Sure enough, it really didn't take more than a few months for Baekhyun to gain weight.

He started to eat on his own, without coaxing from someone else.

And before he knew it, he was left with three weeks until he would get to leave.

He and Chanyeol were in the library when Baekhyun told him.

"So when should I give you those eleven reasons?"

"Anytime really, but the sooner the better."

"I'll give it to you on the day you leave."

"You just contradicted exactly what I said," Baekhyun smiled, "But okay."

"But Baek?" Chanyeol started, "Are you still planning on..." He said it cautiously.

Baekhyun looked down at his feet as Chanyeol sighed, "You are, aren't you?"

Baekhyun turned to look at Chanyeol now, and he shifted in the chair awkwardly.

"Will these eleven reasons be able to change your mind?"

Baekhyun felt tears well up in his eyes, as he swallowed hard. He blinked once, twice, three times. And then the tears were back to where they had come from. He stayed silent, because the answer was caught in his throat and wouldn't come out.

"Read them. Okay?" Chanyeol said, "Read them, whether they're able to change your mind or not. And then think about it. Think about me. Then you can decide again then, okay?"

Baekhyun nodded half heartedly. Maybe it was a lie, agreeing to read the reasons, but then maybe the lie would become the truth later on.
-----
"You really look a lot better now," Chanyeol took a seat next to Baekhyun on the bench of the piano. It was raining that afternoon, and since the music room didn't have windows, they could only hear the rain fall.

"I don't know if I feel better," Baekhyun replied.

"What do you mean?"

"Being suicidal doesn't mean wanting to die all the time. For me, it was more like... the horrible feeling in my gut and my heart that the world would be better off without me, and that I would be better off without the world," Baekhyun kept his eyes focused on the floor, "I still feel like that. And I'm terrified that it won't ever go away."

"But how is it going to go away when you're thinking about it all the time and worrying about it every minute of the day?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Baekhyun said, "If you're implying that I should just forget about it-"

"I'm just saying that the best way to get rid of that horrible feeling is to not think about it," Chanyeol smiled, "That's all."

"You say it like it's so easy."

"I've seen you happy a few times," Chanyeol said, "Can I see you like that a few more?"

And then, Baekhyun smiled.

It was instant, small, vague, but brighter than anything.

"There it is," Chanyeol said, "There you are."

"You're straight, right?"

"I'm straight," Chanyeol contradicted, "I just don't know how to love."

"What?"

"At least not anymore."

"You know, I think I've already told you this before, but you seem so much more normal than me. You smile, you laugh, you crack jokes all the time..." Baekhyun sighed, "I know it might come out as offensive, but you seemed so happy."

"That was after I met you."

Six words.

Six words was all it took.

And Baekhyun smiled again.

In fact, it was the last three words that did the trick.

Because Baekhyun felt the same way.

He had had a lifetime of tears and broken hearts.

And one fateful afternoon was all it took to change everything. ||