"I don't want you to go!" Maryann protested, fighting tears. "It feels like you only just returned from the sea yesterday!"

"I don't want to go either. But the job pays well." Edmond Conway tried to reassure his wife. "This was a lucky break, really. Being the only ship in the harbor when they needed transport. It was as if I was meant to take this job."

"That's not luck." She didn't hide her disappointment at all, "that's a curse as far as I am concerned."

"Please, Maryann." Edmond lowered his voice to sound more soothing. "I do this to give you the best life that I can. A life you're worthy of."

"I don't care about money." She snapped, "I care about you!"

"I'll be fi-." He was cut off.

"I have nightmares every time you're away!" She told him. "Did you know that? I wake up in terror most nights. Afraid you have fallen into the sea. Afraid you've gotten lost and that you'll never return to me!" He didn't respond. Only stared at her with a frown. She went on, "You don't know how many days and nights I stand by the harbor just waiting to see your sails come over the horizon."

"I rush back to you." He said, "Emmalien's Constellation cuts through the waves like warm butter. I'll return to you again, just as I always do."

He could see his wife was truly upset. He hated to upset her. He had only ever wanted to make her smile. He went on when she hadn't said anything. "I do it for you." He came to rest his callused hand on her swollen stomach, "I do it for both of you." She was seven months along now. Which only added to her stress of her being alone.

She rested her hands over his, "I understand. But we need you. I need you. I don't want you to miss the birth."

"I will try my very best to make it back in time." He wrapped his arms around her now and gave her auburn hair a gentle kiss atop her head. "I have to be back in time to name her."

"Her?" She smiled, "You think it is another girl?"

He felt a small smile tug at his lips. He wanted a healthy child, but he couldn't help but hope for another daughter. The pain of losing Emmalien two years ago still broke his heart. She had only been five. A sickness took her while he was away at sea. He still never forgave himself for not being there when she needed him most. For not being there to hold her as she faded.

While she was gentle and kindhearted, he knew his wife still held onto this fact, too. Ever since they lost their precious baby girl, she hated for him to go out to sea. Before, she seemed more understanding. She knew the life she signed up for when she married a ship captain. Although, that understanding seemed to fade more and more with each passing day.

Perhaps losing their daughter showed her just how frail and fleeting life could be. She had already lost so much. To lose him would mean to lose everything she valued in life. And now, to lose him would mean losing the father of their newest addition.

"I think it is either a girl or a boy," He guessed playfully. But he could see it in her eyes. She longed for a daughter just the same. It would never replace Emmalien. Nothing could. But it would feel like their family was complete to an extent again. To have little feet running around the house again.

"You're something." She joked. But her smile faded as she lingered on a thought within herself. Finally, she made it known, "I still don't understand why you can't just take me with you."

"You know I can't." He reminded her yet again.

She mocked his voice now, "Bad luck to bring a woman aboard."

"It is." He raised his eyebrows. "Every sailor knows it. There's a reason it's been set in stone, you know."

"Silly superstition." She rolled her eyes.

"It's for the best." He rubbed her tummy again, "Trust me when I say you don't want my men delivering a baby on a rocking ship. You'll be better off with the women, the midwives."

"As you say." She pouted. But ultimately, she did know he was right. She just hated that he was leaving in the morning. This trip came with no warning. She had no time to really prepare. She was surprised the ship had already been loaded so quickly. It was as if the crew couldn't wait to leave. All while she dreaded the whole thing.

"You call my rules superstition." He joked, "yet you function through women's intuition."

"I'm usually correct." She defended herself. "Just like I am right with this. This trip is no gift. It's a curse. And you'd better come home to me in one piece."

"You worry too much." He kissed her lips now, "and that is why I love you."

She rested her head on his shoulder, clinging to him, taking in his scent. Knowing she wouldn't be able to do this again for a month or more. It pained her heart, but she knew there was no swaying him. All she could do was soak up this time she had left with him before he departed. And she meant to.

•••

The morning was rough. She didn't want the sun to come up, and yet it did anyway. Announcing the horrid departure was at hand. She reached her hand out next to her in the bed to find the sheets cold and empty. Her heart dropped into her stomach.

Had he left her without saying goodbye?

She flung herself from the bed, only for the weight of her stomach to cause an aching on her lower back. She ignored the pain to rush from the room.

There he was. Edmond Conway sat at their table, drinking a cup of coffee while reading the paper. He looked up at her, noticing her distress. "Are you alright?" He got up now to go to her.

She threw her arms around him. And kissed his face all over.

"Easy." He gave her a gentle squeeze. "Or I will have to take you right back to the bed, woman."

"I thought you'd left me already." She sounded so sad still.

"Not yet." He chuckled at her. It will be an hour before I go. Finishing touches are being prepared on the ship."

"You truly have to leave me?" She asked for the hundredth time, yet still in disbelief.

"I'll be back before you know it. Care to see me off?"

"You know I'll watch you disappear beyond the horizon." She said sadly.

"I'll watch for you, too."

•••

He always longed for home when he was away. Longing for his wife's embrace. Yet, at the same time, he longed for the sea. The crash of the waves against the wooden hull of Emmalien's Constellation. The cool salt mist that would layer over his warm face and clothes. The steady rock of the boards beneath his feet. He almost didn't even feel it anymore. This was his second home.

The shore was shrinking in the distance, the people beyond any visibility by now. This was the hardest part of any journey. The first steps. Watching home grow smaller and smaller in the distance. Part of you simply wishing to return home to your cozy bed instead. But there was work to be done.

The ship was busy with the crew maintaining everything. The deck was buzzing with life. These were men he had known for many years. Men he trusted. Men that admired him. All except for the two strangers he was transporting. He didn't know them from Adam, but he figured they must be important to be willing to pay so much. Money like that could take care of his family for many years. He may not have to take another job so soon. His wife may have been upset by this job, but she would thank him later. She appreciated all he did for them.

Edmond noticed the two men staring out over the water. He came down further onto the deck to address them.

"I hope you found your quarters to be acceptable." He said to them. But he doubted it. These men came from serious money. It wasn't likely they were truly satisfied with the leaking and rat infested room they would have to share.

"It's perfect." One of the men smiled. He had an accent that Edmond had no way of pinning. He could have been from anywhere. Although, he thought it would be rude to ask them where they were from.

Although Edmond was sure they were only being polite, he was happy to hear it.

"We can't thank you enough for your willingness to help us." One of the men said.

"I know how it feels to be far from home." Edmond assured them. "I am happy to help."

"When is meal time?" The other man asked, "I have quite an appetite."

"We've only just set sail." The captain laughed. But he saw neither of them were laughing. "You'll need to take it up with DeVitas. He is the cook on board. He should be able to help you with that."

The captain left them to go about their business. He checked the sun again. Shining ever so brightly as they sailed to the east. Then he checked the locket around his neck with pictures of his wife and little Emmalien in it. This was his comfort when he felt stressed or unsure. He always intended to carry them everywhere. Keeping them near his heart.

That night, he updated his logbook. Cataloging their position, course, and speed. Then, adding more.

𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚎: 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚎 7𝚝𝚑 1834

.....𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚔𝚢. 𝙴𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚣𝚎.

𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚢. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚍𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕. 𝙸 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝r𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚊 𝚟𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚕 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚊n𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜.

𝙷𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚗 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚢𝚊𝚗𝚗 𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚢. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚠 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚎𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚓𝚘𝚋 𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕.

𝙻𝚎𝚝'𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝙼𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚘n𝚎𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚊.

He turned in for the night and allowed the ship to rock him to sleep.