You start to feel your body wake up little by little. Your eyelashes flutter as sunlight bleeds through them and you pull the covers over your head.

It was Sunday and it was well known in the castle that the royal family considered Sundays to be a "family day."

Your mom made it a rule a couple years back when she realized you were all growing so fast and barely spent time together since everyone was always so busy.

She had one day just announced that everyone should do nothing work/school related on Sundays and instead spend the entire day with eachother if bearable.

Usually, after a while of spending the day together, everyone separates and goes on to do their own thing. You can love your family to death but after a while, you need a break.

There was no class, no lessons, no important meetings or no interruptions from the outside world. It was the day of the week that your parents forced all of you to spend a bunch of time together to make up for the entire week of practically never seeing each other.

So because it was considered a more family based day, a lot of the workers weren't required to work except of course, some of the important ones.

Mikasa, for example, had the day off Sundays. She didn't need to come wake you up and force you out of bed to get you dressed like she usually did every morning. She didn't need to be at your side the entire day or even have to deal with you at all.

Of course, she still lived here so it was common for you to bump into her and you two usually hung out sometimes on her day off too. It honestly depended on how fed up she was with you that week.

Since Mikasa had off, so did Jean. A majority of the guards still worked Sundays since they couldn't let all of them have off because the castle still had to be guarded 24/7. The weekly schedule varied to alternate shifts so that guards had every other Sunday off.

But Jean was no longer just a guard. He had moved up to just being yours. Clearly, if a war broke out, he'd have to fight regardless of his status. But fortunately enough for him, that wasn't the case today so he had the day off.

So, that meant you had nobody hovering over you today even though technically, you did since you had to spend time with your three older brothers who were just as protective as Mikasa and Jean, if not more.

Not that you were complaining really, you loved spending time with your family. On the days when they're not stressed or in a hurry, they were actually really fun.

Sundays aren't just for family though. It was also a personal day to just relax and be alone. To just enjoy the day the way you want to.

Well, as close as you can get to what you want.

Since there was no one coming to wake you up, you slept in. That was another absolutely amazing thing about Sundays.

You blink repeatedly as your irises adjust to the faint sunlight shining through your curtains. You were surprised they were pulled together considering you didn't recall closing the curtains last night. That only meant Mikasa came to your room while you were sleeping to make sure you made it okay and closed them for you.

You do a quick stretch before you sit up in bed and rub your eyes, making sure to dig your nail in the corner ducts of your eyes to get rid of any eye boogers.

You look over to the clock and see it's a little after  10am. Normally, you'd be in class right now and you were so happy that you weren't. For some reason, you felt much more tired than usual today. Probably considering all the dancing you did last night with a hundred different people.

A hundred different dances with a hundred different people yet there was one dance you couldn't get out of your head.

You smile gently as you begin to recall your dance with him. The way the two of you swayed on the swings together underneath the moonlight and he told you he wished you saw yourself the way the rest of the world did. The way he stood up and told you to dance with him. The way—

Oh god.

Your hand comes up to your mouth. Wait. What was it you said to him while you danced? That you wished he was a prince?

You gasp and you could've swore you felt your heart drop to your stomach. You grab your pillow and scream as loud as you can into it. "Oh my god, oh my god. Why did I say that?!"

With the pillow still pushed up against your face, you fall backwards back into bed and groan. "That's so embarrassing. I practically yelled I love you."

You throw the pillow across the bed and sit up again with your face in your hands. "I can never show my face ever again."

Not only was it bad you said something so undeniably humiliating and hopelessly romantic  in the heat of the moment but the fact he didn't say anything back made you feel a million times worse about it.

You remember saying it and then leaving with Mikasa and then when you bumped into Jean again back at the ball, he was like a complete different person. He was pushing you toward people and admitted he wanted you to get married to one of them.

Even though he said that, later on that night when everything had come to an end, he clearly was not thrilled with the thought of you getting married. So which is it? Did he want you to or not?

And then there was the fact that you were going to get married after all. The one thing you did not want to happen, happened. Now all that was left was for him to propose and that was that. You were a married woman and sent off to some other land to live there along side your new husband.

You remove your hands from your face and take a deep breath. You climb off your bed and walk over to the windows and spread the curtains apart, allowing the sun to hit you fully as you open up the windows as well.

You stand in front of the open window, the sunlight beaming down on you and cool morning air filling your nose and lungs. You close your eyes and take in the moment.

The embarrassed, anxious feelings melted away. It was like they evaporated with the sun. Like for a spilt moment, all your worries disappeared.

You stand there for a few more minutes before you walk over to your bathroom and do everything you need to including bathing and getting dressed.

Since Hitch was off today as well, there was no new colorful dress waiting for you. Or so you thought. You open up your closet and see a pretty velvet, dark maroon dress that looked incredibly comfortable with a note attached to the hanger.

Had extra material and thought this would make a comfy but beautiful day off kind of dress. Hope you love it! -H

You pull the dress off the hanger and run the smooth fabric against your cheek and practically melt. This was perfect kind of dress for a Sunday kind of day. It was soft and minimal while still looking elegant.

Plus, it didn't have a corset with it and that was your favorite part. It was also long sleeved which was perfect since it was starting to get colder now that it was venturing closer to winter.

You slip the dress on like nothing and it fits you perfectly snug. Not too tight, not too loose. You then walk over to your vanity and take a seat in front of it. You begin fixing up your hair and applying moisturizer to where necessary when you hear a knock on the door.

"Com-" You start but the person is already barging in before you even get to finish your sentence and from the reflection in the mirror, you can see it's your mother. "Good morning." She sings.

"Morning." You reply. She walks over to your windows. "You shouldn't have these open, it's fresh out there. We're getting closer to winter so you need to remember it's going to get a lot colder these next couple weeks.

"Not like I'm going to get sick." You remind her as you apply your face creams. She closes the windows and turns to you. "You might not but we do. You're still letting the cold air in."

You turn around in your seat. "Good thing I can heal you guys too then."

She visibly grows more agitated. "So it's okay to get us sick because you can take it away? Don't think only of yourself."

What the hell?

"What are you talking about? How am I only thinking of myself when-" You pause and inhale deeply and close your eyes when you realize who you're speaking to and how there's never any point in arguing with her because she swears she's always right. Both of your hands come up. "You know what, forget it."

You twist around in your seat and finish the rest of your process when from the corner of your eye you can see her standing there with her arms crossed. "Does something trouble you?" She questions.

"No. All is well." You say as you apply moisturizer to your lips too, making sure to apply a good amount to protect them from cracking since it's getting colder.

And also... for other reasons. Moisturized lips are always much more attractive. For no one in particular, of course.

She walks up to your bed and straightens it out because apparently, the way you made it wasn't neat enough in her eyes. "You forget I am your mother and know when you're lying."

You look at her through the mirror. "Okay, fine. Do you regret me?" You decide to go straight to the point since she wants to know so badly.

Her head twists to you with a sudden force. "I beg your pardon?"

"Do you regret me?" You repeat. "Do you wish you could have given birth to another girl? Someone normal?"

She stares at you in complete shock but you then see the revelation in her eyes as she realizes you overheard what she said yesterday.

You chuckle and look down at your hands. "It's actually quite funny. I was blessed with such a gift, yet it feels more like a curse. At least that's how you all make it seem."

She says nothing so you keep going. "I understand that I've made you only suffer, the both of you. In ways I probably can not even imagine."

You run your thumb along the lines sketched across your palm. "I've made my brothers suffer as well. It's because of me that they can't go outside freely and why they lost their dearest friend at one point."

You now pick your head up to look at her. "I know because I have suffered because of this as well. I feel like I'm behind in everything. Development, knowledge, life. I haven't experienced anything at all. I like to think I know many things but I fear I actually know nothing at all."

She walks over to you and kneels forward so she meets your face as you remain seated. "My beautiful, sweet girl. I fear I have spent my life protecting you rather than nurturing you and for that I deeply apologize."

"I don't want you to hate me. Any of you." You admit.

She smiles but her eyes are sad. "My child, I could never hate you. You and your brothers are my greatest joys in this world. But you?"

She grabs your hand. "You, I'm exceptionally proud of in ways you can not even begin to fantom. You are the most beautiful soul I've ever encountered."

You feel your heart melt. She squeezes your hand gently but with a grip that proved she meant everything she was saying.

"I often find myself wondering, where on earth did she inherit such a kind, generous heart from? Me and your father are good people, don't get me wrong. We love our people, our staff and our friends from other kingdoms but our kindness does not compare to that of yours." She brings her hand to your cheek, her thumb running across the skin.

Her eyes meet yours and they're warm and honest. "You have every right to hate us, yet, you love us unconditionally even when we have not been fair to you. I know we kept you hidden away for many years but we were just protecting you. We were terrified."

Her hand comes down and she looks down to the ground. "Perhaps there were other ways to accomplish that but your father and I, we are still learning too. I know we like to behave like we know all and what's best but we are human beings at the end of the day who are still learning just like everyone else. You don't just learn everything at a certain age."

You smile a little and she returns the same kind. "And believe it or not, we've never had a child with magical abilities before so this is new to us."

You laugh and shake your head, your eyes to your lap. "I know."

Her fingers lift your chin up to look at her once more. "But darling, I've never regretted you nor will I ever. I may say things out of frustration and stress, I may even claim to wish things were different. But I wouldn't change you for the world.  I could have not asked for a better daughter."

She grabs your face with both hands and plants a kiss on your forehead. "You are my greatest achievement."

She then winks at you. "Don't tell the boys. I'll never hear the end of it." She then stands back up and turns your head forward again so you're facing the mirror. "I'll help you with your hair."

You sit up straight and allow her to tame the wild hairs that were splayed everywhere from your strange sleeping positions.

"Did you have fun last night?" She asks, her fingers briefly graze the back of your neck, giving you goosebumps. You nod. "It was beautiful, thank you."

Her eyes flick up to meet yours in the mirror. "That's not what I asked you. Did you have fun?"

You look back at her through the glass. "You can say that."

She sets the hair products down and organizes your vanity. "Prince Pheonix.."

"Please stop." You groan. You quickly stand up from your seat and make your way over to your closet to grab your shoes.

"He's staying in Elida for a few days before he goes back to Cilicy Island. He's coming tomorrow to see you." She says casually.

You had one leg bent upwards as you slip one of your shoes when you pause and stare at her. "Why is he coming?"

The queen opens her mouth to answer but you rush over to her. "He's not going to propose yet right? Please say he isn't. I'm not ready, I thought I still had some time."

She rolls her eyes at your dramatics and pulls you away from her. "He wants to spend as much time as he can with you before he proposes. He knows you don't want a meaningless marriage so he wants to make you feel as comfortable with him as possible. You should be glad. Most princes wouldn't care and would propose the very next day."

You stand still for just a second. "Well, that was nice of him."

She glares at you. "He's a very nice person. His parents raised him well. They're just as humble and considerate."

She then steps closer to you. "You'd fit in there, a girl like you. They care for their people deeply and do whatever it takes to ensure they're all living healthy and well."

"What am I supposed to do when he comes?" You ask. "I have no idea what to talk to him about."

She sits on the corner of your bed and she fixes her dress to drape her legs gracefully. She was wearing a dark navy gown with gold lining that flattered her beautifully. "You seemed to get along with him well last night."

You look away from her and look yourself over in the mirror one more time. "He's easy to talk to but that was before I realized he was going to be my husband. I feel like I'm going to be awkward now."

She pats the spot on the bed beside her. "It's always going to be a little awkward at first. You should have seen me with your father."

You sit beside her. "Oh gosh, is this where we have that mother-daughter talk where we realize we aren't so different after all?"

She ignores you. "You're lucky we even gave you the option to choose. Your grandparents picked for me. I didn't have single say in the matter."

You toss yourself back and lay down. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world." You mutter bitterly.

She twists around to look at you. "All I'm trying to say is, my parents chose your father for me. I'm not going to lie, I wasn't a big fan of it at first. I didn't want to get married to someone I didn't know, it terrified me."

She twists the wedding ring on her finger side to side. "But I was the only girl in my family so I had to do it. I was lucky your father was a good person. We didn't love eachother right away but we learned how to."

You sit up, your interest peaked and stare at her. "How?"

Her eyes raise up to the roof as she thinks for a moment. "I would pay attention to little things about him that I found adorable like the way he looks when he's sleeping or the way he is with the people of his kingdom. The way he treats everyone with respect no matter who they are, commoners or royalty."

You smile a little. "He does look funny when he sleeps."

She laughs. "I was honestly scared to death when we first got married and he could tell so he did everything possible to make me feel safe. He allowed me to sleep in a different room for a couple days until I had enough courage to sleep in his bed. He would get me fresh flowers everyday and have the staff make all my favorite food. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and even dessert."

You feel your body swell up with awe. Who would've known your dad was such a romantic?

For some reason, this talk actually helped calm your nerves. You weren't a hundred percent sure Phoenix was going to do anything remotely close to what your father did for your mother but you could see him atleast attempting to.

Even though you barely knew him, the small moments you had together were not quite as excruciating as the other interactions you've had with other princes.

But no matter how surprisingly pleasant he was, he still wasn't who you had in the back of your mind.

"It's okay if you're scared. You don't have to act so brave all the time." She reassures you as she picks at some lint clinging on to you.

You cringe. "It's not that I'm scared it's just..." You sigh. "I don't know. Maybe I am scared. I don't know how to be someone's wife. I've never even been someone's girlfriend."

"There's not really much to it." Queen Solana admits. "Be supportive. Help him make decisions. Be there for him always."

You run your hands along your silk sheets. "How long did it take for you and dad to sleep in the same bed?"

"Hm." She hums. "I think it took about four days. I was supposed to our wedding night but he didn't want to force me into anything. Around the third day, I had already grown more comfortable around him."

"Four days." You mutter to yourself. Four days didn't nearly sound like enough time to fall in love with someone. Unless it's true love or whatever, I guess then who knows.

She studies your face for a moment. "Is this what this is about? You're scared to share the same bed as him?"

You adjust your seating position as you grow uncomfortable. "Sharing the bed with a stranger just feels weird. What if he snores? What if he farts in his sleep? And what about me? I move too much. He's going to hate sleeping with me."

She laughs. "I don't think that's what this is really about." She lowers her voice for a moment. "You're scared to have sex with him."

Your body shoots up. "I'm not!"

She presses her lips together to force herself not to laugh. "It's okay if you are. I was absolutely terrified. Have you seen your father too? He's a big man an always has been even when we were younger."

You have never been sick a day in your life but if you had to assume what it felt like, this is definitely it. Your hands come up to block your ears. "Please stop. Believe it or not but I don't want to hear about my parents having sex."

She giggles. "We could've stopped after we had Elijah but we just kept going. Three more kids later and here you are."

"Stop!" You gag. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because soon you'll be married and in that same position. You're an adult now." Solana admits. She then leans forward to look at you more carefully. "You do know how children are made right?"

You never wanted to run out of your room more than in this very moment. "Yes! I'm not an idiot. I know how the reproduction process works."

She scrunches up her nose. "But do you really know?"

You snap your head to her. "Is this supposed to be the 'sex talk?' I'm pretty sure you were supposed to give this to me years ago, not just a couple days before I'm due to get engaged."

Her face hardens. "I didn't get the talk until the day before my wedding."

Your entire mouth goes dry and you gulp. You never realized how everything was even more strict and enforced back them. Was it also getting hot in here? Probably because she closed your windows. "Can't someone else give me this talk?"

"What's wrong with me giving it to you?" She asks.

You scoot away from her. "If you're going to keep using you and dad as an example, I think I'll end up too traumatized to have sex for my entire life."

She rolls her eyes. "Then who else do you want to tell you besides the person who quite literally gave you life?"

"How did the boys find out?" You ask. You were absolutely positive they've known for years now because they were always making jokes about it. There was also the fact that you knew for certain that Ambrose had several sexual relations with different princesses that he encountered.

Solana stands up from your bed and adjusts a frame that hung on your wall. "Your father told Elijah and Elijah told your brothers when they came of age."

Little did she know you've known just as long as they have but had to pretend you didn't because you weren't allowed to know about any of it.

"Well then why can't one of them explain it to me then?" In all honestly, the thought of your brothers explaining sex to you made you just as uncomfortable as your mother doing it but you just had to suggest something so she could stop.

She had now moved on from adjusting your picture frame to any little thing she could find out of place. Everytime she came in your room, she needed to fix something. It never failed. "Because the boys sex talk is different than the girls."

"What?" You stand up from the bed now. "How does that even make any sense? Isn't it a mutual process? Shouldn't both sides know the same information?"

You catch her smiling a little. "Yes but not necessarily. They have different body parts so it's a different kind of conversation. They don't feel pain like we do either. They also have to do most of the work."

You cringe. "It's not going to hurt me at all though. How do I even know if I'll even enjoy it at all? What if I can't feel anything at all the whole time?"

She laughs loudly and you glare at her for making you feel stupid for even asking that. "Well you're right about the pain part but you're still able to feel discomfort, aren't you? Your body will take it away but you'll still feel it at first I'm sure."

"As for everything else," she continues, "You'll be able to feel it. Sex isn't just pain, y/n. It can be something so beautiful if done right. Your body still allows you to feel pleasure and satisfaction. You'll be fine."

You look down at your feet. "How do I know if it's being done right?" You didn't want to ask her that because of how humiliating it was but you genuinely didn't know. You were a virgin who had never been touched in that way. Prince Phoenix is a virgin too as far as you knew. So how the hell did either one of you know if you're doing any of it correctly?

She keeps laughing, finding your innocence quite refreshing and nostalgic to her as she recalls when she was just as nervous at your age. "Sex is natural. When two people love each other, it'll just happen without forcing it to. You won't even realize its about to happen until it does. It'll be almost like natural instinct. Humans are made to reproduce. Just like animals."

You meet her eyes. "But what if we don't love each other? It won't feel as natural, will it? It'll feel forced. It won't feel romantic or special."

Her bright face melts into a much more saddened expression when she sees the concern in your eyes. She could tell how much it was bothering you. She walks over to you and holds your hand. "Let's not think of that right now. Who knows? Maybe you'll find yourself loving him more than you expect to."

She kisses your hand. "He's trying, you know? He doesn't want to just force himself into your life. He's giving you the opportunity to learn to love him."

You know she's right. You know that you're lucky for him to even be that considerate when people, such as your mother, aren't so blessed with that kind of opportunity.

You also know that he's a pretty good person. He was kind and funny. He was easygoing and generous. Not to mention, he was ridiculously good looking and well groomed. He had gorgeous dark skin that remained luminous from the bright, tropical island sun he resided under and his teeth were unbelievably straight and white. He smelled like coconut and other sweet smelling fruit like mango or pineapple.

He was the ideal man. Any girl would've instantly fell head over heels for him and would've been ecstatic to marry him. Yet, you weren't satisfied.

Why? Why were you being so ungrateful? Why were you second guessing everything? Why were you just praying someone would stop this all from happening?

"Come on." She guides you to the door. "We can't keep having such a heavy conversation on an empty stomach, can we?"

You pause for a moment. "Mom?"

Before she reaches for the handle, she turns to you. You smile at her. "Thank you."

She returns the smile and the two of you exit out the room. Before you make it down the hall, you pass Jean's room and see the door is shut. You wonder if he was still asleep.

You both make your way over to the family room. A large room that was always filled with treats such as fresh pastries and other small food like finger sandwiches and fruit. There was chairs and couches in the center of the room for the family to socialize together.

When you enter the room, you see Elijah already picking at the table and piling stuff onto his plate. Kai was laid out on a couch, his long body taking up all the space and not leaving any room for anyone to sit beside him.

"Goodmorning Elijah." Solana kisses his cheek. She then walks up to Kai and flicks his forehead. "Wake up, Malakai."

He groans and just turns his body to face the other side of the couch away from everyone else. You walk up to the table and start to grab the things you currently feel like eating.

Elijah points at a covered dish off to the side that had a note with your name on it. "Niccolo said that's your breakfast."

Completely confused, you remove the lid and see a stack of three warm, sweet smelling blueberry pancakes with a small cup of syrup on the side. Your eyes jolt open when you remember he owes you all your favorite food since you caught him yesterday with Sasha. You wonder if Jean got his french toast this morning too.

Kai sits up and peeks over the couch to your plate. "No fair, why does she get special breakfast?"

Elijah walks over to the couch across Kai and takes a seat. "She probably requested it. You know you can do that right? Don't just expect them to know what you want."

Kai sends him the nastiest look. "I know that." He sinks back into the couch and watches as you pass him with your pancakes and take a seat beside Elijah. "I'm too lazy to go do that though."

The queen grabs her food and sits down on one of the chairs. "Then don't complain. You have no one to blame but yourself."

You're just about to ask where Ambrose is when, of course, you're reminded he always needs to make his dramatic entrance. "Good morning family." He chimes as he walks into the room, the doors bursting open and slamming into the wall as he does. He heads straight to the table and begins to fill up his plate.

"My god." Kai groans and rubs at his temples. "Why are you so loud so early in the morning?"

With your mouth full of pancake, you point at the clock on the wall. "It's 12pm."

Elijah grins. "Are you hungover?"

You gasp and lean forward. A sinister smirk crawling on your lips. "Did you throw up in front of Amara?"

Kai deadpans over to you. "Ha ha, very funny." He snaps. He then scratches the back of his head and looks away. "I actually threw up after she left. Like as soon as she stepped out the gates."

The queen turns to him. "Malakai. How much did you have to drink last night for you to throw up? In front of a princess too to make matters worse."

His fist comes down on the table. "I didn't throw up in front of her!" You and Elijah both exchange looks and snicker. Kai shoots the both of you a chilling look. "Besides, I only drank so much because Amb—"

Ambrose then interrupts him but smacking the back of his head "accidentally" with his plate as he passes by and then takes a seat beside him on the now vacant space besides Kai. "Maybe I should teach you how to be more smooth around the ladies, little brother."

You look at Kai when you realize he was about to say something before he was interrupted. You were surprised he allowed Ambrose to just shut him up like that and knew there had to be something going on between them. You could tell because Kai immediately scoots away from him and turns his head away to avoid looking at him. Did they get into a fight maybe?

Whatever happened, you knew it was Ambrose's doing. Kai wasn't the kind to start fights, he didn't care enough to. But he was the kind to defend himself which was why you found it odd he was being so submissive right now.

"Speaking of ladies," You lean forward and set your elbow on your crossed legs. "Ambrose. How was it introducing Princess Anastasia to mom and dad?" You grin.

His cocky smile drops and his eye twitches as he tries not to jump across the table and choke you. Your mother looks up from her cup of tea. "Princess Anastasia of Levison? I didn't know you were interested in her."

Ambrose's sharp jaw flexes. "I'm not."

Elijah smirks, basking at the opportunity to torture his younger brother some more. "Don't be shy Amby, tell us all about it."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Ambrose shouts. Amby was a nickname you gave him years ago as a toddler and he absolutely hated it. Kai and Elijah found it hilarious and stuck with it.

You and Kai both start pumping your fists in the air. "AMBY, AMBY!" Elijah joins in too. "AMBY! AMBY!"

Ambrose snaps his head to his mother beside him and uses his hand to point in the direction of his siblings. "Ma!"

She shrugs and smiles. "I think it's an adorable nickname, sweetheart."

You set your now empty plate down on the table in the center and stretch your arms upwards. "Man, that was good."

You lay your head on Elijah's lap, almost knocking his plate out of his hands. "Eli, feed me grapes."

He scoffs and pushes you off of him, your body falling off the couch and crashing straight onto the floor. You whine and sit up. "Hey!"

"Good morning everyone. Or should I say afternoon." Your father enters to room. You immediately shoot up from the ground. "Elijah pushed me to the floor."

Your mother stands up and walks over to him. "Would you like me to fix you up a plate, my love?"

You pay extra close to how they interact now. You never paid much attention to it but now that you know your mom was forced to marry him without choice and "learned to love him," you couldn't see them the same. You wanted to see exactly how it was possible for her to learn to love him after initially being terrified of him.

He smiles gently at her and his large hand meets her shoulder, his thumb rubbing the soft fabric of her dress. "If you'd be so kind." He kisses the top of her head. "Thank you."

You catch yourself smiling. It was a wife's duty to serve her husband but you could tell your mom genuinely wanted to do it, not just because she had to. And you could also tell he greatly appreciated it. From the simple touch on her shoulder to the kiss on her head, you could tell he really did love her and her him. Maybe she was right, you really could learn to love someone after a while.

He walks over to you and pats the top of your head. "I don't think he pushed you off him for no reason, little one."

Your mouth drops open and you turn to Elijah who smiles smugly at you. It was convenient your dad just called you that because that was the nickname Elijah always called you.

Your dad was originally the one who started calling you that since not only were you the youngest but also the smallest of your brothers. Then Elijah started to call you the name as joke to tease you but it eventually just stuck. It was better than the nicknames Ambrose usually called you which were always demeaning in some way.

"I heard Prince Phoenix is staying in Eldia for a few days to get to spend some more time with you." Your father says as he sinks into one of the sofa chairs. He smiles at his wife who hands him a plate.

Ambrose's ears perk up like a dog. "Prince Phoenix? Where is he from?"

Elijah speaks up. "Cicily Island. Toward the Caribbean." Elijah was notorious for knowing every single kingdom that existed. Mainly because he was forced to know them all.

"Hm." Ambrose thinks. "That's a pretty rich island, isn't it? One of the largest exporters in the world." His eyes meet yours. "And he's interested in y/n?"

You glower at him. "Is that so surprising?"

Kai sits up straight. "Wait. Why is he coming? Is that the guy who is going to marry y/n?"

The room seems to go silent. All three of your brothers stare at your parents as they await confirmation. Solana clears her throat. "Yes. He's coming to spend some time with her before he proposes."

Even though she temporarily broke the silence, no one else says another word. Not even Ambrose to your surprise and that's because he always had something to say.

"How far is Cicily Island?" Kai asks, his voice was soft and low like he was sort of hoping no one would hear him and he wouldn't have to hear the answer.

Elijah sets his plate down, no longer having much of an appetite. "Pretty damn far. You have to go across the whole Caribbean sea."

You could feel the gloomy tension that swarmed around the room. You could also feel everyone's sad eyes peering into you but you refused to meet any of their eyes. "I'm just a ship ride away." You try to be optimistic and lighthearted.

"A very long ship ride." Elijah corrects. "It'll probably take two weeks to get there. One if the weather isn't bad."

"I think I need to walk off all that food." Your father announces as he rubs his belly. He turns his face to the side to face his wife beside him. "Let's say we go for a walk, you and I."

She smiles like a teenage girl and stands up. "That sounds like a good idea." She holds out her hand to help him up and then the two are out the door. "We'll be back."

You wait for them to be out of earshot before you turn to your brothers. "Now that they're gone, you guys wanna do something fun?"

Elijah laughs. "I don't think we have the same definition of fun anymore."

You sit beside him and hold onto his arm. "Aw come on, Eli. Let's be kids for a day. Aren't you tired of always being so mature all the time?"

He looks at you and sighs. "Okay, what do you want to do?"

You stand up. "Let's play all the games we used to play as kids! Well, the ones you guys used to play."

Your three brothers exchange dubious looks and grunts of disapproval. Your shoulders sag. "Come on, you guys used to never let me play with you as kids. I'm going to leave soon and I want to at least play all the games just once." You intertwine your hands together. "Just today, I promise. After that, I'll leave you guys alone forever."

Kai sighs and stands up. "Okay, everyone up. Come on." He walks over to the balcony and breaks off four branches from the nearest tree he could reach from. He then gives everyone a stick. "First game is Fight to the Death."

"Fight to the Death?" You ask as you look down at the branch in your hands. "Is that the one where you pretend to be guards?"

Kai nods. "We used to pretend these were swords and if someone touched you with their stick, you have to be part of their team and help them attack another person, you keep gathering more and more people until it's your team against one last person. Then you fight to the death."

Ambrose stands up now. "I would always win."

Elijah gets up too. "Yeah because you would always cheat."

Ambrose scoffs. "Whatever you need to tell yourself. Where are we playing at?"

Already half way out the door, you point to the hallway. "We should play in the hallway so it'll be harder. Less room to run away."

The three boys follow you out of the room and into the hallway. You felt excited yet anxious at the same time. These three have played this game for years but this will be the first time for you. You knew you were going to be the first one they tried to take out for that exact reason. So, you refused to let them catch you.

The hallways in the castle were normally pretty wide but not nearly as wide enough for four grown adults to run around chasing eachother with sticks. That, in your opinion, made it even more fun.

"Swords ready." Kai announces once everyone stands at opposite sides of the hall. You eye your brothers carefully and they do the same. Adrenaline shot through your veins and you bounced your leg as you become overflowed with energy. "Go!"

As predicted, all three of them go straight to you since you were telepathically deemed as the easier target. Since you saw this coming, you had already planned four different kinds of escape routes for each alternative route they took.

You dodged and weaved them and since they all rushed toward you at the same time, they ended up all together at the same end of the hallway while you remain untouched at the other end.

Kai's mouth drops open as he spins around and sees he completely missed you. Elijah takes this as a perfect opportunity to take advantage of his occupied mind. He stabs Kai's rib with his stick and the falsely injured boy yelps. "Hey!"

Eli winks and Kai's shoulders sag as he joins Elijah on the right side of the hall now that he was forced to join his team. Now it was Elijah and Kai vs You vs Ambrose.

"Get Ambrose first." Elijah orders. "Y/n is too quick. If we get Ambrose on our team, it'll be three against one and there's no way she can beat those odds."

Ambrose cackles. "You're underestimating me."

The two boys charge toward Ambrose and they begin fighting with their sticks as if they were actual swords. One of the classes you all had to take growing up was fencing so each one of you knew how to fight with swords pretty well.

The fight goes on for about two minutes and you debate on just attacking them from behind while they're distracted so you can win but you're too entertained by the fact Ambrose was taking on two people so effortlessly.

Well, not so effortlessly. Ambrose's stick gets knocked out of his hand and right before one of them attacks him, he runs over to you and rips your stick out of your hand. He grabs you from behind and holds the stick to your throat. "Touch me and the princess gets it."

"You can't take hostages!" Kai protests, his foot stomping on the ground. "I would've done that a long time ago!"

"To beat the villain, you have to be the villain." Ambrose says, in his most philosophical voice that he always does when he wants to sound wise. You try to wiggle out of his grip but he holds you tightly.

Elijah steps forward and Ambrose steps back, dragging you along with him. He presses the stick closer to your neck. "I'll cut this bitch. Don't think I won't." He warns.

You smack your lips. "No way you made me the damsel in distress." You stomp hard on his foot with your heel and he yells loud, the sound echoing down the hall. While he hops around on one foot, you snatch the stick back and poke him hard around the stomach area.

You're about to cheer that you got him when Elijah stabs you in the back causing you to jump practically two feet in the air.

A gasp slips out your mouth and you stumble backwards. "You stabbed me in the back?"

Elijah shrugs. "Sorry, little one. You were a noble sacrifice for the greater good."

You pretend to bleed out as if he actually pierced you with a real sword, making sure to put on your best performance.

You were stepping backwards and not watching where you were going when you step on Ambrose's foot again. You quickly spin around. "Whoops, sorry."

He hits you. "Watch it, idiot. I lost because of you." You rub at your arm. "Ow, dumbass." You return a similar smack on his arm.

"Why are you acting like that shit hurt?" He snaps as he hits your other arm.

You smack his head. "Just because it doesn't hurt me, doesn't mean you get to hit me."

The two of you exchanges slaps until you break out into a full on fight and he throws his arm around you, embracing you in a head lock.

Elijah and Kai just stand to the side and watch as the two of you wrestle and bump into nearby statues and vases. "Should we stop them?" Eli asks.

"Guys, stop." Kai says with little to none force in his voice. It was practically a whisper. The sound of you and Ambrose scuffling around was much louder. Kai then shrugs. "Oh well, I tried."

Ambrose bumps into a vase that shatters completely onto the ground. Elijah sighs and leans up against the wall. "I'm gonna miss this."

You and Ambrose pause mid fight, his hand pushing your face away from his and your hand grabbing a fist full of his curly hair.

"Us being like this." Elijah continues. "It's going to start happening less and less now."

You pull away from Ambrose and adjust yourself by fixing your dress and hair. He does the same.

Kai kneels down and begins to pick at the broken glass scattered across the floor. "I wish it'd never end. I wish we could've stayed like kids forever." His eyes meet yours. "This time with you around."

Sundays were special to you because it was the one day that you got a glimpse of what it would've been like if you had been raised normally alongside your brothers.

You always imagined how different things would be if they had been like this with you from the start. If they accepted you into their group years ago. Would you have been even closer than you were now?

Your brothers, whether they admitted it or not, felt the same way. They loved spending time with you now and often felt regretful that it took them this long to realize that they did. They regretted not letting you join them sooner when they were actually able to do young, dumb stuff. When they had the freedom to make mistakes and run outside for hours without having to worry about any grown up responsibilities.

You kneel down and help Kai pick up the pieces. Elijah does the same but not before he looks up at Ambrose who looked a hot mess since you messed him up pretty good. "You going to help? You're the one who dropped it."

"Me?!" Ambrose shouts. He shoots a finger right at you, just inches away from your nose. "She pushed me into it."

"And I'm helping pick up the pieces, aren't I?!" You shout back at him. He closes his mouth firmly and mumbles some incoherent insults under his breath before he begins to help pick up the glass.

You're almost done picking up every last piece when your parents return like they said they would. Your mother had a gorgeous red rose in her hands and a giddy smile on her face. Your father walked beside her, a much softer smile on his.

You quickly hide all the broken glass in another vase nearby and pray she doesn't notice the missing one on the opposite side of the hall. "Enjoy your walk?" You ask.

"Yes, we did. It's a lovely day outside." Your mother answers. Suddenly, one of her eyebrows raise. "What happened to the other vase?" of course she noticed immediately. If you haven't noticed already, your mother was very much OCD about everything.

Kai clears his throat to speak up. "What other vase? Wasn't there always just one?"

She frowns and walks over to the pedestal where the shattered vase used to sit proudly. "I know for a fact there was one here." She turns to her children and her signature death stare takes form. "What happened to it?"

You and Ambrose at the exact same time point fingers at each other. "She did it." "He did it."

"Are you serious? Me?! You're the one who dropped it!" You argue. Ambrose turns to you. "You pushed me!"

You cross your arms and try to stand as tall as you can. "You're a grown ass man letting your little sister push you around? That's kinda pathetic."

He grits his teeth. "Watch your mouth!" The two of you begin to argue once again and Elijah sighs and covers his eyes with his hands. He then looks at his parents. "I'm sorry, I'll handle it."

Solana shakes her head. "Actually, I have something else I need you to do. Princess Blair is here to see you."

You immediately stop arguing with Ambrose when your ears perk up at the sound of another girl's name. "Who's Princess Blair?"

"Isn't that the girl Elijah is supposed to marry?" Kai asks.

You run up to your parents. "She's here?!" Elijah walks up to you and palms your forehead to push you back a couple steps. "Don't even think about it. Stay your ass here."

Before he walks away, he turns around to face his other two siblings. "That goes for you two too."

Your body twitches as you fight the urge to follow your brother. You look over at Kai and Ambrose who have the same look on their faces.

"I have to use the restroom." You announce in your best nonchalant voice possible.

The queen quickly notices what you're up to. "Aht, hold it." She steps in front of you. "Let your brother talk to her alone."

You throw your arms out. "Do you want me to pee myself?!" You walk past her and your father quickly but slow enough to not look suspicious before they can say another word.

"I kinda feel like going for a walk." Ambrose says aloud. "Kai, want to join me?" He already begins walking down the hall before Kai can even answer. Kai looks at his parents. "We'll be on a walk." He speed walks to catch up to you and Ambrose.

King Hendrix looks at his wife. "Should we stop them?" Queen Solana inhales sharply before letting out a deep breath. "Let's take a nap instead. Come on."

Once you're out of sight, you pick up the ends of your dress and run down the halls in attempt to catch Elijah and Princess Blair. You can hear the sound of heavy footsteps chasing after you and you don't even need to turn around to know who they belong to.

You're about to turn the corner when you gasp and stop. You press your back against the wall and hide before Elijah can see you. You bring your finger to your lips once your brothers catch up to you.

Peeking your eye around the corner, you see a beautiful girl in a blush pink dress handing Elijah a gift. You didn't know what it was but the box it came with looked expensive all on its own so you couldn't even imagine what was on the inside.

Kai kneels down on the ground and uses his hands to hold on the corner of the wall to peek his head past it. "What do you think is in the box?"

You hover above him, slightly bent at an angle. "I don't know. Oh! Maybe it's a puppy!"

Ambrose smacks his lips and peers around the corner, his body above yours. "Why the hell would she get him a dog?"

If Elijah were to turn around right now, he'd see three heads poked around the corner, one on top of the other. You laugh a little when you try to imagine how you all look from his point of view.

Kai hums. "Maybe it's a decapitated head."

You look down at him. "Out of all the things you could've guessed, your best guess was a chopped off head?"

Kai snaps his head around. "Ow! You're digging your elbow into my back!"

"That's because Ambrose's fat ass is on me!" You yell in a hushed voice when you remember you're supposed to be quiet.

"FAT?!" Ambrose yells. It completely seemed to slip his mind that you were currently spying on someone right now and had to be extra quiet. That, or he just didn't care anymore. He hits you hard on the back of your head.

You hit him back. "What did I say about hitting me?!"

Kai shushes both of you. "Can you guys stop it?!" When he turns around to hit the both of you, he slips and lands flat on his face. Since your balance was depending on his, you fall too causing Ambrose to crash down to the floor as well.

You hoped that the three large bodies crashing into the polished floors wasn't going to be too loud and maybe it wasn't but the sound carried throughout the halls amplifying the noise. That and Kai screaming like he's being murdered when two people fall right on top of him.

Elijah and Blair both turn around immediately. You gasp and pull your brothers by their collars to hide behind the corner again. "Do you think he saw us?"

"What do you think?!" Ambrose snaps. "The sound of your fatass hitting the ground can be heard all the way from fucking Cicily Island."

Kai, who was now in the middle of you and Ambrose and sitting on the floor, pokes a finger in the air as he tries to get a word in. "Actually, she fell on me, not the floor so..."

Your mouth drops open, completely ignoring Kai and going straight to Ambrose's insult. "WHAT?! It's all your fault! If you weren't so heavy, we wouldn't have fallen!"

"If you weren't such a fucking clutz, we wouldn't have—" Ambrose starts to argue.

"Oí."

All three of you practically break your necks as your heads spin around and see Elijah towering over all three of you who were squatting on the floor. "What did I tell you about following me?"

Elijah was normally a chill person. Not as chill as Kai but he was the kind to not bother you as long as you didn't bother him. He was about his peace and personal space. He also hated when people didn't listen to his wishes. Since he was the oldest of all of you, he had a certain kind of intimidation about him.

You had always respected him and even though he was always nice to you, he was also kind of scary. Ambrose and Kai were also scared of him whether they admit it or not.

You knew this was true because as Elijah stares down at all three of you, not a single word comes out of any of you.

Once Elijah was annoyed or mad, it was usually really hard to shake him. The best solution was to apologize and just let him cool down. Of course, none of your brothers had the ability to put their pride aside and apologize so they always looked for a quicker route to take.

Elijah had one weakness known to man and it was his little sister. Kai elbows you and mutters under his breath. "Say something."

In all honesty, you had no idea what to say. Elijah was too smart for you to try to come up with some elaborate bullshit excuse or lie to what you three were doing when it was completely obvious.

So instead, you just get up and run past him, heading straight for Blair. The girl looks almost scared when she sees you run up to her. "Hi." You smile. "I'm y/n."

"Oh, hi." She smiles bashfully. "I'm Blair." You grab a lock of her hair and twirl it around your finger. "You're really pretty."

She begins to stutter and looks away from you, no longer being able to meet your eyes. "Thank you. So are you."

You grin. "Want to go on a walk?" Blair looked like she was the perfect match for Elijah. She seemed soft spoken and timid. A refreshing change from the rowdy members of his family he has to deal with everyday. She also had much softer features and was dressed in pastel colors and wore a ribbon in her hair.

Elijah steps in between both of you. "Go away."

Ambrose and Kai were now standing behind you, using you as a shield and wanting to get better seats of the show. You frown. "What? You don't want me to get to know my future sister-in-law?"

He narrows his eyes. "I know what you're doing. Plus, she has to go back home. She was only in town for your birthday ball, she came to say goodbye before she goes back."

Ambrose steps out from behind you. "Leaving so soon?" Kai does the same. "Come on, Eli. You don't want your girlfriend to spend time with us? Are you embarrassed of us or something?" He fake pouts.

Elijah began to fume but was trying to keep it well hidden. "Yeah, I am." He points at Kai's pants. "Your pants are unzipped." He then points at Ambrose. "Your hair looks like you just woke up and your lip is bleeding." Ambrose frowns and touches his lip while fixing his hair.

He saves you for last. "And you."

You bat your eyes innocently. He just glares. "Stop trying to flirt with her."

Your mouth drops open and the boys burst out laughing. Your eyes shoot straight to Ambrose. "Be quiet before I make your busted lip even worse."

Blair giggles. "Your family seems so fun." She admits. Elijah rolls his eyes. "Just wait until you realize they have no boundaries and the definition of personal space doesn't exist to them." He begins to lead her down the hall and Blair waves goodbye. "It was lovely to meet all of you!"

You stand there in awe. "So that's the soon to be queen of Elida, huh?" You could feel a weird sensation scatter across your chest. One would describe it as jealously.

"You wish that was you, huh?" Ambrose smirks. You punch him in the gut and he groans and crouches down.

In reality, he was right. You did wish it was you. Not in some disgusting way like marrying your brother but you did want to be queen in your own way. You knew you'd be one somewhere else but Eldia was your home. It just seemed right to be queen here. It felt wrong for some random girl from far away to take your mother's place. A girl who didn't even know anything about Eldia.

But that's probably exactly how the citizens of Cicily Island feel about you. Some random princess shows up out of nowhere and claims the throne as queen. So maybe you really weren't one to talk.

After a couple more minutes, Elijah returns back to join the rest of you, Blair no longer in sight. "Where did your little girlfriend go?" Ambrose asks.

"More importantly," You speak. "What was in the box?"

Elijah ignores both questions. He claps his hands together. "Okay, what's next on the list? We already played Fight to the Death. Now what?"

Kai's eyes somehow meet with the ballroom a couple doors down. "Let's go pretend to be mom and dad. We haven't done that in a while."

All of your eyes light up and you rush into the ballroom ensuring the door is shut behind you. You wouldn't hear the end of it if your parents found out you and your siblings were mimicking them and messing around on their intangible thrones.

Elijah sits on the larger throne that was fit only for a king. His back sinks in the red velvet and his arms lay comfortably on the gold armrests. He looked just like your father only 20 years younger. "I guess I should get used to this."

"The similarities are uncanny." You point out. It was even weirder when you realize his birthday and your father's are only two days apart so they were basically the same person.

Kai's eyes dart between you and Ambrose. "Both you and Ambrose look just like mom." You take a seat on your mother's throne and sit with your back impossibly straight just like she does. You lift your chin up high and clear your throat as you attempt to do your best impression of her. "Y/n, sit up straight. Princesses do not slouch."

Ambrose tries to make his naturally deep voice much higher. "Kai, take your hand out of your pants. It's a sin to touch yourself inappropriately."

"THAT WAS ONE TIME!" Kai defends. "And I was like 10!"

You giggle and hop off the throne. You furrow your brows together and point a warning finger at Kai. "Malakai, stop sleeping so much. And stop talking with your mouth full. Fix your hair. Use your manners."

"Elijah, stop having fun. Kings don't have fun." Kai crosses his arms and puffs out his chest.

Ambrose gasps, his hand over his heart. "Our children are actually enjoying themselves?!?!"

Elijah points at you. "Who let this one loose? Where's her leash?"

Your mouth drops open and all four of you burst into fits of laughter. You spend about another hour just mocking your parents and acting super prestigious and high class. If they walked in right now, all four of you would be shitting bricks.

Once the commotion dies down, you all begin to discuss on what to do next. The boys played a various amount of things as children so the options were honestly endless.

You shoot up. "Let's do pranks!" You lock your hands together in a begging pose. "Please, please, please."

You had recalled seeing your brothers pull infamous pranks as children. A lot of the times, the pranks were on you. It was also what got them in trouble most often. Which is what made you more envious that you couldn't participate.

"Fine. We should invite Jean." Elijah says as he fixes his hair in a nearby mirror.

"No!" Both you and Kai say simultaneously. The
two of you exchange looks while the other two stare confused.

You quickly try to come up with some kind of explanation for your abrupt objection. "I mean, it's his day off. We should let him relax."

Elijah disregards your feeble attempt. "He can rest when he's dead. Go get him. It doesn't feel the same without him."

You dig your nails into your palm to pressure your brain into getting out of this but nothing comes to mind. Plus, the more you tried to avoid the task, the more obvious it was going to become that you didn't want to do it for a reason. "Okay."

"I'll go with you." Kai offers, which you found weird considering it seemed he didn't want Jean to come either for some reason. He seemed just as anxious as you were but doing a much better job at hiding it.

You nod and begin to lead the way toward the other side of the castle. Kai follows idly beside you. "Want to go sneak food from the kitchen instead?" He asks. "We can just say we couldn't find him or he was busy."

You smile with relief. "Okay." Then it hits you that he doesn't want to see Jean just as bad as you don't want to. But why? They were best friends and used to be practically inseparable as kids. You can't recall the last time you saw Kai avoiding him like this. You don't think it's ever even happened.

The two of you walk in silence until you break it. "I know why I'm avoiding him but why are you?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He says point blank. You, obviously being you, don't take that as an answer. It was going to bother you all day if you didn't figure it out. "Just tell me."

He turns to you, face brooding. "Why are you avoiding him?"

Your mouth seals tightly. "None of your business." You grumble in a low voice.

"Then mind your own too." He snaps back.

For a moment you debate on actually just dropping the subject so you didn't have to explain why you were so embarrassed to see Jean but you can't help it. If a fight happened between the two of them, the two who rarely ever fought, it must've been something pretty serious. Especially for Kai who was always so nonchalant to be so edge about it. Kai also always told you everything so it worried you he didn't want to tell you about this. "Just tell me what's wrong." You plead.

He glares at you and you pout at him. A look that never failed to make any of your brothers do whatever you wanted them to do. He sighs and turns away from you. "I had a talk with him and it was kinda intense. I feel like he's probably mad at me right now."

"A talk? About what?" Kai wasn't the lecture type so this just kept getting weirder and weirder.

He shakes his head. "I'm not supposed to tell you."

Okay, now you really, really wanted to know. Why weren't you allowed to know? Was the talk about you? "I thought we tell eachother everything." You remind him.

He glances at you, a vexed look on his face. "Don't do that."

You keep going. "What happened to us against the world, huh?"

"Stop." He warns. You stop walking. "Did that promise mean nothing to you?"

He groans loudly. "Oh my god, okay! Come on." He grabs your arm and drags you into a room. Once the two of you are in there with the door closed, you sit down and he sits across from you. "Ambrose made me tell him to stop getting so close to you."

Your heart stops beating for a second. "What?"

Kai leans back into the chair and with his elbow up on the armrest, he rubs at his eye. "He saw you two dancing together and made me tell him something."

You could feel your legs fidget as they fought the urge to run back to the room and cuss Ambrose out for even meddling in something he knows nothing about. "Why didn't he just do it himself?"

"Because he said he already did warn him to not get so close to you but Jean still danced with you anyway." Kai explains.

You snort into your hand. Kai scowls at you. "It's not funny."

"It's kinda funny when you think about how mad he must've been that Jean didn't listen to him." You laugh freely.

Kai snickers a little. "Okay, it's kinda funny."

The two of you start to laugh as you begin to picture Ambrose's reaction. He was the most spoiled out of you four so he was pretty used to getting his way. It was very, very rare when he didn't and when that happened, it wasn't pretty. That's why you and him tend to argue a lot because he's entitled and you refuse to let him run all over you.

Once the laughter dies down, Kai's aura grows serious again. His eyes no longer are able to meet yours and instead he looks somewhere else. "You can't keep doing that with Jean."

"Why not?" You ask. "You do know telling me I can't do something makes me want to do it even more, right?"

He snaps his head toward you. "He's my bestfriend."

You shrug carelessly. "So?"

His sluggish posture straightens as he fills up with rage. "So?!" He then leans forward and uses his hands to talk like he's explaining to a child that what they're doing is wrong. "Look y/n, even though Ambrose made me do it because he felt Jean would listen to me, I meant everything I told him."

You were trying your best to remain calm and let him finish but it was so hard. If they somehow fucked up your friendship with Jean because of a misunderstanding, you were going to be pissed.

"He's my bestfriend and I don't want his life getting ruined because you're bored and want to mess with him." He continues.

You stand up from your chair. "You think that's what I'm doing? Just messing with him because I'm bored?"

He remains seated and calm. "Isn't that what you do with everyone else?"

You ball up your fists by your sides. "He's different."

He stands up now too. "That's what concerns me. I know he's different in your eyes. I don't want to know the reason why even though I feel like I already know. You can lie and say it's because he's been around longer but that's not true, is it?"

You press your lips together. He takes your silence as a yes. "I'm not only doing it for him but for you too. Don't you want to heal the world? Isn't that what you've always dreamed of? For years now, you've talked about leaving this place and helping the world. You can't do that if you stay here. I know you don't want to get married but if you do, you can leave this place and do all the things you've always wanted to. You can travel and see the world. Heal people. Your dream will come true."

You felt speechless. Which was odd because you usually always had a lot to say. But right now, you couldn't find any words to let out. You just felt scattered.

"We don't have bad intentions." Kai reassures you. "We're your brothers and we want to see you happy. We want you to get everything you've ever wanted."

I can't have everything I want. I either stay here with the people I love or I leave and follow my dreams. I'll either win some or lose some.

You felt like you were being pulled in two different directions. No matter what choice you made, it was going to feel like the wrong one.

What was it anyway that you really wanted? Kai is right, leaving Elida and traveling the world in attempt to help heal it has always been your dream. But getting married in order to do it wasn't part of the plan.

Not with Prince Phoenix at least.

"So Jean didn't mean to push me away last night. He just listened to your dumbass." You realize.

He returns back to his seat, no longer having energy for the conversation. "Hey, take it up with Ambrose. He wasn't going to stop bugging me if I didn't do it and I was trying to go with my girl."

Your mouth drops open. "My girl? MY GIRL?!?"

He looks away bashfully. "Shut up."

You rush past him and head for the door without second thought. "Hey! Where are you going?!" Kai shouts after you.

"Restroom!" You call back as you race down the hall. You run like your life depends on it towards Jean's room. You had no idea if he was even there but in the off chance that he was, you wanted to catch him before he went off somewhere else.

You almost bump into several things on the way as well as people and have to yell out apologies as you do.

When you finally make it in front of his room, you bend forward with your hands on your knees as you attempt to catch your breath. You then stand up straight and begin to knock rapidly on the door. You keep knocking until the door opens up, that's if it even does.

After about what felt like a trillion knocks on the door, it swings open. Jean stood there, his hair soaking wet, the water dripping down his face and bare body.

He had a towel wrapped around his waist and his upper body was fully exposed. Water droplets cling to his smooth, clean skin.

You didn't even realize you were staring nor did you know for how long either. You have seen Jean everyday for a pretty good chunk of your life but never, ever like this. This was the first time you ever saw him shirtless not to mention practically naked.

His body was extremely toned. You always knew he was fit because it was visible sometimes underneath certain things he wore but this was more than you expected.

His arms were like hills that dipped where his biceps curved and his muscles formed. His stomach was hard and you weren't sure if that was a six pack or not but you didn't want to just stare and count each one.

"You okay? Do you need something?" He asks.

You close your mouth that was practically hung open. You wouldn't even be surprised if you were drooling at this point. "Hi." Is all you manage to mutter out.

He laughs. "Hi. You alright? Why are you banging on my door like a crazy person?"

Why were you struggling to form words right now? Was it because this was the first time you saw him all day long? Or maybe the fact that he's completely naked and only covered by some skimpy towel that hung loosely on his hips, his V  line deliciously exposed.

You try your best to keep your eyes above but it was so tempting. You felt like an absolute pervert. But then again, who the hell answers the door like that? But again, who the hell bangs on the door like that anyway?

"Uh, do you want to hang out with us? I know you just showered but we were going to hang out outside for a little." You finally come back to Earth. You keep your eyes to the ground because no matter where you looked at him, whether it be his face or body, you completely lost your train of thought.

This is absolutely humiliating. Tell me you're a virgin without telling me.

"Sure." He says. "Let me just change." He's about to close the door but he stops midway when he sees you still standing there. "You don't have to wait. I'll catch up."

You stumble backwards, completely embarrassed with yourself. "Okay." God, you wanted to jump off a cliff right now.

As soon as the door closes, you run down the hall and when you're out of view and around the corner, you sit on the floor against the wall and cover your face with your hands. "Why am I so nervous?"

You've never been the type to get flustered or awkward around someone. Not even someone you liked. Take Mikasa for example, you had a huge crush on her at one point but you never got nervous or weird about it. If anything, you were more yourself and confident around her.

So what was it about Jean that made you act like a 10 year old seeing a cute boy for the first time?

You stand back up and walk up to one of the long mirrors off to the side. You fix your hair, lick your lips to bring some shine to them and pull the collar of your dress slightly lower to expose your chest a bit more. Finally, you suck your teeth to make sure you have nothing stuck in between them.

"What are you doing?"

You scream and jump around. You see Jean standing there, fully clothed now. You had already begun to miss the view. "How long have you been there for?"

"Just got here." He answers. His hair was still wet and you knew it was because he didn't get to properly dry it since you made him change quickly.

Your hand comes up to move a damp strand of hair from his forehead. "You didn't have to rush. You could've taken your time. Your hair is still wet and everything."

Jean shrugs. "It's fine. I heard its healthier to air dry anyway." You take in how he looks for a moment. He wore more casual attire since he was off the clock today. You had almost forgotten what he looked like outside of his uniform.

You turn your back toward him and start leading the way back to the ballroom. You walk just a few steps ahead of him just so he doesn't see the humiliated look on your face.

You could feel his eyes burn into your back and you try your best to walk as normally as possible knowing he's watching.

"You're not wearing a corset today." He points out. You feel a string of electricity shoot up your spine and up to the nape of your neck. "Nope."

You turn your face slightly to the side. "Thanks for that by the way. The corset last night. It was a lot easier to take off after you loosened those few strings."

He kept his eyes out the windows you passed by and his hands in his pockets. "Anything I can do to help."

You could feel yourself grow angry when you realize he's avoiding not only eye contact with you but also any flirtatious conversation with you. He was acting different and it only made you angrier that you knew why he was doing it. The usual fun, flirty vibe between you two seemed delicate and strained. The natural connection had became devastatingly artificial.

You could tell he was trying his best to act the way he always does but there was something different. It was like he was trying to not let your brothers' words get to him but they were.

Subconsciously, you take the heated emotion away before you end up exploding and taking it out on him when it really isn't even his fault. You knew first hand how persuasive your brothers could be. At first, you always thought maybe you were just that gullible but it seems that they locked Jean right in too.

You push the doors to the ballroom open and see the room is completely empty, your brothers nowhere in sight. You frown. "They were just here. Maybe they went outside already."

You walk around the ballroom just to ensure they're not hiding anywhere but after looking everywhere, it's evident they aren't. You walk up to one of the windows and see them down below, walking around on the grass. Kai had already joined them again too. "Assholes." You mutter. "They didn't even wait for us."

Jean's hand comes up to caress the arm rest of the golden throne. "You know, when I was younger, I always wanted to sit on this. Your brothers would always tell me to do it but I was always too scared."

You tilt your head toward it. "Sit."

He laughs. "Hell no. I might've gotten away with it if I did it as a kid but there's no way I can get away with it now."

You look around and even double back to the closed ballroom doors. "Come onnn, no one is watching."

Jean still didn't look too convinced, anxiousness written all over his face but his eyes twinkled with slight excitement so you try to persuade him a little more. "If anyone snitches, I'll rip their heads off."

His head snaps toward you and his thrill filled eyes stare at you like you're crazy. You roll your eyes. "I'm just kidding, obviously."

"Kinda." You mutter quickly before you grab his shoulders and walk him backwards toward the throne. "Come on." You push him down with all the force you have and he finally takes a seat.

Once he's finally seated and his nerves settle down, he sits more comfortably and royalty becomes him. You smile as you admire how natural he looked seated there.

"Well, how do I look?" He asks you.

"It suits you." You answer honestly. You take the crown off your head and place it on his head. Your crown wasn't nearly as prominent as a king's would be but it was close enough. "There."

Jean laughs as his fingers come up to feel the tiara sitting on top of his head. He then spreads his knees apart to sit manspread as he allows himself to take in the moment. "I could get used to this."

You couldn't control your lips as they curled into a smile. You could tell that by just the few seconds he was seated on this throne, he felt like the shit. You decide to help light fire to his burning imagination. "Look out the window like you're in a deep thought."

He sets his elbow down on the armrest and his hand cups his chin as he looks out the window and pretends to be really concentrated on something important. He really had the look down like nothing, it was almost scary.

"I'll pretend I'm a guard." You stand up straight to mimic the guards usual alert posture. "Quick! The kingdom is on fire! What do you do?"

Jean's instinctive, concentrated demeanor switches and he starts to panic. "Uh.."

You don't even give him the chance to fully think. Being a king meant making spilt second decisions after all. "You're too slow. 25% of the kingdom has already burned down."

"Wait!" He shouts.

You don't. "50% now. Oh my god, they're all screaming and crying." You tease him by putting on your most dramatic performance.

He grows even more stressed. "WAITTTT!"

"85% now. Will there be anyone even alive at this point?" You pretend to cry as you step closer to him.

He looks around frantically as if the answer is somewhere hidden in this room. "I would—"

You sigh and speak completely monotone. "It's too late now. Everyone is dead and the kingdom of Eldia no longer exists."

He stares at you with eyes blown and mouth open, completely lost on what just happened. He then tugs at the collar of his shirt and begins to pull it back and forth to cool himself. "Is it hot in here? I feel like I might pass out."

You try your hardest not to laugh or smile. "Did I freak you out?"

He sighs. "A little bit, yeah." He pulls the crown off his head. "This shit is pretty stressful."

You step in front of him. "I'm so sorry, your highness. Is there anything I can do to relieve you of your stress?" You bat your eyes at him and kneel in front of him, your hands placed on each of his knees that were still pulled apart from eachother. "I'll do anything."

You expected him to get all nervous and fidgety like he normally does when you make lewd comments like this to him but instead he just smirks down at you. "You got really got the entire world fooled, don't you?"

Keeping your eyes up at him, your fingers trace circles around his knees. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Your index finger slowly creeps up to his thigh. "I'm just trying to help."

The doors suddenly come open and you quickly switch spots with Jean. You sit down firmly on the throne and throw Jean to the side and he stumbles a little but catches himself right on time. You see your parents slip past the door and you look at Jean and cross your arms. "No, Jean, I won't get off."

Jean who was already throwing up on the inside, sighs with relief when you cover up the situation quickly. The king approaches the two of you with his wife along side him. "Y/n, why are you in my seat?"

You shoot Jean a look that subliminally said for him to play along. "I tried to get her off, I'm sorry, your majesty." He catches on.

Queen Solana shakes her head. " Y/n, you should really start listening to Jean more."

You walk behind their backs to where they can no longer see you. Even though your next words are toward your mother, you keep your eyes on Jean. "What do you want me to do? Get on my hands and knees and obey his every command?"

The color drains from Jean's face and he looks like he really might faint. It was funny because he knew exactly how you meant it even if your parents didn't. They after all still believed you were completely innocent and oblivious to anything sexually related. Jean knew better though.

"No, I'm just saying you need to respect him some more." She corrects you.

You grab Jean's  arm and drag him toward the door. "He'll be fine. He can handle it, right?"

"Y/n."

You and Jean both freeze. You try your best to remain casual as you turn around. "Yes?"

She holds up your crown. "You forgot this."

Shit.

You prayed they wouldn't think too hard on the fact you and Jean were alone in this room and your crown was placed off to the side, practically forgotten. The fact that Jean's face was completely flushed didn't help either.

You tense up as you walk over to her and she gently places the crown back on your head and graces your cheek. "Beautiful."

That was a good sign. Even your father was sitting back in his throne like nothing, not a single negative suspicion in his mind. They both must really trust Jean. Little did they know he was practically undressing you last night.

The two of you successfully walk out the room and head down the hall to meet the boys outside. "Looks like you and your mom are getting along well." Jean points out. You gaze up at him. "Why wouldn't we?"

He looks away, almost ashamed of himself for even bringing it up. "Because of what you heard yesterday."

You look down to your feet as they turn the corner. "Oh right. That. We already talked about it."

He stops abruptly and gently grabs your shoulder to stop you from walking. "Wait, you brought it up to her?!"

"Yeah." You tiptoe slightly to pluck a loose eyelash from his cheek. "She gave me this
whole speech about how she's proud of me and she once was in my position and blah blah."

He stares at the lash between your fingertips and rubs at the skin under his eyes just in case there's more stray lashes. "That doesn't sound too bad. It sounds like it went well."

You scoff. "It was horrible actually." You hold the lash up to his face. "Make a wish."

He closes his eyes and blows the lash away from your fingers. You really wanted to ask what he wished for but you knew he wouldn't tell you. "She tried giving me the sex talk." You mention as the two of you begin to walk down the hall again.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" He laughs.

You cringe. "Not from her. Besides I already know what sex is. I just act like I don't because I'm not supposed to."

He stops again. "I knew it! There's no way you could say all those things without knowing about it. When I first got hired as your bodyguard, you said you didn't know anything about it but I knew you were lying."

"I didn't get the horse joke so I didn't completely lie but I do know a lot more than I act like I do. Plus, why would I have admitted that to you?" You answer back.

He looks at you up and down like he sees you in a whole new light now. You could also tell he was very proud of himself for being right after all. "So how did you learn all about this stuff?"

You take a deep breath before you begin explaining. "Well, Armin taught me biology and he obviously had to explain how we reproduce and I tried to squeeze as much information out of him as possible but he's super smart so that didn't work that well."

"But," You point a finger up in the air. "You'd be surprised how much a very bored girl locked in a castle can find out when she eavesdrops on conversations the guards have."

A grin spreads across his face. "Ahhh, so that's how you found out. You pick up on things quickly."

"I thought we already knew this." You brag as you start to walk away from him. He walks quickly to catch up to you. "But you are a virgin, right? That part wasn't a lie."

You found it absolutely hilarious how he was concerned about the fact if you were a virgin or not. For someone who claimed not to care, he sure did about a lot of things. "Yes, I'm a virgin. That wasn't a lie."

You decide to test him and see how much he really does care. "Well, not for much longer."

His proud smile drops. Got him.

"So you and this guy. It's really happening." He says with clear annoyance in his voice.

"He's coming tomorrow actually." You push further. You watch his movements carefully. His body language switched from casual and loose to stiff and tense. Even the tone of his voice changed. It almost sounded deeper now like he was getting mad or something.

He stands just a tad bit straighter. "To hang out or to propose to you?"

You have to pinch yourself to stop yourself from smiling. There was a clear shift in the atmosphere around the two of you and you noticed it feels the same way every single time Phoenix is brought up in the conversation. You could've swore it was a mix of jealously and protectiveness. The tension was heavy as he awaits your answer.

"To hang out with me, believe it or not. He knows I don't want to just marry a stranger so he's going to stay a couple days in Eldia so we can get to know eachother a little more." You finally answer.

He puffs air out his nose and turns away. "That's awfully nice of him." Sarcasm dripped from his words like venom.

You smile up at him. His annoyed expression remains the same. "What?"

"I said the exact same thing." You completely forget you both were supposed to meet your brothers outside and start heading back that way. "Anyway, it really is nice of him. Most princes aren't that considerate."

He doesn't say anything and just walks beside you with his face straight ahead. You admire his side profile for a moment while you can. He always had such sharp features but right now that he was obviously bothered, they seemed even sharper.

"So he's going to be coming here everyday or something?" He asks. He wasn't even trying to hide his bitterness at this point.

You grab on to the railing as you trail down the stairs. "I think so. I don't know for how long though. Until he falls in love with me or something, I'm guessing."

"That shouldn't take long." Jean says from behind you, just a few steps back. You stop on one of the final steps and turn your head back to look at him. "Why do you say that?"

He keeps going until he's on the ground floor and looks up at you, hand extended for you to take. "Because it's easy to fall in love with you."

He said it so casually that it felt like he didn't even think before he said it. Like it just slipped out without him even realizing it. You know this is true because his eyes shoot up at the exact same time yours do. "I mean so I've heard." He quickly tries to cover up.

You grin and take his hand to step off the final step. "Are you in love with me, Kirstein?"

"Yeah so tell Bird to not even bother. I've got it covered." He jokes. Even though you knew he was joking, butterflies flutter wildly in the pit of your stomach.

The two of you exit the doors and step out onto the patio area. The three boys were seated at a small picnic table drinking what looked like lemonade and eating fruit.

Elijah and Ambrose cheer when they see Jean but Kai just pretends to be extremely focused on Pascal, the family dog, who was chasing some birds.

Elijah tosses his arm over Jean's shoulders. "I'm surprised you're here on your day off. I would've thought you would've gone into town to visit your mom or something."

You grab a glass of lemonade from the small table and take large sips of it to calm your body temperature down. You were on the verge of confronting all of them about trying to ruin your friendship with Jean while they were all in the same place but you also really didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Or with Thalia." Ambrose sneers. You look up from your drink. "Who's Thalia?"

Jean wiggles out from Elijah's embrace. "No one important." The tone in his voice indicated otherwise. It was cold and detached. Short and stern.

"Are you sure?" Ambrose begins to instigate. "The person who took your virginity is pretty damn important."

Suddenly, your grip on the glass weakens and it slips right through your hands and crashes straight into the floor. All four of them look right at you. You stare down at the broken glass and start to slowly pick it up. "Sorry. It slipped out of my hand."

"Maybe we should keep you away from glass objects from now on." Elijah jokes. "That's the second thing you've broken today."

You're about to argue that the first time wasn't even your fault but you decide to just let it go. You really didn't even have the energy to start an argument with Ambrose who you just know would deny it was him who really broke the vase.

While picking up the small pieces of glass, you sneak looks at Kai and Jean who haven't looked at each other not once since they came into contact.

You overhear Elijah begin to explain the plan for today to Jean, informing him that today's purpose was to make you feel included in the things they used to play as children.

Jean looks at you briefly but you quickly look away and throw the glass into a nearby trash can. You dust your hands off to ensure there's no leftover pieces of glass. "Okay, what are we doing first?"

"Well, you wanted to do pranks right?" Elijah reminds you. Jean laughs. "Pranks? Damn, we really are going back in time, huh?"

Everyone takes a seat at the picnic table and you see Jean reach for the chair besides Ambrose and Elijah which happens to be the spot furthest from Kai. You race toward the spot and sit down before he gets the chance to take it for himself. Now he was forced to sit by Kai. "Sorry, I like this spot." You lie.

He presses his lips together but says nothing. Leaving him with no other option, he walks over the table to sit in the only vacant chair beside Kai.

When he takes his seat, Kai shifts in his seat, slightly moving away. Jean does the same. God, this is two grown men giving each other the silent treatment.

You wanted them to go back to normal. It wasn't going to be possible to have a good day if there was stiffness within the group. You tried to think of ways for them to let loose and the only thing you can think of is to make them laugh so hard that they completely forget everything else.

"I'll go first." You suggest. "Someone dare me to do something."

All four boys look in your direction, their hands on their chins as they try to think of something interesting to challenge you.

They look around the area for ideas, trying to find something wild but not too wild considering the game was barely starting. Eli's eyes catch Eren walking out the back door and heading toward the front gates. He then turns his head to you. "I dare you to make Eren scream somehow."

"Like scare him?" You ask.

Ambrose grows excited. "Yeah, scare him but not like popping out of nowhere and jumping in front of him. Scare him to the point where he panics and shits himself."

The group exchanges "Ouuus" and laughs with eachother. You twist your lips to the side and try to think of what possibly you could do to make Eren scream without literally jumping out and scaring him.

As far as you knew, Eren wasn't really scared of anything so you couldn't like pick up a bug and chase him with it. You try to recall if he has any weaknesses at all and the first thing that pops into your head is Mikasa. That was one thing that always made him lose his usual confident, bold exterior.

Your twisted lips turn into a fearful smile. "I think I know what to do." Without explaining further, you scoot your chair back to stand up. You call out the poor boy's name and wave your hand to call him over.

He jogs over to you and tilts his head up to say hello to the boys seated at the table. "What's up?"

You try to express yourself in your most somber way possible, your face solemn as you pull him off to the side for a more private conversation but careful enough to not pull him too far away so the boys can still overhear the conversation.

"Are you okay?" Eren asks, visibly concerned. You felt even worse for what you're about to do. You look down at your feet like you're struggling to break some bad news to him.

"There's something I need to tell you." You say in a serious tone. You pick your head up to look at him. "Don't freak out though, okay?"

He steps back a little bit. "Okay.."

You inhale sharply and let it out slowly. "Mikasa is pregnant with your baby."

He steps back even further and shakes his head confused, his dark, coarse eyebrows pinched together. "What? We haven't even had sex yet."

You suck in air through your teeth like you accidentally said something bad. "Oh. I think I have the wrong Jaeger then. You have a brother right?"

"WHAT?!" Eren screams as the top of his lungs. He grabs both of your shoulders. "This is a joke right?"

You look nervously at the group of boys a couple feet away and they all whistle and look around to play it off like they weren't ease-dropping. You turn back to Eren. "Well, atleast it's not your dad right?" You then bring a finger to your lips. "Even though, it could've maybe been him too. His last name is Jaeger too, huh?"

All the color drains from his face. "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"

The boys fail at keeping a low profile and begin to howl loudly with laughter, practically falling out their seats and banging their fists on the table in front of them.

His terrified, nauseous expression drops and he looks at the hysterical table. He looks back at you and his shoulders loosen. "Oh thank god. It's a joke right? Please say it was a joke."

"I'm sorry." You cry laughing. "I had to make you scream and freak out some how. Please don't be mad."

His hand comes up to his stomach. "I think I'm going to be sick." He then glares at the boys who still haven't stopped laughing. He walks up to Jean and smacks him hard on the back of the head.

Jean yelps and rubs the back of his head. "What the hell? Why do I get hit? I didn't do anything!"
Eren walks away without saying anything else, leaving Jean shouting after him.

After that, everyone takes turn doing dares, they only get even worse and more intense the deeper the game gets. Such as Jean daring Ambrose to flirt sexually with one of the older maids who quite literally faints and had to be sent home for the day.

Once the game comes to an end and everyone does about three different dares each, all of you watch as Pascal runs around and chases some birds that were peacefully picking at the grass for food.

"Let's race." Kai suggests. "Let's see who can run faster than Pascal and catch up to the birds."

Since you were surrounded by men, the air quickly filled with testosterone and competitiveness. They all toss insults at each other and each one swears they're the fastest.

You kick off your shoes so you don't have to run in heels and chase after your brothers and Jean who chase after the same birds Pascal chases after.

As they run in front of you, you realize you're seeing them do this in a whole new perspective. You were running with the wolves and not just watching from afar. You didn't feel like you were watching them through a screen or camera lens, you were right here with them.

You pause a bit to catch your breath but they keep going, refusing to lose the race to one another. You watch them quite literally run toward the sunset with a smile.

[play Good Days by Sza]

Your nostalgic mind begins to envision the men in front of you as children again. They all shrink down several sizes and their faces grow more youthful.

You can hear the sound of Kai's childish laughter as if he was 7 years old again. You remember hearing it all the way from your bedroom balcony.

It was nice to see them this way again. You thought you had forgotten how they looked back then but here they were all in their 10-13 year old bodies.

You knew it was just your mind imagining it but it felt so real. It really was like you went back in time and somehow convinced your brothers to let you join in like you always wanted to.

Jean no longer had facial hair, Kai's under eye bags weren't as bad, Elijah didn't have stress lines and Ambrose had baby weight again.

They ran around just like they used to back then. Like they hadn't aged almost 10 years. You even look at your shadow lined out in the grass and you had your younger figure once again as well.

Next, all of you begin to climb trees to see who can climb the highest. None of them have climbed trees in years and considering they weren't nearly as light as they were back then, the branches bend and crack under the weight of your feet and because of this, you, Eli and Kai all decide to not push your luck and make it as high as you possibly can.

Ambrose and Jean make it to the very top and Ambrose, being Ambrose, refuses to lose so he attempts to go even higher.

He stands on the very top branch which was scarily thin and laughs at Jean who was a couple branches lower. "Ha! Looks like somethings never—"

The branch completely snaps underneath his feet and he goes flying straight to the ground, yelling all the way down.

You slap your hand over your mouth as you try not to laugh. The others don't try to hide their amusement whatsoever.

Ambrose groans as he sits up, his hand cut up and his pants torn in the knee area. You sit down beside him and don't even ask before you start to heal him up. He grumpily looks away as you do.

Elijah crosses his arms and smiles. "You're lucky you have her as a sister. Your dumbass would've been dead a long time ago."

"Shut up." Ambrose hisses. Kai squats down to watch your hands work magic. "You could atleast say thank you, you know? She's done this a million times for you."

He grits his teeth, his pride wavering. "Thanks." He mumbles in the most quietest you've ever heard him.

"Hm? I didn't hear you?" You tease, bringing your ear closer to his face. He pushes your head away. "I said thanks, alright! I'd be dead without you, blah blah blah."

You pull your hands away once you're done and smile, embracing him in a overbearing hug. "Awww, Amby, you love me, don't you?"

He cringes. "Get her off me, I'm so serious."

You pucker your lips at him like you're going to kiss his cheek and he immediately screams and tries to escape your grip but you hold him tightly. "GET HER OFF!!!"

"But Ambrose, I love you." You pretend to whine as you snuggle into him. He screams some more. "I'm going to hit her, someone help me."

Your brothers and Jean find entertainment in his suffering and roar with laughter. You smile when you see Jean and Kai laughing together again, the awkward tension from before completely disintegrating.

Once Ambrose escapes your grip, he runs into the rose bushes and you chase after him. From there, a game of hide and seek begins, the seeker blindfolded and left to roam around the rose garden alone while the hiders are left to run around and make it harder for them to be found.

Then all of you go to the swings and take turns in sets of two to see who can jump off the swings and land the furthest. Considering right in front of the swings was the pond, Jean and Ambrose who were the most competitive and also had the longest legs, end up jumping too far and tripping into the water.

Everyone else decides to join them by jumping into the pond, completely ignoring the fact that their clothes will be completely drenched and just enjoying the moment.

You take turns playing chicken fight, splashing water at each other and the boys even attempt to drown each other at certain points.

You see Mikasa off in the distance, looking around the area as if she searching for you but considering you're in the middle of the large pond she can't find you.

You stomp out the water and rush toward her. "Come on, come play with us."

She frowns when she sees your soaked dress cling onto your equally as wet body. "What—"

Before she can say anything else, you're dragging her toward the rest of the group. The boys were out the water now and wrestling eachother on the grass.

Since Mikasa wasn't there from the beginning, you can't imagine her as a child so it was only right to return everyone else to their proper ages.

As much as you loved to see them all young again, you realize that you had fun this entire time regardless of how old you actually were.

Then you realize, you're not old at all even though it sometimes feels that way. You were only 19, Jean, Kai and Mikasa were just 21, Ambrose 22 and Elijah 23. You all still had your entire lives ahead of you.

You were spending so much time yearning for something as foolish as a fountain of youth or a time machine when youth was literally right before your eyes, here in the present.

10 years from now, you were going to look back and miss this and being this young just like you look back at 10 years ago.

You watch them go back to their original ages. They all grow about three feet taller and their bodies change drastically. They were no longer prepubescent kids but full grown men.

"Mikasa! Come here." Grown Kai calls. You watch as Mikasa joins them and you overhear them question her about who she thinks is the strongest out of all of them. You take a seat for second, taking your first break in hours and watch them all laugh together.

Jean comes up to you and holds out his hand. "What are you sitting down for? Come on. The day isn't over yet."

You look up at him from the ground and the sun shines behind his head, giving him a sort of halo effect, the sun rays making look almost angelic.

You take his hand and he lifts you up. He holds your hand for just a few fleeting seconds while you rejoin the group again.

You turn to say something to Jean but see he's no longer beside you. You search for him and finally find him admiring the view and sunset.

You just knew he was memorizing it all to paint it later. The way the sky melted into possessing shades of pink and orange. The way the trees swayed in the swift breeze. The way his childhood friends laughed in complete bliss.

He took it all in, a peaceful smile resting on his pretty pink lips. He turns you after he feels someone stare at him. "What?"

"Nothing." You smile innocently. "Just enjoying  the view same as you."

"Hm." He smirks. The two of you look back at your brothers and Mikasa. Ambrose and Elijah were singing a song horribly off key while Mikasa and Kai danced together along to the song.

Ambrose runs up to you and grabs your arm. "Come on, let's show them how it's done." Elijah does the same to Jean.

All of you dance along with your partners as you all scream the lyrics to a bunch of jumbled up songs. Acappella is even attempted as you all not only sing the lyrics but attempt to make the noises of guitars and drums and other instruments.

For an outsider's point of view, you all probably looked absolutely insane. But then again, they probably envied you at the same time.

You know this too because you at one point where the outsider watching them have fun and you remember how you yearned to know what it felt like.

You grab Mikasa and start to dance with her now. She spins you around in circles and you sing your heart out to her. She smiles brightly as she laughs at your off pitch singing and becomes a giggling mess as you spin and dip her like a prince would.

Everyone takes turns dancing with eachother and acting like complete fools, not giving a damn who sees or hears. Pure happiness radiated out of your bodies and melted into one large incredible mutual feeling of bliss.

You watch as everyone dances horrendously and it reminds you of how you and Jean danced the day of practice for your ball. The way you danced like idiots everytime Hitch looked away and how it was the most fun you've ever had in a while.

He grabs you just in time as the memory creeps into you mind and does the same moves he did that day. "Remember this?"

"How could I forget? You almost made me throw up." You laugh.

"Did I?" He asks. "I don't recall." He starts to spin you around endlessly like he did that time.

You watch as everyone continues to dance and take in the moment, the lowering sun setting into the horizon. You knew the day was coming to end and tomorrow was going to be the start of something new, that this was your last day truly enjoying yourself this freely.

Another thing you knew for sure is you really did hope he would paint this moment because you wanted to remmeber it forever in the devastating chance you ever forget it.

Sunset happens faster than you hoped and nighttime follows just as quickly. You dread the night coming to an end and fear that it meant everyone was going to go inside now but Elijah suggests a camp fire and everyone thankfully agrees.

All of you sit in front of the camp fire, the resilient flames illuminating the faces of the people around it.

Mikasa sat beside you to your left while Jean was to your right. The rest of the boys followed around the circle.

No one was really speaking, mainly because everyone was basking in the peaceful moment. Everyone seemed to be exhausted from the all the running around.

You take in their faces for a moment. Half of them stared into the fire, half up to the night sky. There was only the sound of the wood burning and fire crackling. The word tranquility is all that came to mind.

You had a lot of room in your heart so you loved a lot of people. But the people right here, seated beside you around the fire, they were special. They had their own specific chambers in your heart. Their names carved into the soft tissue forever. Their faces forever engraved into your mind.

"Promise me you will come visit me. All of you." You say suddenly.

They all look at you all at once but not a single one of them speaks. You stare into the fire, not really knowing where to look. "You guys are important to me. Each one of you. More than anyone else."

For some reason, it felt like some sadistic person turned off the oxygen in the area around you. "I don't want to forget how any of you look like or sound like. I want you in my life forever. You five are special to me."

They still don't say anything. You weren't sure if it was because they were respectfully waiting for you to finish or they genuinely didn't know what to say.

"Promise me you will come." You also weren't sure if it was because you were staring into the smokey fire for too long but your eyes started to blur. "It doesn't have to be every day but whenever you have the chance, promise you'll come."

You refused to look up no matter how much your eyes begged you to look away from the blazing heat. You didn't know what kind of expressions the people you were pouring your heart out to were making and you wanted to keep it that way.

It only took one sad face to make you break. It only took one of them to give you some pitiful, sorrow filled look and you would had to endure the agonizing truth.

The fact that no one was even saying anything made it even scarier. You had began to wonder if you were the only one devastated about parting ways with them. Like if your place in their lives was so insignificant that they wouldn't even realize you were gone.

Kai throws a rock at your lap where your trembling hands fumbled together. "You already know I'm going to go bother you all the time. I need an excuse to leave this place from time to time anyway. Besides, I heard the food is better over there too."

Mikasa smiles and scoots closer to you. She sneaks her arm through yours and rests her head gently on your shoulder. "If you ever need someone, I'm just a letter away. I'll go in a heartbeat."

Ambrose sighs and leans back, his shoulders relaxed. "I guess I'll go too. It'll give me something to do when I'm bored."

Elijah smiles somberly. "I'll go as much as I can before I'm king, lord knows I'll never have time after that."

You smile at all of them, your pessimistic doubts melting away. Everyone's eyes shift away from you and move toward something beside you. Then it hits you, Jean is the only one who hasn't said anything.

He seemed to have been somewhere else far away in his mind because when he looks up, he seems baffled by the fact everyone is staring at him. He quickly adapts to the conversation. "I'll have to check my schedule."

You shake your head as you laugh and rest your head on top of Mikasa's who was still using your shoulder as a pillow. Her hand that rested on your forearm wraps around it, squeezing it tightly. She even gets more closer than she already was. You just knew she was picturing you leaving already.

Your hand comes up to touch her cheek and you kiss the top of her head. You hadn't been spending as much time with her as usual because of her getting closer to Eren and although it made you a little sad, you were happy for her. It  gave you a sense of relief to know she was going to have someone to look after her once you were gone.

"By the way, you should go talk to Eren. I might've told him you were pregnant with his brother's child." You start moving away, preparing yourself for how she's going to react.

You were glad you did because she immediately screams out. "WHAT?!"

You scoot even further, bumping into Jean slightly as if he was going to protect you. "It was a dare!"

She groans and stands up quickly. "Ugh, y/n." She picks up the ends of her dress while she runs up the hill and heads back toward the castle to find Eren.

Everyone begins to laugh and you do the same. You weren't too worried about Eren being mad, he's not that stupid to believe Mikasa would actually get pregnant with his brother's child who she, for one, has never even met. Plus, you had already told him it was a joke.

As for Mikasa being mad, you weren't worried about that either. She'd get over it eventually. She was used to you doing things to annoy her. You didn't have enough fingers or toes to count the amount of times you've done things to irritate her and she never lasts mad at you.

"Well," Elijah stands up and brushes off his pants. "I'm going to sleep." He walks past the fire and when he's about to pass you up as well, he pats the top of your head like he always does. "I had fun today, thanks, little one."

Kai yawns noisily, his arms stretched out in the air and his open mouth taking up 85% of his face. "Me too. I'm worn out."

Ambrose scoffs. "When are you not?" He holds out his hand for Kai to help him up but his little brother just stares down at him with no expression before he just walks away. "Goodnight guys." He waves to you and Jean.

Ambrose drops his hand to the ground, completely offended that Kai didn't help him up but not really surprised at the same time. He stands up by himself. "Later losers."

All three of them walk back to the castle, surprisingly leaving you and Jean alone. You found it strange considering how they made it a big ordeal about you and Jean spending time alone together but they were probably too exhausted after the wild day that they didn't really think too much of it.

Oddly enough, you and Jean always managed to find moments alone together. It was starting to happen more and more often. Not that you were complaining. He wasn't bad company to keep. He wasn't bad on the eye either.

You cautiously glance at him without making it obvious. He had his hands above that fire basking in its warmth. The darker it got outside, the colder it did too.

"Are you cold? Do you want to head inside?" He asks you. You were positive he was only asking because he was cold and wanted to go inside.

You shake your head. "You can go ahead. I want to stay out here for a little longer."

"Well then here." He begins to pull his arms out of his coat. "Wear my jacket."

He leans forward to place your jacket around your shoulders but you lean back and wave your hands in front of you. "No, it's fine." You didn't want to take his coat from him when you knew he was already cold with it on.

"Oh, shut up." He says wrapping the jacket around you anyway. You pinch the material and bring it closer to your chest to cover you more securely. "Thanks." You mutter.

He sits back down beside you, a little further this time than he originally was and that's because he was already at a respective distance since your brothers were right there and had made it abundantly clear they were watching his every move.

You scoot much closer to him until your shoulders almost touch, maybe like two inches apart. He looks at you, brows together when you do. "Body warmth." You spew out an excuse. Technically, you're not lying.

He snorts. "Right." As he laughs, his shoulder gently bumps into yours and your cheeks raise in reaction. You felt like an idiot getting all giddy over a simple touch.

"Did you know there are 88 official constellations in the sky?" You tilt your head back to stare up at the stars. He does the same. "Really?"

You nod. "Mhm, I know all them too." You point over at one toward your right. "That one right there is Orion." You point in another direction. "That one is Andromeda. Over there is Aries. That weird looking one is Sagittarius."

Each time you moved your arm to point at different constellations, you briefly graze his arm each time. The two inch separation seemed to disappear completely.

Each direction you pointed, he'd lean toward that way. His face becomes dangerously close to yours as he tries to squint at one of the constellations. "Andromeda? That sounds cool."

You smile. "I always wanted to name my daughter that."

He looks at you wide eyed, like he's astonished by the fact you'd share something like that with him. "After the constellation?"

"After the galaxy. We're in the Milky Way Galaxy. There's billions upon billions of galaxies out there, I mean it's truly endless. Andromeda is the nearest, large galaxy next to ours." You inform him.

He stares at you for a second, his astounded expression never leaving. He then shifts his eyes up to the sky again. "Nearest? How close is it?"

You laugh, already picturing how he's going to respond. "It's 2.5 million light years away." His head snaps over to you. "THAT'S CLOSE TO YOU?"

You laugh even harder now. "It's as close as it gets."

He stares up to the sky with amazement, you could see the stars reflect in his eyes. They were sparkling along with the distant, twinkling balls of light above. "Wow. How do you know all of this?" He asks, impressed by your knowledge on the subject.

"I was locked in my room for a good majority of my life, in case you forgot." You remind him. "I'd
stare out the window for hours and just try to count all the stars. I'd, of course, always lose count so I started memorizing constellations to help me keep track."

You felt almost nerdy admitting this all to him but you were so excited because he seemed genuinely interested in a topic you loved to talk about. It wasn't often you found someone who didn't mind listening to your yapping. Even Kai and Mikasa had to tell you to shut up from time to time.

You never would've thought but it turns out, Jean Kirstein was a surprisingly good listener.

"Armin got me an astronomy book for my 16th birthday and I read it cover to cover." You add. You recall your 16th birthday for a moment while you're on the subject. Although you had just turned 19th a couple days ago, 16 felt like forever ago even though it has only been 3 years. "That feels so long ago."

Jean chuckles. "It's been a while, for sure. I started working here around that time."

That's right. You had forgotten that a few months after you had turned 16, Jean had returned to the castle as a member of the royal guard. He had just turned 18.

You could remember the first time you saw him vividly. He had look so different but exactly the same at the same time. He had gotten taller, had more facial hair and was visibly much older and stronger but he was still the same Jean Kirstein you had watched grow up alongside your brothers.

You're about to ask if he remembers that day. If seeing you for the first time in years was filed under the core memories of his mind like it was for you but part of you doesn't want to know the answer.

He does his best to act like he isn't cold but it was humorously obvious. You have three brothers and you know all too well they hate to admit when something is wrong. It's like it's unmanly to complain or something.

You roll your eyes and stand up. "Okay come on, let's go inside." He reactively forces his body to stop shuddering. "You sure?"

You fake a yawn and pick up the falling jacket sleeve from your arm. "Yeah, I'm pretty tired." You lie.

"Oh thank god." He mutters quickly under his breath as he stands up. He follows beside you as the two of you walk up the hill. He even speeds up in front of you so he can extend his hand out to you and help you up the steep hill.

When your hands meet, you clutch on to his tightly while he digs his feet into the ground to keep his balance for you. Once you're safely up, his hand wiggles to let yours go but you hold it for just a moment longer.

You had probably touched his hand about a good 30 times in the span of your lifetime. 27 of those times, you were a heartbroken little girl sat on the floor and he was a kindhearted boy helping you up.

The other three times, the two of you were adults. And they were only ever moments like this, where's he's helping you up, just like he would as children.

He stares down at your connected hands. Your hand seemed smaller in his even though you never really saw your hands as delicate but compared to his large, rough hands it seemed that way.

Although he has grabbed you by your hands plenty of times, this was for sure the longest. He would always grab it and release right after. He never really held it like he doing now. Mainly because you didn't let him pull away this time.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

Your eyes grow in size and you release his hand. You dry your clammy hands on your dress. "Sorry."

He smiles menacingly and begins to lead his way back to the castle. "You know, if you want to hold my hand so bad, all you have to do is ask."

You shove his shoulder. "Be quiet. I was just thinking about something."

"Like what?"

You bite down on your inner cheek and keep your head in the opposite direction. "Nothing important."

The corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk and he arched his brow. "Sure seemed important considering you were clutching on to my hand for dear life."

Your hands turn into fists and you stomp your foot. "I wasn't clutching your hand!"

He raises his shoulders. "Hey, I'm not judging you. My hands are pretty nice, I'd want to hold them too."

You glare at him. "You're awfully full of yourself, you know that?"

Jean opens the door for you and stands off to the side. "Am I? Maybe you're rubbing off on me."

The castle was at its quietest now. It was probably around 8 or 9 and everyone had gone home for the day or was getting ready for bed. Your shoes clack against the floors and you try to walk slow to avoid them being as loud. And for other reasons. "I don't act like that." You debate.

"Ah, right." Jean says like he just remembered something. "I forgot you're perfect and do no wrong."

You shrug smugly. "Try not to forget next time."

No matter how slow you tried to walk, it seemed like your room somehow was a lot closer than it usually was.

He stops in front of his door and you do the same to yours. "Goodnight. Don't stay up too late, it's Monday tomorrow."

"I know my days of the week, Kirstein." You turn the door knob and your door separates from the hinge. His does the same.

Before he steps into the room, you whisper his name. "Pst Jean." He tilts his head back to look at you as you stand behind your door, your head was the only thing poking out from behind it and your hands clutched the door's edge. "Wanna sleep in my bed, tonight? I'm not a married woman yet." You sing and wiggle your eyebrows.

A flash of red swallows his ivory skin but he quickly pushes it back down. "No. You snore."

"I do not!" You shout, your body coming out from behind the door. He flashes a bright smile before he bursts into laughter. Your heart flutters for just a spilt moment.

He sighs as his laughter dies down, his hand resting on his stomach. "I think you should take advantage of sleeping alone while you can."

You pout. "You're no fun." He smiles gently and holds your chin between his thumb and index finger. "Can't make it too easy for you, now
can I?"

You stare up at him, your eyes intoxicated by his. Although you were only staring into them for a few seconds, it felt like a century passed by. You quickly snap out of your trace and push his hand away. "Goodnight."

Before you enter your room you turn back to him once last time. "I'm keeping the jacket, by the way."

"It looks better on you anyway." He says simply. "Goodnight. Sweet dreams." The door closes behind him and you stare at the shut door already missing his presence.

-

It felt like as soon as you laid your head on your pillow, morning had come quick. Mikasa was shaking you awake and you were burying your face deep into your silk pillows to hide from the morning light. "Get up."

You sit up and rub at your eyes. "What time is it?" Once your eyes adjust, you turn to the nearby clock. "It's earlier than usual. I had more time to sleep."

Mikasa begins to fix up your bed by pulling the covers and adjusting the pillows. "Your mom wanted me to wake you up earlier today. Prince Phoenix is coming so she wants you to look nice." She points over to a dress that was splayed out on the couch in your room. "Hitch made you a dress too."

You stare at the dress. "Oh, that's right. He is coming today." You turn your body and your legs hang off the side of the bed, the heels of your feet touching the cold floor.

You walk up to the window and place your hand on the frosted glass. "It's getting colder at night now. Looks like winter is almost here."

She doesn't say anything and just finishes making your bed before she starts up a bath for you. You watch her carefully as she does. For some reason, she wasn't acting like her usual self.

You meet her in the restroom. Her hand was underneath the running water as she tests it for the perfect temperature. You stand beside her with your arms crossed. "What's wrong?"

She sets the water at the temperature you always prefer and stands back up. "What do you mean?"

"You're being weird."

She frowns. "No I'm not."

"Normally when you spend time with Eren, you tell me all about it the next morning. You didn't do that this time. Did something happen?" You ask. "Did he take the joke too serious?"

Mikasa laughs a little. "No, he knew you were just messing with him. It has nothing to do with Eren."

"Ah ha!" You say loudly as you point a finger at her. "So something is wrong!"

She gives you an annoyed look. "Just get in the tub, will you?"

You start stripping your night gown off your body and dip your foot into the tub before you slip your body in completely. Mikasa always knew exactly how you liked your bath water. "Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"Then what's wrong? Why are you being so indifferent toward me?"

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'M NOT." She echos, her voice getting louder and more irritated.

"You say that but I don't believe you." You match her energy. It was hard to argue in a setting where you're completely naked and in a bathtub full of bubbles, as vulnerable as it gets.

Mikasa tucks a strand of her pretty black hair behind her ear. Usually she liked to keep it short because she claimed it was always in the way but it seemed like she stopped cutting it so much cause it was up to her shoulders again like it used to be when she first started working here.

The first thing you ever noticed about her was her hair. It was long and shiny, the healthiest you had ever seen. You envied it at the time because yours was always untamable.

"You're pushing me away, aren't you?"

She had her head turned away, staring at some birds flying outside in the distance. Her eyes meet yours but she doesn't say anything. You could tell she was truly to come up with a lie in her head. You knew her too well.

You sink deeper into the water, your toes poking out the bubbles across from you. "Jean started doing the same thing. I'm not going to be surprised if my brothers start doing it too. It's easier that way though. To start distancing yourself so it won't hurt as much when we have to part ways. I get it."

"That's not what's happening." She denies. Mikasa has never been a good liar. In fact, she's terrible at it. She accepted that too and that's why she was always as blunt as it gets. But here she was, attempting to lie anyway.

You stare at your wiggling toes, the pale lilac nail polish catching your eyes. "You would think it's the opposite. Spend more time with the person who's leaving so you can make as much memories with them while you can. Instead, we push them away to spare our own feelings when we have to say goodbye. Humans are selfishly funny that way."

You flicker your eyes toward her direction without moving your head. She still was facing away, her mind somewhere else.

You just watch her making sure not to miss any change into her facial expressions or body language that could possibly help hint at what was wrong with her, but, she keeps her stagnate composure. "The prince is here." Is all she says.

She stands up and grabs a towel from the rack in your bathroom. You sink further into the foamy water until 50% of your face is buried in it.

You really didn't want to go out there. Especially if everyone else was going to be treating you the way Mikasa is right now. It hurt more with her because she was your bestfriend, the person you told everything to. So right now that you're in a huge changing point in your life, a time where you needed her the most, it seemed like she was out of reach. It almost made you feel even more alone.

After you finish bathing, you get changed, fix your face and hair and walk out your bedroom. You're fully prepared to see Jean standing against the wall across your bedroom door like he always is every morning but he isn't. You catch a glance of his bedroom door as if you'll see him walk out of it any second but it remains shut.

As you walk down the hall, you watch out the windows you pass and see a carriage parked out by the front of the castle, two gorgeous, jet black horses attached to it.

Once you make it to the entrance room of the castle, you see your mother and Hitch waiting there for you. You walk up to them but Mikasa stops halfway. "Hitch will take it from here, I'll see you later."

"What?" You ask her but she's already turning away and walking down the hall. You're about to call after her when Hitch grabs on to your arm. She squeals and turns your body toward her. "You look stunning! I wouldn't be surprised if he drops down to his knees and begs you to marry him the second he sees you."

You let out a dubious laugh. "Yeah, let's hope not." You turn back around to look at Mikasa once more but she's already gone. You even look around for Jean and see he's no where to be found either.

Hitch begins to fix tiny parts of your appearance and adds final touches here and there. "Are you nervous?" She asks, a sewing needle between her teeth.

"Not really. He's pretty approachable and easy going. He's a good conversationalist and he's not boring. Pretty funny too." You admit.

"Is he cute?" Her sinister smile stretches across her face like the cat from alice in wonderland.

You giggle. "Yeah, he's cute." Your mother then approaches you and pinches the skin on your lower back. "Stand up straight and pick up your head, quickly. He's coming."

"Good morning to you too." You say bitterly.

Prince Phoenix walks in with another man who you assume is his version of your Mikasa. The both bow before you and the queen. "Your highnesses."

You and your mother return the gestures. "Your grace."

Before Phoenix even approaches you, he takes your mother's hand and plants a kiss on it. "Queen Solana, always a pleasure. How is it possible you get even more beautiful every time I see you? There's no way you have four children."

For the first time ever, you see your mother turn into a bashful, stuttering little girl. She laughs and covers his face coyly with her manicured hand. "You're too kind."

You scrunch up your nose and look at Hitch who was too busy staring at Phoenix in awe. You could tell she wasn't expecting him to look like that.

"I'm sorry the king isn't here to greet you, he had some things he needed to tend to." Your mother explains.

Phoenix laughs and holds up a hand. "It's quite alright, I completely understand. I'm sure I'll be lucky to see him sometime throughout the day."

He then turns to you and smiles. "And Princess Yn." He lifts up your hand and kisses it just like he did to the queen but instead, his eyes stare up at you as his lips kiss your skin. "The girl I can not seem get out of my head. I'm not surprised you look just as incredible as I saw you the other night."

Hitch grabs onto your arm and whispers by your ear. "Oh darling, you did not tell me he looked like that. Cute is an understatement. If you don't want him, I'll gladly scoop him up."

Phoenix turns to her. "And you are?"

Hitch smiles and instantly holds out her hand. "Hitch Dreyse. Best damn steamstress in the entire kingdom of Eldia."

"Ahhh." Phoenix smiles. He kisses Hitch's hand as well. "So I have you to thank for making the princess look as beautiful as she does. You do magnificent work."

Hitch blushes and waves her freshly kissed hand dismissively. "It's nothing really. It helps my model is already gorgeous."

He winks. "That, we both can agree on."

You had to give it to him. He was one hell of a smooth talker. He had the prince charming act down. That's if, it was an act. Maybe you were just so used to your brothers that you had forgotten how princes are supposed to act.

"Are you hungry, Phoenix?" Solana asks him. "The boys are eating in the common room right now. Y/n can introduce you to them."

Something about that made your stomach do a flip. Your brothers were pretty intimidating when it came to what kind of guy was around their little sister. Even more when it came to who was the man going to marry her.

"Go on." She signals you. "Go eat breakfast with your brothers and introduce Phoenix to them. They're already expecting you two. Afterwards, you two have the entire day to spend together."

Your attention returns back to reality. "The entire day? What about class? And riding lessons? I also have archery today."

"Your classes are cancelled for the day. But you are free to go horse riding with Phoenix if he'd like." She answers.

Your mouth practically drops open but you quickly close it. She had all this planned out and you barely were finding out about it just this second. That explains why neither Jean or Mikasa were here. She probably told them to give you and Phoenix space to be alone.

"Alright, come on." You wave toward Phoenix. "Let's go feed you to the wolves."

He laughs and starts to walk beside you in the direction of the common room while Hitch and Solana walk in the opposite direction. "Your brothers can't be that bad."

"Depends on what kind of mood they're in." You suggest. You hoped they were in good ones. Normally, you would wish for the opposite and hoped they were ruthless and mean to scare the guy away but Phoenix was actually a good person and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he didn't deserve it.

Once you and him are out of ear shot, you side eye him with one brow lifted. "What's your deal?"

"Sorry?" He chuckles.

"You're too perfect. There's have to be some kind of catch." You explain. "There's no way someone is that charming and charismatic while having pure intentions. I should know, my brother is practically the inventor of charming when the right people are watching."

You stop in front of the common room and turn to him. "But when there's no one else around, he can be a completely different person."

Phoenix smiles humbly. "I'm afraid I might just old fashioned and only have one side to me."

You narrow your eyes at him. "Mm, I don't know. I'm on to you."

"Does that mean you have a hidden side to you as well?" He questions, playing into your little game.

You reach for the doorknob. "Maybe." The door comes open and the first thing you see is Jean.

He was standing by the table with a doughnut in his hand and in the middle of laughing while his eyes meet yours.

Shit. What is he doing here?

You're frozen for a few seconds but then you quickly look away and search the room for your brothers.

Kai was, of course, sat on the couch with his legs on the coffee table and shoving food in his mouth. Ambrose was sat on the window sill and the sunlight was reflecting against the side of his face, he was smiling proudly like he just thought of the best idea which you connected to why Jean was laughing. Elijah was by the table and filling up his plate with one of everything.

"Uh," You lose your train of thought. You then move out the way so Phoenix, who was standing behind you, can enter the room. "I'm sure you've met my brothers before."

Ambrose hops off the window and approaches the two of you which makes your heart start to beat profusely. He then surprisingly smiles wide. "He sure as hell knows me."

Phoenix smiles just as big. "Prince Ambrose. Last time I saw you were drunk at your sister's birthday ball." The two embrace in a hug and pat eachother on the back in that way guys always do.

You had no idea they even knew each other. Forget just knowing each other, if you didn't know any better, you would've thought the two went way back by the way they're interacting with each other.

"So you're the unlucky bastard whose going to end up with my little sister, huh?" Ambrose says, his smile not leaving.

You furrow your brows. "I'm standing right here."

Elijah extends his free hand that wasn't holding a plate with a mountain of food on it to Phoenix. "Elijah."

Phoenix graciously shakes his hand. "Phoenix, it's a pleasure to meet you." Well, this was going a lot better than you expected.

You turn to look at Kai who was still sat on the couch and just watching from afar. You tilt your head, subliminally telling him to come and introduce himself. He responds by groaning.

He lazily stands up and walks up to Phoenix. "Malakai but you can call me Kai. I'd actually prefer it. Your named after the fictional bird, right?"

Your eyes turn to Jean as soon as he says that, recalling how Jean was making fun of his name just the other night. He doesn't even look your way but he does smile a little as he tries to conceal his laughter.

"Unfortunately." Phoenix admits sheepishly. "My parents are the ones to blame for my name, I had no say."

Kai shakes his head. "No, I think it's super cool actually. I mean, Phoenix is a symbol of resurrection. It's immortal and rises every time from the ashes."

Prince Phoenix sheds an impressed expression. "You're into Greek mythology?"

"You're kidding." You laugh. "He's like obsessed with that stuff. He can go on and on about Greek gods and he swears that I'm—"

Kai's eyes get big and Phoenix frowns. "What?"

You blink and close your mouth shut. "Uh..sorry. I lost my train of thought." You try to think of a quick way to change the subject. "Anyway, this is Jean." You say as you gesture in his direction.

Phoenix frowns while you lead him toward Jean. "Wait, you have four brothers? I thought you only had three?"

You gag and it almost feels like puke might actually come out for a second. "He's not my brother. He's my bodyguard. His mother was our nanny growing up so Jean grew up with us."

"So you practically are family then." Phoenix points out. Jean bows halfheartedly. "Your highness." You knew it took everything in him plus swallowing his pride to do that.

"Please." Phoenix lifts his hand. "You can just call me Phoenix. No need for the highness part."

You watch as their hands meet and you get chills for some reason. "Are you hungry?" You ask to alleviate the tension. "Sit." You gesture over to one of the couches.

Your brothers and Jean stare at you in shock as you grab a plate and begins to serve a little bit of everything on it. Normally, you hated the whole women serve their men food tradition but you were so uncomfortable that you needed to give your hands something to do.

"Here." You hand him the plate and take a seat by him on the couch. Ambrose and Kai sit on the couch in front of the one you sit on and Elijah sits on one of the sofa chairs to the right. Jean was still standing by the table, leaning up against it as he continued to eat his doughnut.

"Thank you." Phoenix says as he takes the plate from you. "You didn't get yourself a plate?"

You pick a grape from his plate and toss it into your mouth. "We're sharing." Truthfully, you didn't have much of an appetite at the moment.

Elijah's mountain of food disappears, it seems like he completely obliterated it in a matter of seconds. You would think they never fed the boy if you didn't know any better. He licks his fingers clean and sets his plate down on the table that rests in the center. "So Phoenix. Tell us about yourself."

Oh god, here it comes.

Leave it to Elijah to start the interrogation. He was always the most overprotective so you weren't surprised.

"Well," Phoenix begins. He hands you the plate so you can grab from it. Even though you're not hungry, you take it from him anyway. "I'm from the Kingdom of Cilicy on Cilicy Island. I'm the oldest of three and the only boy. I'm 22 and my birthday is October 3rd."

22? He's Ambrose's age.

That explains why he was much more mature than Kai and Jean. Not that Ambrose was mature at all though.

"You have two sisters?" You ask, plopping another grape in your mouth. "I didn't know that. How old are they?"

Phoenix takes one of the grapes from the plate and plops it into his mouth the exact same way you did with a smile. "One is 16 and the other is 17."

You shoot a poisonous look at Ambrose who's eyes got all excited when he heard Phoenix say he had sisters. His face immediately goes back to being bored when he says their age. Ambrose might've been a whore but he was a whore for women his age, sometimes even older.

"And what do you like to do for fun?" Elijah continues to question. You were nervous and you weren't even the one getting questioned.

Phoenix leans back, his arms spreading across the back of the couch and behind your head. It almost looked like his arm was around you. You catch Jean looking for a moment but he turns away just as quick.

"Well, I like to be as active in my kingdom as I can. I spend most of my time outside the castle, if anything, I'm hardly ever in there. I like to really interact with the citizens of Cicily." He admits.

You nod impressed as he continues to explain how involved he is with the well-being on his people. He does all the things you've been wanting to do your whole life. Interact with the citizens, help out in the hospitals, help build homes, etc. You forget normal people are actually allowed outside their homes.

"Any hobbies?" Elijah asks. He was leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and watching Phoenix carefully like he is waiting to catch him in some kind of lie or find something wrong with him.

"We're big on animals there so I tend to a lot of farms. I enjoy horseback riding too. I'm pretty decent at fencing. I've picked up a knack for archery. I love dancing and music, especially playing it myself. I enjoy the night life and meeting new people and hearing their life stories. I love the beach and going for a late night swim."

Kai barks out a laugh. "God, you're literally yn but a dude."

You were astonished to say the least. You had no idea you had that much in common with the exception of night life, beaches and late night swims but only because you weren't allowed those things.

"Let's see." Kai grows interested in the conversation, mimicking Elijah's interrogation pose. "Yn knows 3 different languages. How much do you know?"

Phoenix holds up his hand, his thumb bent backwards. "Four including sign language."

You gasp, almost choking on a grape and turn to him. "You know sign language?!"

He nods. "Yes I do. It's actually really useful especially when you meet someone who relies on that as their only form of communication."

You shake your head with amazement. "That's so cool. Can you show me?"

He shrugs cooly. "I can show you whatever you want."

Jean spits out his drink and everyone turns to look at him. He coughs harshly and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. "Sorry, it was hot."

You try your best not to laugh. What a coincidence his drink burned him right when Phoenix said something like that.

Jean was clearly trying his absolute best to act like none of this was bothering him but you knew better. He never once had straight up admitted it but you knew there was something there. All the jealous little comments to the intimate moments like when he was practically undressing you.

It irritated you that he couldn't come out and just say it. It seemed like no matter how obvious you made it or how many hints you threw his way, they completely flew over his head. Either he was that stupid and oblivious... or he was only pretending to be.

Maybe he just needed a little push.

"Do you maybe want to take a walk outside? We have a gorgeous rose garden I think you'll love." You stand up before he even answers.

Phoenix smiles and stands up as well. "I would love to."

Jean sets his cup down like he's preparing to go with you two. You look at him and smile. "You don't have to come."

He tenses up in response. You could've swore you even saw his jaw flex. You bat your eyes at him. "Problem?"

You turn around and  look at your brothers and see if they have a problem with it too. Kai shrugs. "I don't care. He's gonna be your husband anyway."

Elijah and Ambrose exchange looks with each other but then nod that they're okay with it. You look at Jean who was the closest to the door. "Good. Glad we're all on the same page."

You grab Phoenix's hand and lead him out the room, passing right past Jean. The second you pass his body, you close your eyes and await for him to do something. Grab your hand and pull you away. Or even say that he's not letting anyone else him be alone with you.

But that of course was just your stupid, hopeless romantic of an imagination because he doesn't do anything remotely close to those things.

You tell yourself that it's because your brothers are watching and that if they weren't, he might've actually said something. He had done a lot of gestures to show you his feeling toward you were much more than just platonic or professional.

He danced with you underneath the moonlight, your bodies tightly together and basking in the same air. His cologne filling your nose. He hugged you when he knew you needed one after overhearing a conversation your parents were having. He helped loosen the strings of your corset after he saw you struggling to do it yourself and because he knew you weren't comfortable.

All these little things hinted at something more but yet, for some reason, it still felt like it was all in your head. Like maybe he was just being nice to you and since you aren't really use to that, you take it as something more when it's really just something as simple as being kind.

Maybe that's just you being brainwashed by your brothers who always remind you that you always get too carried away in your own daydreams. Forgetting what's actually real and what isn't.

You needed him to straight up say it. That way you couldn't be blamed for misinterpreting his actions because he would have finally owned up to them and admitted his feelings.

Unless there wasn't anything to even admit.

Prince Phoenix follows you out the door and into the hall. "So I see you know Ambrose." You point out.

He chuckles toward the ground. "You could say that. He loves a good party, I know that much." His light brown eyes meet your face. "I'm quite surprised the two of you are related, if I'm honest."

You turn to him as you continue to lead him toward the outside door. "Oh? And why is that?"

"Well, no offense but your brother is much more.." He circles his hand in the air as he tries to recall the term he wants to use. "What's the word?"

You smile when you know exactly what word he's searching for. It's the same word everyone used to describe Ambrose. "Flamboyant?"

He snaps his fingers together. "Exactly."

You can't help but laugh. "Yeah, he's something else but we're not too different really. He's the brother I share the most physical features with. He's also the brother I bump heads with the most because we are too alike sometimes."

Phoenix studies your face for a moment. "Huh, you really do look a lot like him. And what about your other brothers?"

Great. Now your soon to be husband is going to see your brother's face every time he looks at you.

"Well, Elijah is the oldest, he practically helped raise us since he matured a lot quicker. He's the smartest and everyone's least favorite to argue with because he will make you absolutely hate yourself after he's done." You admit.

"He's intimidating in the sense that he's so annoyingly perfect. You always feel smaller beside him. Like you'll spend your whole life trying to be at his level but when you catch up, he's already on the next one." You open the door that leads to the garden area and feel the fresh open air hit your face. "I look up to him a lot. He's also just a mini version of my father which is kind of adorable."

Phoenix steps onto the grass and continues to walk beside you, allowing you to lead the way. "And the last one, Malakai right? He's the youngest of the boys."

"Right. That's Kai." You confirm. "He's the one I'm definitely the closest too. I mean, he's like my other half. Sometimes it feel like we were meant to be twins instead of two years apart."

You pass the greenhouse and near toward the stables. You make a quick stop there to check up on your horse Maximus. "He's the most down to earth of them and the most laidback. He'll take a nap any time, any place and he makes friends everywhere he goes. He also loves dark and scary stuff like horror books or plays."

Phoenix watches you pet your horse with a smile. "You remind me of a mix of them. May I?" He gestures to Max. You nod and he slowly brings his hands up to the horse as he allows Max to gain confidence and trust. He eventually gives in and Phoenix pets his freely. "Your wit from Elijah, your boldness from Ambrose, and your amiableness from Kai."

You just now realize that was true. You never noticed how much you picked at their own unique personalities and smushed them together to make your own. As much as you hated to admit it, Elijah wasn't the only one of your brothers you looked up to. They all inspired you in different ways.

"Maybe I take after them more than I give them credit for." You admit as you feed Max an apple and kiss him goodbye. "Don't tell them I said that though, I'll deny it if you do."

His fingers make a cross over his heart. "I'll take it to the grave."

You gesture him to follow you back to your original destination and when you finally reach the garden, he's in complete awe. "Wow, this place is incredible. The roses are so vibrant and alive even in the fall."

You enter the maze-like garden, your fingers gently touching the beautiful roses that came in shades of red, pink and white.

"Yeah they stay like this all year long. It's actually kind of strange. They never wither away, even when it's really cold." You explain.

He smells a soft blush colored rose. "Not just the roses but this whole place." He looks around to the rest of the land within the walls. "There's so much beauty to stare at and so much land to just run freely and so many trees to climb. You must've loved it as a child."

You stay quiet and keep your eyes on the roses. Little did he know that it wasn't until too long ago that you were able to even enjoy your backyard freely like he imagines you did.

The two of you continue walking down the long rose bushes, admiring their beauty and their floral aroma. "Can I ask you something?" You speak up.

"Of course." Phoenix replies.

"Why are you here wasting your time with me?" You ask him.

He looks at you confused. "I'm not sure what you mean."

You could tell it rained early in the morning because there was dew drops clinging needingly to the roses. "I mean even I can admit you're ridiculously handsome. You got the kind of looks girls go crazy for. You should be like my brother Ambrose who throws himself at any girl who compliments him."

You stop walking and cross your arms before him. "And I know you have girls after you so why me, huh?"

He stops beside you. You didn't mean to sound so suspicious of his intentions but considering what has been happening lately with the whole traitor situation, could anyone really blame you?

"Well for one," He begins. "Ambrose isn't a first born son. I unfortunately am so I can't necessarily throw myself around as easily as he does."

He takes a seat on edge of the water fountain. "Like your older brother Elijah for example. I'm sure he's much different when it comes to women. By now, he probably already knows who he's going to marry, right?"

You remain standing, towering over him. "So you have a duty to get married soon, I get it but that doesn't answer my question. Why me?"

He laughs, a loose curl from his dark hair falling forward and dangling in front of his eyes. "I'll admit there was a bit of mystery to it. The princess that was always locked away, never left her castle, never attended any balls and was only ever seen on rare occasion."

You could feel your heart start to pick up its pace. Was that all this was? Was he really only interested in you because of he found you mysterious?

"I was curious when I heard you were throwing a birthday ball, plus I was already being forced by my parents to come." He admits. His eyes then flick up to meet yours and he copies what you said earlier. "And even I can admit you're ridiculously beautiful."

You roll your eyes and take a seat beside him. "Flattery will get you no where, your grace."

He twists his body to the side to become face to face with you. "Alright, tell what will then? I'll
do whatever it takes."

"You barely even know me and you would do whatever it takes?" You question him.

He shrugs and shines a confident, pearly white smile. "I'm a gambler, I put all my luck in something when I have a good feeling about it, even if I'm not 100% sure if I'll come up winning in the end."

You run your hand through the falling water. "So it's a good feeling I give you then."

The way he was looking at you would've probably also given your goosebumps if you didn't have them already. "Something of the sort, yes."

You shake your hand dry. "I have that effect on people."

He chuckles and then goes back to being more serious. He even scoots a bit closer, his face not too far from yours. You could smell spearmint lingering from his lips. "Look my people, we're excellent judges of character. One day when when you come to the island, no pressure, you'll see everyone there is genuine. They love their neighbors and love themselves even more. They're good people and since they're all surrounded by this pureness, they can tell when someone isn't."

You try to envision a kingdom like that. Eldia was a peaceful place but people here pretty much just minded their business and did what they needed to. They weren't overly loving or friendly like he claimed his kingdom was.

"The island would love you. You'd fit right in." He adds.

You chuckle and lean back so that the sun kisses your face more directly. "My mother said the exact same thing."

Phoenix winks. "Great minds think alike. But truly, I mean it and I'm not just saying it as a way to convince you to come with me but because I know it's the truth."

"What if I'm not genuine? What if this is all just an act and behind closed doors I'm a completely other person?" You ask.

"Are you?"

"Maybe."

He smiles. "What did I say earlier? I'm a gambler." He was so close to you that he could easily kiss you if he wanted to. For some reason, that made you beyond nervous.

Luckily, the sound of something rattling in the bushes distracts the two of you, drawing your attention to that area instead.

A white rabbit comes out, it's adorable little nose bouncing up and down as it smells its surroundings. You look toward Phoenix who stares at the animal with confusion. "Have you never seen a bunny before?" You laugh.

"Not in person, no." He admits. You're guessing rabbits aren't native to Cicily Island which you found interesting considering Eldia had an abundance of them.

"You serious? Come here." You stand up and wait for him to do the same but he just stares up at you, almost scared to do so. "What if it runs away?"

You grab him by his arm and lift him off the seat. "It won't. Animals love me for some reason." You stop a few feet away from the rabbit and get down on your knees with your hand extended.

Without much hesitation, the bunny hops over to you and allows you to pet it. You look at Phoenix who stands a bit further away. "I don't know if I should." He claims. "What if it doesn't like me or bites me?"

"Animals are good judges of character. If they don't like you, it means something is wrong with you. Plus, you said you have a farm right? Animals must love you too." You try to reassure him. Honestly, you were testing him to see him claims were true and not just some story he made up to impress you and your brothers.

He hesitates for a moment but squats down beside you, his hand slowly approaching the animal and to your surprise, the rabbit allows his hand to graze it's snow colored fur.

You smile a little. Looks like he wasn't lying after all. "See? Not so scary, right?"

Phoenix chuckles nervously as he builds up confidence. "Yeah, it's not too bad."

You pick up the rabbit and hold it in your arms. Your hands brush through its soft fur, admiring the beautiful color. He continues to pet the animal as it cuddles you. "You're really good at this. You have to come visit the farm one day. Some of those animals are untamable sometimes. Maybe they just need a woman's touch." He compliments you.

Your eyes meet his and you smile only using them. "A woman's touch can work wonders."

He returns the smile. "They're going to the rule the world one day. I see it coming."

Your gentle, smiling eyes begin to sparkle with admiration. It was extremely rare for a man to admit something like that. Especially during these times where women were only seen as useful for childbearing. The fact he was saying something like that out loud too was a shock alone.

You didn't even realize how dangerously close he was. His face by yours and the smell of mint lingering to remind you he's right there. The fact that he was staring right into your eyes made your heart thump like the rabbit in your arms.

There's the sound of bushes moving behind you and you twist your head around. You hear the sound of some angry whispering and know immediately where the noise is coming from.

"Here." You hand Phoenix the rabbit to hold in his arms. "I'll be right back." He panics a little as you trade with him but he takes the furry animal anyway.

You walk around the bushes as quietly as you can and see two people crouching down behind the bushes and peeking through them. You stand there for a few seconds just to see how long it would take for them to notice you standing there.

"You idiot, you're being too loud. She probably heard us."

"Shut the hell up! Wait, where did she go?"

You clear your throat loudly and both boys jump. Jean and Ambrose both turn their heads slowly like their in a horror movie.

You tower behind them with your arms crossed. "What do you think you're doing?"

Ambrose immediately points at Jean. "He made me do it."

"WHAT?!" Jean shouts.

Now you understood how Elijah felt.

"Why are you spying on me?" You ask.

Ambrose brings his shoulders to his center. "We're not necessarily spying per say."

You point at the large rose bush their currently squatting behind. "You're literally hiding behind a bush. I'm pretty sure that falls underneath the definition of spying, don't be vacuous."

"Vacuous?" Ambrose gasps appalled. You were 100% sure he had no idea what the word meant and was just assuming it meant something bad.

"Stop using big words on us." Jean protests.

"You're insolent." You point at Jean and the point at Ambrose. "And you're impudent." You begin walking away from them. Jean looks at Ambrose. "What do those even mean?"

Ambrose shrugs. "I don't know but yours sounds worse."

You stop walking and shout at them. "THEY BOTH MEAN THE SAME THING IDIOTS."

"Bitch!" Ambrose shouts before hiding behind the bush again. You take off your shoe and chuck it right at his head and he cries out.

You meet up again with Phoenix who was still holding on the rabbit and sat down on the ground. He sees you and releases the animal to roam around freely. "What happened to your other shoe?" He frowns.

"I threw it at someone's head." You say nonchalantly. He laughs as if it's joke and not something you actually did just a few seconds ago.

You lead him out the garden and continue on with the rest of your day. You spend the rest of the day showing him around the castle and you even go horse riding with him at one point. The day surprisingly goes by quick.

Before you knew it, you were waving goodbye to him at the castles gates and he returned back to where he's staying for the night.

Your mother invited him to stay for dinner but he insisted he didn't want to impose. You knew it was because he didn't want to overwhelm you by already spending so much time with you. He informed you that he would stop by tomorrow just to see you for a bit.

You walk over to your room, your body feeling drained from attempting to entertain someone all day long. Your feet drag lazily across the floor as you shove the door open. You don't even hesitate to crash face down into your bed.

-

Your eyes linger on the curtains that hung above your bed, they sparkled dimly. As much as you tried, you just couldn't seem to fall asleep.

Sitting up in bed, you stare at the wall a couple feet away. Behind that wall was Jean's bedroom. You hadn't really spoken to him all day and it felt strange considering how accustomed you were to him being one of the only people you talked to daily.

You take a look at the clock beside you and see it's 12:56am. It's just a few minutes away from being one in the morning and you were more than sure he was probably asleep just like everyone else.

There were three options on how you were going to continue the rest of the night. The first one consisted of tossing and turning for hours until your body eventually crashes. The second option was going downstairs to the kitchen and making yourself a tea with the herbs Kai got you that were bound to put you right to sleep.

Lastly, the final option was to go and bother someone else. To sneak out of your room and hope someone else was awake to keep you company until you fell asleep.

Any normal person would probably pick option two considering it was the best choice. But you being you, decide to take a different route.

You kick your legs off the bed and slowly tip toe to your door, the floor creaking beneath your feet. You grab something from the corner of your room to take over there.

You try your absolute hardest to open your door without it making a single noise but the castle is so unbearably quiet that any little sound carried throughout the empty halls.

You successfully creep past your door and you have snuck out so many times in your life that you know exactly where to step so you make no noise and that you're hidden smoothly in the shadows. Luckily, Jean's room is right next door so it doesn't take long to get there.

Twisting the handle to test to see if the door is locked, you squeeze your eyes shut as if it'll make the sound of the door opening any quieter. Luckily, it wasn't locked so you slip past the door and into his room, making sure to close the door behind you. "Pst. Jean."

He groans softly and opens one eye. It takes a few seconds for his sleepy eyes to adjust and see you standing in front of his door. "Y/n?"

He then immediately shoots up to sit up straight. "What the hell are you doing in here?!" He yells in a whispered tone. "Did anyone see you come in here?"

"No, I'm not an idiot." You state. He rubs at his face. "What do you want?"

You start to tip toe over to him. "I can't sleep."

He lays back down and turns his body away from you as he attempts to go back to sleep. "Go to Mikasa's room then."

[art creds: korin_archieves on insta!!]

"I can't!" You softly kick his bed frame. "There's something I need to ask you."

He mumbles into his pillow. "What is it?"

You walk over to his window and open the curtains so the moonlight can shine through the glass and illuminate the floor.

Kneeling to sit on the ground, you spread out the world map until it lays flat, exposing every inch of it. "If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

He lifts up his head momentarily to shoot you an annoyed expression. "That's what you woke me up for?"

"Just answer the question." You ignore his negativity. You spread your hands across the map. "Anywhere you want."

He sighs and slides off his bed, taking a seat beside you on the floor. He also sadly puts a tshirt on as well. He thinks for a moment, his eyes slowly inspecting every part of the map. "I think I'd go to Paris."

You turn to him. "Paris? France, right? That's in Europe."

"Mmhm." He rubs his eyes, clearly still half asleep. You, on the other hand, had enough energy to share. "Why there?"

He sits more comfortably, his long legs stretched up and relaxed. "My family is from there."

You feel like you just unlocked an old childhood memory. "Oh that's right! Your mom mentioned you were French. Do you know how to speak it?"

He smiles a little. "Oui, je le fais."

You smile even bigger. "Ah, je suis impressionné."

His drowsy eyes regain consciousness as they light up. "You speak French too?"

You lift your right shoulder up humbly. "Your mom taught me some, I wouldn't say I'm fluent or anything. I'd love to learn more though."

He shrugs too. "I wouldn't say I'm that fluent either. I actually haven't been too in touch with my french roots, sadly."

"Mm." You admire him for a moment. He looked so relaxed in this setting even though it was just you and him alone in his room in the middle of the night. "So that's why you want to go then. Have you ever been?"

He twists his lips to the side, clear disappointment written all over his face. "Nope. We never had the time. My mom was always busy and now I'm the busy one."

You sit up straight and sneakily inch just a small bit closer to him without making it obvious. "You should go one day, seriously. You deserve to see it."

"Where would you go?" He asks, taking the subject off of him.

Your heart stops for a moment. "Eh?"

He points to map. "Anywhere in the world, where would you go?" You just stare back at him in disbelief which causes him to laugh. "What?"

"No one has ever asked me that before." You admit. "I ask everyone I meet that question but no one has ever once asked me."

He chuckles. "Seriously? That's pretty selfish of them."

You look down at the map and laugh softly to yourself. "Yeah." It was actually sort of depressing as well as humiliating to admit that out loud.

"Well, that's better for me, anyway." Jean says.

You pick your head back up. "Hm?"

He smiles proudly. "I get to know the answer and nobody else does."

Leave it to Jean to make something like that into a competition. You giggle and shake your head. "That's a nice way to look at it."

Now it was him who was scooting closer. "So? What's the answer?"

Your mind goes blank. "I actually don't know. I mean, I don't know where to even begin. I want to go everywhere." Your finger glides all over the map drawing squiggly lines all over. "I want to see every inch of this earth, even the bad parts."

He frowns. "Why the bad parts?"

"So I can see if I can help heal it." You say like it was the most obvious, common sense answer.

His knitted brows soften as well as his expression, he shakes his head and smiles. His closed fist gently knocks the side of your head. "Geez, you really do got a savior's complex, don't you?"

Butterflies swim in your stomach everytime he touches you, even a small knock of the head like he did just now but like always, you try your best not to show it. "But if I had to pick one place, I'd pick somewhere that was warm and sunny all the time. Somewhere by a beach maybe. Somewhere tropical where colorful fruits grows from the trees and your feet sink into the soft sand and where the water is so clear that it's almost see through." You gush out as you grow with excitement and imagination.

"Kinda like Cicily Island?" Jean questions.

And just like that, the excitement is gone. You lay down on the floor and look up at the roof. "Yeah. like Cicily Island."

He lays on his side beside you, his arm holding up his head. "Looks like you'll get what you want then."

You let out a deep rooted sigh that seemed to come from the deepest, darkest parts inside you. "Not even close."

You then quickly shrug it off as you grow uncomfortable with how serious the conversation was turning. "But I suppose it'll do for now."

"I hate to admit it but he seems like a good person. That flame bird guy." Jean admits surprisingly.

You feel yourself smile just a little bit but keep your face up to the ceiling. "Why do you hate to admit it? Do you not like him?"

He seems to notice you growing amused and refuses to give you the satisfaction. "I don't know him well enough to have an opinion."

You turn your head to the side to look at him. "You just said he's a good person. That's an opinion."

"No, I said he seems like a good person. Don't twist my words." He corrects you without hesitation.

You keep up with his quick remarks. "Believe it or not, that's still an opinion."

He still doesn't back down. "I don't like nor dislike the guy, alright?"

You stare at him in silence as if it will intimidate him enough or make him uncomfortable to the point where he actually admits how he feels but he doesn't. So, you try to push a little further.

You look away again. "My brothers seems to like him." You pause for a just a little dramatic effect. "Even Kai." You watch him from the corner of your eye to catch his reaction to that last part.

He either knew what you were doing or genuinely didn't care enough to be jealous. "I'm glad. That'll be his soon to be brother in law so it's good they get along."

You honestly couldn't tell if he was playing along with your game or if this was really how he felt. Maybe he really didn't feel for you. Maybe it was really all just in your head and your brothers were right when they said you imagine things in your head and run with it. Always embarrassingly getting your hopes up.

But if it was all in your head... If this was just one sided... Why did it feel so real?

You keep your eyes on the beautiful hand painted mural on the ceiling of his room. "What are you going to do in the future?"

"Mm, job wise?" He asks.

You shake your head. "Life wise. Do you plan on staying here in Elida forever? Do you ever plan on getting married? Or have kids? Are you going to stay in the royal guard until you retire?"

He lays on his back beside you and also looks up at the mural like his answer is up there. "Well, I want to move up the ladder as much as I can. Maybe one day be captain or lieutenant. Even though I probably won't settle for just lieutenant."

You turn your face to look at him, just now realizing how close his face is to yours. It wasn't close enough to kiss but it was close enough to reach out and touch if you wanted to. "You want to be a leader." You realize.

He looks away bashfully, his hand brushing through his hair. "Sorta, yeah."

You smile at his modesty. "You'd be a good one. I know it."

He finally turns his head to the side to meet your eyes. "You're just saying that."

You don't look away even though your mind is screaming at you to. "No, I really do think you can do it."

He smiles genuinely, his eyes still on yours. "Thanks."

Now you couldn't look away even if you wanted to. It's like your eyes and his locked together and it was impossible to pull them apart, forever intertwined and lost in time.

"Is this the part where we kiss?" You tease him.

He laughs and pushes your face away from him. "Oh shut up."

The two of you laugh in synchronization for a few seconds before it dies down again. "What about the rest?"

"What?" He asks, completely forgetting the rest of questions you asked.

You glare at him. "Marriage? Kids?"

He scratches his cheek. "Uh, I guess I've never really thought that far ahead."

It was an odd feeling laying down on the floor beside him. It was nerve racking because he was so close to you but at the same time, you weren't nervous at all. "You do want a family some day, don't you?"

He pokes his bottom lip out. "One day, sure."

You turn on your side, facing him and bend your arm underneath your head to use as a pillow. "I wonder what your babies would look like."

His eyes shoot open as he snaps his head toward you. "Huhhh? What an odd thing to randomly just say."

"What?" You laugh. "If they're anything as chubby as you were at one point, they're going to be adorable." You pinch his cheek with your free hand.

His cheeks turn red and not because you just pinched one of them. "There's no way you remember that."

You frown. "We're not that much apart in age, you know? I used to watch you guys play a lot from my balcony. You were a chubby toddler but lost the weight quick when you and my brothers would play outside all day, every day."

His embarrassment fades away as he smirks. "So you were stalking me."

You scoff. "Don't act like you wouldn't stalk me."

He sits up straight. "I did not!"

You sit up as well. "Do you remember the first time we met? Like actually met, not just from seeing each other from afar. It was the first time I snuck out of my room without your mom seeing. I was probably eight years old at the time, making you what? Ten?"

He nods. You weren't sure if he actually remembered or was just pretending to.

"The four of you had just finished a game of freeze tag and you took a break under one of the trees. You were laying on the grass and I walked up to all of you and said—" You continue to explain.

"Can I play?" Jean interrupts. You pause for a moment, actually taken aback. "You remember."

He lays back down on the ground with his arms crossed behind his head as a pillow. "How could I forget? You jumped on Ambrose right in front of me and started hitting the hell out of him. You left him scratches everywhere."

You laugh. "Hey, can't say I didn't leave a good first impression, right? Besides, he deserved it. He was mean first."

You turn to the window that was left open from earlier and watch clouds drift slowly across the moon, temporarily shielding its light. "I was so young back then. Time flies so quickly."

He remains laid out of the floor and watches the same clouds you do. "Like one blink and it's over. You go from 10 years old to 21 in a flash." He agrees.

You hug your body tightly, almost feeling a lonesome feeling even though Jean was right beside you. "8 to 19."

It was scary to think about. It really did feel like your life was flashing before your eyes. Like your youth was ripped vengefully out your yearning grip before you even had a chance to cherish it.

"I mean, it's not so bad right?" Jean offers. "You may have been younger but you have a better relationship with your family now than back then. Time machines don't exist. You have to live in the moment and forget about the past. It's the past for a reason."

You yawn and lay back down, your hands resting on your stomach. "I guess you're right."

"I'm always right." He mutters. You look in his direction to see why his voice suddenly got lower. His eyes were closed, his chest moving steadily up and down. He was falling back asleep.

You smile as you watch him slowly doze off. This was the first time in years you had seen him sleeping in such a vulnerable state.

When he was a kid, he would take quick naps with your brothers when they were completely worn out. You had saw him passed out on the floor, or even the grass sometimes.

He looked much different than back then though. Back then, his chubby cheeks were smushed against the floor as he slept on it. His cheeks weren't nearly as full as they used to be. His face was much more structured and defined. He had a sharp cheekbones and other matching features. Not to mention he had facial hair now too.

It was pretty cool that you got to say you saw him grow up even though he technically had so much more growing to do. He was only 21 and still had his whole life ahead of him.

You start daydreaming about how he'll look five years from now. Then 10, then 20. You try to picture him as Commander and living comfortably like he's always dreamed of. You could see it quite vividly.

After a while, you were no longer daydreaming but actually fast asleep, having actual dreams now of him. You didn't even recall closing your eyes but there you were, passed out on the bedroom floor beside him.

A few hours later, you reach for your pillow like you always do in the middle of the night to hold on to it for comfort. Because you're asleep on Jean's bedroom floor and not on your california king size bed, there was no pillow to clutch. But your unconscious body still reached for one anyway.

You're half asleep and you wrap your arm and leg around the closest thing you can find. The part of you that's slightly awake noticed that "your pillow" isn't as soft as it usually is but your drowsier half ignores it.

It wasn't until more time passes that you realize your holding onto Jean, your head on his chest and your leg on top of his lower body. Your arm was also laid out across his torso, your hand underneath his white tee shirt.

As your body wakes up, your hands move and you feel a soft but bumpy surface. Your weakily open one of your eyes to see what exactly it is your touching and that's when you realize your fingers graze his abdomen.

What the hell...

You then shoot open and slam your hand over your mouth. "Oh my god." You look around completely lost on how you managed to end up asleep on his floor until your memory comes back to you. "Shit!"

You search the room frantically for a clock somewhere to check the time, your heart beating out of your chest when you see sunlight shining past the curtains. You finally see one across the room and see it's 7:07 am. Mikasa was going to stop by your room at 8 like she does every morning and see you're not there. "SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!" You start to panic.

You quickly stand up and kick him awake. "Wake up!" You grab your belongings and rush toward the door, your disoriented body tripping over his shoes and falling to the floor.

He groans as he sits up and rubs his eyes. "Y/n?" You jump from the floor and adjust yourself. He looks you up and down and then looks down at himself on the floor, piecing the two together. "Did we fall asleep?"

"It's almost 8, get up!" You shout and throw his shoe you tripped over at him. He catches it but was still just as dazed and confused. "8.."

He then shoots up. "Oh shit!" He stands up fast, too fast because he gets dizzy and grabs unto his bed for support. "My back hurts." He whines.

You ignore him and run out his room, praying no one sees you. Could you imagine how bad that would look?

You silently pray Mikasa isn't in your room yet and you safely make it inside without being seen. Once you see Mikasa is no where in sight, you crawl into your bed and pretend to be asleep. You do such a good job at pretending that you actually fall asleep for a moment until Mikasa is shaking you awake like always.

Your day goes just like yesterday. Your classes are cancelled and Phoenix stops by just like he did yesterday.

The day ends the same as the one before as well. You sneaking into Jean's room while everyone is asleep, making extra sure not to fall asleep this time.

It was incredible how the two of you could stay up talking for hours and hours. It was mostly just you talking and him listening and commenting here and there. You would gush about a million different things and he would intently listen and take in all the information willingly. He would watch you go on and on with childlike eyes.

Every night you snuck into his room and every morning, you snuck back out. Every day you spent with Phoenix and in the back of your mind, all you could think about was if the day could go any faster so you can end the night in Jean's room again.

Before you knew it, it was already the end of the week. You were laid out on Jean's floor like always soaking in the moonlight. He was sat beside you, reading a french book out loud to you.

He would say a couple sentences and then pause to let you attempt to translate it back in english. Every time you got a translation wrong, he'd flick you on the forehead.

The book was called L'amour Interdit or The Forbidden Love in english. It was basically just another version of a Romeo and Juliet just in French and way more interesting. There also wasn't a disgusting age difference.

The two of you took turns saying one page, testing the other's translation skills. Once it was your turn, you sit up and take the book from his hands.

"Tout ce à quoi j'ai pensé, c'était de l'embrasser." You read out loud to him. You look up from the book and see his face concentrated as he tries his best to dissect the quote.

"All I ever thought about was kissing her." He answers.

You nod and keep going. "Je savais que ça me tuerait."

"I knew it would kill me."

"Mais si la dernière chose que je fais sur cette terre est d'embrasser ses lèvres, je mourrais un homme heureux."

"But if the last thing I do on this Earth is kiss her lips, I would die a happy man."

You frown and look up from the book. "I think you're cheating. How are you so good at it?"

He laughs. "I'm French, it comes naturally."

After reading about 10 other pages, the two of you close the book for the night and just lay in silence, enjoying each other's presence.

Suddenly, Jean speaks up. "You can't keep coming in here every night, you know?"

You bump his shoulder with yours. "Don't act like you don't like being here all alone with me."

He chuckles. "I mean, it's alright or whatever." He plays off.

"Don't come crying to me when I stop coming then." You state simply. He loves to act like he didn't equally love to spend every night like this with you just as much as you did. You know for a fact he did because every day he asked, "you coming over tonight?"

If you knew that was going to the last night you got to spend with Jean, you would've done it differently. Said some more things, been a little bolder.

But you didn't know any better. In your eyes, you'd wake up tomorrow morning and relive the same day as always, ending up in room again just to hang out.

But that wasn't the case at all. In fact, when you open your eyes the very next morning, your life was changed forever.

It had started off normal, you were knocked out in your bed, your body taking advantage of the opportunity to sleep since you were up all night.

Then, per usual, Mikasa shakes you awake and gets your ready for the day. You eat breakfast with your brothers and meet Phoenix at the entrance gates like you have been for the past couple days.

You knew he was only going to be in town for a week. He said that the very first day he visited. You knew that he was due to propose before he left and considering it was his last day here, you should've know that it was about time for him to pop the question.

Yet, it had completely slipped your mind. You weren't sure if it was because your mind was consumed by the ticking of a nearby clock as you watch it intently as if it'll make the day go faster or if it was because you subconsciously refused to believe it was actually going to happen.

"Before I leave back to Cicily, want to go for a walk?" Phoenix says, calling your attention back over to him. You snap your head away from the clock. "Sure."

Just like the first day he spent here, the two of you walk toward the rose garden except this time, it's him leading you.

You still didn't think much of it. You kept your eyes on your surroundings. The sun was out but faint gray clouds selfishly blocked it's rays of light.

He made small talk as you two walked through the maze. He behaved like he did every other day, friendly and flirty but respective at the same time.

You felt terrible because he really was a nice guy and was fun to be around, truly. But every minute you spent with him, part of your mind was consumed by thoughts of Jean instead. It was like you were in two places at once.

A majority of the time you spent with Phoenix, you weren't entirely present although you played it off well. Of course you kept the conversation going so he wouldn't just be talking to himself but your attention was never 100% there

He honestly didn't seem to notice which blew your mind. Either he was completely oblivious to the fact that everytime you looked at him, you pictured someone else or he just chose to ignore it. He did have a duty to fulfill after all. One way or another, he had to marry someone and it was kinda too late for him to start being picky.

He's going on and on about something and you're nodding along with him even though you're not fully paying attention. You walk along side him, looking at each rose you pass by. You don't even notice he stopped walking and was standing just a few feet behind you.

You could feel your breath cut short. It almost felt like something was pressing up against your chest. Your heart rate accelerated and you were almost scared it was going to explode.

You knew what was happening behind you and for that very reason, your frozen body refused to turn around. It was like if you didn't see it with your eyes, it wasn't actually real.

But it was. He was really doing what you dreaded for years. This was it. It was finally happening.

You turn slowly and see him down on one knee just like you knew he was. Your heart drops to your stomach.

"I know this isn't exactly what you had in mind. I'm sorry we didn't have enough time to get to know each other." He begins. "But in the short time of knowing you, I know you're a beautiful person. I don't mean looks wise even though, yes you are gorgeous but most importantly, on the inside."

You stare down at the stunning, glistening diamond ring between his fingers. It was stunning . Any normal girl would be screaming her head off right now. So why weren't you?

"I think the reason it took me so long to choose someone to marry was because I wanted to make sure I chose the right person. Where I come from, we pride ourselves in being caring people. It wouldn't make sense if I made someone cruel and selfish as the queen of a land like that." Phoenix continues.

In all honesty, his words were drowned out by the sound of your pounding heart. You couldn't believe this was actually happening even though it was happening right before your very eyes.

"I promise I'll try my best to make you happy. You can have anything you want. I'll take you wherever you want to go. I know you haven't been granted much freedom here and I want to be the one to give that to you." He finishes.

Your heart finally stops it's overwhelming loud thumping and you hear those last sentences clearly. "Really?"

"Really." He smiles. "A girl like you deserves to the see the world. No. The world deserves to see a girl like you."

[play Million Years Ago by Adele here]

It almost felt surreal. Seeing someone down on one knee in front of you, bearing a ring, asking for your hand in marriage.

You could lie to yourself all you wanted and say you never saw this coming but deep down you always knew it was inevitable since you were a child.

Your life as a young girl was coming to a bittersweet end. Your life seemed to be flashing before your eyes. Once you put on this ring, everything was going to change.

Part of you wanted to say no. Part of you wanted to run away. But to live the life you wanted, the life you yearned for, you had to say yes.

He was promising you the world. Promising to help bring your dreams within your reach.

So why were you hesitating? Why were you not jumping up and down? Why weren't you happy?

In order to achieve your dreams, sacrifices had to be made. You were mature enough now to understand that. Yes, you'd be leaving everything and everyone behind but it's not like you couldn't come visit from time to time, right?

You were holding on to the past. Terrified to let go of the childhood you wish you had. But it was like Jean said, time machines don't exist, you have to live in the moment and forget about the past. It's the past for a reason.

Jean.

That was another thing you seemed to be childishly holding on to. Selfishly holding on to someone who isn't yours. Who you already told how you felt for him years ago and he didn't care.

A prince. A literal fucking prince was on his knees for you, ready to give you everything you ever dreamed of and promising to spend forever with you. Yet, in the back of your mind was Jean Kirstein for some sad, pathetic reason.

Your brothers were right. You were delusional and lost in your own day dreams and desires. It was selfish of you to assume you could claim Jean as only yours when he had his own desires and his own dreams. None of which included you.

"Okay."

Phoenix's eyes light up. "Is that a yes?"

It was hard to speak. It was like you couldn't. More like you didn't want to. But you do anyway. "Yes. I'll marry you."

He smiles the biggest you ever seen him, pure and innocent happiness pouring out from him as he embraces you in a hug. You force yourself to hug him back.

He pulls away and slips the gigantic rock onto your ring finger, the sunlight above reflecting it and almost blinding you.

You look up at the sky and see the clouds seem to have grown darker, almost like it was about to rain. It was like the sky matched the way you felt.

Phoenix gushes some more ecstatic words and gestures but they all sound like static. You were frozen in time, almost in shock to what was happening.

You walk beside him toward the front of the castle, stopping in front of the gates. He says some more things you don't understand, all you could hear was the sound of faint thunder in the distance.

You see him wave goodbye to you after he hugs you one last time. As he enters his carriage, you stare off into the village while the gates are still open.

You see the citizens of Elida carrying on like nothing. To them, today was a normal day.

Seeing them made you feel worse. They had barely begun to acknowledge you. It took years for them to admire you the way they do now. Before, you were the "sick" girl everyone was scared to be around.

You remember having to work hard to gain everyone's trust. You would crack jokes to make them laugh, using humor as your only defense mechanism. It was all you could do at the time.

They had only seen you a total of two times in your entire life. And now you'll practically disappear from their memory as you move almost across the Earth. All the effort you put in for them to love you would have been for nothing.

You wave goodbye as the carriage disappears out of sight. You could feel your breathing get harder and harder, your chest heaving quickly. You wanted to run. You wanted to scream. But everyone was watching you.

You quickly turn on your heel and begin to walk hastily back to the castle. You hear guards and staff mutter congratulations to you as you pass them but the sound of your stomach turning was much louder.

The more you heard their voices, the faster you ran. You could feel tears force their way up to your sad eyes and your throat tighten.

All you wanted was to be alone. You wanted to cry but didn't want anyone to see you. You still had a front to put up.

You rush through the halls, your eyes stinging as wind blows into them. To make matters worse, you see the last two people you wanted to see right now standing outside your bedroom door.

Mikasa and Jean.

"Hey, there you are." Mikasa says. Her face then melts. "Whoa. What happened? Are you okay?"

You push right past her and slam the door open to your room and just as loudly, close it shut behind you.

Once the door is closed, you run over to your vanity and place both hands on the surface. You stare into the mirror as you try to calm your breathing but your lungs fail you miserably.

You cover your mouth with your hand as if that'll somehow help stop you from crying. Incoherent whimpers leave your suffocated mouth and you fall to your knees as you begin to wail like a child.

Mikasa pushes the door open and stands there in shock. Jean stands behind her, his face completely heartbroken as he sees you sob uncontrollably.

She only hesitates for a moment before she runs to you and pulls you into her arms. You begin to cry even harder.

You could easily take this pain away. Your body on its own took away physical pain but emotional or mental pain, you had to do that on your own.

But for some reason, you didn't. It was almost like you wanted to feel the devastation. You wanted to feel one last thing before you grew numb to the fact you had to pretend this is what you wanted.

She strokes your back as you cry in her arms. You could feel her body tremble like she was trying not to cry too. Your head on her chest, you could've swore you could almost hear her heart break.

You hear the sound of your bedroom door close and you realize Mikasa left it open, closing it being the last thing on her mind. Meaning, it must've been Jean who closed it for you.

For some reason, the fact he saw you break down with his own eyes made you cry even more. They weren't necessarily tears of humiliation or embarrassment but tears of sadness and anger.

"Just take it away." Mikasa whispers. "You don't have to feel this way."

She gently strokes your back some more, trying her hardest to comfort you in any way she can. "I'm so sorry yn but this is how you get what you want. He can help you achieve everything you ever dreamed of."

"I don't want to depend on someone else to make my dreams come true. I want to achieve them on my own." You argue.

"What are you going to do? Run away? You wouldn't last out there on your own. Y/n, you've been in one place you're entire life. You have no idea what it's like out there." She tries to convince you.

She grabs your limp hand and clutches it her own. She plants a soft kiss on it before she brings it to your chest. She was trying to force you to take the pain away.

You pull your arm away quick and fall backwards on your butt away from her. "Stop!" You angrily wipe tears from your face, the rough material of your dress rubbing aggressively against your already sensitive skin. "I don't want to take it away." You say as you wobbly stand up on your two feet.

Mikasa remains seated on the floor and just looks up at you, her eyes filled with sadness. You close your eyes, the last and final tears slipping down the sides of your cheeks before you brush them away. "I want to remember this moment. I want to remember how it feels."

If your body didn't instantaneously take away physical pain, you were sure you would've felt the excruciating pain of a broken heart. You felt the sadness of it but not the physical aching of your chest.

But you weren't sad anymore. You were angry. Angry that even if you hadn't said yes to him, your parents wouldn't have let you say no either. It was either you did it of your own free will, or it was going to happen by force.

You dart out your room, leaving Mikasa on the floor as she calls after you. You hope you don't see Jean in the hallway but he's actually long gone thankfully.

You speed down the stairs and head straight to the guard common room where again, you pray you don't bump into Jean. Not only were you embarrassed he saw you cry like a baby but you were too pissed at the moment and if he happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time, you would let all that anger out on him and then your friendship would become even more tainted that it was already becoming.

You spot the exact person you're looking for, seated at his desk and reading some important document that he's concentrated on.

Levi was your fencing instructor and taught you every Tuesday and Thursday. He was the best swordsmen in Elida. Hell, he was probably the best in the whole damn world. He was extremely hard to beat but you didn't care. You just needed to release the anger without using your power to take it away.

He also taught your brothers sword fighting and even though you wanted to learn too, fencing was the best they allowed you to do since you were a woman. Talk about sexist.

"Princess? What are you doing in here?" Levi Ackerman looks up from his desk. He stands up instantly when he sees the furious expression on your face. "What happened?"

You sniffle and wipe at your nose with your sleeve. "Fight me."

He backs his head up, completely confused. "I'm sorry?"

"FIGHT ME!" You shout. You point over at the fencing equipment against the wall. "Right now, fight me."

[play The Seed by AURORA here]

He stares at the equipment for a moment and then back at you. "Princess..."

You groan loudly and grab the stuff yourself. You take one of the swords and shove it against his chest. "I'm not asking you."

He stares at you for a moment, studying your tear stained face and resentful expression. He could tell you needed this right now. "Alright, come on."

He hands you your fencing uniform and even though you refuse to wear it right now, he warns you that he isn't going to go anywhere with you unless you put it on.

Once the two of you are fully dressed, he hands you your mask to wear but you toss it aside. "I already have the outfit on, that's good enough."

His vexed expression twitches. He wasn't used to your attitude being this demanding or disrespectful. Around him, you were always lighthearted and energetic.

He tosses his mask aside too and gets into position. "You want to tell me what's wrong with you?"

"No." You answer flatly. You get into position and prepare yourself. "I don't want to talk either. I just want to fight."

The sky was getting darker, the clouds completely swallowing the sun whole. The distant thunder was getting even closer.

He sighs and adjusts his position. "Alright. On 1." He then begins to count down. "3..2..."

"1." You finish for him. As soon as the number leaves your mouth, you dive forward and your swords crash into each other.

The fight doesn't hesitate to break out, his movements quick and hard to read. Your favorite thing about Levi was he wasn't the type to "take it easy" on someone. He always gave his 100%.

You try your best to keep up but you barely dodge his strikes. You trip over your own feet several times and the tip of his sword even grazes your clothes at certain points.

He was too fast for you but you try anyways. You refused to give up. You try your best to focus and copy his movements and read past each one of them.

You feel your boot dig into the soft earth behind you and you almost lose your balance. For just a spilt second, you avert your eyes to look back and he takes advantage of it by striking you.

You fall to the floor and land on your palms. Damn it.

You were normally always so good at everything you tried but even if you were amazing at this, you weren't going to be better than Levi. That would take years. You unfortunately didn't have years to waste. Not anymore.

You don't hesitate to get back up, wiping sweat from your forehead with your forearm. You take a deep breath. "Again."

"Y/n." He warns.

"I wanna go again." You repeat, your voice stern. "I'm not going to stop until I win."

He sticks his sword down into the grass. "In that case, you should fight one of your brothers instead. You'll have a better chance at winning."

You could feel your blood start to boil. "I DON'T WANT TO!" You yell. "I want to fight you because you're the best. Aren't you the best?"

He sighs. "That's what they say."

You crack your neck on both sides. "Then let's go again."

He takes in a deep breath before pulling his sword out from the ground. "Okay. On 1." He starts. Your adrenaline began to pump again.

"3...2.."

You lunge at him before he even says one, hoping to catch him off guard but he reacts quickly.

The fight begins again and he still doesn't falter with his stealthy movements. To beat him, you knew you had to be quicker and smarter. You had to call his next move before it even happens but it almost seemed impossible. It wasn't hard to see why they called him "Humanity's Strongest Soldier."

You try to change your movements from the ones you usually do to try to maybe throw his game off but he adapts almost instantly. No matter what you did, he countered it perfectly. You were beginning to grow frustrated.

In fact, you were too busy trying to come up with new tactics in your head that your body couldn't keep up with two things at once.

He does a move you've never even seen him do before and you do your best to avoid it instinctively but you fail miserably, falling onto your knees again.

"DAMN IT!" You smack the dirt underneath you with frustration.

They're right. I'm too weak. I can't do it alone. I can't make my dreams come true without a man.

"I'm weak." Your voice cracks as you admit it out loud.

He steps closer to you hovering over you as your remain on your hands and knees and your head cowered to the ground. "Then practice to get stronger."

Your fingernails dig into the dark dirt as you grow disappointed in yourself. "I don't have time. I'm running out of it."

Maybe I don't need to get stronger. Maybe I just need everyone to be weaker.

You stand up weakily. One foot before the other. "Again."

The sky turns eerily dark and it begins to pour down hard. His eyes stretch with fear as the aura around you turns as black and haunting as the sky above. Your eyes turning just as catastrophic. He even backs up a little. "Yn, I think that's enough."

"I SAY WHEN IT'S ENOUGH AND I'M NOT FINISHED." You demand as your grip tightens around your sword and you step forward.

You could see the terror in his face as the bubbly girl he has watched grow up becomes a complete other person. Someone who was almost unrecognizable. Someone almost inhumane. "Very well, your highness." He clears his throat.

You don't even wait for him to countdown this time, you just go straight to attacking him.

After a few stabs and swings, his movements start to get slower this time and you begin to think he's going easier on you to get it over with but that's not it.

Even his body seems slower and weaker. His face looked older and he even began to develop a hostile cough mid fight.

Levi wasn't the type to go easy on you to get the fight over with. He was the type to kick your ass to get the fight over with.

So how come you were able to push him to the point where it seemed like he was slipping?

Every attack he tries, you block. Every attack you try, he barely defends. It almost gave you a thrill that you were suddenly overpowering him. Someone who was deemed so strong had become so weak before your very eyes.

He crashes to the ground and begins to breathe horribly like he's being choked. You drop your
sword and fall to your knees next to him. "Oh my god, are you alright? What happened?"

"I'm not sure." He coughs and grips at his chest. "I just started feeling weak."

You move soaking wet hair from his face. "I'm sorry."

He sits up on his knees and tries to recollect himself. "Why are you apologizing? It isn't your fault."

You sit in front of him. "I..I don't know. I just kinda felt like it was my fault." Why were you apologizing? It's not like you were the reason he suddenly got weak, right? That was impossible.

"Maybe it's the rain." You offer as you look up to the sky, the aggressive rain beginning to settle down a little. The raindrops fall on your face and you squint to avoid it getting in your eyes.

He laughs and bends a knee to get back up again. "Or maybe I'm just getting old." He jokes. He was only 36 so you knew it wasn't that. He was younger than your father was and he was still in good shape for his age as well.

You help him up and try to heal him as you do. You could feel how weak he was through your
palms, it was like all the strength and energy he had in him suddenly disappeared.

Now you knew for certain he wasn't faking it.

You walk with him back inside where you're safe for the rain. "I'm sorry again, Levi. I just needed to prove something to myself. I shouldn't have dragged you into it."

"It's okay." He states as he points at the ring on your finger. "I understand."

You stare down at the engagement ring, completely forgetting you were still wearing it and he disappears back into his office, his health fully restored again.

Now you were soaking wet and your boots were covered in mud. All you wanted to do now was take a hot bath and crawl into bed and not come out for a couple days.

You kick off your shoes to avoid leaving muddy shoe prints all on the squeaky clean castle floors. The sound of your barefeet slap across the surface and you change back into your dress before heading back to your room.

You keep your head down and try your best to avoid all the most common populated areas. You
didn't want to see or talk to anyone right now.

You swear you're out of plain sight when you inch closer to your room without bumping into anyone successfully but you're completely wrong.

You turn the corner and see Jean standing in front of your bedroom, his back up against the door and his arms crossed. "You're avoiding me."

You avoid his eyes. "Oh good, you noticed."

Mid attempt to reach for the doorknob, he blocks it. You glare up at him. "Please move. I'm not in the mood."

"Can you just talk to me for a second?" He begs.

You throw your hands up in the air. "About what?!" He then points to your ring finger that a huge, gleaming rock sat on. "About that."

You look down at your finger and twist the ring around. "I don't want to."

He steps closer to you and lifts up your chin so you can meet his eyes. "Okay, we don't have to talk about it but can you at least let me know if you're okay?"

You get lost in his eyes for a moment. They were such a soft almost sage color but with hints of brown almost making them look hazel. You shift your head to the side so that it falls out of his grip. "I'm fine."

"If you didn't want to marry him, you could've said no." Jean mentions.

You knit your eyebrows together. "Actually, I can't. If I don't marry him, they'll just make me marry someone else who won't be nearly as nice as he is."

You step away from him and shake your head. "I figured because I was a princess, I could have my fairytale ending like the books I used to read as a child but although I'm a princess, this isn't a fairytale. This is real life. I have a duty and that duty is to marry and bring strong kingdoms together to make them even stronger."

You walk over to one of the open windows and rest your hands on the stone pane as you look outside. "This isn't just about what I want anymore. In order to give all the people in this kingdom a better life, it's up to me to bring in more opportunities for them."

There was an invisible hand gripped tightly around your throat and your manicured nails dig into the stones your palms rest on. "Everyone is right. Marrying for love doesn't really exist. Not in my world at least. That's why if you ask every other prince and princess who isn't as stupid and naive as I am, they'll tell you the exact same thing."

"So that's it? You're just going to be miserable forever?" He asks from behind you.

Your nails dig deeper, scraping against the stone and making an unbearable noise. "I'm not going to be miserable. I'm going to make everyone's lives easier. I'm going to help them all. That's my dream, not marrying for love."

At least not anymore.

Your back is toward him so you can't actually see him but you know he's shaking his head because you can hear the disappointment in his voice. "Always putting others before yourself."

The bubbling anger that was building in the pit of your stomach shoots up and you spin around to face him. "Do you have any better ideas?! Please, by all means, if you have a better idea, I'm begging you to tell me."

He just stares at you. His face was hard to read but the way he was breathing made you feel like he was getting almost as agitated as you were. You grow impatient just exchanging eye contact. "Is there someone else you think I should marry?"

Jean still says nothing. His eyes just looked at you but when you really looked into them, you could tell his mind was running wild.

"Isn't there anything you want to say to me?" You try to push him further. The silence was driving you crazy.

He finally snaps back at you. "What? Do you want me to say congratulations?"

"Something!" You shout as you step in front of him. "I want you to say something! Say anything! Tell me how you feel!"

He pinches his nose bridge, growing visibly annoyed. "Why does it even matter?! Why does how I feel matter? Why does my opinion matter at all? You already said yes to the guy."

You stare at him, your eyes burning into his skin. "You're a real idiot sometimes, you know that?"

"Huh?" He asks. That wasn't helping prove what you just said wrong at all.

You rush into your room and he tries to beat you to the door and the two of you even wrestle with the knob back and forth before you slam the door closed in his face. He bangs his fist on the door, annoyed that he lost the game of tug-of-war. "Y/n open the door."

"Go away."

He fumbles with doorknob but you locked it just as quick as you ran in there. He kicks the door hard with frustration. "Open the door please." He pleads.

You say nothing and you hear a small thunk on the door where his forehead rests on it. "I don't want to fight with you." He whines.

"We're not fighting." You say on the other end. "I just don't want to talk to you."

"I'm going to start banging harder on the door then until you open up." He warns.

You scoff, not fully believing him. You think there's no way he'd attract that much attention to himself and get himself in trouble but he does exactly that. "Okay, I'm going to count to 3."

You have your back against the door with your arms crossed, completely confident he won't do anything of the sort.

But 3 seconds pass and he's begins to knock loudly at your door, the door shaking behind your back. You feel your body vibrate as it moves along with it. You close your eyes and try to keep your body as still as you can.

You turn and bring your mouth toward the crack on the doorframe. "You're only going to get yourself in trouble."

"I don't care." He snaps.

You want to claim that you don't either but the harder and louder his persistent knocks on the door get, you can feel your body grow anxious that someone will turn the corner and see him practically breaking down your door.

You ball your hand up in a fist and bang on the door hard one time. He bangs back just as hard causing you to jump back a little. It's quiet for a moment and you think he finally stopped but you should know better that Jean isn't the type of person to just give up. He can be very determined and goal oriented, that persistent fuck.

"I know you're still there." He says from behind the door. You stay as quiet as possible to try to prove that sentence wrong but it doesn't work out. "If you don't open the door on the count of 3, I'm going to bang on the door even louder this time. I won't stop until someone comes either."

"I don't believe you." You test him.

"Okay." He says simply. He's quiet for a total of three seconds and then just as he said, he begins to beat down on the door again, twice as loud as he did originally.

You throw your hands over your ears and internally panic. You didn't want to give in but you also didn't want him to get in trouble either.

You let out a loud groan before you unlock the door and swing it open, "WHAT?!"

He smiles when he sees you finally open up. That manipulative little shit. "Finish what you were going to say."

You push him out into the hall. "Fuck you."

"Why does my opinion matter?" He continues the conversation from earlier.

You step out into the hall with him. "You never read any of letters I sent you, did you?" You ask. You could feel your body shake as rage seeped out of your pores. You shoot two fingers into the air. "I sent you a total of two letters. One was the day after you left. I apologized and I said I hope you didn't hate me."

Your hand comes down. "The last one was on my 13th birthday. Just two months after you left."

The face he made answered your question for you. He didn't read a single one. "What did it say?"

You take in a deep breath and try not to let the fact he didn't even bother to open the letters get to you. "It doesn't matter anymore now. You should've read it when I first sent it to you."

You try reaching for the door again but he steps in front of you. "Okay I'm sorry but why can't you just tell me right now?"

"Because no!" You argue. He gets just as loud. "Why?!"

"Because it's embarrassing! It's embarrassing how I could admit how I felt at 13 fucking years old and you can't even do it right now." You finally reach your limit and the words just pour out of you.

"It was my 13th birthday. At the time I swore I was a woman already. My brothers hated me for
being the reason you had to leave and blamed me for you not wanting to talk to them. I didn't have anything to lose so I confessed to something." You carry on to explain.

He blinks dumbly. "Confessed to what?"

God, men really are the dumber species.

You lift up your hand and wiggle your fingers, dragging attention to your ring finger. "Doesn't matter anymore, does it?"

You move him out the way and reach for the door knob. This time he doesn't stop you. You're one foot in when he speaks again. "Does this mean you're not going to come over anymore?"

You keep your eyes ahead, refusing to look back. "You're the one who told me I should stop, weren't you?"

He steps right behind you and you can feel his body warmth and his breath on your exposed neck. You immediately get flashbacks to the night of your birthday ball where he pulled on your corset strings. "I didn't mean that." He claims.

His hands slip around your waist and he pulls you back toward him, your back colliding with his chest gently. Your heart was beating so slow and your breathing matched it's pace.

"Then why would you say it?" You say softly, barely being able to speak at all due to how you were screaming on the inside.

"I'm an idiot. Just like you said." He admits, his voice sounded like angelic music to your ears, his lips right by them.

You were so nervous but you do your absolute best to keep your composure. "You're going to feel like a bigger idiot when you read the letters."

He chuckles quietly and lays his forehead on the back of your head. He's quiet for a moment like he's trying to answer his own question. "Why can't I stay away from you?"

His hands still rested on your waist, his thumbs caressing the fabric as if by memory. You felt goosebumps spread across your skin and all the different sensations he was giving you. "Jean."

"Don't say it." He cuts you off, his forehead still pressed against your head. "I already know."

You could feel your heart twist like someone ringing out a sponge. If he had only read the letters sooner, maybe things would have been different. At least that's what you'll keep telling yourself.

His hands come around your stomach and meet in the middle, hugging you from behind. "I'm so sorry."

A whimper leaves your lips and you pull away from him, closing the door behind you. This time you didn't plan on opening it anymore.

But he doesn't beg you to this time either.