_joon_

❤ 💬 ✈️

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_joon_ new hair!! also here's my man being cute 😩

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seokjinnie1 we cute ig 💑

sunshine.exe oh god, it's the gays 😟

jim.kardashian Y'ALL SO CUTE 😭

$uga_ oh look, two cigarettes 🚬🚬

tae_babyy i want an excuse to dress up cute so when's the wedding already??? chop chop bitches 🧐

suff3ring.jjk ur so gæ 😖😖

namjin4life_ NEW LOCKSCREEN BITCHES HAHAHAHAHAHA

bella2 so when will the universe give me something like this??

_fl0ra_ god picks favourites and his favourite is kim seokjin 😐

...
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currently, jeon jeongguk was sitting in a park with his boyfriend, having a picnic as per taehyung's request.

"it's too sunny." jeongguk complained.

"oh be quiet, you vampire." taehyung rolled his eyes, popping a grape into his mouth.

one boy was sunbathing with a happy smile on his face whereas the other was sitting with his knees to his chest along with a bucket hat on his head.

i'm sure you know who is who.

this was one of their many dates so far but it was by far jeongguk's least favourite simply because it required him to sit in the sun and actually get vitamin d.

despite his hatred of nature and the outside world, the small smile on taehyung's face was making it slightly more bearable by the minute.

as he admired his boy, that question began to rise up his throat again.

hoseok said that it should be simple but sentimental when he asked him.

this was simple enough, right?

and it was a date so wouldn't it be automatically sentimental?

this always happened. any time he was with taehyung this would happen. he'd feel this urge to just pop the question.

suddenly he spoke.

"hey, taehyu-"

"hey, baby?"

they both spoke at the same time, actually.

"oh um, you can go first." jeongguk shrunk back into himself.

taehyung crawled over from his sunny spot on the blanket and moved next to jeongguk in the shade.

"i wanted to talk to you about something. that's the real reason i asked you to come out with me today." taehyung said, resting his head on jeongguk's shoulder.

"what is it?" the other asked.

"i feel like we don't know enough about eachother." taehyung admitted.

"what do you mean?" jeongguk questioned.

"well, we love eachother. i know that. but we don't really know eachother. you don't know where i'm from, you don't know any of my family aside from namjoon, hell, i don't even think i ever told you my favourite colour! i feel like we kinda skipped over all those cliché questions. on top of that, neither of us have ever really talked about anything other than the present. we never talk about the past or the future. i guess i just want to be closer to you emotionally and mentally rather than just physically. don't get me wrong, we've had plenty of emotional bonding. it's not that we don't connect on an emotional level. but what i want isn't about both of us together, it's about each of us as individuals. am i making any sense? i feel like i'm contradicting myself." taehyung ranted.

"i understand. you know that we connect emotionally together but you want to see into my emotions, not both of us, just mine." jeongguk nodded, hoping he understood correctly.

"exactly! that's exactly what i mean. see? we connect so well, we understand eachother so well. i just want to have more to understand about you. i want to know you for real. i know that i always assure you that i'll give you time so forgive me if i sound rude and selfish when i say this but i'm tired of waiting. i want us to be a long-term thing and if that's gonna happen i need some sort of emotional confirmation from you that you're going to let your guard down at some point. i know that you tell me that you'll open up eventually but just telling me that you will isn't the same as actually giving me a sign that you're becoming more comfortab-" taehyung rambled on and on until jeongguk stopped him.

"i get it, petal. you're running out of breath." he snickered.

taehyung sighed, "okay."

"how about this: you can tell me something about yourself and then i'll open up a bit about me. that way it isn't all about just one of us." jeongguk proposes wearily.

taehyung smiled, clapping his hands a little, "sure! i can do that."

"it has to be something actually important, though. i'm not gonna accept your favourite colour." jeongguk poked him.

"okay okay, fine." taehyung laughed before beginning to think to himself.

after a while, he started, "well i was the biggest punching bag at my school. i was bullied from elementary school all the way up until my softmore year of highschool. i guess that people got bored of picking on me after a while."

"you were bullied? i find that really hard to believe since everyone loves you." jeongguk said, thoroughly shocked.

"me and my family didn't always live in seoul. we used to live in a smaller town and there weren't any other boys who acted the way i do. i never wanted to do what the boys were doing when they were roughhousing and playing with cars. i was a sensitive kid and i preferred to do what the girls my age were doing which was drawing or playing with dolls. that in itself was pretty stereotypical but, like i said, it was a small town so there wasn't much variety. my parents never stopped me from doing any of the things i liked but it's not like they could sit in class with me to stop the bullying. as for namjoon, he would defend me a lot but namjoon is older than me which means he wasn't in my classes to help me all the time." he shrugged.

jeongguk listened carefully, "so you just kept dealing with it until softmore year?"

"yeah. once it was softmore year i think they got tired of calling me the same names over again. people calling me too girly, a crybaby and a sissy were things i got used to. people using the word 'gay' as an insult no longer affects me. people telling me to act more like a real boy can't phase me anymore after hearing it so often. once i turned 18 and started to make a name for myself with the help of my brother, i decided to take all the things people said about me and use it to my advantage. i knew that i was feminine but i was okay with that even though i hated that side of me for a long time. i decided to embrace that part of me and showcase it to the world and that's what got me my platform. it's the reason why modelling agencies reached out to me: because i was unique. daring to be different worked for me and i'll always be proud of that decision i made." taehyung finished.

"i'm proud of you too. i love the way you are." jeongguk laid his head onto taehyung's lap who stroked his hair affectionately.

"other than that, i had a really great life. i'm sure that my life probably sounds perfect if you compare it to what you've been through." taehyung brushed it off.

"nobody has a perfect life. i think that's a good thing, though. if everyone's life was perfect then how could people connect with eachother through their bad experiences? a lot of people become successful because their lives weren't perfect. kinda like you." jeongguk said.

"i guess you're right." taehyung leaned over and kissed his nose.

they sat in peace for a while longer until taehyung spoke up again.

"so, what would you like to share with me?"

yikes, here we go.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

•1326 words
•not edited or proof-read (like, seriously at all lmao)
•HEYYYY
•school has restarted and it's been pretty hectic
•i'm sorry to say this but updates are going to be very slow for the next few months
•the reason for this is because my GCSEs (the biggest exams of my life so far) are coming up this year and they start in exactly 120 days
•this means that i'm going to be focused on my revision/studying for quite a few months until these exams are officially over
•i hate to break this news but i know that you guys will understand how important these exams are since you are always so patient with me
•don't worry, updates won't be completely disappearing, but they will be less frequent which is pretty shitty since my update schedule is already quite slow :(
•if i could change this i would but i know i won't be able to which really sucks
•despite this, thank you all so much for reading and tuning in to all my updates even though they're so slow
•i hope you will continue to support this book and my others <333
•STAY SAFE!!!!
•i love you all <3

peace out xoxo,

nixy.