#1

Dad: Who taught you how to write letters?

Noble: No one. Why?

Dad: You don't write "Dear Parents,".

Noble: Then what do I write?

Dad: I don't know? "Dear Mom and Dad". You might as well have said, "To Whom it May Concern".

Kandi: That seems like something she would do.

#2

Kandi: *is hyper*

Noble: *is standing there*

Kandi: *nearly chokes Noble with an elastic band*

Cabin Mates: *looks at Kandi*

Kandi: *starts laughing hysterically for two minutes straight*

Cabin Mates: *afraid of me*

Noble: Seriously? I'm trying to read here.

#3

Councilor: *is talking about plane rides*

Kandi: Don't they get really mad if you take scissors on an airport?

Councilor: Yeah.

Kandi: Do they really think you're going to kill someone with scissors.

Councilor: That's why you put you're weapons in the luggage.

Noble: Why would I have weapons.

Councilor: I don't know. My friend once brought a machete on a plane. He put it in his luggage.

Noble: Okay...

Councilor: And that brings us to our first life lesson; If you want to kill somebody with a machete, don't do it on a plane. Because they'll take the machete away and you'll have nothing to them with.

Kandi: I will take note of this for future reference.

Other Councilor: [Councilor's Real Name], they're eleven!

Councilor: My life lessons are the best out there!

#4

Kandi: *is listing methods of how to kill people in the bathroom out of boredom*

Councilor: Hi girls! What are you talking about.

Noble: *tells her how to electrocute someone*

Councilor: Life lesson number two; Killing is frowned upon by many!

Kandi: I had no idea.

#5

*at orientation*

Kandi: *turns to the boy next to her* Be ready for a year full of sarcasm and witty remarks!

Boy: *doesn't give a f*ck*

#6

Kandi: *is trying to name all the people in her advocacy group and reaches Noble*. This is so hard. I honestly have no idea. Is it [Insert mispronunciation of Noble's real name]?

Girl Next to Me: Is that actually her name?

Yes, these are all true.