Seven in the morning comes slowly. The lack of sleep has yet to catch up with me and I'm thankful for that. The sunlight- new and fresh- seems to settle in the curvature of Alexander's eyelashes, get caught in the dip of his cheekbones and on the edge of his jaw. He holds the door to the cafe we've chosen open for me and I smile to myself as I walk inside.

It's early enough that the only occupants are businessmen and women in their dress clothes, briefcases hugged tight to their thighs as they wait for their orders to start the day. Normally, that would be me. But not today. It seems like lately, everything normal has hidden from me. Maybe it's a good thing.

Standing in line next to Alec is a slow kind of torture. I battle with myself relentlessly. Would it be alright to take his hand? Would he pull away? What would it mean? Would it give me all the answers I came here looking for?

His hand explores the expanse of my arm, grabbing my attention. One brow is lifted quizzically as his fingers drift over my own.

"You look a little lost there. What's up?" He asks quietly as we both take a step forward.

"I'm fine. Overwhelmed, I guess." It's a cop-out answer and I know it but I can't bring myself to ask him anything important, not when I'm so afraid he'll disappear. I offer him a reassuring smile that he returns, a bit hesitantly, as though he's not quite falling for it.

"Understandable- oh, good morning. Can we have-" The barista looks as if she's going to pass out when she interrupts Alec.

"Oh my god. You. You're Alexander Lightwood. And you're Magnus Bane." I glance at Alec and then back to her, wondering why she's freaking out.

"Yes, we are. Can we help you?" Alec asks softly, smiling at her with slight amusement.

"Your music is...it's everything. And you!" She turns to me, making me jump a bit with her enthusiasm.

"And me?" I ask, though I'm not sure if I want the answer.

"My parents were so upset when you went to Milan a few months ago. They have this resort that they want you to decorate." I chuckle and smile. Now this feels a bit more normal.

"Well, here's my business card. I'll...hopefully be in town for awhile." I cast a quick look at Alec, not enough to gauge anything important, but his expression eases my nerves a little. Glancing behind us, I see a small line forming. 

"Does that mean the two of you are back together? I've been checking the headlines, but-"

"We're not sure what we are yet. But, we would greatly appreciate it if you kept it under the table for now." Alexander responds smoothly. The small girl nods, a slightly aggressive bob of her head. I chuckle at the picture it makes. After snapping a few photos with her and signing some things, we finally get our coffees and exit the growing line of, probably, annoyed customers.

Settling into a seat near the back, I look across the table at Alec. "I didn't think about the publicity of this. I'm sorry." I apologize. It could make everything for us far more difficult if the media gets involved. That's the worst part; having your personal, difficult relations posted on the cover of magazines. It takes away your freedom to work through things at a normal pace and in a normal way.

"I don't mind. Magazine covers are just that. Why should I care if they want to make a story out of me? It's not like they know anything." A small grin works it's way onto my lips as I look down at my coffee, rubbing my thumb along the smooth, white porcelain.

"So how's Max doing?" I look back up at him to see his slight shrug.

"He's getting a bit better. Apparently, the process of getting everything back to what it was can take a couple of years. Max freaked out a bit when he heard that, but he's coming to terms with everything." I nod, taking it all in. I feel poorly about having left. Max and I have always gotten along well, and I feel as though somehow I've let him down.

"He asks about you," Alexander continues, taking a small sip of his cappuccino. Raising a brow, I wait for him to elaborate. "Sometimes he'll look you up online to see what you're up to. He'll ask me, too, sometimes." I force myself to swallow, though my throat feels tight. Part of me wants to ask what he tells him, but I worry it'll be too much.

"What really changed your mind about coming back?" The question hits my chest like a bullet and I snap my gaze down to my coffee.

"Well," Forcing myself to look up and meet his eyes, "it was kinda like this, actually," I gesture between us vaguely. His confusion pushes me to explain. "I had this photographer, Luca. And we were doing a shoot for my line coming out in a couple of weeks," Alec nods, I'm assuming if only through Max, he knew that I'd been working hard in Milan.

"Well, yesterday? Was it...must've been...yesterday." Alec chuckles a bit at my obvious confusion, but the sound is tense. "Anyways, we took a lunch break. And he asked me to go get coffee with him. I didn't really know...what to say or do, you know? I mean, how could I? But I went, I still don't know why." I pause for a second to collect my thoughts, taking a small sip of my drink and risking a look at Alec. His jaw is set, but otherwise, his expression is calm.

"We were sitting in this little cafe and talking. Talking about you, actually. I guess he could sense how the topic...upset me? And he took my hand and I just- I just lost it." I blow out a breath of air and shake my head before pushing my hair back.

"Why?" Alec asks finally, breaking the silence. I look up at him and he's not hiding his curiosity. It's practically painted across his face.

"What do you mean 'why'?"

"Why didn't you give it a shot? I mean, I'm the one who told you to go. I'm the one who pushed you away, you had every right to do that. You don't... You don't owe me anything. Not respect, not loyalty. You don't have to jump on a fu-" he sighs, calming himself slightly and lowering himself back down into his chair more. My brows are raised and my back straight at his sudden agitation. "On a plane," he continues, more in control of his emotions. "Every time you feel like you might be developing something for someone else. You don't owe me that." The silence surrounds us, a loose, daunting atmosphere.

"I didn't come here because I felt guilty." I assure him, shaking my head. "I came back because Luca made me realize I didn't like him. I didn't like anyone. Hell, Alec. Milan probably has some of the most attractive, gorgeous men in like, the world. But I didn't even notice. I didn't come back here because I owe you anything. Maybe you owe me something. Maybe that's why I came back." I didn't realize it before, but Alec's actions did upset me. I didn't let myself notice the gnawing resentment inside me.

"I owe you a lot." He answers quietly, looking into the mug in between his palms. "More than I'll ever be able to give back to you. But I can try." His big, warm eyes meet mine and I feel like that's the only reassurance I need right now.

***

"I wanna take you somewhere," Alec says as we park my rental at the hotel and slide into his car.

"Yeah? Where?"

"Well I can't tell you," His smirk leaves me nervous. "But you'll like it, I swear." He reassures me. If I didn't trust him so much, I might be nervous. As we drive I try to figure out where on earth he's taking me but nothing comes to mind. It's barely 9 in the morning and it's shocking that Alec's even up and going.

"Are we there yet?" I ask for possibly the twentieth time. Alec sighs and reaches over, slipping his hand into mine and squeezing it.

"No, Mags. We're literally on the highway. There is nothing on either side of us, or in front of us. We are not there yet." His patience humbles me, honestly. How is he so good?

"Okay. Here." Letting go of my hand, he reaches into the console and pulls out a blue bandana. "Cover your eyes with this." Quirking a brow, I look at him incredulously.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, come on," sighing, I place it over my eyes and tie it right before reaching for his hand again.

"Alright," he murmurs sometime later as he parks the car.

"We're here?"

"Yeah," I feel him let my hand go, his door shutting. Moments after, he opens mine. "Here, I'll help you," His hands find mine as he maneuvers me out of the car, shutting the passenger door behind me. When he takes the blindfold off, I'm speechless, which is saying a lot. It take something truly phenomenal to take my breath away- so far, Alexander's the only thing that's ever done so.

But he's done something so amazing, so romantic and flawless that I could cry.

"We're going skydiving?" I whisper into the warm morning. Alec's hand finds mine, warming my soul.

"Yeah. We haven't been since you surprised me that day when we were kids. And if I've ever learned anything, it's been that crazy things can put everything into perspective." He shrugs but the words are so wise and smart that I brush my lips against his jaw briefly, unsure exactly what I'm allowed yet. It's enough for now.

It doesn't take long until we're ready to head up. For September, it's strangely pleasant out, the skies blue, the air warm. There are several other groups around, excitement almost tangible in the air, suspended there.

"I forgot how much I loved this," I confess as we step into the plane. There are about 5 others in here with us, chattering away animatedly. But Alec's the only one I look at. His navy blue tee shirt is pulled tight on him by the harness, accenting his body that I've missed so much. His hair is wild and looks so soft I could just lose my hands in its tangles.

"Me too," he replies, a breathtaking smile lighting up his face.

Soon enough, we're so high up that the world seems insignificant beneath us. The past three months seem to fade. Milan, my fears, the panic deep-set in my chest. Everything becomes nothing save for Alec's hand in my own and the sound of the plane rising higher and higher.

The back opens up and the inside of the plane is drowned in whooshing air. Excitement and familiarity course through my veins.

"Ready?" Alec mouths. I nod, standing with him and walking carefully to the edge of the plane. Alec adjusts the GoPro on both of our helmets, ensuring they're on before he takes both my hands in his, squeezing twice before he lets go and we both free-fall into the morning sky.

I look at Alexander, his body arching elegantly to the winds and world. His smile, so wide and carefree it fixes everything that's ever been broken inside me. I find his hand, pulling him close for the last few seconds before we have to let go.

I kiss him with everything I have and everything I don't. I promise him better, promise him all of me and then some.

And I think, if I can read his lips right when they're flush against mine, that he promises all those things too.