John Lennon known around the world as a womanizer. No one with that amount of charm and wit could possibly not attract millions of girls around the world. It didn't matter that John was married, nothing stopped him, and to be honest, it made him feel on top of the world every time he said yes to another girl. He felt control and power, where living a life like he did, he didn't have much of it. 

   Being pushed in cars, hidden in hotel rooms, and shoved behind barricades during performances made John feel like a caged animal. It was as if the words "You can look, but not touch" was plastered on his forehead for the world to see, and to disobey. 

   It felt nice to be wanted. Living through a difficult childhood and adolescence of being passed around and abandoned made an impact on John. He craved attention and affection in all forms. Except, however, affection that mirrored insanity, as young girls reached and grabbed at him, seeking souvenirs of hair and clothes. Some days, John would sit in his hotel room, guitar and pencil in hand, songbook within reach, and ponder on the fact that he was still to this day surprised that he was left intact with all his skin.

   It was tiring. The touring. The loneliness. It consumed him, and he sought out releases of this unspoken pain through drugs, lust, and song writing. He had notebooks full of songs that seemed as a cry for help, but no one took it seriously.

   In the studio, no one wanted a mellow, depressing song to be on an album. Speed up the tempo! Change it to a major key! It would sound better, get more money. No one had time to analyze the lyrics. The Beatles were hit makers, not artists. Who cared about emotion and quality when you could have a 2 minute 30 second piece that would sell millions during the pre sale? 

   How could John complain though? He had it all, the money, the fame, and most of all, the girls. He kept his mouth shut and let himself be used as a puppet in the public eye, but behind the scenes, no one said word of any of the band's frivolous behavior.

   No one knew of one Sandra Philips, the young woman that let herself into John's heart, but didn't stay there for long.