19: I OFFER ADVICE AND ORGASMS WITH EQUAL FERVOUR

« count to ten, man! mama says just count to ten. »

ALLISON IS bored.

Very, very bored. And alone. And it's grim.

"Ugh," she lies so she's hanging upside down on the couch and letting her arms swing down beside her, colliding with the carpet. Lydia is meeting up with Emmett, apparently concerning their project, but Allison isn't quite sure she buys the story, because ever since the two decided to actually treat each other decently, they're abnormally in tune, to the point where they're capable of finishing each other's sentences and having entire conversations without even opening their mouths. 

Allison isn't sure whether she finds it amusing, endearing, or infuriating. Probably a mix of all three.

Toby is hanging out with Daniel, rendering both of them busy, too. Even her mom is at work, called in on a special case at the courthouse. 

Allison is very, very alone. She does not like it. 

You left me, she texts to Lydia. This is betrayal.

It's only a few minutes before she gets a reply, but it feels like an eternity. 

16.21, Lydia Huntington: Oh, please, you have literally seen no one but me for the past five days. We both needed a break, honey.

16.21, Allison Reed: Betrayal. 

16.23, Lydia Huntington: What are you going to do, execute me? 

16.23, Allison Reed: I hate you. I didn't want to hang out with you, anyway.

16.23, Lydia Huntington: Yeah, okay.

Allison scowls and is considering flinging the phone away from her in irritation, when it buzzes again with another text from Lydia. 

Stop moping home alone and go out. Hook up with someone (notice how I am not being gender specific), try and temporarily erase your burgeoning crush on Toby from your mind (yes, it's a thing, no, nothing you say will convince me otherwise). Explore. Have sex. Make the most of the dying days of 2013. 

"Fuck you," Allison says aloud to the phone, scowl deepening, because she does not take orders from Lydia Huntington, especially when she's not even present to give them in person. 

Half an hour later, Allison ends up going out, but it's totally of her own accord. And maybe she slams the door a little too hard as she leaves. Whatever.

 ✦

Allison ends up wandering around downtown New York City like a very lonely tourist, trying not to think about how sad the whole situation is. Even her surroundings seem utterly deflated, as though they're just managing to pull through the few cold, grey days left until New Years'. She thinks about how ridiculous it is that Lydia expects her to just hook up with someone, as though there's a plethora of someones just hanging around waiting to be hooked up with.

It is this stream of thought, interspersed liberally with various expletives, that occupies Allison as she takes a shortcut though a back alley to Time Square, and results in her walking straight into someone moving in the opposite direction. 

"Oh, sor - Allison?"

Allison looks up to dark eyes bright with recognition and hair that just falls into them. 

"Reuben," she says, voice coming out sounding just as surprised as she feels. "Uh - hi."

"Well, you're someone I didn't think I'd run into," he says with a smile. "Long time no see, huh?"

"Yeah," Allison says, and she finds it just a little weird, making small talk with a previous one night stand, but whatever. She's done worse things.

"So how are you?" he asks, and his smile is a little different now, a hint of something else that Allison knows means only bad, bad things.

 ✦

So whatever, maybe running into Reuben was only going to end one way anyway and it's possible she'll regret it, but right now his hands are wandering places she doesn't mind them going and her veins feel like what's running through them is on fire, and she doesn't know whether it's alcohol or lust or a bit of both, but right now, she thinks as Reuben's lips part beneath hers, does it really matter?

 ✦

Turns out Reuben's not only a pro at sex, but a super pro at pillow talk, something she didn't get to discover last time, and the reason why Allison hasn't kicked him out yet. Luckily for the both of them, her mom's special case is special enough to mean she's staying late at the court and possibly overnight, so yeah, maybe that's another reason she's not in a hurry to make him leave.

"Well, things are always going to be awkward with your ex sometimes," he's currently saying in a reasonable tone from above her, playing with her hair in a way that reminds Allison immediately of Lydia. 

"Yeah, but I didn't anticipate crossing the country for college and still ending up right next to him," she mumbles into his chest. 

"True," Reuben hums.

"And I ended up checking out his best friend, like, five days ago," she adds, and it took a good few shots of tequila paired with afterglow to get her to say it aloud, but she immediately feels all the better for it.

"Oh, no," Reuben says. 

"Yeah," Allison agrees. "Big oh no."

"Well, d'you like him?"

"Hm?"

"The guy you were checking out," Reuben clarifies, hand warm on her bare back. "Do you like him? Or do you just wanna fu -"

"Reuben," she cuts him off with a snort of amusement. "Stop."

"What?" he says innocently, but she can hear the smirk in his voice. "It's a valid question. He must be pretty hot if he's your ex's bro and a chick with outstanding morals such as yourself - ow, don't slap me, I was being serious! - and you're still checking him out."

Allison thinks about it for perhaps a little too long, but she's sleepy from the alcohol. And the sex. So it's not her fault. 

"He is pretty hot," she concludes after a while, because, well, Toby is hot. Goofy, ridiculous, and often with the mentality of a seven year-old, but hot nonetheless. And he doesn't know it, which is always a plus.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Reuben asks, and when she cranes her neck to pin him with a look, he says, "I'm serious!"

Allison slumps back down onto his chest, considering the question. "Toby's my friend," she says eventually. "We're better off as friends," she clarifies, frowning at the extremely foreign idea of her and Toby being a couple. "I can't do that."

"Can't or too chicken to try?"

"Shut up, Reuben."

He only chortles, ridiculously, and Allison permits it for a while, rolling her eyes the entire time, before she prods at his personal life like he did hers.

As it turns out, Reuben is hopelessly in love with his best friend's older sister, who is, apparently, 'really fucking hot'.

"That's not why I like her, though," he tells her later. They've adjusted their positions, both lying on their fronts with their heads turned to face each other, elbows just touching. "She's amazing at art. Like, literally, all she has to do is put her pen to the paper and, bam. I don't even know how she does it."

Allison makes a soft noise of agreement, and he continues. 

"She's head editor at this fashion magazine in Brooklyn. Youngest ever one. She lives pretty close to her family. But she only talks to Jem now," he says, referring to his friend.

"What? Why?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Henderson kicked her out when she said she wanted to fashion at college," Reuben says with a half-shrug. "Joke's on them now, though. Jem says she's literally one of the most important people in the whole industry."

Allison hums in acknowledgement. "What's her name?"

"Piper," Reuben sighs dreamily. "Piper Henderson."

"Wow," Allison snorts into her pillow. "You are whipped."

He rolls onto his side to face her properly, frowning. "You're one to talk. You're practically in love with that Toby guy and you don't even realise it."

Now it's Allison's turn to frown. "Shut up," she says.

"Make me," Reuben grins cheekily, and Allison thinks briefly of Lydia, then decides she will, and that's how neither of them end up doing much talking for a while after that.

 ✦

Allison is making tea for herself and coffee for Reuben when she notices that the phone he's got in his hands as he sits on the counter beside her isn't his, but hers.

"Hey," she says, making a fairly feeble swat for it that he dodges easily. She lets out a sigh. "Do I want to know what you're doing?"

Reuben doesn't reply, only holds up the phone and pulls a face. It takes a few seconds for Allison to realise he's taking a photo of himself, by which time he's already tossed it back to her.

"For whenever you need me," he says lightly as she catches the phone and opens it up. Reuben's programmed his number into it under the name Agony Aunt/Booty Call, and Allison can't suppress the smile that plays at her lips at the ridiculous contact photo.

"Thanks," she says, still staring at it.

"No prob," Reuben shrugs. "I offer advice and orgasms with equal fervour."

She punches his arm. "Crude," she says.

"But true," he points out, and she can't argue with that. 

Later, when Reuben's standing on her doorstep, he surprises Allison by sweeping her up into a hug. She returns it, breathing in the scent of coffee and, oddly, shoe polish. It's strangely comforting, Reuben already a strong familiar, even though she's only met him twice. 

"I like you, Allison Reed," he murmurs into her temple. "Don't be a stranger."

"I won't," she assures him with a chuckle into his jacket. "Where else would I go when I'm sexually frustrated?"

"Well," he pulls away with a wicked grin. "That Toby sounds -"

"Oh my God, shut up," she rolls her eyes and pushes him away from her slightly. "Leave, I can't even look at you." Reuben chuckles, turning and stepping away from the door. 

"Bye, Allison!" he calls as he reaches the sidewalk. "Don't forget to tell me all about Stanford!"

"Yeah, yeah," Allison rolls her eyes again, but she's smiling despite herself. "Keep me posted on Piper, Casanova."

She catches a glimpse of his familiar grin as he keeps walking. "Only if you do the same when it comes to that Toby of yours!"

Allison closes the door and ends up staring at her hand gripping the knob for far too long, Reuben's last words stuck in her head on a loop.

That Toby of yours.

 ✦

"Honey, I'm home," Lydia says as she enters Allison's bedroom to see her typing away at her laptop.

"Back late, I see," Allison observes teasingly, sparing Lydia a glance before returning to the computer screen. "You sure you and Emmett spent all that time just working on your English project?"

"Yes, actually," Lydia huffs. "There were a lot of details that needed to be finalised."

"I'll say," Allison snorts. Lydia doesn't respond, instead moving to stand behind her, bending slightly so she can rest her chin on Allison's shoulder and read over the top of it.

"Whatcha doin'?" she hums.

"Nothing," Allison says lightly. "Just reading."

"About Footloose?"

"It's the musical Toby said he wants to watch tomorrow."

"Ah."

"Mhm."

Allison's almost done with the Wikipedia article on Kevin Bacon when Lydia speaks again.

"I'm not sure I like him like that," she admits quietly, lips just brushing against Allison's neck. Allison twists suddenly in her chair; Lydia moves back. 

"I'm sorry, what?" Allison's eyes widen. "Are we talking about the same person? Emmett Knight? You don't like him?"

"I do like him," Lydia clarifies. "Just...not like that. And I don't think he likes me that way either."

"But," Allison feels like she's just been told that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got a divorce. "He's Emmett. And you're Lydia."

"And we are both way too similar to be anything other than friends," Lydia finishes, shaking her head. "Really good friends," she adds thoughtfully. 

"Hey," Allison says warningly. 

"Oh, don't worry, sweetheart, you're in a league of your own," Lydia says wryly.

"Gee, thanks," Allison rolls her eyes. 

"Anyway," Lydia says.

"Anyway."

"I just...I don't know. I might be wrong. But I'm usually not."

"Maybe you should just give it a go," Allison shrugs. 

"Maybe," Lydia agrees thoughtfully. "We'll see."

 Their silence resumes and Allison's moved on to reading about Holding Out for a Hero when Lydia moves to begin and pull off her tights from under her dress and says, "Anyway."

"Anyway."

"Okay, I'm going to say it, since you clearly don't want to mention it first."

"Okay. Go for it."

"Alright, fine," Lydia sighs, as though Allison has left her with no choice. "You had sex," she says bluntly. 

Allison feels her cheeks warm, but keeps her eyes fixed on the laptop screen. "I had a shower afterwards," she mumbles, for lack of anything else to say. 

Lydia snorts. "It's going to take more than that, Allison."

"Whatever."

"So who was the lucky guy?"

Allison hesitates, then says: "Reuben."

"Wait," Lydia frowns, thinking. "Why does that name sound familiar?"

"It's possible that he's the same guy I hooked up with that one time you kidnapped me and took me to a club. That I somehow managed to run into downtown today. Maybe."

"Wow. Small world."

"Yeah, well, the whole thing ended up being very beneficial for me, so I'm glad that the world decided to be small this one time," Allison scrolls down, and, after a moment's consideration, clicks the link to Kenny Loggins' article. 

"Hm," Lydia says. "You still like Toby, though."

Suddenly, Allison can't even begin to focus on Kenny Loggins. "What?"

"Come on," she can practically hear Lydia rolling her eyes. "You do. I'm pretty sure even your mom noticed the way you were staring at him on Christmas day."

"My mom?" Allison repeats, horrified. 

"Your mom," Lydia agrees. "It's okay. All you're doing is finally seeing what's been staring you in the face this whole time."

"No - I -" Allison feels slightly dizzy, as though someone's taken a billion-watt flashlight and shone it right in her eyes. "I don't know. I might like him. I...I don't know."

"You know," Lydia says thoughtfully. "That's exactly what Toby said when I asked him. Like, verbatim."

"You asked him?" Allison turns a little too quickly to face Lydia, who is now removing her makefup at the dresser beside her desk. "What - what did he say?"

"That he wasn't sure if he liked you, like-liked you - God, I feel like a fifth grader - or just like you very strongly as a friend. But that was ages ago. He's probably way in over his head by now. You're that kind of person, you know. I said that to him too."

"What kind of person?"

"The kind of person that everyone practically falls in love with but don't even know it until they're completely and utterly, irretrievably a goner. To the point of no return. You know. That kind of person. That's you."

There's a tone to Lydia's voice that catches somewhere in the back of Allison's mind, as though she knows exactly what she's talking about, but most of her is thinking about Toby, and how weird it is that most of her is thinking about Toby, and how she's confused by Toby, and how weird it is that she's confused by Toby.

"I don't know," she repeats again in a murmur. "I think that's where I am right now, too," she says of Toby's words that Lydia had relayed. "I...he's my friend." 

"Well," Lydia says, still looking unreasonably gorgeous even post-makeup removal. "Wait it out. Maybe you want Toby to be your best friend. Maybe you want him to be your boyfriend. Maybe you want both," she turns away from the mirror to look at Allison, and adds: "Which is totally okay, by the way. Best friend slash boyfriend relationships are the ones that last."

Allison considers it. "Is Toby my best friend?" she asks.

"Apart from me and your laptop? Probably, yeah."

She thinks hard about it, about how three months ago Toby Martin was just the guy she was being forced to do and English project with. ABout how most of the time he made her want to roll her eyes practically every minute of the day. About how he still makes her want to do that, but it's different than before.

"That's...weird," Allison says finally. 

"I think it's cute," Lydia comments, a third to Allison, a third to herself, and a third to the mirror. "You were becoming too dependent on me, anyway."

"Shut up, Lydia."

 ✦

"You are my friend," Allison blurts out immediately when Toby opens his front door the next day.

Toby arches an eyebrow, but he's smiling. "Thanks for the clarification," he says jokingly, moving so she can enter. "Was there a particular reason for it?"

"I was just thinking about it," Allison says honestly. "The other day. And I realised that maybe a lot of the time I forget that sometimes this stuff doesn't go without saying. So...I'm saying it." She pauses, thinking maybe she's been a little too verbose. "Is that okay?"

Toby has been looking at her intently the entire time during her impromptu speech, and now he's smiling slowly; not his standard beam, but something quieter, softer, with the same capacity to make her feel warm all over as Lydia's. 

"Yeah, that's okay," and he takes Allison's hand as though it's natural, when squeezes. "C'mon," his fingers slide up to tug at her wrist, and he begins to drag her out of the hallway and towards the television. "You ready for Footloose?"

"No," Allison groans. Toby laughs. 

 ✦

"My theatre company did a production of this," Toby mentions offhandedly near the beginning of the second act. They're watching a bootlegged version of the Broadway production, because, according to Toby, it's different to the film. "Like, three years ago," he adds.

"Who'd you play?" Allison asks.

"That guy," Toby laughs, nodding at one of the boys on stage. "Willard."

"But isn't he, like, awful at dancing? Why'd they cast you?"

"I appreciate the slightly obscure compliment," Toby grins, "but it's around about here in the show that Willard has to become an amazing dancer, so. I remember I had an awesome song," he reflects thoughtfully. "You'll see it soon."

She does, after Willard undergoes a transformation during the course of one song that renders him an amazing dancer in order to impress his crush (Rusty). A few scenes later, he starts singing about various pieces of advice that crazy mom gives him. 

"Don't use a toaster whilst standing in the shower?" Allison repeats, snorting.

"It gets better," Toby assures her in between singing along quietly (well, as quietly as Toby can manage, anyway). "Pretty sure there's a line in there about not chewing tin foil, too."

"I look forward to it," Allison says dryly. 

Toby sends her a half smile, like the one he wore earlier, a smaller version of his usual but with all the genuineness. Like subscript on a Word document, Allison thinks to herself suddenly. Smaller, but still there.

For the rest of the show, Allison feels odd, like her insides are chocolate that's been left in the sun too long. The feeling curls itself around her gut, squeezing tighter when Toby's knee brushes briefly against hers or he brings his long, slender fingers (when did she even notice that?) to tug at her wrist when something he deems exciting happens and he wants her to pay attention. Allison tries to combat it by only only taking popcorn when she's sure there's no chance of Toby reaching for it at the same time and making catty remarks about Ariel's dependence on members of the male gender.

 ✦

"So whaddaya think?" Toby asks once the end credits have finished rolling, because it's what he always asks.

"I've sat though worse," she says.

Toby grins, and she absolutely does not stare at the dimple in his right cheek or find it endearing. 

"Fair enough," he concedes. "Video log?"

Allison nods and Toby goes to get the video camera, and she thinks about Reuben and him asking her what are you waiting for?

_________________________________________________________________

a/n: i'm sorry but i literally missed reuben so much. also the bonus this time is that i've finally decided on how i want to spell his name which is always good

to anyone who's wondering: yes, i have been cast as willard in my school's summer musical (which is footloose). no, i cannot dance to save my life. for lydia because she stayed up and read this all in one sitting (!!) and like birthday. soon. 

vote, comment, enjoy! love you all.

- mariam

p.s. sorry for the shameless door to door reference. i couldn't help myself. also i've always had this headcanon where everywhere she goes piper inarvedently causes people to fall in love with her and she doesn't even realise because like.....she's piper