જ Twice For Love જ ☾Carmi☽
Book Title: Twice For Love
Author: annietheaviothic
Reviewer: Read-aholic2006
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(NOTE: This review is only based on the first 10 chapters.)
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Title: 5/5
If I were to place TWICE FOR LOVE beside the titles of other romantic teen fic novels, then yours would be quite distinguishable. Though, I don't exactly know how it ties into your story, but I'm certain you do.
Cover: 4/5
I like the style of your cover and the font that you used, but I suggest that you enlarge the two lines above your title to enhance readability. Also, the dude on the cover has brown hair, yet Denver's is platinum blond (yes, I know I have mentioned this to you before).
Blurb: 3/5Although you've cooked up several paragraphs, your blurb is quite vague, failing to tell readers what your story is actually about. You don't even drop a hint about Anna and Denver crossing paths or suggest any themes of romance. I mean, that is the genre of your book, right?
Creativity/Originality: 5/5
In my opinion, one of the most creative aspects of your book is the interesting system by which the college divides its students, grouping them according to their personality types.
Plot/Flow: 9/10
In Chapter 6, you basically rewrote everything that occurred in the two chapters before it—but from a different perspective. Hence, the only new information readers were acquainted with is that Isa is impressively observant. That's it. So, I personally believe that Chapter 6 is rather unnecessary, only serving as a speedbump. You could've simply picked up where you left off in the previous chapter with Isa's POV instead of revisiting what already happened.
Characters: 9/10
I highly recommend that you introduce a character's disposition more naturally—as opposed to tossing their personality type into brackets. I'm not saying that you're not allowed to mention that Jonah (for example) possesses ESFJ qualities, but try to practice the art of smoothly bleeding those traits into the way he speaks, thinks or behaves.
Nonetheless, you have undoubtedly conducted thorough research on each of the 16 personalities, which greatly plays in your favor as a certain character could appeal to a reader due to their shared attributes, effectively maximizing relatability.
I find the dialogue between your characters to be hilarious. Perhaps in another life, you're meant to be a comedian.
All in all, every one of your characters are extremely loveable.
Writing style/grammar: 7/10
Grammar-wise, I'd say your biggest issue is punctuation errors—please ensure that you insert all your commas in the correct place and remove those that don't belong in the sentence. Other mistakes include missing hyphens or words and incorrect capitalization. As an unspoken rule, provide each speaker with their own paragraph; do not, for instance, place Denver's dialogue in the same paragraph that also contains Anna's dialogue.
As for your narration, I actually like it. Although I tried to find fault in the way you told the story (that is my job, unfortunately), I didn't come across anything that wrinkled my nose.
Genre relevance: 5/5
So far, your story effortlessly reflects the romantic YA genre.
Reading enjoyment: 8/10
I truly love this narrative and I would've continued reading if it weren't for my other priorities. However, when my schedule is all cleared up, I'll dive right back into the pages!
Overall thoughts and extra comments: 55/65
I've mentioned all the flaws throughout the first 10 chapters of your book in both this review and the comments I had posted, so I hope I've been of admirable assistance. Take care.
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