Jean was rudely awaken by the sound of someone knocking frantically at his door. He groans and turns the opposite direction in bed, his pillow covering his cold ears. "Mm, why am I always getting woken up like this?" He groans.

He sits up in bed and rubs his eyes so hard that he sees stars for a second. The knocking doesn't cease so he drags his feet over to the door and when he opens it, Mikasa stands there looking deathly pale. "Mikasa? Is everything okay?"

She looks around the hall quickly before she pushes him back into his room and shuts the door behind him. "Did you drink the tea last night?"

He frowns for a moment. His still groggy brain couldn't recall what she was referring to.

And then it hits him. You handed him tea last night right when he was trying to talk to you about the letters. He couldn't really remember much after that.

"Yeah. I guess it knocked me out." He says scratching his head. Was it because he was still half asleep that he couldn't remember how the conversation afterwards went?

Mikasa shakes her head slowly. "You don't know, do you? You didn't catch on to her."

He looks around his room and tries to remember how he even got here. Is this where he talked about the letters with you? "What?"

"She's gone." Mikasa explains. "She gave you and everyone else that tea to put them to sleep so she could leave without anyone stopping her."

Jean's confused face drops flat. He even takes a few steps backwards. "She..." He laughs a little. "There's no way."

Mikasa stares at him, her face as serious as he's ever seen it. She clearly wasn't joking.

Panic began to set in. Why couldn't he remember anything? Did you really run away and where did you go?

"She has to be here somewhere." He tried to convince himself. "There's no way she just left. It's not possible, there's guards in every corner and I was watching her. I—"

His hand lays flat on his forehead as he moves messy, morning hair out of his face. "I was watching her. I had just saw her. She was in the kitchen and..."

It began to all slowly come back to him. He had ran home to find the letters and wasted hours trying to look for them inside the house when they were buried in his backyard the entire time.

Once he found them and finished reading them, he ran back to the castle as quickly as he could. He recalled noticing how eerily quiet everything was and how strangely still the night was. He didn't pay much attention to any of it because he was purely focused on finding you. He thought maybe he couldn't hear anything because of how hard his heart was beating.

When he found you, you were exiting the kitchen with a single mug in between your hands. You smiled when your eyes met his and you claimed to have been looking for him just as he was looking for you.

He held up the letters to you to showcase he had finally found them and he could recall the way your eyes stretched in horror and how the life drained from your face.

Before he could say much, you held the mug out to him, claiming you made him whatever was in it. The way you looked at him, almost pleadingly, made him take the drink right away. He didn't think twice about it for some reason. He was appreciative of the fact you thought of him. He didn't even bother to ask what it was.

He remembers walking to his room with you beside him. He can recall you trying to comfort his anxiousness by saying no one was going to see you go into his room alone with him.

He now understood what you meant. You had put everyone else to sleep. That's why it was so quiet. That's why there was no one else around.

He was the last one.

Lastly, he remembers arguing with you on who should read the letters out loud. You claimed he should since he wanted to discuss them so badly but he claimed the opposite.

After that, everything was hazy. He couldn't remember who read them or if they were even read out loud at all.

He had fallen asleep. He didn't know how soon after but he knew he did. How else would he have ended up in bed?

Mikasa stared at him as he tried to process everything. She seemed agitated that he hadn't figured out from the beginning like she did. "No one has noticed she's gone yet. I think her parents are still asleep."

Jean had begun to pace his room. "She's so stupid! Why would she go out there on her own?!"

Mikasa doesn't say anything. He found it weird that she wasn't freaking out like he was. She was much more calm in comparison to him but he could still see how tense her body was.

"We have to figure out what we're going to do." Jean says pulling clothes out from the dresser to change into. "We have to go find her!"

He groans as he approaches the bathroom. "I'm going to lose my job." He then suddenly stops. "Oh my god, I'm going to lose my fucking life!" He panics.

She steps forward, defensively. "If she left, she obviously doesn't want to be found! Also, we don't even know where she went! Do you understand how long it'll take to find her?"

He stares at her like she just said the most absurd thing. Out of everyone, he expected Mikasa to freak out the most when it came to something like this. He can't deny that he has imagined this happening before and he definitely didn't expect him to be the only one panicking.

Jean steps forward with his arms out. "She didn't say anything to you about where she was going?!"

Mikasa shakes her head. "No."

He tightens his grip on the bunched up clothing in his arms. "I don't understand. If you caught on early to what she was doing, why didn't you stop her?!"

"It was already too late!" She fights back. "I had already drank from tea when I realized. Even if I hadn't, I would've still let her go."

His jaw practically falls onto the floor. "You would've...What the hell are you talking about?! Are you insane?!"

Before Mikasa can respond, there's a knock on the door. The two both freeze up and stare right at eachother.

Mikasa breaks away first by tilting her head in that direction. "Go on. Answer it."

"Why me?!" He whispers angrily.

She points at the door. "It's your room!"

The person on the other side of the door grows impatient and opens the door without a response anyway. Elijah then slips through the door, closing it behind him. "Oh, you're both here. Good. Two birds with one stone."

He too was oddly calm. Did he not know yet?

"My parents want to speak to both of you." He claims. Well, that answers that.

Okay, they definitely know. But again, why was everyone so calm? He expected the castle to be lit up in flames or something.

"I'm assuming you two both drank the tea." Elijah says casually.

Jean, not so casually, yells in response. "She gave it to you too?!"

The soon to be king rests his back up against the door with his arms crossed. "She gave it to the entire castle, our family, the staff, even the bordering homes surrounding the castle. She's
smart. She knew if any of them saw her leaving, they would report to the castle so she put them to sleep too."

Jean could feel his blood pressure rise as well as the painful heaving of his chest. He honestly felt like he was having an anxiety attack. It felt like he was still asleep and this was some all too realistic nightmare.

He looks at the two other people in the room to see if they're having as much trouble breathing as he is but they seemed perfectly fine.

Mikasa was twisting the pendant of her necklace side to side anxiously but maintained a still exterior. She was hiding it well on the outside but he could tell she was panicking on the inside.

He then looks at Elijah whose face was as hard to read as usual. He looked exactly how he always looked as if his little sister wasn't missing.

"Why aren't you more pissed right now?!" Jean shouts. The fact that neither of them seemed focused on finding you struck a nerve in him he didn't even realize he had.

"Because I let her go." He states simply and straight to the point.

"WHAT?!"

Elijah gives an irritated look as he listens to Jean get louder and louder. "I figured out what she was doing while I was drinking the tea. It was 
of course, too late by then to stop her. Even then, I don't think I'd even want to."

Jean's mouth drops open again. This had to be a dream. There was no way this was actually happening. It all seemed too hard to believe.

He couldn't believe you managed to run away all on your own and he couldn't believe your brother, your oldest one, was okay with it. In fact, he practically held the door open for you.

"I knew too." Mikasa joins in.

"WHAT?!" He yells again.

She looked more remorseful compared to Elijah, like she was actually ashamed of her actions unlike him. "I realized it mid way too. She started
packing her stuff as soon as I took the first sip."

It seemed like the situation was getting even harder to believe. Especially when he knows how protective Mikasa is of you. "And you just let her walk away?" He snaps at her.

She snaps back at him. "What was I supposed to do? Tie her down and force her to stay?"

She points a finger at him. "You out of anyone should know trapping her in is the worst thing you can do. You saw her grow up. She was locked
in her room forever and would always manage to find a way out whether they doubled security or put an extra lock. She always found her way out."

It was true. He saw first hand that no matter how hard they tried to keep you in one place, it was almost impossible. You always found a way out.

"She was going to leave anyway. The best thing to do is support her and make her feel confident in her decision so she has even more will to survive out there." Mikasa finishes.

Although he could see how her thought process made sense, he still thought it was incredibly stupid on both sides.

"I don't understand how you guys are okay with this! She could die out there! She could get kidnapped! She's an important person! A wanted person in case you forgot! She's out there alone with no one to protect her." Jean argues.

The last comment sparked a flash in Mikasa's eyes. "She's not some fragile little girl, you know? She knows how to defend herself."

Jean was steadily growing more frustrated. "I'm not saying she's weak. I know she's strong, I know she's smart. But that doesn't mean she has to do it all alone."

She seemed to be growing more frustrated as well. "What are you suggesting we do? Chase after her? She didn't ask for any of our help."

He throws his arms out. "Who cares if she didn't ask for our help! She's going to need it! She's never been out there before. I know she's like a genius and will figure it out but still! She's alone! We have to find her before her parents realize she's gone."

"They already know." Elijah finally speaks after being silent while Jean and Mikasa argued back and forth.

Jean turns to him. Elijah finally peels his back away from the door and reaches for the doorknob. "That's why they told me to call both of you. She left a letter on their bed."

Jean was in complete and utter shock on why the castle wasn't going haywire and bursting into resilient flames. This had to be a dream. It really did feel like one.

Elijah opens the door and nods his head in the direction of the hallway. "Come on."

Just as quick as he says it, he's halfway down the hall already. Mikasa follows silently behind him while Jean stands there baffled.

Once he snaps awake and follows them down the hall, he takes in every bit of his surroundings.

Everything was normal.

The kitchen staff was concentrated on preparing the wedding menu as they had been. All other staff was doing their own tasks and individual responsibilities. Like nothing.

He watches as everyone goes about their daily lives completely oblivious. It felt like any other day. Like Jean was supposed to meet you outside your bedroom to take you to class and start your day like he always does.

But you weren't here. At least, that's what the two people walking in front of him supposedly claimed.

But by the way they were walking so calmly and casually and the way everyone else was so unfazed, he knew it wasn't true. He refused to believe that this would be the castle's reaction to the fucking princess vanishing into thin air. He especially didn't expect this reaction from your eldest brother and your bestfriend.

He knew it was a dream at that point. The real Mikasa would practically lose her mind if she found out you were missing and Elijah would be furious and order every guard to bring your ass back home.

He was fully convinced none of this was real until he enters the king's chambers and then suddenly, everything became excruciatingly vivid.

Your mother was seated on the bed with her face in her hands and crying. Your father, the king himself, was standing by the window, looking out the glass and his hand stroking his beard in deep thought.

Kai and Ambrose were standing off to the side. Kai looked half asleep still or atleast was pretending to be and Ambrose looked irritated. His foot was rapidly tapping on the floor beneath him like he was growing impatient.

Okay, maybe this isn't a dream.

It all began to hit him. All at once and hard. His heart was pounding and it felt like someone was turning a dial inside him causing his entire body to heat up.

Ambrose's habit of chewing on his nails when he's nervous seemed to have stuck even throughout the years. "Took you long enough."

"Stop eating your hand and then speak to me." Elijah scoffs as he walks past him.

The king tears his head away from the window when he hears the sound of his eldest son's voice and sees he succeeded in retrieving Jean and Mikasa like he asked.

He walks over to the bed his crying wife sits on and grabs what seems to be a letter. He then hands it to both Jean and Mikasa. "Did you know about this?"

The frantic beating of his heart impossibly seemed to burst at an even quicker pace. He takes the page and holds it where he and Mikasa can both read it at the same time.

He immediately knew what it was. If what they were saying was true and you really did practically drug the entire castle, this was your goodbye letter.

He could recognize the loop on your Y's and the way you dot your I's the second his eyes met the page in front of him.

Dear Mom and Dad,
When the sun rises, I'll be long gone.

And before you panic, which I know is inevitable... I'll be back, I promise. I know you think this is stupid and if I'm honest, I don't blame you.

But if the roles were reversed and it was you that ran away, I wouldn't blame you for that either.

I haven't been happy the past couple days and I'm not sure if anyone really noticed that. Actually, I haven't been happy for a very long time. I don't think anyone really noticed that either.

To be fair, I hide it well. Another thing I can add to the list of things I can't blame you for.

For the many ways I find reasons not to blame you, I hope you can do the same for me and understand why I wanted to do this. Well, more like I needed to do this.

How can I dedicate my entire life to one person when I have no idea how to live one by myself? All my life I've had someone attached to my hip. I need to detach and learn things at my own pace and my own way.

I know this isn't fair to any of you. I know this will probably make everyone else's life harder. I get that.

But it isn't fair to me either. It took me a while to see that. Why should I be the only person to make sacrifices all the time?

I want you to know I mean what I promise. I will come back. Two months is all I ask for and I'll be back before the wedding. I'll make sure everyone wins in the end.

I also want you to know that no one is to blame for this. I made this decision myself and no one helped me. None of my brothers had any part nor did Mikasa or Jean. I am 100% responsible.

Mom, I'm sorry for the migraine ahead of time. Dad, I'm sorry for disappointing.

P.S.
Sending a whole bunch of guards after me doesn't sound like a good idea if you don't want to attract attention. I wouldn't recommended personally.

Love always, y/n
see you soon. ♡
(please don't be too mad)

And that was the end. A one page letter on why you decided to just up and leave without saying anything at all.

The voice in his mind kept wishing this was a dream just how he originally thought it was. Even with the letter in his hand as proof, the moment still felt unbelievable.

He didn't even want to look up from the page. He couldn't do it. Not with your father just standing there in front of him and staring right into his soul.

"I didn't know about it." Mikasa says handing him the page. Jean stares at her for a second but then looks at the king. "I didn't know either."

"How did this happen? You two are always with her." The king tries to keep his composure but his temper was seeping through his exterior.

Jean stands up taller, forgetting that he's actually in so much fucking trouble. "I ran home to get something. I was with her before I left but Hitch grabbed her and took her to go try wedding dresses on."

When he says the words wedding dresses, he feels even more sick to his stomach than he was already feeling.

"After she left with Hitch, I ran home to grab something I needed and took a while to find it but I came straight back when I did." He finishes.

The king looks at the queen who was seated up again, her eyes swollen and puffy. "Hitch? Where is she right now?"

Jean speaks up. "Uh—I do want to mention that before she disappeared, she wasn't with Hitch anymore so I don't think she was necessarily involved in her disappearance."

Ambrose scoffs. "You seem to be quick to defend her."

Jean snaps his head in that direction, completely forgetting he was there for a moment. "It's the truth. When I came back she was alone in the kitchen, Hitch was nowhere in sight."

"That's when she handed you the tea. Isn't it?" The queen asks from across the room. She stands up with her arms crossed over her chest for comfort. She was still in her night gown.

Jean nods. "Yes. She handed me the tea and I drank it. That's all I can remember."

"You didn't question what it was?" Ambrose interrogates.

"Did you?" Jean questions in return.

He steps forward. "I did actually. She lied to me."

"At the end of the day, we all fell for it." Elijah puts an end to the argument, already annoyed of it. "If we hadn't, we wouldn't be in the situation we're in right now."

The queen rubs frustratingly at the tears that escape her eyes. "I just don't understand how this could've happened. I mean, how is it possible not a single person turned down that cup of tea?"

"Don't act like you don't know our daughter." The king reminds her. "She has a way of making people not want to say no to her."

The queen throws up her arms defeated. "I know that! You think I don't know my own daughter?" She holds up the paper. "This doesn't surprise me at all."

"Then why are you saying you don't understand how it happened?" Kai asks plainly.

The queen gives him the most terrifying look and the boys shrinks. "Sorry."

The king stands in front of the three boys and all three of them instinctively straighten their backs. "You're telling me not a single one of you knew what she was up to?"

If Jean didn't already know the answer, he would've beat money on Kai being the one who knew. But surprisingly, it was Elijah who knew.

Honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if Kai did know as well.

It was hard to tell with Kai. He was cool, calm and collected in any situation so Jean couldn't really imagine how Kai would act if he truly didn't know you were leaving.

Kai was currently sat at his father's desk and his elbow was on the surface so he can hold up his head. He didn't seem panicked at all. But again, he never was type to show when he was scared.

Jean realized that's something you got from Kai. Hiding your emotions behind a mask. Actually, all four of you did it.

"I didn't know about it. She handed me tea and said it'd help me sleep so I drank from it. I was fast asleep right after." Kai testifies.

Jean tried to watch his body language for any sign of him lying but there was nothing. Maybe he really didn't know about it and what he was saying really was true.

"I didn't know either." Elijah lies. "I would've stopped her if I did and I think we all know this."

Jean's jaw almost felt like it came unattached as his mouth dropped open at his friend's impressive manipulation skills.

Ambrose takes his thumbnail away from his chattering teeth. "I clearly didn't know either!"

The king slides his hand down his face as he takes a deep breath and paces the room. "I'm having an extremely hard time believing none of you had even the slightest clue."

He stops pacing and looks at Elijah. "Especially you. The smartest yet you let her outwit you once again."

"I don't think we should be calling anyone stupid." Kai steps into the conversation from where he sits. "We all fell for it, not just Eli. Even you and mom did too."

Jean saw his own life flash before his eyes and he wasn't even the one who said that. He knew Kai always back talked as a child but he hadn't heard him do it in a while.

"I don't need you to defend me." Elijah raises his voice.

"Oh shut up." Kai snips at his brother before turning to his parents. "We'll find her. There's no need to waste time playing the blame game."

The queen, who was already boiling inside with rage from her son's attitude, turns to him. "How?! She knew we wouldn't send a search party to go find her because it's the only way to avoid causing any chaos and alerting the traitors. She knew we'd come up with an excuse to cover up her disappearance. That's why she did it."

She exhaustingly sits on her bed. "She's too smart for her own good."

"How do we know the traitor is not in this room?" Ambrose asks suddenly.

The entire room seems to go quiet as everyone turns to him, the spotlight shining over him and his abrupt accusation.

Even with all the eyes on him, he keeps his serious expression. "You're making this plan so the traitor doesn't think she's missing and saying everyone in this room is trustworthy but how do you know that?"

Mikasa steps forward after being quiet for practically the entire conversation. "What are you trying to insinuate?"

He shifts his body to look at her. "Well it's obvious me and my brothers aren't it. She's our sister and I highly doubt it's my parents considering how freaked out they are right now."

He then points a finger at Mikasa but waves it back in forth between her and Jean. "You two however, don't seem to be freaking out at all."

"Wait, you think it's me or Mikasa? Seriously?" Jean asks, genuinely offended. He had thought he and Ambrose were back on good terms but that seems not to be the case at all.

Ambrose shrugs in response. "How do we know it's not?"

Kai groans. "Ambrose, just be quiet."

"No, I'm serious!" Ambrose argues. "How do we know it's not one of them? They're the ones with her every second of the day and she just happens to disappear? They didn't notice anything weird? Don't you think that's bullshit?"

"I'm just as confused as you all are!" Jean protests. "Yes, I admit I should've been more vigilant but she fooled all of us, not just me."

Jean then turns to Mikasa and sees her looking down at the floor and not saying a single word. Why wasn't she defending herself?

Ambrose puffs air out his nose before returning his attention back to his parents once again. "All I'm saying is we can't trust either of them."

Jean feels almost every muscle within him flex for a spilt second. "You don't trust me?"

Ambrose doesn't hesitate to answer the question with full and brutal honesty. "I trusted you with watching over my sister and look how that turned out. I trusted you to keep her safe and now she's who the fuck knows where with who knows who. You had one job and it was to make sure she was safe yet you couldn't even do that. How can I trust you when you haven't proved yourself trustworthy at all?"

"Ambrose. Enough already." Elijah's voice booms.

The boy laughs venomously. "You're oddly calm about this as well. Aren't you the one who should be worried the most, King Elijah?"

Elijah, as always, was quick with his witty and calculated response. "You're oddly panicked for someone who always tells her to go away. You got your wish so why are you complaining now?"

"Just because she's annoying doesn't mean I want her dead in a ditch somewhere, you imbecile." Ambrose snaps.

As soon as the queen hears the words dead in a ditch, she begins to sob all over again. Elijah glares at Ambrose and approaches his mother to rub her back as she cries.

"Now look what you did because you don't know how to shut the hell up." Kai stands up from his chair finally. His collected demeanor finally slipped away and he was now showing his angry side which Jean particularly hated to see.

Ambrose was growing angrier as well. "I'm the only one using my fucking brain here! All of you share half a brain cell and that's being generous."

"You can't accuse people without proof." Kai gets louder. "They're both in the same boat we are. At this point, I could even be the traitor."

Ambrose laughs. "If you're the traitor, you die too. Just like they will if it's them."

Even though Jean knew for an undeniable fact he wasn't the traitor, his heart dropped to his stomach just thinking about whatever kind of punishment the actual traitor will have to endure.

"And what makes you safe from being the traitor?" Kai continues the debate. "Everyone is a suspect except you, huh?"

The two begin to argue even more, their tones beginning to get louder and louder with each insult they threw at each other.

"BOYS!" The king's voice cracks through the room like lightning and echos like thunder.

The boys both seam their mouths shut and turn away from eachother. The king sighs. "Alright. You all need to take break from each other. You're acting like children all over again."

It was true. This is how all the fights would be back then. Jean could actually remember it quite vividly.

Jean and Ambrose would argue the most and their fights usually almost always ended up physical.

Elijah and Ambrose argued most times too but Eli always won which only made Ambrose even angrier.

Kai and Ambrose rarely fought. Kai had a lot of patience and probably could withstand Ambrose's strong personality the most but he also had a limit to how much he could tolerate before growing annoyed.

Jean and Elijah never really fought because there wasn't much to argue about. Elijah wasn't the type to argue if he didn't have to and Jean respected him to much to even do so.

Kai and Jean fought most times over stupid things like sharing toys or whose foot crossed the finish line first even if it was by a centimeter.

"Jean, go take a breather. Mikasa, you as well. We need some time alone as a family please." The king orders. "And do not speak a word of this until you return back into this room."

Jean and Mikasa both exit the room, one after the other. They don't say anything on their way out nor when the door closes behind them.

Jean turns to head in the opposite direction of the hall before Mikasa calls out to him. He pauses mid way and turns back to look at her.

She was looking down at her fingers that were knitted together in front of her. Her shiny, jet black hair hung loosely around her cowered face causing shadows to hide her features. "This is all my fault. Isn't it?"

She looks up now, regret and fear tattooed all over her now exposed face. "I should've tried to stop her."

Jean wanted to agree. He was angry. Angry at both her and Elijah who both knew what you were doing and didn't make any effort to stop you but instead cheered you on.

But, he bit his tongue instead. There was no point in yelling at her. Not when she was so clearly already punishing herself for her decision.

As much as he wanted to yell and find someone to put the blame on, there was no point. No amount of fighting would change the fact that you were gone.

"It's no one's fault. We're all just stressed right now so we're all trying to throw the blame on one single person when it was no one's decision but hers at the end of the day." He tells her.

He places his elbow on the wall and begins to rub at his head, disappointed in himself for what he's about to admit. "If I found out what she was doing before I started drinking the tea, I think I would've let her go too."

He wasn't sure if that was true. Actually, he knew it wasn't. He would've done his best to make you stay. Or hell, at least try to convince you to let him go with you so you're not alone.

But he knew that defeated the purpose. You were doing this to be on your own, to be independent. You were doing it to prove that you could. To prove you didn't need a man to do all the things you wanted to do. If Jean went with you, it would contradict the whole reason you left in the first place.

He sighs heavily. "She's her own person. She shouldn't be codependent. She won't be happy that way."

The entire time he speaks, he doesn't look at Mikasa once. Mainly because the sad look in her eyes was too much to bear but also because he was embarrassed of the words coming out his mouth.

"I don't blame you because I know why you did what you did." Jean admits. "We have the same motives. We both want her to have everything she yearns for."

She blinks away tears and rubs at her nose. "Do you think she's okay?"

He inhales sharply, cool air racing through his mouth to fill his lungs. "It's not really her I'm worried about, honestly. I know she'll do good. It's everyone around her out there that I can't stop thinking about."

Her head lowers again but this time her hands cover her face. "This is was a mistake." Her voice cracks.

"Hey." Jean calls. "They'll find her however they choose to do so."

She snaps her head back up and Jean notices her nose getting redder. "How? She didn't leave any hints about where she's going. No one knows where she's hiding or running off to."

He knew that couldn't be true. There had to be some way, some how to figure out where you were headed. Something, anything. "She had to. Maybe not on purpose but on accident. We just have to look."

Mikasa still didn't look too convinced but he could tell he was slowly getting her there. "We know her pretty well, right? We can figure it out in no time. I mean, she can't have gotten that far already." He adds.

She nods her head slowly and wipes at her eyes as she sniffles. "You're right. We'll figure it out. We have to."

She takes a few steps backwards. "I'm going to look in her room. She has a journal she writes in sometimes. Maybe I'll find something there."

He feels a weird twisting motion in his stomach when she mentions you have a diary. He quickly returns to the conversation again remembering the importance of the situation. "I'll check all her favorite spots."

She nods in compliance and walks rather rushed to your room on the other side of the castle. He wasn't sure how he managed to do it but he successfully tamed Mikasa's anxiety and helped her gain courage once again.

Now he just had to do the same for himself and everyone else.

Jean found himself in the far west corridor where the practice room resided. Inside, as always, laid the beautiful yet lonesome piano.

A tiny part of him hoped he'd see you there as he turned the corner to enter the room. He hoped it was all some vivid dream he had and you were still here, playing beautifully as your fingers danced gracefully along the white keys.

But it wasn't a dream. You really were gone.

He walks over to the piano and glides his fingers over the keys, gently enough to not make a sound.

Just a few inches above was your sheet music. The page the book was left open on was Clair De Lune.

He recalls one of the first days he got assigned to be your bodyguard and he stumbled upon you playing this very song at this very piano.

It was the first time he heard you play since kids. He remembers being amazed at how effortlessly you played the song like it was nothing.

He remembers sitting beside you and attempting to play the song himself but failing miserably. It was at that point that your hand touched his for the first time as you guided his fingers to the right keys.

He takes a seat at the lonely piano. It felt odd to be in the center of the bench and not having to share it with you like he usually does.

He tries to recall where exactly you lead his fingers. Part of him swears he can still feel your hands on his. He could hear your voice telling him to relax his hands.

By memory and of course, the help of the notes above, he begins to play the song. Or at least try his best to.

It was definitely better than last time but far from perfect. Every time he thought he was getting the hang of it, he would hit the wrong key and have to start all over again.

He found himself growing more and more frustrated. How did you make it look so easy?

Refusing to blame it on his stiff hands or lack of talent, he puts all the blame on the song instead and flips the sheet music to the next page.

The next song was titled City of Stars. He smiles when he recalls that it's the song you're always humming all the time. For that very reason, he wanted to play the song correctly. Like if he played it perfectly, you'd pop out of nowhere and applaud his efforts.

He begins to follow the music notes, carefully taking his time to press every key the way he should. It was childish to believe you'd appear if he played it right but he still found himself hoping you would.

When he gets to the end, his heart sinks with disappointment when you're still nowhere in sight. He hits the final key and the song comes to end.

Then, that's when he notices something written at the very bottom of the page. He knew that handwriting very well.

He grabs the book off its stand and brings the sheet closer to his face. In tiny words at the bottom of the page read:
Attrape-moi si tu peux.

"Catch me if you can." Jean translates out loud to himself.

Jean knew immediately it was your handwriting. He couldn't mistake it for anyone else's. Not to mention it's written in French which was something you had been recently studying the most with him.

"Catch me if you can." He repeats slowly. He then jumps up from the bench and clutches the sheet music even tighter.

It all had began to piece together. You left him a hint. It was a message only he could figure out. The two of you played the piano together, you both studied french together and he knew this was the song you always randomly sung.

Then flashbacks of a conversation he had with his mother a while back repeats in his mind.

"You know, there's a kingdom far away named Paradis. It's known as the city of stars. They call it that because of this lantern festival they have there every year." His mother's voice echos.

"That is also the place where supposedly y/n's powers originated from."

He remembers the festival. The lanterns fly all the way over here to Eldia if the wind is just right.

He recalls one year, he and your brothers sat in front of the castle's windows and stared in awe at the glowing lanterns that flew in and lit up the night sky.

He was probably no more than 12 at the time. He remembers kneeling in front of the window and trying to count the number of lanterns floating against the stars.

Now that he remembers it, you were there too. You were kneeled in front of the same window, mesmerized by the view and no more than 10 years old.

Your brothers all stood around the same window, climbing on top of each other to get a good view like there wasn't a thousand other windows to look out of.

Eventually, the boys lost interest and left, leaving him alone with you. If he recalls correctly, it was the first time ever he had ever been alone with you.

He was practically shitting himself beside you but you were too hypnotized by the lanterns to even notice. He smiles when he remembers the way your eyes sparkled in the glowing light.

"One day, I'm going to go over there and see them in person." You had announced to him, pointing your little finger at the trail of floating lights.

Before he could respond, your brothers had returned and practically dragged him out the room, leaving you all alone and dreaming out the window.

It all made sense in this very moment. He had no doubt in his mind you left that message for him and for him only.

He runs back to your parent's room, praying on the way there that's it's not too late. He was in such a rush that he completely forgot to knock and ended up just barging in.

The queen and king, along with the three princes, turn to look at the person who so rudely barged in. Jean clears his throat and swiftly brushes sweaty hair away from his face. "I'm sorry for the rude intrusion but I know where she is. Well, where she's going at least."

He holds out the page of sheet music to all the confused faces staring at him. "City of Stars."

Queen Solana looks like she's on the verge of either throwing up or fainting. Maybe a mixture of both. "Excuse me?" She croaks.

Ambrose snatches the sheet music from Jean's hands and inspects it himself. "City of Stars? You  got your big idea from a song?"

"City of Stars is what they call the kingdom of Paradis." Elijah informs.

Jean snatches the paper back just as harshly and points at the bottom of the page. "She wrote this."

Ambrose snatches the paper yet again with even more aggression this time and scrunches his face up. "The fuck does that say?"

"You don't know French?" Jean questions him.

The prince looks at him with an annoyed expression. "The only french I care about is kissing. What does it say?"

Now Kai snatches the paper away. The poor page was going to end up ripped to pieces if this carried on any longer. "It says catch me if you can." He translates.

His eyes then look at Jean's. "How did you find this?"

"She left it for me." Jean replies without even thinking it through.

"Excuse me?" The king asks. Jean could feel all the eyes in the room burning in his skin and watching his every move and listening to every word that spilled out his lips.

He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh, sorry. I meant, I think she did."

They all stare at him blank faced and still not understanding. He sighs deeply and tries his best not to screw this up. "One day when I was watching over her, she was playing the piano and she was showing me how to play it too because I forgot how. We also talk in french sometimes so she can practice."

"That doesn't explain shit." Ambrose comments.

Jean groans and takes the paper back from Kai. "She's always humming this song. I know she's telling me something. Maybe she's telling everyone something but I know she left it for me to find."

The room gets quiet for a moment. The king and queen exchange looks like they're communicating telepathically and the princes all remain staring at Jean with their eyes narrowed.

Elijah sighs. "Since you're so sure of yourself..." He then looks at his parents who looked worried sick. "We should send Jean to go find her."

"WHAT?!" Ambrose shouts.

Elijah doesn't even look in his direction, completely unfazed by his younger brother's outburst. "We can't send a whole group to search for her because people will quickly realize she's missing and information will spread like wildfire."

He looks at Jean now while he still speaks toward his parents. "He's the one who spends the most time with her now. He might notice her patterns more than we do."

"He lost her once already! What the hell makes you think he won't do it again?!" Ambrose argues.

"I won't." Jean says sternly, commanding the room to focus on him again. "I'll bring her back. I promise."

The queen looks at him as if she weren't fully convinced. Tears were in her eyes, threatening to spill out and her trembling fingers lingered over her lips.

"Elijah is right." Jean continues to reassure her. "I figured it out and I know her habits and patterns like the back of my hand now. Plus,
I'm the one who was supposed to be watching over her and I failed. This is my opportunity to make up for it and correct my mistake."

He looks right at King Hendrix now. "I'll bring her back no matter what it takes."

The king doesn't say anything. He just stares at Jean so intensely that it made him want to crawl under the bed and hide.

He then shakes his head at the ground and rubs at his forehead. "That damn girl will be the death of me. Security on every perimeter of this castle and she still managed to worm her way out."

He then turns to his wife. "What do you think?"

She sighs and remains seated on the bed. She doesn't say anything. All she does is stare down at her hands.

Kai speaks up. "I think it should be Jean. He's right, it's his responsibility and he's the best option."

Ambrose steps in front of him, blocking his little brother from his parents' view. "Why can't one of us go?"

"Because you're just as important as she is."
The queen finally snaps. "I can't have two of my children missing."

Ambrose balls up his fists. "Okay then send Mikasa instead!"

The king shakes his head. "Mikasa may be a strong woman who can defend herself but she also has PTSD from the last time she left Eldia with her parents. I won't put her through that."

"Well anyone else but him!" Ambrose begs like a child as he points right at Jean. He looked ten years younger right now.

Jean could feel anger bubbling up inside him. "Do you want your sister back or not?! Because if you do, I'm your best option."

The king looks at Elijah as if he was asking him for advice. It was funny because Jean always thought since the king was older, he was much wiser than Elijah but in reality, Elijah surpassed him long ago.

Elijah leans up against his father's desk. "People
will question where she is so we need to come with a story. We can say she went to visit Cicily Island because she didn't feel it was right to become queen of a foreign land without getting to know it first and if people ask where Jean is, we will say he accompanied her there as her bodyguard."

Kai nods slowly, impressed with his older brother's quick thinking. He looks at his parents before he adds his two cents. "They'll believe that story more than what she actually did."

The queen looks at her husband beside her. "That might work. We need to keep it hidden she's missing to avoid word getting out. Elijah's story is a good cover up."

She walks over to the desk where Elijah stands and grabs a letter she seemed to have been working on. "I was writing to Queen Malia, Phoenix's mother, asking her to postpone the wedding by another month, I just needed to send it out. That'll give us enough time to find her."

"What if we don't?" Ambrose asks. "What if we don't find her?"

"We have to." She answers. "She's my baby. We need to find her." She then sits at the edge of the bed and rests her face in her hands. "I pushed her too far. I should've seen this coming."

The king takes a deep breath. "Okay, we will follow through with Elijah's plan. The story will be yn is visiting Cicily and Jean went along with her. No one other than who is in this very room will know the truth. Understood? If even one person learns otherwise, if they find out she's out there alone and unprotected, her life will be in danger if it isn't already."

The last part makes the queen burst into tears and Elijah comforts her by rubbing her back again. Kai looks at his mother for a second with sad eyes but back at his father. "What about Mikasa? She knows yn left on her own."

"We can tell her that Jean went after her but we won't tell her where." The king demands.

Jean frowns. "Wait, why can't she know?"

"Because there's a slight chance she could be the traitor." The king answers. "I highly doubt she is. More like I don't want to believe she is but even if there's the slightest chance she is, we have to take that into consideration."

"Why is Jean the exception?" Ambrose questions. "There's a slight chance it could be him too and yet here you are, sending him right after her. Practically handing her to him."

Jean snaps his head toward him. "If I wanted to kidnap her, don't you think I would've done it already? I'm with her every single day."

"Maybe you were waiting for the perfect chance when there's no one around. Like right now for example." Ambrose debates. "Maybe you're the one who convinced her to run away since it'll benefit you."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kai snaps. "Just shut the hell up already. Yn is fully capable of making her own choices. Stop trying to blame someone for her leaving when we all know she's been wanting to do this for years now."

Jean appreciates the back up but he quickly speaks up for himself. "If you have something to say, say it. If you're pissed, say it."

"I AM PISSED." Ambrose clarifies. "I'm pissed because you let her go when it's specifically your job to make sure she does the exact opposite."

If Jean fought with any of your brothers the most, hell, if he argued with anyone the most, it was Ambrose. He just knew how to get his nerves like no other. "And what about you? Isn't your job as an older brother to watch over her too?"

Ambrose scoffs. "That's different."

"How?"

"You get paid to do it! And you think I don't know she saved you for last? You were the last one with her and now she's suddenly missing. Why am I the only one who finds that strange?" Ambrose prompts.

The more he heard it out loud, the more Jean felt stupid. "She's not missing. She ran away. There's a difference. She put me to sleep just like everyone else."

Ambrose doesn't say anything more to Jean giving him one last moronic look before turning back to his parents. "l don't care what anyone says. You can't just send one person to find her, It'll take ages. By the time Jean finds her, It'll be too late."

His finger jabs at the side of his skull. "She's school smart but not street smart. All it takes is
one creepy old man to say he's hurt and she'll feel obligated to help and he can snatch her up right there. Is that what you want?! For some creep to take her and lock her in some basement to use for their own personal gain?"

Elijah slams his fist on the desk. "SHUT UP!"

Kai buries his face in his shoulder as he tries not to laugh. He had a horrible habit of laughing in extremely serious situations.

The king steps forward. "You think we haven't already thought of this?! You think we don't know all the things that could go horribly wrong out there?! Look at your mother! She's physically ill with how worried she is!"

Ambrose suddenly became a million times smaller. The king doesn't stop. "It doesn't matter how you feel or how many tantrums you throw. I have the final say. Not you."

Through gritted teeth, Ambrose speaks again. "Fine." He turns to Jean and his eyes were full of burning hatred. "Send him."

He then turns back to his parents. "But if something happens to her, I'm blaming all of you."

Dramatically making his way over to the door, he pauses when his hand touches the door handle. He looks back at Jean once more. "Don't bother coming back unless she's with you. I'll make you regret it. If something happens to her before you find her, you're dead to me."

The door slams shut as soon as he finishes. Dramatic per usual.

The king sighs. "I apologize for his behavior."

Jean shakes his head. "He's worried about his sister. It's understandable. I'm the one who was with her last. He's right. I look suspicious."

"She drugged you just like she did everyone else." Kai reminds him. "Don't let Ambrose get to you."

Elijah pops his fingers that rest at his sides. "He's right about it taking long though. What if Jean can't find her? It's a big job for just one person."

Jean clears his throat. "I can do it. I know where she's heading and she can't have gotten far. She's most likely following a map since she doesn't know her way around. I'll follow the same one."

The king strokes his beard and looks at his wife who looked deathly pale. "Send us letters everyday with updates. If you don't succeed in finding her, we'll send another guard after you to help."

Kai walks up to his mother and sets a hand on her damp forehead. "She has a fever."

Jean walks over to the woman who watched him transition from diapers to a soldier's uniform. He places both hands on hers. "Try not to worry so much. I'll bring her back. I promise you. She's a smart girl and very capable of defending herself. I mean, she shot an apple off someone's head not too long ago."

The queen laughs gently. "That sounds like my girl."

He smiles. "She wouldn't have left if she didn't think she can handle it. I know you still see her as your little girl but she's not one anymore. Just like the rest of us aren't kids anymore either."

She nods. "You're right. She's safe somewhere. I know it." She speaks in existence. "I just...I just don't want anything bad to happen to her. I spent her whole life trying to protect her. All for her to just up and leave all on her own."

"I know." Jean agrees. "But as much as I hate to admit it, she's right. She's about to get married and belong to someone for the rest of her life. She's never been on her own. She'll drive herself crazy if she doesn't at least experience it once. I think it's better she does it now rather than when she's married, don't you think?"

Everyone in the room lets out a little laugh as they picture you up and leaving Cicily one day to experience being alone. It definitely would've gone a lot worse than this.

The queen smiles sadly as she stares down at her hands connected with Jean's. A tear falls from her eyes and lands on his knuckle. "She promised she'll come back. I've seen it first hand that she doesn't break promises." He reminds her.

He then stands up, letting go of her hands. "I don't either." He looks at the king. "I promise I'll find her and I'll bring her back."

Elijah lays his mother in bed after grabbing a damp towel and resting it on her forehead. "Everything will be fine. Jean will find her. I know he will. I have my full trust in him."

Jean, who has always looked up to Elijah since day one, can't help but feel warm inside.

Kai walks over his mother too. "So do I. He's the best option. She trusts him. You send anyone else after her and she'll just run away from them. I don't know what it is but she's different around him."

Now he felt even more mushy inside. It was almost too much. The queen smiles weakly. "I wish Ambrose felt the same."

Elijah rolls his eyes. "He does, he just has too much pride to admit it. He knows Jean is the only one who can convince her to come back home and that's why he gets mad."

"Why is that?" The king asks. "Why is it that you're the only one she'll listen to?"

Jean uncomfortably shrugs. "I'm not sure, if I'm being honest. Maybe it's because we've been together since children. She grew up around me."

He then clenches his jaw and fists as he builds up the courage to say what he'll say next. "It's because of that that I care about her more than any of the other guards. They get paid to watch over her and I know I do too but I watch over her because I genuinely want to her to be safe."

Kai smirks and Jean pretends not to see it. "I care about all of you. I see all of you as family. I hate that I disappointed you. I hate that I failed. I hate that I let her slip through my fingers. I hate that Ambrose, who I see as brother, doesn't trust me."

"But I will fix it. I won't come back until she's with me just like Ambrose said. You have my word." He finishes.

The king grabs the bed frame beside him. "Very well. Let's see if you are a man of his word. You will leave today to go after her. Take any necessary supplies you may need. Do not speak a word of your mission to anyone. Not even your mother."

Jean stands up straight and bows before the king. "Of course, your highness. You won't regret this."

After they dismiss him, Jean walks out the door and your two brothers trail behind him. Elijah walks a little further behind while Kai quickens his pace to walk beside Jean. "Are you nervous?" He asks.

Jean lies. "No." He was definitely nervous. Everyone was now fully depending on him to bring you home and as much as they all believed you'd listen to him, he didn't know if that was necessarily the case.

"I would be." Kai admits, his hands behind his head as he continues to walk. "My sister's life depends on you. No pressure."

Jean glares at him. "Are you trying to make me feel worse than I already do?"

"I thought you weren't nervous?" The prince grins.

Jean stops walking and Kai mirrors him. Elijah who was a couple steps behind does too, catching up with them now. "Can I ask you two something?"

They nod. "How are you both so calm? Ambrose is the only one who I feel reacted appropriately."

Kai looks at Elijah who looks back at him. Kai speaks up first. "I try not to think about the worse possible scenario. My glass is half full. I only think about her being happy and finally seeing the world like she always wanted to. Not all the other stuff that could possibly go wrong. Ambrose, well, he tends to only ever look at the bad. He doesn't see the world like she does."

Elijah looks out the window. "I won't deny that I'm worried. I am. But there's no point in freaking out and slamming doors like a child."

He twists the ring around his finger that was handed down to him from his father. "A king is supposed to always keep a level head. He doesn't panic or act impulsively when there's a bad situation. That's why my dad came up with a plan that was the best solution rather than practically sending an entire army after her. He had to think rationally and responsibly even when it's his little girl in danger."

Jean understood now. He understood why Elijah was the best pick for the throne. Not because he was the oldest but because he was the only one who was capable of doing the job.

He suddenly recalls the day he sat on the throne for just a few moments and lived out his fantasy of being king. He recalls you throwing a dire situation in his face to see how quickly he could resolve it and how he panicked instantly. His brain was so jumbled that he couldn't think of a solution in time.

As much as he would love to be something like a king, he wasn't sure if he could handle the responsibility. He wasn't even sure if he could handle the responsibilities he already was given.

Jean opens his mouth to speak but then sees some people coming down the hallway. He opens one of the vacant rooms and gestures for the two boys to follow him.

Once they are safely out of hearing range, Jean braces himself for what he's about to say. "If where we think she's going is correct, I think I know why she's going there. I thought it was because she's always wanted to see the lantern festival but...I think it's deeper than that."

Kai and Elijah both patiently wait for him to explain further. "I remember one night I asked my mom about this song yn's always humming and she said it was City of Stars. She told me that Paradis was nicknamed that and that that's the kingdom yn's powers originated from."

Elijah snaps his fingers. "I fucking knew it."

He begins pacing the room while stroking his chin, just like his father does. "That's why I wasn't that surprised when she left. I knew she was going to."

Jean blinks confused. "Wait, really? How?"

"She can't control her powers anymore. She noticed it." Elijah explains. "Ever since the marriage stuff began, the weather has been horrible. The plants, grass, everything is dying. It's not a coincidence. She's the reason it's happening and she noticed it."

"I knew it." Jean whispers to himself. "I knew it was because of her and everyone made me feel like I was crazy!"

Elijah ignores him while he continues to think out loud. "She doesn't know anything about her powers besides that she can heal living things. When she saw she was doing the opposite, she got scared. She's running to the place her powers come from to learn how to stop it. She's scared of hurting people."

Kai frowns. "Do you think she is actually that powerful? I mean, be serious. Her moods surely can't be the reason why everything suddenly got so dark, right?"

Elijah looked like he just solved a case he had been working on for years. "Eldia is always sunny. The crops flourish here and the people are always happy. Why? Because she's always happy. Or at least forces herself to be."

He sets both hands down on a chair. "She's a normal girl with normal feelings except she can heal away the negative ones. That's why we never see bad weather because she stops it before it gets that way. Ever since the marriage, she can't hide anymore how she feels. She's sad, angry."

"I've noticed for years now but didn't know if I was thinking too deep into it." Elijah says. "But I was right."

Kai takes a few steps back. He laughs stiffly. "This has to be a joke. This is yn we're talking about."

"Yeah. I know." Elijah says dryly. "Thanks for stating the obvious."

Jean sucks in his bottom lip as he tries to concentrate. "She's losing control of it. She realized it and didn't say a single word to anyone about it. She's been dealing with it alone."

Kai laughs again, still not believing any of it. "So not only do you think she can control the weather but you think she can make people sick too? Just by feeling sad or angry? Come on."

Elijah seems annoyed with his brothers much slower brain. "Did you seriously never notice?"

"Obviously not if I'm fucking asking!" Kai shouts.

Eli sighs. "The other day, I saw Armin when he first got to the castle. He was as healthy and upbeat as always. He told me he was headed to teach yn like he always does. When I saw him just an hour later, he was beyond pale and running a terrible fever. He was sweating like crazy and could barely stand up straight."

Jean's body shoots up. "I saw that! I went to pick her up from class and he looked like he could barely walk from how weak he was. I knew it was strange how he was just with her."

Kai looked nauseous. "That can't have been her fault."

Jean felt bad. He knew Kai wasn't being slow or stupid. He just didn't want to believe his little sister was capable of such things. He loved her and saw her as someone who could do no wrong. His idea of her was crumbling before his eyes.

Elijah chuckles. "I didn't want to believe it at first either. I thought there's no way yn could hurt anyone. I still think that's true. She wouldn't intentionally."

His face then sulks. "But she's not doing it on purpose. She does it without realizing and she finally noticed it. She got scared and ran away from the people she cares about the most so she wouldn't hurt them anymore."

Kai takes a seat and places his hands on his knees. "I can't believe I didn't notice. I should've. I'm with her all the time. I could've been there for her."

"Even if you had noticed like I did, she would've left still." Elijah reassures. "I may know a lot of things but I don't know how to help her. No one does. She knows just as much about her powers as we do. And that's not saying much."

Jean rubs at his sides of his face, his head begin to hurt. "What if what she's looking for isn't out there? What if that place isn't even where her powers come from? I mean, does she expect there to just be some kind of manual there that will explain to her how to fix it?"

Elijah sits in the chair beside Kai who was still frozen in a state of shock. "Who knows. There's only one way to find out and she knows that. That's why she went."

Jean sighs. "Well, let's hope this is not all for nothing. Let's hope she finds the answers somehow. Instructional manual or not."

Elijah looks out the window again. "Yeah. Let's hope."

—

Jean began walking to the stables with a backpack full of things he may need and another bag full of clothes.

The closer he approached the stables, he noticed Hange and Sasha there. He began internally cursing because he was specifically told not to let anyone see him leaving.

The king had instructed him to go out the back gates into the woods rather than the front to avoid any attention. It seems he forgot to take in consideration that there would be people at the stables too.

They were just arriving because they began to set their bags down and prepare for the day ahead. "Oh, Jean! Goodmorning!" Hange sings.

Sasha grins. "Morning!" She then pokes her head around Jean to look behind him. "Where's the princess?"

"She's, uh—" He stammers. "Packing her stuff. We're going to Cicily."

Sasha's eyes light up. "Whoa, really? I thought the wedding wasn't for a while though."

Jean enters the stables and starts to take his pick of all the horses who were patiently waiting there. "She wants to go visit before the wedding so she can get to know the land and the people."

"Sounds like her." Hange says with a warm smile. "She's always been very considerate."

"Speaking of considerate. Did you try some of that tea she made everyone? Oh my god, it was amazing." Sasha practically drools.

Hange agrees. "No kidding. I haven't slept that well in ages."

"I don't think I've slept that good ever!" Sasha laughs.

Jean laughs too but much more forcefully. "Anyways. I need to grab one of these horses."

Hange frowns. "Oh, you're not taking a carriage?"

"We are." Jean quickly lies. "We already have one horse so we need another."

"Ahhh, so that's why Maximus is missing. I knew the princess wouldn't go anywhere without him." Hange realizes.

Sasha begins to take her bow and arrow and sets it down on a nearby bench. "How long are you guys going to be gone?"

Jean avoids eye contact with them. "Two months I think."

"Is it just you going with her?" Hange questions.

He didn't know if he was just being paranoid but they were sure asking a lot of questions. Yeah for now. We're going on horse to the port and then we'll take the rest of the passage by boat since we have to cross the sea. The ship's crew will meet us to take us to the island."

He was grateful Elijah prepped him with answers just in case anyone questions where he was going.

Sasha sighs and sets her elbow down on the fence. "She's so lucky. I've always wanted to go there. I heard the food there is soooo good."

She then suddenly gasps. "Oh! Will you bring me something back?"

Jean cringes. How was he supposed to lie his way out of this one? "I don't think the food will stay fresh by the time we come back." He quickly comes up with.

Sasha whines. "You're mean. I'll just ask the princess instead. I want to go say goodbye to her before she leaves anyway."

"No!" Jean shouts. They both stare at him confused. "Uh—She's in the restroom right now. With the shits."

Sasha blinks slowly. "Huh?"

Great. Now to come up with more lies. "She's so nervous about going that she's having stomach problems and just... shitting everywhere so I don't think you should see her right now."

Both Sasha and Hange make disgusted faces. "Oh.. well tell her I hope she has a safe trip then."

"I will." Jean says opening one of the stables to allow one of the horses to step out. The horse that caught his eye was jet black and which he found humorous considering your horse was white like snow.

Hange caresses the head of the horse. "Make sure
they drink plently of water. Oh and here." Jean takes the potato sack full of apples Hange holds out to him. "Maximus loves apples. He won't eat anything but that."

"Thanks." Jean mutters as he adjusts the sack to fit in his arms. As grateful as he was for the help, he was annoyed he had even more stuff to carry now.

Hange helps adjust the saddle on the dark horse. "Tell the princess she has nothing to worry about. They'll adore her there."

Jean forces a smile. He was told to be in and out quickly yet here was still stuck in a conversation he couldn't seem to get out of. "I'll let her know."

Finally when the discussion seems to come to an end, Jean grabs the horse and begins to lead him out to the grass so he can jump on.

Once he's on, Hange calls out to him. "Oh and Jean." He turns his head to face both Hange and Sasha who were staring at him with shallow eyes.

Was he just being paranoid or were they looking at him like they knew he was lying?

"Be careful." Hange begins. "She's a princess. A beautiful one at that. Take your eyes off her for just a second and someone will snatch her up."

Sasha nods. "Don't trust anyone. You can never be too careful."

You're being paranoid.

"I won't let anything bad happen to her." Jean states simply and to avoid overthinking some more, he takes off before saying anything more.

—

Jean took off that day through the back gates where no one could spot him. Other than Sasha and Hange, no one else saw him.

King Hendrix said he would wait to announce it to everyone that the princess and Jean were leaving to Cicily after Jean was well out of the kingdom to avoid anyone following.

That was two days ago.

For two whole days, Jean had been riding through the woods following an exact copy of the map you took along with you.

There was several different routes to Paradis one could take but there was one that was known to  be the fastest, however it was the most dangerous as well.

Jean knew for a fact you took this path regardless of how treacherous it was, specifically because it was the fastest. That worried him even more.

A total of 48 hours had passed since you left the castle alone and with each hour that passed, Jean could feel the noose tightening around his neck more and more.

He was exhausted. He stopped to take breaks here and there but he honestly couldn't sleep or allow himself to rest for a second. He was anxious, impatient and frustrated. Not to mention, starving.

Even though the season was transitioning into winter, the more he ventured South, the hotter the climate was.

Jean was used to Eldia's much cooler atmosphere. It was an elevated kingdom, lifted up onto beautiful mountains and covered with massive trees that touched the clouds.

He knew this wouldn't be the case for Paradis. Paradis, in contrast to Eldia, was surrounded by large bodies of water. It was almost an island of its own. Technically, it was considering only a long bridge connected it to the mainland.

He also noticed that the more he traveled deeper into the forest, the uglier everything became. The trees were old and practically falling apart. The grass was an ugly mustard, brown color. The air smelled like heavy smoke and gunpowder.

Jean quickly realized why this route was considered more dangerous. It was in the middle of a war zone.

There were bullets scattered across the ground. Missed shot arrows stabbed into innocent, bystanding trees. Dried blood coated on pale colored leaves.

Although Eldia was a peaceful place, he knew that wasn't the case for the rest of the world. He knew war was happening all over the place. It was inevitable as long as humans existed in this 2
world.

He grew more and more worried the more he saw the remains of the battle zone. The idea of you traveling through here alone made him want to vomit right here.

Not only was it the fastest route but Jean knew there was another reason you would go this way. He wouldn't be surprised if you knew there was war going on in this area. In fact, he was almost 100% sure you knew.

If that was the case, you went this way specifically because it's a war zone. You preach over and over about wanting to help people and put your gift to use and what better opportunity than to help a bunch of wounded soldiers.

It was like you were knocking two birds with one stone. The route that was the fastest just happened to pass through towns full of wounded people. It had your name written all over it.

After a couple more hours of seeing what felt like the same trees over and over, he finally enters a small town full of worn down houses and stray beat up looking dogs.

There was children running around, coated in dirt and holes in their clothing. The homes they lived in either had huge chunks missing from their roofs or the roof was gone completely.

There was debris and rubble everywhere. There was white tents around every corner which he assumed was shelter for those who lost their homes.

It was depressing to say the least. It hurt his heart to see a town that was probably so beautiful become almost non-existent due to them unintentionally getting stuck in the middle of the crossfire. Innocent people who had nothing to do with this war just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If he felt horrible, he couldn't imagine how you felt. You felt more deeply about things than he did. Especially stuff like this. It was your whole brand. You had the unbearable need to help everyone who needed it. This would've been the perfect place for you.

Suddenly, he felt a stringing sensation burning in his palms and he releases the rope connected to his horse to look at the damage. Blisters coated his already rough palms and were starting to bleed the more friction he issued on to them.

Luckily for him, just a couple feet away, there was a massive white tent with a red cross painted on the side.

He figured it was a hospital and he hoped they wouldn't mind sparing some bandage to wrap around his palms. He had to at least ask.

He hops off his horse, careful not to tear more skin off his hands and ties him to a nearby tree.

It felt odd to just walk in this town he didn't recognize or that he hasn't ever been in. He almost felt guilty for just walking into this hospital and asking for something other people probably needed more.

As he approaches the tent, he walks staring down at the blisters and running his thumb across, messing with the loose skin.

He knew the bandages would only temporarily stop the irritable discomfort but he didn't want to take any ointment from anyone else who actually needed it.

Where's that girl when you need her?

His eyes catch the grass surrounding one corner of the tent and noticed immediately how vibrant the green blades looked compared to the rest of the place. It was only in the one spot.

And then there it is.

The sound of laughter. Not just any laughter but his favorite one.

He stops in his tracks, the heels of his shoes digging into the dirt underneath him.

There's no way.

He couldn't mistake that laugh for someone else. No one else had that laugh. It was loud and contagious while maintaining a harmonious sound.

He backs up to the part of the tent where he heard the laughter the loudest. He steps closer, his ear almost on the fabric and while he tries to listen, he sees the word HOSPITAL written on the side.

It was almost too easy. He thought it was too good to be true. He didn't think he'd find you this quickly. He actually laughs at himself because there was no way it was this fucking easy.

And then he hears it. A girl's name. And although it wasn't your name, the one he had been hoping to hear, he hears another name.

A name he knew well.

The name Andromeda.

The second the name clicks in his mind, his body jolts forward and he rushes to the front of the tent and runs in.

Some people turn to him with confused and concerned looks. He probably looked insane running into a hospital full of wounded people.

He clears his throat and cooly walks down the aisle to the back of the tent. "Sorry."

Once everyone goes back to what they were originally doing, he scans the room to try to find you.

He thought he was going to bitch you out the second he saw you. He swore he was going to. He had practically rehearsed it over and over on the way here.

But the moment he saw you, he immediately melted with relief when he realizes you were still alive and safe. He almost had to fight the urge to run up and hug you.

You were dismissing a patient who began praising you up and down. You wave your hands smugly in the air and claim it was no big deal but by seeing the other guy's reaction, it was a pretty big deal.

And there you really were. Dressed exactly like the other nurses. How you managed to convince everyone here you're a doctor of some sort, he had no idea.

Once the grateful man finally pulls himself away from you, you turn your back and begin shifting through some boxes as if you were looking for something in particular.

While you're not looking, Jean quietly walks over to your area and sits on the bed the man was seated on just a moment ago.

Not even turning around, you speak to the strange person seated behind you. "Give me one moment please."

Finally, you find something you were looking for and it seemed like a book from where he sat but you hold it tightly away from him for him to see clearly.

"Found what you were looking for?" He asks.

You gasp and drop the book down on the ground. Spinning around, your eyes meet his and you don't even hesitate an attempt to flee.

He grabs your arm before you even take two steps. You look down at his grip and then back at him. "Let go of me or I'll scream."

"Scream and I'll tell everyone here you're a princess with an expensive bounty on her retrieval. I wonder how many people need that kind of money?" Even though he whispered it, there was evident sass in his voice.

Your eyes widen for a second but your brows furrow together slightly after. "You're lying."

He leans forward. "Want to find out?"

You yank your arm away from him and cross your arms. "How did you find me?"

"You left clues." He sits back on the small bed. "And the name Andromeda? Can you be anymore obvious?"

You frown. "It's not obvious. You're the only person I've ever told that too. Not even Mikasa or Kai know about that."

His heart dips a little but he snaps out of it. "You knew I would come find you."

"No."

She has to be kidding.

But there you stood. Arms still crossed and face hilariously trying to look serious.

He rolls his eyes. "You left me clues. The piano and that song. The words written in French. And now your baby name. Things I only know about."

You scoff a laugh as you pick up the book from the ground and tuck it safely in your arms. "You're not the only person who knows I speak french and play the piano, Jean. Don't get too ahead of yourself."

He knew you were just trying to mess with his head but he refused to let you talk your way out of this. "What do you think your doing? Seriously? A hospital? You're gonna get caught if people just start magically healing."

You step closer to him until your right by his face. "A hospital is the best place for me! They're not going to notice my touch is what is healing them! They'll just think it's medicine."

He looks at you stupidly. "Yes, they'll totally believe medicine healed them in ten seconds as soon the pretty girl touched them."

Your lips curl into smile. "You think I'm pretty?"

As much as that smile had a grip on him, he forced himself to look away. "How many people have you healed?"

You look away, trying extra hard to avoid his eyes and suddenly muttering. "Just that one man. He had a broken leg. Oh, and a dog with burns on the way over here."

His eyes shoot open. He recalls the man thanking you and walking away with two perfectly working legs. In fact, he practically strutted out the tent.

That can't possibly be the man you're claiming just had a broken leg. But knowing you, that's exactly who it was.

He grabs your arm again and brings you closer to him. "Are you crazy?! A broken leg?! How do you explain that to someone?"

Your eyebrows scrunch together. "You just pretend to snap the bone back in place."

"What about splinters? His leg just happened to be a clean break?" He questions you.

"What are you, a doctor now?!" You snap before pulling away from him. "Just relax! I have it all under control."

It honestly felt like talking to a child. "How long do you expect to get away with this?"

You shrug. "It worked at the other two hospitals."

He could feel the blood drain from his face. He felt like he could pass out right here. "You...This isn't the first time?!"

Now it was your turn to look at him like he was stupid. "I've been missing for almost three days and you think I just stayed in one place the entire time?"

Not only was he already upset with you but the way you were so casually responding to him as if he were overreacting made it even worse.

He stands up and practically drags you out the other side of the tent to avoid anyone seeing. "We're going home. Now."

You dig your feet into the dirt to brake. "No way. I'm not going anywhere."

He tugs at your arm but you shift all your weight down so it's harder to move you. "Y/n." He warns through gritted teeth.

"Jean." You copy his tone while attempting to pull yourself away.

The two of you start a game of tug of war using your arm instead of a rope. He was a lot stronger than you so he could easily win but he was too scared to accidentally hurt you even though he knew that was impossible.

He was grateful there was no one around to see him pulling you with him because from an outsider's point of view, it looks like he's kidnapping you rather than saving you from it.

Because you can't feel pain, you don't mind pulling your hardest to get away from him and even though he knew it wouldn't hurt you, he couldn't match your strength. He just couldn't.

He lets go and you fall backwards, landing flat on your butt in a pile of mud. He covers his mouth and begins to howl into it.

"Now look what you did!" You cry out and you try to stand back up. "It looks like I shit myself."

He couldn't stop laughing. He completely forgot for just a second he's supposed to be extremely upset with you. "That's what you get for stealing someone else's clothes."

You look down at the stolen nurse attire hugged tightly around you. "I didn't steal it necessarily!" You try to defend yourself. "They have a bunch just laying in a closet."

"That's still stealing." Jean reminds you. "You're not a nurse, are you? You can get sued for fraud or something."

You stand up and try to wipe the damp mud off the back of your dress. "Technically, I am. What's the definition of a nurse? Someone who heals people right?" You hold your arms out. "And what is it I do again?"

Drive me insane. That's what you do.

In this very moment, you reminded him so much of Ambrose. The ability to talk yourself
out of any situation with charm was his speciality.

Jean used to think the sibling you were the most like was Kai but he couldn't deny that the more he got to know you, you had Ambrose written all over.

Because he had grown up with Ambrose, he knew this technique like the back of his hand. He knew when he was being sweet talked into believing a lie or falling for a trick.

His smile drops and he stands straighter. "Let's go home."

"No." You step backwards and clutch the book tightly against your chest. "I'm not going."

He takes a deep breath. He knew this wasn't going to be easy. The finding you part, sure. But the taking you home part... now that was an entire task all on its own.

"You think I did all that for three measly days of freedom?" You ask him. "I've spent 19 damn years locked in that castle and you think I'm settling for three days?"

You don't even let him get a word in. "You have no idea how it feels. To see the same walls day in, day out. The same faces. The same schedule everyday for the past 19 years. I'm going crazy."

As you wave your arms around, he notices your engagement ring isn't on your finger. He wasn't sure if it was because you genuinely didn't want to wear it or if it was to avoid getting robbed.

And speaking of the ring. "You don't know what it's like to be forced to marry someone you don't even love. Someone you don't even really know! To sleep next to a stranger every night!"

He felt bad. He really did.

But he made a promise. "I have to bring you back. Your family and Mikasa are depending on me to bring you back. Ambrose himself specifically told me not to dare come back unless I had you with me."

Your frantic arms settle and cross over your chest. "Well then I guess you're not going back."

He couldn't believe you still weren't budging. He expected you to hear that your family was worried sick about you and you would immediately feel bad and want to come home for their sake.

But you didn't care. You didn't care that they were worried about you. You didn't care that Jean spent three days looking for you without much rest. You didn't care that your brother threatened him to come back with you with him or to not even bother coming back at all.

You didn't care.

Was this the same person he had known all these years? The same girl who would heal her brothers every time they got hurt even though they were always mean to her? The same girl who risked her life to give a random girl she had never met the gift of being able see? The same girl who said yes to a marriage she didn't want just to make everyone else happy?

You looked the same. You sounded the same. But there was something different. He couldn't tell what but the energy around you glowed a different shade. It was like the second you stepped out the castle gates, something clicked within you.

"What about your family? Do you never wanna see them again? Your parents, your brothers, Mikasa." He tries to convince you.

You shake your head. "I'll go back eventually. Just not now."

His knuckles flex as he grows frustrated. "Eventually?"

"Don't act like you didn't read the letter I left behind." You remind him. "I clearly stated I'll be back in two months."

He laughs harshly. "You're actually being serious about that? You really think you can be out here for two whole months?"

You don't let his insults get to you. "Yes, two damn months is all I ask for. Two months and then I'll go back to my miserable life again."

Your strong voice softens. "Two months to see as much of the world as I can."

His chest begins to ache as he tries to muster up the courage to continue to deny your pleas. "Do you understand how dangerous this is? You aren't just anyone. You can't just be traveling everywhere and anywhere all by yourself."

"Well good thing I have you with me then, right?" You say simply.

He backs up. "No way, don't start. I don't support this dumb idea at all."

You step forward. "It's your job to protect me and watch over me no matter where I am, is it not?"

"Yes." He backs up again. He knew what you were doing. "But my job now is to find you and
take you back home."

"And you will." You state. "Just in two months."

He opens his mouth to argue with you some more but two men walk out the tent together causing the conversation to cease temporarily.

"The weather is amazing today, isn't it?" One of the men says to the other. The other man responds with a smile. "Did you see the crops? We lost all of them in that storm two weeks ago and now they've grown again and look better than ever."

Jean shoots you a look like he wants to kill you and you smile innocently. "Probably just a coincidence."

Once the two men are out of ear shot, Jean continues getting on to you. "I don't understand why you would do something this stupid. You're a smart girl so why?"

"Because I wanted to!" You shout. "I have no other reason besides that. Isn't that good enough?"

"What do you expect to accomplish in two months? That's not nearly enough time to do all
the stuff you want." He points out.

You point in the direction of the town. "Look at this place! Before I got here, people were dying of starvation because their crops froze during a winter storm. Now all their crops are full and ready for harvest. The weather is ten times better than it was originally."

You look back at him again. "And I've only been here for two hours."

Birds fly in circles around the two of you as they sing the same tune as the birds in nearby trees. When Jean focuses on them, he notices their hummingbirds.

"Look at all I accomplished with just two hours. Imagine two months. You're right, it's not enough time to do all the things I want but I'll try to squeeze in as much as I can in that time frame." You protest.

You close your eyes and breathe the fresh air for a moment. "If I can just help in the slightest bit, I want to. If I have to pass up on sleep, I will. If I have to keep moving without breaks, I will. I want to help as many people I can until my time
is up. I will help as many people as I can."

Now you were finally sounding like yourself again. "There's war happening everywhere. I think I can help stop it somehow. Or at least help the people effected by it."

"You're insane if you think I'm going to let you go to all the most dangerous places in the world right now just so you can help a bunch of wounded soldiers you don't even know." Jean stands his ground.

You stomp your foot. "It's not just soldiers that are losing their limbs and lives! Civilians are too! People get caught in the middle of these horrible battles. People who didn't make it out on time. Innocent people just trying to survive."

"Why are you so obsessed with helping people you don't even know? Why do you feel it's your responsibility to save them?" He asks.

You hold up your hands to him. "I was born to do this! For all I know, I'm the only person who can do this. Sure there's doctors and nurses but no one can do what I do and you know that."

You stare right into his eyes. "If not me, then who?"

He pauses. You were right. If not you, who?
The thing is, this wasn't the only thing you were right about. You made point after point and he agreed with every bit of it.

You deserved this. You deserved freedom and the right to be selfish. After all, it was he who told you it was annoying how you never could be selfish.

How could he blame you for wanting to do this? How could anyone?

You begin walking away from him and he runs after you. "Where exactly are you going?"

You look over your shoulder, a face that held a confidence that seemed impenetrable. "Paradis. The City of Stars."

I knew it.

"Cit-" He throws his arm out in the air as he shouts. "Do you have any idea how far that is?!"

Your self assured demeanor remained unfazed. You raise your shoulders along with your eyebrows. "I better get on my way then, shouldn't I?"

Your lips then curl into the same smug smile you do when you're about to say something funny. "Plus, Maximus is pretty fast."

Seeing you smile struck a reflective muscle in his face but he forces the feeling down. He can't let you change his mind. He had to bring you home and he wasn't going to let you charm your out of it. "I can't let you go."

You face him fully now. "I'm sorry but unless you have a whole army with you, you're not stopping me."

"Are you implying you're stronger than me?" He asks.

"Are you implying you're going to use force?" You question him in return.

She got me there.

He struggled to come up with some clever comeback. Not that you really gave him much time considering you inch closer to him, eyes as cold as he's ever seen them.

"I've made it this far, I'm not turning back." You explain sternly. "By the time you go back to Eldia and return with more guards, I'll already be in Paradis so just give it up."

He stares down at you, much too prideful to show you were slowly getting to him. He still hadn't given up yet. He promised he'd bring you home. He couldn't break that promise.

[play Hearing Damage by Thom Yorke just trust me on this]

"Or you can come with me." You suddenly suggest.

He moves back. "What?"

You step closer. "You're worried about me being alone, aren't you? Come with me. Might as well considering I'm going either way."

His heart was practically jumping out his chest and the impact against it pounded in his ears. He was hesitating.

Why? Why was he hesitating? He knew what his answer was.

But that promise. That stupid fucking promise.

"Come on." You continue to persuade him. "Haven't you always talked about leaving Eldia? How you loved it there but it's too calm and too peaceful. How you want adventure and excitement."

The light returns to your eyes as you speak now, imagination swimming through your mind. "This is your chance to do something crazy."

You point over to the direction where a long trail of trees reside. "Both of us can finally go out there. The world is just waiting for us. We can see it all. We can do whatever we want."

You spring up to grab both of his hands and look right at him. "Just the two of us."

You were so god damn convincing. How could he say no to a face like that? How could he turn away words so sweet?

"I have people depending on me to bring you home." He not only reminds you but himself as well.

Your hands tighten around his. "And you will. Just not right now."

Your eyes dart back and forth between his and it's obvious you know he still is having doubts.

So, you smile reassuringly. "Did you forget I'm really good at hide and seek? Let's just say it took you a little longer than you planned to find me."

"Orrr," You sing as your finger creeps up his arm.  "You can say I never stopped running so you could never catch up to me. A game of endless tag."

You look at him, still showcasing that beautiful, hard to resist smile and batting those pretty eyes of yours, the tip of your fingernail gliding further up his sleeve. "I won't tell anyone the truth if you don't."

Before he can even process any of what just happened, you walk away, leaving him starstruck. You then turn back to look at him. "You coming or not, Kirstein? We got a long way ahead."

Adrenaline consumed him. He couldn't stay still. It felt like his body was thinking one thing and his brain was thinking another.

His body yearned to follow you as he watches you walk further away from him. It was almost like it was being pulled by magnets.

His brain, however, was being more logical and forcing him down in place, reminding him of his main goal and not be distracted by your tempering offer.

His heart was the tiebreaker.

He runs after you while the impulse still lingered and before he could overthink his decision. "Wait!" He calls after you.

You smile at him like you knew he'd give in eventually.

You smile at him like this is what you had planned from the very beginning.