Chapter 15: Lessons in Working it Out
The silence in the lair is deafening, reaching the level of quiet that only empty graveyards and churches manage to achieve. Splinter stands at the head of the group, one hand on his staff. His russet glare scans over his little family, making his sons squirm.
Destiny sits by herself, now wearing an oversized sweater and jeans. She keeps her arms crossed tightly over her chest and she refuses to look at anyone in the room. The turtles are separated from each other and Sarina sits next to Donatello, occasionally looking him over in search of a bump or a bruise, to which he shakes his head at her and silently motions for her to stop fussing.
"So, who would like to explain why I found my sons acting like squabbling children?" Splinter asks. The turtles tense noticeably.
"Leonardo can explain," Destiny snaps. Leonardo flinches noticeably.
Splinter's stern glare turns to his son. "Leonardo?"
"Sensei, I didn't mean—" He stops, clamping his mouth shut as he huffs heavily. He gestures to Donatello. "Sarina and Donnie spied on Des and my training session, and Donnie was ogling Destiny and being generally disrespectful—"
"I was NOT!" Donatello retorts, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yes, we spied, but it was an accident. It went too far and we panicked! And if it means anything, all I said is that she's flexible. I'm sorry."
"It was my idea," Sarina states. "Donatello felt obligated to stay with me, that is all." She glances around. "Plus, I think the workout clothes might have been problematic in this situation."
Splinter sighs heavily. "It sounds like there was disrespect on all sides."
"Yeah, but mostly with them," Leonardo insists. "Raph, Mikey, Donnie, they were all being rude to Destiny. Just because they find her attractive—" Destiny sinks further into her seat, burying her face inside the collar of her sweater.
"Dude, I find pretty much all girls attractive," Michelangelo pipes up. He shrugs, albeit his face is sodden with slight shame. "I can't help it, and I don't mean it to be bad. Girls are cute, like...every girl I have ever seen is cute in some way. Even Irma was cute before she went all Kraang-y. It was probably the cool purple bob-cut."
Leonardo's mouth falls open. Donatello purses his lips and tucks his knees to his chest, hugging himself into a tight ball. Raphael grunts and shifts his position, lifting his hand.
"Mikey's right. There are a lot of pretty girls out there, Leo. There's Karai, April, Renet, Tang Shen—" Splinter gives an agreeable nod at the sound of his late wife's name. Raphael continues, "They're all beautiful and thinking that isn't disrespectful. Also, Leo, you're a hypocrite."
"Wha—"
"You stare at Des more than any of us do."
Destiny turns beet red and her head completely disappears inside her sweater, and suddenly, she is a pseudo-member of the turtle club. Leonardo lowers his head and claps his hand over his face.
Sarina's eyes flash and she raises her hand, earning the attention of the males in the room. "I think Destiny is uncomfortable with this...topic."
"Ya'think?" comes a muffled response from the sweater.
"Des, I didn't—" Leonardo starts.
"It is best that you remain silent, my son," Splinter advises. Once the blue-masked turtle is once again silent, he begins. "My children, this has brought my attention to the fact that all of you are getting older and have become more aware of your bodies since women have come into your life—"
There's a round of groans from the turtles and Raphael physically cringes. Destiny flops onto her side and pulls her arms into her sleeves, still encased in her sweater.
"Sensei, please..." Raphael begs.
"You are getting older. You don't think the same way that you used to and you react very foolishly when spurred by your hormones—"
"Yup! Puberty! We had this speech when we were twelve, Sensei!" Donatello says, his voice getting unnaturally high-pitched.
"And it seems you need it again, since you fought one another over a comment on a woman's appearance!" Splinter retorts. The turtles go quiet and the tall rat takes a very deep breath. "This was a misunderstanding that went too far. Donatello and Sarina have expressed that they are sorry, now there are apologies needed from Leonardo." Splinter reaches down and prods Destiny lightly with his staff. "Destiny, I know that you're feeling safe right now, but you need to be present for this."
Leonardo lifts his head from his hands, forcing himself to look at his brothers and father. Destiny peeks out from her sweater and begrudgingly sits up, pulling her sleeves back as she fastens her steeliest, coldest glare on Leonardo. He bristles a little. Splinter arches an eyebrow in anticipation.
"I'm sorry," Leonardo says. "I let my emotions get the best of me and I acted irrationally, so...I'm sorry and...I hope that you'll forgive me."
He waits for a response. Destiny turns away. His brothers share a quick glance, then nod. Michelangelo is the first to stand up. He flashes a smile.
"You're all good, dude," he says. "We've all been stupid because of girls. Just look at Donnie!" Donatello sputters and Michelangelo laughs. "You know it's true, Don."
"What he said, Fearless," Raphael says as he reaches over and slugs Leonardo's arm. Donatello nods.
The brothers start to disperse, all except Leonardo. Sarina gets to her feet and trails along at Donatello's side, her face back to being relatively blank. Destiny also stands and starts towards the bedrooms, surly.
"Wait, Des," Leonardo says, turning around in his seat. "Can I talk to you? Privately?"
Destiny stops. She doesn't turn around to face the blue-masked turtle yet. Sarina can see her side profile, the way her lips purse and her ears flatten. Leonardo keeps watching her pleadingly.
Splinter clears his throat. "Donatello, why don't you show me your latest project?" he asks.
Donatello perks up. "Oh! Yeah, I'd love to!" he says. "Raph, Mikey, want to see?"
"Totally!" Michelangelo chirps.
"Come on, Sarina," Raphael says, grabbing the cyborg's wrist and pulling her along after him.
They scramble from the room and into the laboratory in record time, the door slamming shut behind them and leaving Destiny and Leonardo alone. Neither of them bothers to look away from each other.
Leonardo gets to his feet. "Des, have I mentioned that I'm sorry?"
She tightens her self-hug and hops back into the living room pit, flopping onto the beanbag chair. "You can say sorry all you want, it doesn't make me feel better."
He exhales heavily through his nose. "Then what will make you feel better? Please talk to me."
"How about you stop acting like an actual animal whenever someone looks at me?"
He huffs. "I do not do that."
She stares up at him for a second. Some of her anger fades, leaving her marred face with the softened look of something that's been wounded. She takes a deep breath and tilts her head back so that she's looking at the ceiling instead of him.
"Every time I think that we're getting back to normal, something happens. I mention...Diaval...and you stiffen up, like someone's flicked a switch in your brain. Then there's the times in training when Raph and I spar and I can just see you fuming—"
His frown deepens. "Hey, that one time he got grabby was completely valid!"
"No, his hand only got close to my boob because he was pounding me into the ground," she snaps back. His face reddens and she rolls her eyes. "In a real fight, no one is going to care that my body is different than a guy's. All they'll care about is winning." She runs her hand through her curls, fingers curving against her scalp. "The only person that cares about what I look like is you."
He loses his posture, pupils rolling back to the floor. He lowers himself into the bench seat slightly adjacent to her, propping his hands on his knees as he folds his hands together. She glances sideways at him.
"I'm sorry, Des," he repeats.
"I want to feel normal around you, like I don't have to hide or act," she says. The tenderness from before has migrated from her expression to her voice, leaving her face cold but her words nostalgic. "The way it was when we first met, when we became friends. I miss how open I felt around you, like when we watched the moon in the middle of the night."
He shuts his eyes. "That feels like forever ago."
"I thought that, today, I'd be confident and try wearing what April gave me. I felt good about myself for a few minutes, and then...then I find out that all I'm doing is making people uncomfortable. It makes me never want to wear anything remotely revealing ever again."
"No, that's wrong," he insists. "You shouldn't stop doing something because someone else is being stupid. I'm the one who needs to change." Her ears perk slightly and his hands, still dangling between the canyon his legs have created, fidget. "You were fun today. You were joking and laughing with me."
"Yeah."
"It was like before. You weren't worried about anything. It's been so long since I've seen you like that," he says. He bows his head so far down that his forehead brushes his thumbs. "And I ruined that."
Destiny slowly gets to her feet, situating herself in front of him. She takes a breath that makes her shoulders bounce. "I'm not innocent of the staring thing either," she says. "I stare at you too, and sometimes I watch Donnie when he's working really intensely on something, or Mikey when he's cramming his tenth slice of pizza into his mouth...but Mikey's is usually out of awe and disgust combined. Sometimes I watch Raph do those sai push-ups and when he looks up, I pretend I'm still reading my book."
"And...you're telling me this, why?"
"Because we need to be open with each other, like friends are," she answers. He finally lifts his head and she manages a light smile. "Plus, it's not fair that you be treated like the big, bad, hormonal man without restraint when I'm just as bad, right?"
He chuckles. "I guess that's true," he agrees. He straightens up, mustering his best begging face. "So...forgive me? I'll keep working on the jealousy thing."
She nods. "I do, and we will both agree that being a teenager sucks." He nods as a grin spreads across his face, and she extends her arms to him as her tail starts to wag. "Peace hug, Leo-bear?"
He grimaces through a laugh as he stands up. "Please don't make Leo-bear a thing," he pleads as he wraps his arms around her.
She hugs him tightly, turning her mouth towards his ear and whispering, "No promises."
They laugh as their embrace tightens, him adding a quick kiss to her hairline that makes her tail gain speed.
"Love you, weirdo," he mumbles.
Her head droops against his shoulder as her eyes flutter shut. "Love you too, doofus."
Inside the lab, Sarina watches the scene unfold through a crack in between the doors. Her eyes flash and a warm feeling spreads through her chest that makes a soft gasp fly from her lips. She looks over her shoulder at where Donatello makes a miniature turtle robot, no bigger than an action figure, dance across the tabletop with Michelangelo and Raphael tag-teaming a beatbox and rap duet on the side. Splinter claps lightly along to the beat.
Sarina claps her hands over her face as the heat spreads to it, making her far too warm. She takes deep breaths, her eyes flashing rapidly. My circuits are overloading, she thinks. There is far too much to try and understand all at once.
The antics behind her continue on without any knowledge of her pending crisis.
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