He bears an ancient robe, etched in battle wounds of peanut butter and jelly.
His muscles are toned and covered with the same soft shield that has grown over his belly.
His voice is like cheap coarse velvet, rivalling the most ill ferocious beasts of all kind.
His courage and bravery are as high as the IQ of his mind.

And who is this person, bearing a slightly burnt tan?
This admirable man?
This stallion of a guy?
You may regret that question, soon you will know why!

You never guessed it did ya?

It's The Brown Ninja!