Humarap agad ako sa may-ari ng maliliit na brasong humapit sa bewang ko. Lumebel ako sa mukha ng bunso ko na pupungas-pungas pa ang mata saka ito kinarga at hinalikan ng marahan sa noo. Rei wrapped her arms around my neck as I transfer the pancake from the pan to the plate in front of me. Nilapag ko sya sa ibabaw ng kitchen island ng kusina namin at saka sinuklay ang kulot nyang buhok na medyo magulo ngayon. Napa ngiti ako ng makitang may panis na laway pa ng anak ko sa gilid ng pisngi, kaya marahan ko iyong tinanggal.

"Daddy.. M-morning.." She yawn after saying it.

"Morning. How was my princess' sleep?" I gave a warm smile as she look up at me. There's no smile in her lips like she always have every morning, something's off. I know it. "What's wrong, princess? Are you not feeling well?"

She shrug her head. Medyo kinabahan ako dahil baka may nararamdaman si Rei. She was fine last night, she was even playing with our neighbor. Kinapa ko agad ang noo nya, hindi naman sya mainit, hindi rin malamlam ang mga mata nya.

"I.. I miss Mommy.. Daddy h-hanapin natin si Mommy.." My heart started to turn into pieces as her tears are starting to form in the sides of her eyes. Her shady green eyes are red and her cheeks started to turn red. I ever don't want to see my children crying because of their mother. I never want this incomplete family, but we're having it.. Because of me. Ibang-iba talaga pag anak ko na ang nakikita kong nasasaktan. Kakayanin ko na mawala ng pang samantala ang asawa ko pero hindi ang sakit na nararamdaman ng mga anak ko. Don't get me wrong.. I lo- fuck this feelings!! I want my wife back for my children.. And.. And that's all.. "Nami-miss kona si Mommy.. Hinahanap na din sya ni Eve pag gabi, Daddy.. Ilang tulog na syang wala sa tabi namin." Humihikbing sabi nya. Niyakap ko sya ng mahigpit saka pilit na itinatago ang sakit dahil sa bawat hikbi nya ay para iyong kutsilyo na tumatarak sa puso ko.

"We will find mommy. I know we'll find her, just give daddy some time princess." Pag aalo ko sa kanya. Yumakap sya ng mariin sa akin, pag angat ko ng paningin ay nakita ko si Eve na naka tayo sa hamba ng pinto. There is pain in his eyes while looking at his sister. It hurts. I hurts of hundred times. "Come here, son."

Agad syang lumingon sa akin saka nag tutuluan ang mga luhang tumakbo sya palapit at yumakap sa bewang ko. Hindi ko na alam kung paano ko papagaanin ang loob ng mga anak ko. I love them so much, I was very happy when I learned they are mine. It was as if I won billions of dollars from casino. Pero tignan mo, masaya ako na kasama sila pero hindi ko alam na ganito na ang kinikimkim nilang sakit na wala sa tabi nila ang ina nila.. Erin has been hiding for five months now. Matatag nalang ako dahil iyon sa mga anak ko. Hindi ko na maharap ang kumpanya na meron ako dahil narin sa abala ako mag hanap sa asawa ko. I'm very thankful that my friends are with me and they are helping me to cover up my mess.

"I hope to see Mommy again." He sob between his words. "Baka umiiyak na si Mommy ngayon.. P-paano pag gutom na siya.. Tapos baka masakit na naman ang katawan nya.. Daddy.."

"Baka kasama nya si Tito Gail?" I gritted my teeth as I heard what Rei suggests. Imposible na makasama nya ang lalaking yon.. O pwede rin.

Sa isiping iyon, halos madurog ang puso ko. Huminga ako ng malalim at saka hinarap ang mga bata. Their green eyes are misty from tears. I smile to them. "Mommy's okay. We'll see her soon." Makikita ko si Erin, alam ko na hindi nya matitiis ang mga anak namin. Alam ko iyon. If I have to become selfish een more, I would do so. Mabawi ko lang ang asawa ko. "Ganito na lang, hindi ako papasok sa trabaho. Mamasyal na lang muna tayo. Okay ba yon?"

Napa ngiti na ako ng makita ang pag liwanag ng mga mata nila. Agad silang tumango, I put Rei on the chair and eat the pancakes with them. After that, we brush our teeth together and helped them to take a bath. I tried my very best to braid Rei's hair but I end up letting Eve do the rest. After preparing, ay umalis na kami. We went to church for the morning mass since its wednesday and then we head straight to the mall. There's a pang in my chest every time I'm seeing my children being ignorant in this kind of places. Ito ang napala nila sa pag kukulong ko sa kanila sa bahay. kaya pinipilit ko na punan ang lahat ng pag kukulang ko. Kung naniwala sana ako kay Erin nuon, maibibigay ko ang buhay na dapat na tinatamasa ng mga anak ko, pagka silang palang nila sa mundo.

Rei were so happy. She runs everywhere, and I follow her. I don't need to worry about Eve since I have personal securities to guard us, when we are in public places. She's squealing and laughing around like what she did the very first time I bring her in Disney Land. I couldn't help but to smile as I follow her.

"Princess be careful!" I remind her. Naka dress kasi sya at naka puting sapatos, medyo madulas iyon. Nag sisisi ako na iyon pa ang binili ko. Napa buntong hininga ako ng maupo sya sa tiled floor ng mall at saka ngumiti sakin ng matamis. "Marumi dyan, anak ko. Tumayo ka na." natatawang utos ko, ngumisi lang sya.

"Avis." I saw how Rei immediately stood up and smile to her brother. Even shrug and hold my hand. "Daddy, can you just hold her hand and don't let her wander around. She might get lost."

"I'm behave-- Look! Daddy is that you?" sinundan ko ng tingin kung saan papunta si Rei. I gave Eve a smug smile when awe is visible in his eyes as he look at me and the big poster on the Bench boutique near from where we are standing. I was only wearing a faded jeans half way to my buttocks, with my white brief. I also have 'tattoos' on my body in the poster. "Si Daddy talaga ito! Look at him, showing his body! Bakit may sulat ka dito Daddy, saka dito at dito din! Ang gwapo-gwapo naman ng Daddy namin!"

"Is that really you Daddy? The picture is so huge.." hindi parin maka paniwalang sabi ni Eve. Nang tingalain nya ako ay nakita ko ang mga kislap sa mga mata nya. "I want to be like that.. I mean, I wont let them put some ink in my body, but I.. I will.. try?" He wants to be a model!

"Yes, that is me." I put my hand on his head and gently pull him to me. His arms immediately wrapped around my waist. "I advertised the clothes I'm wearing in that brand. Pero mas magand akung hindi ka mag papalagay ng tattoos. I don't want that to any of you. Masama iyon, hindi na pupwede ma--"

"No Daddy, nawawala sya. Tignan mo, nakita kita kagabi na tulog. Wala ka naman sulat sa katawan." kunot noong putol sakin ni Rei. Her eyes seems so mad at me, iba talaga ang batang ito. "Don't worry Eve, mag palagay ka nya, ihe-help kita mag bura ng sulat."

Natatawang naiiling nalang ako. Inaya ko na silang dalawa na mag libot-libot pa. Tuwang tuwa ang kambal habang nag lilibot, namili din kami ng mga laruan sa toy store na andaanan namin. Eve wanted some books so we went to a book store. We were currently paying for the books when someone bump into Eve, mabuti nalang ay mabilis ang mga kilos ko at agad kong nasalo ang katawan nya bago tumama sa maliit na stall sa tabi ng cashier ang ulo nya. I waited for the man to apologize but instead he glared at my son and push him.

"What the fuck are you doing, fag!?" sigaw nito. Nag init ang ulo ko sa narinig ko. Not my son!

"Watch your word, bastard. You dared hurting my son?" gigil na sabat ko.Nang dumeretso ako ng tayo ang tumingala na sya sakin. My hands automatically gripped his collar and lift him up. "You better apologize to my son now, before my fist landed on your face."

"Gago ka ba? Paharang-harang iyang anak mo tapos ako pa ang pahihingian mo ng pasensya! Tanga ka ba!" singhal pa nito, I was about to punch him when I heard Rei shouted..

"Go Daddy, I know you can do it!" she shouted.. It felt like.. The raging blood in me calmed.

"Avis! Daddy, stop that. Okay l-lang po ako.. Wag ka makikipag away.." takot na awat skain ng anak ko. Marahas kong nilayo yung lalake sakin, inabot ko ang mga libro sa security na kamsama namin at saka hinayaan itong mag bayad. Nang maka labas kami ay agad humawak si Eve sa kamay ko. His eyes are misty. "Dady.. I-I'm sorry.. I'm sorry po.."

I hug him tight. "Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything.. I'm sorry. Are you okay? May masakit ba sayo?" umiling sya bilang sagot. Rei hug us too. Sabay ko silang kinarga saka hinalikan sa noo.

The whole the was really fun despite of the scene at the bookstore, the twins seems enjoying our promenade. Meron pa na nag laro kami sa Timzone, and then we watched cine to watch Coco. I don't know how I enjoyed it, but hearing my children giggles as the characters sang, napapantag na ako. After that, we ate in a fine dine restaurant. I want in Yellow Cab to try the foods, but the kids wanted something with vegetables.. They were looking for it since I've been feeding them foods that kids wanted in their age.. But seems, they really don't need that. Erin raised them.. well.

Around 5 o'clock we decided to go home. Ayaw pa sama ni Rei, I don't know where she get the energy of strolling around more, but really, I'm tired. I don't really walk that long. Not in my entire life! But my children made me. Totoo nga siguro, pag may anak ka na, makakalimutan mo na ang mga nakasanayan mo nuong binata ka pa, para sa kanila. And I don't regret it.

Pag dating sa bahay ay buhat ko silang dalawa. A maid open the door for us, and I'm shock who I saw, sitting at the couch. Her eyes are full of anger. I told the maid to bring the twins in their room and instructed them to change their clothes.

"Mom." I said.

I didn't budge even her slap echoed in the whole room. I look at her emotionless.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, collecting my senses. I sat on the single sitter couch.

"I should ask you that! What are you doing here? Why aren't you chasing your wife?" sigaw nya sa akin.

Napa tingin ako sa kanya. I can see that pain in her eyes. I know she really like Erin, she love her. Of course. My wife, she's lovable.. She's kind and everything a person would want to be with. Ayaw ko saktan ang ina ko, importante sya sa akin. I didn't think about the possibility na maari din nila malaman ito.

"Mom.. Let me exp--"

"Go get your wife back! Hindi ko alam kung ano at bakit nagka ganito kayo, but I want my daughter back, Rihan."

"I don't know where she is." I avert my eyes. I don't want my mother to see me in this mess.

"She's in Hacienda Montgomery."

---

Finally Graduated!