Dear amazing readers,

I'm sorry to say this is not an actual update; I'm still unsure as to when the next update will happen.

This is, however, something I need to do.

So, most of the people that follow this story, also happen to follow my account here on this amazing site/app. Because of this, you might have seen my posts on my page the past few weeks.

If you haven't, worry not! I am here to explain.

You see, I am a very private person. Only one person on this site knows my real name and she doesn't really ever use it (and I know hers but that's beside the point). Not many people know about what my situation at home is or why I go through severe bouts of writer's block or why I haven't been putting out updates for any of my stories in the last two or so months in real life or here on Wattpad.

However, although I am a private person, I feel the need to open up to you guys on here a little bit.

A lot of people have been asking me when my next update will be, if I am continuing the story, and some have even gone as far as to demand I update.

Right now, I have a ton going on here at my house. No, this is not just an excuse to bug off my writing.

You see, I am the third child of four in my home. I have two older brothers (18 and 21) and a younger brother (15). I am also the only girl under the age of 41 (that's how old my mom is lmao) in my house.

My youngest brother is severely mentally ill. He is schizophrenic, he has oppositional defiance disorder, he is severely depressed, he has multiple personality disorder, bipolar disorder, he has really bad anger issues, and he is extremely violent toward me and my family.

Over the past two or so years, he has been bacaracted (put in a mental hospital) close to eleven times. He has threatened to murder my 18 year old brother at least five times in the past six months, has attacked my 21 year old brother numerous times, and used to fight my mom and dad on a regular basis.

What most people don't realize about living with a violent, angry, and mentally ill person is that there is only so much you can do to help them. He is seeing counselors and has been since he came to live with us when he was five, he is on medication, and sees a doctor on the regular.

We all have locks on our bedroom doors because we were afraid of him coming into our rooms and stealing from us hurting us while we are sleep.

I don't remember the last time I felt safe in my house; I am always on guard when he's around because I never know when his next meltdown will be. I never know when he will threaten to kill one of us again. I don't know the next time he will attempt to go through with that threat and actually succeed. I don't know when the next time I will have to hide bruises that he gave me from my older brothers for the sake of his own life.

We all love him a lot, but living with a mentally ill person is hard.

At the end of November, my younger brother was arrested and placed into a residential mental illness facility for attempted battery on my mom and he now has three separate domestic violence charges; two for the day he tried to attack my mom and my older brothers intervened, and one for about a week before that when he attacked my 18 year old brother.

We are trying to get the state people to agree to keep him there at the facility until he is eighteen because that will be safest for him and for the rest of our family.

On top of my younger brother being removed from my house, both of my older brothers are moving out this year.

My 21 year old brother has been in college for three years now and is looking for a house to rent and will most likely be moving out this summer. My 18 year old brother is graduating high school in June, moving out in July, and getting married in August.

I am currently working on going from being the third child in my family, to being the only one to live at my house.

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for the past four years and I have dealt with suicide in the past.

I am dealing with ridiculous amounts of trauma from all of the stuff I have had to go through because of my brother and I am currently working with a counselor trying to work through everything in my head.

On top of everything I am going through, I am also having to balance school, a job, a social life, and church.

I honestly know all of this is really hard to believe and a lot of you may not believe me, but that's okay. You don't have to believe me; it's the truth and I'm telling all of you this to help with my own healing.

This is also here to let you know that yes, I know it has been a very long time since I have updated. I know I haven't been on here very much lately. I know you all want me to write you more on this story. But it just isn't going to happen right now.

I love all of your guys' comments and feedback; it really is amazing to see how much you guys like this story.

I genuinely do miss writing this story for you guys, but right now, I have too much going on in my life to focus on things that are not mandatory.

I have really bad writer's block right now and I promise as soon as it passes, I will update this story.

Until then, no one but me will know what's happening with Nico and Will.

Sorry to disappoint, I'm trying.

Sincerely,

Nickel

PS:

Enjoy the photo of my friend looking like Brendon Urie because of Snapchat filters!! Thought you'd get a laugh out of that :)