09: HIV: NOT JUST A DISEASE IN AFRICA

« i don't own emotion; i rent. »

"I STILL DON'T see why we have to do this," Allison says as she follows Lydia onto the soccer pitch.

"Because," Lydia turns to give Allison an annoyed look before continuing to make her way to the stands. "Brad is on the soccer team. I want to watch him play. It's called moral support."

Allison rolls her eyes. "You want to watch him play so that you can sort out where the two of you can have sex after school."

 "Moral support," Lydia repeats. "He'll see me there, and straight away he'll be breaking his legs trying to run as fast as he can to impress me."

"Whatever," she's grown bored with watching Lydia going through a different boy every month. On the bright side, Lydia hasn't tested positive for Chlamydia yet, so it's all good. "I don't understand why I have to come," she says.

"You don't," Lydia says simply. "Go find someone else to hang out with."

"Like who?"

"Toby?"

 "...who is right there," Allison finishes glumly, catching sight of the tall boy looking similarly bored out of his mind. 

"Well," Lydia says lightly. "At least the two of you can moan together about being dragged to soccer practice by best friends." She hesitates, then adds, as though it's a disclaimer: "Although I didn't drag you."

"I hate this," Allison says in reply.

"Allison," Lydia begins to find a place on the stands. "I love you. But I don't love your whining. So, as I have already said, you are very welcome to find someone else to spend your time with. I, on the other hand, have some important Brad-related business to attend to."

"I'm going to talk to Toby," Allison retorts, and if there's a hint of childish jealousy in her voice, well, that's neither here nor there.

"Good for you," Lydia is already scanning the pitch for Brad, and it pricks at something in Allison.

"You know," she says, fully aware that what she's about to say is mean and unnecessary; "maybe you should stop sleeping with any and every guy you find who's the complete opposite of Emmett."

Then she stalks off before Lydia can reply, finding a place next to Toby.

"Move over," she tells him by way of greeting.

"Hello to you too," he responds, but there's no trace of ill-feeling in his voice – instead, Allison observes, it's more an exasperated fondness. "What, did the dream team break up for the day?"

"Huh?" she asks stupidly. In response, Toby gestures to Lydia, who has their back to them. Even from where she's sitting, and with only a view of her back, Allison can tell that her final words to Lydia have hit home. Already, she can feel the guilt beginning to form in her stomach.

"I guess so," she says shortly. Toby, bless him, seems to catch onto the hint, not pushing further. "Which is more than I can say for you," Allison observes.

"Huh?" Toby repeats her words, then, understanding her: "Oh. Yeah. Anything for my best buddy," he says, the sarcasm barely detectable in his voice.

"We're in the same boat, then," she murmurs (because even if she just kind of really pissed Lydia off, the fact is she's sat here because of her), eyes involuntarily finding Daniel on the pitch. She watches him line up for the next drill, and is caught off guard when he turns to face the stand and gives a small wave. Allison is about to wave back when a rustle of movement from next to her catches her eye. She turns and watches Toby give Daniel (possibly rather sardonic) thumbs-up. She deflates slightly, moving her eyes back to the pitch and berating herself for even considering that Daniel would be waving at her, when suddenly she sees the boy in question break out into a wide smile as their eyes meet.

Hey, Daniel mouths, still grinning widely. Allison tries to keep her heartbeat from stuttering.

Hi, she returns, sincerely hoping her cheeks haven't gone too pink. He offers her another smile and pairs it with a wave that makes her hands go a little shaky, before turning back to his drill.

"This is the most boring thing I've watched in the past three years," Toby mutters more to himself than anyone else, jerking Allison out of the trance she's slipped in since Daniel waved at her.

"Tell me about it," Allison returns, but now, watching Daniel kick the soccer ball cleanly into the back of the net, she isn't all too sure she means it.

✦

"Daniel!"

It must be quite an interesting thing to witness, both Toby and Allison standing up and shouting Daniel's name in unison when he falls heavily onto his wrist and doesn't get up. The two of them share a look before immediately mobilising themselves, Allison making a beeline for the stairs of the stand and Toby going for a more direct approach, vaulting over the seats.

"Dude," Toby manages through heavy breaths when the both of them reach Daniel, who is now surrounded by the entire soccer team. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Daniel grits out through clenched teeth, a sign Allison knows from experience means he's the complete opposite.

"Okay, move over, let me have a look!" The coach moves through her team like Moses through the Red Sea, crouching down next to Daniel and taking his wrist in both of her hands.

Toby and Allison have both been shoved backwards by the remainder of the team moving out of the way, and she can barely make out the coach examining Daniel's wrist with studious care. Her heart speeds up with concern.

"Oh God," she chokes out quietly at the sight of another grimace of pain on Daniel's face. "What if..."

"No what ifs," Toby orders before she can finish her sentence. "Those never work out."

She turns to face him. "But what if it's, like – "

Toby claps a hand over her mouth with a stern look. "What did I just say?"

"Right," she breathes out when he removes his hand. "No what ifs."

The shrill shriek of the coach's whistle makes them both spin around quickly. "All of you, back to your drills! We aren't here to play around!"

As the team begins to disperse with mutters of concern about Daniel and furtive glances in his direction, the coach walks quickly towards Toby and Allison.

"Sprained wrist," she says shortly. "Martin, can I trust you to get him to the nurse's office in one piece?"

Toby nods quickly. "Yes, I mean, obviously, of course, I – "

"Go with him," the coach tells Allison in a dry tone of voice. "Just in case this one faints on the way."

Allison nods, looking over at Daniel, who is making his way towards them and clutching his hand. As soon as he reaches them, Toby strikes, beginning a lengthy lecture as the three of them head to the nurse's office.

"Would it hurt you to be a little more careful?" Toby asks shrilly.

"I guess not," Daniel says amiably. "Sorry, mom." At this, he turns and winks at Allison, who tries desperately to keep her facial expression one of vague normality.

"Don't act like I'm overreacting!" Toby, oblivious to Allison's internal conflict, has not paused in his tirade. "You scared us to death! Allison, tell him!"

"Uh..." She wasn't really expecting to be called upon to speak during Toby's monologue, has no doubt that she looks very much like a deer caught in headlights.

"Aw, Allison. You were scared for me?" Daniel teases, wearing an easy grin.

How could I not be? she thinks to herself. Out loud, she gives a weak, "Well, yeah."

"See?" Toby says with what is bordering on fury, clearly not picking up on Allison's discomfort. "You can't go round letting yourself get bruised and battered at every other soccer practice! There are people who care about you being alive!"

"I'm sorry, Toby," Daniel says, clearly going for a sincere approach, despite the words coming out as more tired than anything else. "I'll try and be more careful next time."

"Good," he says, seemingly appeased. By now, they've reached the nurse's office. The nurse herself takes one look at Daniel, rolls her eyes, and ushers him into the medical room.

(Allison is pretty sure he is her most frequent patient.)

Her and Toby watch him follow the nurse, then turn to the nondescript seats pushed up against the white walls of the office.

"We should probably get back to class," Allison murmurs.

Toby smirks and shakes his head, something she wasn't quite expecting from him, considering he's an honour roll student. "And waste this perfect opportunity to not go to class?" he replies. "I don't think so." With that, he sits down in one of the chairs, taking a moment to pat the one beside him.

Allison hesitates, then figures he's right, sitting down in the seat he's offered her. The two of them sit in what is a mostly comfortable silence, and Allison takes the opportunity to study the office – or, more accurately, the posters decorating the office.

CHLAMYDIA: SILENT AND DEADLY. Did you know Chlamydia is symptom-less? Don't take a chance. For your free pee-in-a-pot test, contact –

She shakes her head, letting her eyes roam to the next one. FLU ISN'T AS HARMLESS AS IT SOUNDS, it reads. Make sure you're safe this winter.

SPREAD LOVE, NOT GERMS. Make sure to wash your hands after eating, sneezing, and going to the toilet.

Allison wrinkles her nose, and is about to investigate the poster with the diagram of female genitals on it, when Toby elbows her in the side.

"What?" she frowns.

"Look," he points at a poster on his side of the room. HIV, it says in block capitals. NOT JUST A DISEASE IN AFRICA.

For a moment, she wonders stupidly if he's making some vague and rather crass reference to her night with Rueben, which is now three weeks behind them. She glares at him. How did he find out, anyway? And it's not like they didn't use protection –

"It's like in Rent," Toby says thoughtfully. Allison lets the glower slide off her face.

"Right," she says, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Of course it is."

"Y'know," he starts, a suspiciously light tone to his voice, and Allison immediately knows what's coming. "Rent is one of the musicals on our list."

"Is it, now?" she deadpans,  subconsciously dodging the topic.

"It is."

"That's nice."

"It is."

"Toby."

"Don't look at me like that!" he protests, eyes wide. "We're going to have to watch it some time!"

"Some time," Allison repeats. "Some time doesn't equate to soon."

"It's either that or The Lion King," Toby retorts with a decisive tone to his voice, leaning back into his seat and folding his arms across his chest.

At the mention of another Disney musical, Allison knows she's lost. "Fine," she relents grudgingly. "We can watch Rent next."

Toby beams. "You're gonna love it!"

"You say that every time."

"Well, it's gotta be true for one of them, right?"

Allison doesn't bother to dignify that with a response.

✦

"I brought food this time, since I know you won't have," Allison announces as she kicks off her shoes at the door, rustling the plastic Walmart bag as though to verify her statement.

"Well, that's where you were wrong," Toby retorts, crossing his arms. "Because I baked us cupcakes."

She arches a brow. "Cupcakes?" she repeats, and if there's a hint of disbelief in her voice, well, it's kind of justified.

"Yes, cupcakes," Toby says, evidently catching the incredulity in her voice. "Remember what we said about my hidden talents?"

"So, let me get this straight," Allison walks further into the house. "You sing, you dance, you act, you're on the honour roll, you can make doughnuts, and you bake."

"You're on the honour roll too," Toby answers, heading into the kitchen. She follows him in, the cupcakes Toby has told her about catching her eye immediately from where they are on the counter top. They're even frosted in different colours, albeit slightly clumsily.

"That's not even relevant," she tells him.

"Well, yeah, but I was hoping it would distract you," he bends over to take out a large plate from one of the cupboards, then proceeds to load the cupcakes onto them.

"Nice try," Allison dumps the plastic bag filled with junk food onto the counter top where the cakes have just been, figuring it can be saved for another day, assuming Toby's cupcakes actually taste good.

"I've already put the DVD in," he chirps, setting down the plate on the coffee table and flopping onto the couch that Allison has already grown extremely familiar with. "Plus, did you notice we got the heating fixed?"

"Well done, Toby," she says dryly. "I'm proud of you."

Toby beams, grabbing the remote and pressing play. "Wanna get started on those cupcakes?"

✦

"I feel like sex has been a running theme in most of the musicals we've watched thus far," Allison observes around a mouthful of her third cupcake (they are, it turns out, pretty damn good – although she wouldn't inform Toby of this if it were the last thing she did).

"Rent isn't just about sex," Toby says, half upset, half disgusted. "Is that all you've gotten from it so far?"

"No," Allison says thoughtfully. "I know that, like, half of them are homosexual."

Toby removes his eyes from the screen briefly to give her a withering look.  She hides her amusement behind another bite of cake.

"We should've watched the Hollywood Bowl version of this," Toby sighs after some time.

"What's special about the Hollywood Bowl version?"

He smiles wickedly. "It has Nicole Scherzinger and Vanessa Hudgens in it. And they are hot."

"You're disgusting," Allison says matter-of-factly.

"Uh," Toby raises his eyebrows. "I am a young, hormonal, heterosexual male. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to beautiful women."

"Right," she says.

"You're one to talk!" he defends. For the second time in the past week, Allison thinks immediately of Rueben.

"What's that meant to mean?" she asks, her tone self-protective.

"I've heard you and Lydia talk about Matt Lanter," he scoffs. Allison deflates slightly in relief, before remembering she should probably retaliate.

"Yeah, well, Matt Lanter's an exception," she informs him. "He defies every law of the universe  with his beauty."

"Okay," Toby snorts. "Stop talking now, this is the best part."

"Toby, you say that for every – "

"Ssh!"

✦

"Well, that was depressing," Allison announces as the credits roll.

"Depressing?" Toby whirls round to face her. "It isn't depressing! It's inspiring! It's moving! It's rousing! These musicals are the ones that make us into better people, Allison!"

"Right," she nods. "Inspiring. Totally."

"I'm glad you agree," he smiles widely. "You can be inspired on the video log."

"Can't you just do this one solo?" Allison whines whilst simultaneously eyeing up the plat of cupcakes and considering whether or not to take another one.

"I could," Toby says in a pensive tone. "But," he decides, "that wouldn't be fair. On you."

"On me?" Allison repeats, disbelief evident in her tone.

"Well, yeah," he says, getting up and walking across the room to retrieve the video camera. "We're doing this together. If you have opinions on stuff, you should get to talk about them."

"And what if I told you I don't have an opinion?" she raises an eyebrow.

"I'd tell you to stop bullshitting," Toby replies without missing a beat, grinning broadly. "You're Allison. You have an opinion on everything. You just don't always show it."

Allison purses her lips, wondering if Toby can see through everyone with such ease or if it's just her.

"You're doing it again," he points out. She's jerked out of her thoughts, and narrows her eyes at him.

"What?" she retorts, and it maybe comes out a little snippier than she'd intended, her voice stretched taut with annoyance – mainly at herself, for clearly being so readable.

"Forming an opinion but not voicing it," Toby says, seemingly unbothered by Allison's rudeness and unaware of her inner turmoil. The smile is gone from his lips, but she can still catch the knowing look in his eyes.

"Just start the video," she huffs. He has enough tact to oblige without comment.

✦

Whilst passing through the auditorium one lunchtime, Toby comes across someone he'd never really expected to be voluntarily sat in any of the seats ever, let alone by themselves when they most likely have something far better to do.

Lydia is sat in a seat at the very front, knees folded up to her chest and staring directly ahead of her. Toby hesitates for a few moments, before deciding to join her.

"Hey," he says simply, slipping into the seat on her left.

"Toby," she murmurs, giving him a half-hearted nod in greeting. There's a brief pause, before she clears her throat. "Sorry," she apologises. "Forgot this was your territory, as it were."

Toby lets out a laugh. "I think I can let it slide this time," he teases. "Not that there's many people hanging out in my territory anyway."

Lydia turns, giving him a questioning look. "This school is full of drama geeks," she points out.

He shrugs. "Drama geeks only really come here when we're putting a show on. Otherwise, it's pretty much just me."

"You come here alone?"

"When I want to be alone, yeah," Toby says lightly. "This place is empty pretty much all the time."

Lydia makes a humming noise which he assumes is one of agreement, but doesn't say anything. They sit in silence for some time, and Toby takes the opportunity to study Lydia carefully.

It's some time before he asks. "Are you and Allison still – "

"Not communicating? I guess you could say that," Lydia exhales softly, resting her chin on her knees. "We don't really do fighting that much," she tells him. "But when we do, it's not fun." She lets out a laugh with no hint of amusement in it at all. "It's always about the stupidest things, as well," she observes.

"Whatever she said to you, she didn't mean it," Toby informs her.

"How do you know that?"

"Lydia," he gives her a smile. "I'm pretty sure it would be difficult to find a person Allison loves more on the planet than you. You two are, like, joined at the hip. All the time."

Lydia's eyes soften and her brows crease in thought. "Okay," she says quietly. She looks up at him, her expression this time one of consideration. "You're good at this," she tells him in a thoughtful tone of voice. "Had experience?"

"Experience?" Toby repeats, hoping sincerely no emotions other than utter contentment slip into the smile already on his face. "Not really."

He thinks perhaps Lydia knows it's a lie. Either that, or her fingers find his wrist to wrap around in the quiet darkness of the auditorium out of impulse.

_________________________________________________________________

a/n: i updated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  whatchu think of allison and lydia's lil spat and whAT IS TOBY HIDING??// find out on the next episode of........................

im just kidding but tell me what you think! holla @ me in the comments section

- mariam

ps: y'all are tellin me that toby and lydia are playing tonsil hockey but i dont see where or when that took place so please dont think it did because it didnt they were just havin a nice friendly chat in the auditorium