Act II, Chapter Three

"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage." - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

. . .

Three weeks since the orange tulip was found at the window. Namjoon came to the house with his section, each investigating specific entries any Deities member may have access to. New locks were put in again, one key shared between Jimin and me.

"Don't leave the house without Jimin by your side, understand?" Yoongi said the first week, after the check was complete.

Taehyung, the one in an arm sling and cast now said, "I'd like any electronics or laptops you have. In case. If you need to call your Mom, do it with the phone I've given Jimin. It's safer."

A prison is what home felt like. Although being stuck here would've driven many mad, I was able to face the realities of Dad's death. The smells in his Office, his old books, the ink from his fountain pens, his old sweaters still in his room. It no longer bothered me.

It took me a while to finally enter Dad's room and open his wardrobe. Crying surrounding a mountain of his clothes, each weep after the other started to feel like a release rather than a reaction to being upset. Once the end of the month came, I knew I wasn't okay with having Dad gone from my life, but I was on the way to living without him around.

Having Jimin around wasn't bad either.

The first week was chaos and preoccupied checking and peeling of window curtains. Jimin seemed overprotective and pressured to keep the house secure when his section wasn't around. He didn't sleep much on my bedroom floor, I could see the tiredness in his eyes more than usual.

The second week, he eased himself by relishing in the liquor Hoseok brought by in their check-in. He laughed with Taehyung, the rest of the men laughing and hollering at each other too. I stayed in my room and read, trying not to watch the window which was blocked off with a black-out curtain under cream ones.

Namjoon had come to my door, making me jump. His calm smile made me return one, telling him to sit comfortably. He sat by my feet asking me how I was. I wondered if he was drunk and laughed, shaking his head. Someone had to be the designated driver. I found comfort in the man as he pointed at my book and asked questions.

"How's everything going with your plan?" I said.

"It's going slow, but well..." He chuckled. "I let Jimin in on a new change of plans, hopefully he remembers the next morning."

"You can tell me? I'll remind him?"

Namjoon smiled a little less. "Now that won't be necessary."

I felt my throat tighten.

"I wanted to ask something," Namjoon said. "This is our second check-in and there's one room my section hasn't been able to access. For safety precautions, I was wondering if you knew the code to your Dad's office? If there were entrances we didn't know about to secure there?"

I stared at him hard. "I uh, from my knowledge the only way to come into that room is from the locked door. No other entrances, so I'm not too worried about it."

"Did you know the passcode?"

I refrained from narrowing my eyes at him. "No."

He smiled again but it wasn't the same. Pointing at my book as he got up, I closed it and gave it in his palm. "Read it," I said. My lips hurt from forcing my joy. "I think you'll like it."

Jimin slept better the nights after seeing his friends. We barely talked, and when we did it was about discussing food. When we did eat, I'd go into my room or my Dad's and stay there. Away from the man I was cooped into the house with, unable to get away from.

The third week consisted of Jimin smiling a lot. I didn't understand it but the way his teeth shined in my direction every morning made me smile back. He asked me to watch a movie with him in the living room mid-week, and I was excited. It had been a while since we turned on the television, I'd read, write in my journal, or sleep. We both decided on watching Netflix, and instead of deciding on a show it resulted in scrolling.

Mostly by me, I couldn't decide on one thing.

As his thumb pressed buttons, his attention was on me and not the screen. "We've been living in the same house, I'm in your room half the day and for some reason, we don't talk?"

"I've been a little preoccupied getting used to the space again."

He nodded, giving up on the controller. Jimin asked if I wanted beer. I sighed with a familiarity, strung out from saying no the last time I agreed. He brought over two glass bottles, cold as ever and leaking water droplets on the cushion pillow I had protecting my thighs.

Jimin sat right beside me this time, arm on the couch's part I leaned on. He smiled, clinking his opened bottle with my closed one. "What?"

I struggled to try to open it. Jimin watched in amusement, and it was then I knew he did it on purpose. Shoving it into his chest, I asked for help without saying words. I studied his blade be pulled from it's handle, the lid popping up into the air above me before landing by my feet. I tried not staring at the weapon for long before he put it back in its home.

"Thanks." I took a long gulp.

"Easy," he said. "What's the rush?"

"I guess there is none. Not like we have anywhere to go?"

The man pursed his lips for a moment. "Tomorrow. Let's go out on a date. I'll plan it so that we give those watching enough of a show, only to end off in an intimate private sphere. Give the Deities and my section the distraction they want, but also be able to enjoy ourselves for a change? What do you say?"

His eyes were brighter. He's sleeping better. Lips full as he smiled with the cutest dimple lines crowning his nose. Jimin had a way of speaking which pulled any women out of reality and an existence that only encompassed two: him and me. It worked at Jordan's party when I was years younger but his gravitating eyes and boyish smile couldn't win this time.

Mom said she didn't blame me if my old feelings were back. The innocent and distant crushing, the daydreams and giggles after interactions. Those emotions, although called "puppy love" to some, became something more the night I left. It was no longer puppy love but forcefully pushed into a greater care and worry about another. I regretted leaving for a split moment, knowing not only would I leave my parents behind but leave the thought of Jimin behind...replaced by the last interaction I had with him.

The morning after Jordan's party made me understand I was not a child, but a woman entering a world with no desires but wanting love. It's what I craved. I always craved. From some more than others.

"Before I say yes to any date, I think we should talk about the unanswered question between us." I shifted in my seat to face the man closer.

Jimin rolled his eyes. "No. I don't hate you Ein."

"Then why call me that? You say it with such distaste as if I'm the reason your life has turned out the way it has."

"It's a defence mechanism."

"To what?"

He sighed. "I don't wanna get close. It only reminds me you've got everything I don't. Better to alienate people like you."

"People like me?" My brow arched. "You weren't thinking that way the morning after, now were you?"

Jimin half-smiled, pressing the bottle to his lips. He drank fast, chugging the entire drink down before letting it sit on the coffee table without a coaster. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Wouldn't you like to clear the air?" My once irritated voice dimmed to a natural awkwardness. "Explain yourself? Say sorry?"

He snorted. "Sorry? Why would I say that?"

"You're unbelievable. We said things we didn't mean that last day, practically strangers one minute and the next-" I nibbled my lip. Taking down the rest of my own drink, I tried not to choke on the fizz that dared me to spit out. If he wished to play oblivious and immature, I'd strap in for the game.

"We're weird aren't we." Jimin turned to face me. "Our dynamic, it's one thing in my life I've never been able to understand. How one minute we're so close, friends even, and the next we're strangers."

"It's because of you!"

"I always thought you hated me growing up." Jimin shrugged.

I glared at him. "We both know I didn't hate you."

The man nodded. "Well, I was sure you hated me after that day, considering what happened."

I did, for a while. It wasn't hatred, it was sadness and a deep hole of reconsidering why I liked Jimin. Revisiting how the changes in Jimin, I dived in only to find myself drowning in what I found. In high school, I crushed on the thought and image of him I created in my head, not who he truly was. Jordan's party, my last day with my peers, and with Jimin, a boy I obsessed over was proof of my delusion.

"I was sad, but no. If anything, your situation made it hard to hate you." I shrugged and the soft presence in his eyes when he saw me cry or hurt surfaced upon his face. Jimin's dark eyes never truly brightened, but when they did it felt like a relief settling on both of our shoulders.

"I was mad at first." He nodded. "But I didn't hold a grudge, I promise you that."

"You didn't?" A sigh left me.

"No. The favour I asked from you wouldn't have changed my situation, it would have dragged you in. Same way Jungkook meddled into my mess."

I tried to meet his eyes but he refrained. Kindness came to a block with him of sorts, a mental one? One of vulnerability? Whichever it was, I allowed myself to comfort him until he'd deny it. Reaching to grab his hand that rested close to my lap, I held it. His stiff body alerted a flinch before he released, giving in to my touch.

"We'll get your friend back." Gentle once catching his eyes. "Let's go on that date and put on a show, yeah?"

Jimin didn't say anything, nor did he smile. His gaze kept going to his hand in mine. It took a while for him to squeeze me back in comfort.

. . .

Jimin slept on the floor of my bedroom again, closest to the window. Every night since the first tulip incident, the gratitude I felt for the man sleeping in ways to protect me were unmatched. I couldn't express my 'thank you' loud enough, and every time I tried, Jimin waved me off. It took noticing of patterns to understand why Jimin reacted the way he did.

Plans, mission, executions: everything that made Jimin a better healer for his members was all he was comfortable with. But when it came to speaking from the heart, talking about his taken friend Jungkook or what happened. He was a closed book. But the look in his eyes showcased he didn't wish to distance himself, that he liked my questions and my intrigue. The same one he had when I held his hand last night.

"Ready?" Jimin said.

Today was date day.

I glanced up at the man who stood on the porch. He wore the darkest green I'd ever seen, the hoodie bigger than his actual form underneath. Jeans tight to his body, a fanny pack draped his chest like a small satchel. His hair messy on his head, I wasn't able to conclude whether it was from the windy air or his fingers that moved through the locks. Was he nervous like I was? I couldn't tell.

Moving out with a nod, I followed him to the sidewalk after locking the door behind us. We put the key in his bag and I got a glimpse of the phone Taehyung had given me access too. It was Jimin's, protected from any hacking measures. I had the sudden urge to call Mom, wondering if she was okay and doing well. I wonder if Namjoon tried asking her about Dad's office code.

Many questions circled my mind as my legs hugged the cloth of my tights from protection of the chill. Jimin had me wear his jacket, a Claim out in the open as we walked. I moved my gaze about, trying to catch sight of any lurkers with shaved heads. The Deities were good at hiding, chameleons on brick walls, no matter which house took my vision I witnessed nothing. Wind and a fairly cloudy sky ahead.

"I thought the weather would be better, sunny."

Jimin nodded. He didn't gaze to the clouds shifting in grey above. His jaw was tight, his muscles tough. The man seemed to be noticing and seeing people I wasn't. I sunk closer to his side.

A loud alarm whipped the air, making us shuffle as we searched beside us to see a cop car. The expression on Jimin's face was close to the one I imagined I had when I first saw the tulip at the window. Moving in front of him, I waited for the blaring sound to stop. It did, but the car's lights didn't. The passenger window rolled down and I ducked, hearing my name being called. The nervousness that sweeped me at first disappeared when I noticed the man with the thick moustache and tired eyes. Officer Morten.

Jimin wiggled the Creds jacket off my shoulders. I jumped at the action at first, only to note the existence of the gang's embroidery linked to the very colours of the leather. It was a giveaway, a red flag if Officer Morten got a glimpse. Watching from the corner of my eye as he folded the jacket in his arms, I leaned my form on the window, dangling myself out as excited bait.

"I was wondering if you were back!" Officer Morten hit my arm playfully from his seat. "I didn't want to come by, knowing you hadn't talked to you about your Dad yet. Was waiting for the A-okay from your Mama."

"Took it pretty hard," I said. "But Mom and I are taking our time to be alone for a while, sorry about that."

He waved at me, moving his face as if offended. "Don't even worry kiddo, I understand. Take all the time but know if the new graduate needs anything, let me know yeah?" He winked in a way my Dad used to when referring to a success of mine, or to tease me and have me hit his arm. My heart dropped remembering my Dad and the man watching my expression softened.

"What're you doing outside? You should head home. It looks like a storm's close today." Then he nudged his head to the side to catch sight of Jimin. "Who's this fella?"

Something in Officer Morten's eyes told me he might already know. But the little glint of confusion is what I rode with. Standing straight and out from leaning against the car, I smiled at Jimin. "Oh my boyfriend, he's taking me out today to distract me. Been cooped up inside."

"Uh huh." The man eyed Jimin who did a little nudge of his head. A nod? A bow? It was a greeting that remained wordless until Officer Morten questioned him. "Where you take her, son?"

Jimin laughed. "I'm trying to be a good boyfriend and surprise her, am I allowed to pass on that question?" His face scrunched.

I glanced down at his knuckles that went under the jacket. Tattoo and branding hidden. I decided to ask my own questions, directing the attention off the 'boyfriend' who twitched in his spot. "Making the rounds out here? I haven't seen cops do that in a while!"

Officer Morten sighed. "Yes, well we've been getting calls from up the street saying there's been 'gang activity'-" he used his fingers to quote, "up here. I thought I'd make my rounds and see what boys these people are talking about."

"The police have been made aware?" I said. I didn't realize I said it out loud until both Jimin and Officer Morten searched me. Men carrying different expressions and questions.

I zoned out, my mind aimlessly finding panicregarding the tulip. The concern I felt when first meeting my Mother. The fright I felt with Jimin's knife at my back after he comforted me on the daisy field. The moments before I saw Jungkook shackled and beaten, dragged by the Deities. A lamb for slaughter. Fear.

These past few weeks had been nothing but that. Why did Jimin say the police couldn't help me? How did they fail my Dad? Why? If I told Officer Morten, I could be in his car, taking him to Mom, and we'd both be sanctioned to a clearing somewhere until things died down.

I wished to curl with my thoughts, snuggled in bed with my head down. The loneliness of a bedroom can get addictive if secluded inside for too long. There was solace in it. I'll tell him. I'll tell Officer Morten, and he can get us away from the Deities. The Department will protect us, won't they?

I felt the warmth of Jimin's hand hold mine. Glancing down to it, I found the alerted eyes of Jimin who begged within grasp. Then I wandered to catch the mouth of Officer Morten moving, but words lost in the wind. Shaking my mind away to focus."

"Mia, I'll ask you one last time. What did you mean by that? Have you seen something as well?" Officer Morten didn't look at me while asking, his gaze fixated on Jimin who got close to my ear.

"Trust me." He said.

Trust him. Jimin's eyes swallowed me whole, squeezing me back to reality with his fingers that held my hand crisply. He knew what I was thinking, knowing my lips wanted security fast at any cost. But one look at him and I remembered my promise to him, my promise to get Jungkook back. If I told Office Morten everything, he would help Mom and me...the whole Department would help us. But they wouldn't help Jimin and the others. They wouldn't help Jungkook.

Dad used to say, "It's how the world works. The rules are different for when you're rich versus when you're poor."

"No Officer, I haven't seen anything personally." I smiled at the man I knew so well, a family friend, an Uncle. Someone close to my Dad in ways in which habits transferred over. "I heard Ms. Miller up the street ranting about gang violence in the grocery store. She had a whole talk with Mom about it, but we didn't think much of it."

It took a while for Officer Morten to nod.

Jimin's body relaxed in a way only I could note, feeling the tension graze the fabric of my top causing me to shiver. Possibly the chill came from the cold I felt without his jacket hugging my shoulders. Whichever it, I knew I wanted to hang under the weight of his arm a little longer. His hand squeezed mine twice and I thought about what each movement could mean.

One squeeze. Thank.

Two squeeze. You.

. . .

Past

Getting into Jordan's backyard suite was easy. How Jimin got hold of the pin was the least of my worries. Especially after seeing the fairy lights, heaters shaped like lanterns ready to thrust fire out in splinters, and an outdoor bed lined with couches to surround it. Trees drowned into the space, holding the lights in place as glass walls were domed behind the bed. Feeling as if Jimin and I entered a glass bedroom in the forest, his words summed it up for me. "This is some rich people shit," he said.

I knew Jordan through my Dad. Her father, an Officer my family knew well would go on joint vacations during the summers because Jordan didn't have any cousins. Officer Morten or my Dad, Jordan and I both understood the values our families held and how similarly we were raised. I hadn't seen her backyard since they started renovating, in a way, I felt bad knowing I wasn't as shocked or surprised to see the final product.

Not as much as drunk Jimin who stared around in awe.

His body slumped on the outer end of a couch, yanking off boots before placing his socks on the sheets of the bed. Treating it like a coffee table, he patted the space next to him. I eased out of my own shoes, narrowing my gaze at him as I took a seat. Far enough to not touch yet be able to hear him loud and clear, even if he whispered.

"I wasn't gonna bite."

"Never know, can't trust me when they're drunk."

He laughed. "Right, because when I'm drunk the first thing I want to do is bite a woman."

"We all know you're part werewolf Jimin."

"How'd you know?" He gasped. Leaning in close to whisper at my shoulder. "Don't be telling the whole school though, I'll have to go on a biting spree to keep my family's secret intact."

Now I laughed. His head fell into my side, giggling into the cloth of my top. Snuggling away and into the couch cushion by my lap, when he stared up, I tried to contain the shivers attacking the space he touched. Then, I found courage to look down at him. His eyes were beautiful upside down, from the side, and when they closed to blink or lay in relaxation. Jimin was beautiful.

"Speaking of family secrets, how is yours? I hear your Mom got a job with the school. That's great." I watched his smile fall as I finished.

He smiled. It was tight but still present. "She's trying."

"You don't sound so pleased."

Jimin sighed. "It's a cycle with her. She's had fourteen jobs this past year, I'm glad I'm leaving the school before she can embarrass me when she fucks up bad enough to get fired."

I tried not picking up the hurt in his voice, avoiding it and hoping I wasn't crossing any boundaries by asking anymore questions. I couldn't help it. "A janitor's position is hard to get fired from? Then again, my assumption."

He shrugged, nestling the top of his hair into the side of my thigh.

"If not fired, she'll quit. I know her."

"How..." I resisted, not knowing if it was smart to say anything more. How can someone talk about their Mom like that? His voice was tired, judgmental and drained. If I ever got caught talking about my Mom that way, it would hurt me more than her.

"Not everyone has perfect relationships with their parents Ein," Jimin said with a wink. As if he read my mind, he grounded his expression into certainty. "My Mom...she has an addiction problem. It was a present way before my Dad passed but only got worse once he left."

"She's been sober long enough to get the position, but she'll relapse."

Monotone. Unfiltered. No emotion. My eyes softened. "Have a little hope Jimin, believe in her."

"I did before growing up." He kept his eyes on the fairy lights, distracting himself from the slurring he did. Fear behind his eyes as he relayed his life in exhaustion. "I'm old enough now to not get my hopes up-" he shrugged, "It's a lost cause anyway, my family and I."

I shook my head, scooting closer so his head could lay on me. He smiled drunkenly as I hesitantly placed my hand in his hair. "No," I said, "Don't think like that. You aren't a lost cause, nor is your Mom. Fourteen jobs in a year, and yet she keeps trying, there's a fight in there you must realize. As much as there's a fight in you."

"Fight in me?" There was no trace of fake smiles on his face anymore.

I nodded. "I've grown to know you from afar Jimin. You're smart, resilient, and don't take shit from people. I noticed it the most when you checked people from talking about your Dad. I always found it brave."

He scoffed. "Brave."

"Yes. Brave."

"I never knew you watched me closely like that," he said.

I blushed, noticing how close I was to the boy. The same boy I could hardly look at in freshman year to now, his head in my lap and my eyes staring down into his. I soothed him. We talked back and forth, and he found comfort in my words. I was optimistic and hopeful, while he looked up with admiration rather than distaste at my hopefulness. Jimin liked that I called him brave. I could see it in his eyes even after he cringed.

Then I repeated it, told him he was a boy many looked up to whether he believed it or not. Becoming half as popular as he had in our school was no ordinary thing. People like me for example, we looked up at those like Jimin who established hierarchies in high school.

Jimin laughed a little. "What we are in high school means nothing in the real world. You're going out into the world, going to get the opportunities to leave and become something more than a girl who grew up in Holloway City. You're going to be fine. Successful? In love in the future? With a bunch of little Ein kids?"

I smiled.

"You've got a good future ahead of you where people like me will then be looking up at you. There's a reason us popular kids call you all Eins, making you feel less than. We don't have anything going for ourselves. No college. No money. We're insecure." Jimin pursed his lips, subjecting a state of depersonalization in his words. "My life is going nowhere."

I furrowed my brows, looking at the way his fingers twitched at his stomach. I took a closer look to his knuckles and noticed the bandaged tape that circled the entire backhand of the boy. Did he injure himself?

"Not true Jimin. You'll make life into what you want it to be. There's goodness everywhere, there is."

"It's easier for you to say, you don't have to pay off drug debt for your Mom's addiction." He went back to closing off, hardness on his face.

"How're you attempting to pay that off?" My eyes widened.

Jimin was a kid, a child like me and yet our lives were different. I had a scholarship, a ticket into any school I wanted and yet, had the privilege of not knowing what I wanted to do. I could choose. Jimin had no choice. Not even if he wanted to. What was his dream? What did he want to be? I didn't ask those questions, not wanting to add gasoline to the flames.

My attention directed to the back of his healing hand, watching his caress the tape that held the white cloth in place. "Not quite sure yet. Need to find a way to get 30k to one of the main suppliers she always ran to. Funny thing is, he's an ex of hers. I swear she only owed him 10k but the bastards were raising the price in threats, a way to manipulate her to get back with him."

My heart sunk. "Horrible..."

"Yeah." He waved, groaning into the air as if wishing to scream loudly.

I wiggled my fingers on his scalp, rubbing closer to his forehead in hopes to catch his eyes. When he did, I smiled and said, "Let's scream."

"Scream?"

"Yes. Loud as we possibly can. It'll feel good after."

Jimin grinned. Genuine and joyful. He sat up beside me, arm hung to grab my hip and pull me close to his side. I refrained from letting heat sting my cheeks again, focusing on the task at hand and not the smell of booze and cologne that wafted off the boy.

"On the count of three?"

I chuckled. "Yes. One, two, thr-"

Jimin started screaming. Instead of hiding my head between my hands, I worked up my own gut and twisted out a shrilling scream of my own. One of frustrations, if I had any, but most of them came from the exhaustion and anger I felt from how different life is for others. Everything I feel is deep and personal, complex and foreign where people feel like side characters to my story. But that isn't true.

People have their own lives, they cry, they face hardships. Many face experiences I couldn't imagine. Some face sadness I couldn't fathom. Some cry and never stop, while others make themselves stop crying all together. I'll go living my life not meeting everyone and hearing their stories. Maybe that's why Jimin is nosy, observant of others and where they're going. The idea of getting to know where people go, how they move and manoeuvre their lives without ever seeing them again. Many stories untold, many we'll never know.

I screamed and hollered until my throat pinched and ached. Jimin seemed to be on the same footing, laughing hysterically by the end as coughs uttered out of him.

"I needed that."

I smiled at the boy. "I had a feeling."

As Jimin settled into the couch behind him, his head dangled on it's side. Lips close enough to kiss my shoulder if he pleased. Slouching my own form down and mimicking his stance, Jimin laughed in my face only to soften the second I let a giggle out of my own.

"I wish I got to know you more."

Every organ within me fluttered. Hearing my name leave his lips, to the care in his eyes. Everything about the statement ached my core, giving my freshman idea of romance and possibilities with my crush a second score.

"I wish you did too. We would've gotten along."

Jimin smiled with a nod. "Maybe I'd land a scholarship if I hung out with you more, loads more studying rather than fooling around and hating life."

I sat up straight. "You know about my scholarship?"

"Everyone does. I figured more about it after talked to our teachers, of course." Jimin raised his hand. "Weird curious observer here."

"It's not weird. I understand why you want to know where everyone's headed."

Jimin nodded. A sad smile formed on his face. "If I can't go anywhere, might as well live vicariously through others."

Sadness. Everything looked dull and gloomy even under the fairy lights.

"Jimin? Is there anyway I can help you?"

His jaw clamped. "I uh-" then he shook his head, laughing to himself in a tight nature. "No, it's fine. I'll be good."

"What is it? Tell me?"

"I've been wanting to ask for a favour. I know you don't know me, nor do you owe me anything-"

"What is it?" My concern sky-rocketed, erasing any chance for logic.

"I wanted to ask for..." His cleared his throat. Sitting up, Jimin looked into my eyes. "I wanted to borrow money from you."

My shoulders slumped. "Is it the 30k?"

His face scrunched. "Yeah. I figured I'd rather owe a person I went to school with than a manipulative drug dealer?"

I processed the request. "Jimin...I don't have that kind of money. I can ask my parents, but-"

"Not this right second, I just, if there was any extra money from your scholarship grants?" Jimin's face pained into a bigger scrunch, his eyes folding into each other. "Sorry, this is ridiculous, I hate that I've had to resort to this. I don't like asking for favours, especially not-"

"Is that why you pulled me aside from the party? You needed to ask me for help?" A part of me hurt knowing Jimin acknowledging me wasn't because he wanted to be freinds, or even better, found me pretty or attractive enough to given attention. It was because he knew I got a scholarship. If Jimin was asking for help, out of all people, there must be something seriously wrong.

"Yes and no." He swore. "I feel like such an asshole. This is coming off as if I'm trying to use you or make you feel sorry for me, but I promise I won't be mad if you can't. Thought I'd shoot my shot."

I sighed internally. Wished you would've shot a different shot, but it's okay. I couldn't have expected Jimin to like me now, not when he didn't show any interest years before. This was always about help. He needed my help.

"Okay Jimin." I took his hand. "I'll try my best to see how my Dad wants to handle the scholarship. If he's trusting enough to give me my grants, I'll give you the amount you need."

Jimin's dark eyes which were full of sadness and a loss for hope ignited with hope. A happiness I saw only in my eyes directed at him, and now, like an infectious happy disease it was passed on the boy. He smiled large, eyes in slits from joy. It was a habit of his I found the most heart-fluttering. He jumped on me, hugged me into a crash on the pillow and said a slurred 'thank you', over and over at the nape of my neck.

I silenced the little voice in my head and heart reacting to Jimin in ways that showcased my like for him. This was no longer about liking him or him ever liking me, this was about money. I swallowed any desire and patted his back. Whispering for him to get off when he crushed me, I laughed at the pure joy on his face. What stood out the most was his relief. I could feel the weight I lifted off his shoulders from the way he moved, eyes fluttering in tiredness hitting him in one go.

Anxiousness dissipated and sleep arrived.

"You have no idea how much this'll help me." Jimin shook his head, holding his head in his hands. "I'll be able to live a little, for me. Thank you, thank you." He reached for my hand, kissing it slowly at first only to grow faster.

My heart was full. Having to force my hand from near his mouth, Jimin asked if I was okay. I nodded, forcing a smile on my face and bridging an excuse for being tired. He agreed, claiming to mark one side of the bed as he leapt for the outdoor setting. It was a miracle the surrounding glass didn't crash inside from the impact Jimin made from his jump. I stood, about to let him sleep when I halted. Stopped in my tracks.

"Stay here with me."

"What?"

"Let's sleep." He patted the bedside that was empty. His drunk smile back, more relaxed and drowning in drunken paradise.

Oblivious and unaware of what this invitation meant the morning after.

The morning after. 7 a.m.

Being in what felt like a glass dome in the wilderness, so bright and early in the morning definitely hurt my eyes. Stretching under the comforter which gave so much heat, I found my eyes to crinkle under the beams of the sun that directly fell into the backyard suite.

My back lingered against Jimin's, his fingers laced around my stomach. He held me tight enough against him, while loose enough for me to nudge out of his grasp if I wanted to.

When sleep first hit my eyes, Jimin would murmur 'thank you' in his half woken state, smiling in his and saying good night. He was far away from me, giving me space considering I was hesitant to doze off close to him. In the middle of the night, I shuffled to lay on my side and felt his hand wrap around me, head nuzzled into my shoulder blade. From that point on, any time I woke up, he'd have a hold on me.

Jimin liked to cuddle in his sleep.

The first time his hand went around me, screams propelled in my mind. The inner freshman who wished for such a night lingered before I fell asleep again. But now, waking up and being held by the boy the entire night, there was a comfort in his warmth. In his scent. In his presence. I wanted to stay in his arms until someone forced me out of them.

So I did. As the sun beat down on my cheek, trees moving in waves to the slight Summer breeze early in the morning, I held my stance and felt every inch of his body close to mine. I memorized it. His faded cologne now smelling dulled, welcoming.

Time passed. Maybe another half hour or hour, maybe it was ten minutes. I didn't look back at my phone. His fingers twitched against my stomach, body growing rigid behind me. Jimin groaned, potential headache being teased by the sun which woke him up.

His arm released from around me, body shifting away. There were curse words that escaped him, and a rubbing sensation of skin that I marked as him wiping the sleepiness from his eyes. Jimin continued to swear as he sat up, leaning his head on the couch that shaped around the bed.

The boy didn't move. I wondered if he waited for me to wake up, or if he'd leave the moment he could. Unable to face a sober Jimin aware of me as a whole, it took me a few minutes to find courage.

When I did, I wished I didn't.

Shifting on my back with a slight yawn, I covered the sun with my hand and glanced up at Jimin. He looked at me right away, expression stern. Harsh? Angry? What went on in his head?

I sat up, making sure the distance between us was measured by a whole leg's length if stretched. Holding my knees-up, I leaned into the couch in similar fashion.

We didn't say anything. The quiet was definitely ten minutes, maybe less, but it felt like an hour of uncertainty and agony.

I broke the silence first. My voice was shaky, unable to read the distant presence and persona Jimin shielded himself in. "Nothing happened between us last night, sexually...if that's what you were wondering."

"I know," he said. Awoken, rested voice crisped out. My gut fluttered at the sound.

"Oh." I pursed my lips. "I didn't think you'd remembered."

He nodded. "I remember everything."

"Everything?" I flushed. I don't know why I wished he'd forget a little, leave the good parts to be shared at the moment with drunk Jimin and I, a memory only I wanted to cherish. But we can't all get what we want, I guess.

"Yeah. It was ridiculous."

My head tilted. "Ridiculous?"

"Let's forget anything happened." He winced as if the sun hurt him, looking up at the trees that failed to shelter the suite.

"I'm confused."

"About what?" Jimin stood, sitting on the couch and looking around. "Is there any water around here?"

I hesitated. "Even the favour?"

"Is there water behind you? This stupid sun." Jimin cursed again, shielding his eyes. "Where the fuck is Jordan she shouldn't been in the suite by now."

"What? Jordan?"

"Yeah. She knew I was gonna bring you out here. I got the pin from her and everything, didn't think she'd let us crash." Jimin stretched out his neck, rolling it about before starting at his shoulders next.

Confusion dawned on me. "Jordan knew? Who else...?"

"Just her." Jimin's fingers massaged his temples. "I realize it was stupid and useless."

I shook my head. "No, it's not. None of it was, I'll give you the money you need."

Jimin laughed. It wasn't like last night, free and joyful. It was a bitter sound. "I don't need any favours from no Ein."

My eyes narrowed. "I want to help, let me hel-"

"Listen. I'm gonna save us both time." His eyes stared over at me with cruel boredom. "I was weak, and I caught you at a bad time. I knew you got that 100k scholarship and thought I'd take my chances cause you liked me."

My face fell. He knows I like him?

"I don't-"

"Save it Ein, you've been crushing on me for years. I knew it and thought if I played it up with the sympathy card from a girl who already had the hots for me, I could get some money."

My jaw squared. I don't know what it was, hurt, confusion, a shot to the ego or embarrassment. Whichever it was, fuelled the remainder of this conversation. My last interaction with Jimin before leaving for college.

"Screw the favour then. I'm not giving you anything." I got up to my feet. "Live a good useless life."

He saluted me. The same bored, meaningless expression plastered on his face. Acting like he didn't care. "Planning on it."

As I turned to walk away, he said one last thing. The last thing I carried with me to and from college. Jimin's last impression.

"Don't tell anyone about last night. Last thing I want is my reputation and dignity to be tampered with. It's the only thing I got going for myself." He walked beside me, setting the pin for the gate.

Opening the door, he finished with a smugness I immediately despised. "No one should know I woke up with an Ein after a party? Too embarrassing, everyone will know I'm at a low point."

I smiled too. "Oh believe me. You no longer exist in my world." Then, I got close to him to whisper just before leaving the gate. "Give it a few years and your friends now will forget you existed too."

Hurtful words. Both of us children, left with terrible tastes in each other's mouths. A favour lost with a series of events to take course.

. . .

Present

To have us now. Here, years later on a date for my protection against a rival gang. Jimin in his green hoodie and soft hair, a smile on his face as he dragged my hand into the movie theatre. Our day started in a dark room, pop corn and speaker's sounds. Unable to talk to each other, yet enjoy a film we didn't have to scroll through on Netflix and give up on.

Officer Morten had let us be earlier, smiled and offered to take us to where we wanted to go. We said no politely and watched him leave. Jimin's jacket was back on my shoulders, keeping me warm, and as we walked the rest of the trail to the inner City, Jimin's hands held in mine. Never to let go. He was sweaty and in result, my palms started getting clammy.

There was a second when we got inside the theatre he left go, swiped his hand on his jeans and made sure get out tickets for us. I found it strange that he paid, offering otherwise, but he ignored me. Back to holding hands, he dragged me up, into the dark room and into corner seats where only two people could sit.

"Why're we seated here? Can't we move to the middle?"

"Just in case we were followed." He whispered in my ear, taking me to the very back. "It's to keep you as safe and close to me as possible."

I obeyed, sitting in the corner seat and letting him have the one closest to the stairs. "Are we going to go home after the movies? Would that be enough for them...be enough of a distraction?"

Jimin nodded. "It'll be enough."

A part of me sulked. "Yeah, what I figured."

"But." Jimin smiled, whispering into my ear again. "I have a surprise for you. Just the two of us."

My heart betrayed my closed-off nature. Pulling away from him to read his expression, it was the same bored I had always seen. However, in his matured state, he was older, grown, and expressed himself in a way that didn't hurt others around him. I admired the way he composed his smile, nudging me to look forward. "Something for the both of us before we're cooped up inside again. Getting to know each other wouldn't kill us. Don't you think roomie?"

I swallowed hard. I watched his side-profile, easing my chest every chance I got. I always tried to ignore this feeling, one I buried so long ago too fast. The warmth traced up my back, between my legs, and into my face. His eyes and nose did the familiar scrunch I knew so well, every time he smiled and meant it. Jimin's aura announced from the way he sat, confident and sexy beside me. It was then it dawned on me the dangerous game of this, our situation, together and locked up after the date.

My crush for Jimin, bubbling out little by little the more time I spent with him, no longer able to deny it or ignore my body's responses.

As I looked to the theatre's screen starting to post images and sounds, I reached over and trailed my hands over the tattoo on his knuckles, knowing my wrist rested too close to the zipper of his jeans. I felt his gaze bounce down to my hand holding his, and then to me.

"What's up?" His voice was sexy, thrilling and alerted the suspicion inside of me.

"A little scared." I looked around at the flood of people coming in to their seats. The Deities weren't the reason for why I wanted to hold his hand.

Jimin didn't say anything more. He took my hand in his, letting the joint fingers rest in his lap. I held back my sigh, forcing my attention to the screen again and not his beauty, or his knee pressed to mine.

"I've got you." He whispered in protection.

I broke. No denial. No hiding. Old triggers resurfacing but with new and unknown twists of wishing to know about him. His life now, how he handles his stressful days. What he likes to eat for breakfast. What he works on every day to better himself.

What happened to his Mom? Did he pay off the 30k? Did he truly forgive me for the words I said? Did he mean what he said about wanting to get to know me in high school? Was that last night a total lie? So many questions, all thrust forward in a wave that wished to be ridden by him.

I have a feeling this date ahead will only confuse me more...

. . .

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Oh myyy, next two chapters are gonna be steamy y'all. 💕