Act II, Chapter Five

"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." - Albert Camus, The Fall

. . .

My body felt heavy. Exhaustion was such a tricky thing. When I felt small circles on my back in the same respectful manner I was starting to grow used to, I knew he was real and next to me. I was grounded by him, his scent, the hard muscles of his chest and arms before my eyes could open.

Jimin laid next to me awake. Sunlight fluttered inside past the curtains that failed to cover my bedroom windows. The light beamed directly to my face, making the soft delight of waking up even harder. I scrunch my nose and heard a soft sigh from beside me.

"Cute." His voice, gentle, relieved, and pretty.

It was a trouble to see him. His skin glowed under the rays of the sun, the slight line teasing the way sensed his chest gently rising up and down. His breathing measured under the weight of my hand that rested on his chest. I cuddled his body, and the second my mind came to, I knew it was because he pulled me close to him in his sleep. Jimin cuddled what was close, I noted this the first time it happened to me.

Unlike the last time, he didn't move away harsh or distant. Although there was a tense aura radiating and fighting inside, I could see hesitation in his eyes again. The same expression I couldn't read. The more I stared at him, and he blinked over at me, I found the sleepiness to fade away and be consumed by his presence only.

"Good morning."

Jimin smiled. "Afternoon. It's 1 p.m., we slept in."

I pulled away from him slightly, unsure over why this hesitant expression on his face made my insides turn in confusion and a want to protect myself. It was an instinct gut feeling, something seemed wrong. As I positioned myself away from Jimin, I noticed the slightest frown spring on his lips.

"When did you wake up?"

"About a few minutes before you." His sleepy eyes stared around the room, I followed his cute stature. Our clothes were on the ground in different placements, my teddy thrown to a corner with my book close by my feet if I were to get up from the bed. An inner sheet which normally warmed me like a second blanket was on the ground, Jimin's condom wrapper on top of it.

The sight of it made me blush, every flash of excitement from the previous night clouding in on me, caving in. From the start of the sex, to the very end when Jimin finished. The speed of time erased possibility, having us in each other's command and control until the darkest of night and earliest of morning.

The best night of my life.

"That was..." Jimin let out a breath. "Quite a night."

I hugged the seat to my naked chest, noting the ravaging of bodies resulted in both of us naked next to each other by the end of it. Explored and consumed, each of us getting the fix they needed. A chapter of tease fulfilled and at its end.

It took me a few breaths to notice Jimin staring. When I caught him, he glanced away. Hesitantly leaning in to kiss the curve of my shoulder, he told me he'll make breakfast. I agreed, placing the softest smile I could and focusing back to the race of my heart.

Jimin stood and I tried my hardest not to look at him put on his joggers. I always knew some men were at their peaks in the mornings, but seeing it first hand, another hard in Jimin's pants made my mouth drier than usual. I forced myself to look away and wait for him to leave the room.

I heard the sink's tap run and got up myself. Dragging the sheet with me, I walked to the window and felt the goosebumps behind my neck perk when looking at the bushes. It was then, the horniness no longer clouding my mind when I searched for any intrusive clues from the Deities. Please, I hope last night wasn't seen by them. I closed the curtains in a whip, quick when seeing no new tulips. Taking that as a good sign, I managed my breathing and went to brush my teeth.

Jimin walked back into the room as I went to my bathroom. Leaving the door open to hear him clean my space, he picked up my clothes, his shirt, the condom wrapper, and the sheets. Making my bed for me, I tried my hardest to focus on brushing my teeth and not the shadows of his shirtless form.

Bed head, sleepy eyes, soft skin, and low hanging joggers, Jimin knocked on the door and asked for the sheet I still clung to myself.

I spit the remainder of my toothpaste, glancing at my own woken state with hickies plastered about on my neck. Breathing wafting into a new trance of lightness at the touch of the marks of his sex, I opened the door to the bathroom fully, chest fluttering as I gave the man least expecting my invitation the sheet.

It hit his chest before fumbling to the ground, Jimin's reflexes distracted by the curve of my stripped body. The bulge of his joggers pulsing to be seen again, the blush on Jimin's face no longer able to hide his clear want.

I sat on the cleared bathroom counter, letting my finger guide my wishes for where I wanted him to stand. Jimin, in a nervousness entirely different from his confidence from last night, manoeuvred inside the bathroom door.

He walked in and stood in front of me. I took his hands and watched his eyes, most of his nervousness now transferring to me.

I pecked his lips, pulled back, screaming for reassurance as if I never kissed him before. The morning after, a different feeling, more vulnerable and knowing if a second time were to happen, there would be no escaping a conversation which had to follow.

"Are you well rested?" Jimin said. Not the reassurance I expected, but it was one I got. There was a sweetness to the question and I couldn't comprehend why his attitude shifted so much in the matter of a night.

"A little tired if I'm being honest." I hugged his shoulders, feeling his hands handle my legs to spread open on the counter.

"Did you wan-"

I kissed him as an answer, only to follow it with a nod and dive in for another kiss. The urgency hit Jimin like a bus, immediate and instant. His finger dove between my legs and I breathed into his ear.

A phase of pretty words aroused the surrounding air, only to follow us later into the shower where Jimin made me scream and I had him groan a climax into the drain. The soft wetness of wet skin, hugging, clinging and kissing.

Our bodies stayed busy in bed after the shower.

Jimin made breakfast, bringing it to me, where we both fuelled and I touched him for a third wave of lustful wish. The day was a blur, bodies tongue-tied and the clean bedroom now once again, a mess to clean at a logical time.

Not a time full of emotions, my emotions, truthfully spilled at every peek of my climax when I told Jimin my like for him, my care for him, and what made us both stop in the evening when I said, "I want this forever."

His distance came with that look in his eyes, the one I couldn't solve. Jimin fingered me the last time, 4 p.m., a long wrap around in bed after I got down on my knees for him, and he allowed himself to finish in my mouth.

Heaving, sweaty, and needing another shower, we laid in each other's arms wide awake and aware. Without speaking, I could've sworn at a point his lips traced the top of my hair to kiss.

"You're really sweet." Jimin kissed my cheek, asking what I wanted for a late lunch at 4:30 p.m. "It's been surprising me...how naively trusting you are."

I grew shy. "I have a good feeling about you, about us."

I couldn't read him with his back to me, but I did notice the slight tense nature of his shoulder blades again as he walked out the bedroom to make lunch.

Getting out of bed, I managed to find a change of clothes for the day, promising myself mentally to take care of Jimin by showing gratitude. I'll make us dinner tonight.

Before I left the bedroom, leaving the teasing memories of last night and the day today playing in quarters in my mind, I glanced at the window and swallowed the small doubt of worry which lurked. One explainable thought circled in my head as I closed the door to meet the savoury food and handsome man downstairs.

I can trust Jimin, right?

. . .

Eating breakfast beside him was a little different now. Staring away from my plate and over to the noodles on his, Jimin ate slowly too. When we caught eyes, we'd look away quickly. He spoke first, sitting next to me fully clothed, and yet I remembered what was underneath and couldn't stop imagining. He asked me how I felt, I answered truthfully and said I felt more awake than before. Then I asked him the same, and he murmured something about being tired rather than awake. Conversation went to the weather today, then to the weather the whole week.

I hate this so much. Groaning mentally, I looked to the living room space as it was, side-glancing to the blanket from the night before messily laid on the couch, it had something on top of it. Playing lazily with my food, I stopped completely when noticing another blanket folded on the messy one from the previous night.

The sinking in my gut I tried to bury came forward when I saw my Dad's blanket from his office. The last I gave it to Jimin was before he started sleeping on the ground of my room. I had taken it back and secured it back on Dad's desk over his loose files. Heart racing within my chest, I tried to stabilize my voice as I shifted back in my chair. I acted as if I didn't see the blanket, knowing I wasn't the one to bring it out again. I hadn't gone to the office since.

"When did you say you woke up this morning?"

Jimin looked away from the phone that buzzed in his pocket. Finishing up his food, he made a little noise and I asked again as casually as possible.

"Oh about a half and hour before you, why?" Jimin's focus was deep in the texts that flooded his screen.

The feeling in my gut was fed. He told me he woke up a few minutes before me. I tried my hardest to ease the suspicion in my gut, forcing myself to avoid the blanket on the couch. Maybe a few minutes to him is 30 minutes? I frowned into my half plate of noodles, not able to believe my own attempt to lie.

"Jimin, can we-"

The phone assigned to the both of us rang. Jimin glanced down at the food I sulked in front of before talking into the phone. "Yeah brother," he said. Namjoon's voice hollered from the other end, I perked up, listening in.

"It's done. The traps are set. I'm on my way to pick the two of you up, if it weren't for you complete your mission we wouldn't get this far. Did you find the-" Namjoon's voice from the phone was cut off as Jimin started saying yes into the phone, giving me a tight smile as he walked away from his chair and over into the hallway.

One thought. Mission? What mission? What did he get done? My gut already knew a possible answer. With Jimin's back turned, I looked at the blanket, then the locked door with the pincode only I knew.

The pin was Bucky's birthday.

A birthday I jokingly shared with Jimin last night, when he asked me to tell stories about my Dad for his 'surprise,' for his 'date.' Oh, no, please no. My stomach curled in devastation, nausea taking over as I pushed the thought of being used, tricked, and manipulated for a passcode out of my head.

I told myself Jimin liked me too, he was with me and did things to me because he had feelings. He had to, right? My world crashed, the hesitating look in his eyes the previous night, this morning. To add gasoline to the fire that stirred within me, the moment he asked me if I liked him and I said I did. I shared my feelings many times our night and day together... But he never said he liked me back? Oh! please, no.

Jimin was still on his call as I ran to the nearest bathroom. Moving around him in the hallway to get there, I opened the door, closed it as quickly behind me as I could and hurled whatever I managed to eat for the day. It came once, then again. Felt like a loop of never-ending nausea.

When the third hurl ended, I flushed the toilet and sank to the ground. I heard his knocks on the door, asking me with a gentle and calm voice if I was okay. In the midst of my sickness I didn't hear the last of his conversation with Namjoon. I felt an urge to yell at him, to stop his caring sound and quit the fake persona.

"Are you okay? Did you need help?" Jimin cursed under his breath. "Shit, did the noodles not sit well with you?"

Concern. So much of it. I felt like crying, wanting to believe his voice and his words but the gut feeling itched fair too strongly. Holding myself up from the ground, I rinsed my mouth with water, washed my hands and mustered the courage to open the door.

I only did it when no more gurgling erupted in my stomach. When I knew I could hold a gentle face back, fake just as perfectly sweetness as he did for me. But still, even after the overthinking of events, there was the voice of my heart that told me no. Jimin wouldn't do that. The question I ask my heart though is, which Jimin is real? The one that validated my feelings and changed my perspective on him, on us...was he even real?

Opening the door to see his eyes, dark and handsome yet softened with a sweetness that hugged me with just a gaze. Jimin's mouth moved to ask me if I was okay again and I forced a smile, nodding. He reached out to hold my arm, help me out of the room but I flinched away.

The surprise at my jolt was obvious to the both of us. I played it off with a smile, talking about how I didn't want to get germs on him. Jimin nodded slowly, trying to catch my eyes that didn't dare look at him for too long.

I mumbled my need to go upstairs and brush my teeth again. He gave me room to move, only to have me stop mid-step when he informed me of his conversation with Namjoon.

"He's on his way. There's been movement in the plan." Then he smiled so large, hopeful. "We're getting Jungkook tonight, looks like our date yesterday really distracted the Deities long enough. This is almost over!"

I wanted to smile back but couldn't. I nodded, looked away and repeated the last of what he said in my mind. The excitement that went along with it. This is almost over! Was I the pawn to a bigger plan? What was his mission? Was he excited to get his brother back and never have to see me again?

Brooding over to my bedroom and feeling the nausea creep back from the memories in the room that I now tried to compress, I brushed my teeth. Near the end of it, I heard the front door open and Jimin celebrated small wins with his section that came inside the house.

My ears focused on the celebration downstairs, while my eyes stayed on the covered window in my bedroom. Fear announced my every step, a call of intuition telling me to turn my back and live obliviously. I argued against it, moving to open the curtains, look out into the sun and feel the warmth serve as protection for what was to come. I looked at the bushes. Two new tulips. Two notes.

I opened the window, then the screen. Reaching my hand out to be pricked by the clean edges of the freshly trimmed bushes, I took hold of the tulips and looked around for those who may have left it.

One breath. I held it to read the first note. 'Now that's what we've wanted to see. A Cred doing as he's told. Didn't know what you saw in her until we witnessed it for ourselves.'

Second breath. Blurred vision of tears, hurt, and embarrassment clouded the second note. 'The backyard didn't make the cut, but the opened curtains were good enough. The show's over, we believe you now.'

Violated. Broken trust, false narratives. I closed the window quickly, thrashing the curtains in place resulting in a tulip to lose a few petals.

Anger came after sadness. Possibly a mix of both. Overwhelming emotion flashed blackness before my eyes as I ran out of my room and to the celebration in my living room.

I was ready to tear them all into pieces, Jimin being the first.

. . .

YouTube: justravs writes / justravs reads
Twitter: ravsisrekt
IG: justravs