"Damn I don't want to read anymore!" you silently complained as you loked dizzily at the thick book you had been reading for the past thirty minutes. There would be a quiz in your major subject but you didn't have the motivation to study today.

You leaned on your chair as you looked outside the window. The weather was nice and you should be outside yet you were stuck inside the library. Reading outside would only cause you distraction.

While you were in a daze, daydreaming about incoherent stuff, Jaemin entered the library to borrow some books. He saw you right away, sitting near the window, breeze gently blowing while bathing under the streams of glowing sunlight. A small smile made its way on his pinkish lips.

He went to the shelf to pick up the books he needed and went to your table. He was planning to read it at home but he saw an opportunity to spend time with you.

As a friend, of course.

You heard the chair screeched across you and looked at the person who just joined your table. You almost fell off your chair when you saw Jaemin.

"Hi!" you said, almost breathless.

"Hello," he greeted back and opened the book, his elbow propped on the table as his chin rested on his palm.

You were mesmerized at how beautiful he was. He was only doing a simple task that normal people do yet he managed to make it look gorgeous.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, confuse.

You immediately woke up from the trance as you remembered where you were and who you were staring at. "Nothing. I didn't know you could read." That was a lame reply but Jaemin smirked.

"A library is a place to read, not for staring into spaces."

"But I'm too lazy to study," you whined and you slumped your face on the book. Jaemin's lips curved into a smile as he watched you whine like a child. It made him remember the old days. You'd complain and he would do something to cheer you up.

"What do you want to do?"

"I wanted to go outside. The weather is so nice today but I have to study here instead."

"Let's go outside then," he said. Your head snapped at him, refusing to believe what he had just said. His face was dead serious. "What?"

"Don't tempt me. I need to study."

"You can't learn anything if your mind will not cooperate."

He had a point, though you couldn't be swayed that easily.

"What if I get a low score?"

"A low score won't kill you in college. If you fail, at least you got to enjoy the nice weather. The calm before the storm, that's what they would say."

You rolled your eyes at him. "Really, Jaemin? You're very helpful, aren't you?" you said sarcastically.

He raised his eyebrows and puffed his chest as if he was proud. "You're welcome."

"If I failed, it's your fault," you said, standing up from the cushioned chair and stretching your limbs.

"Good luck explaining that to our professor," he replied before snatching the book on your table and closing it. Before leaving the library, he filled up the library card first and left with the borrowed books.

"Where should we go?" you asked, following his tracks and watching his broad back. He had gotten so tall and lean, his veins showing up on his arms and hands, almost like a grown man.

"Do you want to just sit or roam around the campus?"

"How about we roam around first and then when we're too tired, let's go to the benches and sit?"

"Let's go then," he looked back at you and smiled, catching you off guard and making your breath hitch.

You were drunk and it was dark when he smiled at you last time. But looking at him smiling under the sunlight and warm weather, something inside you stirred.

"What are you waiting for? I thought you wanted to walk around?" he asked a few seconds later, realizing that you stopped following him. You woke up from the trance that this man had trapped you inside.

"Oh, yeah, wait for me!" you replied and you jogged towards him and continued your exploration together.

While you walk side by side, people couldn't help but follow the two of you with their curious gazes. At that moment, nothing else mattered as a warm fuzzy feeling enveloped you like a comfortable blanket. It was the feeling of familiarity that put you at ease.

"Since we're friends now, how about we get to know each other?" you asked.

Jaemin froze. This was the moment he had been dreading. The reason why he wanted to stay away from you. He didn't want you digging up on his life and find out that he didn't meet your expectations. You noticed Jaemin's sudden change in behavior.

"Don't worry, no personal questions. Let's just share the things that we like and dislike," you said. Jaemin became comfortable again but his guard was up.

"You first," he said.

"I am an only daughter of my parents."

"I thought no personal information?"

"That's about me, though. I'm comfortable enough to share that info, especially since we're friends from now on. I wanted you to know that my father is strict so the first thing he would think when he'll see us is that you're my boyfriend."

He knew it already, how your father treasured you a lot. And how he could be so protective of his only daughter. He wished he had a father like that but he didn't comment anything.

"I love coffee. I can't function without coffee."

"I already observed that one," you said.

"But you don't know I drink six cups of coffee a day."

"You what?!" you exclaimed. "Drink six cups? You wanted to die?"

"I told you, I can't function without coffee."

"That's addiction already! Who the hell drinks six cups of coffee a day? Let alone that poisoned drink you ordered the first time we met."

"It's an iced Americano, FYI."

"More like the souls of dead people. Dude, that coffee was dark as hell."

The two of you bickered a lot about stuff that weren't really important. He listened to you intently while you were telling him an information about you. Meanwhile, he was careful with the words he use when it was his turn to talk. He couldn't afford to leave loose ends that you might tug.

You had been walking for two hours and you started to feel your feet ache. Your pace slowed until you were left behind Jaemin's long strides who didn't even break into sweat.

"Wait, Jaemin!" you called him. He turned around and saw you slumped on the floor.

"What is it?" he asked worriedly as he jogged towards you.

"My feet hurt already. We should take a rest," you said. You looked around and saw a nearby bench under the shade of a large tree. You carefully stood up and Jaemin's hand wrapped around your arm to assist you. The unsettling feeling was there again, but it wasn't unpleasant.

"Wait here, okay?" Jaemin said.

"Where are you going?" you asked.

"I'm just going to buy food for us. I'm starving."

"But I'm not. Just go buy your own."

"Then when I didn't buy you something, you'll realize you're hungry and force me to share my food to you? Not a chance. Now sit there and wait for me."

He didn't let you talk back when he turned around and left. You sat there, admiring the view ahead. You watched as your fellow students walk back and forth or just sit there while soaking under the sunlight. Some of them even set up a picnic. It was a nice day after all, and it was worth not being stuck in the library. You rested your head on the bench and closed your eyes. Not long after, exhaustion consumed you and you fell into a peaceful sleep.

Jaemin bought a bunch of different food: ham and cheese sandwiches, chicken bread roll, doughnuts, chocolate bars, soda, and iced coffee. When he arrived, he caught you sleeping with your mouth wide open.

"Why is she so careless?" he muttered under his breath. "Sleeping in a public place, letting her guard down. Tsk!"

Jaemin took off his jacket and put it on you to cover your body. You didn't budge or move at all, you were sleeping like a rock.

"Wake up!" Jaemin whispered and snapped his fingers in front of your face. He slightly shook your shoulder which only caused your head to fall on his shoulder, leaning your entire weight on him.

"Hey! You're so heavy!" he tried to push you away but he couldn't. In the end, he let out a defeated sigh and let you stay like that for a while. If he was being honest, the weight was nothing to him. What bothered him the most was the fluttering sensation in his chest, it was foreign and rare, and it almost physically hurt him to be this close to you.

His hand moved on its own as he reach out to touch your face but he stopped the last minute. You were asleep, he wouldn't touch you without your permission.

"I missed you," he whispered and only he could here it. "I'm glad you grew up well. At least one of us did." He took a deep breath as he leaned on the bench, watching the view ahead of him after making sure that you were still in a deep sleep. "I wish I could tell you who I am, but a lot of things had happened. A lot of things are holding me back. I'm okay as long as you'll still be my friend. Not as Nana, but as Na Jaemin."

And suddenly, you were back again in your hometown, sleeping under the cherry blossom tree with your head resting on his shoulder, sleeping side by side. It was a happy memory that Jaemin felt guilty holding on to. He always denied being Nana yet he kept and treasured Nana's memories of you.

Meanwhile, Giselle was walking down the path to the field, humming to herself when she saw two familiar figures sitting beside each other. At first, she simply shrugged it off.

Probably a couple, she thought. But when she got closer, her eyes widened in recognition.

"(Name)! Jaemin!"

Jaemin's head snapped towards Giselle and he saw the look of shock on her face. He knew he was doing nothing wrong but he felt like he got caught red-handed. Beside him, you didn't eve move an inch.

"Giselle," he said.

Giselle walked towards him, pointing an accusing finger. "Are you two dating?"

Jaemin sighed. "She's asleep, don't be so loud."

Giselle looked at you, sleeping like a dead log. She checked your breathing if you were still alive. "What happened?" she asked.

"She doesn't want to study at the library because it's a nice weather outside. We roamed around the school for hours and when she got tired she fell asleep," Jaemin explained then pointed to the paper bag of food he bought. "She hasn't eaten anything and fell asleep right away."

Giselle didn't doubt Jaemin. She couldn't explain it but she knew that even though Jaemin was as cold as ice, you could trust him enough.

"Do you have somewhere to go to? I can switch your place, I have a two hour vacant period."

Jaemin's chest felt heavy at the thought of leaving you. However, it wouldn't be good for the both of you if many students saw the two of you. They had been so invested in your lives lately and everything you did was a hot topic for the student body to discuss.

"Yeah, I have to find Jeno," Jaemin answered. He slowly lifted your head and stood up, Giselle replacing his seat. He slowly put your head on Giselle's shoulder without waking you up. "Make sure she eats something when she wakes up. I have to go."

Jaemin walked away, Giselle giving him a suspicious gaze. "I didn't know he was a caring person," she said and shrugged.

Thirty minutes after Jaemin left, you woke up.

"You're sleeping as if you were dead," a female voice said beside you. Still feeling groggy, you looked up and didn't see the familiar black-haired boy. Instead, it was Giselle.

"Where's Jaemin?" was the first thing you said.

"He left thirty minutes ago," Giselle said and you fought the urge to be disappointed. Today was your lucky day that you finally had the chance to talk to him alone yet you fell asleep the moment your ass sat on the bench.

"Oh..."

"Disappointed?"

"No! Of course not!" you lied. You didn't think if it was convincing enough but Giselle didn't ask further.

"What's the deal between you and Jaemin? That man built walls around himself, he doesn't interact too much with other people, then I saw you two sitting earlier, you were leaning on his shoulder. Man, he even bought you food! What's the deal?"

Should I tell him about Nana? you contemplated. At that moment, telling Giselle was not a bad idea. What could you lose?

And so you did.

You told her about your childhood friend who looks just like Na Jaemin and it happened to be not him, how you met each other for the first time at Starbuxcks, how he kept denying that he's not Nana, how he offered you friendship during the welcome party (not detailed though), and why you two got here. All the time, Giselle was listening intently.

"So, you're telling me that you're convinced that he's Nana?" Giselle asked and you nodded. "That's a huge coincidence if that's the case. Again, if."

"You know, I won't really let my assumptions die down. But if he says he's not Nana then I will respect it."

"Maybe he's hiding the fact that he's your childhood friend?" Giselle guessed. It was a ridiculous hunch for you at the moment.

"Why would he do that though? What could he gain from lying?"

Giselle shrugged her shoulders. "It's just a guess. The truth will always resurface no matter how much you bury it."

And that was something Jaemin hadn't thought about.

The next day, you woke up with a searing pain in your abdomen, like a thousand sharp needles pricking your insides. It was that time of the month again. You forcefully got up to prepare for today's class while hissing in pain. Giselle gave you a hot pack and medicine and she's looking worriedly at you every time you move.

"Are you sure you don't want to take an absence today?" Giselle asked.

You shook your head slowly while struggling to put on your shoes. "No, I have a quiz on our major subject today. I can't miss it."

The only thing Giselle could do was help you with the small tasks because you were on the verge of crying, all these hormones making you emotional over everything while you're under an excruciating pain.

And some men thought we're just being dramatic, you thought angrily. Every minor inconvenience angered you, something that Giselle had never seen yet she was having fun seeing the new side of you. However, she was careful not to do something that would cause you to direct your anger at her.

"Are you sure you'll be fine?" Giselle asked.

"Yes, don't worry about me. I've been going through this pain for almost a decade," you answered. The two of you went on your separate ways and you walked down the familiar hallway to your classroom with a furrowed brows, cold beads of sweats peppering your forehead, an arm wrapped around your stomach and the other tightly gripping the strap of your bag.

When you entered the classroom, you saw Jaemin and Jeno sitting in front, chatting casually. Jaemin caught sight of you and he immediately notice your pained expression. He confirmed something was wrong when you walked past his seat without greeting them 'good morning'.

"What's wrong with her..." Jaemin muttered.

"Why do you keep asking me? We're literally together since this morning," Jeno answered.

"I'm not asking you, dumbass! I'm talking to myself," Jaemin retorted before snapping his head back to your direction, your head slumped on the table.

"Is she okay?"

"Why are you asking—"

"The question is not for you!"

Meanwhile, while you were slumped on the table, Haechan arrived. He greeted everyone he saw and the noise irritated you. You heard the chair screeched beside you followed by a thud.

"Good morning!" he greeted you, too loud for your liking. You let out a grunt as a response. "Yoohoo! Are you in there?" Haechan asked and knocked at your head. He was entering a dangerous territory and he didn't know.

"Stop!" you grumbled irritatedly which only caused Haechan to tease you more.

"What's got you in a sour mood?" he asked but you didn't answer.

He signed a death wish for himself when he tried to tickle you on your waist. On normal days, that would have tickled you, but right now, you were ready to commit murder. You slowly got up and turned around, facing Haechan. You gave him the coldest and deadliest glare you could muster.

"Touch me again and I will cut your head off," you threatened in a low, menacing voice he had never heard before. Haechan was taken aback by your behavior. You took that opportunity to slump on your table again and waited for the professor to arrive.

After the quiz, you couldn't take it anymore. You went to the clinic to lie down for a little while. No matter how much in pain you were, you didn't take any medicine. You didn't want to rely on its temporary comfort.

"I don't want to be a woman anymore."

"If I could rip out my uterus, I would."

"Why does having a period have to hurt?"

Those were the words you utter while you writhe in pain.

Meanwhile, Jaemin was looking for you.

"Let's go to the next class, we'll be late," Jeno told Jaemin while organizing his stuff.

Jaemin craned his neck, looking for you but he didn't catch sight even your shadow. He couldn't help but get worried.

"Hey!" Jeno nudged him and that's when he finally looked at his best friend. "What's the matter?"

"I don't see (Name)," Jaemin said.

"She probably went to her next class."

"But I didn't hear Haechan's voice talking to her. That man is so loud, he could shout her name all day," Jaemin replied. "She's not feeling well either."

Jeno crossed his arms, his biceps flexing. They heard a few 'ooh's and 'ahh's from the people watching them. "Why are you so worried?"

Jaemin glared at him. "Of course I'll be worried! I'm her—" He wasn't able to finish his sentence.

Was friend too casual? Too comfortable?

They had just started talking to each other, wasn't it too early to be called her friend? But wasn't that the purpose why they're talking again.

Then he remembered your appearance when you entered the classroom. You were leaning over a little while clutching your stomach. You were also irritable. Jaemin put the pieces together and was able to solve the puzzle.

"She's on her period..."

"What?"

Jaemin tapped Jeno's shoulder. "Go to class without me."

"Huh? Wait—"

"I'll call you!"

Jaemin didn't wait for Jeno's response and sprinted outside to buy your necessities. He wasn't an expert when it came to things like this but he knew the basics. He went to the convenience store and raided the pads and tampons section before going to the food section, filling his basket with all of your favorite food.

When he dumped the contents on the counter, the cashier was shocked.

Especially when she saw the tampons and pads.

When he left the store, it sparked another rumor about him but he didn't care. At the moment, all he could care about was you.

He ran around the campus, looking for you. He went to the library, to the cafe and stalls, everywhere he thought you could be but you weren't there. He finally stopped in front of the door of the clinic, worn out from all the running he did.

"I'm just... gonna... take a rest..."

He pushed the door open and didn't find the nurse. That's good, he couldn't think of any excuse to go there. He was about to sit on one of the beds when he saw someone lying across it, sleeping soundly. It was you.

"I looked everywhere for you and here you are..." Jaemin muttered under his breath. Walking towards you and sitting on the bed beside yours, he studied your features. Your face wasn't contorted in pain anymore, found peace in deep sleep. He put the paper bag of the stuff he bought as he took his time to watch over you. He smiled when you stirred a little and snuggled in your soft pillow.

Later when you woke up, you would wonder who put those pads and tampons and a bunch of food beside your table.