More Awful Secrets
*Frisk's POV*
Hours and hours alone with G.
Hours and hours of awkward silence, and empty tense energy.
The hours never seemed that long when it was just me and Bella.
We had talked about everything, prisoners, the food, the ugly colors, G.
Never each other.
With G, the world seemed to freeze in the blank hours that flowed by like the waves of an ocean.
He never noticed, he would sleep most of the time which sent relief down my spin instead of shivers.
Yet when he was awake I could feel his eyes staring at me from across the room, my fingers picking away at the paint as if I didn't notice.
All I felt around him was discomfort and resent.
Pure anger.
Hatred.
Those were all the emotions I could think of when I saw him, and his calm stare.
He still smirked his awful smirk, but it would only be out of the cell, as if he was trying to put on a show for everyone.
I was right about one thing, no one bothered me as much anymore.
Probably because I was angry with them, I looked like I actually did mean to kill Bella.
Unlike G though, when I walked into the areas with prisoners, everyone just ignored my presence, as if I was never there.
Fine with me.
I didn't want to get caught up in their fights anyway.
Silence continued to fill the room when G walked in.
And outside no one went near him unless he was beating someone.
Sometimes when I was walking back to our cell, he would stay outside and trip me, or shove me, or think of any annoyance at all.
The only difference it seemed, was the empty hours and the loss of Bella.
That is, until G spoke to me one day.
I was pealing at the wall again and G was sitting on the bed, his back against the wall as he watched me.
Without looking I knew his lips had curled into a smirk, and he spoke with it hanging to his voice.
"Why do ya do that sweetheart?"
I didn't look up to look at his awful face, and I said casually, "Nothing better to do."
"Ya can bang me if ya want," His smirk grew.
In my head I screamed at myself to swallow my fear, to make sure my weakness doesn't ever show again, to keep his satisfaction down.
Yet I said anyway, "Ugh. Who in the right mind would ever wanna bang you?"
"Heh, who doesn't?"
I growled and shook my head saying, "You are disgusting," And I meant it to.
He chuckled softly and said, "I'm just kidding with ya doll... a lap dance will be just fine though..."
"Pfft," I rolled my eyes and blew a strand of my hair out of my face, still turned away from him.
After his short, amused, laugh, his eyes stared me down; and I felt them crawl up me like the shivers that ran up my arms.
After a moment of silence I decided it was my turn to speak.
"Why do you sometimes stay out later then others?"
That was only one of the questions that swam in my mind, the others almost flowed out my mouth at that moment but I quickly cut myself off, keeping them inside.
I would have to start out slow if I wanted to get any information from him.
"Why don't you?"
"Because unlike you, I follow the rules. You don't have to, but I always will."
"Heh, alright then goodie-to-shoes."
At his new nick name my curiosity flattened and anger began to rise again.
Will there ever be a moment where I'm not angry with him?
"Excuse me?" I asked, feeling the anger through my words.
He just looked at me and smirked, that's when I realized I had been staring at him the whole time.
My face burned a bit red and I turned away, telling myself it was just the anger.
"What? You're a goodie-goodie. Ain't ya?" He laughed and my face burned more with embarrassment.
Was I really a goodie-goodie?
At least the nickname was better then his others.
Then he said, "How did you get in here anyway dollface?" And my hope for the others to go away, sunk.
His question took me by surprise, considering I started off with the questions.
How did he twist it around?
Though I hated to admit it, he was smart.
He knew just how to get the topic off him.
Even if he was an prideful jerk.
I didn't think about his tricks at the time though, all I could think about was how to keep G from satisfaction, yet everything I said seemed to give him more.
All it gave me, was regret.
"... In this cell? From those stupid rumors you spread. I did nothing wrong."
"Of course you didn't goodie-to-shoes," He rolled his eyes and I turned my head back to the wall that I peeled, "I know you didn't. But because you are such a goodie-goodie, I meant in prison specifically, idiot."
He mumbled the last word, but I heard it clearly and growled.
"I don't have to tell you anything," I replied, desperate to keep the secret from him, "Besides, I can ask you the same thing."
That earned a chuckle, and for some reason, I almost enjoyed the sound of it.
I was definitely going insane.
"You know why I'm in here doll," His eyes stayed on me and I struggled to keep my eyes on the wall, peeling harder.
"No, I don't."
"Haven't you heard all the stories? I have lots of reasons, good reasons," He added sharply, still mad I was in the same cell as him, "To be here."
"Yes, well I mean specifically," I said, smirking myself.
It felt good to mock him.
He went silent, and I couldn't help but glance my eyes at him for only a moment.
G's face was full of blank fury, and his jaw clenched (which was clearly visible and I tried to keep my face from tainting red). I could see his eyes were half open and angry as they stared at me.
I kept my smirk strong, finally feeling the satisfaction of his anger.
Is this why he continued to annoy me?
"Well?" I said to his silence.
"You ain't gonna tell me your reason, I ain't gonna tell my mine."
He turned his head away from me and I was getting desperate.
"Fine? You wanna know?"
Without thinking I told him with a straight expression, telling him I meant business.
"I killed a child."
When his head turned back to me, I could see his eyes full of shock and worry.
For a moment, I almost felt bad for my words.
Why had I just let out my only secret from him?
Why had I given in so easily?
His words where tricky, as if you could trust this jerk who only cared for himself.
If someone like that, can get you to trust him, he has got some talent.
The moment passed and he smirked again, as if it was a cover for what had just happened.
"Heh. So you ain't such a goodie-goodie after all?"
"No!" I yelled, not wanting anyone to think of me as a murderer.
"I didn't mean to!" I said, speaking my mind, speaking the truth.
I wasn't thinking.
No, I definitely wasn't thinking as I spilled my thoughts to the man who wants to kill me.
"I didn't mean to hit the child! I was being careless, weak! I am weak! I was afraid, I was driving fast, driving away from my sickly home! Then the child was just... there!
"He was in front of the car, his head faced me like a deer in headlights. He was afraid. As afraid as me. The cops had thought I meant to kill the monster child, but I didn't! I would never want to kill any child, any person ever! Except you!!!"
My last words stung my mouth, and I spit them out as tears streamed down my face.
Weak.
So so weak.
When my focus came back, and my breathing evened, I could see G staring at me with a clam, straight expression.
To my surprise, he was listening.
He listened to every word I had spit out at him.
In his eyes I saw no humor, no anger, no worry, no emotion.
But they stared at me and I felt the sadness cave in on me.
How could I have let myself fall to the floor and sob into my hands?
How could I have let G continue to stare, his gaze saying no words to my display of agony.
I never meant to harm the child.
And I knew that the regret I had, the regret I get, is the regret I deserve.
I didn't know what happened after that, all I know is that I woke up on the cold stone floor, with G asleep on the bed.
*****
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