I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.
Anne Lamott

I think on some level, you do your best things when you're a little off-balance, a little scared. You've got to work from mystery, from wonder, from not knowing.
Willem Dafoe

CROW HILLS TOWN
THE JAMES HOME
SATURDAY
1:30 PM
TERRENCE JAMES

He spent more than forty five minutes in the shower crying his eyes out, but that didn't seem to bring his memory back. The cold was what finally pushed him out of the shower.

Wrapping his towels tightly around his waist he went to his room.  Unfortunately for him, his mother was already waiting for him and to add more to his bad luck she was holding the trouser with the blood stain in her lap.

Thick Saliva pooled in his mouth, he tried swallowing but it was difficult, it seemed like an impossible thing, his tongue had grown bigger in size within seconds. His mother looked up from the clothe she was holding with raised eyebrows, her signature of asking a question.

"Good morning mom." He said acting as if he didn't understand the question she was asking.

"Is it a good morning?" She asked, lifting up the trouser for him to see.

"Mom, I don't know what that was, maybe a ketchup spilled at the party. You do know I attended last night's party right?" He said, sounding alarmed at the little or no change in his mother's expression.

"I was informed that you attended the party, but that does not explain this stain and don't lie to me and tell me it was a ketchup this is definitely a blood stain." His mother said, standing up from his bed.

"I don't know mom, I really don't know." He answered but he couldn't cover his guilt so he entered the room fully.

"Come here let me see, did you hurt yourself? Or maybe someone hurt you at the party?" His mother asked, moving closer to him. Checking his body all over for any traces of wound or blood.

"Mom, please. Am not hurt anywhere and this is embarrassing." He protested, moving away from his mothers prying hands.

Standing up and facing him fully, his mother looked at his face, concentrating her eyes firmly on his, it was one of his mother's tactics to detect if he was lying. If he turns away, it means he is lying. So he tried as much as he could and held his mother's gaze for longer.

Satisfied with his innocence, she went back to his laundry basket and picked up his remaining dirty clothes along with the stained trousers, carrying them towards the door. She stopped suddenly as if she remembered something and turned slowly towards him.

"You, young man didn't sleep at home last night. I checked up on both you and your sister. She came home around 12:51 am but you never came home because I checked again after i saw your sister. So you have some explaining to do. Be down in thirty minutes, me and your father will be waiting for you." She said and turn around leaving his room.

He could hear her footsteps on the stairs, but he was rooted to a spot and couldn't decided on what to do. He kept on searching his memory but everything from the last night was blank.

He sat down heavily on his bed and closed his eyes, hoping that something may trigger his memory but his memory was not coming back.

What would he tell his parent? He was never good at lying to them, especially his mother, she would be questioning him like a police officer.

Can he tell them about the two dead bodies? He couldn't because that would just prove to them that he couldn't take care of himself and there was the probability that they would conclude that he needs special treatment.

What if he talked to them about losing some part of his memory? At least, the part of his memory from last night till the moment he woke up. Wouldn't that be asking for a direct visa to the loony bin from his parents?

He was undecided, he stood up and moved towards his drawers to get a pair of socks, trouser and a shirt. Even though physically he was aware, mental he was unaware, because he felt lost with the fear dominating his mind in constant search for the answers.

"Terrance James! Thirty minutes is up and you still haven't gotten down here, if you don't come down this instant, I will come up there to drag you out here." His mother shouted and he felt trapped. He has to go and face them, he couldn't hide forever.

He purposely dragged his feet, to slow his movement, descending the stairs felt as if he was taking a walk of doom. But no matter how long he wanted to prolong it, he reached the sitting room.

Stopping slightly behind his mother so she would practice her "gazing interrogation" on him again.

"Ter, where did you slept last high? You mother checked up on you three times in your room but you weren't there. I was a bit concerned when she told me this morning, because considering the fact that you have never attended a party, not coming home last night from your first party was alarming", his father said. One thing about his father was, he liked getting all his words out in one go. It could be bothersome sometimes but on occasions like this, he appreciated it.

"I think my drink was spiked last night, I only took two cups and it was from Lao, but it could be the whole drink was spiked." He answered.

"What do you mean your drink was spiked? Are you saying you drank alcohol? Besides that where did you sleep?" He mother said turning fully on the chair to face him. He choose that moment to look away and looked up at the television that was on but mute.

"Dad please unmute that, that seems to be some kind of emergency news." He said instead of answering his mother. His father took the remote and increase the volume.

"This is an emergency news at noon from CHNews." The lady news reporter said.

"Earlier today, two dead bodies where found at the abandoned warehouse at the edge of the town. These bodies which was discovered by one of the local resident, an old woman who was talking her dog for a walk. According to her, her dog started backing as soon as they neared the warehouse, at first she thought it was the weather that was spooking him, but the dog took off and ran inside the building, barking continuously at something in the building. She kept calling the dog but he refused to come outside, she went inside to check and realized her dog had found dead bodies. That was when she placed a call to the local police office." The reporter said.

"Presently the identity of both bodies are yet to be verified as there were multiple stab wounds on the bodies. Also found at the scene was a ring, dropped at the side of the building, possibly by the perpetrator of the crime. The police are still searching the surroundings for any and all evidence that may assist with their investigation." The news reporter continued.

The cameraman moved his camera towards the scene and the police could be seen taping and marking the surroundings of the building.

"As it can be seen, the police are busy at work, especially trying to get the identity of the bodies. Reporting Live for CHNews, Sidney Aiko." The reporter concluded.

Terrance went cold, no part of his body seemed to be working, it was a matter of time before they found him, his print were all over the crime scene, combined with his memory loss, he was doomed.

He could only hear half of what was being said by both his parents, he just nodded his head on one or two occasions.

What stood out most to him was what his father said about the bodies, his father was certain they were murdered.

Isn't it time he talked to his parents and informed them honestly about this incident and his loss of memory? For some strange reason he couldn't remember anything about what happened that night, but the fear of how his father will react if he talked to him was stopping Terrence from making a decision on what to do, should he talk or not?
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