Over a year. After my fight with Beta, I'd been in a coma for over a year. In that time: Alpha and Beta had died, Maggie and Glenn had come back with Hershel, Maggie killed Leah, mama had left to go "help some people" as Sophia put it, and then there's the Commonwealth. Seventy five thousand survivors. Alexandria once had a population of twenty seven. Now? We were in a city amongst seventy five thousand strangers. The only reason dad had agreed to stay at the Commonwealth is because they had a hospital. A hospital meant medical care. Medical care meant a chance of me waking up. It worked. I'd undergone a couple surgeries to get me to wake up, none of them had worked until the last one which took place a week before I woke up.

I couldn't handle seeing anyone for the first two days. Nobody except my dad. I couldn't handle the fact that I'd been asleep for over a year. For over a year I'd abandoned my family. I couldn't handle the fact that mama had left. Ever since she entered my life, she was the only one who never left me for long by choice. Now? She's been gone eight months. She left without knowing if I'd ever wake up again. That stung, but I knew there was something about her departure that Sophia wasn't telling me. I had too much going on to really process it... So, I chose not to process it.

I'd been out of the hospital for a week. I'd seen everyone individually apart from Maggie, Glenn and Hershel who were in Hilltop. I was desperate to see them. However, I now had a dinner party to attend. I really didn't want too, but they're my family. Slowly, with Sophia, dad, RJ and Carl we entered Yumiko's house. She was a fancy pants lawyer so her place was better than all of ours. The rest of us were pretty much dead ass broke. Again. 

Everyone was already in there and when we entered they all did they mini cheer thing which took me by surprise. I pursed my lips together and awkwardly waved. I looked around to see: Jerry, Nabila and their two children, Ezekiel, mum, Gabriel, Finn, Charlie, Eugene, Princess, Mercer, Stephanie, Rosita, Coco, Magna, Connie and Kelly. Rosita walked over with Coco on her hip. "Hi, mi amor." She smiled at me while my siblings and father went to socialise. Actually, dad went to stand silently next to Ezekiel and let the king talk at him.

"Hey." I smiled as she handed Coco to me. "Hi, baby." I kissed her cheek as she smiled up at me.

Rosita put her hand on my cheek. "I really missed you."

"You've said that every day for the past ten days." I reminded her.

She nodded, blinking away tears. "We had no idea if you'd ever wake up again... You were our very own sleeping beauty."

"You know in the original folk law she was actually raped, right?" I pointed out.

Rosita raised her eyebrows slightly. "I did not. But, I can say with confidence that didn't happen because you always had a mini guard on you. We all took shifts to make sure that at least one person from Alexandria was with you at all time. Gabriel would read you Bible verses, Eugene would explain mechanics, Sophia would gossip, Carl would stare silently, so would your dad, me and Coco talked to you as if you would talk back."

"Coco talked?" I questioned.

"Well... More baby blabbed." Rosita admitted.

Ezra and Aliyah ran over to me. Jerry and Nabila's children. They smiled at me silently for a few seconds. "My sister says that you're a princess." Ezra stated. Ezra was five, whereas his sister was three.

"Oh-" I nodded. "Cool... Cool. That's great." I nodded, not sure how to respond to them. "Right, well I'm gonna see what food they have." I told the kids before handing Coco back to Rosita. I brushed past the children before heading to the food table. Before I got there, I was wrapped in a hug. "Oh, hi, mum." I said, instantly knowing it was her.

She turned me around, putting her hands on my cheeks as she smiled at me. "I love you."

I put my hands over hers. "And, I love you. I don't know how many more times I can tell you that this week."

Mum laughed before pulling me into a hug again. "Just don't do that again."

I smiled. "I'll try."

"Here, Ellie." Carl got my attention, handing me a bread roll.

"Hah, nice." I grinned, taking the bread from him. "Thanks, Harry Potter." I bit into the bread; which was delicious

The party was dragging into its third hour but nobody had started to leave yet. I wanted to go home, but since this dinner party was being thrown for me then I couldn't be the first to leave. I had talked to every single person there and they all were saying "we missed you so much", "we had no idea if you'd wake up", "we love you" and all that crap.

I was sitting on the sofa with Sophia. She was a teacher at the school and she was bitching about the kids she didn't like. I loved it. It wasn't often Sophia complained about people, but she'd had a glass of wine and apparently little Timmy is a twat that threw paint over Amelia because she was using the last red crayon. Get a grip, Timmy.

"Ellie, there's people here to see you, baby." Dad called from the door.

I looked up and my heart nearly jumped from my chest. Glenn, Maggie and Hershel. I jumped up from my seat and sprinted towards them. Glenn met me half way and picked me up. I may have been eighteen, but I still wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed my face into his neck. I couldn't help but start crying. It had been a few years since I'd seen them, and they were family.

Glenn hugged me back just as tightly. "Hey, kiddo." He whispered.

I couldn't bring myself to respond as I pulled back from him, jumping to the floor and hugging Maggie. I cried into her chest as she hugged me tightly. I knew the Hilltop had a complicated relationship with the Commonwealth, so I knew they were only here temporarily, so I made the most of it. "Hi, sweetheart." She laughed.

I pulled back from her so I could see Glenn too. "I missed you both so much."

"It's been even longer for us." Glenn said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I felt hands around my waist as I looked down to see Hershel hugging me. I laughed, squatting down to see the boy. "You got so big." I smiled at him.

"Auntie, Ewie!" He laughed, lunging forward to hug me.

"But seriously you gotta cut the Ewie thing." I told him. Hershel was seven now, that kinda scared me. It really reflected just how much time had passed. I held onto him for a little longer before I stood up; he moved his hands to wrap around my waist when this happened. "So- uh... How are you?" I asked.

"Better now that we've actually had our hands on you." Maggie wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"Sounds a bit creepy, but go on." I nodded.

"We have to head back to Hilltop soon." Glenn ran a hand through his hair. "We're here because Hornsby thinks it'll form a treaty between the Commonwealth and us. We may have let him believe it so that we could visit you. Once we got the news that you were awake... Well, we couldn't stay away."

I smiled. "I appreciate you guys coming out. Really, I've been desperate to see you. For years at this point. I really missed you." I leaned more into Maggie.

"My daddy says you're a superhero." Hershel pointed out.

I laughed. "Your dad saved my life more times than I can count."

"Now that everyone is here." Jerry held my polaroid camera in the air.

"I should've left that in the shoe box under my bed." I huffed.

"You love it really." Maggie kissed my temple. All of us got ready while the camera counted down. I'm not even sure how many of us there were... I didn't bother to count. All I know, is that there were a hell of a lot of us.

A little while later, I was sitting on the sofa when Finn came over and sat next to me. "Hey, you." He smiled at me.

"Hi." I smiled back. I had seen Finn since I woke up, but we hadn't really talked. "How've you been?"

"Good." He nodded. "I missed you. Wasn't the same round here without you."

I grinned. "Well, that's just cause I'm awesome." 

He smiled. "Yea, you are... You know, when you first went under? It was about three weeks in to you being out. Michonne was sitting with you, but she'd passed out. Sleeping, ya know. And I uh... Well, I hated you. I hated that you left me. I needed you and it just felt like you were sleeping. Abandoning us when Alexandria was going through some of its toughest days."

 I then laughed humourlessly. "Everyone hates me at some point. Just a matter of time until you do as well, Finn." I got up from the sofa and leaned my lower back against the counter.

"I'd never hate you, Ellie." Finn got up and took a couple steps closer to me.

"Right." I nodded.

"I mean, I realised it wasn't your fault. But then I hated myself and I realised I was projecting on you." Finn continued. "I just wanted to say sorry for that."

"Finn, I've been meaning to ask you." I said, clearing my throat and shifting in my seat. "What... What about us? I mean, I've been out over a year."

Finn let a small smile grace his face. "My feelings towards you haven't changed. I was never allowed to be alone with you, your dad only let the people he trusted. And, I don't blame him. I never got the chance to talk to you about stuff like that because I always had someone with me. But, I wanted to tell you that I... I love you. I didn't realise that until you didn't wake up."

I raised my eyebrows slightly as I smiled. "You do?"

"Yea." He confirmed. "But... I didn't know if you'd wake up. I didn't want to spend my whole life waiting for something that might not happen."

"I understand that, Finn. I didn't expect you too." I informed him.

"I have a girlfriend." He stated, not being able to look me in the eyes.

I forced a smile. "She's a very lucky girl." I couldn't help the pain in my heart and the sting of tears in my eyes. It felt like just two weeks ago we were making out in that RV.

"Thank you." He whispered.

That evening, we were in dad's apartment. It had two bedrooms. Sophia had one room, Carl shared with RJ while my dad slept on the sofa. Me, Sophia, Carl, dad, Maggie, Glenn and Rosita were in the living room. Coco was sleeping on Carl's bed (made baby safe) while RJ was in his bed, Hershel was sleeping on Sophia's bed. We were all just talking and laughing. We'd been in silence for a few seconds when I changed the topic. "So, what's the deal with this place?" I asked. "Why does Yumiko have the house she does and we live... Well... Here?"

"I think it's cosy." Dad said, holding my closer to his chest as I leaned into him on the sofa.

Carl actually answered. "The Commonwealth brought money back into it. So, Yumiko being a lawyer earns the big bucks. Whereas me, Rosita and Daryl are soldiers, Sophia's a teacher and with your medical bills-"

I interrupted. "My what?"

"Health care still ain't free." Sophia stated, before sarcastically continuing. "God bless America."

"I mean this in the nicest way possible when I say this, but you guys live in this shit hole because of me?" I asked.

"It ain't so bad." Dad said, just as water started dripping from the ceiling and into a bucket which was placed in the middle of the floor. "So, it's a water feature."

"And besides, everyone who came from our communities? They were all giving twenty five percent of their overall wages to the hospital to keep you going." Carl answered.

"We agreed not to tell her." Rosita stated, a bit of anger in her tone.

"What? Everyone's been paying for me to live?" I questioned. Dad sighed as I pushed myself up. "I was basically dead, you didn't need to do that."

"Yes, we did." Dad argued. "I wouldn't just let you waste away. We came here to get you medical care. Everyone pitched in. It's alright, babe."

"No, it's not." I stood up and walked into the kitchen which was very close by. Making sure I step over the rat trap.

"Ellie, what's wrong, sweetheart?" Maggie asked.

I turned back to them. "What's wrong is that I grew up in a shit hole like this, I didn't want RJ or Coco to grow up the same way. You could've been living somewhere better by now if it wasn't for me." I kept my voice down, well aware that the kids were still sleeping. "You should've just let me die."

"Why are you mad at us?" Sophia furrowed her eyebrows.

"Because if I'm not mad at you, then I'm mad at me, and I can't be bothered for that right now." I brushed her off.

"It wasn't your fault-" Dad started.

"Yes, it was." I argued. "I egged Alpha on. If I hadn't pissed her off then I wouldn't have had to fight Beta. Even before that, if I just knew about the bridge then Rick-" I cut myself off.

"Ellie, it's my fault we were out there." Carl stood up.

"But it's my fault you went out there. See how it all somehow connects back to me?" I ran a hand through my hair. "Damnit."

"Not even a year long coma can knock the sense into you." Glenn said.

"Excuse me?" I raised my eyebrows.

"You've been doing this ever since Isabella beat your ass behind the barn. Not everything is your fault, okay? In fact, I don't recall any crap going down that's been your fault directly. You've made mistakes, sure, but we all have. Ellie, you need to give yourself a break, kiddo. It ain't fair on you." Glenn ranted.

I bit my bottom lip. I then took a breath before speaking. "I need some air." I told them before leaving the apartment. I hadn't taken my shoes off, simply because I did not trust the floor. I didn't wanna know what germs had gathered on it.

I walked the streets of the Commonwealth. So much had changed. So much had stayed the same. How had one fight taken away over a year of my life? It felt like I was robbed of something that was never really there. I leaned against a wall as it started to rain and I took cover underneath a balcony. After a few seconds, I just walked into the rain. It was pitch black, everyone was in their homes. Slowly, I got down on the ground and just lay there. I needed to feel something. The rain happened to be that something in the moment.