You fall right off your horse and come crashing down into the mud for the fifth time in a row. Kai passes by you on his horse, laughing his ass off while you shoot him the finger.

Elijah was off in the distance, his horse effortlessly hopping over every hurdle like it was nothing. Kai was following right behind.

Ambrose hops off his horse and tries his best not to laugh at you who was coated in mud from the several failed attempts of trying to keep up with your brothers. "Don't you dare laugh." You warn him.

He laughs anyway and takes a seat beside you. He lets out an exasperated sigh when he does. "I can't keep up with them."

"It's so annoying how they're always so perfect at everything." You agree as you wipe mud off your forehead.

"Tell me about it." Ambrose replies. "Elijah came out the womb perfect at everything and Kai can do anything after he sees someone do it one time."

You bring your knees to your chest so you can hold your head up. "Then there's us."

Ambrose was a lot smaller back then. He hadn't hit puberty yet so his growth spurt hadn't kicked in. Elijah succeeded all of them in height and strength at this time.

He wasn't coated in as much mud as you were, but he had stains here and there from falling too.

"Do you ever feel useless?" He asks. "I mean, in comparison to them."

You sigh. "All the time. Elijah is the golden child so he's naturally our parent's favorite and Kai is the funny one who everyone else loves."

"And then there's us." Ambrose says.

"And then there's us." You repeat. "Just filling up the space in between. No one's favorite anything. We just... exist."

He scoffs. "You at least can do that weird shit with your hands. I got nothing."

Ambrose watches them intently as they gallop around the open field, never falling, never messing up. "One day, I'm going to get strong. So strong that I can beat those two in anything."

You look at him, his shiny curls were much bouncier at 14. He kept looking forward, his nails picking at the skin on his hands. "I will practice every damn day until I'm better than them. Better than anyone."

"Easy for you to say." You say. "You're a man so you have the freedom to come out here and waste your day practicing to be the best. As a woman, I don't have that luxury. I'm only allowed outside for a certain amount of time."

He finally looks your way. "That sucks."

You smack his arm playfully and he laughs. When he stops, you both watch your brothers quietly.

Around this time, Jean had just left and your brothers were in disarray without their fourth member.

You found a way to bond with Elijah over literature and art. Kai was easy to bond with as long as you could take a joke. All there was left was Ambrose and he was the biggest challenge. You could never find anything to bond over.

Until now.

"I know this sounds messed up," You begin. "But I don't want you to get strong. If you practice everyday, you'll eventually leave me behind too."

"I won't." He stands back up again, holding his hand out for you to use. "No matter how big I get, I'll never leave you behind. Even if I'm on top of the world, I'll always make sure you're up there with me."

You narrow your eyes and furrow your brows, not fully convinced. "You promise?"

"As long as you promise to always get back up every time you fall." He answers.

You reach your hand out toward his, the second his skin touches yours, you realize this ain't real. Your brain was showing you a memory that you always kept dear to you.

You weren't back home and 12 years old. Your brother Elijah wasn't alive. Kai wasn't healthy and moving. And Ambrose...

You forced your eyes shut as the tunnel begins to collapse around you. But even after you pry them apart, all you see is pitch black.

You hear the sound of muffled yelling from a few feet away but none of it is transcribable. The sound of someone coughing beside you grabs your attention right after.

You couldn't see her but after you hear her voice, you realize it's Mikasa. "Are you okay?"

You don't answer.

The yelling doesn't cease. You can hear Mikasa moving around in the dark as she tries to search for you. "I can hear you breathing." She warns.

You still say nothing. You didn't want to speak to her at all, which was usually rare. Odd considering you have been wanting to see her ever since you found out she wasn't the traitor to apologize. Now the last thing on your mind was apologizing to her.

Suddenly, Phoenix's voice echos through the dark tunnel. "You girls okay in there?"

As Mikasa blindly walks around with her arms out, following the sound of the voices, she steps right on your foot and you yelp in pain, exposing your hiding spot. She sighs. "We're fine."

Now Eren's voice. "Are you guys hurt at all?"

"I have a few scratches but otherwise I'm fine." Mikasa says. "As for yn..." She waits for you to answer since she couldn't see what was wrong for herself.

You don't answer.

"As for yn what?" Jean and Phoenix say at the very same moment.

She looks down at where you sit. "Are you hurt or not?"

Nothing.

She kicks the same leg she stepped on earlier by accident, except this time it wasn't one. You scream as you hunch over and reach for the throbbing area.

"Hello!" He shouts. "Is she okay?"

"I can't tell!" Mikasa snaps back. "It's pitch black in here! She said there's something wrong with her leg."

"I didn't say that!" You shout.

There's more muttering behind the wall which then proceeds to be followed by the sound of rock being teared apart piece by piece.

Mikasa squats down next to you as her eyes try their best to adjust to the small beams of light that shoot into the collapsed tunnel. "Let me see."

"No!" You move your leg away from her, the pain shooting up your spine. Feeling actual agony for the first time definitely put your body into shock. It felt almost impossible to make any movement.

She groans. "Just let me help you!"

"Why would I let you touch me after you just said all those awful things about me?" You remind her.

She scoffs, more and more of her face becoming visible as they break the wall apart. "You've been an asshole to me since the moment you saw me! You've been cold and distant. You act like you don't even know me." She defends.

"That's because I don't know you!" You say instantly. "I don't know anything about you apparently. You're from Ember when you told me you were from Eldia. You supposedly hate writing but I found a bunch of ink and paper in your desk."

"I can explain all of that." She says in return.

You cross your arms. "Go on then."

She holds back for a moment. You even contemplate that she was coming up with a lie in her head. You almost call her out on it until she finally speaks. Then it becomes abundantly clear why she was hesitant to say the words in the first place.

"You're right." She says to your surprise. "I did lie. I did say I was from Eldia when I wasn't. I own up to that. I did say I hate writing but that wasn't a lie. I do hate it."

"So how do you explain all the pen and paper?" You question.

She inhales. "Eren and I are moving. To Marley to be exact. I was planning on writing to you. I do hate writing but I wanted to keep in touch with you so I forced myself to get out of my comfort zone."

You felt like she punched you in the chest. "You're leaving?"

"Yes."

"With Eren?"

"Yes."

You laugh.

"What's so funny?" She asks.

You could feel the light hit your side profile. "I just think it's funny how you're so willing to follow Eren wherever he goes, but when I wanted you to come with me to Cicily, you didn't want to."

She stands back up on her feet. "That's because Eren and I are going to start a life together. If I followed you, I would just be your sidekick forever while you lived your life."

She doesn't even give you the chance to say anything back. "But you don't see that because you're too obsessed and consumed by your own life that you don't see how it affects everyone else."

You wanted to scream. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"You don't consider anyone else's feelings!" She yells. "You have two people out there who are madly in love with you and would do anything for you and yet you continue to string both of them along!"

Your lips barely part to defend yourself but she speaks too quickly. She must've had all of this already locked and loaded. "You tell Jean you love him but still agree to marry Phoenix. Then, you run away to be with Jean but hug Phoenix right in his face after he came all this way to rescue you."

"Is that what this is about?" You realize. "You're upset I hugged Phoenix and not Jean? Or this really about how I didn't hug you?"

She throws her arms out. "You know exactly what this is about! All this talk about this stupid destiny you have, and this current obsession you have with getting revenge on Marco. It's all you can think about."

You gesture for her to look around. "Do you think I'm making all this up? You think I wrote all those books about me? Or that I caused an earthquake that almost killed my friends? Or that I, for the first time in my entire life, am in alarming pain? Why would I do that?"

Now it's you who doesn't allow her to cut you off. "I know it's hard to believe but the universe, God, the earth, whatever the hell you want to call it, wants me here. The earthquake, my leg. It's trying to stop me from leaving."

She scoffs with a laugh. She still wasn't falling for it. In her defense, it was truly hard to believe. "You're crazy. You're actually going crazy. Do you not hear yourself?"

"I thought you were my friend!" You shout. "But all you've ever done is judge me and make me feel like I'm some self-absorbed lunatic!"

"That's because that's what you are!" She screams loudly. "You didn't even say thank you or even appreciate the fact that everyone here dropped everything and risked our lives coming here for YOU!"

You could hear the hatred growing in her voice and there was now enough light in the tunnel to see her face clearly again. Her expression alone made you snap with anger.

"I didn't ask for any of you to do that!" You scream. "I didn't even want any of you here! I can handle it by myself! I don't need your help! I don't need shit from you!"

Her face stays the same but you could see your words were starting to get to her. "God, you're such a fucking spoiled brat. I don't even recognize you anymore."

"That's because I finally grew up!" You respond. "I finally see through everyone's bullshit! I finally speak my mind instead of letting everyone, including you, walk all over me."

Once the dam broke, the bottled up words came flooding out. "And you know what? I'm glad you're leaving. I'm happy I never have to see your face again! I'm so sick and tired of you bitching in my ear all the time! I hate you! I have always hated you!"

There it was. You could see the pain all over her face. You weren't sure why you were being so cruel. Your feelings were hurt and you were lashing out. Most of it was true, although the way you said it may not have been the best.

Armin clears his throat. You didn't even realize that they were finally able to dig through. All five of them stand there at the gaping hole in shock from overhearing the heated argument.

You were ashamed they heard you say all of that. You were ashamed you even said it to begin with.

Armin and Eren both looked at Mikasa. Jean had his head down, unable to look at you. Phoenix looked at you with a more concerned face than anything. Sasha had an arrow locked and loaded, she never takes her eyes off the enemy but you could see the disappointed look on her face just by her side profile.

No one says anything. They were all pretty speechless. It was safe to assume they all heard the part where you said you didn't ask for any of them to be here and didn't need them here.

Worst of all, you don't say anything either. For a brief three seconds of silence, you had the perfect opportunity to apologize but you never do. That only disappoints them more.

Jean, Eren and Phoenix take off while Armin and Sasha stay put by the man-made opening. "Wait. Where are they going?" You ask in panic. 

Armin takes a deep breath as he tries to recover from the argument. Eren is going with Jean and they went after Marco. Phoenix is looking for Ambrose."

You stand up from the ground, the adrenaline giving you a temporary burst of energy. "Phoenix went after Ambrose? I thought I said no one else touches him!"

You step forward to exit the tunnel but you come crashing straight to the ground again, the pain in your leg humbling you.

"We can't just let him get away with it, yn." He tries to persuade you. "No one has seen him since we've been here and we can't let him disappear."

"No, you don't understand." You cry as you hold onto your calf. "Ambrose will kill him! Phoenix doesn't serve a purpose to him anymore and if he stands in his way, he'll kill him."

Mikasa laughs. "And yet, you still defend him."

You snap your head toward her. "Why are you still speaking? Why don't you go chase after your man who is probably going to die all because you're too stupid to come here without an army behind you!"

"You're right." She answers. "The next time you put yourself in yet another stupid situation, I won't bother coming for you."

"I don't care! I don't care if you ever show up again." You fight.

She looks away from you. "Trust me, I won't."

"Good." Now that there was exposed light again, you look down at your leg. Your ankle was twisted into an impossible angle and was growing swollen by the minute.

Armin immediately hops into the tunnel. He almost gags as he sees it. "You sprained your ankle pretty badly."

"I can't sprain my ankle." You say in disbelief. "I can't break bones. I can't even break skin. It should be healing itself."

He barely touches the skin and you yelp in pain. It felt so odd to feel the sensation in its rawest form instead of just a dull ache like it normally would be. It was abnormal to even see your body even struggle in health period.

"I'm not a doctor but I sprained my ankle once. There's three different grades. Each grade escalates by severity. This looks like a grade 2 which is a large tear. If you continue to walk on it, it'll become a grade 3 which is a complete tear in your ligament. It's extremely painful." He says.

You wince. "What grade did you have?"

"A grade 1." He answers sheepishly. "So I can't even imagine how you're feeling right now, especially since your body isn't used to pain at all. Can you try to see if you can heal it?"

You look down at the damaged skin. "I can try." You lay your hand over your ankle and wrap your fingers around it. The torn tissue inside throbbed under your palm.

Mikasa speaks to Armin and Sasha as you try to concentrate. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't focus. Your mind, along with your heart, were racing far too quickly for the rest of your body to keep up with.

The warm feeling that flows through your palms was barely even there. You could see it in your mind but physically, it wasn't happening. You went too far and now you weren't sure when your powers were coming back. If they even plan to.

Sasha takes off now. Her disappearance causes your mind to lose focus again. You try and try with all the might you had left but it was like squeezing a lemon that already had all the juice sucked out of it. You could feel the drops but it wasn't enough.

"My foot's not healing." You say loud enough for them to hear from where you sit.

"At all?" Armin asks.

"Well, it is but very slowly." You explain. "It's never done this before. I think I'm too tired. It takes a lot of energy and I have none."

As you speak, they frantically look back and forth between you and something off in the distance. Their worried faces and panicked eyes made you even more anxious.

"Just stay sitting down and focus on healing your foot." Mikasa demands.

Anxiety begins to eat you alive as your brain helps fill in what must be happening outside that tunnel since you can't see for yourself. "No! I can't! This is all I have left until who knows when. What if it never comes back after this and I wasted my last bit of it on some sprained ankle."

"It's not just some sprained ankle." Armin clarifies. "You are shredding the ligament inside with each step you take."

Your closed fit slams against the ground. "It doesn't matter! I can still walk! I can still save someone!"

"Taking a walk?" A voice says from behind you. "Can I come?"

You turn your head and come face to face with the blonde guard named Annie, who seemed to have vowed to serve Marco no matter what.

"Mikasa..." You say as Annie begins to approach you. As much as you try to back away, your body jolted with pain during any movement.

Regardless of the fact that you two have been arguing since the second she arrived in Ember, Mikasa jumps in between you and Annie with no hestitation at all.

"Shut up and take care of your ankle." She says as she stares the blonde down. "I'm not saying it again. We'll go help the boys after I kill this bitch."

Annie smirks. You look at Armin for help but he's on Mikasa's side completely. He even tosses a nearby sword in the girl's direction.

"I'm not going to waste the last of my powers on myself." You still stand your ground. Well, sit your ground.

"Just do it! We're not leaving here until you do." She yells with frustration as she wraps her hand around the massive sword.

You were terrified. Mikasa was strong but you had never seen her fight or even hold a sword the entire time you've known her. Annie was a trained professional who seemed willing to go to any length.

If Mikasa gets hurt, you won't be able to help her because you'll be too busy using the last of your strength on yourself. You won't be able to help anybody. "Mikasa, you can't ask me to do this."

"I am not asking you." She didn't seem nearly as nervous as you did. In fact, the sword in her hand almost looked natural. "I'm telling you."

"All of you would die for me." You continue. "All of you came out here to save me knowing you could die for me. Why can't I do that for you guys?"

Annie swings at her with her own sword and Mikasa, like nothing, blocks the weapon with ease. "Because it isn't the same." She answers, her eyes never leaving the enemy.

"WHY NOT? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND I?!" You yell. Even though she seemed to be handling the battle well, all you could think about is her making one wrong move and Annie killing her instantly.

"YOU'RE A PRINCESS! I'M NOT!" She answers.

"So that means I can't be loyal to you the way you are to me?" You ask both Mikasa and Armin. Armin looked just as surprised by Mikasa's swordsmanship as you did. It was like she was one in another life.

"Just focus on healing your leg." Armin answers for Mikasa who was obviously busy. "We'll figure out the rest later. You're top priority."

You shake your head. "This is bullshit. Each of your lives are just as important as mine." You use all your strength to stand. It's a struggle but you manage to stand up on your two feet as long as you ignore the persistent pain.

"Y/N!" Mikasa shouts as she continues to fight Annie. She was doing a good job. Annie hadn't even laid a scratch on her yet. But as much as you wanted to imagine everyone else was fighting just as effortlessly, you couldn't.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa." You take a deep breath to distract from the pain. "But I can't just sit here and do nothing while everyone fights for me."

Mikasa quickly looks at Armin. "Do not let her leave!"

You smile gently. "I'll be back. I promise." Before she can say anything else, you take off running, shoving Armin to the ground as you pass him.

You hear Mikasa scream your name as you stray further and further. You can see Armin contemplating on chasing after you or staying beside Mikasa in case something happens. You take the opportunity to run as fast as you can.

Tears build in your eyes as you speed against the powerful wind. Your brain was screaming at you to stop as the pain became more and more real.

You could practically feel the muscle tear more and more, just as Armin said it would. The fact that you were running at a scary speed just meant you were speeding up the process.

You trip and fall multiple times on your way toward the castle. Each time, you force yourself to get back up. You lean up against brittle trees for support that just snap against your weight.

The cracked Earth only made it harder to run in a straight line. Not to mention that the pain in your leg was getting stronger by the second and you could feel yourself about to pass out from it.

As your vision begins to blur, you do everything possible to fight it. "Stay awake, stay awake." You tell yourself over and over.

With distorted eyes, you search everywhere for any one of them. Sasha, Eren, Phoenix or Jean. You even keep a look out for Ambrose or Marco but none of them ever cross your path.

"Damn it!" You take a break, your ankle throbbing. Finally, now that your body has the chance to recover for a moment, you see someone up ahead.

[play onward & upward by tommee profit here]

Marco and Jean both stand face to face about two miles away. The two both have long swords in their hands. It seems like they're just talking at first but the moment you see one of them raise their weapon, you take off running toward them again.

You run as fast as you can which as this point wasn't nearly as fast as you wanted it to be. You pass by several dead bodies on the way to them which only stirs up unwanted memories from back home.

From the flashbacks and the pain, you could feel your mouth water as vomit threatens to shoot up your throat. The fact that you continue to run regardless doesn't help either.

Their faces begin to get more clear as you get closer. Marco was laughing wildly as he swung his sword at his own best friend. Jean fought back viciously, his face boiling with rage and a mix of sadness.

You're so close that you can almost hear their conversation until someone grabs you and slams you up against the wall, your head immediately paying the price as it smashes up against the hard surface.

You were dizzy so you couldn't see him as clearly but Ambrose was now standing in front of you, his forearm pressed against your upper chest as he pins you to the wall. "Aht, aht."

"Let me go, Ambrose." You try to wiggle out his grip.

He looks at your neck which still was stained with a river of blood from earlier. He also looks down at your leg that was becoming worse by the second. "Why aren't you healing yourself?" He asks.

You ignore him and look over at Jean who was fighting Marco with a speed you hadn't seen before. Marco also was moving at the speed of light. The two had trained together for years. It doesn't surprise you that they were reading each other's every move.

"Ahhh." Ambrose looks in the same direction. "You're saving your energy in case he gets hurt."

Before you can say anything, he steps on your foot with all his weight and you scream out in pain. The noise makes Jean lose his focus and look in your direction. Marco, of course, takes the opportunity to attack Jean while he isn't looking.

"Let me go!" You try to fight him off. Ambrose was always much bigger and stronger than you. The fact that you didn't even have the energy to even fight him off made it that much easier for him to use his strength against you.

"I'm not letting you ruin this for me." He says as he looks you dead in the eye. "You have any idea how hard this was to pull off? I've spent years in someone else's shadow waiting for my moment."

You look at him with hatred and disgust. "How hard is it to stab your brother in the back?"

He grits his teeth as he applies more pressure on his arm. "I saved him from a life of misery! He and Kai aren't built for this life. They were forced into it!"

He moves his arm and places both hands on your shoulders, squeezing tightly so you can't escape. "But us? We are different. We have something special. We were made to do amazing things."

You stare at him in disbelief. He wholeheartedly believed that was the truth. "Everyone believes you and Kai are the twins but it's actually you and I." He says.

You attempt to move. "I am nothing like you."

He applies more pressure. "You are everything like me. Look at you. Look at your friends and the way they look at you. They don't recognize you anymore. You've changed. Your true colors are finally starting to show."

You look over at Jean just to ensure he's still okay but Ambrose turns your attention back to him. "I'm doing this for us so we can finally make our dreams a reality! We both get to rule! We both get the life we want!"

"Who the hell told you this was the life I wanted?!" You snap.

The look in his eyes somehow becomes even crazier. "You can kill Marco after you become queen! You don't have to stay married to him!"

"I can't kill him!" You yell. "I'll lose my powers!"

"Then I'll kill him for you!" He says easily as if it were nothing. "You can reclaim this kingdom as your own and make it a safe haven for people you heal and I'll rule over Eldia."

You hated how he was so hauntingly convincing. You didn't stand a chance against him, his powers of persuasion were as strong as the arms that pinned you to the wall.

You shake your head slowly as you look at the person you no longer recognize. "You can't just keep killing people, Ambrose. You'll be punished for it and rightfully so."

He smiles with lunacy. "That's why this plan is perfect! We blame everything on Marco, even Elijah's death and we can say I killed Marco to avenge him. No one has to even know the truth."

Your heart aches in your chest the moment he mentions Elijah's name. "You can't ask me to do that."

The grip around your shoulders loosens and he gets closer, his hostile energy softening. "Yn, they will kill me if they find out the truth." He suddenly looked like a scared child who lost their mother in a crowd. "I don't want to die. Are you really going to let them kill me?"

Your voice cracks as your throat locks up. "I would never let anyone hurt you."

He smiles and sighs with relief. "I know you wouldn't." He releases you and brings you forward into a hug. "I love you, yn."

"I love you, Ambrose." As his name leaves your lips, you stab the dagger in your hand right into his back and blood begins to flow through the fabric of his shirt. A single tear falls from your eye.

You hear him gasp as he feels the knife slice through his skin. He tries to croak some words but his body was in too much pain to do anything else but spill its contents.

You yank the knife out and take a step back. The dagger trembles in your hands as it drops to the floor. Your hands were stained with your brother's thick blood.

His hand reaches behind his back slowly as he tries to process what just happened. He stares at the hand that now is as red as yours. "W-What did you do?"

There's a flash is rage in his eyes. He looked as if he wanted to lunge forward and attack you with all the strength he had left in him.

But instead, the rage transitions into fear. Although he was 22 years old, he looked like an infantile again as his life began to flash before his very eyes.

He stumbles backward as the blood loss begins to make his head spin and his body weak. "You stabbed me in the back." His voice breaks.

Your heart crumbles inside your chest. The agonizing pain right in the center could consume you completely right here if you let it.

You couldn't speak. You couldn't move. You just watched as the life drained from his face and as he continued to stumble backward, fighting the urge to collapse to the ground.

He continues to step further and further back and away from you. He was in utter stock and disbelief that you betrayed him and that his baby sister was the one to draw his last breath on earth.

As he takes his last steps, you notice a large chunk of the bridge is missing behind him. There was no barrier to stop him from falling to his death.

"Wait." You realize. "Wait. Wait." You begin to cry. It suddenly all became extremely real. Ambrose was dying and it was all by your hand.

You leap forward in attempt to catch him before he slipped off into oblivion. Your arm reached out with every intention to stop him from stepping off.

But you're not quick enough. You're only a second late, your fingers grazing his as he falls off the bridge and straight to the rigid rocks several feet below.

Your hand comes up to your mouth as you sob into it. "No, no, no." You fall to the floor and look down below where his disfigured body now laid.

Ambrose was now officially dead.

You hear the sound of footsteps running toward you. You have your face down to the floor, your hair covering your vision so you can't see who it is. Not until they speak, that is.

"Yn..." Mikasa's scared voice quakes. "What did you just do?"

"No one hurts us but us." You mutter, the words sounding so foreign against your numb tongue. "I had to do it. I couldn't let anyone else hurt him."

She takes a step forward, a shaky hand reaching out to touch you before she pulls it away instead.

A tear falls onto your knee. "He was too far gone. I couldn't save him. I can't heal insanity. They were going hurt him. I had to do it."

"But... what about your powers?" She asks.

"Screw 'em." You wipe your eyes. "Now I have nothing holding me back."