"You've been out here for hours." Jean says as he stands beside you.

You look up from where you sit, fresh blades of evergreen grass sprouted out from around you. "Since 6am. What time is it now?"

He looks down at his watch. "2pm."

You look back down at your progress around you. "I didn't even realize it's been that long. Feels like just a few minutes."

He raises an eyebrow. "Seriously?" He then takes a seat on the plush grass beside you. "It sounds like it would be exhausting."

You tilt your head as you wiggle your fingers that rested on the ground. "Sometimes. Depends on how I'm feeling."

"And how are you feeling?" He asks.

You meet his eyes. "I feel..." You struggle to put the emotion into words. You weren't quite sure how to explain it. You were feeling a little bit of everything.

His amber eyes only made it harder to search for the word. When you looked at him, your brain could only focus on the way he looked right back at you.

You sigh and turn back to the ground as you shut your eyes and try to regain stability. "Maybe you should leave."

"Oh, am I distracting you?" He teases.

"Yes, actually." You laugh. "Ember may be small but it can't all be done in one day."

He moves a strand of hair from your face, his fingertips swiftly passing your cheeks. "You've been doing this for three days now."

He then looks out into the distance. "You've done a lot so far. The grass is almost fully grown, the trees don't look like twigs anymore and even the air feels cleaner."

"I'm not finished." You remind him. "When I said I was going to heal Ember, I didn't just mean the country itself. I meant the people too."

"I know." He sighs as he rests his arms behind him so he can sit comfortably. "I just don't want you to overwork yourself."

You lift your hands from the ground, the gentle vibrations coming to an end. You shift your body to face him. "Okay, you have ten minutes."

"I need more than ten minutes." He smiles as he kisses you. You kiss him back and feel your shoulders fall as you do. It was the first time you two had kissed in what felt like months.

His hands rested on both sides of your jaw as his thumbs trace your lips. "But I'll take whatever I can get."

You can't help but smile at his smooth remarks. He was back to the old Jean again. "You're in a good mood."

"I'm amazed by you." He responds as he throws his arm toward the scenery. "This place looked like complete shit and now look at it. You've completely turned it around in just three days. All by yourself."

Your brows melt as your buttery eyes soften. "I'm sorry, Jean. For everything. I've been busy these past few days so I haven't had a chance to be alone with you like this."

"Why are you apologizing?" He asks. "Nothing that happened was your fault."

"I'm talking about the way I treated you when you arrived here." You correct. "I basically brushed you aside, treated you as if you weren't there. I was so blinded by hatred that I didn't think about anyone else. I'm sorry."

He turns away from you, recalling how mortifying it felt to feel like a pesky fly annoying you for the past week. Not to mention the fact that you hugged Phoenix the moment you saw him but told Jean to leave the second you saw him. Talk about a stab to the chest.

"I'm sorry I hugged Phoenix and not you." You read his mind. "When I first saw you, I was angry you were stupid enough to come here alone. I didn't want to hug you, I wanted to smack the side of your head."

He chuckles. You smile before you continue. "I hugged Phoenix because I found out he came along with you guys and I was happy he was still alive. I know you're a fighter. I know you can survive what many others can't. Phoenix is different. He's a rich prince whose biggest problem in life is that his ex-fiancé is in love with someone else."

Your free hands reach out to his. "And I really am in love with you. I guess I just have a funny way of showing it." 

"Funny isn't the word I'd use." He pretends to be hurt. You knock his shoulders with yours. "Hey, I already apologized. Can we kiss again?"

"Gladly." He says as he does just that. Truth was, you didn't even have to apologize to him. He completely understood the situation. He knew that you had much bigger problems to deal with than choosing between two guys.

He wasn't angry with you at all. He was happy, relieved and over the moon. He survived and so did you. Surprising when you could've bet one of you was going to die eventually in this story. Maybe you had just read romeo and juliet far too many times.

"You guys make me sick." Eren says from behind the two of you as your lips lock together. As you pull away, Jean looks up at his friend. "Didn't you have sex in my bed?"

Eren pouts. "Fair enough." He then sits next to you on the other side. "Looks pretty good out here. It's coming along."

"Thanks." You say as you look down at where he sits. "I would go a lot faster if you guys didn't bother me every five minutes."

Eren yawns and leans back on the ground with his hands crossed behind his head. "Don't worry, you won't even notice I'm here."

"You're interrupting something." Jean leans forward to look at Eren. "Go away."

"You mean your tongue ten inches down her throat?" He says, his eyes closing shut.

"Hey!" You hit the side of his rib.

He flinches. "Sorry, Princess."

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Jean continues to question him.

Eren opens one eye. "What do you think, moron? Why else would I willingly sit here?"

You glare at him. "Are you trying to get me to make you stronger while I heal the land? That's why you're laying down next to me?"

He shoots up and points at Jean. "If I can't be here, he can't either!"

"I don't have the same intentions you do." Jean argues.

"Oh, I know your intentions, buddy." Eren hints.

"Eren." You warn.

He throws his body back onto the ground. "I'll be quiet."

You look at Jean who seemed to be growing more annoyed by the second. "It's okay. He's not the only one who is doing the same thing. Every so often someone stops by and just happens to sit near me as I work. I know what they're doing."

"Doesn't that make you feel..." Jean trails off.

"Used?" You finish for him. "I have to heal them all anyway so might as well let some get a head start."

He shakes his head. "You've done enough for these people already. They're going to have food to eat for years. They can breathe clean air again. You restored their water supply."

"Jean." You attempt to stop him.

"People are going to take advantage of you." He keeps at it regardless. "Stories will spread about how you healed an entire kingdom and its people and then every other place in the world will want you to do the same."

Eren chimes in. "Hey, if they pay her, I don't see the problem."

"Money isn't the problem." Jean says. "The problem is that the more she does this, the more she takes that energy away from herself."

Eren sits up. "Then we just toss her in the water like we did the first time she ran out of energy and she's all charged up again, right?"

"Can you two not speak of me as if I weren't right here?" You remind them that you're hearing every single thing they say.

You stand up from the ground. "It's my decision. I'll know whenever someone is just using me or genuinely asking for my help."

As if you spoke it into existence, a group of adolescent girls come running up to you. All of them wore dresses that were a size too small and their shoes had holes in them.

One girl clasps her hands together. "You're the princess, right? The one who can heal anything?"

You look over at Jean and then back at the group of giddy girls. "I am."

She drops to her knees, her hands still together. "Please heal my eyes. I can't see without glasses and I hate the way I look in them."

Another girl does the same gesture. "I have horrible acne and nothing works to help it. Please help me."

Another one pushes them out of the way to be front and center. "Can you make me prettier? I want clear skin and long, straight hair!"

"Uh...." You look at the two boys who stood idly beside you, carefully watching the group of teens to make sure they don't overstep but also amused by your reaction to them.

Jean leans beside you to whisper in your ear. "Time to find out who is using you and who actually needs your help, huh?"

You give him the side eye. This was going to be a lot harder than you thought.

・❥・

As soon as you walk through your bedroom door, you collapse onto the bed. "God, I'm so tired." You mumble into your pillow.

You were speaking to no one in particular and grateful for the fact you finally got some time alone. Between your friends and the villagers, people never left your side. They all wanted something from you.

After the group of teenagers bombarded you, the word spread like wildfire and people crowded around you as they cried and begged for you to fix whatever it was that was broken inside them.

You stayed out there for hours as you healed them one by one. The second the last person walked away, you ran back inside the castle before anyone could stop you again.

You could feel your eyes slowly close and drool slip out of your mouth and onto your pillow. Sleep graces your presence for a few minutes until you hear a knock on the door.

Time waits for no one.

You wanted desperately to tell whoever it was at the door to go away or simply come back later. Instead, you say, "Come in."

Katalina pops her head in as the door separates itself from the wall with caution. "I'm so sorry to bother you, your grace."

You sit up straight, tossing whatever you were feeling aside for a brief moment. "Is something wrong?"

She frowns. "No. Not at all. Everything is quite wonderful, actually."

As happy as you felt for her, you were slightly irritated that she seemed to have woken you up for nothing.

She seems to notice your displeasure. "Uh," She pulls out something from behind her. A wooden box was resting in her palm. It didn't seem familiar at all until you got a closer look.

You take the box from her as she continues. "I found this for you. I cleaned it and everything."

You pull the box open and inside lays the dagger Jean gave you for Christmas. You had completely forgotten during that fiery moment that you had tossed it aside for something bigger. It hadn't occurred to you then that you could've lost it and never saw it again.

"I know Princesses aren't allowed daggers." She explains. "So, I assumed it was a gift from someone dear to you. That it may mean a lot to you."

Your fingers wrap around the dagger as you lift it from the box and lay it on the palms of your hands. "It did mean a lot to me."

With the tip of your finger, you tap gently on the very tip of the blade. There was no longer any sign of blood on the weapon but you could still see it vividly in your mind. "Now I just think about something else."

You set the blade back into the box and lay it on the nightstand. "Regardless, I appreciate you going to the lengths of finding it and cleaning it for me. Thank you."

She laughs bashfully. "It's the least I can do. You changed our lives. You cleaned a mess that was never yours to begin with. You had the opportunity to escape and you still stayed here to help us."

Now it's your turn to laugh. "I promised you I would, didn't I? I just needed you to trust me."

"I'm glad I did." She smiles. She looked like a small girl standing in front of her idol. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you about Prince Markell."

You cross your legs. "Don't be. He had a lot of us fooled. Not just you."

"Right." She pinches her fingers together. She didn't want to leave your presence but she was also out of things to say. "I just wanted to say I admire you."

You look at her. She was a flustered mess like she was presenting in front of a large group. "I don't know if your brother will live but if he does not, I'm certain you'll make an incredible queen."

The idea of Kai not living makes your heart sink into the deepest part of your stomach. Each time you heard his name, it was just a reminder he was your only partially-living family member.

"Well," She spins on her heel. "I won't take up more of your time. I'll let you get your rest. Don't hesitate to ring for me if you need anything."

You nod graciously as she leaves the room. The second the door shuts, you let your head fall into pillowcase once again.

Not even a minute later, there's another knock at your door. You groan and sit up. "Come in."

Mikasa and Jean both step into your room. "Sorry, were you sleeping?" She asks.

"Not even close." You answer.

She holds a gift basket in her arms. "Someone you healed told me to give this to you. Something about you healing his grandmother's artritis."

You point to the corner for your room that was stacked with gift baskets and other presents of the sort. "You can set it over there."

You watch as she sets it down next to all the other gifts. "Is it fucked up if I just give all this stuff away? They need it more than I do."

"Actually," Mikasa turns around. "You do need it. You haven't ate at all. Maybe you should open one of these up. Or I can tell the kitchen you'd like something to eat."

"I'm not hungry." You argue. "I just want to sleep."

Jean walks over to the corner of your room and shuffles through all the baskets. "Wait, you haven't ate? Don't you think you should do that?"

You throw your body back and lay face up in the bed. "What do you want me to do? Force myself to eat? I already told you I'm not hungry."

"You've been healing Ember and it's people for three days straight. I can't imagine the toll it's taking on your body." Mikasa sits at the edge of your bed. "You need food to restore your energy."

You grab your pillow and smush it against your face. "What's the point if I'm just going to give my energy away, anyway? As long as I'm well rested, who cares?"

She rips the pillow off your face before you suffocate yourself. "Rest is important but so is getting your daily nutrients."

"I'm not hungry, Mikasa." You repeat.

"Are you depressed?" Mikasa asks. "People who only sleep and never eat are usually depressed. Do you want me to call a doctor for you?"

You sit up and look at her like she just said the most ridiculous thing. "You're going to call me a doctor?"

"Yes." She answers seriously. "You may be able to heal physical pain but what about what you're mentally feeling? You've been through so much lately. You have every reason to be depressed or have any suic-"

"Mikasa." You stop her. "Get out."

Her mouth closes shut but you can tell she wanted to keep going. You knew she was only trying to help and that she was genuinely worried about your mental health. Honestly, she had every reason to worry. You just didn't want to have to deal with it right now while you're half asleep.

She stands up. "Fine." She looks at Jean before she exits, silently praying he does a better job at getting through to you.

You wait for his response, which you knew was coming. He opens one of the gift baskets and begins to eat whatever looked remotely good. "You shouldn't be so mean to her, you know?"

"Shut up before I kick you out too." You threaten as you crawl back under the covers.

He laughs as he shoves food into his mouth. "I'm just saying. Even after all that mean stuff you told her in the cave, she still is looking out for you."

"Probably because that's still her job." You snap.

"Actually," He sits at the foot of your bed, basket in his lap. "It isn't her job anymore. Your parents employed her and well, they're not around anymore. Technically, she no longer works for you."

You pull the covers over your head. "Good, she's free to leave to Marley now like she wants to so badly."

"Ahhhh," He scoots closer to you, poking at you through the thin sheets. "That's what this is about. You're still upset she's leaving."

You yank the covers off your face. "I'm sorry, are you the therapist Mikasa sent over?"

He smiles as he tosses a grape into his mouth. "You're so pretty when you're feisty."

You try your best not to smile. "Let's see how pretty I look when I burn the both of you for not letting me sleep."

He doesn't even blink. "Sorry, Princess. I'm not scared of you like everyone else is."

You frown. "Why not? I hurt you the most out of all of them. If anything, you should be the most scared."

"Because you brought me back to life." He answers. "You could've left me for dead but you traded your life for mine. You would rather die than to kill me."

Your mouth forms a straight line. "Get out."

"I'm right." He cackles. "You know I'm right and that's why you're kicking me out. Same reason you kicked Mikasa out."

"Or," You lean forward. "And keep up with me here. Maybe I'm just fucking tired!"

He leans forward too. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're depressed because you're spending all your time here when you should be back home?"

You place your face in your hands. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not depressed? If I were depressed, I wouldn't be able to heal people! It'd be raining or frozen outside!"

He shakes his head. "You're good at controlling it. You kept it controlled for years. You forget I can see right through you."

"I'm not depressed." You repeat.

"Maybe." He sets his elbow down on the bed. "But I can tell you're not okay."

"I'm fine."

"You know what I think?" He asks as he now bites into an apple.

"I don't care." You say as you cover your face with the sheets again.

"I think you're avoiding. I think you're wasting your time here, healing people you don't even know and who, by the way, hate our kind, just so you don't have to go back home." He says anyway.

You stay hidden. "It's not a waste of time. I told you I needed to do this first before I do anything else."

He sets the half eaten apple down. "You don't want to go home because you're scared. You're scared to go back and see the way Eldia looks now. You're scared to go home where your family is no longer there."

"Jean." You warn.

"You're keeping yourself busy with these people who are clearly using you because you don't want to think of the mess you'll be coming home too." He disregards your warning.

You shoot up. "Stop!"

"And what about Kai?" He asks. "Doesn't it bother you he's laying in a coma while you're over here helping everyone but him?"

"Please," You roll your eyes. "It isn't like his body is going anywhere anytime soon."

He coughs as he tries not to laugh. "I mean, I guess you're right but his body is still in need of help. It's barely hanging on and every minute counts. Don't you want to make sure you get to him in time?"

"I think he would want me to sleep." You reply. "It's," You look over at the clock. "9:42pm and I've been working all day long. If he were here, he'd want me to sleep."

He knows you're right. Sleep was Kai's solution to everything. Annoyed? Sleep. Angry? Sleep. Sad? Sleep. It was fitting that the boy was in a coma where he was nearly permanently asleep.

He kicks off his shoes and leaves the conversation to rest. "Fine, I'll let you sleep."

You look down at his abandoned shoes and then back at the jacket he was pulling off his body. "What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for bed."

"Not here you are."

He frowns as he stops stripping mid way. "Why?"

You move uncomfortably in your spot. "Because my ex fiancé is literally in the next room and I still haven't told him anything yet."

"Phoenix knows." Jean claims.

"What?" You feel your eyes grow in size. "What do you mean he knows? You told him?"

Jean leans against the bed post. "I didn't have to. He already knew."

"How?"

"You're telling me we don't make it obvious?" He asks.

You blink slowly. Maybe you had done a good job at hiding it before, but it was true that the more time you spent with Jean, the less you were able to hide how much you enjoyed it.

You play with the fabric of your pillow. "It's hard to pretend you aren't desperately in love with someone."

"Trust me, I know." He reminds you.

"I still need to tell him myself. Can you please just give me until we return back to Eldia?" You try to compromise. "I'll tell him the moment we get there."

Jean points his thumb back at the door. "Why wait? Let's do it right now."

"Because he's alone here." You answer. "If I wait until Eldia to break the news to him, he will atleast have his family there with him to bring him home. Besides, I have to tell them as well. Might as well knock it out all at once."

"Fine." He groans as he picks up his shoes from the ground and begins to drag his feet toward the door. "Have fun sleeping alone then."

"Goodnight Kirstein." You giggle. "Sweet dreams."

He dismisses you. "Yeah, yeah. Goodnight."

As much as you wanted him to stay, it were better if he didn't. Not only to spare Phoenix or to save your own reputation considering you were engaged to two different people within the span of three months, but because you weren't sure if you'd actually get any sleep tonight.

Yes, you were exhausted. Your body practically fused into your bed and threatened to never get up again. But your mind was on another level entirely. It had not once stopped to rest the way your body did.

So much has happened in the course of such a short time and even though you've already survived most of it, you were still barely processing what you had actually gone through.

For that reason, that may be why you had got so angry when Mikasa kept suggesting you'd see a doctor of some sort. You wouldn't be surprised if you ended up messed up somehow after all this.

You hated that she was right. You were growing depressed. Your appetite has demolished completely since that awful night and you pretty much slept about 6 times a day now.

Heal. Take a nap. Repeat.

You also hated that Jean was right. You were dragging your feet to return home. You were avoiding it by keeping yourself preoccupied with other things. A way to distract yourself from the thoughts that eat you up at night.

As much as you missed Eldia, you weren't ready to see what was awaiting you there. A good amount of time has passed since then but not enough to completely restore everything. Not to mention, people are probably still in the hospital.

Your brother included.

You sit up and place your head on your knees, your legs folded up to your chest as you stare out the window.

Your room was dark, no candles lit to illuminate the walls except for the dim moonlight that danced through the window. Faint stars twinkled to the music.

And there really was music. You could hear it off in the distance. A surprise considering you were in a castle several feet off the ground.

You kick your feet off the bed and approach the window, the cool night breeze greeting your skin. When you peer over your balcony, you see one of the near villages seemed to be having a party of some sort.

Lights to the homes were lit and everyone joined in the center. A group of men played some instruments while the women danced with their children. Everyone was singing and dancing.

They seemed to be celebrating. Joyous to be living a different life than they were yesterday. They were all thriving in their new skin.

You smile as they watch them. No matter how much doubt you may gain, you knew it was all worth it. To see these people who didn't have anything to live for have the sudden urge to sing and dance. To save them from life of misery and torment.

As elated as it made you feel to see them that way, you couldn't help but feel the slightest bit sad that they weren't people from back home.

Your heart ached knowing none of them were remotely close to feeling the way these people do now.

Why were you wasting time? It was as Jean said, each day that goes by is crucial. If you wanted to save the max amount possible, you needed to be there as soon as humanly possible.

"Fuck it." You grab your coat. "Not like I was getting much sleep tonight anyway."

・❥・

With your cold hands nuzzled into your coat's pockets, you walk down to the center of the plaza. The closer you got to the lit up area, the louder the sound of laughter and music filled the atmosphere.

You try not drag too much attention to yourself by avoiding the main areas and sneaking past from behind the crowd.

To escape the fortunate mass of people and the blistering cold, you enter a nearby bar that you noticed had a fireplace from the window.

There were a few people inside, a majority scattered around as they play darts or cards. The place was quieter than outside but the jumbled sound of conversation filled the void.

You walk over to the bar and take a seat. The person next to you immediately recognizes you.

"Princess?" He slurs.

You almost burst into laughter. "Armin? Is that you? Are you...Are you drunk?"

His face was a bright pink and his eyes batted a lot slower than usual. He actually looked sorta adorable. "I've had a few drinks."

"I see." You look at the empty glasses in front of him before the bartender takes them away. "What's the special occasion?"

He throws his arms out. "Everyone is celebrating."

You no longer had the strength to hold your laugh. "So, you just couldn't resist joining them?"

He burps. "Please don't fire me."

"I won't if you tell me what's really going on." You read him like the many books he made you read.

He lays his head down on the bar. "I did something stupid. Incredibly stupid." He turns facedown and bangs his head three times. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Stupid how?" You ask.

He takes a deep breath. "I.. I was on an adrenaline spree. We had just survived Marco and his army and I felt, I don't know, invincible."

You wait for him to continue. He shuts his eyes. "I had been waiting to do something for a while but I was always too scared to but in that moment, I felt unstoppable so I did it."

"I can't hold the anticipation anymore!" You squirm in your seat.

He lifts his head, a dark red mark on his forehead catching the light. "I asked someone to meet me here."

You sit up straight. "Like a date?!"

"Like a date." He repeats. "It was humiliating."

"What was humiliating about it?" You ask. "Did they say no?"

He looks at you with surprise for a moment. "No, they said they would come. They just haven't showed up yet."

You stare at him. "You're saying they a lot."

"You started it." He hiccups.

"So are you going to tell me who they are?" You pry as you scoot closer.

He shakes his head, slowly realizing the room was beginning to spin. "It's too embarrassing."

"Do I know them or something?" You wonder. "Is that it?"

His blue eyes spring open and his hand shoots up to his mouth. He holds up a finger and then darts off to the men's room. "Armin!" You shout after him.

You sigh as you now sit alone at the bar. The bartender approaches you from the other side as he uses a rag to dry a glass. "Want anything?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you." You answer as you watch the door. There's no way you were dropping that conversation now.

"Wait." The man says. "I know you. You're the princess who married Prince Markell. The one with the magic hands." He wiggles his fingers in the air.

You never take your eyes off the door. "That's me, unfortunately."

He laughs as he grabs a bottle from the top shelf. "Well, your highness, because of you, this bar is making the most money it's ever made in one night. People actually have a reason to celebrate."

He holds the bottle out for you to see. It was gorgeous stained glass in the most abstract shape. "This is our most expensive bottle. We rarely open it, only for special occasions."

He begins to pour some into a glass. "For you, it's on the house."

You watch as he pushes the glass toward you, the liquid making waves as it does. "Thank you."

"What? You don't drink?" He reads your facial expression.

"I can. It just won't be as fun for me as it is for everyone else. My body just absorbs it, I don't feel much unless I drink excessive amounts of it." You explain.

His eyebrows raise. "That's weird."

You grab the glass and just throw it back down your throat. You slam the empty glass down on the table. "Tell me about it."

"Does that mean you want another one?" He pours more into the glass.

You stare at it for a moment, contemplating if you actually should. It'd take a while but if you kept at it, you'd get some kind of buzz going on.

"No, actually," You snap out of it. "I'm fine. I came here to do something specifically. I should probably stop getting distracted and get it over with it."

"Okay," He sets the bottle back. "You might as well take that one since I already poured it." He points to the glass.

"I can take it for you." You hear a voice say behind you. You spin around and see Phoenix standing there. For some reason, your heart starts to beat incredibly fast. Now that you know he knows, you couldn't look at him the same.

Before you can answer, he takes the glass and doesn't even flinch as he takes it with ease. You stare at him in shock. "Wow. What are you doing here?"

He wipes his mouth. "There's a celebration happening." He smiles. "It reminds me of back home. The people of Cicily find any excuse to party."

"Mm." You nod as you look out the window at the dancing people. He turns to look around at the bar as if searching for something but then comes back to you. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something." He says.

"Uh," You freeze. "Now?"

He looked just as uncomfortable as you did. "I hardly ever get to see you alone and it's pretty personal."

You try to find a million excuses to leave in your head. You knew what he was getting at and you really didn't want to do that right now. There was a time and a place for it and this was not at all close to it.

From the corner of your eye you see Armin returning back from the restroom. "Oh thank god." You mutter under your breath.

You jog over to him and push him toward the bar. "Armin! I'm so happy you're back."

"Why?" He grunts. He stops in front of where Phoenix sits. "Oh, you're here too."

"I am." Phoenix answers. He then turns to you. "I still need to talk to you."

"I have to pee." You say quickly.

He blinks slowly. "Um... okay."

"So... I'll be right back." You turn on your heel and dart to the opposite side of the room.

Phoenix purses his lips together. "She's not coming back, is she?"

Armin takes a seat on the stool next to Phoenix. "Nope."

You push through the crowd and exit out the bar. Even though the night was getting late, more and more people seemed to join the party.

People cheer and shout when they see you. The more attention you brought onto yourself, the harder it was to make it across the street.

All these people were healthy. Probably the healthiest they've ever been. These weren't the people you were searching for. You knew there had to be some more left. You could feel it.

After various goodbyes, you fly under the radar as you make it to a quieter part of town. The streets here were lonesome so there wasn't much noise at all.

For some reason, the hair on the back of your neck stands straight up. You thought defeating the bad guys would finally bring your paranoia to an end but yet here you still were. You couldn't help but feel like someone was following you.

And it wasn't in your head either. The sound of approaching footsteps becomes louder and louder as it echos through the empty street.

For a moment you think it's Phoenix, chasing after you after he realizes you tricked him. Or maybe it's Mikasa dragging you back to bed.

Or everything was too good to be true and winning this battle wasn't going to be that easy.

You spin around, ready to face whoever it was that had been following you for several minutes now.

A small girl with her hair in messy pigtails huddles after you, her face dewy with sweat. She puffs air in and out as she tries to catch her breath. "Excuse me."

You look down at her. She was holding a dog half her size in her arms. "My dog. He's been limping for a long time now. He won't eat or sleep because it hurts too much."

The dog plays his part by whimpering and pointing his big, round puppy dog eyes at you. You set your hand gently on his head and allow your palm to shift through his fur.

She sets the dog down as gently as her trembling arms can. When her arms are vacant, she curtsies before you. "Please, princess. He's my very best friend."

"What's his name?" You make conversation as you try to find the problem area on the suffering animal.

"Max." She answers as she looks at her pet with sad, worried eyes.

You smile. "I have a horse named Max."

You finally find the source of the pain when your fingers accidentally graze the wound. The dog whines with a flinch. "It looks like he stepped on something sharp and it went all the way through."

She immediately begins to cry. "Is he going to die?"

"No, of course not." You disguise your laughter. "Give me a few minutes and he'll be back to brand new."

She wipes her nose with her sleeve, snot lining down the cuff of her jacket. She nods as she watches you patiently. "How do you do that?"

You look up. "I was just born with it."

"That's no fair." She pouts. "All I can do is beat my friends at jump rope."

"Sometimes being a jump rope champion is better than having magic powers." You say as you finish up. "Trust me."

The dog springs up as if there was nothing ever wrong with him. He spins around wildly in circles with excitement. He then proceeds to thank you over and over as he licks your face.

The girl squeals as she squeezes her dog into the biggest hug you've ever seen. "He's happy again!"

She releases the dog and throws her arms around you now instead. "You really are an angel just like they say!"

"Angel isn't the word I'd use." You say as you rest your hand on her head. "But I'll take it."

She grins and thanks you a million times before her and her dog race back home. The sound of her laughter disappears the further she gets.

"You're supposed to be resting." You hear a voice say behind you. You flinch at the sound when you know who it is.

As you crane your neck, you see Jean standing over you with his arms crossed. You look up at his disappointed expression that he had since you managed to slip past his sight once again.

You stand up before he can lecture you. "You were right. I need to make it home as soon as possible. I need to finish here so I can make it home to Kai. To everyone."

He rolls his eyes and stands closer to you, his face just a kiss away from yours. "When I said that, I meant let's go back home to Eldia and you can finish here another time. I didn't mean staying up all night so you could finish faster."

Your eyes pour into his, never pulling away. "I can't leave, Jean. I know you all think I'm crazy but I physically cannot leave this place until I'm finished. I'm supposed to be here. I feel this... gravitational pull."

He sighs and grabs a chair, pulling it beside you. "Fine."

You watch as he makes himself comfortable. "You don't have to stay up with me."

He looks over at the long line of people waiting to meet you. "So someone can snatch you up while I'm fast asleep? No thanks."

You giggle. "I think we killed the bad guys already."

"We killed the bad guys." He corrects. "Doesn't mean there isn't any others out there."

You pout as you lean up against his chair, hand resting on his shoulder. "You're a very paranoid man, you know, Kirsten?"

He turns to his left to face you. "And you're a very trusting woman."

You turn back to the line and wave the next person over. "I was betrayed by my own brother, you don't have to worry about me trusting anyone ever again."

"Does that include me?" He asks as he watches the man who approaches you extra carefully.

You smile as you watch his judgmental gaze scan the person. "You quite literally died for me, Jean Kirstein. I think you've proved your loyalty enough."

He smiles as he tries not to laugh. He continues to prove his loyalty by staying up until the crack of dawn beside you as you spent endless hours healing a bunch of strangers you never met prior to this.

It felt like the line went on forever. It took the entire night and a few hours in the morning to finally get to the very end.

Jean was too tired to move from his chair. He would fall in and out of sleep at moments but for the most part, he kept you company the entire time.

You, yourself, were beyond exhausted. You had just spent the past 12 hours giving everyone the health and energy you had. Your legs could practically give out underneath you.

Before anyone else can approach you, you look over at your sleep deprived bodyguard. "Let's go to bed. We can sleep the entire day and leave home tomorrow morning."

"Seriously?" He yawns as he lifts his arms in the air for a stretch.

You take a deep breath. "I feel like I've done all I can. I no longer feel invisible hands pulling me down to stay here. I think I'm finally finished."

He groans as he adjusts his cramped up back. "I guess staying up was worth it."

You link your arms with his. "One down. The rest of the world to go."

He throws his head back. "You're killing me."

You kiss his cheek as a reward for such compliance and also as a thank you. The strain in his face immediately lifts and he exhales with relief. "Come to bed with me."

His eyes light up and his expression changes completely. "Really?"

You feel yourself grin. "Really."

Without questioning it further, he grabs your hand and runs back toward the castle. As discreetly as possible, you both sneak inside to your room to avoid anyone stopping you.

When he makes it to your room, he locks the door behind the two of you. You smile at him as you take a seat on the bed and kick off your shoes. "Just like old times."

He takes off his coat. "I thought you wanted to wait until you spoke to Phoenix."

"Let me have the thrill of sneaking around with you one last time." You say as you watch him approach you. "When we go back, either Kai or I will be king or queen of Eldia. There won't be anyone to stop us from being together anymore. We'll be free."

He stands where you sit, smiling down at you as he grabs your chin to look up at him. "I'm starting to think you only like me because you know you shouldn't be with me. You like the thrill. You like the danger."

You laugh and use his belt loop to pull him closer. "You're right. The second Kai says it's okay for us to be together, I'm going to lose interest."

He leans forward to be closer. "I guess I better make it worth it while I still have your attention." He kisses you gently, his soft lips colliding with yours in the most perfect way possible.

As sweet as the kiss was, you needed more. You needed to release all the pinned up emotions you had inside you. The anger, the stress.

Your finger that was still linked with his belt loop pulls with more force as you pull him even closer to you. The kisses grow even more passionate after that. "Why do you still have clothes on?" You ask him.

Obediently, he takes off his clothes like nothing while you do the same. When you're laying naked in front of him, his breath shutters and he takes a moment to collect himself. "Man, my life is amazing."

"Shut up and make love to me, Kirstein." You say as you part your legs for him. He grins and climbs on top of you, kissing you all over your mouth, lips, face and neck.

With these actions alone, he was already alleviating so much of your pain. With every touch, with every kiss, it was like he was taking it all away. 

After extensive foreplay, he stops himself before he puts anything in. He looks up to the wall above your head. "Wanna take it slow so we don't make too much noise?"

At this point, you didn't care. Your body was screaming for him now. Your nails were practically digging into his skin as your hands try to pull him even closer to you than humanly possible. It was like you wanted to merge into one.

Besides, it was about 1o am so Phoenix most likely wasn't even in his room anymore. He was a free spirit and loved to roam about and meet new people. He isn't the type to stay holed up in a room all day, so he was most likely wasn't on the other side of the wall anyway.

Mikasa and Eren will be too busy with each other. Armin was probably doing the same as Phoenix and was exploring or he is with the person he was waiting for at the bar. You wonder if they ever showed up or not.

"No one is going to bother us." You answer him in between kisses. "And if they do, I don't care. I need this. I deserve this."

He chuckles at your neediness. He doesn't question it any further and takes your word for it. He adjusts his position so that he's right at the entrance, his face down so he can see what he's doing.

You feel him eventually glide in. "Fuuuuck." He groans as he wraps his arms around you. "I've missed you."

Your arms hug him in return as he begins to pump in and out of you. Your hands grip onto the smooth skin of his back.

It felt incredible. With every stroke, you forgot about everything that was bothering you. You were floating on a cloud in infinite bliss. The way he fucked into you made it difficult to think about anything at all.

If Phoenix really was in the next room, you felt terrible. Neither of you cared enough to be the slightest bit quiet. From your moans to the bed frame smacking against the wall, you were sure anyone in the neighboring rooms could hear.

But again, you really didn't give a fuck.

After the first round, you fully expected to go another. Jean normally had enough stamina to keep going even after he's finished. It was how it went everytime you two had sex.

But this time, instead of fucking eachother's brains out for hours on end, the two of you pass out after the first round, exhausted and throughly satisfied. The fact that you both pulled an all-nighter didn't help either.

As much as you would've adored another round, just sleeping beside him was everything you needed and more. His warmth, his presence. It was the more comforting thing.

The day goes by with sleep and sex on and off. Surprisingly, no one ever disturbs you or him. It was almost they all knew you needed this. The peace. The quiet. The comfort of being alone and doing nothing with your lover.

You groan into a stretch as you look at the night sky through your window. The entire day had gone by and all you did was fuck and sleep. Not that you were complaining.

He sits up and brushes his hair with his fingers. "We should eat something. We've gone the entire day without eating anything at all."

"Go get food." You answer him as you cuddle into your pillow.

He looks at you, studying you carefully. "You aren't hungry after all we just did? I'm starving."

"To be fair you put in more work than I did." You tease.

He ignores the joke. "Are you okay? Now that Mikasa pointed out that you're not eating, I can't stop noticing it."

You sit up, annoyed he was bringing this up again. "I swear I'm not hungry. I'm fine! All I needed was some sex and sleep. Now I'm back to normal."

"Sex and sleep isn't going to keep you alive." He shakes his head. "I'd be unstoppable if that were the case."

He scoots closer to you in bed. "Are you okay?"

You could feel your anger begin to bubble up. You were getting tired of hearing the same thing over and over again.

However, you take his words from earlier into consideration. Mikasa was only worried about you because she cares. The same way Jean is right now. You could see it in the way he was looking at you now. It was just like the girl looking at her wounded dog last night.

You take a deep breath. "How can I eat when all I can think about is death? When all I can picture in my head is my dead family? When all I think about is how my home is no longer a home?"

You look down. "I think of hot food and think of Eldia in flames. I think of meat and think of all the charred flesh I've seen in a matter of days. I think of sharing a meal and think of how I'll never be able to eat at the dinner table the same ever again."

You fiddle with your fingers as you look down at your lap. "I'm not skipping meals to be a brat or stubborn. I physically can't eat. I won't be able to keep the food down. Even now, just talking about it..."

You feel your stomach begins to turn. "It just makes me feel sick. I feel disgusted."

Your eyes meet his. "So no, I'm not skipping meals because I'm depressed. I'm just... in mourning."

He nods gently. "I understand." He looks out the window. "We go home tomorrow morning. Are you ready for that?"

"I guess as ready as I'll ever be." You sigh. "I just have to rip it off like a bandaid. I need to get it over with. My life isn't going to be the same. I know that already. I just don't want to admit it."

His shoulders sink. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"For not giving you the life you wanted." He replies. "You got your freedom but at what cost? You were supposed to get the dream ending and have your family beside you."

He genuinely looked sad. He was disappointed in himself as if he had any control of this situation in the first place. His heart hurt for you.

You could see he desperately wanted to help you but had no idea how. He and Mikasa felt useless just watching you slowly deteriorate in front of them.

You understood now why they were always worried about you not eating enough or sleeping too much. It was small things like that they actually could have control of. Tangible things. Easy, fixable things.

You smile and stroke the side of his face. "Maturing is realizing having both was never possible. It was always either or. Choose my family or choose my dream."

Your hand slips off. "I think Ambrose knew that already and that's why he made the choice for me. In his own twisted way, he was making my dream possible. He did make it possible."

Jean grabs your hand, his thumb rubbing against your knuckles. He looks at your connected skin for a moment before he speaks again. "Let's say you fix Kai. He'll be King, right? Where does that leave you?"

"A regular princess." You respond. "Naturally, I'm supposed to get married and have children to carry on with the bloodline."

"Does that still have to be with a prince?" He asks, serious eyes shifting to look at you.

You smirk. "That's up to King Malakai."

Jean's face drops when he realizes that the fate of his future is in the hands of his 21 year old best friend who loved to make his life hell.

                                     ・❥・

The next morning, everyone gathered their things to set off back home to Eldia. You wait for everyone at the bottom of the stairs as they all come down one by one.

Prince Nicholas stands beside you. "Have a safe trip back home. Thanks for everything you've done. Truly. I'm not sure how I'll ever repay you."

"Be in alliance with us." You say without hesitation. "Right now Eldia isn't in the best shape. Bombing damage aside, we have no standing king or queen. It's a mess right now. We need all the support we can get."

"Ember will forever be at your aid." He then frowns. "But isn't Eldia heavily aligned with larger kingdoms like Marley and Paradis? Why do you need our assistance?"

You look over at your friends who talk amongst themselves. "My brother will be king when we get home. He's not... the best example of a stellar prince. In fact, he's extremely lazy and immature. People aren't going too thrilled he's the new king. They were looking forward to my older brother Elijah. He...he was perfect for it."

You clear your throat. "They might not take us seriously with him in the throne. Another thing is whenever the word gets around that Ambrose did what he did... it'll only give them another reason not to trust us."

Your fingers clutch the belongings in your hands with a tighter grip. "I have no idea what's going to happen but all I know is that the more allies we have, the better."

The group all join you and Nicholas at the entrance. You stick out your hand for him. "So? Alliance? It's the least you can do after all. Since you know, your brother killed my family and I healed your kingdom."

He laughs and shakes your hand. "Alliance. From here on out, Ember and Eldia will no longer be enemies."

You smile. "Atleast one good thing came from this." The guards at the doors pull them apart, exposing a large group of people who wait for you at the gates.

They all held flowers in their arms and shouted your name. The crowd was parted down the middle, making a pathway toward the train station.

Your friends stare at the crowd from the stairs in disbelief and you can't help but feel slightly embarrassed. "These are the same people who were calling us Eldian scam just a few days ago." Eren laughs. "Now we're getting a parade escort?"

"They're happy we're leaving." Jean jokes.

"Orrrr," Armin chimes in with a strong sense of optimism. "They actually respect us now. They see we're not all evil. They see we really did want to help them."

He then looks at you and the future king of Ember. "Ember and Eldia have created an alliance for the first time in decades. A life time of war and hatred is over. That's incredible!"

You take it his person did show up to the bar. He was in way too good of a mood.

His big blue eyes smile at you. "You should be proud of yourself. You accomplished something in a matter of days that grown men couldn't do for years."

He then looks back at the cheering crowd. "These people recognize that. You helped change their view on Eldians. From today on, Eldia will have a different reputation. The kind that brings peace."

Jean smiles at you. "Time to go home and tell everyone the good news then."

Sasha is the first one to dart down the stairs. Eren and Armin walk behind her. When Phoenix passes you up, you greet him. "Good morning."

He barely acknowledges you. "Morning." You could feel a breeze of cold air when he passes you down the stairs. He never even looks back at you but instead catches up to Armin and the others.

"Ouch." Mikasa says as she takes a step down. "Even I felt that."

She trails down the steps, Eren waiting for her at the bottom of them. You look over at Jean. "You think he heard us?"

He smirks. "I thought you didn't care."

You roll your eyes and begin walking down the steps. You wave goodbye to Nicholas and to the rest of the staff. "Thank you all for everything!"

Before you walk down the humanoid path, you hear someone running after you. Katalina races toward you and hugs you from behind, her arms around your waist.

"Kat?" You say as you turn to her. Her older sister Val runs after her and attempts to pry her off of you. "Kat, unhand her! I'm am so sorry, your highness."

When Kat eventually tears herself from you, she stands up straight with her head held up. She was holding back tears. "Thank you, Princess. For helping us but for also helping me realize what I wanna do with my life."

She smiles. "I wanna be a doctor. I want to save lives. I want to help people the way you do."

Val's eyes shoot up. "A doctor? Seriously?"

Kat's wide eyes narrow. "Better than being a maid, isn't it?"

Her sister shuts her mouth. You chuckle. "Well, I hope that goes well for you. Truly. You should go to medical school in Paradis. They're the most advanced in medicine. I can put in a good word for you with the queen."

"Really?!" Her eyes sparkle again. She crushes you with a hug again. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

You look over at Jean for assistance. He taps the girl on the shoulder. "Hate to break this up but we have a train to catch."

She jumps back, hands behind her back. "Sorry." She then bows. "Have a safe trip, your highness. Don't ever forget us."

You smile as you wave goodbye to the two sisters. Jean leads you down the pathway where people hand you bouquet after bouquet as you walk down the street.

"It's must feel good to be this universally loved." Jean says as he takes over by grabbing all the bouquets that no longer fit in your arms.

"Universally?" You wonder. "This is only Ember."

He gives you the side eye. "You forget I travelled to three different kingdoms with you. Each one we went to, people were drawn to you like moths to light. Trust me, you're universally loved."

"Three kingdoms is hardly equal to the universe." You correct him. "But you're right." You pretend to flip your hair over your shoulder. "People just love me for whatever reason."

He laughs. His actual laugh. The loud, goofy one he hated so much. "Wow, you're so humble, your grace."

When you finally make it to the train station, you begin to pile on to the train. Each private section of the train fit about four people so you, Jean, Eren and Mikasa gather into one while Phoenix, Sasha and Armin fit into another.

As you help shove the luggage into all the shelves over head, you see Phoenix walk into the compartment and when he sees you, he turns in the other direction.

"Hey!" You shout after him. You stop what you're doing and chase after him. Someone's bag falls off the shelf but you pretend to not notice.

When you catch up to him, you spin him around to face you. "What, y/n?"

"You're avoiding me." You cross your arms.

He turns to continue to walk down the hall. "Isn't that what you've been doing to me?"

You forgot you had ran away in the midst of him waiting to discuss something personal and private. "Actually, I had to use the bathroom."

He pulls open a door and looks at you right in the face before he closes it behind him. "So do I."

You stand there alone on the other side of the closed door. He was finally starting to give you a a taste of your own medicine and you hated the flavor of it.

You sigh as you take a seat back in your section. "You're right. He definitely knows."

Eren snorts. "Of course he does. Everyone does. We heard you guys all the way from the end of the hall. I can't imagine the poor bastard who had to sha-"

Mikasa elbows him to shut up. You turn and hit Jean on the arm. "Ow!" He yells. "What the hell was that for?"

"I told you we should've waited! Now he's mad at me and he's going to go home and tell his parents that I'm a disgusting whore who is fucking a guy who wasn't even one of the two men I was engaged to." You ramble on.

"Wow." Eren stares. "Well, when you put it like that...."

Mikasa hits him again. "For the love of God, please stop talking."

"Hey, I took your no for an answer." Jean reminds you. "You're the one who wanted me to stay."

You groan loudly and lay down on the seat, covering your face with his jacket. "Wake me up when we get there."

It didn't take long to fall asleep. In fact, the second your head hits the seat, you're out like a light.

As you shift in and out of consciousness, you overhear fragments of conversation between your friends.

"She's been sleeping way too much." Mikasa says with concern. "First I could never get her to sleep and now I can't get her to stop."

You pick up Jean's voice quickly. "That's probably the best way for her to gain her energy back. She needs the rest."

"It's better than her running around burning the skin off people." Eren adds.

Even with your eyes closed, you could feel Mikasa's eyes on you. "She's been calm all week, she's bound to explode at some point. What happens when she gets home and sees something that triggers her to snap?"

"We just need to keep a close eye on her." Jean says. "She'll be fine. Besides," Now his eyes on are you. "We should be glad all she's doing is sleeping. She's grieving. Just in her own strange way."

Mikasa shifts in her seat. "I'm not going to be around to look after her."

"I take that means you two are still leaving?" Jean asks the couple. They don't vocally respond but you knew that they both nodded their heads.

"I'm trusting you to take care of her." Mikasa speaks. "I know my timing isn't the best and she's extremely fragile right now but for the first time ever, I'm doing something for myself. I stayed around this long because of how much I cared for her. I put her before myself."

You can hear the sadness in her voice. "But now that I know she has someone to look after her, I feel better about doing it. I know she's in good hands. I just hope she doesn't hate me for it."

"She won't." Jean answers. "She will understand more than anyone the importance of finally doing something for yourself. She'll miss you like crazy but as long as you visit often, I think she'll be okay."

Mikasa smiles, her eyes gaining a layer of shine. "I hope so."

The rest of the trip felt like a blink of the eye. Mostly because you slept through the entire thing. You couldn't say the same for your travel companions who didn't hide their distaste for the long, exhausting trip.

They were all worn out. Mentally and physically, which you understood completely. You were in the same sinking boat with them.

[play runaway by AURORA here or perish]

Whenever the train nears Eldia, Jean shakes your shoulder lightly. "We're almost there."

You wake up, using your fists to rub at your swollen eyes. The first thing you face is the window beside you.

You could quite literally see the drastic different between Eldia and Ember. It was like the moment you crossed onto your own territory, things began to piece together once again.

The shining, glistening ocean begins to vanish and instead get replaced by tall, sturdy trees that line the skyline.

Everything was beginning to look familiar again. The same place you were born and raised in was growing closer and closer. It stayed in place waiting patiently for you to return after all this time.

You feel a flutter of excitement that soon gets pulled down by the negativity inside you that you tried to repress.

As much as you wanted to be home so desperately, a part of you was also dreading it.

The train moves through Eldia quickly, a little too quickly for your taste, and before you know it, you're right at the train station.

Everyone who was grateful for the trip to be over with grabs their belongings and wastes no time exiting the cabin.

Sasha dashes out, dropping onto the floor dramatically. Armin and Phoenix follow after and step around her. They were probably annoyed of her by now.

Eren and Mikasa are next, leaving you and Jean. He grabs your belongings and graciously takes in the open air and sunshine hitting his face.

Seeing them happy to be home felt contiguous. It almost lifted the gray cloud hovering over you for a second. You take in the familiar air and warm sunlight.

You, however, stay at the door. You stare down at your feet that refused to move. It was like they forgot how.

"What's wrong?" Jean is the first to notice you didn't leap off the train like everyone else did.

"I don't know." You answer dishonestly.

"Aren't you happy to be home?" Phoenix asks.

"I don't know." You repeat. This time, it was truthfully.

Armin steps in front of you, temporarily setting down his bag. "I know it's scary. The last time you were here, the place was a literal disaster but quite a bit of time has passed since then. Things could be much better by now. Trust in your people."

You allow your legs to move as you walk through the doors and begin to walk along side the group. Which each step you take, you gain the courage to go forward as you brace yourself for what is to come.

As much as you wanted to think positively about the situation, you couldn't get those horrid images out of your head. You weren't sure if you'd ever see Eldia the same ever again.

You were nearing the center village near the castle and the more you did, the quicker your heart would beat. Since it was the area most affected by the bombs, you dreaded seeing this place this most.

As you turn the corner, your heart drops down to your feet. Surprisingly, for the all the right reasons.

Above the massive fountain, a banner stretched wide from rooftop to rooftop read "Welcome Home Lost Princess."

People were already gathered around each other. They cheer when they see you, their full glasses lifting in the air.

"What the hell..." You mutter to yourself.

Everything was fine. Practically every affected building was restored. Most of the debris was cleaned up.

You look at your friends to see if they're just as in awe as you are. They all stand there in astonishment. Armin was right. You just needed to trust in your people.

As you look around at the unbelievable imagery before you, something catches your eye. Four statues stand up on a platform with a familiar looking face beside them.

Jean recognizes her at the same moment you do. The once blind girl stood there beside the statues, covered in paint and holding a craving mallet in her hand.

The four statues are what hold your attention the most. Frozen versions of your parents stare right back at you. You stay just as still as they do.

You walk over, the girl who was now able to see due to your help, stares up at you. She smiles as you admire her work.

"You did this?" You ask her, your voice impossibly small. She nods. "It took me a long time and I'm not finished quite yet."

You fight the urge to burst into tears. Your father and mother were immortalized in these statues. They smile at you with kind eyes.

Beside them, Elijah was also craved into stone. It suddenly became so much harder to fight back your tears. They were all life sized models of them so they looked so strangely real.

Next to Elijah, Ambrose stood proudly. The girl somehow managed to capture his charisma and confidence so accurately. You almost felt inferior standing next to the lifeless figure.

Your hand comes up to his cold, marble face. You can feel your eyes blur but you refuse to cry while everyone watches you.

Your eyes turn to Ambrose's right. There was only an empty space. "Where's Kai?" You ask. You figured maybe that's what she meant when she said she wasn't quite finished yet.

"I'm right here." A voice says a few feet behind you.

Now you were just as frozen as the statues of your family. The voice paralyzed you for a spilt moment. You spin around and see the man himself standing before you.

You scream at the top of your lungs when you see your brother standing there. He wasn't a statue but an actual living, breathing human being.

You rush toward him at full speed and attack him with a hug as you continue to scream. He crashes onto the floor with you on top of him.

"It's good to see you too." He groans in pain as you crush his body. You cry and cry as you hold him. You no longer cared if people saw you. You were beyond elated he was okay. You were astronomically grateful that he didn't leave you behind like everyone else did.

"How are you awake?" You sob. "I thought you were in a coma. I thought I needed to come save you."

He coughs a strained laugh. "Never underestimate the power of modern medicine."

You finally pull away from him when you realize he can't breathe. Your cheeks hurt from how badly you were smiling. He was covered in bandages and looked thinner than usual but all that mattered in the moment was that he was alive and breathing.

The comment about modern medicine flies right over your head until you hear another familiar voice beside you. "Especially the kind from Paradis."

You spin your head around like an owl and see the Queen of Paradis standing beside you with a smile on her face. "Historia!" You gleam as you jump up and embrace her. "What are you doing here?!"

Considering she was in much better health than your brother, she hugs you firmly in return. "You think I'd just stand by and do nothing while your world falls apart?" She asks. "Of course I'd send my best doctors over here."

You were surprisingly so relieved to see her. She was the only person in the world who even remotely understood even a piece of what you were going through.

You pull away from her, holding her shoulders as you look at her in disbelief. Sending medical supplies and staff is one thing. But leaving behind your own kingdom and coming this far just to help? She truly did have the grace of a queen.

Behind her, you catch a glimpse of Phoenix's parents, who stayed here the entire time to help in anyway they could. They had their arms around Phoenix so tightly that it looked like his head could pop at any moment.

Near them was Princess Blair who, even though she was no longer engaged to Elijah, still came to Eldia's aid along side her family.

She was sitting by the foundation beside Princess Amara who came straight to Eldia when she heard Kai was in a coma and has been here since.

"There's so many people here." You mutter to yourself.

Queen Historia overhears your quiet words. "All the boarding kingdoms came to Eldia's aide once they heard the news."

That would explain how they managed to clean up the disastrous mess so quickly. There were people from all over the world here. You hadn't realized how many allies your parents had accrued over the years.

"Jean!" You hear a voice yell. You figure it's his mother, who must've been worried sick and praying every night for his safe return. However, the voice was much more manly.

Your next guess is that it's Kai, relieved to see his best friend made it out, but he still stands beside you.

The voice was not his mother's or your brother's but instead was his brother's. Julian runs up to Jean as he shouts his name and collides into him with a hug. "I'm glad to see you're safe, man! People were saying all kinds of crazy stuff."

Jean looks at you as Julian clings onto him. His eyes scream at you to help him. You just smile and watch as his brother babbles on and on to him.

"Um," Kai doesn't hide him blunt confusion. "Who the hell is that? Why does he look like an off-brand Jean?"

"His brother." You answer as you watch them.

He spits his drink out. "Brother?! Jean doesn't have siblings."

You turn to your brother. "He does. Multiple actually. We ran into his dad when we were gone. He had several kids after he left Jean and his mom."

"Jesus." Kai mumbles as he watches the two boys who looked so oddly similar for only having one parent in common.

"Tell me about it." You chuckle.

He turns at a 90 degree to face you. "Speaking of brothers," He begins to look around. "Where is ours?"

Suddenly, your world stops. It just now hits you that nobody other than the group you arrived with knows Ambrose is dead. In fact, you don't even notice anyone looking for him.

The welcome banner only said your name. Everyone came to you one by one to tell you how grateful they were you were safe and sound. Yet, no one mentions Ambrose even though he was just as "lost" as you were.

No one cared. No one even noticed. They were all too consumed by your returning presence to even have him cross their minds. He was overshadowed once again, even in the afterlife.

It's no wonder he went as mad as he did.

Kai must've put the pieces together from your silence and the dwelling devastation in your eyes. "Oh.. He didn't make it, did he?"

Your chest begins to rise and fall at a much quicker pace. Your hands clench together as they grow clammy.

"Are you okay?" He steps in front of you, shielding you from all the people were slowly starting to crowd around. The more they do, the more claustrophobic you begin to feel.

"I can't breathe." Your hand comes up to your chest.

Even as fragile and wounded as he was, he still protected you from anyone who got close. "What do you mean?"

"I..." You look around as you begin to fan yourself. Even in the middle of the winter, you still felt hot. "I need fresh air."

He blinks slowly. "You're outside."

"No!" You shout as you run out of patience. "I need vacant air. I need quiet. I-"

"Go." He stops you. "I'll stall everyone for you."

"Really?"

He nods. "Do what you have to do."

"Thanks." You say as you begin to walk away. Before you do, you run back toward him and hug him one more time. "I'm so happy you're alive."

He chuckles. "Me too."

When you release him, you dart through the crowd as discreetly as possible and manage to make it to the castle without being seen.

Considering mostly everyone was outside celebrating and greeting the rescue group with open arms, the castle itself was erringly lonesome.

You weren't sure where to go first. There was always your room but if anyone wanted to come find you, that's obviously the first place they would looked.

You pinch at the bottom of your dress as you rush up the stairs to avoid tripping on the fabric. You try to be as quiet as possible so you don't attract any attention to yourself.

When you're in the top floor, you lock eyes with Levi who stood guard in front of your parent's room. "Glad you've made it back."

You hold onto the rail and stare at the door behind him. "Just barely." As much as you didn't want to go inside there, it was the best place to hide. No one would expect you to be hiding in the place your parents were murdered in.

You move closer to the door and he steps in front of it. You frown. "I need to go in there."

He doesn't move. "I can't allow that."

"Excuse me?" You fail at hiding your irritation.

His face stays as stiff as ever. "I'm under strict instruction to not let you inside this room."

You scoff. "Under whose order?"

"The king's." He answers.

You laugh. "I'm not scared of Malakai." You attempt to reach for the doorknob but he stands in front of it again, blocking your effort.

He takes a breath before he speaks. "Princess, I don't think it's a very good idea for you to go in there. The medical team managed to clean all the blood but the furniture and everything... it's still..."

"I don't care!" You fight. "I didn't get to mourn them! I didn't get to attend the funeral of my own family because I was kidnapped. I haven't made peace yet!"

As emotionless as Levi normally was, you could see the pain in his eyes. He had worked along side your parents for almost a decade. It had to have been hitting him hard too. "Your highness, you're not in the right state of mind to put yourself under such stress."

You cross your arms. "Are you disobeying a direct order, lieutenant?"

He sighs and steps out of the way. "Suit yourself."

He unlocks the door and before he closes it behind you, he says, "I'll be out here in case you need anything."

The door closes and you're standing alone in the bone chilling room. Levi was right. The room was still a mess.

There was no sight of blood or any other bodily fluids but that didn't mean the evidence of the fight was not apparent.

It was obvious they fought back. There were signs everywhere of struggle everywhere you looked. He was right, it may have been too soon for you to be in here. Your mind was punishing you by replaying what went on in your head over and over.

The room was usually this empty. Your parents were always up and about working so the feeling was familiar but the smell and energy was different.

The smell of your mother's perfume had vanished and instead was replaced with the smell of decay and cleaning supplies.

The room was also normally always spotless due to her unbearable OCD. She would have a heart attack if she saw the disaster before you.

It was almost humorous how for the longest, you wanted so badly to be away from them and now, all you wanted was for them to be here beside you.

You wanted to hear your mother's nagging. You wanted to hear your father's disciplinary warnings. At the time you found it all annoying. You hated how they made you feel like a child regardless of how old you had grown. Now you'd do anything to be a kid again with no worries in the world.

Even though you were alone and away from the rambunctious crowd, the silence was almost too much. It wasn't helping at all.

You crawl onto their bed and slip underneath the covers. You lay right in the center just like you would when you'd have nightmares as a child.

Your mother would stroke your head in attempt to make you fall back asleep as you focus on the sound of your father's faint snoring. It was so comforting at the time.

The bed felt much smaller now. At the time, you had thought it was ginormous even with the both of them on it.

You stare up at the roof as you sigh. "I wish I never grew up." You turn your face to her side of the bed. "You were right. The world is scary and cruel."

You try to picture her saying, "I told you so!" In the same annoying tone she always said it in. But for whatever reason, regardless of the fact she has said it several times since you've been born, you can't hear her voice. It was almost like you've forgotten how she sounded like.

You bring the silk covers over your head to block out the light. You shut your eyes to make it even darker. You curl into the fetal position as try to feel the warmth of both their bodies on each side of you.

But all you feel is cold.

"I miss you guys so much." A single tear falls from your eye and slides past your nose and onto the sheets under your cheek. "Please come back."

Your begging only makes you more sad. More and more tears begin to soak the sheets beneath you. Your nails dig into the pillow beside you as you cry into it.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you." You sob. "I'm sorry I couldn't save Elijah or Ambrose. I'm sorry I'm so fucking useless."

You squeeze the pillow harder, your nails ripping into the seems. "But please... please come back. I'll be better. I'll listen."

You cry so much that it almost feels like you might drown underneath these covers. You were already having trouble breathing and this only made it worse.

You remove your shield and sit up in the bed as you wipe away your own tears. As your eyes unblur, you catch a glimpse of something white sticking out from underneath the pillow on your mother's side.

You pinch the corner of the envelope and pull it toward you. A letter with her signature wax stamp comes out from its hiding spot. When you flip it over, you see it is addressed to you with the location of Phoenix's castle underneath it.

You don't waste a single second tearing the envelope open. When you do, a long, handwritten letter greets in from the inside.

You immediately recognize her perfect cursive handwriting. You stop yourself for a moment and question if you actually want to read the letter. You weren't sure if you could handle it mentally. The last thing you need right now was to spiral into the darkness once again.

But then again, this is the last words your mother had to you. You could wait and read it at a better time but you weren't sure when you'd get another opportunity to be alone again.

Dear yn,
By the time you're reading this, you'll be a married woman and hopefully thriving in gorgeous Cicily.

You snort. Little does she know.

I'm sure you're still angry with me. I remember being quite angry with my mother for a while as well. It's a big change and it's scary.

Since the moment you were born, I always knew you were special. You had a gift no one else in the world had. That terrified me.

I had birthed three boys no problem. I had told myself that birthing a girl shouldn't be any different. For nine months, my pregnancy with you was as normal as my pregnancy with your brothers was. Until we both got sick that is.

I remember being so scared that day. The doctor told me there was a high possibility neither you or I would make it out alive. Your father begged the doctor to atleast try to save me but I refused. I did not want to live without you. If you were going to die, I wanted to die with you.

That's when Queen Historia showed up and well, I'm sure you know the story well by now. It was a miracle. A blessing. I got to live and so did my beautiful baby girl.

When I accepted the flower, I had no idea what dangers came along with it. All I cared about was keeping you alive. That's all that mattered.

Afterwards, they gave me that dreadful book and forced me to read it. It took me several weeks to do so. I couldn't keep down my food. I couldn't sleep. I realized I had absolutely no idea what I truly got myself into.

The horrible stories I heard of the men and women before you who had that gift. It made me physically sick to my stomach to imagine you going through the same struggles. I had began to feel like it was not a blessing but a curse instead.

Because I had already almost lost you once, I was terrified of it happening again. I did everything possible to keep you safe. Even if that meant keeping you far away from everyone else.

You, of course, were untamable. No matter how guarded or protected I tried to make you, you always managed to find a way to get away. That scared me too.

I just wanted to keep you safe. The thought of anyone hurting you drove me mad. I couldn't bear it. I would rather have you despise me than end up dead.

Even then, I hope you don't hate me. I hope you don't hate your father either who is hovering over my shoulder right now as I write this.

We love you. More than you could ever possibly wrap your head around. I'm so painfully sorry if it never seemed that way.

I'm so immensely proud of you. We both are. You have transformed into such an incredible young woman, through and through. You have the heart of a lion and the soul of an angel.

I have no doubt in my mind you'll make the most captivating queen one day. You'll surpass me and everyone else without effort.

My beautiful, sweet girl. You are much too good for this earth and I hope it evolves just to suit you better. The world is yours.

Don't forget to visit us sometimes. You're always welcome back home. I hope to see you soon, angel. Until then, I hope you're doing well and that Phoenix is showing you the life we wish we could've.

With much inexplicable love,
Mom and Dad.

You breathe out a sob as you hold the letter to your chest and shut your eyes. She had written this and planned to send it to you after you got married and shipped away to Cicily. She kept it under her pillow every night since then.

Once the dam broke, it was impossible to hold back. You cried and cried for what felt like hours. It was the first time you truly allowed yourself to really break down. It felt so good to let it all out. To truly grieve.

It destroyed you that she had wrote that note under the impression that she had succeeded in protecting you all these years. She had no idea that she was soon to be murdered along side her husband and that you'd be kidnapped and tortured like she so desperately dreaded all these years that you would be.

Maybe it was better that way. It meant she died believing she had did a good job. She didn't survive long enough to see you go through what you did. It would've killed her either way.

The more you cried, the more the already suffocating room began to close in on you. Even after you opened the windows, it wasn't good enough. You still felt like you were reaching out for air to breathe.

There was only one other place you knew no one would find you. It was also the one place where you'd get all the open air you could possibly need.

The one place where you could feel like a child once again.

You hold on tightly to the letter and exit out the room. Levi calls out to you but you just continue to walk away from him without ever saying anything in return.

You walk in a straight line to your old childhood bedroom. It was still exactly the way it looked the last time you were in here.

You walk over to the window and begin to crawl up onto the roof of the castle, careful not to slip and fall to your death.

The air was much stronger all the way up here. Even more reason to keep your balance. Once you manage to make it up there safely, you take a seat and allow the cold air to hit your face.

It was peaceful up here. You were too high up to hear any of the noise or conversation from down below. You could see their tiny bodies move all over the place but everything was luckily silent.

As you look below, you realize how high up you are. You couldn't believe that at such a young age, you'd sneak up here just to get away from everyone. To escape the noise. To escape the responsibility.

Some things never quite change, do they?

"I knew I would find you here." Kai says from behind you. You turn to see him already crawling out from the window and stepping onto the roof. "Be careful, I can't afford to lose another family member." You say.

He laughs as he sits beside you. He doesn't say anything and just basks in the silent sunlight. He doesn't even question the letter he very clearly saw you attempt to hide when you saw him. You were grateful for that.

Because he wasn't saying anything, your mind ran wild with thoughts. The words on that paper repeated again and again, repeatedly banging on the inside your head.

"Kai." You break the silence. "I need to tell you something."

He stops you. "Whatever you did over there... you don't need to explain it to me. I wouldn't want to talk about it either."

"I do want to talk about it." You turn your body to face him. "I need to talk about it. I can't hold this on my chest anymore."

He stares at you, waiting patiently for you to get on with it. You could feel your heart pick up speed. "Has anyone told you who the second traitor was?"

"No." He answers. "No one wants to say. They questioned Jean, Eren, Mikasa, Armin and even Phoenix. None of them will answer. They just say to ask you."

You feel your body sink into the roof. You appreciated the fact that they were giving you the chance to tell Kai yourself before everyone else found out.

"It..." Your mouth closes shut, your body running from the truth. "It was Ambrose."

His eyebrows pinch together and he looks confused for a moment. But a few seconds later, he doesn't look surprised anymore. "Um.." He turns away.

"Yeah." You breathe out. "I've known for weeks now and I still haven't fully processed it either."

His face was still turned away from yours. "Why did he do it?" He then paused. "I'm afraid I already know why. I just don't want to admit it."

"It's exactly what you think." You hug your knees. "He wanted to be the best of the best like always. He wanted to be king and not just any ordinary one either. He wanted to be well known. He wanted fame and admiration from not just his own kingdom but from the whole world."

He sighs. "The saddest part about all of this is not only did he fail miserably but I can't even make fun of him for it because he's dead."

You squeeze your legs together until you form a ball. He leans closer. "Okay, you gotta admit that was a little funny, right?"

You never laugh or smile. "Ambrose being the traitor isn't what I really wanted to tell you."

His face sinks. "It gets worse?"

"Unfortunately." Your voice cracks.

"Well," He clears his throat. "My life is already messed up. What's more bad news gonna do?"

You look away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. "I'm the one who killed Ambrose."

It was dreadful seeing the way his face changed in almost slow motion. His comedic expression twisted into something you wanted to run away from. "Why? Why would they let you do that?"

"Let me?" You repeat back. "I'm not a pet. I am 100% responsible for all of it on my own accord."

"But no one stopped you!" He stands up, anger fueling him. "You killed our brother. What is wrong with you? I know he was the traitor but you could've just brought him home so he could've been punished with justice."

"They would've killed him anyway!" You shout back.

"Atleast then you wouldn't have to be the one who did it!" He yells.

"He killed Elijah!" You finally snap.

He stands stuck, the sentence repeating again and again in mind to ensure he heard it correctly. He falls back down to his spot, his body giving out. You worry he might even fall right off the roof.

He does the same seating position you did previously for comfort, his hands cover his face. "This family is so fucked up. I have to be adopted. Or actually, maybe it's you and Ambrose who are adopted."

The simple comment felt like a slap to the face. "Don't do that. Don't make me feel like that. I had to do it."

"No, you didn't." He still argues.

"No one is allowed to hurt us but us!" You plead.

He scoffs as he looks at you in shock and laughs. "God, you sound exactly like him. Are you insane? He killed Elijah and you think it was because of some rule we made up as kids?"

He had a way of making something so sacred feel so stupid. "I already feel like shit. You don't need to pile it on." You tell him.

"You were supposed to be the good one!" He cries out. "Elijah is the smart one, Ambrose is the strong one, I'm the funny one and you're the good one! You're the one everyone loves. You're the one with the good heart and compassionate soul. That's how it's always been! That's how it's supposed to be!"

He looks at you like he can't recognize you anymore, his head slowly shaking. "My baby sister is a murderer."

You look right back at him. "I'm not a baby."

"I don't know what you are anymore." He says turning away to look at his shoes.

You stand up from your spot. "Don't be such a drama king."

He looks up at you. "You can't even take seriously either." He stands up to be at eye level with you. "You killed someone! You killed our brother!"

"He killed our brother first!" You try to defend.

"That doesn't make it okay!" He screams. For the first time ever, he looked much like your father. A king present and in command at all times.

"What are you going to do?" You step forward, the image of your deceased father triggering you. "Execute me? Hang me? You're a king now, right? You have to punish me for my crime."

He tries keep his serious, cold demeanor. "Maybe I should."

"Why wait?" You push him. "Let's get it over with right now." You point to the edge. "Push me off this roof to my death. I'll die the way Ambrose did. It will be poetic karmic justice."

He stands in place. "Don't. Push me."

"I'm not scared of you." You stand your ground too. "If you're going to threaten me, atleast follow through with it."

You push him again. You can see the anger starting to appear in his eyes. "I'm serious. Stop it."

"Kill me!" You say. "Bring me to justice! That's your thing now, right? The same person who taught me how to lie and steal?"

He shakes his head. "I've always thought murder was wrong and you know that. Don't make it seem like it's something I just woke up and decided one day."

"So kill me!" You shout. "If it were anyone else who killed ambrose, you'd sentence them to death! No hesitation! Why are you sparing me? A good king does not show favoritism. He treats everyone equally."

You shove him again. "Come on. Kill me! Push me!"

"Stop." He says, tears building in his eyes. Although Kai himself wasn't much for showing emotion, he was actually very empathetic. He could always tell what people were feeling. He could feel it. Just like he can feel your pain now.

"Kill me!" You punch his chest with effort. He takes a step back, carefully looking down below so he doesn't fall. "Kill me!!"

You just continue to hit him, all your pinned up rage and pain coming out of you through the punches as if he were a punching bag. "Kill me! Kill me! I deserve it! Please," You start to cry. "Kill me."

He takes your hits one after the other and allows you to do so. The second he sees you begin to cry, he pulls you into his arms and hugs you.

The comfort of his arms causes you to bawl like a baby all over again. He doesn't say a word and just holds you as you let it out.

When you're done, he helps you sit back down again. You run your hand under your nose and clear slime follows behind. "You're right about it all."

"I did something terrible." You continue to explain. "It almost cost me my life too. I'm not acting like myself. I'm supposed to the good one.I never saw myself ever hurting anyone before any of this. Everything that has happened just took me to a really dark place."

You sniffle. "Whatever it is, Ambrose had the same thing. This almost spilt, evil personality. He would have this... scary look in his eyes where I couldn't recognize him anymore."

The entire situation replays in your head on an endless loop. You couldn't get it to stop even if you wanted to. "For a moment back there, everyone said the same thing about me. I let the dark thoughts win like he did."

You look down at your feet, ashamed to look anywhere else. "I hurt Jean. I hurt Phoenix. I hurt Mikasa. I... hurt Ambrose. I should've lost my powers for good. And if i'm being honest, I think I would've been happier if I did."

You hold your hands out in front of you, palms up. "I hurt people just with my emotions. That's why mom was always more strict with me about hiding my feelings. I always thought it was because I was a woman but now I understand her. I understand why they did what they did."

Just thinking about your parents made your throat close up. "It's painful to watch all their biggest fears come true even thought they did everything possible to prevent it. I understand them now."

Your open hands close. "I just wish they were here so I could tell them that."

"I don't think it's really hit me yet." Kai admits. "When I woke up from the coma, the first thing they told me was that mom and dad were dead. Right after they said Elijah was too. I asked about you and Ambrose and they said you were missing but that they sent people after you both."

He inhales. "I didn't cry. I didn't freak out. I stayed silent for a few seconds and then asked what I needed to do. The second they cleared me to leave the hospital, I got to work. I started helping in every way I could. It kept me busy so I didn't have to really fully process what happened."

He exhales deeply. "Until now."

"Yeah." You look in his direction. "I'm sorry for punching you."

"I deserved it." He surprisingly says. "I should've
been more understanding and listened to you. I don't know what you went through over there."

You turn away as all the dreaded memories flood back in. "I'm not your sweet, baby sister anymore. I think that part of me died back in Ember. Just like you're no longer a lazy prince who can slack off because he's third in line for the throne."

"You're king now." You look out into the distance. From where you sat, you could see all of Eldia. "This is all yours."

"Actually..." He begins. You crane your neck to look back at him. "I was thinking it could be yours instead." He finishes."

"What are you talking about?" You ask.

He twists his body to be facing you. "Look, I love helping these people and I'll admit, it took no hesitation to take charge when I knew I needed to but let's be honest, if anyone deserves this spot, it's you."

"You can't do that." You remind him. "You're the oldest born now. It goes to you by default."

He scoffs. "I'm the king. I can do whatever I want and I want to give it to you."

You turn your body now to be face to face. "But you're doing such an amazing job!" You point down to everything. "You contacted kingdoms we have alliance with and got help and resources, you set up first aid tents all over and you even offered up shelter to those who lost their homes."

Kai laughs. "Well, to be honest that was already done before I woke up from the coma. You have Phoenix's parents to thank about that."

"Well..." You get stuck. "You offered to pay to fix their homes. I know for a fact you did that."

His sarcasm reaching its peak. "Wow, I offered up my dead parents' money. So very righteous of me."

It was almost sad how he didn't seem to know his worth. He was practically bowing out of this because he was scared he wouldn't be enough. Scared he couldn't fill in the shoes that were given to him so abruptly.

"Look, I know you want this so don't act like you don't." He calls you out. "You've dreamt about being queen of Eldia your whole life. Yeah, it's pretty fucked up how it managed to happen but we're here now so might as well make good with what we got."

He was actually being serious. "Won't people be angry?" You ask. "I mean, a princess doesn't ever reign alone especially if her older brothers are still alive. A single queen would drive so many people insane."

He shrugs. "I think we can admit our family is far from normal now. What's one more thing to add onto the list? The world already thinks we're fucked up."

"Besides," He points over at a blonde woman in a gorgeous gown and a shining crown on her head who was talking to some children. "Queen Historia did it."

"I guess you're right." You say as you watch the queen who rules one of the most influential kingdoms in the world, all on her own. You then look back at him. "Are you sure you don't want it?"

He shakes his head. "I don't do responsibility. I don't even know how I've been managing to run an entire kingdom. If it wasn't for Phoenix's parents, I'd be struggling a lot more."

"Don't doubt yourself." You stop him. "You have always had all the best qualities of a king. You just were always lazy to put the effort into showing everyone that."

"And now that I've proved it," He sings. "I'm ready to pass the baton." He pretends to hand you a metaphorical baton.

You stare at it as if it were actually there. "I'm scared."

He looks down at the invisible baton and back up at you. "Why? It isn't real."

You smack his hand away. "Not of that, you moron. I meant of being queen! I know it sounds stupid because I wanted it for so long but now that it's here within my reach, I'm terrified."

"What is there to be scared of?" Kai questions.

"I don't know." You admit. "Disappointing everyone? Mom and Dad did such a perfect job at running Eldia. The kingdom was at their peak during their reign and not to mention I gotta follow behind Elijah, who everyone absolutely adored as the future king."

He laughs. "You're kidding right? People love you. They flock to you. They always have. Even now that you've "changed" people still follow you like magnets. Add a sad backstory and a heroic up come and you're golden. You'll go from the people's princess to the people's queen."

"I thought I was a murderer." You jog his memory.

He leans back, allowing the air to hit his face and blow through his curls. "If you're queen, it means you killed Ambrose because he committed a murder. Technically it isn't wrong. you would've had to sentence him to death either way."

You cackle. "This family really is fucked up."

He chuckles at himself as he realizes what he really just said. "Mom and dad are probably rolling in their graves right now."

"Oh my god," You cover your mouth. "I hear mom screaming at us all the way from up here and dad telling us this isn't how he raised us to be."

He adds on. "Or paid for us to be raised to be."
or paid for us to be raised to be

You both burst into wild laughter. The two of you haven't laughed this hard together in what felt like forever. You didn't think it'd ever happen again. Who would've thought your parent's death would be the cause to bring you two together again.

The laughing eventually dies down. You sigh and you wipe your tears. Kai coughs his last laugh out before he lays down on the roof and stares up at the clouds in silence.

You pull the letter out from under your butt. "I found this letter in their room. It's addressed to me. Mom was going to send it after I left to Cicily with Phoenix."

He keeps his rested position, head facing the sky above. "What does it say?"

"Basically saying I had to learn the hard way." You stare at the letter in your hands. "I hate how she's always right, even in the afterlife."

He sits back up. "Well, you can prove her wrong you know? You don't have to go to Cicily with Phoenix. You can stay here and be queen. Do something she didn't think you could do."

You roll your eyes. "You just want me to have all the work now."

"True." He shrugs as he jokes. "But it's not only that, I genuinely from the bottom of my heart think this kingdom could use someone like you. I always have I always will."

He smiles as you meet his eyes. His eyes then shift to look behind you as if he was looking at someone else. "One more thing," He stands up and dusts his pants off. "If you're queen, no one can tell you who you can't marry."

He pats the top of your head as he passes by you. "Just something to keep in mind."

You turn around to see what caught his eye enough to make him leave and you see Jean's head poking out the window. "Am I interrupting?"

"Nope." Kai responds. "Perfect timing actually."

Before he crawls back through the window, he looks at you one last time. "Just think about it, alright? I don't need an answer right now."

Jean watches as he disappears into the room and out of sight. "What was that about?" He asks as he begins to place one leg out the window and steps onto the roof.

"You'll never guess." You say as you turn around to face the view again.

He carefully watches his step as he makes his way over to you and takes a seat beside you. "Is it about you being queen?"

You almost snap your neck. "How do you possibly know about that already? He literally just asked me a few seconds ago."

Jean laughs as raises his knee to rest his arm on. "He asked me for my thoughts earlier."

"And?"

"I think it's an amazing idea." He answers without hesitation.

You feel your eyebrows raise. "Seriously?"

"Hell yeah!" He shouts enthusiastically. "You'd be the first lone standing woman to rule over Eldia. You'd be making history up there with Historia and no offense, if I had to choose between you or Kai to rule over us, I'm definitely picking you."

You come to your brother's defense. "Hey, Kai is actually doing pretty well so far."

"You noticed that too?" He acknowledges. "I've never seen him work this hard at anything before. I guess he really did hit his head really hard."

"Who would've thought a coma was the solution for laziness?" You tease.

He does the same. "What's a faster way to get burnt out on sleeping than the fear of sleeping forever?"

You both laugh at the situation that wasn't that funny at all but it was the healthiest way to cope with any of it at the moment.

"But seriously," Jean says as he controls his laughter. "I really think you should do it."

You trail off. "I don't know..."

He scoots closer to you. "I'm surprised. I would've thought you were going to say yes in a heartbeat."

"If someone were to ask me months ago, I would've said yes without even thinking about it but now, I just... it feels strange taking their spot." You reply.

You mess with the material plastered onto the roof. "It feels strange even being here. My home doesn't feel like a home. I feel out of place. How can I rule a kingdom that feels so foreign to me now?"

"You were going to do it in Cicily." He recalls.

"Not alone." You respond.

"Who says you gotta do it alone?" Jean asks. "We'll be here by your side to help you."

You don't respond. He takes your turn to speak. "What's really stopping you?"

"If I'm queen of Eldia," You begin to explain. "My duties and responsibilities stay here. I am to always stay here and stand beside my kingdom. I won't be able to travel and see the world like i wanted to. I wont be able to go and fix everything."

"You can always have everyone come here." He attempts to make a solution to your issue. "People will travel from all over the world to come to Eldia to see you. It'll be amazing for business and the economy. It'll become a tourist attraction like Marley."

No matter how many solutions he threw your way, however, you seemed to continue to find flaws in your plan. "Then I'll be too focused on other people and not my own people. I'll never have time for them. I'd be a great healer but a terrible leader."

Another solution. "Okay, what if you still did travel here and there and while you're gone, Kai watches over Eldia for you."

You snicker. "It doesn't work like that."

"Why not?" He questions. "You're the queen. You're the one who decides how things work. No one can tell you what to do anymore."

"There's still rules and regulations we have to follow." You remind him.

"Since when do you ever follow the rules?" Jean asks.

You laugh as you recall all the past things you knowingly disregarded the rules or bent them to your advantage. "I guess you're right. Maybe I'm just making excuses because deep down I'm terrified of not being good enough."

A smirk creeps onto his face. "Also, if you're queen, you can make me head of the royal guard."

"Ahhh, so that's why you want me to be queen so badly." You realize. "So I show favoritism to you and move you up in rank."

He grins. "I mean, it's the least you can do considering I saved your life and all."

You point at him. "Hey, I saved your life first! We're even now."

As the sentence leaves your mouth, you realize the impact of your words. It's true that the two of you truly died and came back to life with the help of the other.

You both were given a second chance at life. You should be using it to your advantage and taking the risk of accomplishing everything you couldn't do in your past life.

Suddenly, Queen Isla's voice echos in your head. "Sometimes people are born into this world for the specific purpose of changing it."

How did you expect to make any impact in the world if you were constantly worried about what would go wrong? Your younger self, the one who thrived before the trauma, would've taken the opportunity and made the best of it.

You owed it to her. The little girl trapped in that room, staring out window for hours on end wondering why she was treated differently than everyone else.

One by one, your dreams from back then were coming true. You left the castle, you saw the lanterns and you even bagged your childhood crush. You even went out and healed the one place that needed it the most.

There was only one dream left and here it was being handed to you. All you had to do was reach out and take it.

"Why settle for head of the royal guard when you can do one better?" You ask Jean.

He frowns. "What do you mean?"

"You'll see." You say as you stand up. You hold out your hand for him to take. "Come on."

He looks up at you from where he sits. "Where are we going?"

"To find Kai."

"And do what?"

You smile. "Become the queen of Eldia. Someone has to do it, right?"

He smiles even bigger right back at you. "And who better than you."