Do I Love Her?
Fawad's POV
Unlocking the door I got out of the car. My head was spinning, my legs were shaking. The weather was damn chilly. I looked at myself in the mirror that was placed on the wall of the foyer.
Droplets of sweats felled down from my forehead. My eyes, they have turned red in colour. My hair was sticking out in every possible direction. I ran a hand over my already messed up hair. Taking deep breaths, I rang the doorbell.
As the door opened, a loud cry of the baby echoed across the house. Immediately a smile formed on my lips as I almost ran towards Abaan. I quickly took him in my arms and slowly stroked his back. My heart was filled with warmth as my shoulder relaxed on it's own.
"Why was he crying?" I asked looking at Aapu.
"Great!! Before asking How am I or How was the flight? You chose to asking why is he crying? Seriously?" Aapu asked raising her eyebrows.
I rolled my eyes. "Stop being dramatic."
"Then start giving me importance too!!"
"Stop being childish!!"
"Start giving respect to elders"
"When did I disrespect you?" I was shocked.
"Enough now!!" Mom shouted
"Mom, look how she's blaming me" I said. Mom gave a good look to my sitster and she just glared back at me.
Stepping out of the shower, I stared at myself in the mirror. Seher's face flashed before my eyes, her laugh especially.
"I know you're angry with me, I broke your trust, but I needed that money. I know you would have given me the money if I would have asked you but I just did the opposite. I don't have anything much to say, It's better for me that I leave and this would be best for us too."
How can she say that it's best for us? How? But then again why did she stole the money? Why didn't she told me once also that she needed the money? I wouldn't have said No to her neither would have asked her anything.
After changing into my lower and a tshirt, I sat down on my bed. I shouldn't have met her today. This shouldn't have happened. I was fine without seeing her, but now I'm a mess and she being pregnant isn't helping me at all.
She looked so stressed. She looked tired. She needed to rest and there she was working her ass off!! But then again I was to be blamed. If it wasn't me, then, she would have been here, beside me.
"Busy?" Aapu asked
"No" I said.
She came and sat down beside me.
"How's everything?" I asked
"Good."
"What about you Fawad?"
"Everything's normal." I smiled.
"How's Seher?" She asked out of nowhere.
"I don't know." I lied.
"You met her? Don't you?" She asked.
"Why would I meet her? I don't love her." I replied
"I didn't asked that you love her or not" She said and I groaned.
"That's good that you accepted yourself"
"It's nothing like that."
"How's Seher, Fawad?"
"She's pregnant."
"I knew it."
"What?"
"Yes"
"And you hide it from me?"
"She wanted me to..."
"Aapu, I have the every right to know!!" I was angry.
"Ofcourse you have, Fawad. But, here, she was right. The day she found out, that day only, she called me. She was confused, Fawad. She was happy but she didn't had you beside her when she needed you the most!!"
"So, it's my fault?"
"I won't say it's your fault but the way you reacted was absolutely wrong. She can never do such thing and you also know that very well." Aapu raised her voice a bit.
"Wasn't she suppose to tell me once also about it?"
"I'm sure she must have her reasons, Fawad. Otherwise as much as I've known her, she's a gem!!"
"Yeah, right!!"
"She made you fall for her, what more you need?"
I was coughing now.
"What rubbish!!"
"Keep on denying, but you also know the truth, Fawad. If she hasn't had effect on you then you would have been living your life like before. You wouldn't wanted to get married in the first place but then you did and she has become a part of you, Fawad."
"Aapu, you need to take rest."
"And you need to accept it. Don't take too long that she forgets what you are to her."
With that she left. I know what I have to do.
Thirty minutes later, I was standing outside her apartment, arguing with myself to knock or not. Finally, I decided to knock and in no time she was standing right in front of me.
"Fawad?" She was surprised.
"Can I come in?" I asked her.
"Yeah, sure." She said stepping aside. "Do you want anything?" She asked
"Yes".
"Coffee?"
"No. You!!"
"Fawad, you should rest"
"Seher, you should be doing this. You need rest."
"I am taking care of myself, Fawad. This is what I've been doing from the last seven months." She replied
"You're coming with me"
"As your wife or theif?"
"Seher..."
"I want an answer"
"We're still together" I said
"Are you upset about it?" She questioned back.
"Why are you saying like this?" I was irritated
"Then how you want me to frame it Fawad? Why do you want me suddenly?" She asked
"I'm not bound to answer you" I yelled.
"Then how the hell you thought that I was bound to tell you everything" She sceamed back. Within seconds, I was gripping her arms tightly but instead of pain, I saw fire blazing in her eyes.
"It doesn't hurt me anymore, Fawad".
My grip loosened. "Everything comes down to me, right?" I said brushing back my hair.
"I don't know!!"
"Then what do you know? Don't you see that I'm the Villain in every thing? You became pregnant, you didn't told me. Why? Because, I fucking don't deserve to know it. Just because, I wanted to know the reason and you gave me every right to be mad at you, made me the bad guy?" I said.
"I've never made you the villain or the bad guy."
"Then why the hell am I suffering? You know how I feel every second, every day and every night? Do you have even a slightest of idea also that what I went through when I heard that you're not living in your old house? God damn!! I missed you, Seher. I missed you. And that evening, when I saw you with that guy, it blew me off totally." I closed my eyes to calm down myself a little.
"Even I wasn't happy, Fawad. I told you I Love You, so just imagine how I've spent my days without you by my side. You know after my Mom's death, I had never felt this emptiness what I felt in these days." Tears escaped her eyes.
"Why didn't you came back? It's not that I had stopped you from coming back?"
"But you didn't even stopped me from leaving" she replied
"Seher, please.."
"You're doing this just for the sake of your child"
"No...I'm doing this for both of you." I quickly replied.
"Well let's just say, that no one does anything without any feelings. You don't have feelings for me, so it's simple you're doing this for your child."
"Of course, I do..."
"Fawad, What?"
Do I really Love Her?
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