This contains abuse,sexual harrassment,panic attacks,self harm,and me in it.

Sorry. (I suck)

Edd P.O.V

I was in my room staring at the ceiling and thinking about life.What was the purpose of it?Why did we have it if we were just going to disappear again?These questions filled my mind like they usually did.I decided to ask (Y/N) about.She was the only one who usually answered my questions.I've asked her so many and gotten an answer.All but one.

What do I deserve to live

She never seemed to answer it when I asked her.She just stood there frozen like someone just stabbed her in the back.I would try my best not to make her uncomfortable.I really like her and this crush started when she started to make sure I was okay.She was like Tom but a little more mean and strict.She would always try to make me included in things.And when she was playing sports she would always ask for feed back.

I really liked her she wasn't the fit but she wasn't slim of chubby.She was getting to the goal of becoming more fit.Because you could see this lines appear on her stomach.When ever I was alone she'd come and talk to me.She knows that I'm really anxious,nervous,and somewhat depressed.She noticed this by my lack of talking,and how I freak out at the smallest things,and how I have suicidal thoughts.

When she found this out she stuck by me All the time.Making sure I wasn't sad,lonely,alone,or scared.That's when I started falling for her.I knew I couldn't have her though.I'm to weak and she has someone already.But why do I still have feelings!!?

Your P.O.V

You were out and heading to the big park close by so you could jog.You loved to exercise.You ran,walked,jogged,biked and sometimes I'd you were close to the pool swam.You looked at a map that showed the entire park.It.Was.Huge.But you were smart you jogged here everyday.But you took different paths.You had already taken all of them knowing which were long and short.

Heck you knew this place from the back of your head.You were meeting up with your boyfriend Joshua,Josh for short.(He's Jon's brother)He was big,tall.You liked him.He was sweet but had problems when you talked to other guys or girls.He's reason you didn't have alot of friends.

He always thinks that the guys that you talk to are going to take you from him.And her thinks that the girls are going to try and turn you into a lesbian.But you always assure him that your straight not bi.You were still jogging almost to your destination until *SMACK*.You landed on the floor with one hand one your head."Are you okay!?"She asked.You opened your eyes to see a girl.

She had long black hair that fell over her shoulders,and red tips.She was wearing a light green tank top and a lime green hoodie aroung her blue ripped jeans."S-Sorry about that!"She said."No problem."You respond.She holds her hand out.You gladly take it.She looked pretty nice.

"Sorry I wasn't looking were I was going."She said.We both laughed like friends."I'm (Y/N)."You say."Adina."We talk for awhile until Josh came running in.He stepped in front fo you in a protective manner.And said"I'm sorry to interrupt what you were saying but,SHES MINE!!SO BACK OF!!!"Adina jumped a bit startled by his tone.

"Josh Stop!!"You yelled."We were just talking!"He looked over at you and out you on his shoulders.You face to his back."Hey!Josh!"You tried your best to loosen his grip on you.Nothing.You said Adina quickly come after you.She knew she could help.But she gave you a piece of paper with a number on it.You looked at her and she did a 'Call me' sign by her ear and put the number 6 on her hands then 9.

You got what she was trying to do.She wanted you to call her at 6.And if not 6 then 9.You gave her a defeated thumbs up.

Joshua took you to his house. But why?"U-um Josh I'm supposed to be going to my home."You said in an angry tone."(Y/N).We've talked about this a million times about being social.You know you aren't allowed to talk to people that we are not familiar with.You may know her But No don't.So I don't want you talk with her.Your only allowed to talk to me,Jon,Mark,and Edwardo(I don't know how to spell it forgive me).

"YOU KNOW THEM I DONT!I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT EDWARDO!!AND MARK DOESNT EVEN TALK TO ME!!!!"You screamed.The room went completely silent.The only thing you could hear was a beating heart.The sound of that heart was getting louder and faster.You knew it was Josh's.I started to gain son fear.Knowing that you were active.But Josh was much bigger than you.Which when he gets mad it doesn't end well.

"(Y/N)..........Do You know who you're talking to?"He said.You stayed quiet.He walked over to you and and screamed at you."(Y/N) (L/N)!DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO!!!?He slapped you and you fell on the floor."YOU KNOW YOU NEVER USE THAT TONE ON ME!!YOU ONLY USE THAT TONE ON YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE I DONT WANT THEM TO TAKE YOU!!"

You flinched.You felt the anger boil in you body."Friends? FRIENDS!?"You yelled."WHAT FRIENDS I DONT HAVE ANYMORE THANKS TO YOU!"You finished.He got even madder.He grabbed you by the shoulders and threw your body into the wall.You crashed into the wall and the red liquid in your body started to come out of your forehead,arm,and lip.He then grabbed you by your shirt.

"SAY WHAT YOU JUST SAID TO ME AGAIN!I.DARE.YOU!"He said.You couldn't get the words out of you provide mouth.You were to scared."That's what I thought."He releases you and you fall."Now clean up and change."He said.You slowly stand.Still shaking.You walk over the bathroom.You got the first aid kit and started cleaning up your wounds.You went to his room and took a change of clothes.

"You're staying at my house for a few days.I don't want your shitty 'friends' accusing me of abuse.So if they call you say your okay."He said.You simply nodded.You sat in his room thinking about Edd.The way he was so shy and awkward.The way he stuttered and asked you questions.The one question you failed to answer is the one you were afraid of.You were afraid that if she were to tell him the answer he would try even harder to commit suicide.

You didn't want that.You didnt want a world without Edd.You sighed.You looked in the mirror.You knew the cuts wouldn't take long to heal.

Days later

You were fully healed.It was early in the morning you saw Josh in bed shirt-less.You groaned and got out of bed and went into the kitchen.You were cooking breakfast for you and him.He would have beaten you if you didnt leave him breakfast.He slowly came into the kitchen.

Joshua P.O.V

I woke and made my way to the kitchen.I saw so called "Girlfriend" cooking breakfast.I slowly approached her.I know that she didnt want to but I felt like it.I wrapped my hands around her torso."Josh stop im making something right now."She said boardly.I smirked and whispered"You look board.We can do something that could change that."Her eyes went wide as she knew what I was talking about.

"Josh No."She said.I took my hand and turned the stove off.I picked her up bridal style and took her to bed.I pinned her down."J-Joshua if y-your g-going to d-do this t-then use a c**dom."She said.I licked my lips.It was much better w/o one.I brought my head down and kissed her roughly.She didn't kiss back.I pulled away.I went down to her neck.

I left hickeys down neck.Her hands on my shoulders and her begging me to stop."J-Josh s-stop I d-do-""I don't care.You never want to do this with me and you made me upset yesterday.I'm going to punish you so bad you won't be able to walk for days~"
She gulped.I bit down hard on her neck."A-Ahhhh!!She screamed. I loved it.

I loved all of this.This was going to feel so fucking good.I started to remove her shirt.I didn't take I off completely but I did get a chance to get a good look at her body.She had really sexy curves.I started to lick her stomach and bit it really hard with out warning."AHHH s-stop!"I loved it when she's in pain.I couldn't wait to see the rest of her.

Time skip to next day because I'm not good at lemons and I make them short.

Your P.O.V

You woke up the next day in bed with Joshua.You rubbed your head regretting what happened the other day.You wanted to make sure that you weren't pregnant.You didn't want to be.And even you wanted a child Joshua wouldn't so as soon as I becomes 3 he kills it.You hated the fact that he hated children.

You got the test and stepped into the bathroom.You stood there wait in for the results.The results came in.

Negative

Thank god.You didn't want him to torture any more children.You were very shakey.Of course you were,he fucked you!You picked up your clothes and put them on.Not even wanting to take a shower.You didn't want the same thing to happen again.You put your clothes on and ran out.Not bothering to cook him anything. Which was going to be the biggest mistake you ever made.

You ran until you got back yonyour real house.You went into the backyard and climbed through the window to your room.But before you could fully you heard sobs.You knew exactly who was crying.Edd.Your beloved Edd was crying in your bedroom possibly about you!You quietly snuck up on him.You saw that he was holding something.It was a knife.And his sleeves were rolled up.You could see a red substance leaking from the man's body.

You ran up to him a hugged him from behind.He jumped he was about to freak out that it was a stranger."E-Edd why?"He quickly recognize who it was.(Y/N).His crush.You had saw him cutting him self.He started to cry even more.Why.You both started crying into each other.Until you couldn't."I-I'm sorry."He choked out."It's okay Edd.Just please dont do it again."

The next day

Edd P.O.V

I had just woken up with someone next to me with their arms around me.I started to panic who was this person?!The person pulled me closer to them.I looked up and saw that it was (Y/N).She was so comfortable in the position Me and her were in.I blushed that I was holding on to her like that.I didn't want to wake her But I had to or else I was going to go into complete panic mode.

I slightly moved her shoulder.She woke up.Her (E/C) orbs meeting  my brown ones.I blushed hardcore.She let me go and got out of bed.She stretched."So Edd,how'd you sleep."I remembered I didn't get alot of sleep.I actually slept next to my crush.I felt nice,feeling her hot breathing, and her warm skin around me.She and me both our heads to the direction of the door as soon as we heard Tom yell."Edd!Get you little butt down here for breakfast."

She giggled that cute one she always does.It was so dreamy and I blushed at it.She and me went down the stairs to meet up with the others.The others looked at us and them Tom stopped all that he was doing and turned his full attention to (Y/N).He jump at her making her stumble but not fall."Where were you!You weren't home for almost a week now!"Tom whined.

He was right.Where was she hat entire time.We all looked at her hoping she give us an answer."I was...um...at Josh's place."She answered."WHAT?!"Matt yelled.He then stomped over to (Y/N)."What did he do to you?!"He asked with and angry but concerned voice.We all knew well that We hated the neighbours especially Jon and his brother Joshua."Matt calm down.Look at me I'm completely fine.No hickeys,scratches,bruises.Nothing."She replied.

We all knew that Josh was pretty protective.But in a very bad way.A few moments later we wear able to calm Matt down.Me and Matt were watching the television,Tom and Tord were coloring and (Y/N) was reading a book.I saw (Y/N) close her book.I looked at the clock it was 4:00 pm.She usually went to jog at this time.She stood up and started to head upstairs.She came back down wearing some black and white checkered vans,black yoga pants and a (F/C) sports bra.

She gripped her keys."Guys I'm going for a run."She said."Okay!"Tom said."B-Be careful."Tord whispered."Come back before 4:30.Oh and if you see Josh stay away from him.We need you back home Today."Matt told her.I thought for a while and I asked."U-um (Y/N) is it o-okay if I come w-with."She looked at me a little shocked but agreed.Them we were out the door.

We were walking to the park.She walked right past the map."(Y/N) you forgot to check the map.I said with hesitation."Edd I know this place like the back of my head.I don't need a map."She responded.Then she started running away.And I started to chase after her.Biggest mistake ever.

Joshua P.O.V

I was in the same spot I usually stand waiting for (Y/N).I needed to talk to her for 1 reason.She didn't make me breakfast.Hat son of a mother fucking girlfriend didn't stick to her task!I was waiting.I looked on my phone and there was a text from her.It was at 1:00 pm.It read

Bitch (Girlfriend):I won't be able to make it today.Thought I'd let you know

I raged.She didn't tell me in person.I was going to kick her ass the next time I saw her.And that's when I heard giggling.And that voice was her.I peeked into the bushes and saw her and Edd.I got jealous.So she wants to hang out with the pussy boy instead of her boy friend.

As they were running I saw something fall out of his pocket.I went over and picked it up.They were for panic attacks.I smirked.I wanted something bad to happen to Edd.so I kept it.

"Now she'll regret not coming for out routine."I grinned.

Edd P.O.V

"W-wait u-up."I was losing my breath.I stopped feeling uneasy.I searched in my pocket for my pills.They were missing.I haven't used them in a while.I was in panic.I always kept them with me.I started to lose it.My heart started to beat faster and faster.I clenched my sweater vest.And I fell down everything started spinning.

Your P.O.V

You saw Edd on the sidewalk in a pain.You stoped running away.You ran back to him and kneeled down next to him.He was breathing heavily.You knew this.He was having a panic attack.This was strange having him attack come again.It's been years ever since Edds last panic attack.Tears started to form in you eyes.

You didnt have your pills on you neither did he.You screamed hoping someone could find them."(Y/N)!You heard a familiar sounding voice yell.You looked up to see Adina her face also filled with worry.

Adina P.O.V

I saw people crowding someone.And a familiar person scream.I rushed in and saw (Y/N) in the middle crying.She looked up at me I could tell what was wrong.I rushed out of the group of people who were surrounding her and was off to look for Joshua.

I finally found him.He recognise me."Well,well,well.Isn't it nice to see you again."He smirked.It sickened me."I know you have (Y/N)'s friends pills.I saw you take some off the sidewalk!Give them back."I yelled.I saw his grin grow."You'll have to take them from me."I gritted my teeth.I jumped at him throwing punches.Some missing and some landing.I then kicked him in his balls.He dropped to the floor.And the pills slipping from his hands.I grab them and make a run for it.

Your P.O.V

"EDD STAY AWAKE!STAY WITH ME!"You screamed.You couldn't afford some you care about some much disappear.You heard footsteps.Fast ones approaching you.You saw Adina squeeze through the crowd of people with Edds pills in hand.You grabbed them and thanked her.Then you opened the lid and took 2 out from the container.Then you gave then to Edd who looked like he was about to die.

Edd took them and swallowed them.He blinked a few times.The crowd was gone.You smiled knowing that Edd was okay.Adina went off to call the police and get Joshua arrested.You hugged him.And he hugged back.You wear so happy the person who brought happiness to your world hasn't disappeared yet you let him go and started into his eyes.

He blushed and you noticed this.You laughed and picked him up bridal style and took him home.It was 5:16.You walked in and saw Matt jabbing nails into his bat.He looked at you and Edd."Thank god you're okay.I did you break up with him?"He asked.You nodded."YES FINALLY!Can I get and AMEN!We all laughed at his joke and reference.

You brought Edd up to his room.And layed him there.You brought him his favourite drink and gave it to him.He smiled and thanked you.You and him talked for a while before falling asleep.'Now that she's single maybe I can ask her out'Edd thought.As he drifted of to sleep.

OMFG That took weeks to finish sorry I wasn't updating.I'll try and make the next one not as long as this.We y'all later I'll try me best not to let you all down.

Word count:3043