tae_babyy

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tae_babyy  "a dollar might turn to a million then we all rich" 📍new york fashion week

@ celine THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! it was such a pleasure to work with & represent you 🖤 everyone, tell your kids that dreams really do come true!! 😭

view all 782,934 comments:

jim.kardashian OMG YOU'RE EATING SO MUCH YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE OBESE ‼️‼️‼️

sunshine.exe i believe this is what the young folk call KING SHIT

suff3ring.jjk SCREAMING WITHOUT THE S, CIRCUMMING WITHOUT THE CIR, BEMOANING WITHOUT THE BE

_joon_ ladies & gentlemen, my little brother🫂

$uga_ kim taehyung, the man you are today 😩

seokjinnie1 ABSOLUTE MADNESSSSS LUV 😆

jjiw00_ OKAY MISS TOP MODELLL ‼️

tete33 OMG THIS IS SUCH A SERVE

_tae.kook JUNGKOOK'S COMMENT LMAO I CAN'T 😭😭

bellaboo OMG I'M SO PROUD OF YOU 😭❤️

s3r3n4 LOOK AT THE FITTTTT!!! THE FIT IS FITTIN 😩😩😩

cat_alina AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

...
______________________

taehyung and jeongguk were lounging around at the latter's house. the former had taken two weeks off of work after a busy week modelling in the city.

the day had been largely uninteresting for both parties which ended with taehyung coming over to jeongguk's place in hopes of finding some entertainment.

jeongguk, who was about to leave to go to taehyung's house himself, welcomed him in to play video games.

"i'm the champion of mariokart!" taehyung stood up after the tournament was completed, walking around the room with his hands in the air as if to worship himself.

"i let you win the last race." jeongguk rolled his eyes, pinching taehyung's stomach as he walked past.

"you're sounding like a sore loser, babe." taehyung flicked him on the forehead.

"whatever." jeongguk snorted out a short laugh before pulling taehyung onto his lap.

it was true that jeongguk did, indeed, let taehyung win. however, he would happily let his boy brag about his "skills" if that meant the smile on his face remained there.

sadly, neither of them would remain smiling for long.

all of a sudden, the doorbell rang.

"i'll get it!" seokjin called out, leaving the kitchen to go to the front door.

that's when all hell broke loose.

"where's jeongguk? is he home?" jiwoo questioned as she burst into the home.

"yeah, he's with tae in the living room."

jeongguk, who'd heard them talking, craned his neck towards the hallway to see jiwoo emerge from the doorway.

"what hap-"

"they know, jeongguk." she stated.

"who? who knows what?" he asked, sitting up straight as taehyung shifted off of his lap to sit next to him.

"your parents. they- they know that we've seen eachother and now they're asking to see you." jiwoo confessed.

taehyung, who was pressed against jeongguk's side and holding his hand, felt jeongguk instantly freeze.

he broke out in a cold sweat. he knew that both taehyung and jiwoo were talking to him but their voices were muffled, fading into the background, mixed into the sound of blood rushing through his veins. he felt like his vision was shifting in and out of focus, making his head spin.

seokjin, who was watching him closely, piped up.

"guys," he shooed both taehyung and jiwoo away from him, "give him some space, he's freaking out."

keeping his distance, seokjin reached out to tap jeongguk's shoulder, "you're okay jeongguk, you're fine."

jeongguk couldn't hear any of it, instead just curling into himself on the couch. leaning over, he rested his head in his hands as his arms were propped up on his knees. he shut his eyes tight.

"what's wrong with him?" taehyung questioned, the worry evident in his tone.

"panic attack." seokjin answered simply.

gently raising jeongguk's head up, seokjin spoke, "don't hunch over, jeongguk, you need to breathe. it's just a panic attack, you're okay."

the only thing jeongguk picked up on through his rushing thoughts were the words "jeongguk, breathe, panic attack" but it was enough for him to know that seokjin was there.

he clutched seokjin's wrist so tight that the older winced slightly.

"i'm right here, i'm not going anywhere."

grabbing seokjin's other hand, he hunched over once more, clutching the olders' hands in a death-grip.

"i'm not leaving, jeongguk, i'm still right here. you're fine. you're okay, just breathe." seokjin assured as he once again moved jeongguk to sit up straight.

"is there anything i can do to help him?" taehyung asked, currently the polar opposite to seokjin who was remaining calm and collected.

"there's not much to do, really. maybe just get him a glass of water for when he snaps out of it." seokjin suggested.

as taehyung lifted himself from his spot at jeongguk's side, he heard his voice call out to him, strained and dry, "don't."

"huh?" taehyung looked to seokjin.

"he wants you to stay with him." he answered.

seokjin removed his hands from jeongguk's and, instantly, the latter reached out to grab him once more.

"you're okay, you're fine. tae's with you, okay?" seokjin stated as he moved jeongguk's hands over to taehyung's which he took hold of immediately.

with that, seokjin left to get the water himself. he would've asked jiwoo but she wasn't doing much better than jeongguk. he patted her on the back as he passed by her. even though she wasn't having a panic attack, it was clear that she was stressed beyond belief and seeing jeongguk fall into a panic attack definitely didn't seem to help.

meanwhile, taehyung tried to continue what seokjin had started by mimicking his words, "you're okay, i'm here."

jeongguk leaned into him and taehyung could feel his breathing and his heartbeat. both were running a mile and minute as his heart pumped into overdrive and his breaths were short and shallow.

"deep breaths." taehyung told him, wrapping his arms around him because he just couldn't resist holding him after seeing him so distressed.

he wished this would solve every problem. he wished that whenever jeongguk had a bad day, he could just hold him and tell him everything would be fine and that that meant it actually would be.

jeongguk tried to breathe, he really did, but his head was spinning so much he could barely think.

sinking into taehyung's embrace is where he finally felt himself begin to calm down.

taehyung felt the way jeongguk clutched the back of his shirt as if to keep him right where he was.

"i'm not going anywhere, jeonnie. i'm always here."

"you got him?" seokjin asked.

"i think so." taehyung replied but it sounded more like a question.

seokjin nodded, even though he sensed taehyung's hesitation, he knew he'd be fine, "okay, i'm gonna drive jiwoo home. she can come over tomorrow and we can talk about the situation then. i don't think jeongguk will be up for it by the time the panic attack is over."

the only thing jeongguk registered from that is that seokjin was leaving.

his head shot up in protest but seokjin gently laid his head back on taehyung's shoulder.

"you're gonna be fine, jeongguk. i'm coming back soon. tae is with you."

seokjin left quickly so that jeongguk couldn't force him to stay which left just jeongguk and taehyung in the house.

ever since the front door closed, jeongguk's breathing had gone back to it's irregular, rapid pace.

taehyung could tell that seokjin brought him comfort in times like this. knowing that seokjin wasn't there caused him to panic even more.

back when jeongguk first started getting panic attacks in highschool, yoongi was always the one to comfort him. however, once he left home and moved in with seokjin at the age of eighteen, yoongi wasn't always around. from then on, it became seokjin who would comfort him.

jeongguk often joked about seokjin being his "dad" but, in all honesty, he really felt like he was. he didn't have any good parental figures in his life from the time he first saw seokjin all the way to now and so seokjin's responsible and loving aura drew him in from the moment they met.

he needed him. just like how he needed yoongi and hoseok. they were his family by choice, not by blood. they treated him better than any blood relative he had (sparing jiwoo, of course, but she couldn't be around all the time).

with no actual family, he was alone until he met his best friends. he didn't want to be alone ever again. in fact, many of the waves of anxiety that crashed over him, causing him to fall into his panic attacks, were filled with thoughts of being alone.

he was scared to be lonely.

even when he pushed everyone away, he knew they'd be there waiting for him. even when he fucked things up, he knew they'd be there to forgive him.

he didn't want to be lonely.

he couldn't be lonely.

suddenly, taehyung's phone pinged twice with text messages from seokjin.

______________________

jinnie💫:
i needed to leave before he tried grabbing me. hearing my voice when he knows i'm leaving him just makes him more stressed out. all you need to do is let him know that it's just a panic attack, he's not dying, he's gonna be okay and that you're there with him. please try and get him to sit up and breathe properly. it might be hard because he automatically tries to curl up into himself whenever he's having a panic attack and it just restricts his breathing even more.

if he snaps out of it before i get back then have him drink the water and just relax for a bit but keep talking to him.

child #5💫:
okay, thanks jinnie

______________________

turning away from his phone, taehyung tried to get jeongguk to sit up.

"cmon, jeonnie, sit up please. i'm still here, see?" taehyung said as he removed jeongguk from his body but proceeded to hold his hands.

"now breathe. you're okay."

it took a minute, but he managed to get jeongguk taking deep breaths.

"tae, please-"

"shh, we'll talk about it after, okay? focus on your breathing."

jeongguk did as he was told for once, thankfully. continuing to take deep breaths in and out, he felt like he was going back to normal. he could see the beautiful boy in front of him, he could hear everything he was saying, he could feel his heartbeat slowing down.

he was fine. he wasn't going crazy. he wasn't alone. he wasn't dying. he was fine. he was okay.

taehyung got up slightly to grab the glass of water on the table, the sudden movement startling jeongguk.

"you-"

"i'm not leaving. see? just getting you some water." taehyung said as he sat back down.

after he'd drank from the glass, taehyung asked him, "do you feel alright now?"

jeongguk nodded, laying back down onto taehyung's shoulder.

"what did you want to talk about?" he asked.

"i'm sorry."

"you don't need to be sorry, jeongguk. just talk to me."

"my parents, they- they- i haven't seen them since i left when i was eighteen. they're gonna find me, tae. they're gonna find me." jeongguk stated, his nerves causing him to shake.

"they can't hurt you or control you anymore, babe. you're a legal adult now and you don't live under their roof. even if they find you, they don't have any power over you. you're gonna be fine." taehyung assured him.

before jeongguk could speak up once more, taehyung suggested that he go and take a nap. he was noticeably exhausted from the panic attack and his thoughts were still racing.

laying down next to him in bed, taehyung said, "when jiwoo comes back tomorrow, all four of us can talk about it, okay? for now, you need to relax before you get worked up again."

jeongguk didn't reply, he just pulled taehyung close to him and tried his best to let his boy's warmth ease his mind.

the next day...

"okay so, jiwoo, explain everything from the start." seokjin urged the girl sat next to him.

jeongguk was sat, hand in hand with taehyung, across from them and looked at jiwoo with an unreadable expression.

"i went to visit my parents yesterday and we were all watching tv in the living room then i- i got up to get a snack from the kitchen and i left my phone there by accident. i forgot that the polaroid i took of me and you is in the back of my phone case. so, when i left to the kitchen i heard my mum call out to me asking where i got my phone charm from and i immediately freaked out because i remembered that the picture was in my phonecase..."

~flashback~

"awh, jiwoo this little thing hanging from your phone is quite cute. where'd you get it?" her mother called out.

jiwoo's eyes widened immediately and she dropped the bag of popcorn she was holding, letting it fall to the ground. running back into the livingroom, almost slipping as her socks slid across the freshly polished floors, she went to grab her phone.

by the time she got there it was too late.

her mother was admiring the adorable little beads of the phone charm when she turned the device around and her smile immediately dropped.

there, glaring back at her, was a photo of jiwoo and jeongguk. his arm around her shoulder, her hand ruffling his hair and carefree smiles on both of their faces.

"this is a new picture." was all the older woman said at first, still processing the fact that this photo was indeed very recent. jiwoo's most recent hair colour and tattoos along with the fact that jeongguk looked significantly different to how she remembered from the last time she saw him a few years ago.

yeah, it's been a few years, not just a couple since she'd last seen jeongguk. when they'd have family gatherings, jeongguk rarely showed up. when he got to the age of around sixteen he realised that his parents couldn't really force him to come along anymore. he'd rather suffer the punishment of defying them later on than be surrounded by people who couldn't care less if he was dead or not. not to mention, his mental health had deteriorated enough at that point to where he could barely even open his eyes in the morning without bursting into tears, let alone get out of bed and actually socialise with people.

they always asked.

"where's jeongguk?"

"why didn't jeongguk come? his name's jungkook, right?"

"didn't you have another son?"

and his parents and brother had been conditioned to reply with the same answer.

"jeongguk is feeling... unwell."

when it was the other way around (the family coming over to their house), jeongguk would simply lock himself away in his room.

they always asked.

"where's your other son?"

"it's rude of him to not come down and say hi."

"how do you deal with that boy?"

and, again, the same stale answer rolled off of his family's tongue.

"jeongguk is... sick."

and so, the last family members to actually see jeongguk were the ones his lived with (discounting jiwoo), those being his mother, father and older brother. they'd seen him about two years ago, the day he left. all his other family hadn't seen him in around three to four years.

but, back to more pressing matters...

"mum i-"

"where is he?" she stood up, looking at her daughter with a serious expression.

jiwoo's father (who was sitting in an armchair across room and had, therefore, not see the little photo yet) piped up when he noticed the tone of his wife's voice, "what's going on?"

she held up the phone to her husband who's eyes widened in just as much shock as his wife's.

"jiwoo," he began, "how did you find him?"

"the better question is when did you find him and how long have you been keeping it from us? we're your family, for god's sake!" her mother yelled, prying open the phonecase to retrieve the photo.

tossing the phone onto the couch, she held the photo up to her daughter in fury, "when?!"

jiwoo, who could feel her mother's seething rage, could feel her own anger begin to bubble, "what does it matter to you? it's not like you finding him would do anyone any good. especially not him."

"and what exactly is that supposed to mean?" her mother asked, offended.

"it means that your snitch ass is gonna tell his mum and ruin his life for the second time! he doesn't need that, okay? he doesn't need any of us! he has his own life, his own family, why do you guys insist on never letting him be?!" jiwoo retaliated.

"i am going to be telling my sister, yes. not because i wish ill on jeongguk but because she's his mother and deserves to know the status of the child she raised!" she argued.

jiwoo chuckled humourlessly, "raised is a strong word. i think the word you're looking for is traumatized. and that's the same for her damn husband."

with a gasp the older woman replied, "that is my sister! they are your aunt and uncle and you will treat them with respect whether you like them or not."

"they aren't my aunt and uncle because jeongguk is my cousin and i'll be fucking damned if you want me to put them on the same level of family as him. are you really telling me that your sister is a good mother? be honest with yourself about her for once! was she ever a good parent?!" jiwoo questioned, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

"she may not have been the best mother but she tried, okay?! at least she didn't ditch him at some adoption center or something." her mother tried to reason.

"oh wow, now you're saying she tried? tried my ass! she only ever tried to be a good mother for seojun but when it came to jeongguk all of a sudden she'd forgotten how to be a parent. he probably would've been better off at a damn adoption center now that you mention it! and i-" jiwoo rolled her eyes as her mother interrupted her.

fed up, the woman said, "you know what? we're not having this conversation right now. i have a call to make."

jiwoo, even more fed up, snatched her phone off of the couch and bolted out of the house, slamming the door shut for good measure.

~end of flashback~

"i'm so sorry, jeongguk. i- it's my fault! i know! i know that, okay? just- i-" jiwoo, who was desperately stumbling over her words in attempt to apologise, was stopped by seokjin.

"it's alright, jiwoo. calm down." he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"jeongguk... are you alright?" taehyung spoke up.

the boy in question was staring at the floor, unblinking.

"they- they uh-" jiwoo started to again, "they're asking me to let them see you a-"

"what did you tell them?" jeongguk asked, his head shooting up to look at her.

"nothing! i didn't pick up any of their calls, i only read the texts. i didn't reply but i have to at some point." she stated.

"why?" jeongguk scoffed.

"because i can't keep ignoring calls and leaving them on read for the rest of our lives. especially not when my own mother is the main one breathing down my neck about it. even if i block them, they'll find a way to contact me, you know they will. my mum literally knows where i live. you have to go see them at some point, jeongguk. they're going to keep trying to find you just like they always do." jiwoo sighs.

yes, jeongguk has had a few close calls with his parents almost figuring out where he was in the past. however, this current situation is admittedly much worse.

"well, i don't want to see them. okay?! why is it so hard for everyone to understand that i just don't want to see them?!" jeongguk yelled, standing up.

"i never said that you wanted to, jeongguk, i just said that you might have to! you know i don't want them near you either but this isn't really a decision that we get to make. now that they know you've been with me and know what you look like these days, it's only a matter of time. you're their son, it won't take long til they track you dow-"

"I KNOW, OKAY?!" jeongguk screamed.

silence.

utter silence other than jeongguk's heavy breathing.

he ran a shaking hand through his hair before wiping it down his face.

"i know that, okay? i know that. you don't think i know that?" jeongguk breathed out, his voice trembling.

taehyung, who had never seen jeongguk yell so loudly, was slightly shaken up to say the least. however, he still reached his hand out and placed it on jeongguk's shoulder.

he wasn't alone.

"calm down, jeonnie."

jeongguk turned around towards taehyung, sighing out a deep breath as the boy softly ran his hand up and down his arm, before slowly turning back to jiwoo.

"even if i- even when i see them, what the fuck do i even say to them? better yet, what will they say to me? what is there to talk about?" he gritted out.

timidly, not knowing if it was really his place, taehyung spoke, "think about it, jeonnie. even if you decide that you still don't want them in your life, at least you'll have closure. you've told me yourself that this whole thing with your family has been eating you up inside ever since you left. i know that they're the reason for a lot of your pain but sometimes you need to face your demons. maybe this is exactly what you need."

"he's right, jeongguk. you know he is." jiwoo added on.

jeongguk sighed once more before turning to look at seokjin. turning to find at least someone who agreed with him.

he didn't.

seokjin looked to him sympathetically, "they have a point, jeongguk. maybe if you just get it all out of the way, you can finally have some sort of peace. if you never meet up with them, you'll be constantly on edge, worried that they're going to find you."

jeongguk closed his eyes, defeated.

"okay..." he said.

"...but only if you come with me."

and he was looking at taehyung.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

•3757 words
•not edited or proof-read
•HEYYYYYYY
•it's been approximately 758 years but i'm back
•i was having an ugly ass writers block and i legit just had no motivation to write but i'm over it now which is great
•gonna update "my little angel" in the next few days too
•i've been adjusting to school again. being in 6th form is wayyyy different to being in year 11, especially when it comes to homework and pre-reading etc
•so i've been pretty busy in the past month
•however, i wanna try and incorporate writing back into my routine now that i've had time to get used to my new lifestyle
•i hope to update again pretty soon after "my little angel"
•STAY SAFE!!
•love you all <333

xoxo,

nixy.