03: THE CHURCH HYMNS COULD USE SOME JAZZING UP

« ya gotta work it, ladies! pray it to the balcony! »

IN ALLISON'S FAMILY, Sunday has always meant one thing and one thing only.

Church.

She's never pegged herself as a particularly religious person, but, well, her mother is, and quite honestly, even if she wasn't forced into attendance, Allison would've most likely gone anyway. It's been too many years, too many Sundays. She'd sit around and let the guilt fester and not manage to get anything done until she'd at least gone to confession. Or something.

So here she is, humming along to Praise My Soul the King of Heaven kind of half-heartedly and mostly focused on getting through yet another Sunday without incident.

 (She may feel guilty about not going to church, but that doesn't mean she enjoys it. It's quite possibly one of the most boring experiences she ever has to go through. Amazingly, it gets even more boring every week. Honestly, that's the only real miracle here.)

She's close to drifting off when she hears a booming tenor voice join the masses, and blinks in surprise.

"Angels help us to adore him! Ye behold him face to face!" 

Allison blinks. Sounds like someone's a little overenthusiastic, she thinks to herself wryly. Well, at least his voice is good.

"Sun and moon bow down before him!"

Allison's eyes narrow in suspicion. This church is local, and she knows pretty much every regular. There is not one regular who is enthusiastic and sings in tune (Mrs. Ullman thinks she's the next X Factor champion, but the cold, hard truth is, she really isn't).

"Dwellers all in time and space!"

She shoots a quick glance at her mother, who is fixated on her hymns book, then begins to send searching looks behind her, craning her neck slightly to catch sight of this mystery singer.

"Praise Him! Praise Him!"

A gut feeling is beginning to make its way into Allison's stomach now, because really, there is only one boy she knows who would be enthusiastic enough about hymn singing to blast out the chorus at around the same volume as a foghorn, without actually sounding like a foghorn.

"PRAISE HIM! PRAISE HIM!" 

Allison winces. Yep, only one guy.

"PRAISE WITH US THE GOD OF GRACE!"

Her and Toby are going to have a very long conversation later, Allison thinks to herself, about what is a good and decent volume to sing hymns at in church. 

Because it has to be Toby, doesn't it? she realises as they sit down and the first lector begins her readings. There is no one else in the entire county of New York - nay, the entire city of New York - that it could be. Toby Martin is, after all, one of a kind.

(She hasn't decided yet whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Probably the latter.)

Between readings, Allison seizes the opportunity to glance behind her, and her suspicions are confirmed at the sight of Toby's tall frame in between that of two elderly women, hunched over a prayers book with an intensity that only he could manage.

 She assumes this is Toby's first time at their church. Possibly Toby's first time at church ever.

Mass runs considerably smoothly after that, if Allison turns a blind eye to Toby singing all the hymns louder than the entire remainder of the congregation put together, as well as whispering very loudly during each reading to the elderly women next to him about various kids from school dotted around the church.

"That's Allison," she catches his whisper at one point, which can practically be heard echoing in the church. "She's my partner in English. I really like her. As a friend, I mean. Although I think she kinda hates me."

Her mother had also heard him, and even turned to raise an unimpressed eyebrow at Allison, as though saying, really? You interact with this boy on a regular basis? I thought I raised you better than this, sweetie.

As people file out of the church, Allison waits by the door for Toby to exit, grabbing his arm when he does and ignoring the yelp of surprise (and possibly pain) when he does. 

"Ouch, that really - oh, hey, Allison!" he grins, big and wide as usual. Allison does not return the gesture, as usual.

"What exactly are you doing? Actually, let's start from the beginning - what are you doing here?"

"I was in church!" he chirps. "Didn't you see me? I saw you!"

"Oh, I saw you, alright," she returns grimly. "And I sure as hell heard you."

"I was singing extra loud to make up for the two women next to me," he tells her in a conspiratorial tone of voice. "They weren't singing at all."

"Yeah, well, you made up for practically the whole freakin' church," she replies, rolling her eyes.

Toby gasps. "Allison!" he cries. "You're not meant to swear in church!"

Allison stares at him. This guy was serious? He actually was for real? "Okay, firstly, I didn't even swear," she informs him. "Secondly, we're not inside the church!"

"We're still on church-owned property."

"It's not the same!"

"It so is."

"Toby - !" Allison starts, before halting her words with a sigh. She is clearly fighting a losing battle. She takes a deep, deep breath. "Okay, Toby," she says as she exhales - yet another sigh. "Whatever. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Toby smiles benignly. "I'm not religious anyway."

Allison gapes.

Then she hits Toby. Hard.

"Ow!" he screeches, clinging to his arm and rubbing it frantically to ease the pain. "What was that for?!" 

  "For being a dick."

"How was I a - "

"You were. Admit it and move on."

"No!"

"Fine. Don't admit it."

"I won't!"

"Okay."

"Ugh!" Toby glares at her. "You're mean."

"You're attached to me."

"Says who?"

Allison smirks. "Says you to the two old ladies who were sat next to you, approximately," she makes a show of checking her watch, "twelve minutes ago."

"You heard me say that?" Toby looks horrified. 

"Toby, the entire congregation heard you say it. I'm surprised people outside didn't hear it."

"They heard me talking in church!" he says panickedly. "I'll never be allowed to come again!"

She blinks with the realisation that Toby is in fact worried that people heard him talking in church, rather than being worried about Allison hearing him talking about her.

Huh. Weird.

She frowns at him. "Why do you want to come again!"

"The hymns, duh!" Toby looks at her like she's stupid. "Plus Agnes and Vivian are really nice," he adds as an afterthought.

"The hymns?"

"Yeah! Any excuse to sing, I'm there! Although, they could use some jazzing up..."

"Jazzing up?" Allison is beginning to feel very much like a parrot, but she can't help it. Every word that comes out of this kid's mouth is unbelievable.

"Yeah! Like, we should totally start a gospel choir here!"

And not in a good way.

"You know, Toby, somehow I think the church is good without one."

"Why not, though?" Toby's eyes are beginning to brighten in a way that Allison knows means only that very bad things will happen very soon. "We could sing and people could give money to the church! Like in Sister Act!"

"Sister Act."

"Yeah!" He grabs her arm suddenly. "That reminds me! Sister Act is one of the musicals on our list!"

"And...?"

"Wanna watch it?"

"What, now?"

"Have you got anything better to do?" Toby asks. 

Allison thinks it through. She hasn't. She did all her homework yesterday, at Lydia's. She guesses there's a few other people she could hang out with, and a lot of people who want to hang out with her ('I am Popular Because My Best Friend is Queen of the School: Allison Reed's Story', is brought to you by sponsor Lydia Huntington), but neither is worth the exertion just to blow Toby off. Besides (and she will never ever admit it to him), his company is kind of...okay. Better than most, anyway.

 ✦

Toby Martin's car - well, actually, it's a truck, which she definitely wasn't expecting - is by far one of the cleanest she has ever been - second only to Lydia's - and it creeps Allison the fuck out.

Boys are meant to be messy, aren't they? Like, have McDonalds bags strewn in the backseats? A football? Possibly dirty underwear? 

One thing's for sure, air freshener is definitely not the norm. 

"You okay?" Toby is looking slightly concerned, possibly because Allison is still standing next to the open passenger side door with an open mouth. She blinks.

"I...yeah," she says. "Your car is...nice," she says after they're both seated and Toby is backing out of his parking space.

"Hm," Toby doesn't reply for a moment, focusing on getting out on the road. When they do, he gives Allison an amused glance. "You were expecting it to be covered in trash?"

"Well...kinda," she admits. "I mean I remember - "

"Daniel's car being a complete mess?" he quirks a brow, but keeps his eyes fixed on the road. "Uh huh."

Allison slumps in her seat with a sigh. "Am I really that predictable?" she mumbles.

"Hm?"

"Is all I talk about Daniel?"

"Not all you talk about," Toby says in a thoughtful tone. "But he is quite a frequent topic when one has a conversation with you."

"Well, musicals are a frequent topic in a conversation with you," she replies.

"True," Toby concedes. "But I haven't broken up with musicals. I will never break up with musicals. Musicals and I are partners for life."

"I'll bet they are," she snorts.

 "Hey!" Toby says. "Don't roll your eyes like that, Allie! By the end of this project you're gonna love musicals just as much as I do. We'll be like...a threesome! Kinda."

Allison hesitates, unsure what to comment on - the fact that he called her Allie again, or that he'd effectively suggested the two of them have a threesome with an abstract noun. 

"Okay..." she trails off. "No." She decides to leave it at that, concluding that the monosyllable effectively summarises her feelings on every word that has come out of Toby's mouth in the past five minutes.

"C'mon, Allison, where's your enthusiasm? This is gonna be great!"

"Toby," she groans, letting her head fall back onto the headrest of the seat. "Just stop."

"But - "

"No."

"Allis - "

"Stop."

He surrenders into silence with an upset pout on his face. Part of Allison feels a twinge of guilt, but the rest kind of...doesn't. She has become immune, she realises, to the puppy dog eyes of Toby Martin.

(Well, maybe there's a tiny part of her that still falls for them, but overall? Allison congratulates herself on a job well done.)

 ✦

"How come your parents are never home?" Allison frowns, kicking off her shoes in the doorway.

Toby shrugs. "Dad works long hours."

"Even on Sundays?"

"Oh, yeah, he loves his work," Toby laughs, and she thinks she can catch a hint of bitterness in the sound. Allison shifts in discomfort; just the thought of Toby being anything but annoyingly optimistic is...strange.

"What about your mom, then?"

His expression darkens slightly, brows drawing together. "She's, uh...never mind," he mumbles, stumbling over the words. 

"Tob - "

"Wanna go inside?" Toby asks brightly and he gives her his standard smile. But it's too bright, too fake, and it leaves Allison worried and a bit confused. 

 "Okay," she says softly. Maybe Toby catches the way she eyes him with concern, but if he does, he doesn't comment.

"Great!" he heads further inside. "I got my hands on some of those snacks you wanted, by the way," he calls from the kitchen. 

"You did?" Allison asks, surprised, following him. 

"Uh huh," Toby holds up a huge bag of popcorn in response with a grin that she can't help but mirror. "Good enough for ya?"

"Very," she says wryly. 

"Well, we're not actually going to watch the Sister Act that you're probably thinking of," Toby says, putting the popcorn into the microwave. "You know, the one with Whoopi Goldberg?"

"So...what are we watching?"

"Much as I love Whoopi, the film version isn't quite like the Broadway version. And we're watching the Broadway version. I managed to get my hands of a pretty good quality video of it on YouTube and connect my laptop to the TV."

"You can do that?" Allison repeats dizzily. She feels slightly confused just listening to Toby talk about it. 

"Yeah," Toby chuckled, and this time it's genuine. Allison feels a bit better, but the weight of concern in her gut doesn't completely go away. 

"Okay, what are we waiting for?" her question is punctuated by the ding that the microwave lets out.

"We were waiting for that," he replies, extracting the popcorn from the device and emptying it into a bowl. "But nice to see someone's excited," he points out with a wry smile.

"I'm not excited," Allison rolls her eyes. "I just...wanna get it over with."

"Sure."

"Shut up."

"Okay..."

"Shut up!"

"Just sounds like someone's kinda liking thi - "

"Shut up!" This time, she punches Toby in the shoulder, and he winces.

"Okay," he says, rubbing his arm. "Shutting up."

✦

 "So they're dressing up as nuns?" Allison asks in a snorting laugh. She has her legs stretched out across the couch, leaving Toby to sit at the end and prop his own feet up on the coffee table in front of them. 

"Yep," Toby nods around a mouthful of popcorn. "You're laughing now, but it gets pretty damn terrifying when they start shooti - "

"Spoilers!" Allison exclaims, slapping her hands over her ears.

"But you've already seen the film," Toby protests with a laugh. 

"Still," she grumbles, leaning over to snatch a handful of popcorn from the bowl in Toby's lap and slapping him across the chest for good measure. "Don't ruin it."

"I see someone's getting into it," he replies smugly. She narrows her eyes at him. 

"I'm trying to pay attention so that I can talk about this one in the stupid log," she informs him.

"Whatever you say," he sings. 

Allison lets out a noise similar to a growl under her breath, but chooses not to dignify his childishness with a response. They both relapse into silence and continue to watch the film, moving only when Allison needs more popcorn or Toby needs to flail his arms about to express his love for musical theatre.

✦

"In conclusion, Sister Act teaches the viewer about the importance of working as a team, and how teamwork can lead to friendships that last a life time," Toby says happily with a smile at the camera. "And I think that's an awesome moral! What do you think, Allison?"

"Well, for all its messages about working as a team, the team isn't very even," Allison points out with a frown, momentarily forgetting that she's on camera as she thinks about the issue. 

"Huh?" Toby asks, confused.

"How many black people are in the convent?" she says. "One. And she doesn't even want to be there. Doesn't really reflect racial diversity."

"But it's set in the seventies! In Philadelphia! Realistically - "

"Realistically," she interrupts, "a woman wouldn't go to a convent as part of a Witness Protection Programme."

Toby opens his mouth, then closes it, then crosses his arms and slumps back into the couch.

"Anyway," she snorts, looking back at the camera. "Sorry about Toby. He likes musicals. And I'm pretty sure he thinks the sun shines out of Patina Miller's...you know," she says, unwilling to swear on camera and thinking how they're so going to edit half of all of this out before giving it to Ms. Blake. "Patina Miller plays the main character, by the way," she tacks on as an afterthought.

"She's amazing!" Toby exclaims from the couch. "Her voice is literally the most beau - "

"Okay, thanks, Toby," Allison cuts him off. "The musical was entertaining enough," she tells the camera. 

"I knew you liked it!"

"And overall, the values are good," she decides now to make a habit of ignoring Toby completely when making these damn videos. "Really heartwarming and all that. And...yeah."

"It's amazing!" Toby cries, leaning into the camera's focus. "And I  - " 

Allison makes the smart decision to stop recording. Toby pouts at her. "I didn't get to say what I wanted to!" he tells her in an upset tone of voice.

"Tough luck," she deadpans. "You can do the whole thing next time," she compromises when Toby's injured expression persists.

Toby's entire face brightens at the words. "Thanks Allie!" he says cheerfully.

"What did you call me?"

"...son! Allison! I said Allison!"

"I thought so."

✦

"Are you always this difficult?"

"Just because I want to make sure our project gets a close to decent grade!"

As much as Lydia is going for inconspicuousness when it comes to her even being around Emmett, Allison can immediately locate the two of them just from the sound of their hushed bickering, which echoes around the library.

"Allison," Lydia breathes in relief when the girl in question deposits her bag on the desk and sits down in the chair next to Emmett. "Thank God. Someone who can make this mess of a person see sense."

"I'm not a mess," Emmett says in an affronted tone. "I'm a hot mess."

Allison can't stop herself from letting loose a laugh, but Lydia looks far from impressed.

"One of these days, Emmett," she tells him in a thoughtful tone. "I will have the pleasure of slapping you in the face. Very, very hard."

"I look forward to it," he retorts dryly. 

"Okay, well, when you two are done flirting, mind telling me what the issue is?" Allison says, rolling her eyes. Emmett immediately turns a faint shade of red, and Lydia narrows her eyes at her best friend.

"I'm sorry, did you say flirting?" she asks in a tone of voice that sounds vaguely terrifying. Emmett seems to shrink back in his chair slightly, despite not even being the subject of Lydia's criticism (for a change), but Allison seems unphased.

"Oh, yeah," she says lightly, leaning back into her chair with a grin. "With all your experience in the subject, I did think you would've realised - "

"Allison," Lydia cuts her off, a warning in her voice. "I will not hesitate to punch you in the vagina."

"Okay," Emmett gets up, swinging his bag onto his shoulder. "I draw the line at the mention of female genitals. We can talk about this later, Lydia."

"Don't bother coming back until you've seen sense and realise that my idea is best," she shoots back.

Emmett rolls his eyes. "See ya, Allison."

"Bye, Emmett," she offers him a smile with a hint of sympathy in it. God knows Lydia isn't the easiest person to work with on projects. 

"What exactly do you think you're doing," Lydia hisses once he's out of earshot. Allison shrugs.

"I'm just tellin' it how I see it," she says. 

"Well if that's how you see it you've clearly got a visual impairment," her friend snarls in response. 

"Whatever, Lydia," she bites back a smile. 

"Don't whatever me!"

"Whatever."

"Allison - !"

_______________________________________________________

a/n: i'm literally listening to the sister act the musical soundtrack right now and it is one of the best things i have ever heard like genuinely

it's so jAZZY like i'm just dancing in my chair whilst typing this GO LISTEN TO IT OKAY YOU WILL NOT REGRET

okay so i'm sorry this took longer than usual but school gets in the way to be honest

dedication for farah because she REALLY likes emmett like down girl down down

(and i may have thrown that final scene in for her benefit ahem)

i do actually know 'praise my soul the king of heaven' off by heard because it's our school hymn so hey ho

and yeah vote and comment maybe???? i'd love you forever if you did

stay fabulous bby (✿◠‿◠)

(ok that was a sister act reference u caught me) 

- mariam