KHUSHI

Since Anjali's proposal, everything had been going on well, we were all back to our routine, work, go out on weekend, go on some dates and that was it.

Anjali and Manav had picked their wedding date which wasn't really far, it had been two months since then, and their wedding was going to be at the end of this month which was like a week from now.

According to them, they had dated long enough and they just wanted to be married, I was happy for them, at least somebody got their happily ever after.

I looked at the door to Arnav's cabin and wondered when I was going to get mine, everything between Arnav and I was so perfect, he always made me so happy, did so many things for me, sometimes he even gave me surprises, let me just say that he was the perfect boyfriend ever, and despite it all, somehow I still wasn't falling in love with him.

Was this normal or was there something wrong with me? I mean how was I supposed to know that whatever I felt towards him wasn't just limited to liking him but it had turned into love. I knew I was obsessed with him, if I wouldn't see him in a day, I'd get so restless and worried, when he was around I was like a teenage girl so excited and hyper, I loved his company I loved spending time with him, was that love?

I mean how do you really know that you're in love with someone? Is there a sign or something? In my previous relationship, I never got to that stage, so I really didn't know how to figure this out, maybe I just had to be patient, and maybe I would know it when I'd be in love with him right?

"Khushi" Arnav waved his palms in front of my face, I blinked severally looking at him in confusion then came to realize that I was lost in my own thoughts.

"What were you thinking about so seriously?" He asked.

"Just you." I smiled.

"It's home time, everyone has left, I thought you'd have left too, I got a bit busy with work." He pouted.

"It's okay, I got busy with my thoughts." I giggled.

"Come on, I'll take you home." He held his hand out to me, I grabbed it and stood up, grabbing my bag and phone from the desk, I followed him to the parking lot, he unlocked his car and we both got inside, but instead of starting it and driving off, he just sat there looking at me.

"What?" I asked awkwardly.

"If it's not too intrusive, may I ask what thoughts were you having about me?" He bit his lower lip nervously.

"I was just wondering... in case I'm in love with you, how will I know it? Will there be signs? Will someone tell me? How did you know you were in love with me?" I looked at him in confusion, maybe he could help me with this.

"I don't really know... you just know it, something in your mind or heart tells you and you know it, it's hard to explain."

"Ohh." I sighed.

"Hey, there's no pressure Khushi, I'm not asking you to fall in love with me right away... it takes time, especially after you've been through a lot in your previous relationship, so relax." He smiled making me feel a bit relieved, I was just starting to wonder if my heart was capable of love or not.

I mean look at this perfect guy seated beside me, who wouldn't fall in love with him right? I know I was going to, I just wasn't patient enough because I was worried deep down, what if I don't?

He finally turned on the car and started driving, I kept on looking at him, staring at him, he looked so perfect, the light beard he had on his face made him look so freaking hot, I couldn't take my eyes off his handsome face.

How come I had never looked at him like this when we were in college?

"Hey, I know I'm hot but I'm a bit conscious too, why are you looking at me like that?" He asked.

"Just... admiring you, wondering how I managed to find such a hot boyfriend." I giggled.

"So far, you've just seen the hotness my love, wait until you feel it." He winked at me.

Wait, did he mean what I thought he meant? Jeez, why did that give me such a strong adrenaline rush, it was like my whole body was electrified.

I couldn't say anything else after that, I pretty much stayed silent and he did too, he even looked worried thinking I might have been offended by what he had said so he remained silent too until we got home.

He parked the car outside my house and looked at me with a smile.

"So... I'll see you? Shit! I forgot to tell you, I took leave from work for a work, Anjali's wedding is end of this week and I'm going to be super busy preparing for it, that means I won't get to see you tomorrow." He pouted like a small baby, I loved how he was used to seeing me daily that the idea of not being able to see me was making him sad.

"It's okay, I understand you'll have a lot to do."

"You know you're invited to the wedding right? I'm sure Anjali has even sent you the invitation card, you better be there, I could ask you to come and stay at my place for the wedding days but neither of our parents will agree." He pouted.

"I know, it would be fun if we'd get to stay together for a day or two right?"

"Exactly."

"Will I get to see you in before the wedding? I can't go four-five days without seeing you either." I pouted. I was just as used to seeing him like he was to seeing me, I was going to be restless without seeing him.

"I can't promise, I might get really busy." He pouted.

"I'll miss you." I said looking sad, I didn't want to go a day without seeing him, how was I going to spend four days without seeing him? It dint sound fair.

"Okay, how about I come with you inside while you freshen up, I'll sit around with your mom and sister, get ready, we go for a date to keep us going the next four days?" He asked with a cute smile.

"That sounds a bit better." I finally smiled, we both stepped out of the car and headed towards the door, I rang the doorbell and waited for mom to open the door but she didn't.

I tried once more but no one opened the door, so I had to shuffle through my bag to find the extra keys I kept for times like these, once I found the key, I unlocked the door and Arnav and I walked in.

I found a note stuck to the fridge from mom that read 'hey, sudden dinner plans with friends, cook something for yourself, I'll be late, love mom.'

I sighed as I sat down on the sofa and wondered where Piya was, so I grabbed my phone and texted her while Arnav sat down opposite me.

"Where you?" I typed the text and sent it.

"Staying over at a friend's, dint mom tell you?"

"Nope, anyway was just checking up, have fun."

"Would say you too, but what fun will you have with mom... lol"

"Mom is gone for dinner with her friends, she'll be back late, you know it's always midnight when she comes from such dinners. I guess I'll just have fun alone."

"Or a better idea, invite Arnav, I won't tell mom if you don't *wink face*"

"And what fun will I have with Arnav?" I sent the text the regretted it immediately, of course Arnav and I could do a lot, like watch a movie together, cook together or do something, why didn't I think of that before sending the text.

"I'm your younger sister, I shouldn't be telling you what kind of fun you can have with your boyfriend when you're home alone with him."

Jeez! Sometimes she can be so dirty! I rolled my eyes and decided not to reply to her text, I looked at Arnav and sighed.

"Mom is gone for dinner with her friends, Piya is gone for stayover at her friend's house, it's just us here, should we still go for the date or we can cook here together, it will be fun"

"I don't mind it, as long as I get time to spend with you." He smiled.

"Perfect, let me freshen up and then we can decide on what to cook."

He nodded as I smiled and grabbed my things taking them to my room, I placed everything on my bed and tied up my hair into a bun so I could take a quick shower when my phone beeped, I grabbed it and opened the text Piya had sent.

"Don't leave me on read!!! Also seriously, stop being so boring and invite Arnav, I'm not joking!"

"Leave me alone." I typed and sent the message. Why was she giving me such stupid advise though, seriously? I mean I know Piya and I were poles apart, I was a simple person she was so extra and she was way more open minded than I was.

So when she said I should invite Arnav and have fun, I clearly knew what she meant in her dirty little head, but I wasn't even sure if I was ready for any of it.

Okay, see she had gotten into my head, now I was thinking about it.

"Hey, don't be so rude. I'm just a huge fan of you two, I don't want you being unromantic to ruin it. Kidding, you can just invite him and do boring things with him, like play board games or something, might help with the not falling in love part, you never know."

Okay, don't judge me, I really dint have any close friends, so anything that bothered me, I'd sometimes share it with Piya, she was younger than me but she understood such things better than I did, but there was no way I was going to tell her that Arnav was already here, she would make it all so dirty.

"I'll think about it, now leave me alone!"

"Fine, boring woman!"

I threw my phone on the bed and headed inside the bathroom, I stood under the shower and turned it on, and I immediately let out a scream, holy hell that was some cold water!

"You okay Khushi?" I immediately heard Arnav's voice.

"Yeah, I forgot to turn on the geyser. The switch is near the door, would you please turn it on?" I asked.

"Sure." I heard him, while I stood in the shivering in cold waiting for the water to heat up, damn this Piya got into my mind that I literally forgot to turn the geyser on.

"Is the shower instant?" I heard his voice from the outside.

"No, I'll have to wait a couple minutes until the water heats up." I replied. Why did it have to be so cold today, and why did I have to forget to turn on the geyser in such a cold day? Nothing was going my way today.

"You sure you okay? You must be freezing." Arnav asked worriedly.

"I'm fine don't worry." I lied. It was cute how he was just worried about me, even though it was just cold water, I mean not such a big deal. He really cared about me.

I didn't hear his voice again for the next couple minutes and somehow I got worried, maybe he's gone back to the hall, but why did I want for him to stay in the room while I showered? I swear this had something to do with Piya, I wished I had never texted her, now I was feeling all sorts of strange feelings and I didn't know how to stop them.

"Arnav?" I called out his name to make sure if he was still there.

"Yes." I got an immediate reply, which helped me relax, he's still here, I even smiled a bit.

"I thought you went back to the hall."

"Do you want me to?" he asked. He's so considerate, are you sure you are not in love with him already Khushi?

"No." I replied nervously and bite my lip, oh God, what was happening to me?

I turned the shower on hoping it would help calm the strange thoughts and sensations I was feeling.

I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around myself ready to step out, and it makes me nervous knowing Arnav is there, in my bedroom, how will he react on seeing me like this? Why do I want him to see me like this? What the hell was happening to me?

Let's just say, the shower didn't help with calming me, the sensations I was feeling were just stronger now, they were making me so nervous. An hour ago, I was worried whether or not I'd fall for Arnav, and now here I was feeling completely different.

Why did Piya have to tell me all that dirty stuff, look how it was making me feel now, it was like I had no control over what I was feeling right now.

I inhaled a deep breath and opened the door as I walked out, Arnav was seated on my bed staring at his phone, when I stepped out, he lifted his head up and looked at me, his eyes opened wide and even his mouth opened up a bit.

Okay, now I was feeling a little shy, what should a do? I think he sensed it, because he turned to look the opposite way immediately. This was such a stupid idea, Arnav and I had been together for like three four months, we were not ready for this level of intimacy yet.

I quickly grabbed something from my cupboard and got dressed in it, but then I was too nervous to turn around and look at him, oh god, what must he be thinking of me? Walking out of shower like this while he was in my room?

Okay Khushi, stop overthinking everything, just turn around and face him, he's your boyfriend, it's okay if he sees you in just a towel, as long as you weren't completely naked, there's nothing to worry about.

So I master the courage to finally turn around as face him, as soon as I do that, he paces towards me, pushes me to the cupboard and pins me on it smashing his lips on mine, for a moment there I'm left confused, it takes me time to realize what's happening.

He kisses me so wildly, as if he's never kissed me before, it's so deep and passionate, and it just multiplies all the sensations I had been feeling by a thousand.

I moan out his name without wanting to and he immediately stops kissing me and takes a step backward, he looks at me in confusion, and I look back at him the same way. Why did he stop?

When I don't say anything, I guess he takes it as a hint and moves closer to me once again, this time he does it slowly though, and this time he does go for my lips but for my neck.

Holy mother of God, what are you doing to me Arnav?

"Do you want me to stop?" He asks pressing his lips back on my neck, it takes me a while to answer because I need to catch my breath, I need to come to terms with the way his lips are making me feel.

"No." I reply, as soon as those words leave my mouth, he grabbed both my hands, put them together and pins them on top of me holding them with his hand, with his other hand, he lifts my leg up and positions himself between me and attacks on my neck again.

How did I go from wondering whether I was in love with him to almost making love with him? This doesn't make sense at all. What's happening to me? Why do I feel like my body is on fire and why is it all yearning for him?

Is this love or lust? God help me.