suff3ring.jjk

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suff3ring.jjk they say death is a part of life so i why do i look foward to one way more than the other if they're the same thing???

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$uga_ not you looking soft as hell wit yo cute ass but then holding up a drawing of death and despair. duality is real and it manifested in jeon jeongguk.

↪suff3ring.jjk shut up sugar, i'm not cute and neither is my ass

↪$uga_ y'all is the world ending or did gguk actually reply to a comment. MY comment.

sunshine.exe i'll ignore the emo ass drawing and instead talk about how fuckin soft you look omfg, you own my heart✨⚘

seokjinnie1 when you accidentally type 🥺🥺🥺☠🥺🥺🥺

jjk.fan.2006 OMFG MY BABY AHH

bitch_ please take my soul, you deserve it, you're so precious

lovely.maisie not everyone commenting about how soft he looks and the drawing he's holding but just ignoring the dark ass caption 👁👄👁

bby_gguk ig i'm the only one who actually wants to ask if he's okay???

↪jjk.fan.2006 you're not the only one worried about him but we don't ask him what's wrong anymore

↪bby_gguk why tho??

↪jjk.fan.2006 bc the last time his captions started to get dark/depressing like this, his followers and fans all tried to dm him and comment a lot so he'd see so that they could find some way to reach out to him but, in the end, he just ended up disappearing from all social media for like 2 whole months. then, when he got back he acted like it never happened and forced everyone to forget about it. so now, when he has one of his mental lapses, no one apart from his irl friends get involved bc it only makes things worse.

↪bby_gguk oh... i literally had no idea :( i hope he's okay

...
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to be fair, his fans had every right to be concerned for jeongguk.

his captions were usually song quotes or just stuff that was on his mind.

so for jeongguk to caption a photo saying that death sounds good was pretty worrying for his followers who knew that his captions were often reflections of his thoughts.

jeongguk knew he shouldn't worry his fans but the reason his captions were like that is because he released a lot of his thoughts and stress by posting on social media.

jeongguk needed to write things down in order to get them off of his chest but he tried to keep a journal and it didn't work. he needed people to hear his thoughts in order for him to let them go. however, he hated talking to people in real life so he found that social media was a good outlet for all his unreleased emotions and ideas.

back to the issue at hand, that one fan was right to assume it was yet another one of his mental health lapses.

jeongguk and all his fans, not to mention his friends, already knew his mind wasn't a pretty place. although, every now and again he'd have times when it'd get worse.

now was one of those times.

there was no particular reason for it, usually. most of the time, he'd just overthink himself into the darkest corners of his mind and then stay there for a week.

during that week he'd completely shut down.

he would barely sleep yet he wouldn't leave his bed, he wouldn't answer calls or texts, barely post on his instagram despite him being always active, drink and smoke, barely eat anything and, last but definitely not least, cry a lot.

he knew it wasn't a healthy state to be in but he also didn't care.

usually only yoongi could pull him out of that situation.

jeongguk honestly didn't know what he'd be doing if it weren't for his three best friends.

he probably wouldn't be alive if it weren't for them. in fact, it's not even a matter of probability at all. he seriously wouldn't have made it to age sixteen without them.

although he never said it, he loved those boys so so so much. so much that if he did ever lose them, especially yoongi, he'd be completely lost.

so as he layed in his bed, he was thinking of his friends and of how much of a disappointment he was.

yoongi was right. what the fuck am i doing with my life?

he sobbed into his pillow, alone in the dark.

suddenly, his door cracked open and soon closed again. once it was shut again, he felt someone lay beside him.

"what's wrong ggukie?" yoongi asked softly, stroking his hair gently.

"i'm- i'm so-sorry i-" he choked out.

"shh, calm down. just talk when you're ready if you're too worked up." the other boy said.

jeongguk didn't answer but yoongi knew that he heard him.

"cmere, give me a hug." yoongi offered and, soon enough, jeongguk turned around and burried his face in his best friend's chest and allowed himself to cry.

jeongguk didn't like to show much emotion. none at all, actually. but with yoongi, he wasn't scared to cry. yoongi had seen him break down enough times which is why jeongguk wasn't afraid to show him feelings when he was with him.

so there they were, in the dark hugging eachother as the youngest cried his heart out.

ten minutes later, the door cracked open again.

"hey guys." hoseok whispered.

"hey babe." yoongi greeted him.

jeongguk didn't say anything, he just reached his hand out to hoseok who took it and joined their cuddle.

soon enough, the door opened and closed again.

"you guys are cuddling ggukie without me?" seokjin faked be offended.

jeongguk breathed out a slight laugh as seokjin joined them.

that evening, the four of them all fell asleep hugging eachother on jeongguk's bed.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

•986 words
•not edited or proof-read
•hellooooo loves
•i have nothing to say here tbh lmao
•do you ever just lay in bed at night and all of a sudden get really sad? bc same
•i'm paying for my mum's birthday food bc i'm a good daughter :)
•my shien order better hurry up bc i'm getting tired of my wardrobe
•i go through fashion phases
•right now i'm in my y2k phase
•if you read this far, i have a question: what's your favourite aesthetic/style?? ♡
•stay safe bubs
•i love youuu <333

peace out xoxo,

nixy.