"No. No, no, no, no!" Dreamz squeaked, throwing the stuff in her room around as she desperately searched for the only two things that she loved most in the world; her laptop and her headphones. She had fell asleep writing her TMNT fanfiction last night at around 1 and woke up to her headphones missing from around her neck and her lap empty of her laptop.

Tears were starting to build in her eyes as she fell to her knees, gripping her hair desperately as she tried to think of what happened to her precious belongings. She knew that somebody had taken it, but she couldn't think of anyone who would stoop so low as to steal her children. Not even Prussia had a dark enough heart to do such a thing. It was pure evil, like Satan himself had spawned somebody just for the purpose of stealing her babies.

She staggered up, ready to continue her search, when she spotted something white sticking out from under her pillow. Quickly, she snatched it, ripping open the envelope and unfolding the paper.

Dear Dreamz

It was written in perfect cursive.

Undoubtedly by now, you have realized that we have taken your laptop and headphones from you. You may believe this will send us to Hell, but we're sure that God will get a kick out of what we're about to do, so it'll be okay.

In the bathroom, you will find a box. Put on the outfit inside, and you will have your laptop returned to you.

Refuse to wear the outfit, and we place the laptop in a bathtub.

Your's truly,
LOL YOU WISH WE WOULD TELL YOU

"I'm... Being blackmailed?" Dreamz seethed, crumpling the paper in her hands angrily. How dare someone have the audacity to try to get leverage on her by stealing her beloved property. She would never stoop that low. She was better than that. She was a strong, independent woman who would not be controlled by some freaks behind a piece of paper.

...

Who was she kidding? She would do anything to get her laptop back.

She ran to the bathroom, and sure enough, there was a package sitting in the middle of the cold, tiled floor. She removed the lid quickly, backing up slightly to properly observe the outfit.

"... Bloody hell."

~~ 15 minutes later ~~

Germany sat in his chair, leaned back against the cushion, yet his posture was still erect. His right leg was crossed over his left casually, a newspaper unfolded in his hands as he read about the recent news through his glasses.

"You know, Ludy, there is this awesome thing called the Internet- I mean, it is not as awesome as me, but there is only so much the flimsy paper can do. Anyways, it has all the news you could ever want to read about, and it doesn't make me look like you belong to the 20th century." He cackled as he rubbed the top of Gilbird's head with his forefinger.

"I happen to like reading my news on the paper, Gilbert." The blonde country muttered, turning the page slowly. "But thanks for the advice."

Suddenly, Prussia burst out laughing, throwing his entire body back as he practically screamed. Germany looked up in annoyance, and his older brother slowly lifted his finger to point at something in the doorway of the hallway, although he couldn't keep the finger up for long, given he was still shaking way too hard from his laughter.

"What are you-" Ludwig had began to mutter, following his brother's fingers to the object in the doorway.

Well, it wasn't an object, but rather, a person. Dreamz stood in the doorway, dressed in a short, black maids dress that fit the upper half of her body rather tightly, but was extremely frilly and fluffy under the bottom half. She had a small, white apron tied around her waist, and white gloves on her hands. Her usually messy hair was pulled up in a bun, and had a classic maid hat placed on her head.

She cleared her throat, her face as red as her hair as she forced herself to wave the duster she had clutched in her hands. "Guten tag, Ludwig. I heard you called for my services." Her voice almost trembled with effort to say the awful words that had been given for her to say.

"GOOD GOD DREAMZ YOU LOOK LIKE ONE OF THE GIRLS LUDY READS ABOUT IN HIS EROTIC FANFICTIONS!" Prussia was practically crying now, he was laughing so hard.

Ludwig set down his newspaper, taking a deep, yet shaky breath as he covered his face, which was red enough to match his brother's irises. "Dreamz, why are you dressed like that..?" He muttered through his hands.

Dreamz was shaking as well. "I just want my laptop back." She whispered. "I'm gonna go now."

"WAIT DREAMZ I THINK YOU SHOULD GO CLEAN WEST'S ROOM I'LL SEND HIM IN RIGHT AFTER YOU!" Prussia screamed. At that, Dreamz turned and flipped off the former country, storming off to her room.

Sitting on her bed was her laptop.

"Sweet Jesus, my baby!" She cried, practically leaping forward and cradling her device in her arms. When she did so, a piece of paper fluttered out from between the screen and the keyboard. She picked it up, only to be greeted by penmanship identical to the first blackmail letter.

Dear Dreamz,

You know what? We're impressed. We weren't quite sure you'd be desperate enough to do that. Of course, for your bravery, you've been awarded back your laptop.

Then... There's the issue of your headphones. If you want those back, you'll have to wear the second outfit that also waits you in the bathroom.

Love ya,
Sorry we're not stupid enough to tell you

Begrudgingly, Dreamz stormed off to the bathroom, and sure enough, there was an entire new box there, waiting for her. "How the bloody hell is that even possible?" She muttered to herself, before closing the door to change.

~~ Another 15 minutes later ~~

By now, things were almost back to normal in the living room. Ludwig had gone back to his paper, trying to ignore the fact that Dreamz just walked into the room and exploited his little fetish, while Prussia laid on the couch, letting out a snide snicker every few minutes as her carefully brushed Gilbird's feathers with a comb.

This time, no one looked up when Dreamz arrived, so she had to clear her throat to get the Germanic brothers' attention.

Prussia lurched forward, scaring Gilbird as he practically choked on the air he was breathing, while Ludwig covered his mouth, attempting to the best of his ability to stifle a laugh.

Dreamz wasn't dressed in anything provocative. In fact, the only skin visible on her body was her face, for she was dressed in a yellow bird costume that matched Gilbird's color and stature.

Dreamz appeared as though she was ready to die. "Tweet... Tweet tweet tweet." She muttered unenthusiastically. Prussia's face turned bright red and he curled forward, burying his face in the couch cushion as he let out a loud, long, high-pitched scream.

"Okay, that makes me feel much better." Germany stated, smiling as he looked over at his flustered brother. "Was that for your laptop too?"

"No. Headphones." Dreamz muttered in a monotoned voice. She trudged her way back to her room, where she found her headphones on her bed with a third note propped up against them. Her closest door was wide open, as well as her bedroom window.

"Your joking." Dreamz said to herself, her eyes widening in disbelief. The thieves had been in her room the entire time. She reached for the note, and opened it warily, afraid that it might be more blackmail.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Sincerely,
Thing one, two, and three