"Not that Purple, I'm Afraid"
track¹³; not that purple, i’m afraid :
My favorite color is that of mystery,
And so is my taste in those who
Make a volcano erupt within me.
Sometimes, the color takes a more personified form
And appears in the shape of an ambiguous.
Maybe putting them on a pedestal was a fatal mistake,
Words of disappointment, regret and failure loom
And choke me, but also soothe like a balm
I'm playing a dangerous game
The play of moves.
And, oh! What sneaky moves they are!
A subdued wink, the gentle tinkle of laughter
Alas, I fail and appear horrifyingly desperate
And shamefully obvious.
Of opinions I am afraid;
The biting whispers and hushed glances
And no matter how much I brush them aside
I fear that they aim for my poor self
Which is quite the contrary.
It petrifies me; seeing how much I am attached
And the more I dodge confrontation
The deeper shall be the scar of heartbreak
And even more so, the gaping hole of a good friend.
It is a curse to adore a friend
And to go back to thinking of them as such
Is pain beyond imagination
So I keep my feelings bottled and
Reduce him into a meaner, lesser light.
He's not that purple, I must confess
I am but a master with colors;
Painting him in shades that I prefer,
Instead of taking his own colours
And seeing him for what he is,
Rather than what he should be.
~maits²⁴⁸
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