There wasn't much to do in the rehab center.

They would eat, sleep, maybe walk around or open the windows and read.

But there really wasn't much more to life there. Sometimes, it seemed that life didn't exist there at all. Everyone in the center was different from other people, dressed in the same white and blue shirts and pants but different from each other anyways. They didn't have life in them, their tired, lifeless eyes were all the same, and their quiet voices weren't heard. When they went out into the real world, they were looked at differently. And the rehab center was to prevent them from feeling different.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun would meet in the park or cafeteria, and then they would sit and talk, or maybe go to the stairway where it was more quiet. They couldn't find anything else to do, other than talk and look around.

But when they got permission to go to Chanyeol's room together, that changed a bit.

The first thing that Baekhyun saw was the guitar. And then he saw the keyboard plugged into the wall in the corner. Then his eyes went to the flowers on the windowsill. There were exactly seven vases filled with flowers of every kind, every color.

Chanyeol sat down and pulled out the guitar, "Do you know how to play?"

"Only a little bit of piano, and I can't play guitar at all."

"You know the song 'Creep'?"

"I've only heard it enough to know how to goes."

"Can you sing?"

Baekhyun stayed silent. He had loved singing, until his eating disorder took over. It had blocked out everything he loved before, and it became his only thought. He finally settled for an answer.

"Sort of."

Chanyeol went through the beginning, urging Baekhyun to join in. His heart longed to sing with Chanyeol but his head told him not to.

Out of embarrassment or just because he wasn't confident, Baekhyun didn't know which it was that made him stay silent.

Chanyeol finished and looked at Baekhyun who lowered his head.

"Do you know any other songs?"

"I know one called 'Falling Slowly'."

Chanyeol started playing his guitar almost as if he had been waiting to play, and nodded his head at Baekhyun mouthing, "It's okay, come on."

Maybe the situation was a bit cliche, like it had come straight from a romance novel, and maybe it was a bit cringe-worthy. But Baekhyun started to sing, and Chanyeol harmonized.

Chanyeol smiled the entire time, whereas Baekhyun closed his eyes.

The song had more meaning to him than it did for most people.

And maybe it hurt, just a bit, to sing it again.

But he felt like he forgot about that pain for once because he was with Chanyeol.
-----
"How did you end up in here?" Baekhyun asked the question suddenly, and while Chanyeol could have been taken aback, he wasn't. He might have been expecting the question all along.

"Someone pulled me away from the balcony of a building when I tried to jump," his voice was quieter than usual, "If it hadn't been for them, I would have been found dead in a dumpster. And of course, they decided to send me somewhere to get better."

"This isn't a place to get better," Baekhyun's eyes darted around the stairs, "It's where they try to make you forget. Some people do forget, they're the lucky ones, and other people just learn to hold back."

"They mean for you to get better," Chanyeol added, "But you can't get better in the end."

"Maybe they take away your life altogether, hide your feelings and emotions and heart somewhere deep inside, so that you're able to hold back."

"But that's what hurts the most."

They understood each other, and they saw each other as normal human beings instead of teenage patients being treated for depression.

They knew that you could be a normal human being that was treated for depression but they also knew being treated for depression meant not being considered as a normal human.

Until you learn to forget, or until you learn to hold back, you are broken. Twisted and squeezed in the heart until you're nearly gone.

But the question for these boys was would you rather be gone or suffering? Dead or dying?

Perhaps the answer is more obvious than it seems. ||