Title: Crippled inside
Author: Elephant_reject
Reviewer: Caitrw

Title: 5/5
This title fits perfectly for what the story is about as well as fits the main character's mindset and emotions.

Blurb: 3/5
The blurb is at a great start however, there is some information that is missing that would help the readers understand what the story is about. For example: explain who Sean is.

Plot/flow of story: 10/20
The writer did a really great job with sticking with the plot of the story while adding details to it which helped strengthen it. However, when it comes to the flow of the story it moves too fast. This can be helped with describing more of the world building and character building in a scene as well as more dialogue.

Character development: 3/5
I feel like there wasn't really much of a character development besides when Paul and John had a scene due to Sean just trying to get by in his day.

Grammar/punctuation: 5/10
When it comes to the grammar part there are a few errors that can be easily fixed. The first area being that there are sentences missing words to help the flow as well as there being sentences that need rearranged. For example in chapter one, "she was used to at this point brushing off the question" which it should be something more along the lines of "At this point she was used to brushing off the question." Another area in grammar is when it comes to numbers while writing, It's fine to use numbers but it's better to spell them out. When it comes to punctuation there were a few misplaced periods and commas as well as areas that could use them

Readers enjoyment: 3/5
I enjoyed the story but the flow moving too fast made it harder to enjoy it and with there being no background for the characters in it. I felt lost throughout it.

Total: 29/55

Review:

Overall, the story has really great potential and is different from the stories I have read priorly. It's a really interesting idea that can go a long way! As stated above there were issues with the sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation that is an easy fix. When it comes to the flow of the story that can be slowed down by spending more time and a scene and really describing it with character and world building. Another thing that is important is the use of translation words like "furthermore, however, etc." these will help your story move more smoothly as well. When it comes to the characters it's important to include some background on them in there as well.

The author did a great job at making it relatable though with the emotions that Sean was feeling and how divorce makes a person feel that way. They also did a great job at sticking with the time period that the story is taking place in.