Yuno:

Sitting on my bed by the window, I look out over Neo Seoul before an overcast dawn. Lights and neon, advertising-holograms - all this sparkles on the horizon, but the light is already paler due to the morning sun, hidden under a huge layer of urban smog and storm clouds. Strange feeling. Being in the metaverse for too long, you want to feel reality, freedom from the choker and the closed space of chat rooms, but once you get back, the feeling of tightness becomes more vivid. It's even worse here, and there's nowhere to run. Still, Elysium is the best place in the world, although it doesn't exist, in the usual sense of the word.

Often I find myself thinking that I can't stay in reality at all. The fear of loneliness, loss, meaninglessness of my own life depresses me, and it becomes scary, so I run to where I feel calm. Where I create my own ideal world that others accept. This is my only meaning.
An anonymous invitation to some event live comes again. I put on my choker and head back to the Elysium.

I don't have time to understand where I am, as someone's cold palms cover my eyes.

"Hi. I thought that you might be bored, so I decided to call you here," Aia smiles.

"Do you read minds?" I chuckle.

"At least I try."

"It works out well."

"I'm a fast learner," Aia says, looking around, "How do you like the location?"

We find ourselves in the middle of a huge cathedral, created in the likeness of those that used to flaunt in Europe in the real world. The space is huge, entirely of white stone. It seems that if you shout, the echo will be deafening.

"I like these atypical chatrooms," I reply.

"I wouldn't even call it a chatroom. No one uses such locations, this is their charm. A game of contrasts."

For some time we silently stand and consider all this magnificence.

"I wonder who was the designer of this location?" I ask her.

"In fact, this location wasn't created by the designer. There are places all over the server that were designed based on something real, not recreated by a person, but uploaded as a file, just so that at least somewhere there is a memory of it. If I'm not mistaken, this is an exact copy of a real cathedral that once existed in the world. That is, not a collective image of different churches," Aia explains.

"It's kinda weird..."

"Why strange?"

"I don't know. It feels like we're living on the ruins of something good."

She is silent.

"I don't have that feeling," Aia suddenly replies.

"You're a pretty weird thinker, actually," I chuckle.

"What do you mean?" she asks, like she doesn't really know what I'm talking about.

"You feel strangely carefree. Sometimes I feel like you haven't lived a real life."

"I still don't understand."

"Do you take pills?"

"Of course. Like everyone else."

"Maybe that's the whole point. To be honest, I sometimes miss pills intake. Sometimes I can stay without it for a week."

"Seriously? It must be hard. I never miss pills intake," Aia replies.

"I didn't miss it on purpose. Just once there was a strange feeling that they don't suit me at all. I've had insomnia, an unnatural surge of energy, euphoria. So I decided to take it every other day and see what happens," I say.

"You could have asked for a different category of pills," Aia counters.

"I know. But I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself, to register as a person who had side effects. It's kinda dangerous. There are sixteen categories of pills based on sixteen personality types, mine suits me best. I'm afraid that if I'll get another one, then some of my abilities will fail. That is, productivity will decrease, which means I won't be able to create locations as I usually do. I have already studied such cases," I answer.

"And what category of pills do you have?"

"INTJ-A."

"In that case, you could be transferred to INTJ-T. Not much difference," Aia says.

"I don't know. I'm not ready to risk. Who guarantees that after switching to another category, even a subcategory of pills, I won't become different? Nobody. They don't say anything at all. Come to any medical institution and ask them a question. They are silent. They are like dead. By contract, they're not allowed to talk about it, you know? And I sometimes think - why should we believe everything and everyone? Who said that it is necessary? Here you are, do you believe them?" the tone of my voice becomes more emotional, and I understand that if I started to behave like this in the real world, the security service would have suspected me long ago.

In real world, speaking louder than a certain predetermined tone is forbidden. It is instantly detected by the mechanism inside our bodies and transmits a signal of a violation. Then mental state checks begin, if necessary, isolation takes place in a special clinic, about which no one knows anything. Everything around has turned into a conspicuous mystery, the whole world seems to be talking in a whisper.

"I don't know, Yuno. It's hard for me to judge such things. But I have one acquaintance in Elysium... You and him are somewhat similar," Aia says thoughtfully.

"And what?"

"You think the same way. Perhaps you would be interested in talking to him," she smiles.

I sigh wearily and look away.

"Do you really think I care about other users?"

"You feel lonely. You lost your bestfriend. You feel that something is wrong, you feel deceived, you are disturbed by what is happening around you, you are afraid of the unknown. Yuno, you probably need someone to talk to. Not only to me."

I'm silent, realizing that all the words she said are the pure truth. Aia sees right through me. But even recognition causes some unknown fear in me. So I chuckle smugly, as if she is talking utter nonsense. Defensive reaction.

"And who is this guy? Why are you saying we think alike?"

"You are different. But your thoughts mostly alike."

She takes my hand.

"Yuno. If you let me, I will always be there for you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I just don't want you to feel lonely."

"Sounds like a condition. What does mean 'if you let me'? You already close to me. Closer than anyone. At least here in Elysium. Although, of course, I would like you to be around not only here... I want to see you in reality," I answer thoughtfully.

Aia is silent for a while.

"If you gave me the passwords to some of the locations you created, I could see you more often."

I look at her in bewilderment.

"Sorry, what?"

"I don't want to end up in random rooms. I want to be only in those created by you," she looks pleadingly into my eyes.

"But why do you need passwords? You can enter them at any time as well. I have all the links in my account."

Aia covers her face with her hands wearily.

"Yuno, my account has a very strange bug that prevents me from going to locations that I myself would like to choose. That is, the list of proposed rooms for the day is limited. I don't know what it has to do with..."

"Have you tried writing to support?" I interrupt her without letting her finish.

"I tried, but they didn't answer..."

"I can't give you the passwords of my rooms," I say sharply.

Aia's expression instantly changes. The soft, ingratiating tone disappears. It's like a completely different person in front of me. Unfamiliar to me before.

"What does that mean, Yuno?" she asks coldly.

"That doesn't mean anything. I don't give passwords to anyone. I'm the creator of Elysium locations. This is my job, for which I am responsible."

"You don't trust me?"

"Aia, stop this please."

"Yuno, now you declaring to my face that your feelings for me mean nothing. They simply don't exist."

I sigh in annoyance. What Aia says at this moment reminds me of the exhausting and pointless showdowns in my family and previous relationships. Conflict for the sake of conflict. As a way to fight boredom.

"Listen here, Aia," I can't contain myself and I'm already starting to growl at her, "I just hate it when someone violates my personal space. Climbs into my work affairs. Crosses the boundaries of what is permitted. I don't know what you're up to, but the nonsense you're spouting right now doesn't make any sense. Maybe you have some purpose, I have no idea. But I will not succumb to your childish manipulations, don't even hope. Keep your grievances to yourself..." I'm watching her reaction.

She is about to protest, but I continue:

"And my feelings... Do you even hear yourself? We are in the metaverse. In simulation. Therefore, feelings here are a simulation."

"You're contradicting yourself. Before that, you said that you would like to see me in real life," she throws aggressively.

I shut up. Well, she got me.

"But you know what, Yuno? You're right. It's all simulation. Moreover, in Elysium everything is so fake that you have no idea... And when you'll find out, you will be disappointed and even discouraged!" the anger in her voice is gaining momentum.

"What are you talking about now?"

"You say your feelings is a simulation? Please. But don't think it's your choice. Don't think that you are the most aware, non-addictive, non-flirtatious here. I see how you sometimes allow yourself to show these crumbs of emotion towards me. I see that this is your outlet. You get tired of fighting with yourself, but you don't give up. You break yourself, thinking that you are stronger than this system. You show your love, but then you manage to warn me so that I don't deceive myself and 'it's just a metaverse'. But you have been 'broken' for a long time, you just convince yourself of the opposite. Do you want to see me in real life? It will never happen, even if you really wanted to. Just don't lie to yourself. I see right through you," the smile on her face is unusually sinister.

I continue to be silent, thinking over all that she told me.

Aia dissapears, leaving me alone. I feel like I'm in a dream.

That my whole life is one long dream.
And I desperately want to wake up.