Tuesday morning comes as all the mornings you wish wouldn't happen. Slowly, and then all at freaking once.

The alarm doesn't go off when it's supposed to. And normally, that wouldn't be a problem since I'm almost always awake beforehand anyways. But with yesterday being as crazy as it was, I sleep right through my internal clock screaming at me. 

The ringing of my phone wakes us both up at 8:30. Startled and disoriented, I push myself up on the bed and fumble for my phone before answering and pressing it to my ear. 

"Magnus? Where are you, I've been worried," Catarina scolds from the other side of the phone. Cursing, I push my hair back out of my face and force myself to blink. 

"I must've fallen asleep without setting an alarm. Dammit, hold on, I'll be there soon," I reassure, swinging my legs off of the bed and listening half-heartedly to Alec as he stretches and yawns behind me. 

"You may want to hurry," she murmurs and I can hear the unease in her tone. 

"Cat, what's wrong?" I halt my movements- a pair of socks in one hand and the drawer open in front of me. 

"Someone broke the window of the shop. I don't think anything was taken, but there was some graffiti on the wall inside." Cat explains. I swallow thickly, feeling as if I'm underwater. The words don't hit me quite as soon as they're said, travelling through my mind slowly until the meaning hits all at once. 

"What did it say?" I manage, though the words sound choked.

"They... it's all gay slurs." My stomach hits the floor and I feel as if I'm about to be sick. Pinching the bridge of my nose hard enough to hurt, I exhale deeply when I realize I've forgotten to breathe. 

"I...I'll be there soon. Contact the authorities." After she agrees, I hang up, setting my phone on the dresser and pressing my palms to the sun-warmed wood, grasping for something real, normal, to ground me. 

Alexander presses his palm against my back and I slowly turn my head to look at him, tangled hair falling into my line of vision. With careful fingers, he brushes the strands away and appraises me with a creased brow and curious eyes. 

"What was that about?" He murmurs into the quiet morning that's far too loud to make sense. 

"Someone vandalized my building," I explain vaguely, unsure if I can repeat the words without completely losing it. It's always been me who's been strong, been the voice of reason in our relationship. Not once have I ever needed to be set straight or be comforted, it's never been part of my DNA. But right now, I could collapse in his arms, hide my face in his chest and pretend that the world around us just doesn't exist. 

"How? What happened?" His hands rest firmly on my upper arms, a reminder that he's right here even if I wish he didn't have to be a part of all of this. He's worked hard enough to accept who he is- he doesn't deserve to be set back in such a way. 

"They, um- they broke the window and- and-" soothingly, his arms run up and down my bare arms. I look up and I can see the sunlight filtering in his warm eyes, filled with concern and love. The sunlight burns my skin, my senses on fire as I try to figure this out. 

"Sh, babe. Tell me what's going on," he pushes gently, one hand running up to my cheek and cradling it. I lean into the touch, closing my eyes and breathing slowly until I feel a little bit more in control. 

"They broke the window and wrote gay slurs on the walls." The nauseousness comes back with a vengeance and I break away from his embrace, darting into the bathroom and collapsing in front of the toilet. After throwing up any remnants of last nights meal, I lean back and grab a tissue off of the counter, wiping my mouth in disgust. 

Alec kneels next to me and wraps his arms around me, tucking me into his chest. "We're going to be okay, Bane. Promise. We'll get through this, we get through everything." 

I want to believe him because it's so unfair. All of it is. The realisation that I'm being targeted simply for being in love sickens me. Especially when it's Alec that I love, who I've loved since I was 17 years old. And sure, we've dealt with some strange looks or some hurtful comments in our college years, but it's never been so tangible. So real. We don't have any buffers anymore. We've put ourselves into the media, made names for ourselves and expected people to be proud. But all we've gotten is more hate, more disdain and disappointment. The emphasis never lies on our achievements or our success. It all falls on the fact that we love each other. And everyone hates it. 

"I told Catarina I'd come talk to the authorities," I whisper into his skin. I can feel him nod and soon he's standing, helping me up with him. 

"I'm coming with you," grabbing some clothes from the closet, I turn to look at him. 

"Why?" If I could avoid going, I would. 

"Because whatever is going on lately- whoever is doing this sort of shit to you, they're doing it to me, too. We're together, Mags. Through all of it. Good, and bad." My heart pounds a little bit harder, love for him almost drowning everything else out. Offering him a pathetic excuse for a smile, I nod, changing into a dusty grey suit and washing my face. After my hair isn't a mess and I look slightly presentable, I wait for Alec to finish up before we head out. 

The drive seems too long. I know it isn't, the traffic isn't even that bad, but I'm both eager and nervous to see what's happened. I want to get it out of the way so that the fear behind it all dissipates. 

Once we pull into the parkade, I slide out of the car, rolling my shoulders and trying to prepare myself. To my surprise, Alec folds his hand around mine, smiling sadly at me as we walk towards my building just ahead. 

The police are already there and I can see the shattered glass from where we are already. It gleams in the morning light, casting ghostly rays against the concrete. My blood runs cold and shivers cover my body, even in the warm May air. Swallowing the bile that rises in my throat, I remind myself to keep walking forward when everything in me says to turn and run. One foot after the other. Each step takes more effort than it ever should. 

Catarina has her arms crossed over her chest as she leans on the hood of a police car, talking to an officer who writes her words in a notebook. Another one makes his way over to us. 

"Mr Bane, Mr Lightwood. I'm sorry that this has happened. We're going to do all we can to catch whoever did this. Do you have any idea who might want to upset you in any way?" Immediately Maryse and my father flash into my mind, but I dispel the thought as soon as it comes. Even if our parents are kind of shitty, neither of them would do this. They're content to just smash our self-esteem, not our windows. The man from the bar comes to mind, but I don't know who he is. And it happened back in New York City, not in Brooklyn. He'd really have to hate me to travel here just to vandalize my building. 

"I don't know," I answer honestly, shaking my head. Inside, I can see the words messily spray-painted on the walls. Every slur I could ever think of, every insult, scrawled angrily onto the vibrant blue walls. 

"Alright. We'll start with security footage, then. Let's go inside and look at the cameras." 

***

By the time all is said and done. it's nearly noon. My stomach rumbles in protest to the fact that I haven't eaten a single thing today. Catarina went to the cafe up the street and brought back bagels and coffees around 10, but I couldn't find any appetite. I still can't. The cameras couldn't catch the person's face, and the alarm wasn't set the day before. My mistake. I'd been too exhausted to think clearly when we'd left- the success of opening day on my mind and a dinner out with family- to do everything properly. It leaves a bitter, guilty taste on my tongue that I can't shake. 

"I've already called someone to replace the window, and Catarina called someone in to re-paint the walls. If you keep the place closed for maybe two more days it'll all be finished." Alexander explains, stretching out on the couch back at home. There was no reason to stick around once the officers had everything they needed. But I feel useless just sitting here. 

"Thanks," I express honestly, squeezing his shoulder as I walk past. 

"Hey, Mags?" I stop, turning to look at him. "All of this sucks, but I still love you." He gives me a goofy grin, one that I can't resist. Smiling back, I walk over, leaning down and kissing him slowly. Pulling away, I drag my thumb along his jaw bone, appreciating his sharp features. 

"I love you too." I murmur, pecking his lips once more before I go to change. Once I'm allowed, the facade falters and I have to clutch the bathroom counter to stop myself from breaking down. I feel emotionally wrecked, a violent anger within me that I didn't know I was capable of surfacing. An anger at myself. One that reminds me that who I am is a societal fault. The very basis of who I am is what so many people consider wrong. 

Changing out of my suit, I let it fall in a crumpled mess in the corner before I step into the shower, hoping the hot water will calm me down. 

I don't know when my tears start mixing with the water. I don't really care anymore. I also don't know how long I spend showering, letting the hot water bounce off of my skin before Alec knocks on the door. 

"Mags? You okay?" Stifling a sob, I try to control my voice enough to answer. 

"Yeah," I reply, but it sounds strained. It breaks slightly and I curse myself for feeling so vulnerable. 

The bathroom door opens. Alexander's silhouette makes its way through the steamy bathroom and I watch as he sheds his clothes. 

"I'm coming in," he warns softly, the bathroom door shut firmly behind him as he moves the curtain back enough to see me. His eyes soften infinitely when he sees me and it makes me wonder just how much of a mess I must look. Stepping under the steady stream, I watch as the water soaks him, making strands of his wild hair stick to his temples and forehead. His arms, strong and sure, wrap around me. It's not sensual or sexy- it's simply comfort. It's the feeling of companionship and love in a time and place where all I feel is darkness. 

His lips move softly against my temple as he speaks, swaying us side to side slowly. 

"Do you remember when we first met?" His words vibrate through my skin and I hum in response, letting him soothe me, letting my mind and body relax. "You were so cocky, it made me so mad," he laughs then, shaking his head slightly at the memory. It brings a crooked smile to my lips, too, making me notice how much we've changed since then. Back then, Alec was a scrawny, insecure teenager. He was only an inch or so taller than me, nothing compared to the 2 and a half inches he holds over me now, and the strong muscles he's managed to build over the years. 

"I remember," I murmur into his shoulder. 

"And you scared me so much," he confesses meekly, making me raise my head to look at him. It's not the first time we've recounted this story with each other. But it's the first time he's said this. 

"I scared you? How?" Curiosity distracts me from the bitterness in my chest, so I play into it, letting it absorb me as much as I can under the hot water and in his arms. 

"You scared me because you saw right through me. You seemed to have me figured out and I didn't even know the first thing about myself. You called me beautiful. Do you remember?" His eyes find mine, melting molasses boring into my soul. 

"Yeah, I do."

"And it terrified me because I didn't understand how you could ever find me beautiful. How someone like you, who had a mind so bright, had such a vibrant, wonderful personality, could ever even look at me. I was the dullest, most boring human on the planet. And somehow, you saw through that." He smiles, pushing my wet hair out of my face and letting his fingertips trace my skin. Everywhere he touches is brilliant warmth. "And you taught me so much," he continues, reaching down to entwine our hands, bringing them up between us and kissing my knuckles sweetly. The action brings colour to my cheeks, warming them even further. 

"I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know," I argue softly, smiling at him over our hands. 

"That's a lie. Magnus, you taught me everything I know. You taught me what it's like to be beautiful. And you taught me how to be in love. But I think the most important thing you ever taught me was how to be strong and how to accept myself. I just think that maybe now, I'll have to teach you that." His words hit me like an anvil to the chest. He says I'm the one who saw through him. But if that were true, how is he doing that very thing now? How is he seeing through me, right to my bones and the insecurities that hide there, and telling me exactly what I need to hear? How, after all this time, have our roles reversed so strongly? And how the hell am I supposed to take my own advice? 

But Alexander smiles again, and I find myself smiling back. Even if I don't know why. Because he's so damn beautiful I can't help it. And I don't want to.