I wake up in excruciating pain, sweat forming on my forehead as my hand moves to my belly. I crane my neck to read the table clock, it shows five in the morning and the lamp on the desk is on, burning through my eyes. I must've dozed off while studying.

My clothes are the same ones I wore after I took a shower yesterday and I feel the immediate need to change into comfortable pjs. A cramp hits me in the stomach as I stand up from the chair, my back hurting from sleeping with my face down on the desk.

I pull out a loose t-shirt and pjs before walking to the drawer where I keep tampons. I didn't want to keep them in the bathroom since James and I share it so I found a drawer in my closet for the stock.

Moving inside the bathroom, I decide to take a warm shower to comfort my body, telling myself that I'll have a better sleep if I'm all cleaned up. I even brush my teeth, following the morning routine before getting myself into the comfortable clothes. I debate whether going to James's room would be a good idea at this hour because I'd really like some company to breathe through the pain but then decide it would be selfish of me to wake him.

I lie down in my bedroom under the light comforters, my hands held against my belly as I try to take deep breaths like Dr. Wilson taught me, hoping it would help with this pain but it takes too much energy out of me.

After what seems like couple of hours with me falling in and out of sleep, the bathroom door opens and James steps in the room. He looks a little pissed when he sees me. "I thought you were going to come to bed."

"I fell asleep on the desk." I manage to get out, my voice too feeble and he immediately frowns.

"What's wrong?" He's by my side in a second, kneeling in front of me as he studies my face. "Lil, are you sick?"

"It's just periods." I tell him and he nods, his hands coming upto my cheek as he caresses it.

"Is there anything I can get you? Warm things help, right?" He asks  and I nod but then shake my head.

"Yes, they help but I don't want anything. I slept on the desk while studying so I just really need some good sleep." I look at him as he gets up and removes the comforter from my body, "What are you doing?"

He doesn't respond as he puts his arm under my shoulders and knees before picking me up, almost making me shriek in surprise but he only rolls his eyes in response before he leads me to the bathroom door and then opens the door connecting to his room.

The blinds are drawn and there's only a small table lamp which is on, rest is pitch black even though I'm sure there's sunlight outside. He puts me down slowly on his bed and I immediately succumb into the comfortable mattress. Wow, why don't I have this in my room?

"Scoot over." He says, pulling off his shirt which only leaves him in boxers, making me appreciate the sight only for a second before another cramp hits me, making me wince in pain. "Are you sure you don't have to take a medicine for this? It doesn't look good, love."

I nod because I really try to avoid taking pills as much as I can. "It's fine. I just need sleep." I tell him before I scoot over and he lies down next to me. "I want a mattress just like this in our bedroom."

He chuckles at my words before nodding as he leans forward to kiss my nose. It's such a small gesture but it lightens up my mood a little. "I'm sorry I didn't come to bed."

"You didn't do it deliberately." He points out and I nod. "Get some sleep, please."

I close my eyes as I scoot closer to him, wrapping my arm around his torso before I nuzzle my neck into his chest, taking in his scent. The warmth of his body is oddly comforting to my pain as I fall asleep hugging him.

A loud ringing phone wakes me up with a jolt and I hear James cursing under his breath as he reaches to the night stand for his phone. He puts in on silent before he turns to me. "Sorry." He whispers, probably just as disoriented from his sleep as I am.

"Who is it?" I ask, not registering in my sleepy state that I'm not supposed to be asking these things.

"It's Alex, she's probably checking up on the documents I was supposed to send her. It's almost noon." He says, rubbing his eyes. "How is the pain?"

"Better." I say as I move my hands out to his face and lean up a little. "You've a very beautiful face, you know that?"

He smiles at my words, shaking his head at me. "I don't think anyone has ever told me that."

"Well, people are stupid. You do." I lean forward to press a kiss on his cheek, probably for the first time and then move to his other cheek before moving to his forehead and down to the tip of his nose and finally press my lips against his in a long peck.

I didn't even know there was a side of me that could be this affectionate with anyone but James seems to bring out all sorts of things in me that I never thought could exist. Just sleeping by his side twice has made me so much comfortable in his presence that I sometimes forget to draw the boundaries which shouldn't be blurring this soon.

A lot of it comes from the fact that I didn't ever think I could be happy again after the marriage, I didn't think it was possible for us to get along but now that we are, I'm so afraid that something's going to screw it up. That's why I don't want to waste time holding myself back. I know I don't have very good people skills, but I think I'm learning James-skills pretty nicely.

He sighs against my lips as he brings his hand up to brush aside the strands of hair from my face. I part away from his face to find him staring at me intensely.

"I have work to do." He says, making me groan dramatically. "We're very close to making the deal."

I roll to the other side of the bed again as I lie down on my back, creating distance between us which only makes him scoot to my side, moving closer as he presses his palm flat against my belly, the warmth spreading throughout my entire body.

"Gotta study too." I say as I look up at the ceiling and he gives me a look.

"I think you should take a rest day."

"Wish that was an option."

He studies my face for a minute before speaking, "How about I get my laptop in bed, you get yours and whatever notes you need? You can also be comfortable and study."

I immediately agree because even though I feel better, it doesn't mean that pain was subsided completely. It has just simmered down to the point that I'm not crouching down in pain. Being on periods is the worst thing I have to endure through.

By the time James and I settled down with our stuff in the bed again, he also brings us both cereal bowls so we can have breakfast. I spend the most of Sunday either lying down or studying, or eating, while he spends it on conference video calls and typing on his mac.

When Monday morning rolls in, cramps are much better like they usually are on a second day. I wake up to hear some shuffling around and open my eyes to see James buttoning up a white shirt while standing in front of the mirror.

"Hey." I breathe, catching his attention and he looks back at me.

"Morning." He gives me a small smile before walking over to my side. "You can sleep more if you want, I'm going to head out, okay?"

I nod, nuzzling my head in the pillow, "Will I see you later?"

"Yes, you're coming for lunch. I've informed Sophia to show up accordingly." He bends down before pressing a kiss on my hair. "See you in a few hours."

I sleep for a couple of more hours before getting ready for the day. I wear a beige wide leg trousers along with a plain white blouse because I didn't want to wear anything uncomfortable. Since I skipped breakfast for more sleep, after getting ready I just have a glass of milk and then go up to the study to kill some hours making notes.

When the clock strikes noon, I decide to leave. The last time I visited Clark Enterprises, it led to me leaving pretty pissed off from James. But now that things between us are good, I'm hoping today will be better.  I'm excited for today because it means a step closer to settling in the penthouse I've come to love so much. I can't wait to move in with James in a place that will only be ours.

"Hi Olivia, is Mr. Clark in his office?" I ask as I reach front desk, running a hand through my loose hair.

She smiles up at me, nodding. "Yes, Lillian. Have a good day."

After giving her a small smile and a same to you, I make my way to James's office. Amy is sitting outside on her desk and eyes me when I realise the door is shut, ignoring her I move to knock before turning the doorknob to enter in.

James is on the phone when I enter and he gestures his hand towards the chair to let me take a seat. I keep my handbag on the chair before I move behind the desk, going to stand behind his chair. My hands move to his shoulder and he stiffens for a second under my touch, giving me a wavering look which only makes me smile more as I lean down to kiss his earlobe.

"Yes, the deal was finalised this morning. I need to go through the clauses in the paperwork. Alex mentioned something about financial discrepancy which shouldn't be there, and makes no sense. I need you to go through it as well." He speaks into the phone, his eyes never leaving mine as he gives me a narrowed look, which only adds onto my amusement, making me roll my eyes as I start to part away from him.

But he wraps his hand around my wrist before pulling me to himself. I know his partial attention is on the call, which makes me feel a little guilty for distracting him.

"Yes, we'll go through it in a couple of hours. Bye, Elena."

As soon as he hangs up, his hands go around my waist as he pulls me between his legs, his head tipped back as he stares at me. "Hello to you too, Mrs. Clark."

"Hi." I grin, leaning down to place a hasty kiss on his lips which makes him tighten his grasp for a second before I pull back. "We're in your office."

He rolls his eyes, standing up from the chair, "And? It doesn't matter. I just have to lock the door and the walls are soundproof."

His words make me blush as I stare at him in almost disbelief. "James." I breathe, and he smirks at me.

"Don't worry baby, first time is definitely not going to be against the desk. Later? Well, that we can consider."

"My god!" I shake my head at him, my cheeks heating and he laughs to himself.

"C'mon, we're going out for lunch. Sophia will meet us there." He takes my hand before picking up his phone and leading us outside his office.

Amy looks up from her desk, her eyes fixing on our adjoined hands but doesn't say anything. James pauses for a minute, looking at her. "I'll be out for lunch, schedule a meeting with Elena from finance afterwards, Oliver will be joining us."

"Yes, sir."

When we enter the elevators, I turn to him, "Did you finalise the deal with that pharmaceutical company?"

"Yes, but now there's some issue with the clause in their paperwork. I need to look into it after lunch. How is your prep coming along?" He tugs on my hand to lead us outside when elevator door opens.

"It's good, I just don't like how much I unnecessarily stress about exams." I shrug, being honest and he gives me a sideway looks.

After we get outside I notice the Audi that Mark drives outside. I'm surprised that James isn't driving himself but when he opens the door for me, I get inside.

"Hello Mark." I give him a small smile and he nods at me with a smile of his own.

James slides in from the other side as I buckle my belt and he almost immediately finds my hand in his. "Do you still have cramps today?"

"Bearable."

"Is it normal to experience so much pain? You could barely sit up yesterday." He runs his thumb on my knuckles and I shrug.

"I think so. My gynaecologist knows the history, she said it'll get better now that I'm on the pill, since it helps to regulate the cycle better, so let's see?"

He nods at the information but doesn't say anything. I notice when Mark starts driving onto the from the Peachtree Street towards Buckhead, and after ten minutes comes to a halt.

"I'll pick you up in an hour, Mr. Clark?" He looks at James through rearview mirror.

"Make it half an hour more, Mark. It might take some time to finalise things."

"Sir." Mark nods, acknowledging.

Both James and I get out of the car and he's by my side in a second, buttoning his jacket as he holds my hand, leading me to the restaurant that seems to be buzzing with people even on a weekday.

"Reservation under the name Clark." James tells the server in the lobby who nods.

"Yes, right away sir. Table for three?"

My husband nods as the server lead us to a table at the rooftop which seems to be looking off to the city view. He pulls back my chair for me and I mumble a quick thank you as both James and I take a seat side by side.

"We're waiting for someone, we'll order as soon as she joins." He tells the waiter who nods, giving a polite smile. After he disperses, James picks up the menu and looks at me. "Do you want a drink?"

I shake my head. I focus on the menu in front of me and decide that I'll have asparagus and lemon garlic baked salmon. James decides on a grilled chicken caesar salad.

"You can go for a drink if you like, you know?" I offer as we set aside the food menu, waiting for Sophia to join us so we can order.

"I have work to do back at the office. I don't know why she's not here already." He huffs, looking at his watch. I know how impatient he can be so I don't comment on it.

Just few seconds later a woman approaches our table, her white dress fitting every part of her perfectly and just adding to the beautification of her brown skin. Her dark blonde hair are almost reaching her waist and she looks a little frantic.

James stands up to greet her and I follow through. "Sophia." He extends his hand forward which she shakes with a warm smile before he turns to me. "This is my wife, Lillian."

"It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise." I smile at her, shaking her hand and she takes a seat opposite us.  "James has told me some great things about your work."

It's true, James told me that she helped renovate our entire floor in the mansion and also redecorated his office a couple of years ago.

"Oh, hush. I'm just doing my job. Have you guys ordered food?" She picks up the menu.

"No, but we've decided so go ahead, we were just waiting for you." James puts his hand up for the waiter and he's immediately by our table.

Sophia orders pasta for herself while James orders for both of us. After ordering she turns to her bag and pulls out an iPad, turning towards me. "I have a few designs ready according to the layout of the penthouse along with a few things Mr. Clark has already picked."

"We can always change that if you don't like it." James reminds me and I just offer him a soft smile, nodding. "Let's start from the living room?"

Sophia grins, "Excellent, let's get to it."

She shows me various designs of couches and coffee table that I end up confused but between James and I, we pick on beige coloured couches along with a mahogany wood centre table. By the time waiter serves our food, we have finalised on just those two things.

"It's a beautiful penthouse with an incredible view." Sophia comments as she moves to eat her food and we carry out a few more finalisations over the food.

"Do you think it will be ready in couple of weeks?" I ask her as we're almost done eating and finalising things for master bedroom.

"Yes, of course! I'll place the orders today with the vendors and the expected delivery should be this week. The only time would be to set up everything, that shouldn't take more than another week." She assures me and I nod, feeling excited.

I didn't know that finalising things for the house would take so much effort and choosing such little things like the flower vase we want in the foyer area but overall Sophia has done a great job with layouts, making it super easy to choose the designs she came up with.

I can't lie that I feel a little guilty that James's expenditure would be spent over the house while I'm putting so little in it. That's a conversation we need to have that wouldn't go well.

"There are still some small things left for you to finalise." Sophia pipes in, moving to the hallway exterior and I sigh, my eyes moving to James and he must realise that my expertise here is very limited.

"I think you can finalise those things on your own, send me the layout and I would approve of it, letting you know if it needs any changes. You're good at your job so I trust you with little stuff." James gives her a polite smile and she looks at me for confirmation, making me nod.

"Yes, please. So far everything you've shown is beautiful, thank you so much, Sophia."

She grins at me. "Don't worry about it."

James's phone starts ringing and he pulls it out, frowning at the screen before meeting my eyes and excusing himself from the table. When he walks away I look at his retreating figure, sighing because my feelings for him continue to grow. When I look at Sophia, an intense weird feeling sets in my stomach to notice that she's pretty much mirroring my expressions.

I clear my throat to catch her attention and she seems to snap out of her thoughts. She gives me a sweet smile and suddenly I feel uncomfortable knowing the way she was just looking at James. I know how attractive he is, he is the most handsome and beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on so I understand the effect he has on others. But something about the way she looked at him reminded me of how Amy looks at him, and that doesn't sit well.

"So, how long have you known James?" I ask, trying to pry around their history and she meets my eyes, cautious.

"Couple of years. I redesigned his office for him when he joined after Yale and then the floor back at the mansion."

I narrow my eyes at her but don't speak anything further because I can't just upright ask her if she has slept with my husband in the past. The thought leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I notice James making his way back to us as he asks for the bill from the waiter who was serving us.

"I'm afraid we have to leave. You can mail me and I'll finalise everything." He looks at Sophia and she nods, closing her iPad screen.

The waiter comes back with the bill and James writes down a huge tip for him which makes the guy smile broadly as he thanks him. He brings back the card just a minute later and James holds out his hand for me which I take.

"It was nice meeting you, Sophia." I smile at her, trying my best to not let my thoughts get to me.

"Pleasure's mine, Lillian."

We leave after bidding goodbye and Mark is waiting for us outside. He opens the backdoor for me and James slides in from the other side. He looks at me as I buckle the seatbelt.

"What's wrong?" He studies my face, making me scowl at him because I didn't know I'm that easy to read.

"Nothing's wrong. Why?" I try to pretend like my thoughts aren't taking a turn for worse because I really am being stupid.

"Lil, communication. Tell me." He pesters and my eyes move to Mark to make him realise that it's probably not the best conversation to have here but he just stares back at me. "It's okay, we can talk."

I shift a little in my seat before turning my neck to look at him completely, "Did you sleep with her?"

"Who? Sophia?"

"Yes, James. Did you sleep with Sophia?" I ask, my voice clear and my eyes move to Mark but he doesn't even flinch for a second.

"Where is this coming from?" He asks but every second he doesn't answer only aggravates me more.

"That isn't yes or no."

He sighs, trying to reach out for my hand but I shake my head, making him give me a look. "Yes, once, it was years ago. You've got nothing to worry about."

Fuck. I close my eyes to balance my breathing and stare out of the window to avoid looking at him. Is there any woman he hasn't slept with? The thought makes me want to gag but I swallow the bitter taste.

"Lillian."

"James, you're letting a woman you slept with design our home. What part of you thinks that's okay?"

He looks taken aback by my words, "I don't think I should let my private life interfere with the professional one, considering that the matter took place years ago and she's good at her job, which is why I asked for her expertise."

I breathe, his words only pissing me off more. "There is so much wrong with that statement. First, it's not your professional life, you're getting our apartment designed. Second, I'm sure she's good, I've seen that already but I'd rather not look at our home and think about how you fucked the woman who helped design it. Also, next time let me know before we are about to meet someone and she's one of your flings."

His gaze turns a little colder at my words, but I don't say anything as I go back to staring out of the window. I understand Sophia is good, I mean I saw the layouts her team came up with but I'd rather not have her in charge of designing a place I've come to love.

When Mark parks the car outside Clark Enterprise, I get out without waiting for either of them to open my door. I start walking towards the car and I feel James's presence behind me as he calls out my name, making me turn around abruptly to stare at him.

"What?"

"Why aren't you coming up?" He looks a little helpless but I don't feel guilty because I'm really fuming inside. "We'll talk, c'mon."

"You've got a meeting to attend, Mr. Clark. I'll see you at dinner."

•••

hi. hope you're well. for those of you who are new here, Emancipation has been published and is available on Amazon! the chapters posted here are the unedited versions. If you are someone like me who is very impatient when it comes to reading books, order your copy now!

link is available in my bio. it's also available in Kindle version. there is a bonus chapter available too, called "The Happy Middle"

enjoyy!