In the middle of the night, Sarina wakes to the sound of screams. She lurches up on her floor mattress, flinging the blankets from her body in the process as she whirls around to where Destiny is. The wolf mutant is screaming and lurching around in bed as if something is holding her down, tears rolling down her face as pleading whimpers fall from her lips like rain.

"No, please, no...NO! NO!" she shrieks, fighting against her blankets. "STOP IT!"

"Destiny?" Sarina asks. She gets to her feet and moves to the bed, hesitant. "Destiny, what is happening?"

Destiny keeps sobbing, rolling over to cling to her pillow as her screams diminish. "It's all me," she cries. "Please...not them...not him..."

Sarina grabs Destiny's shoulder and shakes her, her bright eyes flashing against the pale, sweating face of the mutant below her. "DESTINY!"

Destiny's eyes fly open and she goes still, her breaths haggard as her gaze darts to all corners of the room. She sits up, trembling, and finally meets Sarina's shocked gaze.

"You...hah..." She coughs, reaches for her throat, then startles in place like a groundhog when it spots danger. "Leo, the turtles...where are they?"

Sarina stares at her. "Sleeping, I believe. They had patrol."

"Are you sure that they're back?" Destiny demands. She leaps to her feet and heads straight for the door. "You can't be sure until you check. Shredder could've gotten them while they were out!" She nearly falls against the door as she grasps the handle, starting to breathe more heavily. "Oh, dear god, it's all my fault if they're dead and it's all because of me I started this I hurt them first Shredder wanted me to. He's waiting. He's biding his time and he was waiting but that could've ended and it'd be too late for all of us!"

She flings open the door only to find that Leonardo is already standing there, his eyes tired yet wide. Destiny inhales sharply, makes a soft sobbing noise, and collapses into his awaiting arms as another round of tears begins, only interrupted by coughing and desperate gulps of breath. Leonardo starts to murmur under his breath as he gently lowers the both of them to the ground, letting Destiny get her breath back and empty herself of tears as they rock slowly back and forth. Sarina can't stop staring as she inches to the doorway, just able to see that the other turtles have emerged from their rooms, all still sleepy but alert enough to show their worry.

"Ssh, Des..." Leonardo's voice rumbles in the disrupted quiet. "It's okay, nothing happened. We're all safe. You're safe." He keeps murmuring little messages with that same general meaning behind it.

"He chose tonight," Destiny sniffles, refusing to open her eyes as she nestles in his arms like a lost puppy. "He chose tonight and none of you were ready. He kept thanking me for all my help, he said it was me...I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"All just a dream, Des. Just a dream."

"I'm sorry...so, so sorry..."

"It's okay, we forgive you."

Raphael creeps forward. He keeps his voice low when he speaks. "Is it just me, or is this one worse than others?" he asks.

"Not just you, dude," Michelangelo utters.

Sarina wobbles in her steps as she hugs the doorway, eyes still casting flickering pools of light into the shadows. "What on earth afflicted her?" she whispers.

"A nightmare," Donatello answers, carefully moving to the cyborg's side while avoiding the pair on the floor. Sarina looks to him and his grave, tentative expression becomes illuminated. "Destiny has post-traumatic stress disorder, or at least we're guessing that she does," he explains softly, as if talking to a young child. "Her mind is wired differently than the rest of us and nightmares like this one are just a small part of it."

Sarina doesn't even blink. "She was different, like she was someone else. She spoke so fast that her words blended and I...I do not understand."

"My children," comes a low, melodic voice from the entrance to the hall. Master Splinter comes closer to the faint light, whiskers drooped. "It is late. Explanations can come tomorrow." The rat glances down at Leonardo and Destiny, whiskers drooping. "Leonardo, how is she?"

"Somewhat improved," he answers. He sighs, running his hand along her slightly damp curls yet again. "Same as ever."

Splinter kneels next to them, reaching out and giving Destiny's arm a gentle brush. She flinches, then opens her eyes, and he smiles at her. "Destiny, do you need some chamomile?" She shakes her head. "It could help with your sleep and the nausea."

She shakes her head again, movements still rigid. "I'll stay here," she croaks.

Splinter nods and slowly lifts himself back to his feet. "That is alright. I hope sleep finds you again. We will have tea in the morning, alright?"

She gives another weak nod before slumping against Leonardo's chest and letting her eyes close. Sarina inches closer to Donatello, reaching for his hand subconsciously, and although he's surprised, he holds her hand.

"Sorry, guys," Leonardo says as he lifts Destiny up. "I'll get her settled. Try to go back to sleep."

He disappears into Destiny and Sarina's shared bedroom. Sarina doesn't budge from her spot, even when Raphael, Michelangelo, and Splinter have already started back to their rooms. Donatello tugs her hand a little, making her blink and shake her head as if to dislodge herself from her thoughts.

"You...uh, you can go back into your room now," Donatello says with a weak smile.

Sarina glances over her shoulder at the little bed that she calls her own, nestled right alongside Destiny's. "Oh...yes," she breathes. "That's correct." She stares at the room for another moment.

He exhales. "You're a little freaked out, aren't you?"

Her head whips back around, eyes flashing once and making him squint. "If she starts to scream again, do I have permission to come and stay in your room?" she asks. "That is only a request, feel free to say no."

He's thankful for the lack of light. It hides the redness in his face. "I guess," he mumbles. "But for now, you need to go to your bed."

She squeezes his hand once before letting hers slip away. "Then...goodnight."

She shuffles into the bedroom and lays down on her mattress, listening as someone, likely Donatello, pulls the door shut behind her with a soft creak. She tugs the blanket up to her armpits, folding her hands together on top of it as she gazes at the ceiling, faintly aware of the two presences near her.

"Leonardo?" she whispers.

There's the rustling of sheets. "Yeah?"

"Can you sleep?"

Silence for a beat. "Honestly? Not until she falls asleep."

Sarina takes a deep breath and clenches her hand against the blanket. "How long has this been going on?"

"A few months, probably almost a year now. It's been a long time either way."

"Oh."

More quiet. The bed creaks as one of the two shift, then there's a long exhalation.

"Leonardo?"

"...yeah?"

"You're very good to her. I'm sure she appreciates that."

He says nothing more, but she hopes above all else that he's smiling.

----------

The next morning, Sarina walks into the dojo in an attempt to evade the arguing and shouting of the turtles as they play one of their racing games. She stops and gazes at the empty space, a long sigh leaving her.

"Hey, Sarina."

The cyborg startles in place and spins in tight circles. "Who's there?"

There's a rustle from the dojo tree. A book falls to the floor with a thwap and a moment later, its owner comes down too. Destiny stoops to retrieve the book, her curls bouncing as she straightens up. She smiles lightly and Sarina relaxes.

"Oh, hello," she says.

Destiny tucks her book under her arm. "Hey," she replies. "What's up?"

"I was hoping to find some serenity, as the turtles get very loud when they play video games. I didn't know you were already here, though."

"That's alright. This is the most peaceful place in the lair, so by all means, relax. Find your serenity or whatever."

Destiny retraces her steps, opting to settle down directly beneath the tree with her back against the solid, twisting trunk as she reopens her novel—Twelfth Night—and starts to read. Sarina doesn't take her eyes off of her, staying rooted in place.

After a while, Destiny lowers the book and shoots the cyborg a tired, annoyed look. "Okay, could you stop staring?"

Sarina blinks. "What happened to you?" she asks.

Destiny stiffens, fingers tightening against her book, and she swallows. "What?"

"Maybe you don't remember, but you had a nightmare last night. You were...different. It was like you had become someone else, someone afraid and guilt ridden," she continues. "I never gave it much thought before, but your arms and stomach are scarred too, just like your face. So, I ask you, what happened that made you harm yourself in such a manner?"

The wolf mutant gets even tenser, her wild eyes darkening as her jaw clenches. "You think that I did this to myself?" she repeats slowly, gesturing to her arms.

"I am guessing that you did, but I could very well be wrong," Sarina says. Her eyes flash and her face seems to sink. "I am only asking because, after last night, I felt a new emotion that I do not understand and I feel as if you will be able to help me understand."

Destiny seems to deflate. Her ears flatten, her shoulders slump, even her face sags as if the weight of the world has been suddenly dropped on her shoulders. She tilts her head back and stares aimlessly into the soft, rippling leaves. "Were you scared?" she asks in a small voice.

Sarina's eyes flash. "I do not know. How do I tell?"

"You couldn't sleep, you felt your heart race, maybe you suddenly didn't want to be left alone in the same room as me?" she lists. "I bet you were also confused, you couldn't move, there was a crawling feeling that curled up your spine and it's like you were being watched." She stops abruptly and stops blinking. She unfreezes after a second and looks back at Sarina. "Am I getting anything here?"

"Almost everything, yes," Sarina says, voice soft. Her eyes go off in a series of flashes, as per usual. "So...I felt fear."

The wolf girl lets out a long breath and hugs her book to her chest. "Of course," she mumbles.

"Believe me, I am not scared of you," she insists. "I was simply...scared of the situation. You were so frantic, I could not help but go into alert."

Destiny forces a weak, slightly unbelieving smile. "I'll take your word for it," she says.

Sarina wanders over and sits down next to her. She leans over and tries to see her friend's expression, but Destiny won't look at her. She's far away.

"Destiny, I want to understand you," Sarina says. "I will not give you pity if you do not want it, but I will give you the listening ear of a friend. Could you tell me why it is that you are...the way you are?"

Destiny closes her eyes as she sets her book down at her side. Her hands drift to her knees, where they curl into tight fists. She sucks in a long breath and gulps.

"I don't like talking about it," she admits, "so understand that you're lucky that I'm telling you anything. It's a long, painful story, so I'm going to summarize. Gotcha?"

"Indubitably."

Again, Destiny has to pause before she even says a word. "A while ago," she starts, "I was targeted to be part of a...recruitment for the Foot Clan, run by the Shredder. My shapeshifting ability was desirable to him. He thought I'd make a good soldier."

"Shredder is your mortal enemy, yes?"

"Yeah." Destiny's claws unsheathe and she starts to methodically scratch at her arm, tracing the pale white scratches etched across her skin. "Diaval was supposed to control me, but Shredder got impatient and sped up the process using different serums. I was captured, beaten, cut up, and electrocuted until I was at my weakest. That's when they...uh...injected me."

Sarina decides not to say anything even as her mind rings with questions. Destiny sighs and she sniffs, her nose and forehead creasing for a split second, then relaxing again like an accordion being slowly played.

"I was hijacked and forced to attack the turtles, with Diaval and Shredder pulling the strings behind the scenes," the wolf mutant continues, stuffing her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. "I was about to..." She stops, her lips trembling for a moment before she purses them tightly. "I...was..." she starts again, "about to finish off Leo when I broke out of it."

"You remember it all?"

"No. The last thing I remember before the blackout was falling under the influence of Diaval's magic. When I awoke, the turtles...April...Casey; they were wounded. I tasted blood, everything hurt. They just stared at me, like I was a second away from tearing them to pieces, like I was a monster, and...and I was."

Her breaths become sharper, her body trembling. Sarina reaches out and touches her shoulder, eyebrows furrowing together as she squeezes lightly.

"Calm down, Destiny," she soothes. "You can stop if it's too much."

Destiny claps her hand over her face, sucking in another breath. "I ran from them. I was afraid, I was confused, I felt like I wasn't me anymore," she admits, still shaking. "The serum made me feel every ounce of hatred that Shredder held for them and feeling that, feeling that..."

Her claws curl against her hair and she exhales. Sarina gazes at her, less perturbed now and more sympathetic. She rubs a gentle circle against her back as Destiny slowly looks up at her, revealing that there are tears in her eyes.

"I hurt them over and over again, Sarina, and...and I try to be better." She lets out a choked laugh that dies before it's had the chance to live. "Every time I think I'm okay, I break apart again and it's back to square one. It never—" She rams her fist against the floor, teeth gritted as the tears escape. "It never stops! Is that so much to ask?!"

"No, it is not," Sarina murmurs. "No one should have to live with such a burden." Destiny wipes her eyes and takes a couple more deep breaths, allowing the cyborg to input her own thoughts. "I have not felt the kind of fear that you have. I have only felt, perhaps, a brief, childlike terror."

"You don't want to feel my kind of fear," Destiny says with a shake of her head. "It consumes you like fire, burning and destroying any rational thought. It makes you feel sick, weak, and then you do things that you regret. If you know someone's fear, you have everything you need to render them helpless. That's one of the most terrifying things of all, I think."

Sarina lets her hand fall from Destiny's shoulder blade. "So is that what you fear? Being helpless?"

Destiny sighs, a weak smile appearing on her lips for a second. "Among others. I guess..." She rubs at her knuckles. "What I truly fear is the idea that, one day, I'll just end up alone again and that it'll be my fault." She gazes towards the ceiling and murmurs out, "I will always end up...back on square one."

Sarina's eyes flash. "That is profound."

She almost laughs, draping her arms over her knees. "It's the Shakespeare. It makes me act dark and poetic sometimes," she jokes dryly.

"I think I know what I fear," Sarina says.

"Yeah?"

"I fear losing my memories and reverting back to the way I was before I met all of you, so...in a way, it is much like your fear. We both do not want to lose what we have."

"Yeah...yeah, that's true."

"Do the turtles have fears?"

"Oh yeah. Leo fears failure; failure to save his brothers, his team, his loved ones. He just wants what's best for all of us and to be the leader we deserve. Donnie, he fears being hated, being shunned for who he is, while Raph and Mikey fear cockroaches and Squirrelanoids." Destiny frowns a little as her pupils swivel around. "But...I think deeper fears would be that Raph fears being abandoned or not being needed, like he's a third wheel. Mikey fears darkness, but the kind of darkness that takes away happiness and love. Mikey can't live in that kind of place. It would break him."

"Donatello fears being hated?" Sarina echoes. She stops and ponders the brunette's words. Her eyes flash and she straightens a little. "Destiny, you have been very brave today and I admire your resolve. Thank you for telling me your story." She thrusts her arms out her. "Hug?"

Destiny blinks, shocked, then starts to giggle. "Uh...yeah, okay," she says.

Sarina embraces her, shutting her eyes as she takes a deep breath. "You are a good person who deserves love," she states. "If you forget that, I will keep reminding you. That is my duty as your best friend."

"You're something else, Sari," Destiny mutters through another laugh, tightening the hug just a bit more before releasing. "But...thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, I must validate someone else's feelings. Farewell!"

She stands and exits the dojo, leaving Destiny feeling just a little lighter and just a little more loved than before.