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JESSICA’S POV
I see you in the club
You gettin' down good
I wanna get with you, yeah
I see you in the club
You showin' thugs love
I wanna get with you
You're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
Said you're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
The song came in just at the right time when I saw her at the dance floor. It was as if it’s played especially for the moment. Such an angel with a pair of dark brown almond-shaped eyes which naturally turn to half moon when she smiles, her brunette hair carelessly spread out upon her dainty, gentle shoulders and the full luscious lips that parts to allow ivory white teeth to flash a sexy smile across her velvet-like face, fair complexion that flows with a hint of pink. I can see her perfectly well even with the dim lighting. I can see no one but her, dancing under the imaginary spotlight shining on her.
Lust or love? I have no idea. All I know is that I fell in love, at the very first sight.
“She’s pretty huh?” Yuri asked as she took a seat besides me. She’s staring at the same person as I was.
I returned a smile as my answer.
“But she’s blind.”
I raised my eyebrows. I don’t understand that sentence at all. “What do you mean?”
“I forgot that you’re new here.” Yuri paused and looked at me, then shifting her sight back to the person of the topic. “People here call her the visionless dancing queen. She will come here every Saturday just to dance. Maybe it’s because this club is owned by her good friend.”
I’m surprised to hear what just came out of Yuri’s mouth. I remained silent and still staring at that girl on the dance floor. How can she possibly be blind? How can the beautiful pair of eyes not able to see anything?
I never thought of it before, how would it be like without being able to see. Standing in a colourful world but living in a complete obscurity. Suddenly, I realized that I rely on my sight too much. Eyes are said to be the windows to the world, I couldn’t agree more. It is through them that I got a vision of every little thing in front of me, otherwise life would never have been this interesting. That makes my eyes the most precious asset to me, invaluable gifts from God.
-----------------------------------
I’ve been patronizing the same club every Saturday, this is my fourth time. Ever since the first Saturday Yuri brought me here, I’ve been coming back just to watch that beautiful stranger. I was sitting at the bar counter, scanning through the whole club, especially the dance floor, but I couldn’t seem to find that particular person I’m looking for. The very purpose that I am even in this club. She’s usually on the dance floor by this time.
“Guess she’ll not be here today.” I whispered to myself and let out a sigh. “Sex on the beach, please.” I said to the petite female bartender in front of me.
“Here you go, sex on the beach” The bartender placed a cup containing orangey-red liquid on my coaster. “I haven’t seen you before. You’re new here right?”
“Actually this is already my fourth time.” I replied coldly.
“Oh, my bad. I never realized you before though. In that case, your drink will be on the house then!” She smiled.
“Thanks.” I forced a smile.
“I’m Taeyeon by the way, the owner of this club.” She reached out her hand for me.
I shook it and released quickly. I stare at my drink and stirred it with the straw then place it in between my lips.
“Hi Tae.” The husky yet alluring voice from behind me gave me chills just from hearing it.
It was her, the one who got me all smitten. I can’t help but to keep my head stay turned at her direction.
“Why are you so late today? I was about to call you.”
“I’m sorry Tae, something caught up earlier.” She pouted.
How adorable.
“Alright, get to your dance floor, dancing queen!”
She flashed her killer smile at Taeyeon which made me smile as well. She then moved out of the bar stool and her hand accidentally knocked down my drink, spilling it all over my shirt.
“Oh god! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” She said panicky, trying to wipe the spilt drink off with her bare hands.
I chuckled at her adorable action.
“It’s okay, don’t worry.” I held her hands, in hopes of calming her down.
Taeyeon passed me a stack of serviettes from the bar counter. I’m wiping my clothes but I keep shifting my eyesight back and forth between my clothes and her. Her expression showed that she’s uneasy and apologetic. She’s trying to help me wipe but she keeps wiping at the wrong spots and at different spots. I chuckled again on the thought.
“Hi, I’m Jessica.”
I have no idea why did I just introduce myself to her because I don’t usually do that first. The words just escaped my mouth. I guess that’s what they mean by when opportunity comes knocking, the door better be opened fast. And this is the opportunity that I can get to know her.
“Hi Jessica. I think you should go to the washroom to clean up.”
She pulled me and walks towards the washroom. I stare at her hand which is holding my hand right now. I found myself blushing and just following her blindly. I’m not paying attention to where were we going, all that I’m seeing is her hand, our hands.
She turned on the faucet. “Dampen the serviettes and wipe your clothes, the stain will come off easier.”
As I was wiping, I couldn’t help but to gaze back at her eyes again. Did I fall in love too fast?
“I’m sorry but I didn’t catch your name.”
“That’s because I haven’t told you yet.” Embarrassed, I wiped my clothes harder.
She took my hand and spread my fingers open. She started to write with her index finger on my palm. T-I-F-F-A-N-Y.
“Tiffany.” I whispered.
She flashed her eye-smile as an acknowledgement.
“How do you move around here so freely, I thought you’re b...” I asked the question out of curiosity but immediately regret it. I mentally hit myself.
“Blind?” She smiled. “My best friend own this club and I’ve been coming here weekly for 3 years already. She’s very sweet, she hasn’t moved or changed the position of anything here.” She paused and let out a sigh. “For those who don’t know that I’m blind will never guess that I can’t see. This is the only place where I can get away from judgements and just dance my heart out.”
Suddenly, she grabbed my hand, again. “Come on, let’s go to dance!”
-----------------------------------
Unknowingly, I become a regular at Taeyeon’s club for half a year already. During this period, Tiffany and I grew to become good friends. We do not only meet up every Saturday in the club but we meet out of the club as well.
Every week we will meet up for a couple of times for meals, hanging out in each others’ apartments, and other activities. I like it, when there’s just the two of us, she will be so dependant on me and I love to guide her. Although we have been close for the past months, I never asked her about her eyes. To me, it seems like a sensitive topic and I will never have the courage to prey on it. The fact that she’s blind never became a flaw to me, since the first time I saw her, she has been the angel who managed to captivate my heart. She the one whom I want to love, the one I want to protect, to whom I’ll give my everything.
Today, I brought her to the beach. We sat down at a random spot, allowing our feet to sink down in the soft sand after a long stroll. We just sat down there and not talking, but the silence is so comfortable and not awkward when I’m with her. It’s nice to remain quiet, feeling the breeze and smell the salty sea water. As I was staring blankly at the sea, I felt a soft hand stroking my jaw line. I turned to face Tiffany. I stare at her as she’s caressing my cheek then slowly tracing my features with her fingers.
“You must be very pretty Jessi.”
I let out a small laugh at what she said. “You don’t even know how I look like. I’m actually really ugly. No, even ugly is too pretty to describe me.” I joked.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
“Tiffany, I love you.” I blurted out the three words I’ve been longing to say to her.
She responded by holding my hand with hers and intertwining our fingers together. And that’s all I needed. I leaned in closer to her. Our lips touched and I felt something I never felt before. One simple kiss brought me to heaven. We slowly pulled away from the kiss and I faced back to the front. I was absolutely mesmerized by the breathtaking view, the sun is setting.
“The sunset is just, so beautiful.”
“I heard from many people that sunset is the most beautiful sight. Is that true? Jessi, describe sunset to me.”
“It’s like the comforting warmth of a sweet embrace, causing your breath to hold for the slightest of moments as you allow the wonderment of the beauty touches your heart and soul. As you deeply inhaled, you can feel like something is coming out of your chest, as if the sun is bringing your heavy feelings along when setting. You can temporary forget about all your troubles, that’s the power of a sunset. It’s almost impossible to explain or describe such beautiful sight.”
“I hope to see the sunset. I hope to see you. Just for a day, and that’s enough.”
I turned to look at her and saw her tear-filled eyes. My heart aches so much to see her like that. I wiped of her tears with my thumb. “You will one day.” I assured her.
“I’ve been waiting for a donor for 20 years, it’s not my turn yet. To be honest, I’m not bearing anymore hope. If one day I can see the world, it will be miracle. And I don’t expect any miracle to be happening to me. Not being able to see is already part of me. It’s just that sometimes, I will think about the things I’ve been missing out. When you say that the sky is blue, what is blue? When you say that the grass is green, what is green? When you say that the sunset is beautiful, how is it beautiful?” I watched her as her tears made their way down her cheeks again.
I pulled her in for an embrace, stroking the back of her hands. “Don’t worry, I promise you that one day you will be able to witness how beautiful is the sunset.”
-----------------------------------
Gee gee gee gee, baby baby baby~
Tiffany picked up the phone call and slowly walking away while talking. Suddenly, I heard a loud screeching from her. I quickly walked towards her and placed my hands on her shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly.
“My doctor just called and he said that they found a deceased donor for me and I’m to receive corneal transplantation! Jessi! I can finally see you!” She hugged me after she finished her sentences.
“That’s great! Congratulation! I’m very happy for you.”
-----------------------------------
You’d better run run run run run~
I looked at the caller ID and its Taeyeon calling.
“Hello?”
“Jessica, I think you should come down to my club now. Tiffany has been drinking non-stop since an hour ago, I can’t stop her. She throws tantrums if I refuse to give her more alcohol.”
“Alright, I’m coming right now.”
I reached the club and saw Tiffany buried her face in one folded arm and holding a glass of beer with another hand. I made my way towards her and stand behind her.
“What’s wrong baby?” I asked as I’m stroking her back.
She pushed herself up and faced me. Tears immediately made my sight blurry when I saw Tiffany’s blood-shot eyes were puffy, her face is wet from crying, and her damped fringe was sticking onto her face. It’s heart breaking to see her in this state.
“My doctor called again earlier. He told me that the family of the deceased now refused to donate his corneal tissue. I should have known that good things won’t be happening on me. I shouldn’t have high hopes in the first place. Jessi, I’m such a fool right?” She was stuttering as she spoke.
I don’t know how to answer her. I can’t find the right words to comfort her. I swept her fringe off her face. I pulled her in for a hug. She buried her face into my chest and weeping her eyes out, every teardrop is piercing right through my heart. I don’t want to see her disappointed. I hate to see her disappointed.
-----------------------------------
TIFFANY’S POV
Gee gee gee gee, baby baby baby~
I traced the phone buttons and pressed the one to answer the call.
“Hi Ms Hwang, this is Doctor Kim. I have good news for you. We just found a confirmed donor for you but you are required to come down to the hospital now because we will have to perform the transplantation surgery for you in 2hours time. Are you able to make it Ms Hwang?”
I’m too shocked to respond. I don’t know should I be happy or not because I’ve been hit by disappointment before.
“Hello? Ms Hwang?”
“Yes yes, I will go down to the hospital now.”
“Okay good, we will start preparing for your operation now then. Goodbye, see you in a while.”
I couldn’t believe that this time I really getting the corneal transplantation. I couldn’t think straight, no word can describe how I feel. Jessica! Jessica is the only one who I can think of right now. I’m going to call her to tell her this, I want to share my happiness with her. I pressed on the speed dial number but apparently she turned off her phone. I tried again for a couple of times but quit trying eventually because I have to rush to the hospital. I called Taeyeon to pick me up instead.
-----------------------------------
When I reached the hospital, I was immediately being taken away for a brief physical examination by the surgical team then to the operating room. I was made to lie down on the operating table.
“Ms Hwang, anaesthesia will be injected and you will be in the state of unconsciousness. We will then perform the surgery.”
They proceed with the injection and slowly I’m getting sleepy and...
-----------------------------------
I don’t know how long I have been unconscious but when I woke up, I’m still seeing darkness again. I was initially disappointed, thinking that the surgery might be a failure. But when I reached up my hands to touch my eyes, I realised that they were bandaged.
“So Ms Hwang, you’re awake.”
The doctor slowly removes the bandages. “Open your eyes slowly okay.”
Brightness shot at me the moment I open my eyes, forcing my eyelids to shut close again. I slowly opened my eyes again, this time was less painful. The doctor then shone something at my eyes. Is that what they call light?
“The surgery is a very successful one. I checked that your eyes can see perfectly fine. Congratulation! If you feel that your eyes are tired, rest them okay. Don’t stress them. After a few days, you should be well enough to be discharged. I’ll move on to my next patient now. Rest well Ms Hwang.”
“Thank you doctor.”
I keep turning my head at all direction, looking at everything that’s available. Everything is new to me. For all my life, I’ve been imagining how everything will look like. Now, I can finally see! Then, I saw a girl walked into the ward, smiling at me.
“Jessi?”
“No, how can you not recognise you best friend at first sight?”
“Taeyeon! So this is how you look like!” I open my arms, indicate for a hug.
I released her from the hug. “Where’s Jessica?”
“I tried calling her but still can’t reach her. Maybe she busy or that her battery is flat.”
“I can’t wait to see her! I know she will be happier than me if she knows I can see now! I want to surprise her. I want to see her, I want to see the sunset with her! She must be very pretty, I wouldn’t be wrong!” I couldn’t control my excitement. “Anyway Taeyeon, please tell me about everything I’m seeing! Is talking black panel what you call television? Tell me which colour is which!”
JESSICA’S POV
I was standing outside the ward, listening to Tiffany’s excitement. I can’t stop smiling listening to all kinds of questions that she keeps throwing at Taeyeon. Finally, she’s able to see the world. I’m really happy for her. The word “happy” don’t do me justice in expressing my feeling.
“Ms Jung, we have been standing here for quite awhile. You should get back to your ward and rest now.”
I nodded and hold on to the nurse’s arm, following her.
I have been able to see the sunset for 20 years. Tiffany, now it’s your turn. I love you.
*******************
Jessica frowns in annoyance as she looks up the sky. The dark grey sky above pelts her with heavy raindrops, soaking through her clothes. She can already feel the wetness against her skin under her clothes and it makes her shiver. Jessica can almost see how frizzy her hair is going to be afterwards as well.
“God I hate the rain.” She mutters under her breath.
Her eyebrows, furrowed in frustration, rise in surprise when the rain suddenly stops.
To be more accurate, when the rain stops falling on her. The rain continues to pour down on the ground around her, but for some reason she can no longer feel the constant tapping of rain on her skin.
Jessica looks up, and finds that her vision is obscured by something large and a gaudy shade of hot pink.
An umbrella?
“So do I.” A voice comes from behind her.
Jessica spins on her heel, startled. She comes face to face with the umbrella’s owner; a pretty face with a pretty smile and an extended arm holding out an umbrella.
“Sorry?” is all Jessica can stutter.
The pretty smile widens and shows pretty, white teeth.
“The rain. I hate it too.”
Jessica makes an unintelligent sounding grunt-like murmur in response because she’s not quite sure what else to say, but she notices that the stranger is getting extremely wet and it takes her a second to process that the reason for this is because the umbrella she is holding is being held over Jessica instead.
Jessica motions for her to take the umbrella back with some hand flapping (very cool).
“No, I’m fine, it’s alright.”
The stranger grins and shoves the umbrella toward Jessica, letting go of the handle which forces Jessica to catch it.
“It’s fine. I live close by.”
With that the pretty stranger is leaving and Jessica watches her back disappear through the heavy rain. She later berates herself for being too stupid to ask for a name.
---
Jessica rolls her eyes as she feels droplets against her skin. It’s been raining a lot lately. The pink, collapsible umbrella has become a permanent fixture by the front door of her apartment and while its particular shade of pink draws unnecessary attention; she prefers it to getting wet. Jessica has even affectionately started referring to it as ‘Tiffany’, after the name scribbled in permanent marker on the handle.
She makes a “hup!” sound as she lifts the umbrella above her head. It’s an unusually heavy and large umbrella; like it was designed to cover two people rather than one.
As Jessica walks down the street, the rain gets heavier; drops turn into splashes and the pitter patter turns into a steady roar.
Through the heavy rain, a faint sound attracts her attention.
Singing?
She looks around, and a phone booth a few metres down the street catches her attention.
There’s someone sitting in the phone booth, probably waiting out the torrential downpour. Jessica steps closer and sees that girl in the phone booth has a fashion magazine open on her lap and is absentmindedly singing along to the iPod plugged into her ears. Snippets of a husky and warm voice reach Jessica’s ears.
Rihanna’s “Umbrella”. How ironic.
As she walks closer, Jessica blinks, pleasantly surprised. It’s her again.
Tiffany.
It’s raining again too, just like last time.
But unlike last time, Jessica’s already prepared in her head what she’s going to say before she approaches the two meter tall box.
Jessica knocks on the plasti-glass phone booth door and gives the other a smile when she unplugs her ears and looks up with a quizzical expression. She blinks up at Jessica, startled.
Jessica mouths the words slowly; “Need. A. Walk. Home?” She shakes the pink umbrella in her hand to make a point.
The girl stands up and dusts herself off, opening the door and facing Jessica with the sweetest smile she’s ever seen.
“Sure.”
---
Tiffany’s apartment is plain, but cozy. It’s messy, but Jessica can’t talk since her own is in a worse state. Jessica considers herself lucky that Tiffany has invited her in at all.
Jessica seats herself on a small couch and looks around. Pictures of smiling people on the walls, a clean, almost untouched-looking kitchen, a small television set and a low tabletop littered with magazines and empty take-out boxes.
Tiffany emerges from her bedroom in a simple hoodie and shorts and sits down on the other end of the couch, facing Jessica.
Tiffany pulls out her phone, dangling it by the phone-charm. “Dinner?”
Jessica suggests Chinese but Tiffany doesn’t have any Chinese restaurant numbers so Jessica dials it in instead. She finds that like herself, Tiffany also has take-out food services on speed dial.
While they wait for the food to arrive, Tiffany gets them both coffee and they sit down and quietly raise the cups to their lips.
Tiffany suddenly chuckles to herself and Jessica gives her a puzzled look.
“The order is mixed up.” Tiffany explains.
At Jessica’s blank stare, Tiffany continues. “Quietly drinking coffee together…you’re supposed to do it the morning after, right?”
“Morning after…what?”
Tiffany shrugs. “I don’t know; a particularly good date, an encounter with a charming cutie at a club, a night with too much alcohol…”
Jessica nearly chokes on her drink when her brain connects the dots. Tiffany giggles. Jessica wonders why it is she’s so slow around Tiffany. If Hyoyeon or Sooyoung were to see her in this state she’d never hear the end of it.
Jessica gives Tiffany a raised eyebrow, “So did you want to sleep with me first before we finish our coffee then?”
Tiffany blinks and Jessica blushes, realising what she’s just said. A few seconds of uncomfortable silence pass before Tiffany, to Jessica’s surprise, lets out a laugh. It’s a beautiful laugh, Jessica absentmindedly observes.
“I’m not that easy though. Especially with only coffee in me.” Tiffany says, winking at Jessica over the rim of her cup.
This time its Jessica’s turn to laugh.
The rest of the night thankfully passes without Jessica causing any momentary awkward silences. It’s actually quite natural, Jessica thinks in relief. They chat about their days and their jobs and their friends, eat while watching variety shows on television and trying to steal each others’ dumplings while the other isn’t looking, and at the end Jessica is rewarded with a number scribbled on her palm and a kiss pressed against her lips.
Taken aback, Jessica stares at Tiffany, who blushes and ducks her head before murmuring a goodnight and shutting the door in her face.
Jessica walks home with a smile so big that her cheeks still hurt the next morning.
---
“Oh!”
Jessica looks up.
“Jessica!”
Jessica feels a smile tug at her lips and she stands up. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Nice to see you again, Tiffany.” Jessica makes a point out of using the name because she likes the way she almost bites her lip while saying it. She’d noticed it when Tiffany had first introduced herself properly, and she’d also noticed how nicely shaped Tiffany’s lips were.
Tiffany had a lot of nice things about her.
“Yeah, thanks for walking me home last time.”
Jessica shrugs off the thank you with a lopsided grin. “No problem. Thanks for dinner.”
Tiffany shrugs too.
“What were you doing?”
Jessica looks up at the store’s veranda and then looks back down at the small step in front of the door. “Waiting out the rain.” Jessica laughs.
Tiffany opens her mouth but then pauses, biting her lower lip.
Cute.
“…Can I join you?” Tiffany ventures.
“No umbrella today?” Jessica asks.
Tiffany laughs sheepishly. “Guess not.”
Jessica sits back down and slides over to make space. Tiffany breaks out into one of her stunning smiles and joins Jessica on the step.
They wait out the rain together and talk about whatever comes to mind. It’s fun to listen to Tiffany talk; not only does she talk English which Jessica misses hearing, but the way she talks is so animated that a deaf person would have fun talking to her.
Tiffany tells Jessica about moving to Korea on her own back in her first year of high school, and her friends Taeyeon and Sunny. In return, Jessica tells her about her old schoolmates Sooyoung, Hyoyeon and Yuri, as well as her younger family friends Yoona and Seohyun. She discovers that both she and Tiffany were coincidentally born in the same hospital, have a similar love for mint-chocolate ice cream and both like their coffee as sweet as possible. She also discovers that when Tiffany is laughing, she claps if she’s entertained and raises a hand to her face if she’s embarrassed, and that eight of Tiffany’s upper teeth show when she lets rip one of her amazing smiles but ten if she’s really delighted.
Jessica doesn’t even notice the rain subsiding and she’s almost disappointed when Tiffany points out that the downpour has stopped.
But it’s okay, Jessica decides, because Tiffany gives her an unexpected hug before they part ways and Jessica gives her a spur-of-the-moment kiss on the cheek. She’s never seen Tiffany blush like that.
Before she rounds the corner Jessica looks back over her shoulder and catches Tiffany watching her. They both grin and duck their heads.
---
Jessica sighs, watching the water run down the window.
“Jessi?”
She’s pulled out of her thoughts and looks back at Tiffany, sipping coffee across the table from her.
“Y-yes?”
They’re at the stage where Jessica doesn’t get tongue-tied or nervous around Tiffany anymore, but the adorable inquisitive tone in the other’s voice coupled with the affectionate nickname catches Jessica off-guard.
“What’s the matter?”
Jessica jerks her head toward the window. “It’s raining again.”
Tiffany giggles, “Yes, I know.”
Jessica raises an eyebrow. “I thought you hated the rain.”
Tiffany just smiles and lifts her cup back to her lips. Jessica watches patiently as the younger girl sets it carefully back down again.
“Do you remember the time when we had to wait for the rain to stop outside that corner store?” Tiffany asks.
The change in topic doesn’t surprise Jessica; she’s been adjusting to Tiffany’s odd thought train.
“Uh-huh.”
“I didn’t mind it then.”
Jessica blushes.
“Actually, I lied to you back then.” Tiffany says. Jessica cocks her head.
“I did have my umbrella. It was in my purse.”
It takes Jessica a few moments to process Tiffany’s words. She gives Tiffany a funny look.
“So you…”
But Tiffany just hides her smile behind her caramel coffee again, her eyes twinkling.
---
Jessica frowns, shivering as the rain pours down around her and hammers on the shelter of the bus-stop. She’s been waiting for ever now and she’s beginning to think the bus is never coming. She glances at her watch.
7:44 pm.
Crap.
She starts hopping from one foot to the other impatiently. She’d rather not get wet but she’s one minute away from being ten minutes late.
It’s not too late, Jessica thinks too herself, you can still call and cancel.
But the thought is only fleeting and within seconds she’s made up her mind. Pulling her jacket around her as tight as possible, she runs off through the rain. She mutters curses under her breath as the rain drenches her.
By the time she’s arrived she’s soaked right through and her teeth are chattering so hard that her jaw hurts. Jessica raises her fist and hammers on the door until she hears footsteps on the other side. She breathes on her hands and rubs them together, telling herself that she’s an idiot to run for twenty minutes in a storm.
“You’re late-” Tiffany begins as she swings the door open, but she stops when she sees the state Jessica is in. As always, she doesn’t hesitate to speak her mind.
“Gee Jess, you look like crap.”
“It’s your fault.” Jessica mutters as she walks through the threshold.
She presses her ice-cold lips against Tiffany’s warm ones in a chaste kiss.
“What are you doing to me?”
---
Jessica smiles as she scrolls through the call log on her phone. The number [FANY <3] dominates the list. Nineteen phone conversations in just a month is pretty amazing, Jessica thinks with a giggle.
She looks up at the night sky outside the window; it’s currently showering the ground below with rain. When Jessica thinks back, she can’t remember a time when she was with Tiffany that it didn’t rain.
Jessica shuffles, about to slip out of bed, but then there are arms wrapped around her waist and a soft whining muffled against her side. Jessica flips over onto her other side and comes face to face with Tiffany, breathing softly in her sleep. Jessica brushes a strand out of Tiffany’s eyes, and traces her finger along Tiffany’s brow, nose, lips and jawline. She interlocks her fingers with Tiffany’s under the sheets, and in the moonlight she sees Tiffany smile in her sleep.
Snuggling as close to Tiffany’s warmth as possible, she lets the sound of rain lull her back to sleep.
---
“See, and this is from the time Jessica zoned out and fell into the lake.” Hyoyeon chuckles, leaning over with the photo in her hand.
She doesn’t want Jessica to be too embarrassed but Tiffany can’t help laughing at the photo – Jessica looks like a mudman.
Yuri claps and laughs, “Ahhh, that’s right! I remember that.”
“She was muddy everywhere. And I think we found a fish in her pocket right?” Sooyoung sniggers.
Jessica blushes, sinking into her seat.
“Shouldn’t you guys be going now?” She suggest through gritted teeth.
“Ehhh? But we haven’t been to your apartment in forever!” Yuri whines.
“Yes, but you’ve spent a good four hours embarrassing me already. If you don’t go home…”
Jessica gives her a level stare.
“…I may have to not know you anymore.” She finishes coolly.
“But it’s raining. You’re going to send us home in the rain?”
“I’ll pay for your cab.”
“But! But…but…”
Sooyoung stands with a sigh, “Fine! I know when we’re not wanted! Let’s go guys!”
Hyoyeon and Yuri reluctantly get to their feet with dejected expressions.
“Let’s go get noodles! And then afterward we’ll get chocolate ice cream! Without Jessica!”
Hyoyeon and Yuri grin at Sooyoung’s suggestion, cheering in agreement.
Jessica pouts at them, knowing that they’re naming her favourite foods just to tease her. How juvenile.
“Don’t get up! We’ll see ourselves out!” Sooyoung announces. “Tiffany, it was a pleasure meeting you. We leave Jessica in your capable hands.”
All three of them salute Tiffany, to which she replies with an “Uhhh….okay.”
They can still be heard as they leave the apartment and disappear down the corridor.
“Mint-choco! Mint-choco!”
“I want super-star ice cream!”
“Yah, Hyoyeon you idiot, it’s called shooter-star.”
“You’re both stupid.”
Jessica rolls her eyes as the voices fade and Tiffany laughs. “Your friends are a riot Jess.”
“Yes, I apologise.”
“It was fun though! I wasn’t expecting them to be that cool.”
Jessica raises an eyebrow, “What [i]were you expecting?”
Tiffany shrugs. “I dunno, I thought your friends would be more like you.”
“Like me?”
“Yeah you know, like semi-comatose or like zombies or something.”
Jessica throws a cushion at her.
---
Jessica hums to herself as she waits in the rain, sitting on the steps in front of Tiffany’s apartment under her newly-bought baby-pink umbrella.
When Tiffany gets there she’s panting and red-faced.
“Did you run?” Jessica asks, taking Tiffany’s hand.
“I didn’t want you to have to wait in the rain.”
Jessica smiles.
“Do you still hate the rain?” Tiffany asks.
“No.”
Tiffany grins as she and Jessica shake the droplets from their umbrellas and enter the apartment.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”
Jessica laughs and Tiffany adds, “Me neither.”
[i]It reminds me of you.
---
“Heeyyyyy” Tiffany laughs as she runs up to Jessica, tugging on the hem of the older girl’s jacket.
Jessica laughs, patting the girl on the head. “What’re you so happy about? Are you drunk?”
Tiffany giggles, “No I’m not drunk. I’m just happy.”
“Happy about what?”
“Can’t it just be that I’m happy?”
Jessica scoffs, adjusting her scarf.
“Hey hey, today, it’s our first ever outside date y’know?”
Jessica scrunches her brow in thought, “It is?”
“Yeah! We could never go out before because it always rained on the days we met.”
“…Huh.” Jessica replies, and Tiffany hits her in frustration at her lack of reaction.
Jessica exacts vengeance with a flick to the forehead and runs away with a laugh before Tiffany can get her back.
“Maaaeeeeerong!” Jessica drawls, pulling a face.
“H-hey! You little…” Tiffany hisses, before chasing after her. Jessica giggles and evades her, running a short distance out of Tiffany’s grasp.
“You may be a fast runner but I’m more agile~”
Tiffany scoffs, “Yeah, agile like a dead monkey.”
“Hey! I’m Jessica Jung, the ace soccer player y’know? You might have the speed but I have the technique!”
“But not the stamina.” Tiffany gives a confident smirk, “I’ll outlast you. When you’re tired and out of strength, I’ll pounce and it will be your end.”
Jessica gives a “Ha!” sticking out her chest and pointing a finger at Tiffany, “I hope that’s a challenge!”
“It is!”
“You’re on!”
Tiffany and Jessica run down the street together, completely engaged in the game and almost running into other people.
They’re both panting by the time they reach the park, their breath visible in the cold air. Tiffany grins a predatory grin because Jessica’s already run out of steam. She steps toward her but stops when she feels cold against her cheek.
“Aww, no way, it’s raining?” Tiffany exclaims and looks up.
Catching her breath, Jessica steps closer. “No it’s…snowing.”
They both stand still for a while watching the quiet white fall down around them. Tiffany holds out her hands and lets the snow pile in her gloves.
Tiffany blinks, “First snow?”
“I guess so.”
“That’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?” Tiffany
Jessica shrugs.
Tiffany smirks, and palms the snow into Jessica’s face.
“Gotcha!” Tiffany laughs as she runs away. She spins on her heel to stick her tongue out at Jessica.
“MAAEEEEERONG!”
Jessica gives a cold expression as the snow drips off her face.
“God I hate the snow.” She mutters under her breath.
Tiffany couldn’t sleep. But how could she? Who was the smart person who decided every kid six years and younger had to take an extra thirty minute rest between 2:00 and 2:30 anyway? She squirmed uncomfortably under her pink bunny-print blanket.
“Tiffany!” Oh no, that must be Mrs. Uchida. “Go to sleep, please.” Tiffany, in a feeble attempt to hide from her teacher, ducked under her sheets. It was darker under the blankets, almost like nighttime…but Tiffany still couldn’t manage to close her eyes. She was tired of getting yelled at by Mrs. Uchida everyday for being awake during naptime. Tiffany was already down to two stickers on the Star Chart. If she lost one more, she would have to stay in during recess and learn the two times tables. She shuddered at the horrifying thought. No, she couldn’t let that happen. Well, it wasn’t her fault she didn’t want to do something she already did every night anyway during a time where she could be playing outside. Tiffany let out a big sigh of frustration. Next to her, she could hear steady breathing coming from the checkered purple sleeping bag to her right. It was Jessica.
Oh, Jessica. She was the legendary napper of Room 14. There were rumors that she could fall asleep anywhere – and within two seconds, too! Looking at Jessica’s unmoving figure now, Tiffany didn’t doubt the rumors in the slightest bit. It was at this time Tiffany decided she would seek advice from the greatest sleeper in the entire Kindergarten grade. Wavering slightly, Tiffany’s finger peeked out from under her blankets and poked Jessica’s shoulder. She then proceeded to poke Jessica’s cheek, pull her hair, tickle her neck, and flick her forehead. Jessica didn’t move at all. Tiffany’s mouth opened in shock.
This person was truly amazing.
“Tiffany,” a voice which Tiffany could only assume was Mrs. Uchida called out, “are you bothering Jessica?” Tiffany froze. With horror, Tiffany looked down only to find her hands clenched around Jessica’s blonde hair and her finger pushed up against Jessica’s cheek.
“…No?” Tiffany responded wincingly. Mrs. Uchida rolled her eyes in exasperation.
“Please try to go to sleep.” Mrs. Uchida pleaded, “There’s still eleven minutes left.”
“Okay.” Tiffany agreed abruptly, dropping her hands and hiding under her blankets once more. She decided she would ask Jessica during recess tomorrow for tips on this napping thing instead. For now however, Tiffany submitted to just lying down for the next eleven minutes. Some would say, the longest eleven minutes of her life.
--
“Jessica! Jessica!” Jessica turned around only to find a small girl with black pigtails running towards her at full speed. Oh goodness, it was Tiffany Hwang. Class Ball of Energy.
“Oh,” Jessica greeted politely, “hi Tiffany.”
“Don’t I have a treat for you!” Tiffany exclaimed, her pigtails bobbing up and down in excitement. “I’m going to let you train me on how to nap!”
“Are you saying this like it’s a favor?” Jessica asked incredulously.
“Favor?” Tiffany stared in bewilderment. “What’s that?”
“What will you give me?” Jessica continued, ignoring Tiffany’s question.
“Give…you?” Tiffany asked, obviously surprised and unprepared for Jessica’s question. “How about…my Malibu Barbie doll?”
“It’s missing an arm.”
“But it still has its head!” Tiffany pouted stubbornly. This Jessica girl is too picky. “Fine! How about I draw you a picture?”
“Yesterday I saw you draw a four-legged chicken.” Jessica proceeded to argue.
“That was a cat…” Tiffany trailed off in disappointment. “Alright, fine! I will find out how to nap by myself.” As she started to walk away, Tiffany started thinking about some techniques she could use to fall asleep. Like maybe recording one of Seohyun’s “fast food can kill you” lectures and listening to it under her blankets. That always made her feel sleepy…
“Okay Tiffany!” Jessica called out, grabbing her arm. Her face looked amused. “I’ll help you.” Tiffany immediately turned around.
“Really? Will you really?”
“Sure.”
--
For the remainder of the recess, Jessica tried her best. She had tried hypnosis by swinging a yo-yo back in forth in front of Tiffany’s eyes...
“Ow the yo-yo hit me!”
“Sorry.”
She had tried to concoct a sleeping potion with chocolate pudding and apple juice...
“Drink it, it’s good.”
“EW NO. Why is it all poopy colored?”
“Uh…That’s the color of magic.”
Jessica had even suggested gluing Tiffany’s top and bottom eyelashes together with her super strength glue stick.
“No.”
…But the idea was shot down.
By the time recess ended, it was naptime. Worried, Tiffany shook Jessica.
“Oh no Jessica! What am I supposed to do?” Jessica bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows.
“Maybe…it's not you!” Jessica mused. “Maybe it's your blankets! Maybe your blankets are cursed!” Tiffany’s eyes opened wide at the realization of Jessica’s brilliance.
“Yeah! Maybe you’re right!” Tiffany exclaimed, jumping up and down. Jessica smiled widely, brimming with excitement.
“Okay Tiffany. I have an idea.”
--
Mrs. Uchida peered up from her book to do her daily nap check up on Tiffany. This kid could not sleep even if she was super-glued to her blanket. However, when Mrs. Uchida looked up she was shocked to find the pink blankets on the floor without an owner. Momentarily panicked, she searched the room until she found Jessica’s purple sleeping bag with two lumps instead of one. Tiffany was inside the bag along with Jessica. Her leg was wrapped around Jessica’s waist and Jessica’s arms held Tiffany’s head close to her neck. It was the first time Mrs. Uchida saw Tiffany ever sleep that soundly during naptime.
Smiling, Mrs. Uchida sat back down and read her book in peace for the first time ever that year.
~*~
“Sica, have you seen my…”
The question died on SooYoung’s lips when she noticed the rather sinister look on her roommate’s face, the older girl bent over her desk as she scribbled furiously into her notebook. SooYoung slowly backed out of the room then, recognizing the determined gleam in her eyes. The last time she saw that gaze was when Yuri had played a rather elaborate prank on Jessica involving several cucumbers, a whoopee cushion, and a hairdryer. After that, for a week straight, nearly everything the poor girl ate was tainted with a ridiculous amount of cleverly hidden wasabi. Whether it was ice cream, chicken, fried rice, soup, carp bread, even Yuri’s grinded Ma drinks; nothing was spared from the monstrous green paste. It took nearly two hours of begging on Yuri’s part for Jessica to accept the apology and stop.
Closing the door softly behind her, SooYoung let out a breath as she raised her hands, praying that whoever messed Jessica realized what was coming to them.
~*~
Jessica really didn’t like Totoro. No, scratch that.
Jessica hated Totoro.
She didn’t have anything personal against the stuffed…thing (honestly, what was it anyways?) but Totoro was the cause of a very, very serious problem.
It had turned cuddle-with-Jessica time into cuddle-with-Totoro time.
For that, Jessica decided that Totoro had to die.
And yet it was two weeks later that Jessica found herself lying on Tiffany’s bed, the stuffed animal in her arms as she embraced the thing tightly, breathing in Tiffany’s scent. As much as she wanted to get rid of it, she couldn’t. That isn’t to say she didn’t try though.
She tried. She tried many, many times. And as silly as it seemed, the stupid stuffed thing managed to seemingly outwit her every single time.
~*~
The first few attempts Jessica made at stealing Totoro were simple enough; she figured she’d just wait until Tiffany put it down to whisk it away.
She realized the flaw in her plan immediately when it dawned on her that the issue she had in the first place was that Tiffany was too busy hugging Totoro to hug her. Because no matter where she looked, the stuffed doll always seemed to be in her arms. Whether it was during their trips to the airport, riding in the car, or tugging it around the dorm, it never left Tiffany’s sight. She even held it during some of their concerts for Christ sake; the duo was practically inseparable from each other.
So then Jessica figured she’d wait for a moment where Tiffany would put the stuffed animal down. While the girl carried it nearly everywhere, the key point was that she literally couldn’t carry it everywhere. Jessica figured she’d steal it away right before they left the dorm and hide it somewhere to deal with it later. And yet this failed too, because no matter how many times Jessica successfully managed to grab Totoro and stuff it away somewhere, by the time they got back Tiffany always managed to find it. Under the sink, in the closet, on the balcony, in the freezer; it was like Tiffany had a honing device implanted in it so she could always find it (and knowing Tiffany’s attachment to the doll, the idea wasn’t that far-fetched to begin with).
This had gone on for what seemed like forever, with each failed attempt driving Jessica more and more insane. Finally, she had the opportunity when the girls went out to go grab some food; she had opted to stay back at the dorm along with Sunny under the guise of wanting to catch up on some sleep. The moment the group left the dorm, Jessica practically ran for Tiffany’s room, laughing manically the whole way, leaving a puzzled and somewhat disturbed Sunny behind.
Jessica stared at the creature in her hands, the smirk on her face widening with each action she could do to the stuffed toy. Throwing it off the roof and lighting it on fire were the more violent options, although she had entertained the thought of just giving it to a random kid on the street (she wasn’t completely heartless). And yet as Jessica continued to stare at the doll, she found her grin fading, as it finally kicked in that she had Totoro in her hands, at her mercy.
Jessica sat on the bed with the doll, taking a close look at the thing. While its fur was still white where it was supposed to be, it was worn. The doll had taken a clear beating, as there were some hand stitches in places where it was clear that the doll ripped, and the doll was not as cushiony as it was when Tiffany first got it. The leaf that sat on top of its head was hanging on by a few loose threads, the nose starting to fray.
Tiffany loved the doll dearly, and while Jessica reasoned to herself that she would get over the loss eventually, she knew deep down that Tiffany would be devastated for a while. And as much as she hated Totoro, she loved Tiffany more. And the last thing she wanted to do was make the girl sad.
Sighing, she lied on the bed, the doll secure in her arms as she gave up, knowing that the doll won this round. Hugging it closer to her, she noted with a smile that while the doll did look a bit odd, it was a rather good pillow. And best of all, it smelled like Tiffany.
Jessica was still hugging the doll when the girls came back, Tiffany bouncing into the room and grinning at the sight of her sleeping girlfriend. Easing herself onto the bed, Tiffany waited for Jessica to shift over and hug her like she always did.
So Tiffany was rather confused when all Jessica did was let out a soft snort and cling even tighter to Totoro, the blonde cracking her eye open just enough to get a glimpse of Tiffany before closing once more.
“You’re back,” Jessica said softly, a small smile playing on her face as she tried to burrow deeper into Tiffany’s bed, the warm covers lulling her back to sleep.
“I am,” Tiffany said amusedly, somewhat confused at her girlfriend’s actions (or lack thereof). “So, don’t I get a cuddle?”
“Nah, Totoro’s comfier.”
Tiffany let out a bark of laughter, amused at Jessica’s joke. It wasn’t until she realized that Jessica really did fall back asleep that the girl was serious.
“YAH!”
************
“Sica! You and Fany are up first.”
'Eh? Aish, how troublesome.' Reluctantly, Jessica got up from her seat. She delicately picked up a pink hair tie from the table next to her and grabbed her long blonde hair to tie back.
“Hurry up Sica! You really move too slowly.” Sooyoung complained.
“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Jessica replied as she hesitantly moved to the chairs in front. 'This really is a useless game.' Sighing, she sat down.
Hyoyeon grinned and clapped her hands, “Alright! Are you ready now?”
“Wait a minute! Can someone explain the game again? I don’t really get what to do,” Tiffany laughed, showing off her eye-smile. From the corner of her eye, Jessica spotted Tiffany’s smile and blushed.
Yuri rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation, “What? You guys don’t play this back in America? Okay, so the name of the game is “Honey, if you love me.” Fany, you have to try to make Sica smile in any way you want. ”
“But,” Yoona interrupted, “you have to use the starting words, ‘Honey if you love me, please smile for me.’” Sooyoung burst into giggles while Seohyun watched the scene unfold with amusement. Jessica widened her eyes,
“Gyah! That’s too embarrassing!” she exclaimed, looking incredibly horrified.
Tiffany apparently agreed, although she responded with a laugh, “Yeah! Isn’t that a little much?”
“Hah! Too bad. That’s the game.” Yuri laughed.
“Oh! And Sica! Fany gets three minutes to try to make you smile. If you smile, Tiffany wins!” Sooyoung added with enthusiasm.
“Yah!” Sunny exclaims with a laugh, “Are you guys done? Let’s go! Tiffany versus Jessica!” Sunny then proceeded to make a gesture that looked like she was commencing the start of a competition.
Tiffany sighed and looked Jessica straight in the eyes,
“Honey if you love me, please smile for me.”
“No.”
“Hey! Why not?” Tiffany cried out.
“I don’t love you,” Jessica responded in defiance.
“Yes you do.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes!”
“Guys!” Yoona exclaimed in exhaustion, “Get to it already!”
“You try making the Ice Princess smile! She’s like...like an ice cube!” Tiffany complained, frustrated, “This is way too hard!”
“Okay…this time, try saying other stuff too.” Seohyun calmly suggested.
“If you smile for me Sica, I’ll let you sleep in two more hours tomorrow!” Tiffany coaxed.
Tempting…but--
“No.”
“Three more hours!” Jessica winced and her eyes expressed her conflicted opinions. 'Maybe I should just smile and take the extra hours of sleep…'
“Don’t do it Sica!” Someone exclaimed.
“Wait until she offers mor—“A muffle was heard shortly afterwards.
“Five! I’ll let you sleep in five hours tomorrow!”
“Yah! Fany-ah! We have training early tomorrow. No way will Sica be allowed to sleep in that much!” Sooyoung reprimanded.
“1 minute left.” Seohyun reminded offhandedly.
Desperate, Fany falls to the floor, hands clasped together,
“Jessica! Please, please, if you love me, please smile for me!”
“No.” 'Gah! She is too unreasonable! This is way too difficult. It’s time to bring out the serious bribes.' Tiffany thought to herself.
“If you smile for me, I’ll let you borrow any of my clothes!”
“...Eh.”
“I’ll brush your hair everyday!” Tiffany pleaded.
“I can brush my own hair.” Jessica responded dryly.
“You can borrow my CDs!”
But still, Jessica’s mouth remained in a defiant line.
“Sica-honey, I’ll give you cakes if you smile for me,” Tiffany asked, a sweet grimace plastered on her face.
A small twitch could be seen on Jessica’s lips – but no, it was not a smile. Tiffany let out a sigh and glimpsed up at Jessica’s face. Shyly she asked,
“Sica-sweetie, um, when we eat,” Jessica glanced down in surprise and confusion,
“...Uh…what?”
“When we eat, I’ll pay for you,” Jessica's mouth parted in shock, 'Is this... what I think it is...?'
Tiffany took a deep breath and continued, “I’ll take you to that patbingsu place you love so much. We can go together.”
She couldn’t help it. Jessica smiled.
“Will you really? You’ll go eat some patbingsu with me?” Her brown eyes looked down at Tiffany’s kneeling position hopefully.
Tiffany laughed and hugged Jessica, “Yes, I really will.”
“And you'll buy me cakes? And eat them with me?”
Still grinning, Tiffany nodded her head.
“Yah! Tiffany wins!” Yuri celebrated, “Sunny, you owe me 5000 won!”
“Sica! How could you? I betted on you!”
But Jessica didn’t really seem to mind. With a smile still plastered on her face, Sica laughed,
“Hey. This game really isn’t that bad after all.”
***********
The sunlight sneakily crept its way between the dusty blinds and into a rose-colored room. Although the room was small, it was tidy. Books were carelessly thrown aside and a bright red bag leaned neatly against a large mahogany work table. Across the desk was a pale cream bed, lined with fine white lace. A delicate body shifted under the thick cream comforters. Disoriented, a young teenager emerged from the sheets.
“Tiffany! Get up! You’re going to be late for your flight,” a voice called out.
“I know, I know,” Tiffany murmured sleepily, “I don’t understand why you always insist on yelling so loudly in the morning, Taeyeon.” Dainty footsteps could be heard coming up the staircase. A petite female soon stood impatiently in the ivory doorway.
“Hey, it’s not my fault you wanted to go off and sing in Korea,” Taeyeon huffed.
“Ha, you know debuting in Korea as an idol has always been my dream,” Tiffany replied with a yawn, “besides, I can’t stay here with you forever.”
“I already told you that you could,” Taeyeon sighed in exasperation, “we’re friends, after all.”
Tiffany looked at Taeyeon with narrowed eyes, “Do you really think I can live here comfortably, knowing you’re housing and feeding me for free?”
“Ye—“
“You know I can’t.” Tiffany interrupted with an offhanded wave. “Besides, I already told you. Going to Korea as a trainee is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I really want to go.”
“Fine, but you better visit me.” Taeyeon surrendered, throwing her hands up. “And change quickly,” she hastily added, throwing a pair of pants and a t-shirt towards Tiffany, “your flight leaves in an hour.”
--
Feet fumbling, light laughing, small stepping…Tiffany could hardly remember when life was like that anymore. Tiffany faintly recalled her first day of dance class; she was five then. She remembered walking for what seemed like forever before she came face to face with a large burgundy door. Although her short legs were tired, her face showed excitement and overwhelming anticipation. Smiling brightly, she grabbed the brass knob on the entrance and let herself in.
At the time, the dance studio seemed vast and elegant. Great tan wood blanketed the floor and huge mirrors encompassed the white walls. Ample blue curtains and extravagant designs enveloped the capacity and bright white light shone from the embellished windows. Actually, Tiffany had just recently visited her childhood playroom. But now the place looked small and cramped. Its wallpaper and curtains torn down for renovation, lavish floors uprooted and replaced with dreary carpet; it became just another painful reminder of what was.
“Hi. You must be the new student.” Tiffany turned around in shock, only to find a brown-haired girl introducing herself. “My name is Jessica. Jessica Jung.”
“Jessica…Jung,” Tiffany repeated the words slowly.
“Yes. Jessica Jung, age five and two months.” she confirmed, completely serious. “I’m Group 2A’s leader.” Now that Tiffany looked back, Jessica’s overly serious demeanor for a kid was amusing, even laughable; but at age five, it was intimidating.
“Um, hi?” Tiffany cautiously greeted, still overwhelmed at the surprisingly somber and grave attitude this Jessica girl emanated.
“I’m here to train you.” Jessica informed with the utmost solemn expression on her face. Tiffany had no idea that Tiny Tot’s Dance Class was such serious business. It wasn’t.
“Oh,” Tiffany looked at her with a worried grimace, “okay.”
The next couple weeks Tiffany learned more about Jessica. Tiffany knew she hated the smell of cucumbers, although God knows why. She also noticed that despite Jessica’s talents and grace, nobody liked her. When Tiffany realized that, she was confused. Who wouldn’t like Jessica? Tiffany learned later that people mistook Jessica’s cold and cool demeanor as arrogance and rudeness. But she didn’t care. Tiffany was proud to say that she was one of the few people who really understood Jessica. Five year old Tiffany, however, had no clue why Jessica was so disliked. Desperate to learn why, she constantly asked Jessica herself why this was. However, whenever Tiffany brought up the subject Jessica seemed to just brush it off.
“I’m not a people person,” she always claimed, “I don’t care if I’m liked or not.” But Tiffany, even at age five, knew she did.
“But I like you,” Tiffany smiled comfortingly, “and you like me too, right?”
“…Yeah,” Jessica always told her, “I do.”
And it was like this for a while. Laughing, dancing, running, eating. Everything they did, they did together. Kids who used to dance with them said they never saw Jessica smile unless she was with Tiffany. And although Tiffany always smiled, they claimed she was never truly happy unless Jessica was right there next to her. But happiness doesn’t last forever. They were seven when Jessica told Tiffany she was moving.
“Where?” Tiffany asked, upset, “Are you moving…to another city?” Jessica wasn’t facing her when she told her the news and she wasn’t facing her now.
“No,” she responded flatly, “I’m moving to another country.”
“Crunchy?” Tiffany had not yet known this type of vocabulary.
“Country,” Jessica nonchalantly corrected, “I’m going to travel across the ocean and become famous. I’m going to sing and dance. You’ll see me on TV one day, you know.”
Tiffany bit her lip and her eyes welled up with tears. She wanted to be happy for Jessica – she really did. But she couldn’t. How could she leave her here? What about their Sunday play dates? And what about coloring shapes together?
“W-well…” Tiffany stuttered. “Will you come and visit?” She looked up with a hopeful glance. Jessica’s back was still turned away.
“No,” she said with blunt sharpness, “I can’t.” Tiffany thought she saw Jessica's shoulders shake, but she couldn't be sure. And just like that, she left. Out of the studio, out of the state, and out of Tiffany’s life. Tiffany would have run and stopped Jessica if she hadn’t been so overwhelmed by what had just happened. But at the moment, all seven year old Tiffany knew how to do was cry.
So for the next nine years, Tiffany worked hard. She swore that one day she would make something of herself. She, too, would work hard and become a famous singer. And then maybe one day, both of them would see each other on the same stage.
--
“Madam? Madam!” Tiffany was woken up only to find a young stewardess shaking her. “We’ve arrived at Incheon airport.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Still jetlagged and sleepy, Tiffany rubbed her eyes. “Thanks for waking me up.” Tiffany slowly stood up from her seat, still disgruntled from the long flight. Tired, she grabbed her suitcase and bag and headed out of the plane.
“Ugh,” she groaned as she pulled her suitcase along with much strain.
“Do you need any help?” Tiffany glanced up to see who she could only assume to be SM Entertainment’s manager. He greeted her with a polite bow and extended his hand.
“Oh, no,” Tiffany laughed, embarrassed, “I’m fine.” She hastily stood up and bowed back.
“We’ve prepared for your stay here in Korea,” the SM manager informed, “and have even arranged one of our very own to help you around here. Jessica is one of our longest trainees here at SM.”
As Tiffany looked up, she saw the slim back of a teenager with long brown hair. The rigid stance she held had an eerily familiar cold and poised demeanor. The girl slowly turned around.
“Oh, hi. You must be the new trainee.”
***************
Tiffany was feeling sorry for herself as she made her way home after dinner alone at the fast food restaurant near her college. She saw a random pebble on the walkway and headed towards it in determination to vent her frustrations through it.
Stopping in front of the pebble, she took careful aim and prepared to give a hard kick, wanting to send the pebble into oblivion as a sign of her frustrations. But of course, according to Murphy’s law, anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
She aimed, gathered her strength, kicked and went “Ouch!”, gathering odd looks from the passersby.
She cursed silently while hopping on one leg to the nearest bench. She has forgotten that she was wearing slippers and therefore, kicking a pebble on an uneven walkway is a rather risky act, which eventually resulted in her sore, stubbed toe.
Mumbling to herself, she continued her walk back to her hostel. Despite being a Monday evening, the campus and hostel were pretty quiet since the college was having a two-week break after the grueling examinations last week.
At times like these, Tiffany almost regretted her choice to come all the way to Korea to further her studies when she could have done the same in LA with much less hassle. Then again, being an American-Korean, she has always wanted to get to know her Korean roots better, which brought her here now.
However, not heading back home in LA is the least of her troubles at the moment. It will be her 23rd birthday tomorrow (technically in a few hours) and what was meant to be a joyous occasion was looking bleak, now that her friends have all gone for vacations or back to their respective hometowns to spend time with their families.
Out of her group of friends, she was the only one left in the hostel and she had no family to return to or to spend her birthday with in Korea either.
She sighed and took long, dreaded slow steps towards her hostel. She took the elevator to the ninth floor and headed to the first apartment unit on her right.
Tiffany shared the apartment with four others, all of which are her age, while another four live in the apartment next to theirs. Undoubtedly, it was usually chaotic when all nine girls got together for meals, movies, to study and so on, and Tiffany sorely missed those moments now.
The corridor was quiet, too quiet for her liking. She opened the apartment’s door and sighed at the dark interiors, a sign of emptiness in the otherwise lively house.
She turned on the lights and put her belongings in her room before heading for a shower.
Having no one at home to fight for the washroom was not fun either. She remembered those times when the girls played silly games like rock, paper and scissors to decide who gets to use the washroom first.
After changing into comfortable t-shirt and shorts, she flopped herself on the spacious sofa in the living room, which she used to think was too small, and turned on the television. Frustrated by the lack of interesting shows after flipping through the channels, Tiffany sighed again.
Just then, the clock chimed loudly in the silent house to signify the first stroke of midnight on August 1st and Tiffany murmured to herself, “Happy birthday to me…”
She turned off the television and picked up a magazine on the table before she heard the door bell ring.
“Who could it be?” she asked no one in particular.
She peered through the door’s peephole but did not see anyone at the door. She felt a little creeped out (especially after the horror movie a few days ago) but curiosity got the better of her and she opened the door slightly, with the security chain still attached and looked outside.
Instead of something out of a horror movie, she saw a trail of red rose petals along with lighted candles at every short distance, leading up the stairs to the roof.
She came out of the apartment and followed the trail upwards. She pushed open the roof access door and saw another trail, lit up by what seem like pink Christmas lights, highlighting both sides of the trail.
(Author’s note: When you step out of the roof access door, you will be facing the east (right) of the building. The rest of the roof is not visible to you from where you stand now so from the door, you have to walk to your left and left again before you see the spacious rooftop. I hope I am making sense here. Also, the roof is actually a nicely decorated garden with outdoor furniture and television in a gazebo-like shade.)
She followed the trail of lights to the spacious garden roof area, which was lit up by the comfortable garden lighting.
Tiffany came to the end of the light trail, which led to a big, pink heart, also shaped using the Christmas lights.
“Happy birthday to you…” Tiffany spun around quickly when she heard someone singing the birthday song.
Tiffany couldn’t believe her eyes and gasped at the sight of Jessica, one of her best friends and housemates, standing some distance away, with a birthday cake in hand.
The blond girl gave her a smile and proceeded to walk towards her with the cake, complete with two big candles and three smaller ones, while singing the Happy Birthday song with her sweet voice.
Tiffany felt her heart beat faster as the girl made her way closer. The soft light from the candle lit up her well-defined, pretty face and the light made her blond hair shone more in the night.
With what seemed like immaculate timing, Jessica finished singing the birthday song just as she stood about two feet in front of the birthday girl and grinned again.
“Happy birthday, Tiffany!”
Still trying to comprehend the situation, Tiffany was at a loss for words.
“W-why are you here? I thought you went to New Hampshire to meet your friends?”
“I’ll explain later. Make your wish quickly! The candles are burning fast!”
Tiffany closed her eyes and put both hands together to make her wishes. Jessica was silently gazing at the younger girl’s serene face with a happy smile on her face.
Done with her wishes, Tiffany smiled and opened her eyes to be greeted by Jessica’s still-smiling face and her heart skipped a beat again. She bit her lips a little before blowing on the candles to extinguish them.
“So, why are you here?” Tiffany asked, confused while trying to mask the joy in her voice.
“Well, let’s just say that I can’t let you celebrate your birthday alone.”
“But, what about the trip? I thought you have been planning for so long and you were looking forward to it so much.”
“Well, I can always go on the trip any time in the future. But I want to spend your birthday, a special day, with you.”
Tiffany teared up at her words, secretly wondering if she was dreaming. After all, she did not expect her friend to plan all these surprises just for her birthday, at the price of giving up her precious vacation.
Well, technically, Jessica was her crush for three years, but Tiffany never had the courage to confess and Jessica seemed oblivious to it.
Jessica took Tiffany’s right hand and led her to the gazebo, tucked in one corner of the roof garden.
She set down the cake on the table and turned on the television. She clicked ‘PLAY’ on the DVD player and Tiffany gasped again at the sight of her friends on TV.
The dorky group of seven took turns to wish her a happy birthday and apologized for not being able to spend it with her, but promised to make it up when they come back.
Of course, the fun-loving group came up with their own hilarious version of the birthday song and that made Tiffany laughed out loud.
Despite their cheerful wishes and dorky acts, Tiffany was touched to tears and was missing her friends, just after a couple of days apart. Jessica looked at her laughing and crying friend in surprise but smiled nevertheless.
What came next on the DVD was a bigger surprise and Tiffany forgot to cry as she watched on.
Her older brother and sister, Leo and Michelle also left video messages for the birthday girl, their baby sister. She did not realized how much she missed them too until she saw them on TV now.
And finally, her tears came pouring down when her father appeared on the screen. When Tiffany insisted on coming to Korea years ago, her father objected but the headstrong girl went ahead anyway and their father-daughter relationship was a little strained, to say the least.
She has not seen her father for the past year and he seemed to have gotten a little older, with more visible wrinkles on his face and especially those on his foreheads, results of many frowns. Tiffany wondered if she was the cause of them.
As with most dads, they are not so fluent in conveying their affections and Daddy Hwang was no different.
“Stephanie, it has been years since you left home to study in Korea. I know we don’t talk much whenever you come home but do always bear in mind that I love you and always misses you. Do call home more often okay? Happy birthday, dear.”
Expecting the video to end there, Tiffany was once again surprised by one last video recording. It was Jessica.
Tiffany turned around, trying to find Jessica but she was nowhere to be found. She turned her attention on the TV again.
In the video clip, Jessica said, “Hello there. I guess you must be wondering where I am by now. Hehe… I thought it would be too awkward to watch myself on TV…”
“Anyways, happy birthday once again! I hope you liked my little surprise today. And like I said, I really wanted to spend your birthday with you so don’t feel guilty about me cancelling my trip.”
Jessica hesitated before continuing her little speech.
“Umm… there is something that I have always wanted to tell you. I… I don’t know when this started but I think I like you. You know, like like… umm…”
“I know we didn’t get off on the very best start but after spending so much time with you, I couldn’t help liking you. And I guess that “liking” – she does the air quote signs – has taken a step further.”
“My heart beats faster when you are near me, or when you hug me or hold my hands. I can’t keep my eyes away from you and yet I try to look away in case you catch me at it,” she swallowed.
“Well, I understand if you don’t feel the same, of course…” she laughs awkwardly, “and this is also why I can’t watch this with you.”
Jessica bit her lip before continuing hesitantly, “I am waiting at the park next to the hostel but if you don’t feel the same, then you don’t have to come.”
“I will know your answer if I don’t see you in an hour. When that happens, let’s just pretend nothing happened today and we shall continue being friends, okay? No hard feelings, right?” She smiled forcefully.
“Happy birthday, Tiffany… And,” she takes a deep breath, “I love you.” And the television screen went dark.
Tiffany was this close to hyperventilating. With shaky hands, she picked up the DVD player's remote control and replayed Jessica's confession.
This time, she was sure that it wasn't a dream. Shaking away the fog in her mind and the tears in her lovely eyes, she rushed into the roof access door and ran down the stairs as fast as she could to her floor.
From there, she waited for the elevator and jabbed the buttons repeatedly, as though such action will make the elevator reach faster.
She came out of the building and headed to the park, without noticing that she was still in her pink fluffy bedroom slippers.
The park was about two blocks' away and even from a distance, Tiffany can see a slim figure pacing about. Identifying Jessica was easy, especially when her golden locks of hair shimmered from the streetlights.
Tiffany walked slowly and quietly towards Jessica as she watched the blond girl stop her pacing and settled down on a bench nearby. Even that did not stop her from fidgeting.
The latter sat upright, then shifted her position to prop her chin on her hands in the next minute. Before you can say ‘blond’, the worried girl leaned back on the bench again.
Tiffany walked slowly behind her and the distracted girl did not hear her coming as she was too immersed in her own thoughts.
The blond girl almost shrieked when she felt a pair of arms hugging her from behind. She spun around faster that you can say ‘cucumber’ (sorry I couldn’t resist ) and saw the pair of warm, loving smiley eyes looking at her from behind.
Still locked in an embrace, Tiffany spoke softly, "Jessi... I... I..."
Expecting the worse, Jessica turned away and sighed. She swallowed the sadness, which is surging to surface and forced back her tears.
"I understand..." she said in a shaky voice.
"No, you don't." Tiffany let go of her and looked at her in the eyes seriously and mustered all her courage before continuing, "I love you, Jessi."
Jessica couldn't believe her ears and looked at her disbelievingly.
Tiffany continued, "Yeah well, I had that look on my face when I watched your video message earlier.”
“Like you, I didn't know when I started feeling this way either. Maybe it started from the all those time you spent tutoring me. I know I still did badly but it's not because you're a terrible tutor. I was too distracted by you to actually listen."
She giggled, "Or maybe it was that time we spent weeks trying to find the perfect dress for the prom to find our prince charming and we ended up slow dancing together because we were so disgusted by those creeps who tried to hit on us."
Jessica replied wryly, "I had to keep swatting them away when they flocked to you."
"Flocked to us actually. I guess the feeling was mutual. I couldn't stand seeing them flirt with you either."
"Really???"
"Yesss..." Tiffany turned towards Jessica and took hold of both her hands.
"You know what, Jessi? Thank you for giving me a very memorable and unexpected birthday present and surprise." She paused. "It really means a lot to me."
She enveloped Jessica in a hug and the latter pulled her closer with both arms around her waist. The feeling of being in each others’ arms was indescribable.
They stayed like that for some time before Tiffany let go. While showing her famous eyesmile, Tiffany cupped Jessica's face gingerly with both hands, albeit shakily, and leaned closer until she can feel Jessica's warm breath on her face.
Getting impatient with Tiffany’s hesitation, Jessica took the initiative again and leaned in to kiss the birthday girl softly on the lips, before she felt Tiffany reciprocate.
As they pulled away shyly, they felt as though they were enveloped in a sense of happiness not felt before. They sat on the bench silently with their fingers entwined, with goofy grins on their faces as they remembered the happenings earlier.
“You know what?”
“Hey Jessi…” They spoke at the same time.
They looked at each other in the eyes and continued their unrehearsed words, “… Let’s go for a vacation together!” before bursting into laughter.
To passersby like you and me, it would be quite a pleasant sight to see two pretty girls enjoying each other’s company like this. However, these two are basking in happiness in each other’s company and only them, can tell you the stories behind their laughter and joy.
Whoever said that you should not fall for your best friend, has obviously never experienced it before. In Jessica and Tiffany’s case, they are meant to fit like how a glove fits a hand (or like how a Smart Cover fits the iPad 2. Oops… But hey, if you’ve seen how it works, you know what I mean. It just clicks.)
Here’s to many more happy JeTi moments in the future!
***********
*riiiiiing riiiiiing*
“Ugh…” The girl under the white blanket groaned. She slammed her palm on the ringing pink, Hello Kitty designed alarm clock and it stopped ringing.
She stayed under the sheets, face down on the pillow, for a couple of minutes trying to remove any trace of sleep in her senses before finally sitting up. The blanket dramatically unveiled her face and it slid down to her lap. She thought she heard the door bell ringing but when she listened again, nothing came.
Tiffany Hwang raised her hand to cover her face from the 8am sun’s rays that are coming from the window next to her bed that blinded her for a moment. Her hair was sticking up everywhere, tussled from sleep, her eyes were squinting in the brightness of the room, her lips in a frown and her eyebrow furrowed. But she immediately smiled when her red Sony Ericsson W995 on the night stand started ringing.
There are two factors that motivates her to wake up every morning- the sound of the alarm clock ringing and the name of her special someone in her inbox. Much more better if that person was calling, like right now.
She immediately grabbed her phone, slid it open, and put it in her ear. “Hello Taeng?”
“Ahem… sorry to disappoint you but I’m not Taeyeon.” The voice from the other line sounded impatient.
“Oh! Sorry!” Tiffany removed the phone from her ear and checked the caller ID before putting it back to her ear. “Yuri! What’s up?”
“What’s up?!” Yuri suddenly exploded. “I have been ramming the door bell for ten minutes now! Aren’t you going to open the door?!”
“Geez, relax. I might go deaf! I’m coming!” Tiffany slid her phone shut and stood up quickly to fix herself.
After fixing herself, she put her phone on the glass coffee table in the living room before jogging to the door. She even forgot to wear her indoor slippers in hurry.
“Sorry.” She said as she opened the door to let Yuri in.
Yuri walked past her and took a seat on the black couch in Tiffany’s living room as if it was her own.
“What brought you here?” Tiffany asked as she took a seat beside Yuri. She dug her toes into the thick pile carpet below them.
“Tiffany, you can’t afford to be late today like yesterday, the day before yesterday, the day before the day yesterday, the-“
“I got it! Get straight to the point.” Tiffany cut impatiently.
“I’m saying, you should go to school early today. The papers you’ve submitted for the volunteer work to teach those students who failed in Mathematics were approved and you’re going to meet your student today at nine. After meeting him or her, at 10am, you can continue with your class and meet with the person after class for tutoring. Are you sure you can do this?” Yuri looked at Tiffany concernedly.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, multi tasking, teaching while studying all at the same time. You should balance it so your grades wouldn’t fail.”
Tiffany sensed the hint of warn in her friend’s voice but she couldn’t just stand and watch those who are failing. Tiffany was born a natural kind-hearted person and it saddens her when she’s seeing people struggling with anything.
“I can do this. I just can’t really help but to pity those who fail when I find it really easy. Knowing that I understand Mathematics well, why not help them? You know Yuri, you should try helping sometimes.” Tiffany offered her friend.
“Why?” Yuri asked casually as she fixed her tussled skirt.
“You would love the feeling when you’ve helped a person. Seeing the person getting high grades and you know that part of it was because of you. It feels good.” Tiffany rubbed her chest as if she was feeling the sensation she was describing.
“Tiffany, I don’t have time for that. I can’t even balance my own grades. Anyways, I should go now. I can’t afford to be late; my class starts at eight thirty.” Yuri stood up and headed for the door.
“Tsk… Just because you live next door doesn’t mean you can burst in my apartment like that. You could have just texted me or called me. Now you’re going to be late.” Tiffany scolded as she led Yuri to the door.
“I’ll call a cab for you.” Tiffany offered kindly because it would be the least that she could do.
Once out of the building, she hurriedly walked to the side walk and hailed a yellow taxi. But unfortunately, another girl with the same school uniform as Yuri’s was hailing the same taxi and they grabbed the door’s handle at the same time. Their eyes locked. We meet again. Tiffany thought, remembering very well that this girl was the reason why she was always late.
“Excuse me, I had it first.” The girl with brown eyes said, same with what she always says when Tiffany and her were fighting over the same taxi every morning. Though she was wearing a uniform identical to Yuri’s, the two girls don’t recognize her. It doesn’t really matter to Tiffany about the girl’s identity; she just needs to send Yuri to school fast.
“I had it first.” Tiffany retorted. “Yuri, hurry, get inside.” She pulled the door open and shoved Yuri inside before closing the door. I’m not going to let you have the taxi today like the previous days.
The taxi left and it blew a puff of dark smokes to the two girls who were having a glaring battle. None of them flinched.
“Great.” The girl said sarcastically before glancing at her wrist watch. “Now I’m going to be late.”
“Let it be. It would be the first time that you would be late. Unlike me who has always been late since you came here.” Tiffany retorted.
Every morning, since the last two weeks, they have been fighting over the same cab and it was the girl who always gets the cab. At first, Tiffany let her, thinking of chivalry because the girl looked new in the place but it continued for two weeks and it started pissing Tiffany off.
Realizing what she said, her eyes grew wide. “****. I’m going to be late again!” she ran back to her apartment in full speed, leaving the girl confused.
Preparing would take her thirty minutes and the ride, by cab, would take ten minutes. She would be lucky enough if she would arrive at exactly 9am.
“Ugh!” She groaned as she took three steps at a time in the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator. Her legs and thighs are starting to ache from the unexpected force. “I officially hate mornings!”
She doesn’t have any idea that, sooner or later, she would love mornings… and afternoons.
~.~
Tiffany arrived in front of her adviser’s office at exactly nine fifteen. She cursed under her breath before grabbing the silver door knob. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as if it would shield her from the coming sermon of her adviser that would greet her once she opened the door. She turned the knob, pushed it open and prepared herself from the coming loud voice.
But nothing came.
She opened her eyes one by one and saw her adviser, directly in front of her, behind her working table, looking strangely at her.
“Is there something wrong Miss Hwang?” The woman behind the desk asked. She has auburn hair that flowed up to her shoulder, her dark eyes were covered with thick reading glasses but the wrinkles around them were still visible under the light make-up.
“Erm.. I- I thought you’re going to scold me because I was late.” Tiffany stuttered as she closed the wooden door behind her.
Tiffany was well familiar with the room; she has been there a couple of times. Brown floorings, brown wallpapered walls and white ceiling. The main table was where her adviser works, it was colored brown too. The only thing that wasn’t brown were the black plush chairs in front of the desk. It looked almost like the office of the president of the United States with all the foreign historical stuffs displayed including the flag of America.
“You’re lucky because your student was also late.” The woman stood up and motioned for Tiffany to take a seat on one of the plush chairs. Tiffany followed.
The woman walked to the tall but slim, iron, folder cabinet and pulled the second drawer open. Tiffany watched as her adviser’s legs, firmly planted on the ground, contracted with the force but her heels were making it hard. After struggling for quite a while, the drawer finally slid open and the woman fished out a white folder before sitting back to her seat.
“Here’s your student’s report card.”She handed the folder to Tiffany before going back to her typing job.
Tiffany opened the folder and the first thing she saw were the grades. Every subject was high enough to pass but Mathematics was failed since the first and second grading period. Tiffany shook her head.
She flipped the card over to see the name of her student. She read the information.
Jung Jessica
18 y/o
Transferred from: Soshi Academy
Tiffany moved her eyes to the far right corner of the card and saw the girl’s picture. She has brown hair that laid down to her shoulders, bangs covering her forehead and right eyebrow. She was wearing a black shirt; her eyes curved cutely and she was smiling sweetly to the camera. Tiffany felt as if she was hit by a lightning and her heart started beating fast even louder than the whirr of the computer next to her.
Her lips curved into a smile. Today must be my lucky day.
The sudden burst of someone into the room pulled Tiffany out of her trance.
“Sorry I was late!” The girl said as she bowed. Once she looked up her eyes met Tiffany’s and it grew wide.
“You!” She pointed accusingly at Tiffany.
“Hello.” Tiffany smiled sweetly as she waved.
“You’ve already met?” The teacher asked.
“Yes ma’am. We’ve met this morning… actually, every morning.” Tiffany said casually as she walked closer to the other girl, steps inaudible on the white thick carpet.
“And she’s the reason why I was late.” The girl glared at Tiffany.
“Tiffany Hwang.” Tiffany offered her hand but the girl just looked at it disgustingly.
“Jessica Jung.” Jessica muttered under her breath.
“Ma’am, I think we shall go ahead now.” Tiffany spun her arm around Jessica’s shoulder and led her out of the room, not bothering to wait for their teacher’s response.
“Get your filthy hands off me!” Jessica complained as she slapped Tiffany’s arm away.
Tiffany looked at her dejectedly. “Awww... I was just trying to be nice.” She said, knowing that Jessica wouldn’t buy it.
“You could have done that an hour ago.” Jessica retorted as she walked away from Tiffany.
“I don’t get it. Why are you late when you’ve left earlier than me?” Tiffany walked sideways as she looked at Jessica, trying to keep their distance close.
Jessica stopped on her tracks. “The first batch for getting the class schedule was at eight thirty. I was late because you let that girl into the taxi first and I needed to wait for the second batch at nine o’clock.” Jessica glared but Tiffany didn’t even flinched.
“Ooooh… okay.” Tiffany said and Jessica rolled her eyes before walking away again. This time Tiffany didn’t followed her.
“Meet me in the front gate after school!!” She called out to the striding girl.
She smiled as she watched the girl walk away. I wonder how long I can pretend to be mean to her.
Once the girl was out of sight, Tiffany turned on her heels and walked to her first class but when she was about to take her third step, she heard a sound coming from the adjacent hallway to her right. No one was around since they were having their class and it confused Tiffany as to who would be roaming around the building at this time.
She followed the sound silently and realized that it was coming from the locker room. The sound she heard was a moan coming from a familiar voice, filled with ecstasy.
“Uhh.. Taeyeon… not there. It’s ticklish!”
That’s all that it took for Tiffany to decide that that day, her relationship with Taeyeon would end.
~.~
Tiffany rested her back on the wall beside the school’s front gate, shoulders slumped. The darkening sky seemed to lull her even deeper into her sad mood. She watched as hundreds of students walked out from the gate before dispersing into the high way in front of the gate like flash flood. She knew that the tears that were coming would be like that- nonstop flood or even a tsunami if she couldn’t hold it in anymore. She wasn’t in the mood to teach Jessica anymore after she caught Taeyeon with another girl. It broke her heart but the cheating needed to stop so she broke up with her. Today wasn’t my lucky day.
“Hey.” Jessica said once she neared the girl. Tiffany looked up.
“Where do you want to study? In my house or your house?” Tiffany wasn’t in the mood but she knows that Jessica needed her. If she wouldn’t teach Jessica, the girl would fail again on the next grading period and she’s not in the mood to act mean to her.
Jessica studied the girl’s sad features and she instantly knew that something was wrong and the girl wasn’t in the mood to teach her. She thought if they would study in her house, Tiffany wouldn’t be able to go home safe and she decided that they should just study in Tiffany’s house. She would use it as an excuse to send the girl home and leave without bothering the girl to teach her. They still have a lot of days till exam.
“Your house.” Jessica said and waited for Tiffany’s “You’re not my stalker who just wanted to know my house, are you?” but nothing came.
Tiffany walked away without a word and Jessica followed suit.
~.~
“Given these numbers…” Tiffany pointed at the numbers she has listed down on the paper with the end of her blue ballpoint pen. “How much greater is Ve than Vm?”
Jessica listened and followed Tiffany intently. She was surprised as how Tiffany made it looked easy and for the first time since she met Mathematics, she thought she’s starting to like it. They were sitting comfortably on the floor, legs crossed and knees brushing, and the coffee table served as their working table. Jessica found the girl’s apartment simple, with the motive of black and white. Simple but elegant.
Jessica’s plan of going home once she sent Tiffany home wasn’t accomplished because Tiffany insisted on teaching her. With Tiffany’s puppy eyes and pout –which Jessica still find amusing that she still can act cute though she have some problems- she gave up and let Tiffany do what she wanted. And also, coincidentally, Jessica’s apartment was on the same building, it’s just that hers was on the third floor and Tiffany’s was on the second floor.
“So this is how you do this… you’ve already solved the value of Ve right? Just substitute it to Ve/Vm… so it would be like this.. 9.63 x 1011 km3/ 2.20 x 1010 km3 … and it would be 4.372.. that’s how great Ve is than Vm.” Tiffany looked at Jessica and the girl saw clouds in Tiffany’s eyes. It was as if Tiffany was ready to break down in any minute. “Did you get it?”
“Erm… Tiffany… based on the rules, it was supposed to be 43.72”
“It is?” Tiffany checked her notes. “Oh yeah, it was 43.72” Tiffany tampered the wrong answer to changed it to the right one but even before she had the chance to write the number two, Jessica grabbed her trembling hands. She was surprised as how tender Jessica’s skin felt against hers.
“Tiffany…” The girl looked up and their eyes locked. “You don’t have to push yourself. I know there’s something wrong. You can still teach me some other day.”
Tiffany shook her head stubbornly. “No. I can teach you. I was the one who volunteered for this work. I need to fulfill it.”
“Tiffany, you’re not in the right mood today.” Jessica doesn’t know why but she feels affected by the girl’s sudden change of mood.
Jessica bit her lower lip when Tiffany just bowed her head. She knows that she wasn’t in the right place to pry but she needed to make Tiffany cry. If she wouldn’t cry, she might explode sooner or later from the heavy feeling in her chest. Knowing that there was no one she could ask, and nothing she could do, she decided to just do it herself.
“If you don’t mind me asking… what’s wrong?” She squeezed Tiffany’s hand softly.
And as expected, Tiffany burst out crying, face covered with her hands. Jessica succeeded, she made Tiffany cry. Now what? She doesn’t know what to do next. She doesn’t know how to comfort the girl. She wanted to hug Tiffany badly but she couldn’t because it was improper, since they just met this morning, unless it was Tiffany who would hug her.
“That’s right, just cry it all out.” Jessica gripped the thick pile of soft carpet below them where they were sitting.
“I loved her, Jessica… but she cheated on me!” Tiffany sobbed as she pulled her knees to her chest, hiding her face form Jessica.
She? Her? So… she swing the other way. Jessica realized.
Right then and there, she admired Tiffany. Tiffany was strong enough to admit to herself that she was bisexual unlike Jessica who was having an identity crisis. She was attracted to both genders but she was afraid to admit it, thinking that it was just curiosity just because a lot of people around her were bisexuals. Jessica couldn’t admit it to herself, she doesn’t even look at any girl in fear of getting attracted to them but Tiffany caught her eye. No matter how hard she tried to not look at her and think about her since she saw the girl one morning, she couldn’t help it. There’s just something about Tiffany that’s attracting her like a moth to a light. She tried acting mean but Tiffany didn’t even flinched.
Am I attracted to her? No Jessica! You’re not! You’re straight! Jessica fooled herself.
“Don’t think about her anymore. She doesn’t deserve you.” Jessica comforted.
She slowly raised her right hand to rub the girl’s back but she stopped in mid-air. She couldn’t do it as much as she wanted to. It’s not right and she’s afraid if Tiffany might slap her hand away.
“It’s not that easy.” Tiffany’s voice sounded hopeless and she sobbed even harder. She loved Taeyeon very much that she even gave anything she has for their relationship. She has never once thought that Taeyeon would cheat on her. Maybe she has been cheating on me since the very start.
Jessica denied her thoughts and rubbed the girl’s back soothingly, but once her palm made contact with Tiffany’s back, the girl turned abruptly and enveloped her in an unexpected hug. It was very tight that Jessica thought she might die of asphyxiation and shock.
Once she recovered from shock, she slowly spun her arms around the girl loosely in an awkward hug.
“Just cry it all out today but make sure that you’ll smile starting tomorrow. My grandmother used to tell me that if you’re sad, just cry it all out once you’re alone, and the next day, smile as if nothing happened to you… smile in front of everyone and make them wonder what’s making you laugh.” Jessica said as she rubbed the girl’s back. Tiffany hugged her even tighter.
“The tanned girl with raven hair… ask a help from her.” Jessica was bothered that she couldn’t even compose a grammatically correct sentence.
For a moment, Jessica pondered why Tiffany hugged her. They just met this morning and she already felt comfortable with Jessica? Jessica’s heartbeat reached her ears and she silently wished that Tiffany wouldn’t hear.
“Yuri doesn’t know anything about love.” Tiffany sobbed. Jessica felt her uniform getting wet from Tiffany’s tears but she didn’t minded.
Jessica bit her lower lip and played with Tiffany’s hair. “I don’t know anything about love either.”
Jessica does know something about love. It’s just that she keeps on denying it.
~.~
“I’ll call a cab for you.” Tiffany offered as she led the girl to her door.
“There’s no need. I’ll just walk.” Jessica said as she stepped out, observing Tiffany’s red puffy eyes.
Tiffany sniffed. “No. It’s already late. You should take a cab.” Tiffany, too, stepped out but Jessica grabbed both of her shoulders to stop her and their gazes locked.
“Tiffany…” Jessica said tenderly and Tiffany felt soothed. She doesn’t know why but there’s just something about the way Jessica says her name that comforts her. It’s as if she wanted Jessica to repeat her name again and again. “I’ll just walk. I stay at door 22.” Jessica pointed her forefinger upward. “On the third floor.”
Tiffany felt stupid. Of course Jessica lives close by because they hail the same taxi every morning!
“Really?” Tiffany flushed. “That’s… that’s convenient. I’ll accompany you to your place then.”
“No. I can manage.” Tiffany felt assured with Jessica’s tone and the look on her face.
“Okay.” Tiffany nodded slowly. “Take care.”
Jessica gave a tight smile and pinched Tiffany’s red nose. “Don’t cry anymore.”
Tiffany was baffled with Jessica’s warm side –So warm that Tiffany wanted to cuddle with her forever- that she didn’t even noticed that Jessica have already left and disappeared on the elevator.
~.~
“Taxi!” Tiffany called hurriedly as she jogged on the sidewalk but she stopped on her tracks and turned around to look at the familiar voice who called the same taxi she was calling.
“Again?” Tiffany said.
“I called the taxi first.” Jessica defended.
“Look.” Tiffany pointed at the taxi next to her. “He stopped in front of me. It’s mine.”
“No. It’s mine.” Jessica said as she opened the taxi’s door but Tiffany blocked her from getting inside.
“Look. Just because I cried to you last night that means I’m going to be nice to you and be your friend because I wouldn’t.” Tiffany glared and was shocked to catch a glimpse of sadness in Jessica’s eyes. Jessica averted her eyes away.
“I didn’t said that.” Jessica shoved Tiffany away and she quickly jumped inside the cab and left, sending black smokes in Tiffany’s direction.
Tiffany stood there, stupefied. She even forgot the time because of shock and the change in Jessica’s voice. It was sharp and it stabbed Tiffany’s heart deeply. But Tiffany knew that it was her fault. If she didn’t said that, Jessica wouldn’t get mad at her.
But nevertheless, she admired Jessica. The girl’s ability to understand the situation without needing to say it to her. Like last night, she instantly knew that there was something wrong with Tiffany and she didn’t acted cold to her, instead, she turned warm. And now, this. When Jessica realized that Tiffany was finally okay and was treating her harsh again, she treated her harsh too. She was what?!
Tiffany smirked as she shook her head. “This is odd… I’m starting to like her.”
~.~
Jessica stood in the cafeteria’s entrance and eyed the crowd of students having their lunch. Some were already seated on their regular tables with their friends and some were in the line, choosing foods they wanted to eat. The cafeteria was noisy that she couldn’t even hear her own thoughts. She eyed the long line and winced. It would surely take a long time before she could buy her lunch.
Just then, she saw Tiffany. Amid the crowd she stood out like she was glowing. She was looking at a certain direction and her eyes looked sad. Didn’t I told her to smile?Jessica followed the direction and found, in the farthest table in the corner, a girl with her arms around another girl’s shoulder. Jessica would have mistaken that Tiffany was looking at anyone because there’s a lot of people but the girl was having an eye contact with Tiffany. The girl somehow looked smug.
Jessica’s hands turned into a fist. She might be her ex. How dare she to show off to Tiffany that she already has a new one?! Jessica took a deep breath and strode her way to Tiffany. On her way, she bumped a couple of people passing by but she didn’t minded. Her right shoulder bumped into a thin girl’s sharp shoulder and it hurt her, but she kept on moving forward.
Just a little bit. I’m close. She urged herself and once she neared Tiffany, she grabbed the girl’s hand. Tiffany turned to look at her in shock, showing the clarity of not sensing someone was coming her way.
“Jessi--?” Tiffany stopped in mid sentence when Jessica hugged her unexpectedly, an alluring whiff of Jessica's perfume filled her nostrils. People around them started looking confusedly at them.
“Smile.” Jessica moved a bit to face her back to Taeyeon so the girl would see Tiffany’s face. “Smile and make her wonder what’s making you happy.” Jessica whispered.
Tiffany remembered that but she couldn’t seem to do it… not until a couple of seconds ago. Jessica somehow transferred some of her courage to her. She relaxed and her tensed shoulders slumped. She bent her body a bit forward to rest her chin on Jessica’s shoulder, slowly lifted her arms and hugged Jessica back. She smiled gratefully not because Jessica said so but because she was happy that Jessica was there to help her again. She didn’t miss how Taeyeon’s expression changed before looking away.
Jessica felt a pain from her shoulder and muffled a wince. Tiffany just pressed her chin on Jessica’s bruised shoulder. For a moment, Jessica scolded herself. She reacted on reflexes again and now engaged in an awkward hugging moment with the girl. She doesn’t know why she felt affected with Tiffany’s sadness but all that she knows was that she wanted to be the reason for Tiffany to smile again.
“Thank you Jessica.” Though Jessica liked the soothing effect accompanied by Tiffany’s voice, she couldn’t just let Tiffany think that they’re going to be friends. Like what she said this morning. She was still holding grudges though she thought it would disappear seeing how sad Tiffany was.
“Don’t have the wrong idea… this is the last time I’m going to do this.”
But Jessica knew deep inside that it wasn’t the last.
~.~
It certainly wasn’t the last. It was followed by a lot more situations that Jessica saved Tiffany from, like a knight in shining armor. Though Jessica didn’t supported the girl physically, she made sure to support her psychologically in the past weeks until she finally moved on and stayed single. It was one of her ways to pay Tiffany for tutoring her and saving her from every math equation she couldn’t decipher.
Their sessions continued for weeks until the day before their periodical exam. Though Tiffany thought Jessica well, she couldn’t help but feel nervous when she took a seat in the examination room. Her hands trembled when the questionnaire was passed to her. She read the questions and to her surprise, it wasn’t the usual undecipherable equation but it looked very easy. Using Tiffany’s teachings and enough courage, she passed the examination day without breaking a sweat.
Their usual ‘fighting-over-a-cab’ situations every morning continued and no one still gave way to give the taxi to the other one. It became their usual morning routine. Like today.
“Tiffany, let me have it this time.” Jessica argued as she blocked the taxi’s door from closing. “You had the taxi yesterday.”
Tiffany looked up from the backseat. “No.” she stuck her tongue out.
“Aish…” You’re giving me no choice. “Scoot over!” Jessica demanded and Tiffany obeyed, looking confused.
Jessica hopped to sit beside her, closed the door and they left.
“You know, we could have done this a long time ago.” Tiffany said sheepishly.
“Yeah.” Jessica agreed and Tiffany sensed something odd about her. Usually Jessica would retort but this time, she didn’t.
“What’s wrong?” Tiffany asked as the taxi stopped in a red light.
“Today’s the distribution of cards.” Tiffany instantly knew. She was afraid of her grades. She held Jessica’s trembling hands that were clasped on her lap and squeezed it lightly. I knew I couldn’t stay mean to her for a long time.
“I know you did your best. And I don’t really mind teaching you again for the last grading period.” Tiffany offered a kind smile.
Jessica was surprised as how soft Tiffany’s hands were in hers. “I’ll knock on your door when I got home.”
Tiffany nodded. “I’ll wait for you and the good news.”
It didn’t even occurred to Tiffany that it wasn’t going to be a good news.
~.~
“Oh Jessica! You came earlier than I expected.” Tiffany said as she opened her door and let Jessica in. They settled on her black plush sofa.
Tiffany eyed Jessica. She was still acting odd. Her hands were trembling, report card tightly gripped and her head was ducked. Tiffany feared the worst.
“Jessica… did you failed?” She asked carefully.
Jessica didn’t answered.
“Let me see.” Tiffany rested her hand atop Jessica’s and her grip loosened.
Tiffany studied the card and she was surprised with the results. She looked at Jessica again and waited for her to laugh or smile but nothing came. “Jessica you… you passed. Why are you sad?”
Jessica knew she would have to tell Tiffany soon. She was well aware of her feelings for the girl and seeing that she passed this grading, it only meant that she doesn’t have any reason to see Tiffany anymore. Like the two of them said, they’re not going to be friends and they didn’t. After all that they’ve gone through, Tiffany’s heartbreak, Jessica’s identity crisis that Tiffany still doesn’t know but she would, sooner or later, and their efforts together to adjust, they still aren’t friends.
What Jessica realized since she met Tiffany was that it’s hard to run from a feeling that haunts her every now and then and it’s painful to tell her heart that she doesn’t need it. She keeps on pretending that she’s better to be alone, when in fact she feels so empty. But why take chances if she sees no hope? Why try when there’s nothing to win for? Sometimes it pays to wait. Never hurry. Let infatuation die a natural death and give birth to true love when it’s time.
“Yeah, I passed… but that means I don’t have reasons to see you again.”
Tiffany was shocked with Jessica’s bluntness but she felt happy. She has thought of it, that once Jessica passed, they’re not going to see each other again, but she was afraid to ask Jessica to keep in touch with her. Since the girl helped her to move on, her feelings for Taeyeon disappeared but she was certain that her feelings were transferred to Jessica. She admitted to herself that she liked Jessica, but as far as she know, Jessica was straight and she’s not going to ruin their simple relationship by confessing to her. She felt hopeless but after hearing what Jessica said, it only meant one thing. She wanted to be friends with me and that, alone, was enough for me.
Tiffany would have endured the pain of losing Taeyeon alone but she was glad that Jessica was there. She made the recovery fast. Their encounter in the cafeteria had unlocked in her a longing she never imagined she could feel. Her affinity for staying single and the simple freedoms it allowed had been shaken somehow... replaced by an unexpected emptiness that seemed to have grown over the past year even if she was in a relationship. Jessica filled the emptiness but Tiffany couldn’t risk their friendship.
She has always believed that true love doesn’t need any commitment. Sometimes, people just have to stay in the way things are, in order to not risk precious understandings and relationships.
“I think we should start from the beginning then.” Tiffany said and Jessica just looked at her, confused.
Tiffany jumped on her feet and stood in front of Jessica. “Hi, I’m Tiffany Hwang.” She offered her hand for a hand shake.
Jessica smiled slowly. She looked at Tiffany’s hand… and took it. “Jessica Jung.”
“Friends?” Tiffany asked with a lopsided grin.
“Friends.” Jessica confirmed and Tiffany sat back beside her, one arm around Jessica’s shoulder.
“Hmm… what should we do for our first bonding?” Tiffany asked as she rubbed her imaginary beard. “How about a sleep over?”
“Huh?” Jessica asked confusedly.
“You’ll sleep with me.” Tiffany blurted out.
It was already late when she realized what she said. Jessica’s cheeks turned pink and she ducked her head low. Way to go Tiffany!
“Uhhh.. I didn’t mean anything else… We’re just going to sleep… nothing else. I swear.” Tiffany tried to redeem herself but that just made Jessica blush even more.
Okay. I’m not gonna talk again.
Just when Tiffany gave up, Jessica nodded slowly, almost shyly.
~.~
*riiiiiing riiiiiing*
“Ugh…” The girl under the white blanket groaned. She slammed her palm on the ringing pink, Hello Kitty designed alarm clock and it stopped ringing.
Tiffany Hwang sat up and raised her hand to cover her face from the 8am sun’s rays that are coming from the window next to her bed that blinded her for a moment. Her hair was sticking up everywhere, tussled from sleep, her eyes were squinting in the brightness of the room, her lips in a frown and her eyebrow furrowed. But she immediately smiled when the girl sleeping beside her stirred.
There was one thing that Tiffany realized this morning: It was really nice to wake up in the morning, hear your phone ringing and the one you love was calling but what’s more nice was to wake up in the morning… was to have your love beside you while sleeping and listen to her yawning.
Tiffany turned to her right and observed the girl’s angel-like features.
Whatever was between us was still unknown but as long as we’re happy with each other, we’re going to stay friends and take every advantage of it.
**************
The air was humid. Tiffany had already taken off her jacket, but it didn’t help. It was only getting hotter and hotter in the elevator. She took a sip of her water bottle, trying to cool down. There wasn’t much water left.
She stole another glance at the other girl in the elevator. Her blonde head was leaned back against the wall, a drop of sweat running down her face. Tiffany had tried to start a conversation several times, but every time she was met with a dismissive attitude. She sighed. How unlucky could she be? Getting stuck in the elevator with an unfriendly stranger, but worst of all it was her first day on her new job. Maybe she would get fired for being late.
“We sure were unlucky,” Tiffany tried to start a conversation, “getting stuck in the elevator. How clichéd is that.” Tiffany laughs a little.
The other girl cracked open an eyeball, shortly looking at Tiffany before closing it again. Tiffany held her breath, waiting for the girl to say something, but she didn’t.
“And it’s my first day. Not a good way to start huh.” Tiffany tried hard to keep her voice cheerful to create a better mood.
Still no response.
“I’m going to be working at the media center. My name is Tiffany Hwang.” Tiffany paused, waiting for the other girl to introduce herself. “And you’re name is…?”
She was finding it gradually hard to converse and she felt herself growing irritated with the other girl. At least she could talk just a little. After all they were stuck together here for god knows how long.
Instead Tiffany tried to take a peek at her nameplate.
“Jessica…” She could almost see the last name, occupation and department, when the other girl moved her jacket a little and hid the nameplate.
Curiosity got the better of her.
“So Jessica which department are you in?”
Jessica opened her eyes, regarding her with cold brown eyes before turning away.
“Excuse me,” Jessica said, grabbing her mobile and punching in the number from the elevator company.
“Yes this is Jessica Jung calling from the elevator at SBS. I’ve already pressed the emergency button and you should have gotten the signal. Almost an hour has passed. When will your technician be here?”
Tiffany could hear a noise from the phone as the other person on the line spoke. Jessica furrowed her brows.
“I don’t care if there have been another elevator breakdown! Get another technician…”
It sounded like the voice on the phone was explaining something nervously.
“I know for a fact that you’re the biggest company dealing with elevators and maintenance. You should have enough technicians for several breakdowns. Now, get their asses moving or give me the number to the technician. You don’t want your reputation to be ruined…” Jessica growled and finished the call.
The anger was visible in her jaw line. Jessica took a deep breath, sweat visible on her forehead. Silence filled the air. Jessica’s face was pale and she leaned back, trying to hide a pained expression.
“So… um… are you alright?” Tiffany finally asked.
”I’m not good with small spaces… and strangers.”
“Oh… um I…” Tiffany stopped.
Jessica gave her one last look then closed her eyes.
For a long time Tiffany sat silently, observing the other girl. As time passed Jessica became more and more pale. Her breathe coming out short and fast as her body gradually collapsed.
Tiffany took a deep breath, standing up and walking over to Jessica. Wasn’t there a saying; stupidity can kill you. She didn’t want Jessica fainting on her, because she apparently was stubborn bordering on the stupid or what it was.
She hovered over the other girl, thinking about how she should do this, when Jessica opened her eyes with what seemed like a great effort.
“What…”
“Now listen…” Tiffany made her voice firm. One she knew people had a hard time not to obey. “I know you said you don’t like strangers, but we’re stranded here together and there’s nothing we can do.” She took a breath. “Take off your clothes.”
Jessica’s eyes widened with shock. A flash of something on her face. Then she seemed to gain control of her emotions again.
“No.” Came the short reply.
Tiffany put her hands on her hips, towering over Jessica and using her eyes the best she could to give a firm stare.
“Oh, yes.” Tiffany took a hold of Jessica’s jacket, trying to pull it off.
Jessica fought against the pull.
“Don’t be stupid… or stubborn. Do you want to dehydrate and faint?” Tiffany asked.
No answer.
“I’m only doing this to help you.”
Again there was no answer. Tiffany took that as an agreement from Jessica. Tiffany gently pulled Jessica’s arms out of the sleeves, folding the jacket and placing in behind her back as support. Overall Jessica’s clothes were very elegant. A big contrast to Tiffany’s very normal almost boring short sleeved white shirt. Under the jacket Jessica had a long sleeved, beige shirt with a v-neck. It must be really warm. Quickly, she pulled off the shirt, feeling Jessica’s clammy skin.
Suddenly, she remembered Jessica’s nameplate. She tried to steal a glance at it, when Jessica snatched the shirt away, holding it to her chest in visible embarrassment. Well it wasn’t that important Tiffany agreed with herself concentrating again on the task at hand.
“Now, the pants.”
Only getting a dark look from Jessica, she motioned for the pants again.
“If you have anything to say then say it,” Tiffany continued.
Jessica gave her a weak glance, her blonde hair sticking to her forehead, her face flushed. She must be really warm. No way getting around it. Tiffany steadied her nerves and motioned for the pants one last time.
Jessica started opening the button herself, pulling them down halfway. Meanwhile, Tiffany removed her shoes and socks before pulling her pants off. Jessica sat with her head turned. A weird look on her face. So far so good, Tiffany thought, while trying not to look too obviously at the other girl.
Tiffany retrieved her water bottle, holding it out to Jessica after pouring a bit of water on a handkerchief.
“Drink this.” Tiffany handed Jessica the water bottle.
Finally, Jessica turned her head, looking at the half-filled bottle and giving a weak shake of her head.
“You should drink it. It’s your water,” Jessica said.
“I already drank half,” Tiffany answered.
Giving in, Jessica drank greedily. Carefully, Tiffany wiped Jessica’s face with the wet handkerchief. Then she found a folder in her suitcase and started fanning Jessica.
“It was stupid of me to skip breakfast.” Jessica’s voice was weak, but still clear.
“You didn’t have breakfast? Not even something to drink?”
A shake of the blonde head.
“Hmm, that’s not good. You have to eat and drink in the morning. You should take better care of yourself,” Tiffany said with concern.
Jessica gave her a weak smile.
Tiffany continued to fan her with the folder. Eventually, Jessica dozed off a little, giving Tiffany a chance to get a closer look at her. She looked to be about the same age as Tiffany. Her body was slender and trained. The other girl was attractive. Very attractive. She felt her cheeks heat up, looking away quickly. What was wrong with her? Jessica was a girl. A very beautiful… Tiffany stopped herself and tried to concentrate only on fanning.
Her arm muscles were hurting, but she continued. With a small cute sound Jessica stirred. Tiffany lowered the folder and walked over to her spot at the opposite wall. After all, Jessica had said she wasn’t comfortable around strangers and she didn’t want the other girl to feel too uncomfortable. Brown eyes lifted and met hers for a long, searching moment, then dropped to the folder in Tiffany’s hands.
“Am I going to be the only one embarrassing myself?” Jessica asked with a serious voice.
“Huh?”
Jessica gave her a knowing glance, letting her eyes roam down Tiffany’s body.
“I… don’t feel so hot.”Tiffany said feeling quite flustered.
A quick smile chased itself on and off Jessica’s face.
“Oh…” One brow edged up. “Is that so?” Jessica’s voice held a hint of playfulness.
Tiffany was increasingly feeling hot. Actually, it felt like her body and especially her face was on fire.
“Yeah…” Why was it so hot? She had managed just fine a moment ago although it had still been almost unbearable hot.
“Should I repeat your own words from before or…,” Jessica’s lips twisted, holding back a grin, “should I undress you myself? Your choice.”
Tiffany felt a nervous flutter hit her stomach. She bit down on her lip, feeling Jessica’s eyes on her.
Without saying anything Tiffany began to undress. Why was she feeling so embarrassed and self conscious? Jessica was just another girl so it didn’t really mean anything. However, it didn’t help telling herself that. Her hands was shaking while fingering the buttons on her shirt, trying to undress quickly, but failing miserably. A glance at Jessica. Her brown eyes regarded her in mild, unveiled amusement.
She wouldn’t let the other girl unnerve her like that. Taking a deep breath, she stood and turned her back to Jessica, imagining that Jessica wasn’t there. Quickly, her shirt was off and she pulled down her pants, determined to get it over with and sit down before the other girl saw too much. She had almost succeeded when her foot got caught in the pants leg. Jumping on the spot she tried to pull it off, but lost her balance.
Strong fingers closed around her waist, steadying her. The touch sent prickles up and down her spine.
“You better sit down.” A hint of a mischievous look danced across Jessica’s face.
Tiffany sat down with slightly shaking legs, happy to do as she was told. Jessica bent forward and pulled the pants off.
“There. Now, I feel a lot better,” Jessica said.
Tiffany gave her a shocked look.
Jessica laughed a little and continued, “Not being the only one in just underwear.”
She was all too aware that she was blushing. Again. However at the same time Tiffany found herself enjoying the sound of Jessica’s voice, which was clear and vibrant and had a faint musical lilt to it. It was nice to not be alone even though it was a bit embarrassing.
After regaining her composure a bit Tiffany eyed Jessica’s profile and the stubborn strength she saw in the firm chin and the direct eyes. Jessica looked to be feeling somewhat better now.
“It seems it doesn’t apply to you.” Jessica’s voice startled Tiffany out of her thoughts.
“What?”
“The being uncomfortable with being close with strangers.”
“Oh…”
“So just relax.” Jessica gave her a small smile.
After a while Jessica continued, “Except maybe for the normal embarrassment of being alone in an elevator almost naked with someone I’ve just met.”
Tiffany stared into Jessica’s eyes. Her expression didn’t change. Then Tiffany couldn’t hold back her laughter. The whole situation was just too absurd. She laughed long and hard, holding her stomach. The other girl’s laughter blended into hers.
It was a relief to just laugh. When she met Jessica’s eyes again a smile has stayed on her beautiful lips, making her look almost like a whole new person. The smile lit her eyes from within and made it seem almost like they were dancing with amusement.
“When I went to work this morning I would have never imagined something like this,” Tiffany said with a bright smile of her own.
Then reality came back to her. She sighed.
“I hope I won’t be fired for being really late on my first day. I had a very important meeting with my new boss,” Tiffany couldn’t keep the despair out of her voice. A small part of her wondered why she was opening up to the girl in front of her who was a stranger. She just felt so comfortable being around Jessica right now.
“Don’t worry. The boss in the media center is not as bad as people say…” Jessica kept her voice light.
“Oh, what is she like? I’m curious since I haven’t met her yet.”
Jessica seemed to struggle for a moment, “Err, well she’s alright. As I said not that bad, if you get to know her.”
“Well that sounds nice. I have heard a lot of things about how she can be very strict and cold towards her workers, but I look forward to getting to know her. A leader has to be strict sometimes and as you say you probably just have to get to know her.”
Jessica stared into the air with a thoughtful expression. A lock of blonde hair in front of her eye. Automatically, Tiffany reached out and tucked it back behind her ear. Realizing, what she was doing Tiffany froze, her hand next to Jessica’s chin. Jessica met her eyes and didn’t move away. Suddenly, Tiffany felt like she had a thousand butterflies fluttering around crazily in her stomach and it didn’t go away again. The warmth from Jessica’s body and the feel of her smooth skin. Tiffany couldn’t concentrate on anything else.
A crackling sound from the elevator’s speakers almost made her jump.
“We’ve almost fixed the problem so hang in there.”
“I’ll hang him…” Jessica muttered under her breath. “Half a day is far too long. I’ll shove their maintenance license up where the sun…”
Tiffany rested a hand on Jessica’s shoulder until she felt her tension slowly disappear again.
“Come on, let’s get dressed.”
Quickly, they got dressed and gathered their things. Jessica stood up and started swaying.
The elevator began to move. Tiffany gave Jessica a worried look while steadying her.
“It’s just a headache,” Jessica explained.
It didn’t look just like a headache. Jessica’s expression was grim and she was holding a hand to her temple.
“I think you have to go home and lie down. You’re sick and shouldn’t go to work. Come on I’ll take you home.”
“What about your first day at work…?”
“Well if the company can’t understand the importance of helping a colleague, then I don’t want to work here,” Tiffany said with clear determination.
Jessica was silent for a while, then reached into her bag, handing Tiffany her keys.
“We’ll take my car.”
Jessica’s apartment was just downtown and the complex had its own parking in the basement. They both looked with doubt at the elevator. They felt absolutely no need to relive the experience from earlier that day. However it was clear that Jessica couldn’t take the stairs up to the top floor. Tiffany supported Jessica and held her breathe as the elevator went up.
There was only one apartment door. Tiffany found the key and opened it. As Jessica took off her shoes and put down her bag Tiffany looked around, taking in the huge apartment with wondering eyes. A brilliant view of the city was clear to her from big floor to ceiling windows. With hesitant steps she followed after Jessica. The living room consisted of black, elegant couches, a big screen television and an enormous, colorful painting on the only real wall in the room. It was a clearly a very expensive apartment and it made her wonder just what kind of job Jessica had at the SBS…
Her attention quickly went back to Jessica as she noticed the other girl wobble across the floor towards a door made of glass. Tiffany went back to supporting Jessica, following her into the room which was her bedroom. It consisted only of a big very soft looking bed with white linen. The last light over the rooftops spilled into the room. Tiffany went to draw the heavy dark curtains, while Jessica sank down on her bed with a happy sigh. Darkness fell on the room and Jessica’s slender form.
“Err do you… need help?” Tiffany felt awfully embarrassed, but hoped Jessica couldn’t hear it in her voice. After all being in an elevator and in the bedroom of someone she had just met was two totally different things and she felt a lot more insecure about what she should do.
“No thank you, I’ll manage,” Jessica said and started changing into her sleepwear.
Tiffany exhaled the air she hadn’t noticed she was holding. She kept her back turned until she heard the bed shift.
“You should drink something,” Tiffany said and hurried into the kitchen.
The kitchen was as big as her apartment and she had to look through a couple of the many cabinets before finding a glass. She hurried back to Jessica who was sitting up in the bed waiting. Jessica drank the water and lay down. The view of Jessica’s disheveled hair and pained expression as she buried her head in her big, fluffy pillow made Tiffany’s heart ache. A lot of arguments like she didn’t really know Jessica filtered through her head, but still she couldn’t stop herself from reaching out. She ran her fingers through Jessica’s soft hair again and again until her expression became more relaxed. Finally, the soft sleeping sound filled the room and Tiffany had to almost force her hand away.
With a hand that still tingled from the sensation of Jessica’s hair she went into the living room and softly closed the door. What should she do now? She should go, but she really couldn’t leave Jessica alone in the state she was in.
Coming to a decision, she went to take a small look at the rest of the penthouse apartment. The bathroom and other rooms were just as expensive looking as the rest. She had to find out whatever job Jessica had. She definitely had to aim for that kind of job. She laughed to herself. Like that was gonna happen.
She took a look in the fridge. There was nothing except one carton of milk that had gone sour. Instead she made herself comfortable on the couch and turned on the television. She might as well make it a comfortable wait.
She found a channel that had the cartoon Spongebob on.
“Uhh, I love Spongebob.”
A sound made Tiffany wake up. She opened her eyes and met surprised brown ones.
“Uh… um.” She wanted to explain, but her mind wasn’t fully awake yet. “I thought I shouldn’t leave you alone…”
The sun flowing through the big windows was hurting her eyes. She must have looked funny because Jessica suddenly hid a laugh behind her hand. Jessica was still only in her oversized t-shirt she had used as sleepwear. Tiffany sat up and rubbed her eyes. Surprised to see it was morning. She had fallen asleep on the couch and they had both slept through the remaining day and the whole night.
“We might as well go to work together,” Jessica finally said.
Tiffany’s stomach growled loudly. Her cheeks flushed as Jessica laughed heartily.
“I’ll buy us some food on the way. For the life of me I can’t cook and there’s nothing edible in the kitchen.”
“I noticed yesterday,” Tiffany joked with a playful smile.
Jessica’s eyes twinkled as she went into to the bedroom to get dressed.
“Thank you for lending me some clothes,” Tiffany said and smiled at Jessica, who was walking beside her. She had been surprised to find out that they were almost the same size and height.
“It was the least I could do after you drove me home yesterday.” Jessica paused. “I’m glad you insisted on taking me home. I would have probably gone to work and would have passed out at my desk.”
Jessica’s appreciation made Tiffany’s heart beat faster and she didn’t know what to say other than give the other girl a smile.
They continued up the stairs in silence.
“It’s here.” Jessica opened the door to the floor of the media center group.
“You work here also?” Tiffany couldn’t hide her surprise.
“Didn’t I tell you yesterday?”
Tiffany shook her head, her short brown hair dancing around her face.
With a grin Jessica pointed at a counter.
“That’s the secretary. Go tell her you’re here and make a new appointment to see your boss today.”
With a small wave Jessica disappeared down the hallway before Tiffany could say anything. She had gotten so used to being around Jessica and now she felt lost and alone. Like a part of her was missing.
For the tenth time she straightened her hands over the smooth fabric of Jessica’s silk shirt. The smell of Jessica’s perfume stuck to the fabric. It was a nice smell and she inhaled it for the hundreds time getting lost in thoughts of Jessica.
When she felt a goofy smile on her face she mentally slapped herself. She had to be concentrated when she was meeting her boss for the first time. One last deep breath and she knocked on the door. A soft female voice sounded from the other side. She opened the door and stepped inside.
The sight shocked her. Her legs stuck to the floor like glue and wouldn’t move further into the room. Jessica sat behind the almost gigantic desk in the big room. Her delicate hands tucked under her chin, a grin playing on her face.
“Hello Tiffany.” Jessica’s voice was soft as silk.
“…um… uh… hi.” She was at a total loss. Jessica was her boss!? She couldn’t believe it.
Jessica’s smile grew bigger. It seemed she was enjoying herself. A small anger ignited. Why hadn’t she just told her that she was her boss? Gosh, she had made such a fool of herself.
“You could have told me!”
“Why? I liked that you were comfortable around me and that would have changed if you had known I was your boss.”
“No, it wouldn’t,” Tiffany said with conviction.
One of Jessica’s eyebrows edged upwards. Then she slowly stood and walked around her desk with a small sway in her hips. Tiffany swallowed. Her heart thundering almost beating its way out off her chest.
“So it doesn’t make a difference if I’m your boss?”Jessica asked while closing the space, leaving only inches of air between them.
Jessica’s hot breathe tingled Tiffany’s skin. Their eyes meeting for a long moment.
“No,” Tiffany said breathlessly.
“How do you feel about dating your boss?”
She knew it was only incoherent, gibberish that was leaving her mouth. The sound of her own heart beating at her eardrums. Far away she could hear words like company regulations and rules about dating colleagues not being allowed leave her mouth, until suddenly Jessica closed the space between them.
The kiss was both demanding and gentle. All other thoughts washed out of her head. This was what she had wanted. Her hands crept up and got a hold of Jessica, not letting go again.
Finally, they broke apart, breathless. She could see her own silly, happy smile reflected on Jessica’s face. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing dating her boss. If they could keep it a secret.
*****************
“Are you happy with your life?” A friend asked Jessica out of nowhere earlier that day.
That was 10 hours ago, but the question lingered inside her, demanding an answer. Answer she doesn’t have right now.
The tires of her sport car screeched on the wet pavement as the car pull over in front of a coffee shop. She stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut. There’s a series of clacking sound as her heels stomps the pavement leading to the front door of the coffee shop.
“Welcome, what can I get you beautiful?” The tanned barista greet her from behind the counter.
“Lay off the sweet talk Yul, it won’t work on me. Just get me the usual okay?”
“Hey can’t blame me for trying.” Yuri grinned while preparing the order. Caramel latte, it’s always caramel latte for her.
Yuri stole a glance toward Jessica and smiled. All jokes aside, Jessica really is drop dead gorgeous and exudes a certain elegant yet sexy aura which attracts her ever since they first met. Unfortunately, just like many men and women before her, Yuri has failed to break down the invisible walls surrounding Jessica. But Yuri is content at being her friend.
Jessica looking around the coffee shop as she waits for her latte. It was pretty late at night, so there aren’t many costumers at the moment, just a young couple on one table and a young woman wearing a pink sweater on the table by the window. There’s only a cup of coffee on her table. What a lonely little cup. Not unlike her.
“Here you go, one caramel latte to go.” Yuri put Jessica’s order on the table.
“Thanks Yul.”
Jessica pays for the coffee and stepped out of the coffee shop. Suddenly a sweet angelic voice stopped her on the curb.
“Excuse me, miss.”
Jessica turned around only to find the girl with the pink sweater standing nervously in front of her. Jessica notices that the girl is also carrying a pink backpack.
What’s up with this girl and the color pink anyway?
“Yes?”
“You dropped this.”
The girl extends her arm. There’s an expensive looking handkerchief between her fingers, Jessica’s handkerchief.
She must have dropped it when she took out the money to pay for the coffee.
“Thank you.”
Jessica reached for the handkerchief and held her breath as she felt the sweater girl’s soft and warm fingers grazing against her own.
Yuri comes out of the shop.
“Miss, you forgot to pay for the coffee.” Yuri said toward the sweater girl.
“What…? Oh, I’m sorry… I don’t have any money.” The poor girl was stuttering and lower her head, clearly embarrassed by the whole situation.
“Eeeeehh?! ” Yuri was genuinely surprised.
The sweater girl now bowing toward Yuri.
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. How about if I pay for the coffee with one of my shirts instead.” Said the girl. She quickly pulled the zipper of her backpack and pulled out some fabric, but instead of a shirt, the girl was holding a lingerie.
“Eeeekk!”
She squealed in embarrassment while Yuri who were staring at her suddenly made a whistle sound.
“Sexy.” She said as she extends her arm trying to reach for the lingerie.
Jessica quickly slapped Yuri’s hand away and delivered an icy glare toward the tanned girl.
“Pervert.” She hissed.
“Aye aye.” Shameless Yuri just flashed her flirty smile in response.
“I’ll pay for the coffee. “
Jessica shoved some money into Yuri’s hand expecting she would leave afterward, instead, Yuri just stood there and threw a seductive smile toward the sweater girl.
“Miss, would you care…”
“KWON YURI! Get your ass back in there and do your job! I won’t let you prey on this girl.” Wow, that came out louder and harsher then Jessica intended.
“Why? Are you calling first dibs on her?”
“YU-RI…!” Jessica was way over her boiling point.
“Alright, alright. You know, if you loved screaming out my name so much, I can think of a better time and place for you to do that, what say you honey thighs?”
Yuri quickly ran inside the shop before Jessica had a chance to smack her.
“Geez, that horny chick.” Jessica mumbled.
Suddenly she hears a giggling sound from her side. Glancing sideways, Jessica sees the sweater girl covering her mouth, attempting to contained her laughter but failed to do so.
“Mwahahahaha!” She laughed like there’s no tomorrow.
“Oh for the love of…” Jessica rubs her temple.
Ignoring the laughing hyena, Jessica hurriedly walked around the car toward the driver’s side, opened the door and slid behind the wheel. She turned the ignition and was about to drive away when she saw the sweater girl’s sudden gloomy expression. She exhaled heavily.
“Oh, I’m so gonna regret this.” She mumbled as she slide the window down.
“What are you doing?” She asked the girl with the lost puppy expression.
“Nothing.”
“Go home, it’s getting late.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t? Are you running away from home?”
No answer, but the sweater girl starts fidgeting.
“Got any place to stay for the night?”
“No.”
Jessica sighed, then opened the passenger door.
“Get in.”
“Why?”
“You can stay at my place for tonight.”
The girl averted her gaze with an unsure expression.
“What? Do I looks like a serial killer or something?” Jessica’s patience was wearing thin.
“No.”
“What then?”
“Are you a rapist?” The girl asks with a blank expression.
“What the…?!”
Jessica was about to slam the passenger door shut when the sweater girl slides in and closed the car door.
“Just kidding.” The girl smiled and showing her eye smile.
“Too cute, too cute.” Jessica thought to herself as her cheeks grew warm. “Omo, what am I saying? I don’t even know this girl… Exactly, I don’t even know her, so why am I doing this?”
“What’s wrong?”
“What?”
“You were spacing out? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Okay… What’s your name?”
“Jessica.”
“Jessica… Jessica… Jess, Jessi, Sica, Sica baby,” The girl mumbling incoherently.
“What are you doing?”
“Figuring out how I should call you.” Said the girl.
“You will call me miss Jung or Jessica. If you call me by any other name, I’ll kick you out of the car.” Said Jessica in a cold tone.
“Fine. My name is Hwang MiYoung, but my friends call me Tiffany.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“Ouch.”
They spend the rest of the ride in silence.
********
“THIS is your place?! Holy macaroni!” The sweater girl is in awe as she looks around Jessica’s lavish house.
“Yeah.”
“Wow, you’re rich. Are you a drug dealer? Or maybe a money launderer or something?”
“Why do you keep accusing me of being a criminal?! Do I look like a criminal to you?” Jessica said, exasperated. This girl is too weird.
“Well, you do look like a mafia, what’s with the black skirt, black blouse, black car and all that.”
“Well excuse me for liking dark colors.”
“That’s okay. I like pink.”
“I didn’t ask.”
“Ouch.”
Silence fell upon them.
“Hmm, Jessica.”
“Now what? You want to see my gun collection?”
“I’m hungry. ”
Jessica’s temper suddenly cooled off when she saw the sweater girl staring down the floor while nervously toying with the edge of her sweater. A sweet smile gradually appeared on Jessica’s face.
“Follow me.”
Jessica made her way toward the kitchen with Tiffany trailing right behind.
“Just sit on the table, I’ll cook something for you.”
Tiffany sat on the kitchen table while Jessica took out cooking ingredients from the fridge.
“So… do you live alone?” Tiffany is starting to feel uncomfortable.
At first, she was awed by the mansion with its invaluable art works and decoration, but after a while, the crushing silence surrounding the mansion made her restless.
“Sort of.”
“Where’s your family.”
“They are gone.”
“Oh. Where?”
Jessica who were chopping some vegetables at the moment stop her movement.
“I killed them and buried their bodies in the backyard,”
The kitchen grew silent.
Jessica turned around and laughing out loud when she saw Tiffany’s right eye and cheek were twitching, she was flabbergasted.
“I’m kidding! Oh God, you should see the look on your face right now,” It’s been a long time since she laughed that hard.
Tiffany frowned.
“Anyway, answering your question. My mom and dad got divorced two years ago. She took my sister and moved to San Francisco. Now there’s just me and my dad here, but he’s always so busy running the family’s company, he rarely home. ”
“Oh, it must have been pretty lonely...”
“Not really. I’m okay with being alone most of the time. In fact I kind of like it.” Jessica cut-off Tiffany mid-sentence. She doesn’t like where the conservation was heading.
The food is finally ready, so she put them on a plate and placed it on the table in front of Tiffany.
“What is this?” Tiffany is staring at the strange pile of who-knows-what on the plate.
“Cheese and mushroom risotto… I know it doesn’t looks much, but trust me it’s good.” Said Jessica confidently.
“Mu… mush… mushroom?” Tiffany was stuttering.
“Yeah. why? Don’t like mushroom? Fine, you don’t have to eat it. Just make yourself a sandwich or something.” Jessica was about to grab the plate when Tiffany stopped her.
“I’ll eat it. I’ll eat it. It’s just that my friends used to called me ‘mushroom’. So somehow for me… eating mushroom is kind of weird. ”
“What kind of twisted logic is that? Just eat the damn risotto.” Jessica now glaring at Tiffany.
With a slight hesitation, Tiffany scooped the oddly looking risotto with a spoon and put them in their mouth, her eyes grew round.
“Well?” Asked Jessica.
“It’s delicious.” Tiffany flashing her eye smile.
“I told you so. Now eat up.” Jessica smiled and pats Tiffany’s head.
Tiffany scooped another spoonful of risotto.
“You know, this is like one of those stories you’d find in a romance novel. A tall, dark and handsome rich man saving a poor damsel in distress, then they end up falling in love with each other. ”
“First of all, I’m not tall, dark nor handsome…”
“No, you’re, short, feisty and…gorgeous.”
What the…? Did she just hitting on me?
“Second, instead of a romance story, this felt more like one of those family movies where a stupid eight years old kid brought home a stray dog and feed it.”
“Stra…stray dog?” Tiffany’s lips were quivering as if she’s about to cry. “I’m not a stray dog.” Tiffany protested.
“No. It’s pretty close though.” Jessica scoffed.
“Ouch.”
“ So what were you doing running around the streets with no money nor a place to stay?”
“I… I was waiting.”
“For who?”
“Not who, what. I’m applying for a full scholarship at Korea National University of Arts here in Seoul. I’m not the only candidate for the grant, so the university scheduled an audition tomorrow.”
“Audition? You’re an actress?”
“Nope. Pianist.”
“You’re planning to become a professional musician?”
“Yup, that’s my dream.”
Jessica grew some respect toward Tiffany. Pursuing a dream isn’t easy. The journey requires courage, determination and a whole lot of work. Perhaps this girl isn’t as clueless and haphazard as Jessica thought she was.
“Where are you from anyway?”
“Busan.”
“Oh? You’re a long way from home. Did you ran out of money on the way?”
“Not really. I was on my way to find a cheap motel to sleep for the night when I found this store which sold autographed Dennis Oh pictorial. It’s kind of pricey but I bought it anyway.“
“And you spend all your money on it?”
“Yeah. Oh, you should see the pictorial, it’s awesome. I love Dennis Oh, he’s so hot and there’s this one photo where he’s practically half naked…” She reached for her backpack and starts rummaging through it.
Jessica changed her mind, Tiffany really is clueless and haphazard. She reached out and flicked Tiffany’s forehead.
“Aww, it hurts.”
“And you’re an idiot. Hurry up and finished your meal.”
“Fine.” Tiffany pouted.
*********
The two girls made their way toward the guest room when something in the family room stole Tiffany’s attention.
“Oh. My. God! What a beautiful piano.” She hurriedly walked toward the baby grand piano and ran her fingers on the piano keys. “You didn’t tell me that you play piano too.”
“I don’t. It belong to my mother. She’s a music enthusiast, especially classical music. She used to plays the piano for me and my sister when we were kids or plays one of his record and we’ll dance along the music until we’re tired.”
Jessica’s eyes turned bleary as she reminiscing the days when the house was filled with music and laughter. She used to thinks that those days would never end, that her family will stay together happily ever after, just like the people from those storybooks that her mom and dad used to read for her and her sister. Of course back then she’s just a naïve kid who didn’t know that life have the knack of throwing lemon toward unsuspecting people. Now she knows better.
“Hey, want me to play something? I’m really good you know.” Said Tiffany smugly.
“Yeah sure. How about Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No.3?”
Jessica chuckled when she saw Tiffany’s face went pale. The piece colloquially known as Rach 3, is one of the most difficult piece to play; technically demanding and feared by almost every pianist in the world. Jessica knew that, she just wants to tease her new friend.
“Well?” Ask Jessica when Tiffany grew silent.
“I… I can’t play it. Yet.” Said Tiffany with a defeated expression on her face
Jessica felt a bit sorry after seeing her like this. She admires Tiffany’s child-like qualities. Tiffany is so easygoing, honest; shows her feelings through her facial expression and wore them like a badge, with pride; Unlike Jessica who bottled up everything and masked her true self behind her icy persona.
“That’s okay, I’m way past my usual bedtime anyway. You can practice for your audition here if you like. Your room is down the hall, on the right. My room is right across yours.”
Jessica was walking toward her room when Tiffany call out her name. She turn around, guessing that Tiffany want to thanked her for everything; a typical response when someone helps you out.
“I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done and really don’t know how to repay your kindness, …”
Jessica gave Tiffany a soft reassuring smile.
“…so if you want to take advantage of me, I’m willing to comply.” Tiffany stare at Jessica with a blank expression.
Jessica’s smile slowly fading.
“Get out.”
“What?”
“I said GET OUT of my house NOW, N.O.W!” Jessica’s face was as red as tomatoes.
“Wait, I was kidding! Can’t you take a joke? Geez.” Tiffany puffed her cheeks cutely.
“Seriously this girl.” Jessica rubs her temples for the second time tonight.
**********
Jessica tucked in comfortably under her blanket. She glanced at her cellphone’s screen, it was 2 AM. She doesn’t have any kind of alarm clock or watch in her room because if there’s one thing she hates more than a smelly cucumber, is when something or someone interrupts her sleep.
She was drifting between reality and dream land, when a series of beautiful melodies tickles her hear.
Hmm this piece… Schubert’s Piano Sonata No.16 in A minor. What a beautiful play. The notes are so prismatic, the fortissimo is full of expression. Who’s there? Who’s playing the piano with such grace and elegance. It can’t be that klutz, Tiffany, right? No way.
It felt nice and warm.
Jessica fell asleep with a smile on her face.
*************
“Good morning.”
Someone shook Jessica, trying to wake her up.
“Morrnniing.”
The same pair of hands shook her body harder.
“Stop bugging me!” Jessica swat away the hands and turned sideways, facing away those annoying hands.
The room grew silent.
“Ahh peace, finally” Jessica thought as she tries to fall back asleep.
After awhile, her drowsiness subside. Reluctantly she opens her eyes only to met by a pair of crystal clear gems staring back. Tiffany was resting her body on the other side of the bed, directly facing Jessica. Her eyes were twinkling and there’s a soft smile on her face.
“What are you doing?” Jessica asked in a cold tone.
“Watching you asleep.” There goes the eye smile again.
“Creeper.”
“Drooler.”
“I don’t drool.”
“Sure you do. See?” Tiffany points to the side of Jessica’s mouth.
“Shut up. What do you want?” Jessica wiped the trace amount of drool with the back of her hand.
“Cheese and mushroom risotto.”
“You woke me up because you want me to cook for you?” Jessica hissed.
“Yeah, I guess.”
Jessica really wants to smacked the blank and innocent expression off Tiffany’s face.
“You want to die?”
Tiffany blinked, placed her hands on her cheeks and spazzing with a stupid grin on her face.
“Dawww, the warm and kindhearted princess puts on her cold act. So cute.” She squealed in delight.
What the hell is wrong with this girl?
Jessica rolls her eyes and turned her body around, facing away Tiffany.
Suddenly a warm and soft body slid and pressed itself against Jessica’s back followed by an arm sliding around her waist. Tiffany’s face nuzzled into the side of Jessica’s neck.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to put on the charade anymore. I’ve seen the real you. You don’t fool nor scare me with those fake icy and uncaring attitudes. In fact I find them quite adorable.” Tiffany whispered on Jessica’s ear.
Silence fell upon them.
“Let go of me.”
“What?”
“I said, let go of me, you pervert.”
“Yah, I’m not a pervert! And why should I let you go?”
“How am I supposed to cook with you holding on to me like this?”
“Oh right… make it extra cheesy okay honey?” Tiffany gave a light kiss on Jessica’s neck and let her go.
Jessica got off the bed and made her way out of the room.
“Pervert.” She scoffed before closing the door behind her.
There’s a smile on her face as she touches the part of her neck Tiffany had kissed earlier.
**********
Jessica’s car made its way toward Korea National University of Arts. The two passengers haven’t uttered a single word since they left Jessica’s house.
“Are you ready?”
Jessica finally broke the silence as the car comes to screeching halt. They’ve reached their destination.
“No.”
“Don’t be nervous. I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”
“Stay with me please. At least until the audition is over.”
“I can’t. I got class in half an hour.”
“Just skip it.”
“I can’t,”
Jessica noticed that Tiffany was restless, she was shivering.
“Come here.” Jessica opens her arms and signaling Tiffany to hug her, the latter comply.
“You’ll be fine. I’ve heard you play. They would have to be quite the fools to turn you down.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so.”
Jessica softly strokes Tiffany’s hair. When the shivering has finally subside, they broke off their hug.
“I’ll call you after I get the result. It’ll probably takes weeks though.”
“I’ll wait.”
“Thank you.”
Tiffany leaned toward Jessica and planted a tender kiss on her lips. It’s only for a second but enough to make Jessica froze in place.
“Goodbye.”
************
Jessica is sitting on the kitchen table, alone.
She stare at the seat where Tiffany sat just the other night, and she smiled. Unconsciously, Jessica replays Tiffany’s every move, sound and smiles, in her head.
She’s probably on her way back to Busan by now. I should have asked her to stay and wait for the result here instead.
Her daydreaming abruptly comes to an end, thanks to the ringing sound coming out of her cellphone.
“Hello.” She said with a disinterested tone.
“I missed my train.” Said the voice on the other side of the line.
Jessica’s heart flutters.
“Oh really?” Her answer really didn’t do any justice to the excitement she felt inside.
“Sort of. I intentionally missed it.”
“Now why did you do that?”
“ Well, the food here is so much better than I’ve expected, so I want to stick around and eat more delicious food, ”
Jessica chuckled.
“Say, do you know a place where I can crash for a few weeks?” Tiffany asked.
“Oh I think I know a place or two.”
***********
[Four years later]
The auditorium is almost at its full capacity, filled with people from various backgrounds but with one thing in common; their love of music.
Jessica sat in one of the best seat in the auditorium, flipping through the programme until she found what she was looking for. A small smile crept to her face as her finger touches one of the photo on the booklet.
The crowd clapped when the musicians finally took over the stage. It’s a full orchestra, but Jessica’s eyes were fixed on one particular person on the stage, standing in front of the piano. It was a girl wearing a simple yet elegant black formal dress, it fits her completely and emphasizes her beauty; not that she needs any help in that department though, because the girl is drop dead gorgeous. She and the conductor bowed toward the audiences and take their respective positions on stage.
The auditorium grew silent when the conductor knocks the steel score stand with his baton, and the next movement of his baton marks the beginning of tonight’s musical journey.
The beautiful girl in the black dress starts stroking the piano keys with such gentleness and grace. The notes coming out of the piano immediately draws the audience.
Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No.2 in C minor, Op. 18. The opening movement alone is enough to send chills down everyone’s spine, and as the tension builds up, the audiences fell deeper under the spell of the music. Then comes the piano solo leading to a descending chromatic passage, marks the last minutes of the first movement.
In the middle of the second movement, the music accelerates to a short climax centered on the piano. At this point, the audiences was at the edge of their seats, hanging by a thread. The third and last movement opens up with a short orchestral introduction, and as it flows in continuation, the audiences was lost in the music, until a fast coda draws the piece to a close. The music stop, and the auditorium grew silent, only to be blasted by cheers and ovations from the audiences.
Ignoring the tears that were rolling on her lovely cheeks, Jessica give a standing ovation and clapping as hard as she could, and when the pianist stood up and bowed toward the audiences, Jessica whispered softly.
“Well done Tiffany, well done.”
************
It was pretty late in the evening and winter is just around the corner, which is probably why the street was practically empty. Who would want to freeze their ass out in this miserable cold weather, when they can hide behind the comfort of their homes?
Surprisingly, there are two figures walking down the street of Seoul, ignoring the chilling air. Perhaps it was the locking arms, the proximity or the smiles they threw at each other, that makes them immune from the cold. One thing for sure, they provide each other comfort in a way few people ever experienced.
“So, how’s the concert?”
“It was great, everyone is great, especially the pianist. She was so phenomenal, no wonder the critics crowned her as the new rising star of the classical music world. ”
“Oh really? But is she pretty?”
“Pretty, beautiful, divine, gorgeous, you named it.”
“Awww, you think I’m gorgeous, you want to date me, love me and smooch me…” Tiffany start singing, teasing Jessica.
“Shut up, or I’ll take back everything I’ve said about you.” Jessica Scoffed.
Tiffany stopped in her tracks. Jessica who was locking arms with Tiffany has no choice but to stop also.
“What? I’m just kidding.” Jessica released her arm and put her hands on each of Tiffany’s puffed cheek.
“I know.” Tiffany flashing her gorgeous eye smile. “Jessi, look, it’s the first snow.”
Tiffany open up her palms as tiny snowflakes falling from the dark sky above.
“The fourth year in a row we watched the first snow together.” Said Jessica with a smile on her face.
Tiffany grabs both ends of Jessica’s red scarf, and pulled them closer until Jessica’s face mere few inches from her own.
“Happy fourth anniversary honey.”
Tiffany tenderly pressed her lips against Jessica’s.
Are you happy with your life?
I am now.
******************
Jessica could feel her own sweat trickle down her right cheek, using the back of her hand, she wiped it and grunted in irritation. The heat of the midday sun has been getting into her and it was not helping her at all. She squinted out of one eye in the bright sun and looked down at the abandoned amphitheater below her. Tall blades of grass occupied most of the area, the flag stone bleachers that people used to sit on were moldy and the stage was almost unrecognizable. She would never want to stay at a place like this but…
“Jessica, do you know why rings are used to symbolize love?”
Jessica’s eyebrow rose but she listened because of curiosity.
“You see, rings are shaped like circles, right? Circles don’t have ends--it means that love is eternal, never ending and-“
“Why are you telling me this?”
The girl smiled and took Jessica’s right hand to her lap, with the palm facing upward. “Close your eyes.”
Jessica obliged and she immediately felt a cold circular object on her hand.
“Like it?”
She opened her eyes and adjusted her focus to the thing on her palm. “What’s this?”
“It’s a ring.”
“I know, but-“
“It’s yours. I just gave it to you.”
Jessica knew that standing there and staring at blank space wouldn’t do her any good. She shook her head and wondered why life had to be ironic; she wanted to get rid of the ring by throwing it, but she resented it the moment the ring went flying up to the air. Her Biology teacher once told her that she had a slow reaction time. She didn’t believe it, of course, but now she wishes she did something about it.
She took one step forward and began her descent to the flight of stairs to reach the wide field of grass, each step she took made her cringe inside because at the back of her mind, she knows one day is not enough to find what she’s looking for.
------
“I hired someone to cook, clean the house and do the laundry for you.”
Her father was putting clothes to his suitcase and Tiffany Hwang couldn’t do anything but stand at the doorway and stare. She hates it when her father goes to business trips for weeks. She doesn’t like the idea of being alone in their house especially during summer.
“Your bank account has money in it and you can withdraw anytime and when you’re bored, just go shopping.”
Her eyes followed her father who was rushing back and forth from his closet and to the bed where his suitcase was laid open.
She doesn’t need the money. Shopping doesn’t make her happy.
Tiffany scrunched her eyebrows.
“Do you really have to go?” She knew it wasn’t the right kind of question to ask at this time. Her father will still go.
“Yes. I’m sorry but you know I’m doing this for you, right princess?” Her father pinched her nose and smiled as Tiffany pouted.
This happened a million times already. Her father leaves for a business trip. He returns after a few weeks. He stays home for a couple of days and leaves again. She should be used to it by now but she still feels anxious everytime she sees her dad pack his suitcase and leave.
“Tiffany, I have to go now.” He opened his arms and hugged her tight. She will miss him.
“Take care of yourself while I’m gone-“
“And don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything or if you miss me, I know.” Tiffany interrupts him.
He backed off a little bit, smiled, and kissed her forehead. “Bye, kiddo.”
It will be another lonely summer for Tiffany Hwang.
-------
“3:30 pm.” Read her watch.
Three hours and thirty minutes of searching but still, nothing.
It was hopeless to expect that she’ll find it. The possibility was too slim. Jessica wished she never entertained the idea of tossing it away because she knew she would regret it afterwards.
She growled and sprawled on the ground, looking up at the still brightly shining sun. She was sweating and she smelled like the pizza that she left under her bed for two weeks. She desperately wants to take a bath and sleep but she cannot give up yet.
“A breath of fresh air is all I need.”
Tiffany smiled at the view below her: a stage which looks like it hadn’t been used in ages, and there’s grass, grass and well, more grass. It was an abandoned amphitheater, but it was her sanctuary. She sat down at the top stair and she was contented with the sound of the wind blowing through the grass, the chirping birds and the peaceful vibe that the place gave her.
She loves the place…except for the insects. Thankfully, there’ aren’t many of those here.
“This is hopeless!”
Tiffany turned her neck and saw another girl lying on the ground, facing the sun.
She was surprised to see someone spend her time at a place like this. The usual people would not like the place; aside from sitting, there was really nothing to be done there, plus it may look very unpleasant to the eyes. She frowned at first; she did not like the idea of sharing her sanctuary with anyone but the wrinkles in her forehead disappeared once her lips formed a smile, it’s nice to have someone to talk to every once in a while.
“HEY!” Tiffany yelled.
The other girl shifted her gaze and lifted her hand to cover her eyes from the sun. Tiffany knew the girl was looking at her.
“What are you doing here?” Tiffany asked.
No answer. The girl stood up, spread her arms and walked at the center of the grass field which used to have chairs for audiences who watched plays.
“Why? Do you own this place?” the girl retorted.
Tiffany chuckled at the question and went down to sit on a slightly less moldy bleacher “What’s your name?”
“I said, do you own this place?” the girl repeated the question.
“No, but I don’t think you do either.” Tiffany fired back.
“Well…”
Tiffany shrugged. The girl took a few steps back and hoisted herself up to seat at the edge stage.
“I’m Tiffany.”
The girl raised her head and just stared blankly at Tiffany.
--------
“I’m Tiffany.” The girl with a pink blouse said.
Jessica was already annoyed. She could have spent her whole Monday reading a book and sleeping, but there she was, sitting on the stage of an abandoned amphitheater with apparently a girl named Tiffany who was staring at her like the girl found a new playmate. All she wanted right now was to find the ring, go home, forget this day and never entertain the idea of throwing the ring again.
She sat up and stared at the girl. She was smiling at her. Maybe this Tiffany girl was just being friendly, but she wasn’t interested in making new friends.
“It’s so hot today, isn’t it?” Tiffany was attempting to make a conversation.
She closed her eyes and hummed. Shouldn’t it be obvious that she was not in the mood to talk?
“So, how did you discover this place?” Tiffany asked another question.
She ignored the question without a second thought. Hmm, maybe if she played dead, Tiffany will leave her alone.
After all, everyone gets tired of waiting for nothing. She started to count from one to one hundred and eighty. Three minutes was enough for someone to get bored, well at least, that’s how it is for her.
One, two, three, four, five…
“You know, this place used to be an amphitheater.” Tiffany stated.
Duh. Like I didn’t notice the stage and the flag stone bleachers? Just keep counting, Jessica. Thirty three, thirty four, thirty five…
“Different plays were performed here.”
That’s the point. This was an amphitheater. Stupid blonde! Fifty, fifty one, fifty two…
“Right in front of you, chairs were placed there before and that field of grass used to be a cement floor. Then these stairs used to be clean and not moldy; it’s where everyone else sits to watch a performance.”
Obviously. Ninety nine, one hundred, one hundred one…
“I heard the owners dumped this place. It’s such a shame, actually.”
A blabbermouth, that’s what Tiffany is! One hundred forty six, one hundred forty seven, one hundred forty eight, one hundred forty nine…
Silence. Finally!
Jessica opened one eye and checked if Tiffany was still there but she instantly closed it the moment she saw the girl was looking at her with a smug grin.
“I saw that.” Tiffany taunted her.
Darn it! Just keep counting. She will leave. One hundred seventy, one hundred seventy one, one hundred seventy two…
“You know, it’s very obvious…” Tiffany left her sentence hanging.
One hundred seventy three, one hundred seventy four.
“If someone’s just pretending…”
One hundred seventy six, one hundred seventy seven…
“That she’s not listening.” The girl finished.
She scoffed mindlessly. One hundred seven-
The girl guffawed. “See? That’s what I’m talking about!”
It was only then that she realized that Tiffany caught her at her own game. She felt her own face blush. She opened her eyes and shot a glare at the girl.
“You were listening weren’t you?” Tiffany tilted her head and raised one eyebrow.
Jessica flared her nostrils and pressed her lips together. Her last string of patience and pride got burned by someone who doesn’t even know her. The word embarrassing was not enough to describe what she felt. She needed to leave.
“Pretenders are easy to get caught.” Tiffany impishly smiled.
Jessica gritted her teeth and stood up. From where she was, she saw the orange skyline and she knew that the sun was already setting. She wasted a lot of time just because of Tiffany. She jumped off the stage and ran towards the stairs opposite of Tiffany. If she couldn’t find it today, she could do it tomorrow without someone bothering her.
------
Tiffany was grinning from ear to ear. Her day took a hundred and eighty degree turn just because of that girl. Tiffany never saw her before around the neighborhood so she must be new. She chuckled and looked up the sky; she saw birds flying high up the sky and the setting sun. The day was coming to an end but she felt like something was just starting. She stood up and began walking away to go home. She decided to come back to this place tomorrow.
------
It was ten in the morning but Jessica was already sweaty and hungry. On a regular summer day, she should still be sleeping by now. Ten A.M was too early for her to function as a normal human being but she has no choice. She needed to find that ring; she could not sleep last night and she does not want to lose a wink of sleep again.
She was at the center of the field, kneeling every once in a while and moving blades of grass along her way to check the area.
“Oh, you’re here!”
Jessica froze on her spot and wearily spun on her heels to face the person that startled her. She was hoping that the voice belonged to another person but she knew that voice too well.
“Are you looking for something?” Tiffany was on the last stair with a smirk on her face.
Jessica bit on her bottom lip. “No! I’m not! She got surprised when she heard her voice in a higher pitch. She only sounded like that when she was not prepared to lie.
The girl nodded and took a few steps towards her. “So what were you doing then?”
“None of your business!”
“You know, you really look cute when you lie…especially when you get caught.” Tiffany was right in front of her, who was grinning with that impish smile.
Jessica could feel her blood boiling. Yesterday’s embarrassment was enough. “Why are you so nosy?!”
“None of your business.” The girl’s grin became wider and Jessica saw the girl’s features clearly: long blonde hair with bangs that almost reached her eyes.
Tiffany must have felt Jessica’s gaze and looked straight into her eyes with another smile.
The girl may have beautiful eyes and a breath taking smile, but she’s still a jerk.
“What’s your name?” Tiffany asked.
“Why would I tell you?”
Tiffany tilted her head back. “Hmm, because I told you mine.”
Jessica chose to stop speaking. She was contemplating. Jessica needed to use something as an advantage to this girl and this was it. It was her turn to smirk. “I will tell you my name if…”
“Oh, so you’re giving me conditions now? You sure are wise, aren’t you?”
“If you stop bugging me.” Jessica crossed her arms and stared directly at Tiffany’s eyes.
Tiffany shook her head. “No. Nuh-uh. I will stop bugging you, if we find what you are looking for.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that I am not looking for anything!”
“What were you doing then? Taking a stroll?” Tiffany was insistent.
“None of your business!” Jessica yelled.
Tiffany pouted. “Why won’t you tell me?”
“Because I can find it myself!” Jessica sputtered.
“Ha! There! You said it yourself! You suck at arguments and lying.” Tiffany pointed at her.
Jessica sighed in defeat and waved her hands frantically in the air. “Fine! I’m looking for something!” She walked past Tiffany and went up the second level of the flag stone bleachers.
“So what’s your name?” Tiffany beamed into a smile and followed Jessica.
Jessica rolled her eyes. “No. I’m not telling you!”
Tiffany. “Do you want another argument?”
“Okay, fine! It’s Jessica!”
-----
“So you’re looking for a ring? Where did you throw it?” Tiffany watched as Jessica paced back and forth below her.
“Just right here. Right where I’m standing.” Jessica stomped her left foot on the ground.
Tiffany realized that the grass reached Jessica’s thighs. She knew that the blades were long but she never really went down to estimate the length herself. “Jessica, there might be big bugs and snakes down there. Aren’t you scared?”
Jessica’s eyes narrowed. “I haven’t seen—wait, are you scared of big bugs and snakes?”
Tiffany scoffed. “No. Of course not.”
“Really? Because yesterday, I saw a bug… about this big.” Jessica pointed at her hand.
“Ya! I’m not scared of bugs! Let’s start looking for that ring, but the grass…is it itchy?”
“Tiffany, you really don’t need to help me.”
“Whatever! Let’s start looking for that ring!”
-----
Jessica doesn’t even know how much time they already spent looking. She was starting to feel itchy all over her body, she hated it. If only they could just clear the area occupied with grass and…that’s it! A lawn mower!
“Ya! Tiffany! A lawn mower!”
Tiffany faced Jessica. “What?”
“A lawn mower! We could cut the grass and—“
“How could you put a lawn mower from the top, down here? Besides, don’t you think people would get suspicious if they see teenagers drive a lawn mower and enter the gate outside? This place is a private property. We’re not supposed to be here!”
“But---“ she heard a crack of thunder, then the rain poured.
Tiffany grabbed her hand dragged her along. “It’s raining! We should just look for it tomorrow! I can’t see anything!”
-----
It was a fine Wednesday morning and Tiffany woke up with a smile on her face. On ordinary summer days, she would have gone shopping the whole day and go back home just to realize that all of the things that she bought were worthless, but today was not one of those boring summer days…
She took a bath, ate breakfast and immediately ran to the amphitheater with a lunch box in her hand. She smiled at the thought of Jessica’s grumbling stomach yesterday. The girl was too lazy to pack up lunch so Tiffany woke up extra early and made lunch for the both of them herself. She doesn’t know how to cook but she’s pretty sure that following the directions of a cook book was more than enough.
She reached the place and she saw Jessica sitting at the bleachers. The girl was holding something in her hands.
“What’s that?” Tiffany asked.
Jessica raised the items. “Uh, this? Working gloves.”
“Why do you have those?” Tiffany sat beside Jessica.
“We’ll use this to protect our hands. I also brought grass cutters with me. These would make things easier.”
Tiffany scratched her head. “That’s very…why didn’t I think of that?”
“What are you holding?” Jessica pointed the lunchbox.
“Oh this? It’s a lunchbox.”
Jessica shrugged. “Okay. Let’s start doing this.”
-----
Jessica was having a hard time using the grass cutter. Who knew it was difficult to cut grass? The grass cutter was heavy and she could feel her arm muscles tighten everytime she cut grass.
“Jessica.” Tiffany called out from her area. They decided that they should have their own areas to finish faster.
Jessica took the right side and Tiffany was at the left.
Jessica raised her head. “What?”
“You know, the ironic thing is, if you’re looking for something, you end up finding something else.”
“So?”
“I’m just saying that maybe-“
“Maybe, I won’t find it? Tiffany, I will find it. If you’re tired, you can rest or give up. I didn’t ask for your help.”
“Chill. I was just AAAH! JESSICA! JESSICA! COME HERE!”
Jessica dropped the oversized scissors and hurriedly ran to Tiffany. “What? What?”
Tiffany ecstatically showed the plant to Jessica. “Look what I found! A four-leaf clover!” This is good luck!”
“What? You screamed at the top of your lungs just for that?”
“Yes! Of course!” Tiffany jumped up and down.
Jessica took the plant and cursed loudly. “Next time, don’t scream if it’s not an emergency.” She was about to walk away and resume what she was doing but Tiffany’s stomach gurgled. The girl blushed and bowed her head.
----
“Are you sure this is edible?” Jessica’s eyes widened and used the fork to point at the dish in front of her.
“Yes.” Tiffany bobbed her head up and down and held the container near Jessica’s nose.
Jessica took a spoon and got a scoop of what was Tiffany holding. “What’s this?”
“Bibimbap.” Tiffany answered proudly.
“Are you sure? This looks like porridge to me.” Jessica could feel her eye muscles twitch. She didn’t trust Tiffany’s cooking abilities the moment she saw the white, watery dish. Jessica couldn’t cook but she knows what an edible food looks like.
“Ya! That’s bibimbap! Just eat it!” Tiffany pushed the spoon inside Jessica’s mouth despite the protests.
“How was it?” Tiffany’s eyes were longing for a compliment from Jessica.
“Were you trying to poison me?!”
“You could have at least said thank you! I made this!” Tiffany whined and shoved a spoonful of Bibimbap to her own mouth.
-----
After five spoons of Bibimbap, Jessica decided that they should get back to grass cutting. Jessica did not dare eat the dessert that Tiffany prepared, much to her dismay.
Jessica was silently cutting grass while Tiffany was just looking at her. That ring must be really important or Jessica wouldn’t waste her time doing all of this. She decided to get back to work but she saw movement at the corner of her eye. She turned to where it was and she saw…a spider half the size of her hand.
“AHHHH! JESSI! JESSI! HEEELP!” Tiffany ran to where Jessica was and automatically held on to Jessica’s neck while jumping up and down.
“Tif-fany…I can’t..brea…the. Let go.” Jessica was helplessly removing Tiffany’s hands from her.
“ A SPIDER! “
“Ackk..Air.”
“A BIG ONE!”
“TIFFANY! LET GO OF ME!”
-----
“Jessi.”
Jessi. The nickname came out of nowhere because of that big hairy spider. It was new to Jessica’s ears but it didn’t sound bad.
“Jessi.”
Jessica looked over her shoulder and saw Tiffany swaying the grass cutter back and forth. “What?”
“Why are you so eager to find that ring?” Tiffany mumbled.
She was taken aback by Tiffany’s question
“Jessica, let’s stop this.” The girl blurted out while they were eating their lunch together.
“What do you mean?” Jessica asked nonchalantly.
“This. Us. It’s not working out.” The girl looked at her and wiped her mouth with a napkin.
The food in Jessica’s mouth started to taste bitter. She already realized what the girl was talking about: A break. “W-why?” Her voice trailed off.
“I don’t know. This is not working. I just don’t feel the same anymore.”
Jessica knew from the very beginning that their relationship won’t work, she didn’t know how to handle romantic relationships and she always thought of herself first before anyone, but she was hoping that they could make it through. She was happy with the girl. Everything Jessica could ask for a girlfriend was there, she was beautiful, smart, thoughtful, considerate and most of all, she could see through Jessica’s cold persona.
But for the past few weeks, her girlfriend was behaving differently: she didn’t call Jessica every night, they didn’t talk that much, no more Friday movie dates and the girl was avoiding her. Jessica didn’t think much about it, she thought that it was just a phase that each couple would go through and maybe she should give her girlfriend space. She did the wrong thing.
“I have to go.” The girl stood up.
That’s it? No teary goodbyes? The world was a harsh place. She didn’t even know what she did for the girl to break up with her. She was willing to work things out but the girl seemed to be sure of ending their relationship. Tears were starting to fall from her eyes. She looked up and she saw that the girl was already far away. So it’s over? Jessica clenched her fist and she saw the ring on her finger. So much for eternal love…
“Uhh. Jessica?” Tiffany waved her right hand in front of her.
Jessica shrugged. The break up happened nine months ago and she was sure that she got over it, but the ring was the only remaining memory of a relationship that she didn’t even try to save and maybe she wasn’t ready to let go of that memory.
-----
The day was about to end and Jessica was not happy about it. She got a bruise on her neck, there was no sign of the ring, but they found a four- leaf clover, a big spider, a shoe and a pretty stone that Tiffany decided to keep… and the girl kept on insisting that it was the irony of looking for something and finding something else. Jessica went home with a scowl on her face and a four-leaf clover in her pocket.
-----
The leaves were swaying along with the wind, clouds covered the sun and the abandoned amphitheater’s grassy field was halfway clean. It was their fourth day of searching and the girls were sitting under a tree. It was one in the afternoon and they were having their late lunch. Today’s menu: Kimbap and samgyeoppsal by Tiffany Hwang. Jessica was hesitant to take one bite, but Tiffany shoved a piece of Kimbap inside her mouth before she could even run away and hide.
“Delicious?” Tiffany asked with faint hope in her eyes.
Silence. The kimbap tasted salty.
“Ya! Jessica!” Tiffany nudged her.
Jessica reached out for the bottle of water beside Tiffany. “Water. I need water.”
Tiffany quickly grabbed the bottle and hid it behind her back. “No! How does it taste?”
“It’s salty and I need water!”
----
“Jessi, what time is it?” Tiffany’s back was starting to get numb. She patted it and stood straight. Jessica was still diligently cutting grass and stacked it in a corner near the stage.
“It’s four in the afternoon.”
Tiffany sighed. She already spent three days of her summer looking for someone else’s ring. Now that she thought about it, what would she do if Jessica finds it? What would happen if Jessica finds it? She thought about what she said since day one:I will stop bugging you, if we find what you are looking for. At t first, she offered her help to Jessica because she was bored and the place was her sanctuary, but as the days passed by, she realized that she enjoyed Jessica’s company. And right now, she’s not really sure if she could keep that promise to Jessica. As bad as it sounds, she wished that it would take them a long time to find the ring. She threw a glance to Jessica and she chuckled at the sight of Jessica who was struggling to scratch her back. She dropped her grass cutter and dragged her feet to where Jessica was. “Hey, Jessica. Let me help you with--- AHHHH!
-----
Jessica was stunned. No, she’s mortified. Tiffany was on top of her. She could feel Tiffany’s left elbow digging on her rib, the girl’s right knee was between her legs and she could feel the girl’s hot breath on her neck. It was a very excruciating and awkward position. “Ya! Tiffany! Get off me!” Her heart was pounding faster than its usual rate and she could feel blood rushing to her cheeks.
“I know. I know. I’m sorry.” Tiffany used her left elbow to gain balance to stand up and Jessica felt the bone gliding on her ribs. It was painful. She pushed Tiffany away but the girl ended up falling back on top of her.
“Oops.” Tiffany gave a nervous laugh. She could see Jessica’s face clearly and the girl was gritting her teeth, a habit that she noticed whenever the girl is irritated. It was cute for Tiffany.
“Tiffany. Please get off me.”
“Yeah, right.” Tiffany put her hands on the side of Jessica’s body and pushed herself up, but when her right foot touched the ground, she yelped in pain.
----
“I think I sprained my right ankle.”
Great. Jessica heaved a sigh. “Tsk. You’re so clumsy.” She kneeled down and touched Tiffany’s foot. “How did you fall down on me anyway?”
“You were having a hard time scratching your back so I thought I could help you. I was on my way but I didn’t notice that there was a hole on the floor and my foot got stuck.” Tiffany placed her right hand on Jessica’s shoulder to help her balance herself while she stood on one foot. “Your back, does it still itch?”
Jessica chuckled. “No. C’mon, I’ll help you go home. You can’t walk alone in this condition.”
----
Her shoulder was slung over Jessica’s neck. She was limping and she could still feel the pain but it didn’t bother her that much. She kept stealing glances at Jessica.
“Stop staring at me.” Jessica raised an eyebrow.
Tiffany smiled. “Why? Does it bother you?”
Silence.
“So, Jessica…I haven’t seen you around here before.” There were a few blocks left before they reach her house and Tiffany wanted to use this opportunity to know more about Jessica. They spent hours in the abandoned amphitheater together but Jessica didn’t really talk that much.
“Yes. We just moved here two weeks ago.”
“From where?”
“San Francisco.”
Tiffany’s eyes lit up with happiness, she tugged Jessica’s shirt. “Oh really?! I grew up in California!”
“Hmm.” Came an uninterested answer from Jessica.
Tiffany saw Jessica as a mysterious girl: she was cold, blunt and it seemed like she never cared about anyone but herself but there’s more, the girl had a soft side, Jessica was walking her home because of her sprained ankle and it was enough proof for that. But there was one thing that really bothered her, why was Jessica so attached to that ring?
“Jessica, since I’ve been helping you to find that ring, could you tell me why you’re so eager to find it?”
“I..” Jessica paused.
“C’mon, tell me. I’m just curious. Pretty please?”
“Well, that ring holds a few memories that I don’t want to forget.”
“Good memories? “
“You could say that.”
“So how come you threw it in the-“
“I wanted to get rid of it so I went to the amphitheater to do it but I regretted it once I saw it flew in the air. Is this your place?” They stopped in front of a two-storey house.
Tiffany nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, Jessica.”
“No problem.”
“So an important person gave the ring to you?”
“Hmm. She was. You better go inside Tiff, it’s getting late.”
Tiffany was about to open the door with her key but she turned around and called Jessica. The girl went back with a worried expression on her face. “Why? Does it hurt so much?”
“No. I just wanted to…” She limped to get in front of Jessica and gave a peck on the girl’s right cheek. “Thank you, get home safely and just remember that sometimes, holding on to the past is not good.”
----
Jessica wasn’t expecting a kiss. She cupped her right cheek and watched as the door closed in front of her. She scratched her head and started to head home. They didn’t find the ring but she didn’t feel bad like she used to and Tiffany’s last words made her think.
---
Jessica sat down at the last stair and stared at the stacked grass a few meters away from her. It was a cool Friday morning and she decided to go to the place early, the weatherman said that it will rain in the afternoon. She wasn’t sure if Tiffany can make it. She shook her head at Tiffany’s clumsiness and sprained ankle. She stood up and walked at the center of the field. She chuckled when she realized that the place looked different from what it was before. They managed to cut all the grass that could be found in the area.
The place looked clean and she smiled at that thought, at least she did something productive out of looking for that ring. She made her way towards the stage but her right foot felt an opening on the floor. She got curious and kneeled. She placed her right hand to where her right foot was and she scrunched her eyebrows. This must be the hole that caused Tiffany’s sprain. She took a closer look and realized that it was a crack and not a hole. The cement floor must have cracked a long time ago. She placed her hand inside the floor’s opening out of curiosity and wriggled her fingers inside. Her whole hand fit, no wonder Tiffany’s foot got in.
She was about to remove her hands from the opening but she felt something cold and metallic. Her eyebrows formed a straight line and she used her thumb and index finger to pick it up…and then the moment came---the moment she had been waiting for, the moment when she saw the glint in her hand.
“ I will stop bugging you, if we find what you are looking for.”
Tiffany’s words kept ringing in her ear.
A mix of emotions ran through her. She didn’t know if she should be happy to have found the ring and have Tiffany not bug her for the rest of her life, or to be sad for exactly the same reason. And just as her thoughts were lingering, she heard her, she heard Tiffany call. “Jessica!”
“Have you found it yet?” Tiffany asked from afar, with a smile on her face.
After hearing that, it all became clear. Did she really want to hold on to the memory, to the past that whatever she does, she cannot change? No, she didn’t. With that revelation, she tossed the ring again, carefully so Tiffany wouldn’t see the act, but this time, for good. And she replied, “Not quite.” But I found something else.
For the first time in the long time, she actually felt good. She felt proud of what she did. She stood up, approached Tiffany and smiled. “Maybe we just have to come back another day.”
*********************
The condensation from the cup of iced coffee had already soaked through the napkins, but Tiffany had not yet worked out her answer. Summer in Seoul. Why? What had convinced her to do this, to fly back to Seoul and spend her last summer before college there, of all places? SoCal would have been just as warm, but at least they had the pool. Just a small one, bright blue and lapping gently at the edges; it would have been calling her name.
“Fany!”
Well, not quite like that.
Tiffany turned towards the entrance. It wasn’t hard to meet someone you knew in Hongdae. The lightness of her head, with its new bob, still managed to surprise her. The haircut had taken some courage, but she was glad for it, it framed her face in an attractive way. She was still new to the thrill of approving looks from strangers.
“Yuri? ...Hyoyeon?”
Instinctively, her eyes darted around them, behind them, seeking out faces which had never been far from them, in her memory. She did this, even though she knew, and reminded herself at once, that Sooyoung was in Tokyo, that Stella was in New York, that Jessica--
Jessica had always been somewhere else.
***
Seating assignments at Kent were an invariable ritual, on the first day of school. Cliques bagged seats and stuck together before first period, in the faint hope that, perhaps this year, their home-room teacher wouldn’t break up them up in favour of classroom quiet.
Faint hope, indeed.
Tiffany waited in her seat, stilling her hands in her lap. Her expression was far less obedient, but hopefully, it wasn’t betraying her by being embarrassingly eager. Or puppy dog-like. Something like that. Around her, students had already started moving slowly, gathering their things and edging past each other in the narrow aisles. Her name had not yet been called.
Tiffany’s hopes rose. Sooyoung had lopped off from Jessica’s side with good grace, but Yuri’s expression hadn’t been as pleasant. She was, after all, being wrenched from her allies and tossed a row back, next to Hyoyeon’s wary unfamiliarity. From the corner of her eye, Hyoyeon’s second piercing glinted cheekily at Yuri.
Jessica had remained still in her seat, relaxed but not conspicuously so. It wasn’t good to look too out of things. Her height wouldn’t earn her the safety of the back of the classroom, but a corner seat was good enough.
“Kim Taeyeon, Lee Su-- Lee Soonkyu, to the front. You can’t possibly see back there.”
Tiffany permitted herself an impatient wriggle. How had she not been moved yet? She was too tall to be this far front. There were only a few empty seats left; there was only one which she wanted. It was quite possibly her last year for this chance. Perhaps this year, finally, maybe this time—
“Tiffany Hwang.”
Please, please, please. Please.
“Tiffany Hwang, join Jessica Jung at the window.”
Oh, thank you.
*
“May I borrow your pink highlighter, please?”
“Take it.”
Behind them, Yuri squawked. Hyoyeon had forgotten to write with her right hand, again.
From that first day, Jessica had accepted her presence the way Tiffany had seen her accept everything else, with a calm civility that could have passed for disinterest, polite disinterest. A look up into Tiffany’s face from her seat. One blink, hana. And another blink, dul. And then she had shifted a little in her seat, towards the window, while turning slightly towards Tiffany. Tiffany supposed it was her way of saying “Welcome.”
Or “Hey.”
Or “I don’t really know you but I don’t think you’re a serial killer, and I know you’re the one who loves to talk and who still keeps in touch with Isak-sunbae , even though she’s graduated—”
Nah. Jessica didn’t watch her, the way she had watched Jessica.
*
It wouldn’t be easy, she knew. Two years of high school had already helped Jessica to form her own loose network of friends and sunbaes, with whom she went to the movies, took sticker photos and tried bubble tea flavours. Tiffany knew this, and she wasn’t going to fight it. She wasn’t sure how she would react if Jessica suddenly asked her to hang out after school, anyway. All she wanted was to get to know her more. Address her without thinking as “ya” or “Jess” or even “Sica-ya”. Maybe tell an off-hand joke that would bring Jessica’s sudden laughter, the sort that spilt over into gasping, wheezing hysterics, once she got going. (There was a particularly young and wry English teacher who could get her going with just an eyebrow quirk).
Nearly two years of watching will do that to a girl.
That made her sound like a creep. It wasn’t as if Jessica had been the first girl she’d wanted to get to know, anyway (Dig yourself deeper into stalker territory, Tiff, way to go), but she had held on to Tiffany’s interest, through no active effort of her own, while other interesting, intriguing girls either faded from view or came closer into Tiffany’s life as friends, confidantes, or just extra-curricular partners, thereby losing their mysterious aura. Jessica, however, had evaded her so far, classmate and stranger, hovering in that tantalizing spot between potential intimacy and sweet mystery.
*
Tiffany had been prepared, had rehearsed for the initial awkwardness, ready to shrink into herself and prevent her elbows from accidentally bumping Jessica’s, or creeping into the space that was Jessica’s desk; she suppressed the urge to swing her legs as she worked, lest she kick Jessica. When there was contact, one of them would apologize.
Jessica, for her own part, didn’t trespass either, except when she laid her head in the crook of her elbows, and slept. Then, her hair fanned out, across her shoulders, her table, and sometimes edged onto Tiffany’s desk, or its tips would tickle Tiffany’s arm. Tiffany often wondered how it would feel between her fingers, just a section of it. It looked so soft.
*
Tiffany took to wearing her hair down in class. If she bowed her head and let her hair hide her gaze, she could admire the smooth curve of Jessica’s cheek and the long stroke of her jaw-line, the way Jessica’s baby hair, scraped back with an Alice band, curled feebly against her hairline in protest. When she was back home, in the privacy of her bedroom, Tiffany tried to describe Jessica to her diary, but her fifteen-year old mind couldn’t go beyond the whiteness of Jessica’s smooth clean skin, an immaculate expanse.
*
Slowly, they worked out their own rhythm, in a manner far less dramatic than the duo behind them. Tiffany learnt to not dump her bag on her desk, when Jessica was napping on her own, every morning. Instead, the spacious carryall was eased onto her chair, without a single of its heavy chains clinking. Tiffany soon observed that when Jessica flinched, the quickest way to change her expression was to lower her own voice. And when Yuri stomped round to their joined desks, distraught because Hyoyeon had drawn a sparkly smiley face on her hand, Tiffany knew when she wasn’t wanted, leaving her seat for Yuri to scribble agitated letters next to Jessica, who knew better than to say anything.
“You don’t have to provoke her all the time.”
Hyoyeon had stared, more because it was the first time that Tiffany had eased herself into Yuri’s place next to her, while Yuri stewed in front of them. Her husky chortle startled Tiffany. It was pretty.
“It’s the only way we’ll be able to get along.”
Tiffany wondered if she was going about it the wrong way.
*
If the mountain wouldn’t go to Muhammad, and mountains usually didn’t pack up and move, then Muhammad would go to the mountain. Muhammad was going to get to know the mountain.
“I had eighteen Barbies, when I was young.”
“…Sorry?”
“I had eighteen Barbie dolls when I was younger. Some of them belonged to my sister. My elder sister. How about you? Did you and your sister share dolls?”
“...Yes.”
In the eternity that followed, Muhammad wanted nothing more than the earth to swallow him whole, so he would never try to talk to mountains about Barbie dolls (How old are you?) again.
“She’s only ten. She still has most of my old Barbies.”
Tiffany was never sure whether Jessica actually liked her, or merely tolerated her presence.
*
“Nngh! Nnnrgh! Nnrrrrgh--!”
Jessica cast a quizzical eye at her seat-mate. The white hoodie was evidently too tight at the neck to come off Tiffany without a struggle that would definitely mess up her hair. Instead of engaging in a full-blown battle with the offending garment, however, or even sliding her arms out of its sleeves, which would have halved her work, Tiffany had chosen to wriggle with the most limited range of movements open to her, arms sticking straight into the air, and the most futile little contortions designed to—to corkscrew herself out of its thick folds, Jessica supposed. She sighed, a queer little sigh that was mixed with a half-giggle.
“Ya. What are you doing?”
The hoodie slid down the little space it had inched upwards, to reveal Tiffany’s face, flushed with exertion and embarrassment.
“Here. I’ll hold down your shirt. You, you just pull it off, as hard as you can. Go!”
Jessica pulled, Tiffany tugged, and the recalcitrant hoodie gave up the fight, though not without engaging in a short, sharp struggle when it encountered Tiffany’s ears. Team Humans triumphed over Team Hoodie, and Tiffany emerged, panting slightly.
“Thanks.”
“Do I want to know what that was about?”
It was hard to tell, but it didn’t look as if Jessica was laughing at her.
“Uhh. The hoodie was too small for me…?” Tiffany’s words tumbled on, before Jessica could react. “They didn’t have any bigger sizes! And it fits, only the neck is kinda tight when I put it on. And take it off. And it was the last one, and Boa wore the same one too—”
“No, I mean, why didn’t you just stretch out and yank it off?”
“…I didn’t want to hit you accidentally.”
The sight of Tiffany, forehead scrunched in confessional apology, provoked another of those queer little jagged sighs. Then, the edges of Jessica’s lips lifted.
It was familiar enough to not make her stare, by now, the sight of Jessica’s amused, curious contemplation. She could have laughed out loud. Her own smile spread, the edges of her eyes crinkling. She was unprepared for Jessica’s next statement, tossed out casually as she turned back to her worksheet:
“You have a pretty smile.”
Well.
***
“Heard from Sica lately?”
The question, coming from Yuri, surprised her.
***
“You’re leaving?”
Isak nodded.
“Everyone’s leaving.”
“Kid, I’ve already stayed in Seoul longer than I should have. I need to go to college. A gap year is a gap year for a reason, you know.”
Isak’s brisk reply was accompanied by a one-armed hug that pulled Tiffany in, in and onto a sisterly shoulder that waited to comfort. Tiffany relaxed, and gave vent to a huge sigh. It helped, a little.
“Who else is leaving?”
“A--a friend.”
“Ah. Want to tell me more?”
“…Nah. Nothing much to say about it.”
Tiffany talked and talked and talked, especially to sunbaes who Understood, but she never let a word about Jessica escape her lips.
*
“Hey. Tiffany.”
“Mmm?”
“I don’t know if you’ve heard this yet--”
Such openings usually boded well. It meant that Jessica had something to share, and Tiffany was always more than happy to express her honest appreciation of Daniel Henney’s latest photo shoot, or to listen to fresh locker-room gossip, from Jessica’s own doting sunbaes. Even an update on the exam schedule was received with interest.
“I’m leaving for New Zealand, after next semester.”
People left, it was true. Especially at Kent. Families moved, jobs changed, the standard of living was always better somewhere else. What had she expected? That she would be able to see Jessica every summer in Seoul?
“Oh. No, I didn’t know.”
“My dad got an offer to train one of their teams. It’s not the Olympics, but still, one of their professional teams. They’re offering more, and Krystal can pick up more English there than here.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah, well, she’s not a happy camper. She auditioned for S.M, do you know that? Brazen little thing, just waltzed right into the building during a Saturday audition, all by herself, cool as you please. Got accepted into their classes too. She wants to stay, and become a trainee.”
“Wow. Hey, S.M, that’s—that’s not too bad.”
“Nah, she can’t stay. Do I look like the sister of an idol star to you? We haven’t got anyone here she can live with. Whether Miss Krystal likes it or not, we’re upping and out by next February.”
Nearly a whole semester, and it was still so difficult to read Jessica’s expression, sometimes.
“Who else have you told?”
“About leaving? You’re one of the first to know.”
Surely, that had to count for something.
“I mean, the clique knows, of course. Yul, Syoung, Stella… Yul may have told Hyoyeon, I don’t know. But no one else, really, not yet anyway.”
Of course, of course they would have known before her.
“So…how about you? Did your dad make up his mind? California or Seoul?
“Yeah, I mean…yeah. California. Next year, same as you. I might still come back during summer vacay, but—yeah, dad wants me back.”
“Oh, back to the States? Cool.”
No, not cool. Not cool at all.
***
“Don’t look so surprised. You might have kept in touch, who knows? We always thought you two got along well. Close, even.”
Was this another Yuri-prank? Her gaze was sincere enough.
***
If someone ever asked, there were moments that Tiffany could point to, moments that she re-visited again and again, until she wasn’t sure whether they had ever happened, or whether she had air-brushed them in her memory. Perhaps Jessica’s smile hadn’t been that wide, perhaps she hadn’t looked that interested. But Tiffany’s memory unrolled these moments carefully, examined them from every angle, framed them, and hung them up, on an infinite canvas. They would fade with age, but Tiffany was not old enough yet.
*
Tiffany hesitated outside the classroom. Jessica didn’t sing. She would sometimes return during break for a quick snooze, or to stare sleepily into space, but she didn’t sing. It was Tiffany who burst into song, in the corridors, or who tried out snatches of R&B styling under her breath.
But it sure sounded like Jessica.
”Ajik honja nam-eun chu-eok deulman angosarayo--”
It was light and fine, slightly jazzy, bouncier than the version that Tiffany had been humming in class. I’m so biased, but her voice, she should sing more. Tiffany’s feet felt heavy, too loud and clumsy. Should she take her place besides Jessica? Pretend that she had only come in to pick up something, anything, then leave? Would Jessica stop singing? Like approaching a rare, nervous animal, she tried to look nonchalant, stepping in through the half-open door. She stopped, unable to go on.
”Dasi geudae wa~”
Jessica turned and saw her. The syllable lingered in the air between them. Wa. Together. At the back of her mind, Tiffany wondered if she could remember how to breathe. Wa. Maybe even breathe and sing at the same time. And walk too. Sing it, Tiffany.
”Dasi geudae wa~”
Chest and throat felt too tight, and her heart pounded too painfully, an erratic rhythm tattoo-ing this moment for her.
She stopped in front of her desk. Jessica's gaze followed her, looking up, and she shifted at the angle that said "Oh, you're here", just as she had done on the first day of school.
One voice started off a little before the other.
"Sa--"
“--Saranghage doelkkabwa.”
Tiffany sank ungracefully into her seat. Jessica resumed her peaceful contemplation of nothing in particular. It didn't look like she had minded the song turning into a duet, at all.
*
What else had they sung after that day, on those rare afternoons when everything was right? Hwayobi, BoA, Lena Park’s “I’ll Write You A Letter”, any Korean ballad in Tiffany’s collection to which Jessica took an interest. Sunny’s trained ear moved her to point out matter-of-factly, “I can still hear two voices”, and indeed, their voices never came together as one. Instead, they slid together in two layers, smoothing out each other’s edges.
When our voices meet, and I look her in the eye, waiting for the cue to finish a phrase, I can’t describe this feeling. I could write a song, but there are only clichés. It feels like we’re in heaven.
***
“Yeah, she never said much, but I think she liked you.”
Tiffany had allowed herself to be distracted by the way Hyoyeon’s deliberately-distressed shorts hugged her bronzed thighs, but their owner’s statement brought her back. How had they known? Had Jessica ever talked about her? What had she said?
She wasn’t sure why Yuri had started this train of conversation, and why Hyoyeon was going along with it, and she definitely couldn’t ask how they knew. Still, she suddenly felt lighter, happier, and the summer heat ceased to be so prickly, so stifling. They had been close, even if it had been only in someone else’s eyes.
***
That year, it had been the fashion for seatmates to come up with a combination of their initials, an amateur monogram, to be carefully copied into autograph books. The boys kept aloof, but the girls threw themselves into the designing process, discussing their “sketches” and “drafts”, some of which really were quite good. Tiffany didn’t know who had started this trend, but she could have kissed them happily.
“I don’t like orange!”
“But I do.”
“…So I have to like Hyukjae oppa too? And Jaewon oppa?”
“Ya ya ya! Watch who you go liking!”
Tiffany kept her head bowed over her own sketches, trying not to laugh, but Jessica was already turning behind to doodle on Hyoyeon’s own sketch with a huge grin on her face. To prevent Jessica’s white blouse from being sullied by the dangerously fluorescent marker in Hyoyeon’s hand, Tiffany hurriedly interjected:
“Jessica! How about this design?”
“Ow. Indoor voice, Tiffany.”
It hadn’t even been one of her favourite designs, but it left their neighbours behind free to bicker on their own.
“J…T? Sounds like a rapper. How about--”
“No. I am not putting my Korean initials in it.”
Tiffany’s will prevailed, and they finally agreed on a curly combination of the letters “J” and “T”, intertwining around each other, such that you could have read it as either letter, and rendered in black ink. Seeing Jessica’s careful copy of it in her autograph book, Tiffany allowed her hopes to rise again. Perhaps Jessica would write something long and gushy, just like the other girls, something like Sooyoung’s or Hyoyeon’s heartfelt messages, complete with glittery stickers. Something like that.
Instead, she had to be content with a carefully printed one-liner: “It was nice knowing you, I’ll miss you, all the best, Keep In Touch.” Still, she read and re-read those lines in private, hoping to unlock some private longing behind them.
*
She hadn’t noticed the snow until Jessica nudged her. Jessica edged her seat back until it touched Hyoyeon’s desk, allowing Tiffany to stand beside her, at the window. Tiffany tugged absently at her sweater. It was the first snow of the season, and the last of her three seasons of snow in Seoul.
Tiffany longed to read something into it. In another world, this might’ve been the stuff of legend, or at the very least, something you saw on TV. Watching the first snow together, it might even have been something profound, prophetic; poetic and chic.
Jessica excused herself, but Tiffany didn’t move. The window was cold enough, and too tempting a target. A desk away, Yuri was already tracing initials and hearts, despite Hyoyeon’s giggly protests. Breathing hard upon the glass, Tiffany worked quickly, the pattern familiar from repeated tracings. First the top stroke, then down, a loopy curve, a neat finish. A ‘J’, a ‘T’, a combination. It was classy, if she said so herself.
“What’s so interesting out there?”
Tiffany’s palm swooped smoothly against the glass, erasing all traces of her handiwork, as Jessica reclaimed her seat.
“Nothing, I’m just—still watching the snow.”
Before them, the snow continued to fall, thicker and heavier, flying through the air. Snowflakes were soft, nearly weightless, but the cold could sting, Tiffany knew. Finally, it settled on the ground, a vast expanse of white, virgin and untouchable.
***
Epilogue (On A Clear Day, You Can See Forever)
They had chatted about other things, leaving the topic of Jessica behind. Boys, some of whom Tiffany remembered, and some who were new to her ears. Tiffany’s impending college life (Common showers, ottoke?!), Hyoyeon’s brief stay in China, Yuri’s even briefer trip to New York. Tiffany had admired Yuri’s highlights, and Hyoyeon had fingered Tiffany’s haircut appreciatively. Finally, when the last drops of coffee had been drained, and the lunch-time crowd was starting to fill up Coffee Bean, Tiffany was ready to go. Hyoyeon and Yuri were going to stay a little while longer; Tiffany guessed that there was some boy-talk she was not going to be privy to. She knew when to make herself scarce.
The chains on her new tote probably made up most of its weight. She really had to stop going for the flashy, heavy bags. Out of habit, she stilled them when they jangled on their way up to her shoulder. Ah. A question formed on the tip of her tongue.
“Does—do you know if Jessica has Facebook?”
Yuri looked up, Hyoyeon’s small hands still resting delicately in her palms for inspection. She wasn’t sure what she felt about Hyoyeon’s new nail-art. Was black-and-silver really the way to go?
“Yeah, she’s my friend. Go add her.”
***
Plenty of things could change in three years.
It was a few days before Tiffany got around to seeking Jessica.
From what she could see, Jessica was still…recognizably Jessica. Her profile picture was artsy, filtered and blurred, more artistic experiment than portraiture; her quotes, fairly literary. There were the usual suspects, Romeo and Juliet, bossa nova, Life of Pi.
Tiffany hesitated, and clicked. After all, Jessica hadn’t locked her Picture gallery. It would be alright to look.
*
Click-click.
No, not that one. Perhaps the poloraids.
Click-click.
Damn that girl. Would it kill Krystal to steady her hand before shooting?
Jessica was growing impatient. Selecting and uploading pictures on Facebook was taking longer than she had expected. She had only picked out one that afternoon, so far, a sharp black-and-white close-up of her second ear piercing. (Her last, she had decided.)
*
What was she looking for? A class photo from 2004? Some irrevocable, un-erasable proof that she had existed, to Jessica? That she still existed, to her?
*
Her tattoo! That might do.
When the tattoo artist had asked her to choose a design, Jessica had hesitated. None of the flowers, butterflies, stars or faintly-New Age tribal swirls appealed to her. She didn’t want hanja either. Her first tattoo had to be something special.
“Your initials, then,” Another employee had suggested.
Something simple, she didn’t want the pain to last longer than necessary. Paging through the laminated samples, she traced a letter “J” idly. Would that do? It had to be personal.
“I have a design of my own, I’ll sketch it for you.”
How had it gone? There was a big loop at the bottom, she remembered, and it curved over the vertical stroke in one fluid move. Was that it? Jessica tilted her head. Perhaps the top stroke had been a little bit more embellished. There.
The alcohol swab was cool against her skin. She wished there was a female tattooist in the store. If she screamed, would the male employees laugh at her? She had to stay still, very still.
Tiffany would have yelled. No, Tiffany would have kicked up a good loud fuss over even getting a tattoo. Was she still as loud? SoCal, that’s where she was. Had she picked up a SoCal twang, in addition? Would she still have her long hair?
“Nrrgh.” All coherent thought disappeared, in the time it took to grunt in pain.
It had been worth it. The black ink was stark against her white skin, and made such a good picture, too. (“Tramp stamp,” she had giggled to herself.)
*
Tiffany glanced at the clock. Nearly time to meet her aunt for lunch. There weren’t many pictures left, and if the roads were clear, she could drive down. Yes.
*
“Unnie! Time to drive me to soccer practice!”
Drat that kid. Krystal did have good lungs, she’d give her that.
“Unniiiie! I’m ready, let’s go!”
*
Tiffany really had to go, but one last picture--
*
Jessica cast one last glance at the picture on her screen. It really was a little too low on her back to be modest Facebook material, and no one knew about it yet. It was her secret. If she put it up, Krystal might see it, and flounce back to the family about it.
It was her secret, a secret to be discovered only by a girl in the future, perhaps even a few, in this life, (in the future).
*
Was that a second piercing in the picture? Tiffany had to admire how the photographer (Who did she get to do that for her?) had captured the delicate contours of Jessica’s ear.
“Oh, Jess—Jessica.”
*
But it was such a good picture—
*
Had that been the last picture in the gallery? Tiffany lingered, her hand stilling above the mouse.
*
On the other side of the world, Jessica weighed her choices.
Click.
***************
Tiffany let out a huff as she saw yet another group of fangirls run up to Jessica to try and get her attention. While Jessica was currently her girlfriend, that still didn’t stop the fact that girls still threw themselves at the blonde. Granted, she couldn’t really blame them (because hello, her nickname was GorJess for a reason) but she felt that she had a certain right to remain peeved.
After all, while their relationship certainly wasn’t expected, Tiffany still didn’t understand the logic behind the fangirl’s attempts to steal Jessica away from her. After framing her with a honorable, “Prince Charming” type of personality, they then expected that they could woo Jessica to cheat on Tiffany, and then have her return faithfully to them? It didn’t make any sense, but Tiffany stopped trying to understand their thought process a long time ago.
Just because she stopped thinking about it didn’t mean it still didn’t happen however.
“Why the long face?”
Turning around, Tiffany couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle at the sight before her.
“TaeTae…why are you wearing a penguin outfit?”
“This?” The smaller girl spun in a circle, eliciting more chuckles out of Tiffany. “Well, Sunny’s at home sick right now and I figured that this might cheer her up a bit! I mean, look at me!” TaeYeon wiggled her body and smiled as Tiffany let out a bark of laughter at seeing the inflatable belly jiggle back and forth. “Who wouldn’t smile after seeing this?”
Smiling, Tiffany shook her head amusedly at the supposedly older girl’s actions. The girl probably knew her just as well as Jessica, if not more due to the time they had spent together when they were young. Knowing that the girl was also trying to cheer her up as well, Tiffany pulled the shorter girl into a hug, chuckling as she felt the belly’s bulge against her stomach.
“Thanks for the laugh TaeTae, I needed it.” Glancing over her shoulder to see a bob of blonde hair lost amongst a sea of black and brown, she smiled sadly. “Tell Jessica, whenever she gets out of there, that I went off to think for a bit, okay?”
Walking off before TaeYeon could say another word, Tiffany walked to her favorite spot, thinking back to how her and Jessica first met.
~*~
“Ouch!”
Wincing as she felt herself hit the floor, books and papers scattering everywhere, Tiffany couldn’t help but wonder who else would be in the hallway at this time; the only reason she was still around was that she was finishing up a study session with JuHyun. Hurriedly getting up, Tiffany proceeded to ramble on her apology, keeping her head low the entire time.
“Are you okay?”
Stopping her string of apologies, Tiffany slowly raised her head only to find herself staring into a pair of stunningly clear brown eyes. Trying her very best not to imitate a blowfish, Tiffany found herself in a state of shock as she realized she was staring into not just anyone’s eyes, but Jessica Jung’s eyes.
“Oh my gosh, I-I’m so sorry!”
Quickly ducking down in an attempt to simultaneously gather both her and Jessica’s books, Tiffany received another shock as Jessica ducked down with her, and placed a small, soft hand over her own.
Looking up, Tiffany saw that Jessica was smiling at her, a gentle smile that had Tiffany at a loss for words.
“Your name’s Tiffany, right?”
At this point Tiffany should have gotten sick of getting surprised repeatedly, but her mind still hadn’t fully been able to grasp the concept that Jessica Jung was currently holding (okay, technically touching, but her fingers were slightly curled against Tiffany’s own so it might as well have been holding) her hand and smiling at her.
After all, while she was insanely popular already despite being a recent transfer student; the girl had two well known nicknames, and she didn’t earn the title of “Ice Princess” by being all smiley towards everyone. The girl had the unusual characteristic of being unbelievably direct and open, with her intentions always being “clear as ice,” as they all said. So once again, Tiffany found herself at a loss for words at the next sentence that left Jessica’s mouth.
“I don’t mean to be blunt or anything, but I kind of like you. So, will you do me a favor and go out with me?”
~*~
Smiling softly to herself, Tiffany couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at the memory. Slowing down, she stopped and looked up to gaze fondly at an old oak tree, running a hand down the rough surface of the bark.
Settled up on a hill away from the hustle and bustle of the city and high school, the duo went here on their first date together, an effort on Jessica’s part to try and get to know Tiffany better. The normally charismatic girl had been unusually tense, stuttering and fumbling, and Tiffany couldn’t help but be charmed at the sight of the clearly nervous Jessica.
Although honestly, Tiffany couldn’t blame the girl for being so unnerved; after all, the date almost didn’t even happen.
~*~
“Wait, let me get this straight…” Taeyeon began, the short girl (who for some unknown reason was dressed as a monkey, tail and all) pacing back and forth as the very confused Tiffany sat still on the couch. Suddenly whipping her head to look Tiffany in the eye, Taeyeon began her interrogation.
“You were asked out today.”
“Yeah…”
“Jessica asked you out.”
“Uh-huh…”
“Jessica Jung, the most sought after and well known student at Soshi High, asked you, Tiffany Hwang, a normal, every day student with a penchant for injuring herself unintentionally, out on a date?”
“...well yes, but do you have to say it like that? I mean I don’t hurt myself THAT often I’d like to think-“
“That’s not the point!” TaeYeon flailed her arms, a look of disbelief written across her face. “The point is that THE most popular girl in school asked you out, and you said MAYBE?!”
~*~
When Tiffany had finally given an answer to the much delighted Jessica, she remembered being unusually calm during the date, and afterwards too, until everyone started talking. Whispers in the hallways coupled with glances and pointed fingers, their voices hushed, tones harsh.
“I heard Jessica asked her out.”
“Her? What’s so special about her? Who is she anyways?”
“I don’t know, and honestly I don’t care. I heard she’s doing it for a bet.”
“That would make more sense; someone told me she was dying and that Jessica was doing it to be nice, but even if that was the reason, I bet the girl’s just lying so she can get Jessica’s attention.”
Tiffany had been close to walking up to the girls and giving her a piece of her mind when TaeYeon suddenly appeared out of nowhere, quickly berating the gossipers. It was quite the amusing sight, since TaeYeon was not only considerably shorter than the two girls, but also for some odd reason wearing a banana suit. Tiffany wasn’t sure if it was the words she was shouting or her odd appearance, but TaeYeon quickly succeeded in scaring away her gossipers.
The girl was apparently wearing the banana suit for some dance that HyoYeon wanted to try out, and she had just finished rehearsal. Upon her discovery however, that Tiffany had gone on the date, the kid quickly dragged her home, insisting upon hearing the juicy details.
“So what happened?” TaeYeon quickly asked, shedding her banana costume as she leaped towards the bed, bouncing slightly before sitting down, her attention solely on Tiffany.
“Well…”
~*~
She had taken Tiffany to the hill where the giant oak resided, laying out a blanket for the two to sit on as they gazed at the stars. Risking a glance at Tiffany, Jessica noticed that while the girl seemed to be having a good time, there was a slight shiver to her frame.
Pulling the surprised girl towards her, Jessica wordlessly moved so that Tiffany was sitting in between her legs, and wrapped her arms around the shivering body. Tensing for a moment, Tiffany then relaxed, leaning back as she felt the warmth radiating off of the blonde’s body.
Silent for a moment, Jessica gave Tiffany’s arm a slight squeeze, earning her attention.
“So, I know this is only our first date and everything, and I’m probably going to scare you off being this direct and all, but if I were to ask you if you’d be my girlfriend right here and now, what are my chances of at least getting a ‘maybe’ for an answer? Because normally while I would be really hoping for a ‘yes’ answer, the 'maybe' didn’t turn out so bad last time, so I’m hoping that if you say it again it won’t turn out so bad this time and hopefully-“
Tiffany had been thinking over her answer the entire time Jessica was rambling, and quickly making up her mind, she reached back with one hand and drew down the still rambling girl’s head for a soft kiss.
Mouth stilling, Jessica slowly brought her hand up to caress Tiffany’s neck, her lips silently moving against Tiffany’s own. Breaking the kiss after the need for oxygen became apparent, Jessica breathed heavily, and brought Tiffany’s hand to rest on her neck, right above her erratically beating pulse.
“Why me?” Tiffany whispered, question clear in her eyes as she nuzzled her nose against Jessica’s own.
“D-do you f-feel that? That uneven beating? Do you h-hear that? The t-tremble in my voice? You do that to me. You do that to me and it makes me feel like I’m not in control and I should want it to stop…but I don’t. I feel like I’m falling and the only reason I’m not panicking is because I trust in you to catch me before I break.”
~*~
Reminiscing, Tiffany was surprised to suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap themselves around her waist, snuggly pulling the girl against a smaller, but surprisingly stronger body. Surprised, Tiffany let out a small yelp before a familiar jasmine scent enveloped her, calming her instantly. Leaning back into the embrace, Tiffany let a small smile grace her lips as she relished the warmth that came from the other body.
“So, interesting story. I was out for a walk with my beautiful girlfriend, when next thing I know we’re being attacked by a pack of rabid girls.”
Smirking, Tiffany let out a quiet chuckle as the girl behind her continued her rather dramatic tale.
“Now, being the good seobang I am, I quickly leap into action, pushing my wife to safety as I attempted to fan out the unruly crowd. And because I’m just that amazing, I manage to escape the situation unscathed, quite an impressive feat I’ll have you know.”
Feeling a soft brush against her chin, Tiffany turned her head towards the touch, her gaze meeting the inquiring eyes of her girlfriend.
“So imagine my surprise when I turn to get a congratulatory kiss from my girlfriend and I find her nowhere in sight? Dozens of thoughts ran through my mind: was it all a ruse? Was the attack merely a distraction while the real culprits whisked away my love?”
Smiling at her girlfriend’s cheesy actions, Tiffany turned around in the embrace and leaned her forehead against Jessica’s, closing her eyes happily as she settled her arms on Jessica’s shoulders.
“I was just about to go don TaeYeon's spare superhero outfit, cape and all, before she so kindly informed me that you left because you had to think. So…whatcha thinking about?”
Tiffany remained silent for a while, just breathing in Jessica’s light scent. Jessica was about to speak again when Tiffany whispered a sentence so soft Jessica nearly missed it.
“Why me?”
Tilting her head, Jessica furrowed her brow at the familiar question asked so long ago, understanding clear in her eyes.
“Of all the girls in the world…why did you pick me? I mean, I’m not the smartest in the school, definitely not the prettiest, not really anything out of the ordinary…so why me?”
The whole time Tiffany spoke, her gaze was on the floor, mostly mumbling the whole time; so she was understandably startled when she suddenly felt Jessica’s hand under her chin, lifting her head so she could look Tiffany in the eyes.
“Hey…” Jessica said softly, her eyes looking into Tiffany’s own. “As cheesy as this is about to sound, I’m gonna say it anyways.” Sitting down against the giant oak, and pulling Tiffany to sit between her legs, Jessica wrapped her arms tightly around the girl. “As human beings, we can control where we go, what we eat, what we think, what we say, what we do…we essentially have control of the major functions of our body. What we don’t have control over though, is our heart.”
Taking hold of Tiffany’s hand, she brought it back against her neck, letting the girl feel the erratic, quick pulse beneath her fingertips.
“You’re the only one who makes my heart beat like this, makes my hands sweat like a pre-pubescent teenage boy in the face of his crush. I can’t stand being away from you for more than a day, and when I am it just hurts and I can’t make it stop until I get to hold you in my arms again.”
Nuzzling her face against Tiffany’s shoulder, Jessica’s voice became raspy, her grasp tightening around Tiffany’s body. “Anyone else, boys, girls, past girlfriends, girls wanting to be my future girlfriend…you don’t need to worry about them. They might say hi, do their girly little wave, and I might say hey back just so I can get rid of them, but you don’t need to worry about anything they say or do, alright?”
Bringing in Tiffany’s face for a gentle, chaste kiss, Jessica leaned back, licking her lips as she stared lovingly into Tiffany’s eyes.
“They could be the smartest, prettiest, most talented girl in the world, and they would have nothing on you.”
***********
A thick woolen cable knit cardigan had never looked so good to Tiffany,
and she kept the girl in view, constantly glancing at Jessica through the corner of her eyes.
---
The sun was just beginning to set at the beach, and all of the girls were milking their last moments out in the sun,
toes dug into the sand as they took in the breeze and comfortably chilling waves.
Tiffany could care less though,
her eyes instead glued to the girl that was just a little too far from her.
Baggy sweater hanging from her thin frame, hair tied conveniently back with her forehead showing for once....
The easy smile on Jessica's face was the only thing keeping Tiffany from getting too anxious,
too lonely without the older girl by her side,
and with a sigh Tiffany returned to her 'think aloud' with the camera in front of her.
---
"I should learn to ride a bike, don't you think?"
It was a simple subject, mumbled into the crook of Jessica's neck, and Jessica looked at Tiffany curiously,
a blank inquiring look adorning her face.
"You want to learn how to ride a bike?"
Tiffany nodded glumly and Jessica's brows furrowed as she watched the younger girl bury her toes deeper into the sand,
"Why do you want to learn all of a sudden? Is it because of earlier today? You know you don't have to be embarrassed, I already
threatened all of the girls so they don't make fun of you..."
"It's not that..." Tiffany murmured,
and for the first time, Jessica had to strain her ears to hear what Tiffany had to say next.
"I'm just scared."
"Scared of what?"
"I'm scared that you'll ride away from me... And I won't be running fast enough to keep up."
Because believe it or not, Jessica was like Tiffany's moon.
Stars burnt out as time passed, but the moon was constant, always around.
And when Tiffany needed her most,
you could always count on Jessica to be more than just around.
Tiffany's head lowered as she spoke rapidly, bottled insecurities spilling with a staining
sadness around her.
"You're better... You're prettier... You're all kinds of braver..."
And Tiffany believed it to be true,
because she was the clouds to Jessica's moon, greedily hiding the older girl so no one else would see the beautiful shine and glow.
She couldn't keep hiding it forever though.
---
Jessica blinked blankly as she took everything Tiffany said in, a small smile starting to tinge the corners of her mouth.
But seeing the obvious distress on Tiffany's face, Jessica easily wiped her face void of emotion with practiced skill.
They both remained silent, quietly watching as the staff and crew packed up, the other girls playing in the water one last time
despite Seohyun's admonitions of catching a cold.
Tiffany, distressed even further by the silence, was about to speak until-
"I had a dream last night."
Jessica broke the silence calmly, eyes never leaving the girls playing at the shoreline,
"I had a dream that we came to a foreign place and were playing on a beach just like this, we were playing in the water...
splashing each other... When this monster of a wave suddenly came and tried to wash you away."
She glanced at Tiffany, smiling at the girl's concentration as she listened intently to Jessica's story.
"Everyone was screaming and panicking... Even Taeyeon didn't know what to do. So I went after you, even though I wasn't a strong
swimmer, I went after you.... I fought those waves and... I brought you back."
Jessica laid her head on Tiffany shoulder, hand reaching out to take the other girls,
and she smiled as her fingers lightly found their place.
"I won't go anywhere, you don't have to worry..."
She nestled further into Tiffany's shoulder and continued,
"I'll never leave,
and if we somehow do split up, I'll always figure out a way to where you are."
And Tiffany couldn't help but believe it to be true.
"Because, I love you."
Simple as that.
*************
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