i just got dental surgery and it's been 6 hours since the procedure finished and I tried to nap but I couldn't because of the excruciating pain but I ended falling asleep with bloody gauze in my mouth and when I woke up my gums were STILL bleeding even though the surgery ended three hours prior and my mouth was STILL numb even though the novocaine kicked in 4 hours prior and guess what? Still six hours later and I'm STILL IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN

[trigger warning // mentions of self harm]

-

"What."

Ouch, Mikey.

"You're not killing yourself," I stated, walking through the door as Mikey dragged out a sigh, closing the door behind me.

"Why not."

"Why so blunt?"

"Because."

"Ouch, Mikey. Just because my wrists are cut open doesn't mean you have to pour all your goddamn salt into them..."

Mikey looked up from the ground, eyes wide as he grabbed my grabbed my left arm, examining it.

"You didn't."

"Sorry not sorry," I muttered.

"No— I don't wanna fucking hear you say sorry for something you shouldn't apologize for, I wanna hear you promise me you'll never fucking do it again."

"Why, it's not like it's about you anyways."

Mikey looked up at me with a right arched eyebrow.

"Okay, fine, it's about you, but it doesn't matter—"

"You're literally cutting your wrists. Don't fucking tell me it doesn't matter."

"Well why the fuck do you care anyways, Michael?"

"Uh— because I fucking love you and I don't wanna see you tear yourself apart."

"Hmph, maybe you shouldn't have broken up with me then."

Almost immediately after I said that, a familiar pair of lips crashed into mine, with the familiar flavor of spearmint and metal along with it that I've craved for the past ten days.

Hmm, whatever happened to that breakup, Mikey?

..not that I'm complaining

Wait WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING HE BROKE MY HEART

IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HIM

NO

NO

NO

NO

Yes.

NO

NO

NEVER AGAIN

NEVER AGAIN

NOPE

A few seconds later, our lips detached as we both gasped for air.

"Uhhhhhh.."

Uhhhhhh.

Best fucking line of 2018, Urie.

"I'm sorry."

"Mikey—"

"I'm sorry, Okay? I'm sorry about—"

Oh my god does this boy ever stop apologizing

I kind of want to

NO.

Well, fuck my mindset.

I don't need "YOU BETTER NOT" screaming in Alex's voice in my head anyways.

I crashed my lips into his as he smiled against my lips.

I still fucking hate him.

No I don't.

But I want to.

But I can't.

But WHY IS MY BRAIN FUCKING WITH ME JESUS CHRIST

Not many seconds later, Mikey pulls away from the kiss and looks down at me with a 'you're gonna regret this' expression plastered on his face.

His dumb, pretty fucking face.

"I promised myself I wouldn't ask you out again for at least a month."

"...So, if you broke up with me because Gerard has feelings for me... But then planned to ask me out again... Then what was the point of breaking up with me?"

"...Well, I guess it just would've made me felt better knowing that I at least tried to not fuck you while my brother had feelings for you."

"Hmm... So what's your fucking point of mentioning that in the first place?"

"I'm not about to make out with my ex–girlfriend."

"Jesus Christ, the one time you aren't straight to the point."

"You should be my girlfriend again."

"And you should make up your mind."

"I want you to be my goddamn girlfriend, okay?"

"You're going to break up with me again."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will. You're going to remember that Gerard has feelings for me, and then you're going to break up with me."

"(Y/N), I promise I won't. I won't break up with you, even if you like, kill Gerard or something."

"Wh— Mikey that's fucking insane. And also, why the fuck would I kill Gerard? Gerard is my best friend!"

"I'm— I'm not saying that you would kill Gerard, I'm just trying to prove a point. Even if you just... went and killed someone I loved, for some reason, I'd still help you hide the body!"

"Mikey," I chuckled, "you suck."

"Yeah, well, thanks for that."

"I meant at trying to say whatever you're trying to say without being direct with it."

"Well— What I'm failing to say is that I love you, and I'll do anything for you, and that I just really want you to be my girlfriend again."

"No."

"But—why???" Mikey whined as I rolled my eyes.

"You literally broke up with me not even two weeks ago and now you want to get back together with me randomly? Mikey what kind of bullshit—"

"Okay, please? I know that I just broke up with you because I'm a dumbass, but come on, please? I love you more than anything or anyone else on this world."

"Yeah... What have you been thinking of the past eight days?"

"..."

"..."

"Why I'm such a fucking idiot and wondering how Gerard hasn't killed me yet for breaking your heart."

"Did you just assume that you broke my heart?"

"Well did I?"

"...yes."

"Well you should say yes."

"And why should I say yes, Michael?"

"Because... It's my birthday. You can't make the birthday boy sad."

"..."

"..."

"Fine."

-
monday
-
september 10th 2018
-
12:26 AM / 00:26
-
emo rat chat
-

Gerard🍋 joined the chat

Gerard🍋: I just heard mikey say he would help bury my body if (Y/N) killed me

Fronk joined the chat

Fronk: I was sleeping but also uh what

Plexiglass joined the chat

Plexiglass: no you weren't

Fronk: prove it blondie

Plexiglass: did you just—

Plexiglass: okay uh

Plexiglass: you were just flirting with me over texts as I bit into my wrist as I read everything

Fronk: SHUT UP

Gerard🍋: oh my god—

Plexiglass: but uh anyway

Plexiglass: I think Mikey and (Y/N) are gonna pull a Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge and just go on a murder of spree, starting with Gerard.

Gerard🍋: oh no

Fronk: WAIT

Fronk: HA YOU ADMIT IT YOU LISTEN TO MCR

Plexiglass: NO I DON'T

Fronk: HOW DO YOU KNOW AB THREE CHEERS THEN

Plexiglass: (Y/N) TOLD ME ABOUT IT

Fronk: OH JUST LIKE SHE LET YOU WEAR HER MY CHEM SHIRTS

Plexiglass: SHUT UP FRANKLIN

Plexiglass: DO NOT CALL ME THAT ALEXANDRA

Plexiglass: UGH

Plexiglass left the chat

Fronk left the chat

Gerard🍋: well that was a catastrophe

Gerard🍋 left the chat

-

WELL

THAT WAS EASY