An abrupt knock at the door snaps you out of your trance. "Princess, wake up. We have to get going." Marco yells from behind the door.

You come off your side and stare up at the ceiling. You didn't sleep at all last night. There were moments where you could feel yourself doze off but it was only a few seconds. Once your brain reminded you of what you'd be waking up to if you fell asleep, it became a lot harder.

No matter how hard you tried, your brain wouldn't shut up. You spent the entire night tossing and turning. You went over about a hundred different outcomes for every possible situation.

After a few more minutes of just staring at the roof, you slide out of bed and begin to collect your things.

Ms. Kirstein had breakfast ready and it was Jean's favorite, omelets. The entire kitchen smelled of eggs, tomatoes and ham.

Even though the table was miserably quiet while the two boys still had unresolved conflict, the sound of them devouring their food was enough to fill the room.

When everyone is finished, you help her clean the kitchen while the men collect the bags and put it into a carriage that Marco called for. Since the weather was better now, people were freely roaming the streets so it was crucial you weren't seen.

Marco is the first to say goodbye to her and the first to get onto the carriage. You decide to go next considering Jean's goodbye to his mother may be longer than most, so it's better for him to go last.

"Did you sleep well?" She asks.

"Actually, I haven't slept at all." You admit. "I couldn't. I was far too anxious."

She looks over at the door that Jean was coming in and out of as he lugs more bags into the carriage. "The same goes for Jean, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and he was outside."

You watch him as he sets the last bag onto the carriage. "Well, hopefully all goes well and we were worried for no reason at all."

She hugs you tightly like she never wants to let go. Every time she did, you felt like a small toddler again in her arms. It felt good to get away from the adult world for just a few seconds while her arms wrap around you.

"Goodbye, Mama Kirstein." You find comfort in her warmth one last time. "Try to visit us sometime."

"Goodbye dear." She says as she rubs your back. She then whispers. "By the way, I'm still rooting for you and Jean."

You pull away and smile sadly. "Me too."

Jean enters into the kitchen and washes his hands off in the sink. You begin to walk out the door. "I'll leave you two be."

You quickly get into the carriage and sit there alone with Marco. He was struggling with one of the straps of his uniform.

"You seem nervous." You mention.

He chuckles. "Your parents can be quite intimidating." He then tugs on his collar. "Especially the king, stone cold expression that one. Don't even get me started on the queen, she has the sharpest tongue and-"

He then quickly shuts up when he's remembers those are your parents. "I'm sorry, your highness."

You laugh. "It's alright. I know first hand how scary they can be. I may not look it but I'm quite nervous myself."

You lean forward to get on a more personal level. "I know we've gone over this already, but I want to run it by you again. You aren't going to tell my parents or anyone else about what you saw, right?"

He shakes his head. "I won't. As much as I know I should, I know Jean will probably end up most likely dead and I don't want that to happen. Regardless of our little issue we have going on right now."

He then tugs at his collar. "I'm mainly worried because I'm not too sure if I'm that good of a liar."

"I'm not asking you to lie." You lead him. "I'm simply just asking you to leave some information out."

He takes a deep breath. "Okay, I think I can do that."

You weren't even sure if you could do it yourself. Leaving out a detail or two was easy as long as people didn't start asking questions.

And with brothers like yours, you knew there was no avoiding that. Not to mention, your mother and Mikasa.

You watch as Jean exits the house and begins to approach the carriage. He swings the door open and slides into the side of the carriage where Marco sat.

Away from you, of course.

You weren't surprised he didn't want anything to do with you. He not once looked your way. It was almost as if you weren't in the same space as him.

It was killing you to not speak to him. If you and Marco were practically sweating with nerves, you couldn't bear to imagine how he must be feeling.

Normally, it was effortlessly easy to read him. Jean was like a book you read too many times and yet, whenever you looked at all the shelves of books you have not read, you still pick up the same book because you never get tired of it.

But right now, the words on his pages were blurred. The font was crooked and the ink smeared. You could no longer read him.

He felt almost distant. Like a stranger if he hadn't looked so damn familiar. The face from early childhood to your future daydreams. Jean was a constant reoccurring thought in your mind.

He was maybe two feet away. If you reached your arm out, your fingers would be only inches from his chest. But in this small carriage, it seemed there was an entire ocean in between.

Marco was facing the left side window, watching each house the carriage passed by. Jean was facing the right side window and didn't seem to be present in the universe at all.

Then there was you, brutally cramped in the middle facing them. Neither of the boys wanted to speak to each other and Jean didn't practically want to talk to you either.

With that being said, the ride to the castle was ridden in complete, agonizing silence.

When the carriage finally arrived, you were actually grateful it was over. As soon as the ride stopped moving, you hopped out the door without hesitation. "Oh thank god."

You fumble out, tripping on your dress as you try to step down. Jean sucks his teeth. "Watch it. You do know how to walk, don't you?"

Even when angry with you, he still watched your every move. "Oh, it speaks." You spew in return.

"Ladies." Marco steps out. "Let's settle down." He forces a fake smile and runs a hand through his hair. "We must appear happy if we are to pull this off, yes?"

You bring yourself to smile too. "Right." You turn to the mute beside you. "Smile, Jean."

He doesn't participate in your slander and begins to carry all the belonging inside along with Marco.

As you stand in front of the castle's doors, you tilt your head to the sky to see the tippy top of the castle. "Queen Historia's castle made this one feel so much smaller now."

The home you grew up in, every waking moment and every sleepless night, seemed to look like a distant memory. It was strange since you were only gone for a month and some days.

"This is small to you?" Marco scoffs as he throws a bag over his shoulder.

You glare. "You know what I mean."

He walks inside with the belongings, leaving you by the carriage and with Jean who was grabbing as much as he can. You try to catch him while Marco is away. "Jean."

"What?" 

An invisible hand slaps you in the face. "Are you going to continue to act like I'm not here?"

"I said what, didn't I?" He asks with attitude. He grabs another bag and then begins to walk away.

You tug on the strap to pull him back, causing one of the bags to fall. "Hey! You have every right to be angry with me but that doesn't mean you have to be rude."

He sighs and picks up the bag from the floor. "Whatever you say." He looks you dead in the face and gives you the most counterfeit smile you've ever seen. "Princess."

You always had a sour taste in your mouth whenever someone referred to you as Princess. You always preferred to be called by your name. It made you feel more like a human rather an object.

But this was the first time in your life that the harmless word truly devastated you. You remember the feeling of triumph when you had first got Jean to call you by your name and not Princess. He had said your name so beautifully that time and every other time after that.

Now it was back to square one. It was like he was gone for years and never spoke to anyone and then just reappeared out of nowhere like he did the first time. A familiar stranger.

"Alright," Marco smacks his hands together. "I'll have someone take your stuff to your room, Princess. I'll go retrieve your parents and let them know you're here."

"Okay." You stutter as your body begins to shake. You start hopping around as you shake your hands. "Oh god, I'm sweating like a sinner in church."

It turns out you weren't as ready to come home as you thought you were. The second you step foot into the castle, it was like a massive timer had gone off and it was just counting down for hell to break lose.

You knew you had to remain composed. If you looked even slightly nervous, they would read straight through you and know immediately that you're hiding something. That's the worst part of lying to people who know you better than anyone else.

You practice taking deep breaths as you pace the corridor. "Patience is me, I am patience. Patience is me, I am patience." You repeat over and over.

Jean seemed to be doing surprisingly well. That or he had an amazing poker face. He was standing perfectly still, not a single nervous twitch. His arms were crossed and his emotions were practically nonexistent. "I wish you could see how dumb you look right now." He says.

"Are you not yet satisfied?" You snap. "Or will this punishment of yours continue on forever? Because frankly, it's getting pretty boring."

He does the same stupid smile. "Oh, don't worry, your highness. You'll be free of it whenever you go to Cicily with your husband."

He was being unbearably cold. Not that he didn't have a reason to. If it were the other way around, you aren't too sure if you'd be mature about it either.

You try to think of a smart remark to say back but something stops you. You hear the faint sound of someone yelling and getting closer by the second. It was approaching you at an extremely alarming pace.

Kai hops off the last step on the staircase and crashes right into you. You stumble back several feet and bump into a piece of furniture behind you.

"Kai." You realize with a laugh. You didn't really how much you missed his presence until now.

He pulls away and grabs you by both shoulders. "Don't leave me with these people again."

You take his remark with little seriousness. "I doubt it was that bad."

"Mom is a complete robot while planning your wedding, Dad has been stuck listening to the complaints from citizens and the storm, Elijah is dragged along to listen all the time and Ambrose is somehow even weirder than he already was." Kai waves his hands in the air dramatically as he speaks.

You blink slowly taking in all the information. "Wow, it really is bad."

He then brightens up, grateful he no longer has to endure it all alone. "But things should get better now that you're here, right?"

There's the sound of Jean clearing his throat. Kai looks in his direction for the first time and plainly says, "Oh. Hey Jean."

"Hey." Jean responds sarcastically and monotone.

You look around for a moment. "So, where is everyone?"

"Elijah is riding his horse and Ambrose is...well, I don't know where Ambrose is, but who cares?" He explains. "Are you going to tell me everything now or are you going to keep making me wait?"

You grin. "I don't even know where to begin, honestly."

Elijah walks through the outer doors while taking his helmet off his head. His white riding uniform was stained brown all over from all the mud and melted snow.

"Well, well." He says as he approaches you. "Look who finally decided to grace us with her presence again." He hugs you tightly and then hugs Jean as well. "Jean, good to see you alive and well."

He returns his attention back to you. "Did you have fun?"

"I did." You smile.

He crosses his arms over his chest. "Well? Go on. Tell us everything."

You look at Jean for a brief moment to try to calm your nerves but it only makes you even more nervous. "Well..."

Just a moment later, the doors to your right swing open and they smash against the wall behind them, causing the chandelier above to shake. Ambrose appears from the abrupt opening. "So everyone decided to have a meeting and not invite me?"

"Ah," Elijah teases. "I knew it was too peaceful."

Ambrose ignores his older brother's taunts and throws his arm around your shoulders. "You sneaky little wench." He pulls you harder into him, his grip strengthening. "Don't think you're going to get away with drugging me."

You try to wiggle out of his chokehold but it's futile. While you worm your way out, he turns to Jean. "Jean." He smiles. "Did you get shorter?"

Jean's face stays as emotionless as ever. "Funny."

Ambrose finally releases you and you push him away. He laughs. "So, did you find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?"

You open your mouth to speak but instead of your voice filling up the silence, it's someone else's. Mikasa squeals as she runs toward you and falls into your arms. "You're finally back!"

It was funny how every time you even attempted to talk about how the traveling went, someone interrupted. You were honestly grateful for the perfectly timed interruptions. It helped stall while you came up with the best response.

You hug her back. "I'm glad to see you all missed me."

Kai raises an eyebrow and brings his hand to his chin. "Is it me or do you look different? Did you change your hair?"

You bring your hand to your face. "Different? Different how?"

Ambrose makes an ugly face. "She looks the same to me."

The boys discuss your looks as if you're not standing right there. Kai holds up his point of the argument saying there's something different about you but he can't put his finger on it. Ambrose denies it all and says you look the same way you always do.

While they're distracted, Mikasa attempts to pull you away. "Come on, tell me everything."

You grab Jean's sleeve for support to stay in place. You quickly release the fabric when you release what you did subconsciously. "Wait. I can't leave right now."

She frowns. "Why not?"

You couldn't exactly say you were terrified to leave Jean's side. You had no idea what was going to happen to him after all this and you felt if you left him alone for one second, everything would go to hell. You had to make sure both of your stories matched up.

"Hey!" Ambrose shouts as he pulls you away from Mikasa harshly. "We saw her first!"

Kai joins in. "Yeah, you have all night to cuddle with her if you want."

Mikasa glares at him. "Watch it, Malakai."

Ambrose points a long finger into the air. "That's Prince Malakai to you."

Mikasa's mouth drops open and she begins to spew harsh words toward Ambrose who only laughs and makes it worse.

You look at Jean considering he hasn't said a single word in forever and was oddly quiet. He seemed unbelievably uncomfortable like he wanted to be anywhere else but here. Yet, he was still standing there, stiff as a board and trying his best not to show it.

Despite his best efforts, you could feel his distraught emotion. Just from the look on his face, his body language and the energy he gave off, it said everything you needed to know.

You can hear Mikasa arguing with both Ambrose and Kai. Kai mainly laughing as Mikasa holds her ground aganist Ambrose who always made it his life goal for everyone to feel inferior around him.

Jean feels your eyes on him and looks your way. The way he was looking at you made you feel something indescribable.

He was looking at you like he couldn't bear the sight of you, like all he wanted to do was look away.

It pained you how different it was from the way he usually looked at you. Instead of wanting to look away like he does right now, he'd look at you like he couldn't imagine himself ever doing so.

That was obviously before you broke his heart.

He pulls away and turns his attention back to the three still arguing. You do the same and watch as Ambrose makes cocky remarks while Mikasa humbles him. Kai instigates by playing both sides and encouraging the two to say meaner things.

It takes a second for it to click in your brain that it's not only Jean who is silent, but Elijah too, and it takes only a second later for you to realize he's staring right at you.

He had been this whole time.

It wasn't necessarily abnormal. Ambrose and Kai were definitely the most vocal of your brothers but Elijah usually always made sure to get a word in.

But this time, there's nothing. He's not even paying attention to the conversation. Only to you.

A memory plays in your head from many years ago. A memory of when you first started to follow Elijah around like a lost puppy. You could recall asking him why he didn't talk so much but somehow always knew everything that was going on.

He had responded back then by saying, "We have five senses. When you use one less, the others become amplified. Just because I open my mouth less than everyone else, doesn't mean my eyes and ears aren't working. If anything, they're picking up the slack."

You look to him now in present time. Elijah stands there, eyes never leaving your face as he studies it carefully as if he were trying to solve a puzzle. You break eye contact and pretend to be entertained by the conversation happening in front of you.

You can feel his eyes on you still but you're too scared to look his way. You knew he would read straight through you if your eyes met his. He was abnormally good at reading through people's bullshit. It was terrifying.

From the corner of your eye, you watch as his eyes switch from you to Jean, which honestly made you even more nervous.

You finally look his way and you can practically see the wheels in his mind turn. Then finally, he says, "You got to be fucking kidding me."

Everyone goes silent. Kai and Ambrose look at their older brother. "What?" Kai asks.

You take a step away from Jean, keeping a safe distance. Though, it was probably much too late. Elijah had already put two and two together.

Elijah looks away from Jean and back at you. "Please tell me you're not that stupid."

Your hands that rested at your side flinch into small fists as you ball the fabric of your dress into them. "What are you talking about?"

"Jean." Elijah ignores you. "Come over here." He gestures him to follow into another room.

You stand in between them. "Wait, where are you going?"

Your older brother scowls at you. "I need to ask him something."

"About what?" You ask.

"About YOU." He responds back with a tone far too similar to the one your father used when he was angry. He even looked like him for a moment there.

You don't allow him to make you feel smaller. "If it's about me then I should be present too."

"Why?" He continues. "So you can make sure your stories line up?"

How the hell is he so good at this shit?

"Stories?" Ambrose questions. "What do you mean?"

You and Elijah both participate in what felt the most intense staring contest ever. He refused to let you gaslight him and you refused to let him walk all over you.

While the room is full with uncomfortable silence, everything begins to click in Kai's brain. He looks at his best friend with the look of utter betrayal and disappointment. "You didn't."

Ambrose grows annoyed that he's the last one to get it as always. "CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHATS HAPPENING?"

You always thought it'd be Ambrose who'd be the most angry about it and maybe he would be if he could pick up hints the way your other brothers did. But instead, it's Kai who reacts angrily.

Kai pushes Jean toward the wall and grabs him by the collar. "TELL ME YOU DIDNT DO WHAT I THINK YOU DID."

You run up to them and pull at his arm. "Let him go!" Kai's normally chocolate brown eyes were now a pitch black. The whites of his eyes were hazy and blinded by rage. "SHUT UP, Y/N."

He looks at Jean again, the two face to face. "TELL ME YOU DIDN'T DO IT."

You try to pull his fists away from Jean's shirt. "I don't know what you think happened but you need to calm down."

You could feel yourself shaking. You were having to fix all of this without help because Jean refused to defend himself. He didn't deny any of it. He just remained silent.

Elijah speaks up and pulls you away from the two boys. "How stupid do you think we are?"

"You're my bestfriend!" Kai shouts as he tightens his grip. "I trusted you to take care of my sister, to bring her back home safely and instead you took advantage of her."

"Advantage?" You attempt to go up to Kai but Elijah stands in your way. "Hey! Jean didn't take take advantage of me! I specifically asked him to do it. If you're going to blame someone, blame me!"

Elijah continues to hold you back. "He could've said no."

"Y/n, it's okay." Jean finally says something. Kai pushes him even deeper into the wall. "NO, IT'S NOT OKAY. That's my little sister!"

"Wait..." Ambrose begins to see everything clearly now.

You look at him and rush over to stand in front of him. "Ambrose no, no, no. Please don't." If you were scared of any of them fighting Jean, it was him. He was the biggest build wise and the strongest.

He looks at you. "You slept with him?"

You try to save the situation one last time even though you knew it was pointless. You were scared and reaching for any way to end this peacefully. "No, I didn't."

"DON'T LIE TO ME." He shouts in your face.

You take a step back, his aggressiveness scaring you for a moment but you keep your hands on him. "It's my fault! I asked him to do it." You cry. "I wanted my first time to be with someone I trust. Someone that I love."

They melt instantly when they see the tears that fall from your eyes. You breathe hard, your chest aching. "It's my fault. Please don't blame him. I egged him on."

Kai releases Jean and steps away, taking a moment to breathe and control his temper. Now that Jean was free reign, Ambrose punches him right in the face without warning.

Jean falls back into the wall and onto the floor. His hand comes up to his cheek that was quickly turning red and swelling up.

You scream and pull Ambrose away from him with all the force you can. He only moves back a few steps before he smacks your arm away. "Don't touch me!"

And with perfect timing, the doors swing open and your mother and father both stand there in shock and confusion. Your mother grabs both ends of her dress and scurries over to the scene. "Boys! What's going on here?"

Ambrose ignores her as he turns away and shakes his hand off in the air while blowing air out his mouth. Kai watches Jean slowly stand from the ground like he wants to help him up but his pride won't allow it. Elijah pinches the bridge of his nose with irritation. "You didn't need to punch him, you idiot."

"It's better than what you were planning to do!" Ambrose shouts back, arms out. "What is a lecture going to do?"

Queen Solana walks up to Jean and places her hand gently over the quickly forming bruise. "I thought we raised you three better than to just go around and assault people."

"Please," Ambrose scoffs. "I had every reason to."

You could feel your blood bubble with fury. "Oh, give me a break, Ambrose! All this talk about wanting to protect my purity and innocence when you should be the last person to speak on such matters."

The heated words flow out of you like lava. "Tell me, how many princesses have you slept with? What of their innocence? Their purity? Or did that not matter to you?"

"I'm sorry, what is all this talk about purity and innocence?" Your father asks.

Ambrose laughs harshly. "Ask your daughter. She seems to have the facade down perfectly."

You stare at him with disbelief. You couldn't wrap your mind around how someone could be so hypocritical.

"Y/n," Your mother brings your attention to her voice. "Let's go to your room."

You turn to her. "But-"

"NOW." Her voice echos throughout.

Everyone stares at you except the one person you want to look at you. He never does.

You sigh and make your way up the stairs as she follows closely behind. The journey to your room is silent and feels much longer than it should.

When you arrive, you step into the room that felt different now that you hadn't slept in it for so long. It almost felt unfamiliar in a way.

The purple bedsheets, the mauve curtains. It all felt outdated. Like they belonged to you in a past life and not this one.

The queen closes the door behind her. When you hear it shut, you prepare yourself for the extensive lecture you're about to receive or the immense amount of questions you'll be asked.

Instead of screaming, she does the unexpected and hugs you tightly. It had been awhile since you felt her embrace. It wasn't something that happened regularly.

You bring your arms around her too. "Mother, I can explain everything."

"Before you do that," She pulls away from you. "How are you? Are you alright?"

You become taken aback. "You're... asking if I'm alright?" This was definitely not how you expected this conversation to go.

"Well, of course." She says as if it were the silliest thing in the world. "I haven't seen you an a whole month and a half. We spoke no words to eachother. I was worried out of my mind."

You pull away from her. "I'm okay."

She looks at you with soft eyes. "But are you really?" It was like she was reading right through you.

You feel yourself grow weak. Your body no longer had the strength to keep up with your lies. She had raised you to always hide your emotions. Not only because you were a princess but now you knew it was for other reasons too. "I.." Your voice aches.

She pulls you into her arms again but this time with more affection. "My poor girl."

Tears fall once again from your eyes and they roll slowly down the apples of your cheeks. The tears seep into the fabric on her shoulder.

"I get why you did it all." You speak. "Why you hid me away, why you're so protective of me, why you were so hesitant on telling me more about my powers. The stories, they're so..."

"Horrible." She finishes for you. "I was sick to my stomach when I first read the book."

You move away from her embrace to see her face. "You've read it?"

She wipes your damp cheek dry. "Of course. Do you think Queen Historia would've gave me the flower without telling me everything first?"

You felt foolish for not realizing. "I guess I should've put that together."

She smiles gently as she tries to change the subject. "Are her eyes still as shockingly blue?"

You chuckle as you recall the striking, icy blue color of the Queen's eyes that only looked even more blue against her golden hair.

"Can I ask you something?" You say as you take a seat at the edge of your bed.

She sits beside you. "Anything."

You brace yourself. "Why have you never talked about Celestite? It's your home."

She doesn't even need to think of her answer. "Eldia is my home now. I became the queen here and it's my responsibility to watch over Eldia and it's people, not—"

"People died there." You stop her. "Masses of people. Innocent people going about their day. Children, animals. Gone in just a second."

She turns away from you and adjusts her crown. "You don't need to remind me. The memory is quite fresh."

You knew she was hiding it. The whole reason she never mentioned her homeland is because she could not bear to speak about what happened. How could she? How could anyone?

"I don't see how it was so simple to leave it behind." You admit. "I understand that you had duties here but—"

"But nothing." She clears her throat. "My older brother, your uncle, is king there and he has a very capable wife who aids him well as queen. I have no business there."

She said it so easily. The words were merely nothing as they slipped off her tongue but the way she couldn't meet your eyes showed you that it was hurting her to say them.

"Don't you miss it?" You ask.

She finally turns to you. "Of course I do. But I should be honest, I feel a stronger connection to Eldia than I ever did Celestite."

"Really?" You don't believe her.

She recognizes your doubtfulness and places her hand on yours. "Really." She sits properly as she continues. "I didn't feel like myself there. I had older siblings so my parents didn't pay much attention to me. I wasn't the first born son, nor the first born daughter. I wasn't anywhere near in line for the throne. I was merely just there."

She looks in the direction of the window as she recalls those days. "I felt like a waste of space. I found myself wondering what I was meant to do with my life."

"Then I got married and came to Eldia," She breathes out. "Suddenly, I had a purpose in life. I was a queen to people who needed one. A wife to a king. A mother to four incredible children. I felt needed. I felt like I had finally found my place in this world."

You smile at her and she returns the same smile. Her hand tightens around yours. "Maybe you'll
feel the same when you go to Cicily."

You slide your hand out of her grip and stand up from the bed. You walk over to the same window she was looking at. "I doubt it. I went to Marley and Paradis, two kingdoms that exceed Eldia in every way and yet, none of them made me feel the way I feel when I am here. I feel... connected to this place."

She laughs and stands up from the bed too. "My God, child, who understands you? You spent your entire life wanting to leave Eldia and now you can not fathom ever leaving it."

You spin around to face her. "It's not that. I still
want to see the world. I still want to do so many things. I just... maybe I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet."

She walks closer to you, only a few feet apart. Her hands together in front of her. "I don't think it's Eldia that you're so worried to leave behind."

You say nothing. You didn't need her to elaborate further. You knew exactly what she meant and who she was referring to.

"Is there something I need to know about Jean?" She clarifies anyway. "Did something happen between you two?"

You consider telling the truth but nothing good would come from it. But then again, you couldn't lie either. Marco swore he wouldn't say anything but who knows if that was true. Not to mention your brothers now know too.

"I kissed him." You let the words slip out your mouth.

She doesn't seem surprised in the slightest. "Is that all?"

"Yes."

She pauses for a moment like she's not fully convinced that's all that happened but she carries on because she realizes that the less she knows, the better. "Alright, if you say that's all that happened, I'll take your word for it."

You back your face away. "You're oddly calm about it."

She looks at you like you said the funniest thing. "Did you expect me to behave the way your brothers did?"

You shiver recalling the situation. "Well, no." Considering they knew it was more than just a kiss, you don't blame the different reactions. "But I expected you to at least be angry with me."

Your mother walks around the room. "You were alone and vulnerable and he was there protecting you, it happened in the heat in the moment. No need to make it any bigger than that. We can move on."

"So that's it?" You question. "Nothing happens to him?" It all seemed too easy.

She turns to face you. "Well, your father has to be the judge of that but I'm sure if Jean explains that you were the one who kissed him, he will make an exception."

You turn away from her eyes. You weren't really sure what Jean would say and the uncertainty was driving you mad inside. Would he be honest or would he lie?

And if your brothers were there, things would only be worse.

"Y/n."

You look up from the ground as you snap back to reality. "Yes?"

Her soft eyes sharpen. "If something else happened, you need to tell me."

"That's it." You answer almost instantly. That may have been suspicious but if you hesitated for even a second, she'd know you were lying.

She takes a step closer to you. "Because if you tell me one thing and Jean says another, I'm going to be extremely angry with you."

You snap, the anxiousness in you finally becoming too much. "I said nothing happened!"

She stares at you and it's like an imaginary voice whispers in her ear because her entire demeanor changes. "Come here." She commands.

"What?" Your attitude begins to grow.

"COME HERE." She repeats firmly.

You do as you're told to avoid any conflict and stand before her. She looks at you up and down for what felt like ten minutes straight. She finally meets your eyes and slowly begins to shake her head. "I should've known."

"Excuse me?" You say as you take a step back.

"You had sex with him." She responds.

How? How was it possible? You understood why your brothers put it together since there was so much awkward tension and Jean made it pretty obvious by never defending himself. But your mother? How did she know just by looking at you?

You had always heard that mothers could tell when their daughters had become sexually active but you never took it seriously. Well, until now that is.

She begins to pace around the room with frustration. "I gave you the opportunity to tell me the truth and you lied to me!"

You were over it. You were done playing pretend when everyone seemed to know the truth. It was pointless. "What am I supposed to do? I'm trying to protect him!"

"Protect him?!" She shouts back.

"Yes!" You match her tone. "Of course I'm going to lie! If I say the truth, he'll get punished for something that he doesn't deserve to be punished over."

She scoffs. "Save it, y/n. Are you really going to stand here and say that you forced him to have sex with you?"

"No!" You grow more frustated. "I didn't but-"

She holds her hand up to stop you. "Then he is just as guilty as you are."

You approach her as you shake your head. "You don't understand."

She holds her ground unfazed. "Oh, I understand completely. It is you who does not understand!
You are engaged and set to be married in a few weeks, yn!"

"I KNOW THAT!" You scream.

She somehow gets closer. "Do you? Because your behavior doesn't correspond with what your mouth is saying."

You resist the urge to pull your hair straight out your scalp. "Can you all stop making it seem like I'm just some whore who slept with some stranger?! I did it because I'm in love with him!!"

She finally shuts up.

"I love him, mom." You give in. "I have since the day I first met him. He's the first person I want to see when I wake up and the last person I think of before I sleep."

You bring your hand to your chest. "My heart it...it yearns for him in ways that it could never for anyone else."

You grab her hands. "I made a mistake. I understand that what I did was wrong but I don't regret it. I lost my virginity to someone I love. Someone I trust. Someone I care about and who cares about me! Not someone I just met."

The pain in your voice was almost impossible to hide. "I love him."

She pulls her hands away and takes a step back. "You're infatuated with him, it isn't love. He manipulated you into thinking it was love."

You slowly shake your head. "Don't do that. Don't belittle me. Don't belittle my feelings. I know how I feel."

Your mother scoffs. "Please, yn. What do you know about love? You've been in the borders of this castle your entire life and the day you leave and are all alone, you fall for the first person who gives you attention."

"And who's fault is that? Huh?" You fight back.

"I know you think you love him but you're still so young and naive." She explains.

Too young to fall in love but old enough to marry? How did that make sense?

You couldn't take it anymore. "STOP IT! I'm so sick of all of you treating me like I'm some child who can't make decisions for herself! I'm so tired of everyone making me feel so small, so weak."

"Every time I did something bad or lied, I would feel weak after. I thought it was guilt but it was the flower punishing me by taking my powers and making me weak." You realize out loud.

"Every time I tried to stand up against my brothers for bullying me, I would hit one of them back and I'd get weak and they would push me down and Jean would pick me up." You continue.

Everything finally had begun to click together. "I'm not a weak person. I'm not naive. I'm not a child. I made the decision. He didn't trick me or manipulate me. I asked him to do it because I love him and I wanted my first time to be with someone I feel deeply for."

She still doesn't even try to put herself in your shoes. "You haven't even given Phoenix the chance to-"

You throw your arms out. "Why wait for someone to make me fall in love with them when I already know deep in my heart I love someone else!"

Your rant only continues to carry on. "And why does it matter who I marry? I'm not even the first in line. Elijah is! I'm not even even second or third! Who cares if I marry rich or not?! Why do we need more money? Are we that greedy and selfish that we need that much income?"

She seemed shocked by all your honesty and your disrespectful tone. You were usually more understanding.

She looks at you as if she doesn't know you. "Look how this has changed you. Disrespecting your mother and starting fights with your brothers. I don't even recognize you anymore."

Your feet remain firm. "You believing I'm not the type to stand up for my myself proves you don't know me nearly as much as you think you do."

"This is why I ran away! I wanted you all to take me seriously and see I really meant it when I said this isn't the life I want! I needed you all to see how serious I was!" You spew out.

You let your body cool. "You may be looking at me with utter disappointment but atleast now you're finally looking at me like an adult."

She looks unamused by your speech. "You want to be treated as an adult so badly, the two of you will be tried as adults.

She tries to walk away but you step in front of her. "Look, I know at the end of the day, it's your word against mine. But I'll be damned if I don't try. This isn't fair. He shouldn't be punished for this!"

"He committed a crime." She states.

"Since when is it a crime to love someone?!" You yell.

She rolls her eyes, taking your words with little regard. "Please y/n, you think he loves you?"

"I know he does!" You respond.

"He's in love with the idea of you." She corrects. "People say things in the heat of the moment like during inter-"

You felt like you were going crazy. "He didn't say it while we were having sex! He told me fully clothed! He has loved me for as long as I've loved him. I saw proof!"

Her mouth presses shut before she opens it again. "Jean can not provide for you the way Phoenix can."

"I am fully capable of taking care of myself." You remind her. "And Jean is perfectly qualified to do so too! He protected me the entire time we were traveling."

She crosses her arms. "No, you got lucky. You were lucky that no one knew where you were to find you but that luck is bound to run out. No one is truly blessed with such an infinity."

"Do you even care about me?" You ask. "Or am I just someone you gave birth to for the sole purpose of pawning them off to use for your own personal gain?"

She seems irritated with your remark. "Of course I care for you. You're my daughter. My only daughter. I just want what's truly best for you."

You continue to stand in the way of her and the door. "This is the best for me! If i'm with Jean, I'll be happy. I'll be the happiest you've ever seen me. If you truly care for me, you'll let me have this."

"Do you think I got to choose who I married?" She questions you. "Do you think I got to pick who I loved?"

It seemed like the argument was endless. "Is that what this is about? You want me to suffer the same way you did? You want me to have the same twisted fate you did?"

She points an angry finger at you and raises her voice. "Don't you dare say that again! I love your father and he blessed me with four amazing children."

Her hand comes down. "You may not like the way things are but those are the rules, and you do not get to choose when to and when not to follow based on how you feel!"

You slap your arms down to your sides with exhaustion. "Please, mother. If I were doing things based on how I feel, I wouldn't even be having this discussion with you right now. I would've went ahead and did it without your permission."

"So then why haven't you?" She tests.

"Because I don't want it to sever our family! I don't want to lose you or my father, much less my brothers who mean everything to me." You testify. "That is why I am trying to do things the right way. I am trying to speak to you as an adult. As a woman."

You grab onto her hand. "As your daughter. Pleading with you to just give her this one thing. I'll never ask you for anything ever again. I swear it."

She rips her hand away. "I don't have time for this." Before you can say anything else, she's already halfway out the door.

"Let me know whenever you're in the mood to care for someone other than yourself!" You shout out last time before she slams the door shut.

You pause for a moment before you scream and throw a vase nearby straight to the floor. It instantly shatters to pieces.

You stare at the broken shards of glass by your feet. You hear the sound of the door opening and Mikasa pokes her head in. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." You say as you squat down to pick up the pieces.

She squats down beside you. "Don't worry about this, I'll get it."

You stop her hands from proceeding. "No. I got it. It's my mess, I should be the one to clean it up."

She watches as you carefully place each piece of glass onto your palm. "What happened?" She asks.

You pick up as many as you can and dump it into the trash. The rest of the tinier fragments, Mikasa cleans with a broom.

You sigh heavily as you toss yourself onto your bed. Your face was smushed into your pillow as you lay face down. "I'm so stupid."

Your words become muffled by your suffocated mouth. "I may have ruined Jean's life and why? Because I wanted a kiss? Because I wanted my first time to be with him? Because I wanted a stupid month of freedom?"

She places the broom against the wall and cautiously approaches the bed. "So it's true. You two..."

You lazily pick your head up. "More than once."

Her eyes stretch wide. "Wow."

You push your face down again. "Yeah."

She slowly takes a seat on the bed as she tries to process everything. "Did it..."

"Hurt?" You turn your cheek.

She cringes. "I guess that was a stupid question, wasn't it?"

You flip over so you can now look up at the roof. Purple canopy curtains hung beautifully over you. "It was...amazing."

"But?" She knew you too well.

"But it wasn't worth it." You shrug before correcting yourself. "I mean, it was incredible, I just... I just wish I never did it."

She lays back beside you and stares at the roof too, her hands locked together over her stomach. "Do you have feelings for him?"

You laugh. "Feelings." Your throat slowly began to close in. "The way I feel goes beyond just feelings. Mikasa, when I'm with him I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. I can feel the entire world around us stay still. I feel like I can do anything, like I'm invincible."

You watch the curtains above sway in the soft wind that spewed out the window. "I feel safe and adored and most of all, understood. He doesn't see me the way everyone else does. He sees me. REALLY sees me. He has since he was kid. He has these paintings of me that he made years ago that speak to me in ways no other piece of artwork can."

You turn to her and place your hand over your heart. "My heart aches when he's not around. My heart breaks at the thought of him being with anyone else."

She smiles softly. "You're in love."

Your hand falls from your chest. "With someone I can't have."

You turn back to the roof. "People write books about this kind of love. I always wanted a fairytale ending but who knew my life would be just like Romeo and Juliet instead?"

She tries to lighten the mood. "Except the two of you won't die in the end."

You feel your chest lock up at the very word. "What do you think they're going to do to him?"

She looks at the ceiling too. "I'm not sure. Your father made me leave so it could be just him, Jean and your brothers. I didn't get to hear much."

You sit up straight. "What do I do? How can I fix this?"

She sits up too with a confused look on her face. "I'm not really sure there's anything you can do."

"There has to be." You plead. "This can't be it. I can still make things right."

"How do you plan to do that?" She asks.

You look around your room as if the answer would somehow just appear. Your eyes meet with the family portrait to the far left of your room. A painting of you along with your parents and siblings.

"I just need to talk to them." You say as you stare at each of their faces individually. "I should do it right now while they're all in the same room."

She grows uneasy. "I don't know. I don't think you should go in there. Before your father sent me off, he told me to make sure you didn't leave your room until the discussion was over."

You scoff and jump off the bed. "Shutting me out like always." You slip on your shoes and head for the door. "They don't ever learn, do they?"

Mikasa hops off the bed as well. "Wait! I don't want them to get even more angry at you. Not to mention, your father will be pissed with me too for letting you leave."

You reach for the handle of the door. "Things can't get much worse from here so I have nothing left to lose." You look at her before you exit. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't get in trouble."

You close the door shut behind you before Mikasa can run after you. You hear the door swing open behind you so you run quickly down the hall and make a sharp turn at the corner.

Your legs burned as you raced down the stairs and down to the bottom floor. Your shoes echoed through the halls and staff watched as you zoomed past them.

For some reason it felt like the room grew further and further. Like no matter how fast you ran, you would never catch up. It was dreadful.

After what felt like forever, you finally reach the doors. You brake just in time as you stand before them. You breathe heavily as you try to catch your breath.

As quietly as you can, you press your ear firmly on the door to try to listen. You can hear a familiar voice that you quickly point out to be Kai's.

"She's engaged, Jean." You hear him say. "Why would you even put yourself through that?"

The next few sets of words come from Jean. "Because I love her and not in the way everyone else does either. I love her. I would destroy my entire life for just a fleeting moment with her."

It felt like time froze. You couldn't move or even breathe. Each thing thing came out his mouth continued to surprise you over and over.

"When I'm with her," Jean continues. "I understand why wolves howl at the moon. I understand why grass needs sunlight to grow. I understand why clouds take the form they do. When I'm with her, everything just... clicks together. The world makes sense."

You couldn't believe he was saying all of this out loud. Especially in front of your family members. He said the words so ruthlessly like he didn't care what would come of him after. He was letting it all out of the table.

"You do know there are severe consequences for this." Your father reminds him. "People get sentenced to death all over the world for mistakes like the one you made."

"I'm aware, your highness." Jean responds. "I'll take any punishment you deem necessary.

Your brain couldn't keep up with how fast your heart was going. Your mind was screaming at you to not do anything stupid and blow your cover. Your heart was telling you to run in there and say your piece.

"You seem oddly calm." Elijah points out.

You hear the faint sound of Jean chuckling. He waits a few seconds before he answers. "There's a quote by Mahmoud Darwish that goes, 'Speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life."

"I've heard of it." Elijah replies. Of course he has.

A pause. "I rather die than live a life without her." Jean says simply.

And just like that, your heart takes control of you and you burst through the doors. "Wait!" Everyone looks up and your father immediately stands up from his chair. "Guards."

Marco and Connie who were both guarding the door stand in front of you, blocking you from going any further. "

"You can't kill him!" You shout over their shoulders. "I won't let you!"

You try to push through the arms of Marco and Connie and you make it a few feet before they catch you and you fall to your knees in front of your family's judging eyes. "Please. If you kill him, you're going to have to kill me too."

Your mother rolls her eyes and stands up from her throne. "We aren't killing him. He's being banished."

"Oh." You slowly stand up from the ground. Well, that's embarrassing.

You make eye contact with Jean who was looking at you like you were crazy. You turn back to your parents. "I don't want him to get banished either. Eldia is his home! His life is here!"

Your father looks down on you. "The two of you should've thought of that before. If you would like to be treated as an adult, you must accept that there will be consequences to your actions."

You flick your eyes to your mother who had just said something similar in your room. She couldn't even look you in your face.

Your father steps down the last step and now stands in front of you. "You should be relived that's the punishment he's getting."

Suddenly, the doors behind you come open and you're grateful for an excuse to turn away from the intimidating glare your father bestows onto you.

Eren pokes his head through the door. "Your majesties. The king and queen from Cicily have arrived along with the prince."

"Thank you, Eren." Your mother smiles before she dismisses him. She walks down the steps and walks over to you. "If you were unsure of this marriage, you should've never agreed to it." Before she passes you up, she leans into you and says, "If you want to be an adult, tell him yourself."

She walks toward the doors and when she notices you not following behind her, she gives you the death stare. "Now."

You look back at the courtroom before you. Your father at the top of the platform, towering over everyone like a powerful dictator and your brothers off to the side judging the poor convict in the middle.

You try to look at Jean one last time but he never once meets your eyes. After that realization, you follow behind your mother and head the of o the main entrance of the castle.

"I didn't know they were coming today." You say as you walk beside your mother.

"I didn't either." She admits. "Looks like you came back right on time."

"Lucky me." You say bitterly.

You see the king and queen of Cicily along with Prince Phoenix waiting patiently at the doors. He is the first one to notice you both approaching. Your eyes meet and he smiles bashfully while waving.

You wave in return. Your mother leans into you. "I expect you to behave." She warns with a whisper.

You ignore her and walk faster down the steps, leaving her a few behind. "Your highnesses." You bow before the three guests.

For some reason, you didn't feel scared or nervous to see your fiancé. If anything, you felt a sense of relief when you did. He had a comforting presence that you definitely could use right now.

"Princess y/n," His mother smiles as she holds her arms out to you. "How is the lovely bride to be?"

You allow her to embrace you and you hug her in return. "I'm well. Thank you. How are all of you?"

The king of Cicily nods to you. "We've been wonderful."

Phoenix stands there, awaiting for you to get to him and when you do, you aren't really sure how to approach him. He doesn't seem to know either.

He eventually nods his head, respecting your space. "Princess."

Your mother finally makes it down the steps and greets all three of them. After a few minutes of small talk about the weather and the journey over here, your mother turns to you. "Y/n, why don't you go outside with Phoenix. I'm sure the two of you would like some time alone."

She then looks back at his parents. "As for you two, please make yourselves at home. Our chef is creating at this very moment an excellent meal. My personal favorite. We can all sit down and discuss the engagement party."

"Engagement party?" You interrupt.

She forces a smile but you could see the irritation in her eyes. "Well, of course! We need to celebrate."

"Why?" You continue to question regardless. "Isn't it too late for that? We did get engaged a whole month ago."

Her smile seems to grow even more scary. "Well we would've done it sooner had you not gone on your trip."

Phoenix chimes in. "Oh, you went on a trip? I would love to hear about it."

Doubtful.

"Oh, um.." You hesitate.

"Yes, y/n," Your mother continues. "Make sure you tell him all about it."

She then turns toward some staff members waiting by the hall. "Please take their belongings to their rooms." They do as their told and grab their luggage and haul them upstairs.

She then gestures toward another hallway. "I'll show you to the entertainment room, the king and I will be with you all in just a moment. There's just some matters we need to attend to at the moment."

They begin to head in the direction and before your mother disappears, she shoots a chilling look your way.

You sigh and link your arm with Phoenix's as you lead him in the opposite direction and toward the gardens. "Come on, let's go."

He looks at your annoyed expression. "I take it you two had a fight."

"Is it that obvious?" You ask.

He shrugs. "A little."

You hear the sound of a girl squealing behind you and it was approaching quickly. Before you can even turn your neck, the girl appears in front of you.

Hitch bounces up and down as she claps her hands back together. "You're back! How was Cicily? Oh, I bet it was so beautiful and romantic." She gushes.

You freeze. Now Phoenix was going to know that you lied to everyone and said you were going to Cicily to visit. How did you get out of this one?

"It was amazing." You lie and pray Phoenix doesn't catch it.

She turns to Phoenix. "They're in love with her already, aren't they?" She grins as she looks at you. "I told you you'd be the perfect fit!"

Phoenix looks confused for a second but plays along. "They were practically begging her not to leave."

"I can't believe she wanted to leave!" Hitch says. "I mean look at you, you're glowing!"

You chuckle and look away. "Heh, thank you. We should get going."

He's quick to notice your discomfort. "Right. We can't be late." He helps. "It was good seeing you again, Hitch."

Her eyes sparkle when she realizes he remembers her name. She curtsies. "My pleasure, your highness."

You knit your brows together as you watch her gush over him. You had seen enough of her pining over Jean, you didn't need this too. "Okay, let's go." You pull him in your direction.

When the two of you are alone, he says, "So you were in Cicily and I didn't know?"

"No." You sigh. You bring him to sit down beside you on a cement bench in the garden. "I guess I should just tell you because it'll eventually come out."

He teases you by raising his eyebrows in mock concern. "Should I be worried?"

"No!" You wave your hands. "Well, let's hope not." You try to get straight to the point. "I ran away."

"Ran away?" He repeats.

You nod. "Yes. I really was just... stressed and needed a vacation. You understand, right?"

"Of course." He responds with no judgement. "Were your parents furious?"

You look down at your feet and kick a small rock causing it to bounce a few feet away. "You have absolutely no idea but it was worth it."

"Ohhhhh," He says with amusement. "So she does have a bad side. Here I thought you were the princess who did no wrong."

You laugh. "Why do you seem like you like me more now?"

A gentle breeze floats through the air and brushes up against the two of you. Birds sing a background tune in the trees for you.

A small yellow butterfly lands on his knuckle. He looks down at it and smiles. "I suppose I just have a thing for women with courage, and I know it took a lot to disobey your parents and leave to a place you don't know without their permission."

You consider the compliment. "Courage and a little bit of stupidity."

"But it was worth it." He reminds you. "Didn't you say so?"

You smile. "I'll definitely remember it forever."

"Well," He scoots closer. "Where about did you travel to? Since you ran away, did you go alone or did you somehow manage to convince someone to go with you?"

You try to think your answers thoroughly. "Just to Marley." You say without giving too much away. "I've heard so many stories about the place, I had to see for myself."

You ignore his second question.

Phoenix doesn't even realize. "Ah, I've been before. It's astonishing. I actually am good friends with the prince of Marley. You should've told me you were thinking of going. I would've told him to arrange you and your guests in his castle."

"It was very last minute. I didn't have any of it planned." You explain. "I quite literally left in the middle of the night."

He pokes his bottom lip out as he nods, growing more and more impressed. "Spontaneous too. I love this new side of you."

You laugh. "I suggest you stop searching for more or you'll end up being bored of me by the time we get married."

"Oh, I'm sure that's not possible." He responds casually. He then looks relieved. "I suppose that explains why you didn't respond to my letters."

You pick up your head. "You wrote me letters? Plural?"

He seems embarrassed for a moment. "Just two. It'd be weird to marry someone and not speak to them until the wedding day so I just wanted to ease the transition."

"Wow," You raise your brows. "Here I was thinking my brother was the only man who actually wrote love letters."

He looks genuinely shocked. "Don't tell me you've never received a love letter."

"From princes I don't even know or I've only met once, sure." You clarify. "But not from someone I actually know. Until now, that is."

He looks proud of himself. "I'm honored to be the first." You feel a small pang to your chest when he says that. "Have you ever sent one?"

Your pride threatens to smack your across the face for saying the following. "I have."

"And? I'm sure they were thrilled, right?" The prince assumes.

You squirm in your seat with humiliation. "He, um, actually didn't respond to me. Well, he actually never even opened the letter if that helps anything." You pause. "Actually, that only makes it sound worse, doesn't it?"

He tries to hold in his laugh. "I'm sure he had a valid excuse."

You shove him playfully. "Hey, don't laugh! Younger me was really distraught by it."

He waves his hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry, I know it's not funny."

You roll your eyes as you shake your head down to the ground with a smile. You play with your heel against the gravel. "Have you ever been in love before? And don't say with me because we both know we're not there yet."

"Yet?" He looks amused. "I'll take it."

"I'm being serious! Have you?" You ask.

He thinks for a moment. "There was this one girl."

You scoot closer as you grow intrigued. "Yeah?"

He looks at you and snorts. "Well, she was the chef's daughter. He would bring her to work sometimes so I would see her often. We were childhood friends and she could do cartwheels all across the coast line for what felt like hours on end. She was always up and on the move."

"She sounds amazing." You say.

"She was in love with someone else." He admits.

"Oh." You fight the urge to laugh due to him catching you off guard.

He doesn't take offense, he even laughs at himself. "Go on, I laughed at you. You can laugh at me."

You fully laugh now, allowing yourself to loosen up. He continues. "She fell in love with a guy she went to school with. He was the son of a fisherman. He would help his father pull his boats onto the shore and she'd make me watch with her."

Suddenly, you no longer have the urge to laugh and he carries on. "I confessed my feelings to her when I started to notice she was gaining some for him. By then, it was already too late."

You feel your chest get heavier. "She still chose him."

He nods. You look up to the sky. "Hm, she chose a fisherman over a prince. I have to give it to her. Not many people would do such a thing."

He bumps his shoulder into yours. "At least you can say she wasn't in it for the money, right?"

You were amazed by the way he was handling it so eloquently. He smiled and laughed about it like it was nothing.

"Maybe she thought she never had a chance." You try. "I mean, you're a prince after all and we can only marry other royalty. She probably knew she'd only waste her time."

You didn't realize how bitter the words tasted in your mouth until after you were done saying them.

He considers it. "Maybe. She's married with two beautiful children now so seems she made the right choice."

"Oh wow." You say with surprise. You try to imagine your situation ending that way. You and Jean parting ways and seeing him years from now married and with two children. Maybe you'll be able to look back and laugh at it like Phoenix does. "I'm sorry I asked."

"Don't be." He waves off. "Love is a beautiful thing to talk about even when it doesn't always work out how you hoped. The memories are what make it worth something."

For the first time ever, you felt like Phoenix truly understood how you felt. You thought there wasn't anyone who knew how it felt to be in your position or who viewed love as something to be treasured. Yet, here was Phoenix, knowing exactly how to say the words you struggled to say.

The family dog, who mostly belonged to Kai, comes running and stands on its hind feet to get to Phoenix. The prince responds by petting the animal without hesitation.

"You know, if you needed a vacation, you could've came to Cicily." He mentions as Pascal licks his cheek.

"I ran away." You remind him. "I couldn't tell anyone where I was going and your parents would've told mine immediately."

He leans in closer. "I wouldn't have told them. They actually let me go out and do as I please. They wouldn't even know who I'd be out with."

"Harboring a fugitive? Looks like I'm not the one irresponsible one." You joke.

"It's the least I can do for my fiancé." He says casually.

The word catches you off guard. That's right. I'm a fiancé. It seemed to have slipped your mind for a moment. Or several.

"By the way," He points to your left hand. "I notice you're not wearing your ring."

You look down and instinctively cover your hand even though he obviously already saw. "I didn't
want to take it with me. I was scared to lose it or get it stolen so I left it here and well, it's my first day back."

"Today is your first day back?" He asks. "That explains the tension between you and your mother."

You brush Pascal's thick coat with your fingers and the animal wags his tail with content. "She's not my biggest fan at the moment."

He watches as the dog snuggles up to you. "They're allowed to not like us sometimes. Just like we aren't always the biggest fans of them either."

You now understood why you felt such a relief when you first saw him again. He was incredibly easy to talk to that you almost forgot all the shit that was happening just inside the castle. He was the perfect distraction from it all.

You found yourself trying to think optimistically. If things were to go to shit, which they pretty much already are, would it be so bad if you and Jean went your separate ways?

Jean could be happily married and with kids like he's always wanted and you'd be married to a prince who was genuinely good company to keep and not to mention easy on the eye.

"So," You try to get more out of him. "You're allowed to do whatever you want?"

He tilts his head as he considers his answer. "Not exactly whatever but most things, yes. I definitely have a lot more freedom than you do, that's for sure."

"Do you stay out late?" You ask.

"Sometimes."

"Do you travel?"

"When I have the time."

"Do you bathe alone?"

He cackles. "What? Of course I do."

You realize how stupid the question sounded. "Do you think that means when we get married and I move there, I'll have the same freedom?"

"I don't see why not." He answers. "Until my parents die, we don't have the same responsibilities as a king and queen would."

You grow excited. "And your parents are in great health."

He leans back, head toward the clouds that drift by. "They are so that means we can just relax in the meantime. It'll be fun." He reassures.

You couldn't deny it didn't sound fun. You could travel in broad daylight and could spend your days doing what you loved. You could ask Phoenix to follow you around the world and it wouldn't be running away or hiding because you'd have permission. It sounded like a dream.

As happy as you could feel yourself grow as you think about the future, you realize that it may be a life you yearn for, but there was one thing missing.

And you see him right then and there. From a line of open windows, you see Jean walking with his head down with Commander Erwin and Levi walking closely behind him.

Suddenly, the whole giddy optimistic feeling you had was gone like it never existed in the first place. The moment you see Jean and the grimness surrounding him, your heart breaks all over again.

You quickly stand up from the bench. "If you'll excuse me, I better get going. I have a lot to do since I, you know, have been missing for a month."

He stands up too. "Right. I'll see you tomorrow morning then."

You had completely forgotten he and his family were staying here for a few days. "I look forward to it." You do the most rushed curtsy ever and take off running in the direction of the castle without saying another word.

You run and run as fast as you can. You can hear your dress flow in the wind. The fabric tangles up in between your legs making it harder to run. It was like the wind was trying to hold you back.

As you approach the bottom chambers, you can feel yourself run out of breath but you keep on pushing.

When you make it there, you see Erwin and Levi closing the gates to the dungeon and locking it shut.

"Wait!" You stop in front of them.

Erwin steps in front of the door. "I'm sorry, Princess but we can't let you past here."

You stand on your tip toes to look over him. "They're locking him up? For how long?"

"You should be lucky that's all they're doing." Levi reminds you.

You glare at him and then back at Erwin. "Please, just let me just talk to him."

He denies your request. "I can't do that. We're under very specific orders to not let anyone, especially you, pass through."

"I thought they were letting him go. Why is he in the dungeon?" You press.

"He will get released tomorrow night." Levi says.

You could feel rage fill you up inside. "Tomorrow night?! They're going to make him sleep in there and spend the entire day in there alone?"

They both just stare at you without a word. What could they say? You're right, princess. We'll let him go. There was no point in arguing with them, they don't make the decisions. Your parents do.

"Forget it." You say to their expressionless faces. You turn around and walk down the hall and begin to search every single room for your parents.

For whatever reason, you have no luck finding them. You practically stomp down the hall back to your room when you finally give up on looking for them.

Around the corner, you see Kai walking in your direction. You tilt your head away from him as he gets closer. "Don't speak to me."

He stops once you pass him up. "Hey, don't blame me for your problems."

"Fuck you!" You scream so loud that it echos through the empty hall. You normally would never, ever shout such a explicit remark but considering the situation, you were allowed to be a little frustrated.

Kai stands there, eyes slowly blinking as he tries to process the statement once the ringing in his ears stop. "Oh, wow."

You try to walk away from him but he runs to catch up to you. "You truly think I have no reason to be upset with you?" He asks.

You stop. "Be upset if you want! I never once said none of you couldn't be! You're allowed to feel however you're feeling but this?" You point in the direction of the dungeon. "Locking him up in a dungeon where we place murderers, thieves, actual criminals?! You can not convince that it is okay."

"You're the reason he's in there." Kai states, his irritation also starting to get the best of him as his voice picks up slight attitude.

You groan with frustration. "I know! I can't blame anyone but myself and I know we should get punished some way, some how but not like this! It's cruel and he doesn't deserve it."

He finally snaps. "This is your fault! You could've chose anyone! Anyone! And yet, you picked him. The one person that I can truly call my bestfriend and now I'm never going to see him again."

He pokes a finger at your chest. "Because of you."

You smack his hand away. "Will you stop acting like I chose him just to piss everyone off? You don't choose who you love! And yes, I do love him and I really wish everyone wouldn't act so surprised that I'm in love with someone who was the first person in my entire life to ever be kind to me for free."

Kai goes silent. You don't. "Not because he was paid to, not because I was a princess, but because he wanted to from the bottom of his heart."

His eyes look away from yours. He knew what was coming next and he couldn't bear to look you in your face as you said it.

"He was there for me when not even you three were." You remind him. "When you three ran from me and spread those rumors that I was contiagious and no one on the staff wanted to come near me."

Weight falls off your shoulders. "Jean did. Even when he believed in the rumor, he still touched my hand to pick me up from the ground. He didn't care if he got sick or caught whatever it was I had, he just wanted to help me."

These were things you had always known but somehow, saying it all out loud just made it so much more prominent in your heart.

"The same kindness all of you praise me for having," You say, "He was the first person to ever show it to me. I grew up admiring him and thinking to myself, I want to be just a kind as he is."

He finally looks at you, his face still the same but a slight glisten in his eyes. You step forward. "I know you all think he's conceited and arrogant but that's not who he is really. I see him for what he truly is."

He finally speaks. "You think I don't? Why do you think I call him my best friend? I know what kind of person he is."

You throw your arm back toward the direction in which the man of the hour currently resides in a cell. "So then you should know he doesn't deserve to be in there!"

"What do you expect me to do, y/n?" He asks. "You think I have any say over our parents?"

"No, but if all four of us talk to them, I know for a fact we can convince them." You say.

"And how do you expect for all four of us to work together?" He questions with doubt.

You lower your voice. "It'll be a lot easier to convince Ambrose and Elijah if you're there with me."

He looks away, not fully convinced. "I don't know."

"Kai," You whine. "Please help me fix this. This isn't right. I'm sorry this is happening and I know you guys are pissed that you're losing him again for the second time because of me. I'm sorry!"

You cup your hands together. "But please, help me make it right. We just need to convince them to let him stay in Eldia. I'll get married, I'll leave. I won't be in the way anymore. I don't care what I have to do."

Your heart sinks. "Our punishment will just be to live a life without each other. I won't talk to him or see him ever again if they just let him stay here and keep his life the way it is. Whatever it takes, I'll do it."

He looks at you with sad puppy dog eyes. His whole effort to be angry with you was failing completely. His heart was hurting for you.

"I'll try to talk to Elijah." He gives in finally. "I'm not even going to bother with Ambrose, you can handle that yourself."

You feel a small amount of the heavy weight on your shoulders get lifted. "Or we can let Elijah do it after you convince him." You wiggle them.

Your brother rubs at his forehead. "No promises. You know Elijah likes to go straight by the book."

"Not always." You smile as you recall the fact he knowingly let you leave the night you ran away instead of stopping you. "Just try."

Kai sighs. "Alright." Before you can talk his ear off some more, he walks in the opposite direction.

Now you just needed to wait. Time, however, seemed to not be on your side lately.

You debate on sleeping it off. By the time you wake up, it'll be a new day. Maybe the rest of your family just needed to sleep off their emotions as well. You hoped they'd wake up and realize how harsh they were being.

You weren't too sure how high of a possibility that'd be but the slight gleam of hope kept you moving forward.

You finally make it back to your room without any interruptions and when you open the door, you see Mikasa hanging up the clothes she just finished washing for you. "There you are." She says.

You close the door behind you. "Did you hear the news?"

She nods her head. "Eren told me."

You throw yourself onto the bed."They won't even let me see him. They're just going to send him off without being able to say goodbye."

You watch as she hangs up the dress you wore when Jean found you and you asked him to follow you. The day was still so freshly vivid in your mind.

"Maybe one of us can rely the message to him." She suggests.

You sit up on the bed. "You don't get it. The last time I even had a conversation with Jean, it didn't go well. We were in his backyard and he was saying the most beautiful things and saying he loved me and I just..." You recall the painful memory. "Stood there like an idiot."

You place your face in your palms. "I didn't even say it back."

"Well, he knows you love him, right? You've told him before." She closes your closet shut.

"Yes, when I was a child in a letter that he never opened until years later." You throw your hands loudly unto your lap. "I haven't actually said it out loud to him since then."

She leans her back against the closet door. "Why not?"

"I don't know." You say. "Maybe I'm scared. Maybe I don't want say it because it'll only hurt more when we can't be together."

She looks down at the ground. "I truly wish there was something I could do."

"Likewise." You sigh as you try to ignore the feeling of complete hopelessness.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. You look at Mikasa and shake your head. "I don't want to talk to anyone."

"It's me, Elijah." The voice behind the door says. Mikasa looks back at you for the answer. You cross your arms over your chest as a metaphorical barrier. You nod toward Mikasa to signal it's okay to let him in.

Elijah slowly pokes his head through with caution. He smiles at Mikasa. "Lady Mikasa, will you excuse us?"

She nods and sends you a quick look that read if anyone could do anything for you, it's him before she leaves the two of you be. Elijah closes the door behind her and takes a seat at the edge of your bed.

"If you're here to criticize me some more," You warn him. "Save it. I'm not in the mood."

He chuckles. "When is anyone in the mood to be criticized?"

You don't take part in his jokes. "Is there a reason for your visit? If not, I much rather be alone."

His light hearted aura wavers. His attempt at lightening the mood obviously wasn't working. "Why are you upset with me? I'm not the one doing the sentencing."

You dig your nails into your arm. "You could've said something! You know mom and dad value your opinion more than anyone else."

He leans forward and looks you dead in the eye. "Who the hell do you think got them to minimize the sentence in the first place?"

And just like that, your attitude gets put into place. You should've known it was Elijah who talked them into doing a less harsh punishment.

You uncross your arms, letting your aggressive guard down but the vulnerability still lingers as you bring your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around your legs. "They were going to kill him, weren't they?"

He shifts his body slightly, preparing himself for this particular conversation. "Dad wanted to at first. He was furious and just acting off emotion. He knew Jean lied about not finding you and that he wasn't bringing you home on purpose. The sleeping with you part just threw him off the edge."

"And what did mom say?" You wonder.

He looks around at your room, eyes wandering. "She was for it at first and honestly, if it were anyone else, she would've said yes; but she's always had a soft spot for Jean so she felt it was too harsh."

You raise your eyebrows. "Hm. Who would've thought."

"She had suggested prison and dad said he'd accept it as long as it meant he'd be imprisoned for life." Elijah explains. "You know he doesn't make exceptions for anyone. He wanted to treat Jean as if he were anyone else."

You could feel yourself internally cringe at the thought of him facing such a punishment over something you practically forced him into. The idea of him rotting in a jail cell made you sick to your stomach with guilt. It would be such a waste of a young life and his potential.

He continues to look around the room as if he's searching for something. "And it's like you said, they value my opinion so they asked me what they thought would be best. I told them that they were being a little extreme."

"A little?" You scoff. "And what the hell are you looking for?"

He looks at you finally. "You don't smell that?"

You take a whiff at your surroundings. "Smell what?"

He pauses for a moment as he tries to put the smell into words. "Like something is burning."

You look around. "Maybe the candles? Or maybe they're making a fire outside, I don't know."

He seems unsatisfied with that response. "This is different. It smells almost... chemically."

You shrug it off. "If you don't know, I have much less chance of knowing." You then pause for a brief moment. Could it be that your temperament was causing something to burn? You had no idea how far the abilities of your powers could go.

"Actually..." You unwrap your arms from your legs and look down at your hands. You squeeze them into fists and then release them. "Maybe it's me."

He doesn't even question it. Instead, he smiles. "It's about time. I'm assuming you found out what you needed to about your powers."

You sit up straight. "Wait. You knew? You knew I could control stuff around me?"

He laughs. "I had a theory, yes. I'm a very observant person as you know already. When you're sad, it rains. When you're happy, the sun shines and the earth looks more saturated than ever. When you're angry, thunder brews in the sky. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together."

You felt a sense of relief wash over you. It felt good to be able to talk about something that seemed so taboo. "Of course."

He leans in closer, his body language growing excited with intrigue. "So it's true then. You really can do it."

You can't help but to smile just a little. "It is." Excitement then overcomes you. "Eli, you will not believe the things I found out. I mean, the things in that book... they're insane."

His curiosity only grows. "What book?"

You lean in closer so that you can speak clearly while keeping a hushed tone. Even though the door was shut, you never know who is lurking behind it. "There's an entire book about it. The Sol Celestite."

"The Sol Celestite?" He repeats. "I don't think I've heard of such a thing."

You adjust your dress over your legs. "And for good reason. The book is heavily guarded by the biggest guards I've quite frankly ever seen and the door can only be opened by a key that the queen, who is just as equally protected, wears around her neck."

He nods, impressed. "And you somehow managed to get her to show you. How?"

You look up at the roof. "I didn't even have to try. She said it was my birthright to know. She actually was almost relived to show it to me."

"Hm." His mind begins to turn. "And? What did the book say?"

You begin to tell him everything, cover to cover. You start with the origin story and continue with the extensive list of people who held the gift before you. He takes all the information in effortlessly.

"So it all comes down to something as simple as a flower." He leans back. "It somehow makes plenty sense but at the same time, not at all."

You leave the best part for last. "That's not all. At the end of the book, there's a portrait of a woman. The girl who first found the flower. The first ever holder of the power."

You could feel adrenaline begin to pump through you. "She looked so much like mom. It was scary. She's from our bloodline. The flower was supposed to belong to us before they stole it. Historia thinks this was meant to be. She firmly believes it was always meant to come back to me."

You await for him to say something but all he does is smile. You grow impatient. "What?"

"I always knew you were special." He says.

Your anxious demeanor falls back. You could feel a subtle warmth all over your chest. A light, fuzzy feeling. It was the feeling of appreciation. The feeling of acknowledgment.

The person you idolized for years was here in front of you, telling you to your face that you were special. That he always knew you were. It was praise from one of the people you've always wanted it from the most.

Elijah, who was so effortlessly intelligent and perfect at everything. The poster child for the son every man wanted to have. Strong, noble, smart, quick. The person you envied for being everything you weren't. Here he was, praising you instead.

"There's four different kinds of people in this world." He says as he holds a finger in the air. "There's the person who meets every requirement perfectly and sets the standard. They go straight by the book. That happens to be me."

He holds up another finger besides the first. "Then there's the person who exceeds and surpasses everyone in everything. They bend the rules to match their greatness. That's Ambrose."

Three fingers now. "Then there's the person who breaks the rules. Chooses to stray from the typical and invokes a change. That's none other than Malakai."

He then sets his hand down. "And finally, there's the person who does not meet the rules nor exceed them. She does not break them either but instead is the one to rewrite them and revolutionize the way the world works."

"And that's you." He adds. "You are what this world needs in order to change. A world without constant change and improvement is not one I wish to be apart of. We need to move forward, not remain in place."

You were in awe of his words that it feels you can't form any of your own. "What are you saying?"

"I can be the standard and I'll live my life the way our parents want to so that you three can live the way you want." He says so easily like he wasn't making one of the biggest sacrifices in the world.

He keeps going. "If I get married and provide a suitable aire, they won't pressure any of you to conform. They'll be satisfied with what they have."

"Eli."

It's as if he doesn't hear you. "Ambrose isn't looking to take any one serious for years now, Kai is playing the long game because he's terrified to grow up and you, you'll be able to marry whoever you please."

The next words seem to imprint onto your heart for what feels like eternity. "As long as I'm alive, you won't have to worry. I'll carry your burdens as mine so you can live freely."

"No," You resist the urge to cry. "I can't put that on you."

You knew he was capable of doing it. It was honestly a solid plan and the probability of it working was likely but still, how could you ask him of that?

You had always known Elijah was the one who would truly do anything and everything for his family. Even when it didn't seem like it, he always had good intentions. You see that now.

"There has to be another way." You fumble through theories in your head. "When I left, everything went to shit, right? The weather, the land, the food."

You begin to fall down a rabbit hole. "Maybe I need to stay here. Maybe I am meant to always stay here and that's why I feel so strongly about Eldia. If they see that, they'll have to let me stay so the kingdom can continue to thrive. I can't get married to a prince far away so they'll be fine with me staying and marrying Jean."

He wastes no time shutting down your hypothesis. "It didn't happen because you left. It happened because of the way you left it. Before you left, you were sad. Devastated. You felt alone and empty. What best way to describe that feeling than with a snow storm?"

You realize how correct he is. "That's why when I came back it all started melting because I was back to fix it."

You toss your body back on the bed and shut your eyes. "That makes much more sense."

"What would you do without me?" He lays back too.

"Promise me I'll never find out?" You tilt your face to see him.

He smiles. "So? What do you wish to do?"

You turn away and look up at the roof. "I've attempted to plead my case and so has Jean. No matter what we say, it goes one ear out the other."

Elijah stands up and looks at the window beside him. The sky was already a navy color and stars slowly begin to unveil their halos. "Tomorrow is a new day. We'll try again."

He turns to you and pats your head as you sit up. "And don't worry about Ambrose. You know if there's ever a plan he's not part of, he'll feel left out and want to join."

You laugh. "You're right. He hates not being included. He'll have to give in eventually."

"Goodnight." He says as he proceeds to the door. "Try to get some sleep. You'll need all the energy, both mentally and physically, to fight tomorrow."

"Goodnight." You smile. As he's half way out the door, you stop him. "Eli?"

He pokes his head back in. "Yes?"

"You deserve the life you want too."

He smiles and closes the door behind him. A few moments later, Mikasa walks in and shuts the door as quickly as possible behind her. "So?" She whispers. "What happened?"

You pin your hair up and out of the way as you move all the pillows from your bed. "I think we might win."

"Win what?"

"I can't talk right now." You say as you crawl under your bedsheets. "Got to sleep. Big day tomorrow."

She looks down at the ground where you tossed all the decorative pillows. "It's barely 8pm. You haven't ate dinner or even bathed."

You flip to the other side to look at her. "Do you mind blowing those candles out?"

She looked completely and utterly confused. "Um, okay..." She blows each candle out one by one. Before she leaves you be for the night, she hesitates at the door. "Should I be worried?"

"Shhhh." You answer.

She sighs and shakes her head. "I'll worry about it tomorrow." She shuts the door behind her.