Water is simply hydrogen and oxygen.

Air is mostly nitrogen and oxygen.

I am seventy percent water, seventy percent hydrogen and oxygen.

And yet. Yet I am here, the river is adding those thirty percent as my lungs fill with the liquid, and I need air.

I need it so much that my whole body aches.

So much that I press my lips together, holding my breath.

So much that I try to unfasten my seatbelt, watch Noemi as she tries to open the door, lean over Scott to try for myself.

So much that, as it doesn't work, I can feel panic spreading through my veins.

I. need. air.

"Vio?"

I turn around and smile at Noemi who's standing behind me. A faint blush is on her cheeks, and I can't help but chuckle a little.

Yet there's another feeling in my chest: happiness because I exactly know what she is going to say, and I like it.

I liked the first date, I liked the kiss, and I like her.

"Yeah?" I answer, looking her in the eye.

She clears her throat, her gaze darts to the ground before she looks at me again. The expression on her face is nervousness. It's adorable.

"Will you... go on a second date... with me?" she finally stutters, and as soon as she words flip off her tongue, her cheeks turn one shade darker.

My smile breaks into a cheeky, wide grin.

"Yes, Noemi, I will gladly go on a second date with you," I respond.

Her eyes widen, and then she smiles, too - a big, happy smile. The thought I can make her this happy makes my heart pound.

"Great," she says.

I've never heard someone say that simple word in a cuter way than this one.

My eyelashes flutter.

A world full of secrets opens up to me: a blurry image of thousands of faces, shadows in the water; as if it's a story book that I miserably fail to read. Yet I know it wants to tell me something - I know it, simply because this is happening.

I believe everything happens for a reason. So there must be one for all this, too, and it's right here for me to see, but I'm blind. Blind, and seeking, and I will continue until I find whatever it is I am supposed to see.

Even if it means I will no longer live afterwards.

I've had a pretty good life already.

I have friends that help me through everything, a caring family, and my girlfriend that means the world to me.

Just as I finish that thought, I realize what is happening right there in front of my eyes as the blur clears for one second.

It's Allie. And Luke.

I don't take long until I see, see the paleness of Luke's, his closed eyelids, the lashes not even fluttering a tiny, tiny bit, see that I will never look into the green eyes of his again because he will never open them anymore.

Because Luke is dead, and Allie is screaming, and all of us are dying.

Noemi grabs my hand.

"So," she bites on her lower lip in excitement, "now, that we are... together, would you... maybe like to hold hands with me? In school?"

I smile and want to respond, but apparently, she doesn't get I already understood.

"I mean... I wanna show the world that you're my girlfriend, Vio, but only if you'd like it, too," she mumbles and faces the ground.

Softly, I lift her chin up and look at her, a smile on my lips.

"Noemi," I say, and my tone is firm and determined, but loving nonetheless. "I'm your girlfriend. That means that I'm in love with you. Of course I want to hold hands with you. To be honest, I'd love to."

As the words leave my mouth, the corners of her mouth raise to a lovely smile.

I love the way she smiles, because I always see happiness in her smile - she's a very cheerful person, but I also know perfectly she has some profound parts, and I want to know every detail about her, every scar and every crater she's hiding.

But sometimes I'm a little bit afraid, too.

Because these... these are strong feelings, and, after all, who says they're gonna stay?

I stare at Noemi.

I stare at the curved line of her nose, her jawline, the shadow beyond her cheekbones, the dark circles around her eyes, her grey eyes, the cloud of black hair that floats around her head - features that I know so well yet seem so unfamiliar to me.

She stares at me, too.

For a split second I wonder if she sees us changing too - if she sees us dying, like I do.

Because I see it. I see how her lines melt and blur, how shadows merge with each other, creating blue and black and green.

I see it, and it hurts.

And as Noemi's lips part and she says something - I think I've heard my name, but the water swallowed her words -, as she turns to face Allie, and as Allie turns to face us with that tortured look in her eyes, and yet everything about her seems to be so empty, lacklustre, dull, and as Allie lets escape a few last bubbles and then falls silent, silent, silent

- then I reallize: of course she sees it.

Of course she sees us dying.

Noemi has beautiful eyes.

I've always knew that, but now, when my face is cupped in her hands and she looks intensely into my eyes, and I look intensely into hers, I notice:

God, she is so beautiful.

And how lucky am I to have her, how undeniably lucky.

As she finally presses her lips onto mine, a fire burns through my whole body, feelings exploding and boiling, dancing and sashaying, like flames, like fire.

We part from each other, and there's something in the way our gazes connect - something in the way she slightly smiles - slightly blushes - something in the way she breathes.

"I love you," she gasps.

And I kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, until my lungs are screaming.

Simple words, and suddenly I'm so damn lucky, because I realize: she loves me, and being loved from someone you love is the most wonderful feeling in the world.

"I love you," I respond.

And then her lips break into a big, wide grin, and she kisses me passionately, lovingly, but then we part and she leans her forehead against mine as she whispers: "I got to go."

I smile, and she turns around, and as she walks away, I notice someone standing a few feet away from us - an expression on his face I can't exactly classify.

It's Scott.

But then he looks at me, and his eyes are big and wide and green and blank, and then, as he turns around and walks away with big steps, I suddenly know.

He's jealous.

There's sorrow in Noemi's beautiful, beautiful eyes.

And even though Allie just died, and Luke did, too, and we are all going to die, even though I see her hurting, even though I know she probably wants to just let go – I know because I want to let go too – she resides, and I reside, we're still here.

Noemi looks at me like she always has.

That way only she looks at me: like I'm special.

And sometimes when I'm with her I almost feel like I really am.

Now I do, too – now as she pecks a kiss on my lips – a quick, desperate, awash kiss – now I feel I'm still special to her – and to her, I'll always be.

She mouths something as she leans away but I can't figure out what – instead I follow the tiny bubbles with my eyes.

"Scott? Can we talk?"

He turns and looks at me, and I can tell from the expression on his face he doesn't want to talk to me. He has steered clear of me the last weeks, and I was ambivalent about it – I didn't knew he liked me that way.

"Please," I beg – because I am sorry, and I need him to now.

Then, then, all of a sudden – his features soften as he sighs.

"Okay, but make it short, Violet," he responds finally and I can't help but cringe – cringe at the fact he just called me Violet.

He never does that.

"Well," I say – unsure about how to start. "Scott... I saw you the other day, and..." I swallow, and then just – say it. "Were you jealous?"

His eyes – widen at that question.

But he remains quiet, and after a slight pause, he lifts his eyebrows. "Why on earth would I – be jealous?"

Something in his words – hurt me.

"I'm – sorry," I mutter under my breath, "I just – forget it."

And he shrugs – turns around – and walks away.

"Noemi?"

I ask as I see her – see her struggling.

Panic immediately spreads through my whole body, making me want to cry and shake her and beg her – beg her to stay.

"Don't go," I say, again and again – but she doesn't seem to hear me. "Noemi, god, don't, don't go," I ramble, inhaling water and water, but – she has to hear me, she has to.

I can't lose her. Not now – not yet – please.

I want to say something again – scream – cry – but with the next load of water that I breathe in – I start coughing.

And as Noemi mouths something again I suddenly understand – we can't hear each other – I've always understood her – how ironically it is that I don't understand her now – now when she needs it the most – when we need understanding each other the most.

"Noemi," I say one last time –

And then she fades, fades and fades, and I see her saying something – want to know what – and then suddenly she's inundated -

"Vio?"

His words sound unsure and I turn quickly –

His eyes are bloodshot and his skin is pale and his lips quiver – and his whole look is screaming something to me –

But he apparently struggles to speak –

And so I just embrace him in a hug – and hold him tight

He collapses into my arms, and I feel his weakness – and then I go whispering "it's okay" in his ears – when I know it isn't

And as he finally – finally manages to say something – it's the same words – over and over – again

"I'm sorry," Scott mumbles, I can hear – his tears as – for one second – his voice cracks, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

I hold him tighter and he buries – his face in my shoulder

"It's okay"

Even though – even though I get water tons of water – into my mouth – my lungs

I scream

And scream – and scream

Until then – Scott is awake – and dying just like me, but he's still here – and he grabs my hand –

They're dead – "they're dead," I say –

Adding more water to this river with – my tears – a tiny inflow

Will they recreate who lasted the longest when – when they find us – when they find five dead, pale, bloated bodies – at the bottom of this river – I already feel as cold as I'll be when – they find me

Cold, and dead – a lifeless shell

And I turn to Scott – because he's the only one who's –

Alive – still

"Vio, I have to tell you something," Scott's voice is weak – and he doesn't – look at me

I try to smile at him – to encourage him

Even though – I'm kinda scared of what he will say – will he finally – finally say the words I expect him to?

Ominous – but is it really that bad?

And as – as he opens his mouth and finally utters the words I knew he needed to tell me – as his voice cracks and trembles – as I see tears welling up in his eyes – as he lets it go

Suddenly I'm okay with it

And then – then as I feel the river take me with its current

I place a soft kiss on his lips –

Looking at him –

And as I say "it's okay" –

I actually – for once – mean it

It's okay