愛 *·˚ ༘ ➳ 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 ❞

three days later is when all hell broke loose. the knock on his door immediately irritated him and he rolled his eyes, dropping his pencil at the sudden, harsh interruption, "the fuck do you want!?" 

his door swung open and he was getting ready to bite someone's head off, before he realized it was y/n shakily rushing into his room, slamming the door behind her. katsuki looked up, tossing his things on the desk and stood from his bed. he raised a brow and softly grabbed one of her wrists, demanding to find what the issue was.

he knew as soon as she stepped into his room something was off. she looked like she was on the verge of tears as she tugged on his shirt as soon as she was in reach, pulling at the fabric.

"ka-katsuki, i'm sorry- i'm so sorry i don't want to ask you this, and you don't have to, please don't feel like you do, okay?" she was crying at that point, and he could barely understand a word she was saying, "i'm so sorry, but i just need- it hurts, it hurts-"

oh. he understood the problem.

"let go." y/n looked at him with wet, questioning eyes, his own were as hard and serious as he was being. he didn't want to admit the familiar sinking feeling of fear that dropped heavy in his stomach, so he chose to ignore it "let it go, y/n. give it to me."

"katsuki, i'm so sorry- and after i said i wouldn't let you go through-"

"i don't fucking care what you said. i said the offer's on the table, didn't i?" he placed his hands on y/n's shoulders, squeezing, fiery gaze burning into her. "let it go."

y/n exhaled shakily and almost immediately, it hit him like bricks. large, heavy, deadly bricks. everywhere and in every sense.

katsuki went rigid with an insane amount of aching, head pounding and throbbing. the thoughts that he could hardly even process any way, the tension in his neck and chest and fingers, the weight on his shoulders, the throbbing in his legs and pain in his back.

he moved his hands to cup the sides of y/n's face, pressing his forehead against hers as he tried to breathe through it. he was shaking. it hurt. it hurt. it fucking hurt— it hurt.

but he could do it. he could do it just for a little bit. y/n dealt with it everyday, she balanced and somehow handled all of it. he could, he... couldn't think anymore. he could barely process the action of y/n wiping the tears from his cheeks, but when he did, he leaned into the touch, her fingers were cool. they felt nice. really, really nice.

y/n bit her lip, "i'm so sorry, katsuki. i'm so sorry. i can- i'll take it-"

"leave it, leave it." he whispered, voice strained, shaking. his eyes fell shut, damp. cheeks wet, tears cold. his nose burned, the bridge throbbed in time with the headache at the back of his head. his hands moved to tightly grip her waist to pull her close, burying his face in y/n's neck. he didn't want to be alone. he needed to hold on to something, someone. "i've got it."

katsuki opened his eyes to the darkness of his room.

when did he fall asleep?

he looked to the side; y/n was laying beside him; she appeared to be asleep. he wasn't in any pain at all anymore- she took it back. he felt lighter than before- looser, better than ever, actually. it must've been the contrast between that insane amount of pain and then, none at all.

he turned on his side, touching his fingers to the side of the girl's face gently. how did she even do it? she said the headaches were easy to get used to, she had a special therapist to mend the emotional and mental pain while she carried it. hospital visits were frequent because of the constant torture her body went through daily.

he didn't want that for her, but she refused to give any of it back.

she was so annoying. what made her think it was okay for her to do that to herself, anyway? and how wasn't she so exhausted all the damn time? katsuki sighed, recalling what she'd told him. only physical certain pain was prominent such as headaches or... the loss of hearing. the emotional and mental wasn't too much of a hassle. she was pretty head strong, so she could deal with plenty of those... it still didn't make any sense.

did she just plan on living the rest of her life in pain?

y/n's eyes fluttered open and upon that realization, katsuki pulled his fingers away.

y/n grabbed his wrist, bringing his hand back to her face without a word. she was so... katsuki couldn't think of the word. something beautiful. he cupped her cheek, the rather sudden urge to just be near her strong, especially when she looked at him with those eyes. like she needed someone with her.

y/n's fingers ran over katsuki's knuckles softly, "thank you so much."

"you took it back in like five fucking minutes." katsuki grumbled, trailing his hand from her jaw, to her shoulder, and then squeezing her arm. "why do you do that to yourself? doesn't make any sense, it's fucking torture, y/n."

y/n sighed, closing her eyes.

"katsuki, we've talked about this-"

"yeah. and we never reached a conclusion because—"

"people can quickly, and assuredly be saved from burning buildings." y/n cut him off. "from sinking boats, from train crashes and villain attacks in the city. they can't be saved from their thoughts. their illnesses and feelings, their disabilities... i can save them from that, though. i can be someone's hero- i can take that pain away, katsuki. me suffering at the cost of a hundred smiles is definitely worth it."

"who the hell will save you, though?" katsuki frowned, tugging at her sleeve. "y/n. their pain isn't your responsibility. why can't you just fucking give it back?"

"why do you keep- i can't-"

"yes, you can-"

"freeing someone from imprisonment, then throwing them back into their cell days later is inhumane. i could never take this back. these are my chains, now. and even if i think i want to give it all back, permanently, it would just return shortly after. the only thing this quirk can't fight is a lie to myself and what i want to take."

that was the end of the conversation. he could tell by the tone of her voice. katsuki's face tightened. he silently pulled away from her, turning on his side without another word.