Eva's PoV

It was late, I was knackered and already settled into bed in my pyjamas ready for a full nights sleep when my phone buzzed a couple of times on my bedside. I debated with myself as to whether or not to even reach for it, the bright light sure to wake me from my half asleep mood at the moment. I had almost convinced myself not to when it buzzed a further two times. This was highly unusual for me, the loner with no one to text, so excitedly I grabbed my phone and saw I had four texts from college. My gut fell, yet filled with excitement. Was it good? Bad? Did he find out who I was?
I quickly unlocked my phone and brought the messages up.

College: hey.
College: this feels weird but I need your help
College: if you spread this to anyone I swear I'll fucking rip your head off
College: I'm a mess at the moment and I need someone to tell to help me sort it out.

I stared at my phone with a weird feeling of accomplishment. After this long, Ashton was finally opening up to me. He wanted my help. Okay, he still added a threat into the mix but it wouldn't be him without it.

Me: hey.
Me: don't worry my lips are sealed 🤐

The small message icon with dancing circles told me he was typing, and it seemed to do this for a while. Was he debating whether or not to send it to me? Or was he sending me an essay? I barely blinked as I waited for the messages to ping up, sleep a long forgotten memory for me now. I was practically vibrating, so excited and happy that Ashton was finally trusting me and opening up to me, just how I had wanted him to when I saw how down he was yet he tried to hide it from his closest friends. That broke me. It made me think back to how I had been after Lina and her embarrassing honesty to the class.

College: okay so, I'm just gonna type it all and send it without reading it again. That way all my feelings are just pouring out without giving me time to change what I've written or take it back.
College: now you know me, the guy who doesn't give a shit about anything or anyone who gets into fights and causes trouble. That's how my friends see me too. They've never seen me open or vulnerable and I intend to keep it that way. Those guys have done things for me I can never repay and they'd drop me in an instant if they knew I was soft. I had a girlfriend, as you know, and my breakup from her was painful. She said things that really cut deep and now I can't act myself. It's always in my head. I thought that was it for me but then this girl came into my life. She'd always been there in the background but she jumped into the foreground overnight and for some dumb reason she was trying to help me. I tried to back away, tried to get rid of her but she kept coming back. It was nice. I kept telling my friends she was a loser but in my head I became more intrigued. I think that intrigued feeling has grown into liking her and I don't know what to do. If I tell her and it gets out then my friends will get rid of me - she's definitely not the kind of girl my friends would want to keep company with. If I keep it a secret I risk losing her after we all finish college and with how she has been to me, I'm not sure I want that. She hangs with bad people too, people I hate and they could try and sabotage it. The odds aren't looking good but I really like the girl in class we call earphones.

My eyes widened in shock. I dropped my phone on the bed as I heaved, feeling sick with excitement and surprise. That was the last thing I expected to read. If you gave me a million pounds and fifty guesses of what that message would have been, that would not have been in it. Ashton liking little old me?
But then it hit.
He didn't know he was talking to me. He thought he was talking to a cunning know it all girl who had eyes everywhere when in fact it had just been me blending into the background getting the information.
I suddenly panicked. How did I respond? Did I tell him to go for it or to leave it? What if he asked for my number and when I typed it in, his phone would grass me up and inform him I was already saved under Weirdo, or stalker, or whatever he may have changed it to.
Dean would not be happy either. He was the first guy to get me to come out of my shell properly; to enjoy life and have a good time, he'd helped me when he thought Ashton was hurting me and they got into a massive fight - yet I'd end up dating him and having to balance getting on with two people who despised each other and constantly wanted to kill each other. The bad blood behind those two, Calum and Sirgani included, would keep me on my toes constantly, making sure I never said anything wrong to either of them that may upset them and cause the feud to grow. And if it ever went badly, Dean and Sirgani wouldn't waste time in getting Ashton back for hurting me. This could all turn very dramatic... or it could be fine.

Me: This was an unexpected message but I see your predicament. I'm not going to tell you what to do but I'll try to guide you to make the best decision. You need to weigh up what is more beneficial to you - her or your friends. If you think you'll lose your friends by dating her, is that a risk you're willing to take? Your friends won't disappear so the likelihood is that you will never date her if you keep those friends. Personally I think they'd be stupid to leave you just for who you liked just because it's not someone like amber. Although that didn't end well. Way up your pros and cons of each and what would be better for you. This is a big decision and unfortunately yours alone to make.

I hit send before I could change anything, alter the wording or add anything that would big me up as the better option. I needed him to do this because he wanted to, not because I was sneakily leading him to. This needed to be his choice. I slowly lay my phone down beside me as I snuggled down into my bed once more, hoping this time I would actually manage to get some sleep.