*Rihan's

I woke up feeling the numbness all over my body. I winced when I felt the stinging pain in my head as I try to get up from my bed. I rest my head in my arms, remembering how much liquor I had from the last night.

"I readied some pill over the side table. It will ease your hangover." I immediately look at the person. I saw Mira sitting in a navy blue single couch while his legs are crossed, holding a recipe book. His eyes went up to me, I went back to bed and cover the pillow over my face. "You were so wasted last night, even Sai couldn't stop you. You should get ready, your kids are waiting for you."

Shit! The twins must be waiting.

"Damn those liquors.." I grunt. "Have you seen my phone? I'll give a call to Rion. Baka sinasadista nya na ang mga anak ko." Sinenyasan ko sya kahit di ko sya nakikita. I heard him move then after a while may bumagsak sa gilid ko.

"I have my spare clothes. You can borrow it. Basta wag mo iwan na makalat yung kwarto, hindi pa ako makakapag linis ngayon araw."

Matapos iyon alam kong umalis na sya. Bumangon na ulit ako at ininom ang pill sa side table saka naligo. Inayos ko lang ng bahagya yung kama at saka lumabas. So I'm not in my house but in Mira's pad. Pag dating ko sa kusina ay may naka handa nang pancakes at hot chocolate. He was also wearing a blue flowery apron and a spatula on his right hand. He was singing when I sat in one of his high chair immediately grabbing one of the pancakes on the kitchen island.

"Are you okay?" The gentle voice from him made me stop from eating.

Again, I can feel my heart being teared into pieces. Sumandal ako sa inuupuan ko at saka napa hawak sa batok ko. Hindi ako makapag salita dahil alam ko, mababasag ang boses ko. Nakaka bakla kung sa harap nya ako mag iinarte lalo pa sa amin mag kakaibigan, si Mira ang pinaka mahilig mag pakita ng emosyon. Nawalan na ako ng gana kumain.

"I'm okay." Sagot ko.

"Of course you're not okay. You won't let yourself get wasted for nothing--"

"SO HOW WAS THE WASTED!" Saiu.

"Gracious! You're trespassing, bro." Mira.

"Leave me alone." Sabay iwas ko ng tingin. Tatayo na sana ako ng may pumasok ulit mula sa pinto ng kusina.

Just what the hell? Bakit narito silang lahat.

"Tea." Kei.

"How did you get in?" Mira

"Ask the expert." Saiu.

"Keira?" We both ask. He avert his eyes from us to the pancake he is already eating.

"Another serving, please." Kei.

The silence covered the whole kitchen as we look at him gracefully eating the pancakes and sipping the tea Mira just made. I shrug my head and look at my wristwatch. I stood up and about to walk out when Sai clung his arms around my neck.

"What?" Ako

"You see, we went all the way here just to fucking hear your stupidity about your wife. Hindi naman ako papayag na hindi makasagap ng chismis dahil sinuko ko ang dalawang date ko para mapuntahan ka." Nakakalokong ngiti ang binigay nya kasabay ng pag hatak sakin paupo.

"Sino ba nag sabing puntahan mo ako?" Iritang sagot ko.

"Ikaw kaya ang nag aya uminom." Mira. "Alam mo kung nag loloko ang asawa mo, diba dapat pag usapan nyo iyan? Hindi yung idadaan mo sa pag iinom."

"Anong drama ng apron mo? Mukha kang bakla dyan, pre." Sai

"You sound gay to me." patukoy ko kay Sai.

"This apron is a gift from my culinary student. It's cute and comfy." Mira answered with a smile plastered in his face. "Maybe next time, I should start making designs of cute aprons for future purposes? Sounds good, ayt?" my nose wrinkled as he said those words

*Mira's

"Have you seen my wallet?" I look at him and shrug.

There is this blank expression in his eyes. I've always known Rihan. We were childhood friends, we were like brothers and seeing him in this mess, it makes me want to do something for him. Rihan is a very sensitive person. He may be stoic sometimes, but he's my buddy and I know very well when he's in his fragile situation. I was watching him last night, I knew he was hurt, he was drunk and told us everything we should know. I look at the phone I'm holding, remembering what happened last night.

"Who is it?" kunot noo'ng pinunas ko ang kamay sa suot na apron. Nilista ko muna kung ilang grams ng asukal ang nilagay ko sa gagawin kong royal icing bago ako tulyang nag tungo sa pinto. Sino bang matinong tao ang pupunta dito ng dis'oras ng gabi? Pag bukas ko ng pinto ay lasing na Rihan ang nakita ko. What the hell? "What's the matter, are you alright?" sinubukan ko sya akayin pero umiwas sya.

"Let's go. Have a drink with me, I need someone to talk to." kahit di ako mag tanong alam ko naman na problemado sya. These past few weeks, he's been distant. Kahit si Kei ay alam iyon. Ewan na lang kay Sai, baka nambabae pa.

Hindi na ako nag tanong pa, I immediately clean my kitchen and put the icings I made in the fridge and then went out with him. I called Kei and Sai, when we get to Sai's club, they were already drinking some beers. Rihan, sat at the front table and gushed down the bottle of beer in one up. We were just watching him drowning himself, til he look at us. Those unwanted tears made me took a beer and drink it to moist my dry throat. I can't find a word.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I've been wanting to see her, but she's hiding from me. I'm so fucking stupid!" marahas nyang pinunasan ang luha at saka inubos ang hawak na beer at saka kumuha ulit.

"Tss." Kei.

"Who's she? Were you dating a fuckable bimbo? How about your wife? You have her in your house and you're fucking new, that was cool!" sinamaan ko ng tingin si Sai, parang wala lang sa kanya ang nangyayari. "What? I'm just kidding. Chill, bro."

"Stupid as before, Sai." Kei. He drank his brandy, as usual. "You deserve that mess Rihan I tell you."

"Kei!" pag babawal ko.

"I know.. I was.. I was so stupid! I went to their mansion and the caretaker said, she left to France. I don't know what to do, I tried to trace her there but she's nowhere to be found. I guess my wife hates me so much that she needed to go this far. Paano nalang ang mga bata, ano'ng sasabihin ko sa kanila? I don't want to hurt my children again. They are so fragile and innocent, they are too young to understand our situation even they are five."

I look away as his voice cracked at the end. I have this heavy feeling in my chest, seeing my friend in this mess. I don't want him to be this down. I haven't met Erin, Rihan don't talk about her and the twins. All I know was that he's married to a girl who's younger than him, that's all.  I knew him since twelve. He may be stoic sometimes, but he's really a sensitive person. He don't talk much about his life, but he's brother to me and I love my friend. The whole night, I watched him drowning himself to liquors, we tried to stop him, but maybe he really needed it.

"M-my wife.. She's the most understanding and.. and.. what was it?" he snap his fingers trying to remember a word to describe Erin. His eyes landed to me. "Can you try think it for me, Mira? It started in G and ended with S." My eyes widened. What the hell?

"Generous?" I ask, not really sure of my answer. He shrug and narrow his forehead.

"GullibleS" Saiu answered with a mock. He added S just to have the clue. This man is worst.

"No!!! E-Erin is not gullible.." he whisper.

"Of course she is, she married you. That's gullibility, bro."

"Fuck off!" I saw pain in his eyes, I avert my eyes and saw Kei looking at him. He shrug and demurely sip his brandy. "Erin is a very kind woman.. She love our family more than anything.. She sacrifice everything.. just.. just for us.. I want my wife back, it hurts knowing there's a possibility that we will never be together again.. Siguro ay pinag sisihan nya na minahal nya ang gaya ko.." I took a deep breath, and played my bottle of beer. "I don't w-want to loose her.. Ilang araw ko na syang hinahanp, mababaliw na ako.. I want my wifey back.."

"Whity? Aso mo? Diba black yung aso mo?" Saiu frowned looking at him puzzled.

"Nakikinig ka ba? Palibhasa nagkanda haba na ang leeg mo kakahanap ng babae sa baba." bara ko sa kanya. Umirap sya sakin saka lumingon ulit sa labas ng VIP room.

"Stupids." Kei talked.

I shrug trying to forget Saiu, madalas talaga di nag seseryoso ang lalaking iyon. Tumayo ako papuntang comfort room. After it ay hawak ko ang cellphone, I tried to text my secretary to inform her that I won't be going to my bakery in Batangas tomorrow. Eksaktong pag send ko ay nakita ko si Kei na naka tayo malapit sa pasukan ng comfort room.

"What?" ako

"My phone.," I saw him holding his phone, it is.. crashed. "Let me borrow yours. Need to give a call."

I hand it to him. "What happened?"

He look at me, "He thought McGuire called me."

"Who?"

"No one." ang labo nya talaga kahit kelan! Bumalik nalang ako sa VIP room at saka binantayan si Rihan na naka ubos na ang dalawang case ng beer ng mag isa, iba pa ang amin.

"Mira, I'm asking you." tinignan ko sya at saka yung hawak nyang throw pillow. "Yung wallet ko?"

"It's on the kitchen cabinet, nailagay ko duon kakamadali ko kagabi. You're car is at your office, I conclude. Uwian mo muna yung kambal, dahil may tumatawag sayo kanina, hinahanap kana nila kagabi pa." sabi ko sa kanya. Nakita ko kung paano lumambot ang ekspresyon ng mukha nya at saka tumango. I hand him my car key na kina kunot ng noo nya. "Dadaan ako sa bahay mo, ikaw na mag drive ng kotse ko."

He nod and left.

What should I do to help him? Sino ba yung McGuire?

*Rihan's

Dumeretso agad ako sa kwarto ng kambal, nakita ko'ng naka upo si Eve sa kama nya at sa kabila naman ay ang kama ni Rei. Agad itong lumingon sakin at ng makita ako ay tumakbo ito saka ako niyakap ng mahigpit. Pakiramdam ko ay nabawasan ang bigat sa dibdib ko dahil sa ginawa nya. Kinarga ko sya saka tinitigan, namamaga ang mga mata nya habang naka ngiti at naka titig sa akin. I love my boy so much, he's kind and sweet. Kaugali nya ang mommy nya, alam ko iyon.

"Did you cry?" masuyo kong tanong at saka naupo sa kama nya. Hinalikan ko ng marahan ang noo nya saka inayos ang buhok nya. "Bakit hindi ka pa tulog? I told to have siesta when you have no school.."

"Saan ka po galing, Daddy? Kagabi pa po ikaw namin hinihintay.. Hindi din po ako maka tulog kaya andito nalang ako sa kwarto para bantayan si Rei." mahina nyang sabi. Parang may pumiga sa dibdib ko ng sabihin nya iyon, tama, may nag hihintay pala sakin.

"I'm sorry, son. Daddy was busy, and I finished some works." nag iwas ako ng tingin habang sinasabi iyon. I felt him nod saka humilig sa dibdib ko, maya-maya ay himikab ito aka yumakap sakin ng mahigpit. I comb his hair. "I'm sorry.. For everything." I whisper.

"Mmhm.. It's okay.. You're here.. na.. po.." i hug him tight when his finally asleep.

Nilapag ko sya sa kama nya at saka kinumutan. Lumapit ako kay Rei na mahimbing na natutulog. She's hugging the stuff toy I bought for her when we were in Hong Kong. Naupo ako s atabi nya at saka pinaka titigan sya. My daughter is very beautiful, she her mother's face. The moment I realized that she is my daughter, I was really dumbfounded. She has this very expressive green eyes like mine, but her small red lips and white skin shouts everything, that my daughter will grew up as a very beautiful woman like her mother. My wifey. Rei is an energetic kid, she's smiles a lot and talks a lot. She loves being listened to and her brother supports her in everything she does, kahit na ba sabihin sa bahay lang naman sila at school.

I regret everything I did to my children. lalo pa at may mga nakikita akong bakas ng sugat sa mga balat nila. Alam ko na ako ang may gawa noon at habang buhay kong dadalhin ang bigat ng damdamin na iyon hanggang sa huling hininga ko. Mahal ko ang mga anak ko, aminin ko man o hindi, alam kong hindi ko sila kayang ipaako sa iba kahit nong di ko pa alam ang totoo. Ayaw ko na mawala sila skain dahil.. dahil anak sila ng abbaeng pinaka importante sa buhay ko. anak sila ng babaeng dahilan kung bakit naging kumpleto at masaya ako. kahit alam ko na sakit at hinagpis lang ang dala ko sa buhay nya.. Wala akong narinig na kahit ano kay Erin, kahit di na makatao ang ginawa ko sa kanya. Sa kanila. Nag papasalmat ako dahil, napalaki nya ng maayos ang mga anak namin. Iyon nga lang kahit nasa iisang bahay kami, wala akong naitulong para mahubog ang pagkatao nila.

I kiss her hair, I missed my baby so much.

Marami akong pag kukulang sa kanila. I can give the world to them kung gugustuhin nila.. Para sa ikasasaya nila, gagawin ko ang lahat. Lahat-lahat.