"No, we can fix this" Harry pleaded me with his sad green eyes, grabbing my upper arm, too firmly.

"Let go of me Harry, You're hurting me!" I yelled at him. And slapped him, without even noticing what I was doing. I was shocked by my reaction to his assault but he was tightening my arm too strongly, and it was marking, bruising. So the only instinct that I had was to get away from him, by all means.

"Sorry, I'm sorry" after realizing what he was doing he released me, immediately, with confused eyes. Showing how desperate he was. He looked shocked because of my gesture, and so did I.

I was demeaning myself doing this. How did we hit the rock bottom that hard?

His hands on his head, he looked at the sand, and at the sea, turning his body to look away from me, nervously.

I was crying the hell out of me. It was like I'd be stabbed in the stomach for the hundredth time, and they were turning the knife in the wound, repeatedly. All the cells of my body were in sour. What he confessed was too much to handle. How could he do that to me, that piece of information almost killed me last year. The mess that had invaded me life afterwards, and how bad I sank. I'd never felt that betrayed, until now. It was happening again. But this time he won't have me. I won't sink.

Whether he didn't want to be with me, he could have been honest and even if I'd have been hurt, it would have been easier to process.

"I can't lose you" Harry came over me, and locked his eyes with mine. Scared, after dropping the bombshell.

"It's too late" I whispered. There was no way I'd keep speaking and seeing him after what he did to me.

"No it's not" he yelled in confusion, and I was so tired of all the yelling, and crying. I'd been through too much, he had to stop playing with my feelings. My head started spinning, and I felt dizzy. My blood pressure kept decreasing, and I felt like I could faint.

"What the hell is going on" I heard Louis' voice, coming from behind me, so I turned my head, to look at him.

Louis and Niall were running after us. Out of breath, they were such in a rush. They must have witnessed what was going on, from their seats, and understood that it was not going well. That was an understatement...

Their presence cheered me up, but oddly, I felt weaker than ever. My surroundings became blurry, and I couldn't stand on my feet anymore. My breath changed, and I couldn't breathe properly anymore. I was having a panic attack.

"Niall" I whispered, cried, and turned on my heels to face him.

The expression on Niall's face changed from questioning to worry at the sight of my exhausted demeanor. My arms were crossed over my chest, as I was holding it to make it hurt less, pointlessly, and I ended on my knees. I couldn't stay up on my legs anymore.

"What happened?" Niall asked, as he bent down, to look at me in the eyes. He lifted my chin with the tip of his forefinger. But I remained speechless. I couldn't speak.

Where should I even start?

"What the hell did you do to her?" Louis groaned, his eyebrows furrowed. Looking back and forth between Harry and I. His hand on my shoulder, as he was standing up beside me.

"He" I started saying. But I stopped, taking a long deep breath to continue. My lungs hurt, because it took effort to breathe. "He lied" I said, gripped to Niall's arm, as I was getting up from the sand. Dusting myself slowly. Niall hold be to stay balanced.

He was so sweet. Niall is the sweetest human being.

"What does she mean?" Niall asked Harry, accusingly. His gaze on him, while his hands were holding me.

Harry's both arms were on both sides of his waist, nonchalantly.

"I don't have to tell you" he retorted. Could he just admit when he was wrong, and facing the consequences of his actions? He was probably too ashamed of himself, and didn't want to talk about it in front of his bandmates.

Stop being a coward Harry.

"He didn't cheat on me" I finally split it up, in low voice. My body was shaking. I felt cold, and the slight blow coming from the sea didn't help my current state.

The guys were flabbergasted at the revelation, and looked at Harry with disapproving look. Shaking their heads.

"This is wrong mate" Louis snapped. Walking over Harry, after checking on me.

"Don't meddle in things that are none of your business Louis" Harry replied, and Louis face changed, getting angry.

"None on my business? You keep screwing with her for so long Harry, don't you see what you're doing to her?" he stood for me, as I was resting myself in Niall's arms, who was waiting for Louis to leave, dumbstruck. I was relying on Niall's shoulder, and cried in the crook of his neck.

"Shut up" Harry snapped, but Louis didn't react. He was too disappointed in Harry, and decided to not say anything else, that he could regret.

"We're leaving" Louis said, after turning on his heels, and headed over Niall and I. And we start walking, leaving Harry by himself, at the spot of the beach, dumbfounded.

I was happy that they wouldn't argue with him, it was useless, and all I needed at the moment was to get out of here.

How lucky was I to have such good friends.

**

We came back to the hotel, and Niall let me sleep with him in his room. His presence was comforting me, and helped me to fall asleep. I slept like a rock, as I was exhausted. Like all the energy I had had been drained. Louis came to check on me several times, as he looked so worried about me. I couldn't blame them for being worried, because I was in a terrible shape.

The next morning, I felt better. It wasn't that complicated to feel better. As awkward as it seemed. It hurt, but it was liberating, knowing how Harry was selfish. He doesn't respect me, he respects nobody but himself. To be honest, I was now hating myself for making excuses for himself, trying to forgive him whatever he was doing to me. Now it was clear in my mind, it was crystal clear, that Harry and I had nothing to do together anymore, as friends, or more.

It would be complicated to adjust things, only seeing the guys, but I couldn't keep seeing him anymore. I would have to live a life, avoiding him, for my own sake.

Then end of Harry and I wouldn't mean the end of Louis, Liam, and Niall and I. According to their reaction last night, it was now obvious that they wouldn't let me down. And I couldn't feel more relieved.

**

I went to sit with Louis and Niall at the table. Liam and Harry weren't there. To eat my breakfast. I was starving and needed food.

"Feeling okay?" Louis asked, and I nodded. Actually, I meant it, I was now okay.

"I feel like I'm free now. Last year, I didn't know what I did wrong, to make him hook up with another girl, now I know that I hadn't done anything, that he was just a selfish person, who was thinking about himself first" I sighed. "I'm moving on, no coming back" I announced. And they both nodded in agreement, giving me their blessing for breaking all the ties with Harry. Because they knew that was I was going to do. I had no other choice.

We stayed there, mostly in silence, as last night was demanding, enjoying the summer day coming ahead of us. We tried to chat about light subjects, and it worked. There was no way my problems with Harry would create problems between them, it would be unfair, to everyone. So I wouldn't say too much, not wanting the guys to choose side.

**

After eating my breakfast with Louis and Niall, Liam nowhere to be found. Maybe he found a girl last night. I went to lay down on my bed, the window opened, letting the slight air coming from the beach, entering in my room. It was enjoyable, to relax, listening to the sound of the waves from inside, seeing the curtains flying slightly.

My phone beeped from the nightstand and I turned around to grab it, as I was resting on my back. I'd received a text, and Harry's name appeared above the envelop icon. I felt a sting in my stomach, not knowing if I should read it or not. Harry texting me was not something he did much. After last night, maybe I just shouldn't read it. At least for now.

But I couldn't help it. Sighing, I unlocked the screen, and pressed on the envelop to read his text. It was pretty short.

From Harry: Go to my room, and look at the nightstand. H.

Narrowed eyebrows, he got me confused. What did he want? Start a treasure hunt?

Getting up from the bed, I headed to his bedroom, walking barefoot on the tiles floor, crossing the hotel suit.

Cracking the door open, I noticed that the room was empty. It was obvious that he was gone, and I felt my stomach flinched.

All of his stuff were gone, and the room was clean, bed unmade. Knowing how Harry was messy, the sensation of seeing the room like this felt weird.

Something was missing.

Someone was missing.

Walking in the room, I went to the bed, and sat on the edge of the bed, noticing the white envelop on the nightstand, against the lamp. My name written on it.

Grabbing it, I took a breath before opening it.

Harry had written me a letter.

Seeing his handwriting made a pearl of tear escaping from my eye.

My heart was heavy, and I took a long deep breath before starting reading it. I was already sure that it would be sensitive.

Emma,

I couldn't say I'm sorry enough, for what I did to you. I felt like a selfish bastard right now, and you're right to think such a thing about me, maybe you'll find harsher words, and I won't blame you for that.

The expression on Louis and Niall's eyes were showing me how far I went. It's crazy how long it took me to realize that. I should have known it when I looked into your eyes.

It's odd, but somehow, I've always thought that you'll always be there for me, that nothing could break us, for good. I was wrong, so wrong.

But now it's obvious that you don't want to see me again. I saw it in your eyes. But I truly hope that we'll be able to move pass this. 

I'd never wanted you to learn the truth that way. I know, that, now, you must think that I'd never respected you, or had feelings for you.

But you're wrong. So wrong.

I wish I was able to express myself, to express my real feelings for you, but I'm just unable to do it, directly, facing you. I don't want to confuse you even more. But maybe it's time for you to listen to our songs, my songs, differently. They express a lot about you, a lot of things that I was able to write thanks to you, to us. Unable to say them out loud, for you.

I know I'd crossed the line. That you are at the breaking point when it comes to me, to us.

But I truly hope that you'll find the way, to forgive me, someday.

I don't want to write you an entire book, but I felt the need to, at least, let you know that there's more, under the façade.

I know I broke you, I broke us.

I can fix this. I can fix you, I can fix us, if you let me.

Please Emma, come back to me.

Forgive me.

I'll give you the time you need.  

I'll wait. As long as it takes.

H.

early update! but i was happy about that chap. What do you guys think? I might update only next week cause it'll take some time to write, as nothing is written yet. Love you guys for reading, voting and commenting. Thank you for all the support. LOVE