Edd stared down at the blank piece of paper in front of him. He gently tightened the grip he had on his pencil before releasing. What to draw?

He has been drawing quite a bit of stuff that has happened recently, and he couldnt think of anything truly interesting. Besides 'the end'. Though, he tried to suppress any thoughts of his previous home, and any sort of memories of...specific events that happened there. However, to his disliking, his mind forced him to think of his Norwegian friend, Tord.

He hated Tord. He hated Tord before all of the destroying Tord had done. Tord was a terrifying monster that holds no feelings for the others around him. A terrifying monster, that Edd happened to love. Edd bit his lower lip and covered his face in his hands. Tord was amazing. Tord was an asshole, but a wonderful asshole. Everything about him. Those cute, light freckles. His stormy grey eyes which always held an emotion that Tord was feeling. That missing tooth that was revealed when he was laughing. Well, only from a side angle. Which of course Edd knew about.

Edd didn't hate Tord, he hated himself. But he couldnt help being a complete freak over Tord, could he? No, it's not his fault Tord's always on his mind, it's not his fault whenever he unexpectedly sees Tord his heart beat quickens. It is his fault, however, that he's too ugly to get with Tord. He should've taken better care of himself when he had the chance, maybe if they had gotten together Tord would have doubted whatever went through his head to make him want to do that.

Perhaps everything would be different. But there's no use having thoughts like those, even if he looked nicer, his personality is still as special as a grey rock. Unlike Tord's, because Tord was so...thrilling. It seemed he always had a story to tell. And Edd is so boring. No wonder he left. He had no need living in that household. He was too good. Actually, Edd remembers when this all started and why. It started when Tord asked him to teach Tord how to draw. And that stemmed into Tord pitying him, because of how lonely he was. Well, he had Tom and Matt, but they weren't necessarily close. And after hanging out with Tord for a few weeks, it actually did strengthen his friendship with Tom and Matt.

That's how Tord stopped Edd from cutting himself. That's how Tord stopped Edd from killing himself. That's how Tord is perfect. Maybe Edd could draw him and Tord kissing? Edd paused for a moment and began thinking. Edd would hesitantly bring his hands up to Tord's face, and Tord would lean down so their-

Edd stopped his thought process because of his realization. He's never actually touched Tord's face before. Edd was practically drooling over the thought of getting to touch one of those adorable freckles. Or run his fingers through Tord's dirty blond hair. Edd's long face grew into an idiotic grin, remembering what he used to do. He giggled softly as his face turned a light pink. Whenever Tord bent over, Edd's eyes always shot to Tord's ass. His face turned a deeper red once getting a mental image. Tord definitely didn't have the best of asses, but it was definitely one to appreciate. Edd looked towards the window, as his happy expression withered away. Edd wishes he could find Tord and help Tord. He had persuaded Tom not to spill Tord actually being the infamous red leader, but that's not enough. It'll never be enough.

Edd gave a small and exasperated sigh, before beginning to draw Tord as an army leader. Maybe if he drew Tord this once he might be able to accept Tord was no longer in his life and was dead. Or accept Tord would never love him. Edd's lips curled into a small smile.

That'd be nice.