I bottle up my emotions..

I do it for the sake of others, cause I don't want to burden anyone. And I'm scared they'd do what I normally do.. Blame myself. 

I blame myself for many, many things.. Even for the smallest of things. And it can get annoying, but it's what makes me, me. Right?

I wish it were easier for me to open up.. I wish it were easier to be happy, I wish it were easier to say..

I'm breaking inside, I've been broken for so long now. And I want to go... I want to go back home..

I want - wish to leave so badly, but I'm chained down by my promises. Promises I don't know if I can keep any longer. I promised a few of you, that I wouldn't harm myself, or end it all so fast.

And I know.. I have a whole life ahead of me to live. But it's just too hard.

I'm like in an endless ocean of emotions, and each crash of the waves just push me down into the water, drowning me. And each time I come back up for air it just crashes on to me, endless amounts of waves pushing me down. And I can't breathe, I can't breathe... And no one is there to pull me out of the water.

Somedays the ocean would be calm.. And other times it tries to drag me down and drown me.

I'm happy for you, I'm smiling for you. I'd do anything for you, for you.

It's always for you, and never for me. And I need that to stop, so let me tell you please.

I'm always sad, and I'm always lonely. And I can't tell you that I'm breaking slowly.