"I don't think Il-don will ever get over losing the cadet. Not when every time he looks at his hand, he gets a reminder," San Jin came to his mother for advice about how to help the team as soon as he got back from the training yard.

"Doesn't he remember how you saved your team member together?"

"I don't know. It is almost like he resents Xuiyang. I just wish Junseo was around to talk with them both. When we were travelling, he talked about what it is like to lose a patient once and it helped a bit. I am just trying to focus of what we overcame together. It just doesn't stop the guilt." His mother nodded but didn't say anything.

"And I am still so angry," San Jin paced around room. "It was bad enough we were attacked on the road. I mean the risks had to be obvious after the other attack and the fire at the estate but all the capital could be bothered to send was another bunch of trainees. Then when we get back that fool of a Lie pulls the rug out. Talk about giving our enemies a hand-up! Doesn't he get it?"

"Have you told him that directly?" she asked patiently.

"Who, the Knight-Master? I am sure he would not want to hear what I have to say."

"I think you need to say it. Not just for yourself. For the team who haven't had a chance to sort through what the battle meant. It had to be first blood for some of them and where are their leaders to talk them through all it might mean?"

San Jin was startled by this observation. Then he remembered how his mother had been raised in a military family and had made a point of welcoming the master-at-arms in to debrief after the ambush earlier that year. Over the past few days Manager Doak had done his best to spend time with each team member but it wasn't the same since they were still very guarded around him. San Jin sighed. "Are you telling me not to wait?" he asked.

"Let's get a guard detail organized. You can cut through the park to get to the forge before dinner. Just send a message if you decide to stay at the yard with the other boys. Oh, and offer our place as neutral ground for the meeting with Junseo." Her instructions made it clear she already made plans.

"Thanks," San Jin said with a crooked smile. Then he added, "I just wish Me Yan was here for me to practice my speech on. He is really good at helping me make things clearer."

"You don't need practice. In your heart you know what needs to be said," she nodded firmly and pointed to the door.

San Jin paused to take a deep breath before he knocked on the gate. He wasn't used to confrontations, especially not with an elder. Most of the time if he couldn't find a smooth path through an issue, he just tried to avoid it. There was no avoiding the grumbling Knight-Master who opened the gate.

"Just you. Not a delegation?" He peered closely at San Jin and then did a quick count of the guard detail. "I see your family is still worried."

"Yes, well, they have good reason. The succession for the supposed fourth kingdom is in dispute. My uncle ousted a few pretenders while he was cleaning up things at the estate. I think my father's loyalties are obvious but everyone is still rattled," San Jin shrugged. He did not come to discuss family politics.

Knight-Master Lie stepped back then pointed, saying, "Your lot can help themselves to whatever is left in the pot over there." Then he guided San Jin toward the workshop. One of the guards insisted on inspecting the room before taking up watch at the door.

"If you are wondering, none of the others knew I was coming here. I am not their messenger. In fact, I think Junseo would be pretty angry if he knew I was here. But you have to know how much everyone is still hurting."

Knight-Master Lie rubbed his chin then gave a slight nod.

"After the attack, and everything," San Jin couldn't bring himself to talk about the loses directly but plowed on with what he had been thinking, "I keep remembering things my cousin told me about facing enemy fire. You might not know how hard our grandfather was on him, ridiculing him for being honest about feeling scared and guilty. It nearly shattered him but you took time to talk. You were miles up the chain of command but took an interest in a young soldier. Honestly, it saved him. You probably don't know that you saved his life then. I know he would have been so proud to have returned the favor." San Jin swallowed hard and looked away for a minute.

Knight-Master Lie sat perfectly still. San Jin had not said it directly but his question was clear. How could a commander who had such a bond with regular soldiers totally abandon his specially selected trainees after their first true battle? The older man started to blush as San Jin continued. "Do you remember your first battle? I mean the first-time lives were lost either because of something you did, or maybe couldn't do? Il-don is still blaming himself for the cadet. Says he must have been the weakest link since he got the worst backlash with the poison."

"That is nonsense," Knight Master Lie objected but San Jin ignored the comment.

"Junseo was beside himself over having left wounded behind. It wasn't his call but he says it is his fault for not staying strong. He probably thinks going back to the Medical Academy is a kind of penance. I sure would. Especially after how the healers talked about us like some kind of new disease to be studied." San Jin stopped when he realized he had lost the main thread of what he was trying to say.

Knight-Master Lie bowed his head then admitted, "I was wrong to not explain myself better. It is just the risks increased so rapidly with foreigners trying to break the kingdom back into the original principalities. Even in the best of times anyone in line for the throne can attract trouble. Now even six, or eight degrees, is not enough separation."

"You think what you are doing is keeping us safe?" San Jin mocked. "Just how do you think that is working out? Look at my guards. Do you think the gangs will leave Song-hee alone if he goes back home? That is if he can even make it there at all. Not to mention the boys whose families are living in an active war zone. How safe is sending them away?" San Jin's realized how loud his voice was getting when the guard looked in on them.

"You alright there?" the guard called.

San Jin gave a quick thumbs up then took a long slow breath before quietly explain his biggest worry. "If that is not enough, think about the number of watchers trailing Junseo in and out of the palace everyday. Who knows which factions are involved? He is a dragon's son after all. What if he decides to go to Psyonan and his northern friends decide he would make a good hostage? My brother will never forgive me if something like that happens."

Knight-Master Lie barely meet San Jin's eyes. "Wait. You know he is a Lie?"

"He doesn't hide is sapphire or even his birthmark for that matter. Anyone staying with him in the dorms would probably have guessed even before he got the scar on his arm. Yes, we know. But it didn't send us running. After all we signed on knowing who you are."

Knight-Master Lie scratched his head and admitted, "I need to think on this a bit more."

"Don't just take my word. Come talk with the others. Just don't take too long." San Jin voiced strained as he held back his anger. He gave a slight nodded then signaled his escort to reassemble.