I was quite surprised when she stopped beside me as usual, it was as if last night hadn't happened at all, was it a dream? Somebody pinch me please.

"Hey." She smiled at me faintly, yup last night definitely happened, the expressions on her face said it all.

"Hi..." I stood up straight and smiled back.

"I wanted to apologize for running away like that, it wasn't fair to you. I am really sorry Arnav, it's just... what you said, kind of scared me." She pouted.

"It's okay, I get it." I said still trying to maintain the fake smile on my face and act all normal.

"Look Arnav, I understand what you're feeling, but I hope you would understand that I don't feel the same towards you. Look I really don't want these feelings to come in between us, we had just started becoming friends, I would like it if we remained friends.

That's if you are okay with it and you fell comfortable with it. I just loved hanging out with you, Manav and Ansh, you guys made me forget my problems, you made me smile, you did a lot for me, and I don't want to lose that."

"Of course... of course we can be friends Bindiya. After you left, I was scared that we weren't going to be friends even."

"You calling me Bindiya says we can still be friends." She smiled.

"I will always call you Bindiya." I laughed.

"Anyway, I have to go to class, I'll see you at lunch okay?" She smiled, I nodded as she walked away leaving me alone there, Ansh and Manav came rushing towards me once she was gone.

"Looking at you two still talking, we're assuming the date and the confession of your undying love for her went really great." Ansh teased.

"Looks like it, the both of them couldn't stop smiling." Manav said.

"I really wish it was that... but it isn't. Nothing went well." I shrugged as I started walking away but as if they were going to let me go without spilling all the details to them.

They followed me and kept on asking questions so I had to explaining everything to them, my confession, Khushi's rejection and how she ran away and why she was apologizing and everything.

They seemed pretty shocked, it was as if they were expecting some positive news, a part of me always knew she wasn't going to feel anything towards me, and a part of me dint want to let go without trying.

Well, I tried all I could and if it dint work, maybe it wasn't destined to be, there wasn't much I could do about it that just accept it.

"Anyway, I'll get to class, we've got exams coming up pretty soon." I said as I walked away from Ansh an Manav, I dint want to stay there because they were going to look at me in pity or something, I dint want that, I just wanted everything to be normal, as if my confession had never happened.

Ansh followed me immediately as Manav headed to his class, we both settled down in our usual place, I stared at the board silently waiting for the lecturer to arrive while Ansh kept staring at me.

"What man?" I looked at him feeling angry.

"I'm just trying to see if you're okay or not."

"I am... I'm perfectly fine. If I wasn't okay, I would be at home in my room crying or something. I am okay Ansh, stop staring at me like that and just be normal please." I replied angrily.

"Fine dude, chill." He said as he raised both his hands up in the air. Gladly the lecturer walked in immediately so there wasn't going to be any more conversation between me and Ansh.

*****

At lunch time, as usually we gathered in the canteen at our usual table, Khushi hadn't joined us yet and although she did tell me in the morning that she still wanted to be friends and all that, I was worried that maybe she would change her mind.

"Maybe she's not coming, we should order our food." Ansh said.

"She did say she wanted to hang out with us." I said still hoping she would come.

"Well then she can order what she wants when she comes, I'm hungry, I'm going to place the order." Ansh said as she stood up and walked away.

"You sure, you're okay man?" Manav asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Can you just stop asking me the same question, it isn't going to change my answer. Now can we talk about something else please?" I said feeling irritated.

Since we came here this was like the third time they were asking me I was okay, I just wanted to be in peace for a moment and not worry about whatever had already happened.

"Hey guys." Khushi's voice distracted me from the anger that was building up in my mind.

"Hey." I smiled excitedly at her, she came. I was thinking she wouldn't but she came. Maybe my feelings weren't going to come in the way, I was so glad that we could still be friends.

"Did you tell Ansh to order food for you? He's just gone to place the order." I asked.

"Yeah I did." She smiled.

"So how was your class today?" Manav asked trying to make things as normal as possible, I kind of appreciated it.

Khushi immediately started telling him how her lecturer and a girl from her class got into an argument and how entertaining it was for the rest of the class but I couldn't even pay attention to that, I just kept on staring at her, admiring her.

The way her lips moved when she talked, the way her hair would fall on her face and she would frown a bit and tuck it behind her ears, the sparkle in her eyes, her beautiful smile...

It somehow did hurt, knowing how much I admired her, loved her but none of it was ever going to be reciprocated.

How was I even supposed to come to terms with the fact that the girl I loved dint love me back, how was I supposed to deal with that pain, how was I supposed to move on from it when every time I looked at her, I fell in love with her again.

I grabbed my phone and tried to do anything on it that would distract me and I wouldn't stare at her but somehow, I ended up staring at her.

How was I supposed to stop falling in love with her?

Falling in love was one thing, but not having your love reciprocated had to hurt the worst of all, because deep down, there was always going to be a hope in your heart, that one day it might be reciprocated and every day, the hope had to shatter.

How was I really supposed to move on from this one-sided love of mine? How?

Ansh walked back with our food and placed it on the table, he settled down and started eating, he seemed really hungry. I started eating immediately too so I could avoid looking much at her or any conversations.

A part of me really did want for us to be friends and hang out together, but a part of me was also scared of looking at her, because every time I did, the feelings came rushing back and I dint know how to stop them.

I dint know how to make my heart understand that it wasn't ever going to get love in return so it should stop loving.

Ansh, Manav and Khushi were continuously talking about things and I dint even pay attention to any of it, usually I was the one to talk a lot but today I was silent.

I dint even know what to say, I was scared if I opened my mouth I would say something and scare her of and she wouldn't want to be friends with me, so I chose silence, maybe it was going to help.

"You're awfully silent today Arnav, what's up?" Khushi looked at me curiously.

"Nothing... just worried about exams. I've got a short time left and I haven't even started preparing for it. If I don't pass I'll have to redo the whole year." I lied. I mean of course I couldn't tell her that I was hurting, it would make her sad, I dint want to make her sad.

I wanted for her to be happy and smiling always.

"Don't worry, you can start reading now and revising, I'm sure you'll do great. Ansh, aren't you worried about your exams?" Khushi turned to look at him.

"Nope, I'm going to kill it." Ansh said making the all of us laugh and all I could concentrate on even now was how beautiful her laugher was. Oh God. Somebody help me.