Overall Review - @draphy

I read a couple chapters of your book and really enjoyed it. I liked your plot - although I did point out a few things I didn't find consistent (like the girl feeling calm when she sees the pet on Tabasa's shoulder, but not when it suddenly appears on someone's head).

I also loved your characters - your MC, as many people have pointed out, was realistic and relatable. I liked that over the course of the chapters, we discover that books are his way of escaping his parents. (How long have they been fighting?) I liked the conflict, and I thought you also did a good job of forming the relationship between the MC and the uncle. (Who I loved - he was fun, dramatic, natural..)

There's not much in way of characters or plot that I would like to critique - you did a very good job on them. What I did think needed a little work was sentence structure, perhaps even showing instead of telling:

Some sentences were too long. Some felt a bit awkward, or were missing a certain word to improve the flow or had a word too much.

I also think that more depth (and possibly later character development) in the manga characters could be good from the very start - although that might still come, and if the italics is a description of what is going on in the manga - on the page - the way you wrote it makes a lot of sense.

Overall, your book was fun and engaging. The switching between manga and real life made the pace faster, increased the stakes (what if the Mum finds out? Is there any way you could increase the punishment or show her reaction with a proper dialogue, again showing us how she reacts when she finds him out instead of telling us she lectured him? This might add authenticity to the story.) I thought your choice of nouns and verbs beautiful.
Recap: edit showing and telling (play around with that a bit - how can you show us more and tell us less, maybe also use a little bit more dialogue for more balance). Go through your paragraphs to check for awkward sentences. Possibly show us more about the manga characters - although that might still be coming.

I hope this is helpful! Your writing was fun to read, and I wish you much luck improving it further! Feel free to ask me about something if you're not sure what I meant.